SmackDown Filming: October 18, 2011

Randy looks at me. "So I don't have a match tonight."

I sigh. "That's a bummer. Neither do I."

"You can't be my manager tonight then."

"Well, maybe I can manage you at Vengeance or the following Raw."

"Hopefully. I wanted you to at least one more time."

"I know. We'll figure something out. I bet at least one of our Vengeance opponents has something though."

"I'm sure."

"We'll just have to be a pain in the ass for people."

"That I can do, Rissa."

"Me too. I can do it easily. In other news, John Laurinaitis isn't here tonight."

"That's wonderful news."

"You're telling me. I'm going to be able to walk around not wanting to beat someone up."

"Well, there's people who you still don't like."

"Okay. Scratch that then. I can just direct my anger somewhere else."

"Fair enough. We could just spend some time in Catering."

"Nope. It's potentially the last SmackDown before I stop competing for a while. I gotta go be a pain in the ass."

Randy pulls me to him. "Fair enough."

I put my arms around him. "I'm content though. I'm fine with walking away after Vengeance if I don't win. Just know that. I'm ready to do this just as much as you are."

"Good." Randy kisses me.

Our door opens. "I swear this happens every time I walk in here."

I roll my eyes. "Shut up, Ted."

"You guys aren't supposed to be baby making yet." Ted comments.

"We're not."

"Maybe later though." Randy whispers.

I laugh. "We'll see about that."

Ted sighs. "I'm about to leave."

Randy and I stop and look at Ted.

"Chill." Randy says. "We'll stop."

"For now." I add.

Ted rolls his eyes as he sits on the couch. "Whatever. How are you feeling, Rissa?"

"I guess alright. John Laurinaitis isn't here, so I'm not pissed off. However, I don't get to manage Randy like I planned, so I'm not happy."

"That's totally understandable. It's potentially your last SmackDown as an active onscreen performer."

"I know. It's a little annoying. I'm gonna go get some Catering."

Randy smiles. "Okay. Go fill your stomach."

I watch from backstage as Beth and Natalya head to the ring to cut a promo.

"At Vengeance," Beth says. "I will once again beat Marissa for the Divas Championship and prove that Natalya and I are the superior Divas in this division."

Natalya nods. "You see everyone focuses on all these Divas who are little Barbie doll models and not the real athletes. You won't see us strutting around in bikinis. You won't see us being used for eye candy, and you most certainly won't see us running around getting our pictures taken for magazine photo spreads or magazine covers, like Maxim. Did you hear about that?"

Beth rolls her eyes. "Are you talking about Marissa's Maxim shoot? Yeah I think I heard about that. And it's a prime example of what we're talking about? Little Barbie doll models getting our spotlight."

I know I want that girl so bad

I lie awake at night

And think of all the things that I would do

With a girl like that…

I walk out onto the stage. "So how many times have you two called me a Barbie doll? If you think that I'm a model and not an athlete, let me spill some facts. Beth, you have never beaten me on your own clean. Every time you've technically won against me, you either cheat or someone helps you. Natalya, I don't even think you've ever beaten me one-on-one. So the next time you two want to act like I'm not an athlete, think about that. I think I know what problem you two have with me. You're mad that not only can I out wrestle you two, but I also get more opportunities to do stuff outside of the ring than you do, such as magazine shoots. My Maxim shoot is this week by the way. You two know I can kick your asses, so you feel threatened. This isn't about me being liked more than you, Beth. If you want to know why that is though, it's because you're a bitch. See you at Vengeance this Sunday when I kick your ass and take my championship back."

I walk backstage with a large smile. "I still got it."

I lay with Randy on the bed in our hotel room. "I don't think I'm actually that motivated to win on Sunday at Vengeance."

Randy turns me to face him. "Really? Why?"

"I'm just ready to have a baby. I think we've done this weird reverse thing where now I think that I think about it more than you do."

"I honestly doubt that. I think about it a lot."

I smile. "That's nice to hear."

"Yeah. I just hope that John Laurinaitis doesn't piss you off too much anymore."

"Oh this is definitely only the beginning. However, if I end up pregnant soon and he gets his ass kicked by maybe you after that, they might look the other way."

"Why?"

"Because most people know not to cross a pissed off pregnant woman."

Randy laughs. "So if I get you knocked up, I can kick his ass?"

"As long as you do it where they can't definitely identify you."

"I could definitely arrange that."

"Good. Thank you for having my back."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm not saying you wouldn't. I'm just thanking you."

"Oh okay. This time next year, we could have a little baby. That's crazy."

I smile. "It honestly feels crazy, but I'd be okay with that. Honestly, with the amount of times I've been cheated on, I was starting to give up on finding a permanent relationship before you decided to put the moves on me."

Randy laughs. "As I've said before, I couldn't let you not be mine anymore. I love you way too much. Plus, I'm not like that."

"Thank you for that. I was starting to get really insecure, especially after Chris. I just still don't understand why people cheat. Which is ironic because of how I was conceived. I'm just glad you showed me it didn't have to be that way. I did take our split very hard though."

Randy nods. "Yeah, Chelle told me and made sure to give me so much shit. Little did she know that I wasn't taking it well either. I shouldn't have even let it happen."

I pull Randy into a kiss. "That's in the past. As I was saying, I was starting to give up on having that permanent relationship where I'd be able to settle down and have a family. Then, you changed all of that. I was happy and secure and thinking about marriage. I don't feel like I let you know how grateful I am and how much I appreciate you enough. You really did change everything for me."

Randy pulls me close. "That was always my goal. Clearly, I had been around enough to know your dating history. It's not pretty. I knew you never were treated the right way. I loved you, still do, and needed to change that. You're my everything now. I wasn't one for settling down, but you changed that for me. I'm very happy being settled down now and am more than willing to give you all the children you want. I just want you to feel like everything is perfect. You went through too much bullshit."

"Adam actually asked me what I did to you to get you like that."

Randy laughs. "All you did was make me happy. Do you remember the night of your nineteenth birthday?"

"How could I forget about that? It was way too much of a big deal."

"Not just that though. Do you remember what all happened before that?"

"Even though it was a decade ago, I remember that night really well. I had a small party with my family and some friends at your parents' house. You were in attendance. I think you had made a small visit only because you were training at OVW at the time. That's the same day I met Cena I think because you brought him along. Anyway, we had the party, but my boyfriend at the time didn't come because he was supposedly working. I decided to go visit him before heading back home. I took a bus there and turned out he was sleeping with another girl. I was absolutely devastated. I didn't want it made into a big deal for the remainder of my birthday. I couldn't let Tyler, Kenny, or my dad know. I didn't want to bug your parents, and your sister would've told. I got desperate and called you. I remember explaining everything and telling you how I didn't want it to ruin the rest of my birthday and my family couldn't find out yet. You very quickly came and picked me up. You took me back to your place, and some things happened. I remember. Why?"

"I just want you to know how much you always meant to me. I dropped everything to go pick you up. I let you stay the night without telling anyone else about it until the next day. I just did everything to make sure you were alright. You have always been one of my top priorities. That's never going to change, and with all of this, you're only going to become an even bigger part of me."

I smile. "That's the way it's meant to be."

I let myself doze off and finally sleep after that very long and personal conversation.