He can't bear to have things be this way between them. He has to fix this, and by the way she's looking at him, he knows she's fed up with this as well. Lovingly, he strokes her face softly, and kisses the top of Isa's blondish brown curly head. And as he gazes upon his little one once more, he then shifts his eyes back to his love, and whispers, "Can we talk?" She gives him a look of worry as she whispers, "I don't want to fight anymore T." He whispers, "Me either. No fighting, just talking. Please."
She sees the pleading in his eyes and she agrees to talk to him. As she gets up he stands up and she lays Isa in her crib. He stands next to her and they both peer down at their miracle as she settles into her bed. As the moonlight shines down on her from the skylight positioned above her crib. Her sweet brown sugar tan, and gorgeous blondish curls are illuminated, along with the beautiful diamond stud earrings in her newly pierced ears. The only thing missing from this sweet captioned moment is seeing her gorgeous blue eyes staring back at them.
The sight of her sleeping soundly on her back, sucking on her Minnie Mouse pacifier, dressed in her matching Minnie onesie, like a good girl. Is a heartwarming vision indeed. But, it's also deceptive, because it wasn't an easy battle to win in training her to sleep on her back. It's taken several weeks to achieve this goal, but it's one of the many first challenges they both know their little one will accomplish in her journey of life.
Kerry feels the love in their circle as they look at their angel sleeping and Tony has his arm around her waist, as she leans into him. It's been a few days since they've been this close, and they both feel it. Despite what they've been battling, when they're together like this, it feels like home.
When they're sure she's down for the count, they leave the room and walk down the hall to the living room. When they enter the room, he asks, "Did you want some tea?" She replies, "It's too late for caffeine." He responds, "It's almost 6am Ker." Not realizing the time she replies, "Oh, okay."
He knew by her response she was off center, he felt the same way whenever they were at odds. As she sits in the living room he makes the tea for her, and when he's done he brings it to her. He can tell she's beat, and knows she hasn't been sleeping.
As they sit together he looks at her as she sips her tea, and he sees her smile. He says, "Just like you like it, right?" She nods as she says, "Yes. As always, you know me so well." There's a pause, because in the moment they both feel the sinking feeling between them.
He bites the bullet and says, "Ker, I'm sorry I hurt you. I know what I said wasn't easy for you to hear. And it was wrong for it to come out the way it did." She puts down the tea and says, "It wasn't wrong for it come out T. I don't even care about the way it came out, because that's not what hurt me." Giving her time to say what she needed to say, she gathers her thoughts and says, "What hurt me is the fact that you made it seem like I didn't want what was best for Isa. Like somehow you were the parent looking out for her, and not me."
He sees her getting emotional as her eyes fill with tears, he wants to hold her. But he knows touching her right now is not what she needs or wants. So he lets her finish as she says, "I carried our child for 9 months in my womb, I know her, she's a part of me. She's a part of us. One of the most special parts about her is the fact we made her together. So for you, her father, my husband, the only man I've ever loved with every part of me to think I'd ever let another man claim her as his child, that breaks my heart. Because that would never happen, and you actually thought it would. That is what hurt me! If you know me or knew me at all, how could you think that about me?"
His heart is hurting seeing her cry and knowing he's the source of her pain. Tears fill his eyes too as he stares into her tear stained eyes, and watches the flow of tears roll down her cheeks. He wants to hold her, but still let's her set the tone for them touching as he instead leans toward her, and says, "Ker, this isn't about you. And I am an ass for making it about you, when it was all about me. I never thought about how my words would make you think I doubted you. I love you and Isa so much baby, that the thought of anyone else being with you in my place terrifies and angers me. Even if I know the situation and I agreed to it in part. Which of course makes me look like an even bigger ass!"
She hears him and sees that he's extremely remorseful for his reaction, which she appreciates. But, she can't take this happening again. So she says, "T, I love you too. I love you and Isa more than anything in this world. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her, and you. But babe, I can't tolerate you blowing up like this anymore. This passive aggressive bullshit has to stop. I need you to talk to me and tell me what you're thinking instead of acting like you're fine only for you to melt down later." He nods in agreement and understands her response. He takes her hand and says, "Ker, you have my word baby. I will do better. I was wrong for not coming clean with you and Judy about how I was feeling about the plan. It's an uncomfortable situation, but it's one I signed up for. And it's not fair for me to act like it's a surprise."
She feels his touch and while it feels nice to hold his hand, she has to ask, "Are you having regrets about signing on for this with me?" He quickly and unequivocally says, "Absolutely not Ker. There's nothing I wouldn't do if it meant you'd be with me in the end. You and now Isa. We, are a family and our future happiness is worth all of the maneuvering we have to do for now."
She hears him but asks, "Do you really mean that babe?" He gestures for her to get closer to him, and she allows him to pull her into his arms, as he looks deep into her eyes and says, "Look at me baby." She looks up at him, and he cups her face as he says, "Yes. The answer is absolutely without fail or hesitation Yes. Or hell yes!" She smiles at him, and he appreciates that he can still make her smile, even in the most serious moments.
He strokes her cheeks with his thumb as he says, "Every time, each and every time, I choose you. I choose us, and I choose our family Ker. And that means everything that comes along with it too, because it's worth it. In the end, a life with you by my side will be so worth it."
His words make her exhale, and he sees the hurt in her eyes now subsiding as she relents to him, allowing him to kiss her lips. He pecks her lips sweetly, but after a few seconds of light kisses, she makes it clear that she needs more. And, him being the loving, doting, attentive husband that he is, he gives his wife exactly what she's asking for. He scoops her up into his arms and he carries her into their bedroom, reminiscent of the first time making love as husband and wife on their honeymoon.
The moment is special and pure, and does them both good emotionally, mentally and spiritually. They needed to purge their feelings and understand one another. And in the end this bout will make them stronger because as a result they will be more cognizant of one another's feelings. The road ahead is sure to have more bumps and bruises, and this round will prepare them to face the rockier moments ahead.
With them making up complete, over the next few days they strategize a plan with Judy to move forward with their public relations campaign. This time, they are united in every aspect. It makes Judy smile to see them with a renewed sense of purpose and understanding. It's not about the here and now, it's about the future, and this is simply laying the ground work for their future.
Three months later
With them now being back on set and filming season 4 of the show; everyone is gearing up for a season of even more twists and turns, nobody would dream of happening both on set and off. And while that's enough to stress out the sanest person, along with the moves Shonda made over the course of the last few months, which shook everyone, by her firing Columbus, due to her finding out about his last scrape Kerry helped him out of, and him managing to rack up another domestic violence complaint.
Shonda did what most bosses would probably do in her position. But, it still didn't feel real to think about moving on without Colby being part of the cast for Kerry, or any of the other cast members. But, what was done was done.
With that sad, impending difference on set looming, Kerry and Tony decided to focus on the joys of their personal lives being on high and growing. With their baby girl growing like a weed, and Kerry opting to bring her to work daily, as a welcomed distraction from the crazy happenings of their professional lives, and their personal projects taking off too. Life is really good. Tony's directorial project called "The Divide," on We cable network reflects the work of the innocence project has been green lit, and Kerry landed a project with HBO to shoot the Anita Hill story in biopic form. Where she will star in the film and also direct through her new production company Simpson Street.