A Hell of a Time

"Hello," I said into Mom's hellphone as Dad sped away from the flaming rage dragon, "this is Akuma. I'm supposed to be coming in for a um, meeting" I said to the PRT secretary on the other end, "but we've hit a-" the sound of a blast of fire hitting pavement cut me off-"complication."

"What's going on out there?" asked the secretary in a voice too calm.

"We hit Lung with our car," I answered calmly, "and he's pissed."

"You would not believe how often that happens," the secretary said in a bored monotone. "What is your location."

I looked out the window. "I don't know um... just look for the fucking fire!" I yelled, finally losing my patience with the whole charade, then I hung up.

Sicily had unbuckled her seat belt and was staring out the back window at the super villain chasing us. "I think we can take him."

"Sicily," said to the angel without looking, "we are not fighting Lung."

"Why not?" she asked in reply, "he's a supervillain and you're a superhero, so..."

"Because," I answered, "he's the strongest parahuman in the city." She din't respond. "There are rumors that he's single handed faught off an Endbringer-"

"What's an Endbringer?" Oh, that's right, Sicily wasn't from Earth Bet.

I took a deep breath as yet another blast of fire barely grazed the car. "The Endbringers are giant, invincible monsters that show up to wreck cities every few months. Normally it takes dozens if not hundreds of heroes and villains from all over the world to drive them off, and we don't always win." I pointed out the back window without looking, "and according to rumors, he fought one off by himself."

I was not expecting her to be in awe of that statement, but that was her tone when she said "he fought a Kaiju by himself?" Her awe turned to confusion, "but he's only level fifty."

"Sicily, I'm level six!" I said that a bit more loudly than I meant to, "and I don't even know your level. We're not fighting Lung."

"But Taylor," my young cousin whined, "you're supposed to be a hero, aren't you?" Sicily's expression changed to one of determination. "A real hero never backs down, no matter the challenge!" Her expression changed again, "also, it is our fault that he's mad, so if we don't stop him we're responsible for anyone he hurts."

Well, wasn't that a one-two gut punch. Challenging my resolve then trying to guilt me into... fuck.

"Dad," I said as I unbuckled my seat belt. "I'm going to jump out of the car." Thankfully, I was already in costume complete with battle items. "once I'm clear, floor it."

"Taylor, I don't think" the concern was clear in his voice, but I didn't hear the rest of his sentence as I threw my door open and jumped out, rolling as I hit the ground and somehow managing to roll in just such a way that I could quickly and easily stand to my feet in a cool pose. If anyone asks, I did it on purpose.

Dad, bless him, floored just as I'd asked... and then I saw that Sicily had also jumped out of the car. Damn it, I didn't want her involved in this. Eh,it's too late now. She pulled her spell book out from wherever it is she keeps it, and I remember that the weapons I'd ordered had not, in fact, come in yet, so I was still fighting bare handed... well, I was gonna get hurt anyway.

Lung paused in his assault to take us in, and my god he was huge. He was a giant of a man, covered in thick metal scales with long, sharp talons and his body was wreathed in flame. He looked for all the world like it was he, and not I, who had the blood of a mighty lineage of demons flowing in his veins.

"Akuma," he said, his transformation not yet far enough to rob him of speech, "the little white girl who convinced one of my follows that you were a devil, then took the name as a trophy." He laughed, and it rumbled like thunder in the streets, "I can't blame you for wanting to take part of our cultures for your own, and I'd have let it slide under... normal circumstances..." He sounded surprisingly calm "but then you had to go and hit me with your fucking car!" There's the rage. Lung punctuated that sentence with an inhuman roar of fury but was cut off from acting further by Sicily.

"Is it true you fought off a Kaiju by yourself?" she asked the murderous rage dragon who was planning to kill us.

Lung didn't seem to know how to respond to that. "Well," he said after an awkward moment where I considered grabbing Sicily and running, "I suppose technically but-"

"Cool!," she said in reply.

"Look, do you understand what's about to happen?" Lung seemed genuinely confused by Sicily's lack of fear. I just thought that either she was crazy... or that this wasn't the most dangerous situation she's ever been in.

"Yeah, my cousin and I are gonna beat you up." God damn it. "Because that's what heroes do to villains. I just wanted to know if it was true that you fought a Kaiju."

"They... the official term is..." I could have sworn that he mumbled "fucking otaku" under his breath. "Who are you?" he finally asked my cousin.

"I'm Sicily, the demon angel and one and only sister of Overlord Laharl!" Sicily sounded so proud to be Laharl's sister. It was touching o know what someone could love their older brother that much.

Lung, of course, had no idea how to respond and... holy shit, was he shrinking? "Look, I don't know what that means... if it weren't for your obvious mutations, I'd just... you need to work on your theme... and" He turned to me as he near completely regressed to human form. "Look, the mood's gone, can we finish this later?"

"...I guess?" Please God let him forget.

Lung responded to my halfhearted answer by turning around and walking away. Just... No words, he just turned around and walked away. Dad managed topull back around, just as I heard the telltale rumble and roar of a very familiar motorcycle responding to my early call for help.

"What just happened?" both Armsmaster and my Dad asked in unison, one as he pulled up and the other as she steped out of the car.

I just looked at my cousin. "I don't even know."