A Hell of a Time
So apparently my life runs on Role Playing Game logic now. One of the first things I did when we got home was rush up and grab some of the books from Mom's chest, hoping that they could explain the numbers and words I'd seen. I'd found a passage in one of them that made a mention of stat screens and levels and classes and statistics and... Basically, it said that my life ran on RPG logic.
I set the book down after reading the section on controlling when the stat screen pops up, closed my eyes, and took a breath. Then I opened my eyes to see my stat screen. "Taylor Hebert/Akuma. Class: Demon Hero. Titles: Demon Lord, Independent Hero. Level: 1."
I blinked. I don't know where that Demon Lord title came from, but... I closed the book and went for that family history. I flipped it open to the Index looking for someone who might have been Mom. I couldn't find an Annette Rose, but I found several Annes and Roses. I flipped around until I found one that had that same picture of Mom from when she was my age. Anne. Daughter of Abu(father) and Bathorus(Mother), Grand Daughter of Overlord Acamarachi... Deceased? What, did this book update in real time? It said she'd married Dad, and there was an entry for me, but... I did some reading, and I was shocked. Apparently, I came from a Long Dynasty of demonic Nobles and Royals. I became curious and flipped to my Great Grandfather's entry. He'd had two sons, the younger, Abu, had been my mother's father, but the Elder, Krakatoa... Like the Volcano? Anyway, after my Great Grandfather died of a poisoning, Krakatoa had killed his father's assassin and become the next Overlord. His son, my mother's cousin, Krichevskoy... Same name as the family? I didn't see any last names in this book. Anyway, he was the Overlord next and... ah, so that's why Mom had said an attraction to brown haired humans had run in the family. King Krichevskoy had married a human witch named Gwen... And they were both deceased. They'd had a son, Laharl... who went missing several years ago.
I flipped through the book. Every last one of them was dead, missing, or had been sealed away by something. Unless Mom had been the one to add me and Dad to the book and some of these missing had turned up, I was the only one left. Well, that was depressing. I closed the book and put it and the others away.
I took out the case with the bank card, catalog, and cell phone. Looking at the cell, I noticed it had "Hellphone" written on the side, and I chuckled at the pun. The Bank Card had my mother's Demon Name, Anne, written on it along with a number, presumably her account number, and the catalog simply said "Nether-Bank and Rozen Queen Company joint Catalog-Updates in real time!" I flipped it open. I didn't think that I'd be able to buy anything, even with Mom's bank card, but it'd be nice to look. Then I checked the index and right at the top of the Nether-Bank section was "claiming an inherited or conquered bank account." I was curious, so I flipped to that page. It was easy. I just had to dial a number and give the accountant on the other end the name of the previous account holder, whether I'd inherited the account or defeated the last owner, and then the number. I had mom's phone, but... Later. I'd call in this weekend, I think, to see if it was legit, but for now, I'd just look through the catalog.
It was an hour later that I realized that I'd never changed out of my costume, but before I could get changed I heard Dad calling me from downstairs.
I stepped downstairs to find him sitting in the living room, staring at a huge cardboard box.
"What's in the box, Dad?"
"I don't know," he answered. "There was a knock on the door and it was on the porch. It's addressed to you."
I got closer and took a look. The top of the box was stamped "Rozen Queen Shipping" and said, "To Taylor." The box was huge. Rozen Queen... I hadn't ordered anything from that catalog yet. I cautiously opened the box, to find two more boxes inside. I blinked and pulled one out, then the other, heavier one.
The lighter box had a note pinned to it, which I opened and read.
Dear Taylor
If you're reading this, then I am dead.
I ordered these shortly after you were born, with the instructions that they are delivered if your demonic powers ever awoke or you otherwise gained powers.
After a while, I began to worry that something might happen to me before you gained powers and had the instructions amended to include this letter.
These are far from the best items, but they're much better than most starting equipment. Use them well.
Love, Mom.
PS: You're on your own for a weapon.
PPS: As I'm dead, I most likely have not gotten you a birthday present for whatever year you're reading this. If this is the case, well, Happy Birthday.
I smiled and made a note to hold onto the letter. Before checking the box the letter had been attached too, however, I chose to examine the third, heavier box. There was no note, just "to Taylor" stamped across the top. Curious, I opened it, only for a brown haired child to pop out.
I stumbled back and screamed. Dad screamed, and the little girl in the box screamed, and then we were all screaming.