Scene: A curtain pulls apart, revealing a theater screen. Off to the side is a rather inappropriately dressed teenaged demon with spiky red pigtails, a microphone in hand.
Taylor: Sicily, who is that?
Sicily: That's Etna.
Taylor: What's she doing?
Sicily: The Preview for the next episode.
Taylor: What!?
An image appears on the screen, showing Akuma riding a motorized bar stool being pursued by Lung in a motorized Lay-Z-Boy, Kaiser in an exact Replica of Hitler's car, Coil on a Motor Cycle, and Skidmark on Mush.
Etna: Tragedy fell as the famed racer Akuma perished in a freak accident on the track.
The image on the screen changes to a fiery wreck, Akuma's limp leg indicating that she lies dead just off screen.
Taylor: I'm not a racer, and I'm standing right here.
The screen changes again, showing Etna in a blue T-shirt driving what is totally not the Mach 5 with Etna's face decals slapped on the hood and doors.
Etna: Her dear friend Speed Etna, racer for justice, has taken up the race in Akuma's honor.
Taylor: This is literally the first time we've met.
Sicily: I don't even think this counts since it's not canon.
Taylor: Seriously, what the hell are you talking about?
The screen changes to every villain in Brockton Bay on various vehicles pursuing "Speed Etna" around a race track.
Etna: Danger lurks around every twist and turn on the track, but suddenly a new ally emerges.
A blue figure, no older than 13, wearing feminine, Prinny-themed armor, not unlike that of a Kamen Rider and riding a blue bicycle is shown jumping from a hill on the screen.
Etna: Who is the mysterious Prinnirider!
Taylor: Seriously, what the Hell is going on.
The screen changes to an image of Etna in a winner's circle.
Etna: Find out next time on Rider of Justice Speed Etna! Go Speed Etna, Go!
Taylor: Fuck it, I'm going to go find out where my Dad hides his scotch.