A Hell of a Time

"Will you surrender, dood," called out the so named Prinnirider or whatever her name was, "or will I have to take you down with force, Villains?"

"We're not villains," I called back to her... "Well, he is" I pointed to Lung who seriously looked like he was trying to decide if it would be better if this was a bit or not. "And I guess my team technically used to be-"

"Don't lie Villain!" The little girl interrupted, "I did my homework on this, only villains meet at this place, dood."

"...Who the fuck are you?"

"I told you, I am the Ally of Justice Prinnirider, returned to this world just after my death to repent my sins through acts of heroism dood!"

"No," I said, "seriously. You're like, thirteen at the oldest despite your voice thingy and your sculpted on abs and your boobplate." I mean, honestly, I'd have said something about it being inappropriate but if the PRT's PR guys let Vista get away with it... "What kind of sins could someone your age have accomplished?"

"You'd be surprised," Regent chimed in, "kids her age and younger are capable of some seriously fucked up shit under the right circumstances." I suppressed a shudder at the reminder of who my teammate used to be.

"She's obviously Bonesaw," Tattletale said out of nowhere.

"Wh-nh-f-huh." the self-proclaimed hero stuttered. "Am not, dood!"

"Tattletale, I know you've been out of it for a few days, but that's no excuse," Grue declared, "with that one sentence you have forever sealed your fate as being the stupidest smart person I've ever met."

"No, I'm serious," Tattletale began explaining, "I asked Sicily about the prinnies: They're the souls of sinners made to do manual labor in the afterlife to repent for their sins." Oh. Oh my god. I let one of them give me a neck rub. "She also explained how sometimes, for whatever reason a Prinny can't be given a prinny body so they get to keep their old one, and cyborgs get to keep their machine parts regardless: Prinnirider is clearly Unprinny Bonesaw, a child who just died, committed a shitload of sins that weren't necessarily actually her fault, and who the author of this piece of shit has repeatedly stated is their favorite character."

"I'm not Bonesaw dood!" the hero whined. God, that sounded weird through her voice modulator.

"Oh, sorry." Tattletale corrected with a smile. "That's right, Bonesaw is the 'passenger.' Anyway, there's also the interlude that's just Bonesaw crying and then being sent to Hades to become a Prinny and the author's repeated claims that he gave Bonesaw an expanded role in this fic because someone complained about her getting mercy, and then there were those previews from a few months ago-"

"Lisa!" Sicily interrupted, "you're not supposed to break the fourth wall that much!"

"Oh, you did not just my real name in public while I'm in costume!"

"Does it matter?" Sicily replied, "I mean, you guys did all just move in with a known hero who doesn't have a secret identity and I'm pretty sure the neighbors have seen everybody coming in and out both in and out of costume, so..."

"Akuma Daimaoh-sama," Lisa said in reference to myself while Lung palmed his mask again and muttered something about fucking weeaboos, "when we get home I'm going to have a long talk with your cousin about the Unspoken Rules-not the unwritten ones, those are fanon."

Suddenly half the street was on fire. "Enough talk!" shouted Lung as he began transforming into a massive rage dragon, "fight time now."

"Have at thee Villains!" Replied not-Bonesaw while drawing a massive Gatling gun from nowhere. "...dood."

"God damn it all," I said as I took my battle stance. At least my combat gloves had finally arrived and then turned invisible when I put them on. That was fucking weird.