JUST SAW THE AVENGERS ENDGAME TRAILER! HOLY FUCKING FUCK! But hey! At least I know that where things are partially at after Infinity War! So I decided to write a filler chapter! It's not going to be canon with anything else, and I can always go back and change it when Avengers Endgame is out in theaters! So here we go!
The aftermath of Thanos had left a large hole that can never be filled. As far as everyone knew, Thanos had a mission set out to eradicate half of the universe and he actually succeeded in doing so with all six Infinity Stones. As everyone says their goodbyes to the Wakandan's, I leave my contact information with Okoye before making my way to the Quinjet parked in the city. I step up to the main console and wait as it scans for my identification.
"Welcome, Tye-Dye, the Spicy-Hot-Tamale Avenger." FRIDAY spoke up.
Normally, I'd be laughing at the nickname my father programmed into the Quinjet, but for once, I feel sick. This time, it wasn't because of the pregnancy.
Something doesn't feel right.
I place a hand on my belly, silently praying that the baby was okay despite the fight with Thanos. I sit in the pilot seat and wait for everyone to arrive to take a breather.
"Fuck..." I slurred.
"Tyra, you alright?" Bruce asks.
I see Bruce enter alone and step forward until he's kneeling in front of the chair and carefully examining me.
"Shit, you look really pale. Is this from Thanos? He used the stones on you during the fight." Bruce recalls.
"I don't know..." I breathed out. "I don't feel...whole. Does that make sense?"
"Where are you taking the Quinjet to?" Bruce questions.
"I'm taking us to the Avengers base in New York. It's funded by my father and I, so we'll be safe there." I answer.
Reluctantly, Bruce nods in response. As everyone enters and gets settled in, I gently urge Bruce away from the controls and pilot the Quinjet. From that point onward, I head to the Avengers base in New York established after the defeat of Ultron. From those that hadn't been to the Avengers base since the fallout at the airport in Germany, it was extremely tense in the Quinjet. However, there were no arguments since my father and I had funded the base ourselves. Technically, I owned the base since my father wasn't currently there.
"So where are we going?" Rocket questions. "Not that I don't trust you or anythin'- -well I don't actually." He sarcastically remarks.
I blink tiredly as I continue to grip the steering controls tightly.
"Cease your speech, rabbit. I am trying to think." Thor grumbles.
"Think about what? How we all basically got fucked by Thanos- -?" Rocket starts.
"Would you shut up for one minute?!" Rhodey snaps at the small creature.
Everyone looks at Rhodey in surprise since he normally had control over his emotions, but honestly, no one can blame him for sounding so upset.
"We basically just lost everything. We failed to stop Thanos from killing half of the universe." Rhodey barely utters.
I put the Quinjet on autopilot after punching in the coordinates and whirl the chair around to face everyone.
"I know it might be...hard to comprehend..." I mutter weakly. "But no one is dead, not yet."
"Tyra."
We glance at Thor, who is looking at me with such intensity. Due to the circumstances that had us encounter each other again in the Sanctum in New York, I could tell that Thor had questions. Despite not being around for so long, Thor was more observant than I initially took him for. His eyes told me that he knew something was amiss, that something had happened to the Avengers and even much more than that. The Odinson was starting to put two and two together that things had happened, that this was the first time in quite a while that I had been with Natasha or Steve.
"Please. Tell me everything that you possibly can." Thor said.
From there, I basically explain everything that I know from start to finish. How I was rescued by Stephen Strange, the new protector of the New York Sanctum and new Master of the Mystic arts before I was thrown off of a cliff by Zemo. Then, I tell everyone how I was basically roped into becoming an apprentice of Stephen's, and of course how I finally gained full control of my Vanir abilities. I could tell that Steve and Natasha had more questions, but they could already tell how weak and tired I was and let the subject drop for now.
I talked mostly about everything that led up to the fight with Maw, which included me locating Odin and keeping an eye on him since he was exiled from Asgard. I then mentioned my bizarre behavior in Germany and explained that it was because of a link that Loki had secretly left in me before being taken away from Earth which Thor recalls perfectly how the two of us nearly killed each other, before the two left to see his father. Steve was able to follow along since I'd told him in confidence about the strange voice in my mind since before the Sokovia Accords mess. I also brought up how I'd been having visions about Thanos and Maw since before Maw's arrival on Earth.
When I finally get to explain how I was rescued by my father, Spiderman, and Dr. Strange from Maw's clutches, that's when I tell them that my father had suggested we take the fight to Thanos on Planet Titan to avoid further casualties on Earth. Everyone's on the edge of their seats, metaphorically speaking of course, as I talk to them about how we were ambushed by the Guardians of the Galaxy and then figured out that we had the same enemy before teaming up together. Then, I tell them, how Stephen and I had used the Time Stone to see all the possible outcomes and alternative timelines. I leave out the major details of course, knowing that I have to let things happen so the outcome isn't altered, but also because I don't have all the details either. Only Stephen knew everything, and I didn't get to ask him what he'd seen before Thanos arrived.
Rocket looks upset when I mention that Gamora had died at the hands of Thanos because of his quest for the Soul Stone, and also when I tell them it was basically Peter Quill's love for her that cost us the fight against Thanos. By the time the Quinjet lands at the Avengers base in New York, everyone is caught up to speed on what happened during my absence on Earth. When the door to the Quinjet opens, SHIELD agents come running out in a panic until they realize who we are. The first SHIELD agent to react calls for medics, especially when they look at the state of us. The others lower their weapons and stand back as we all silently walk out of the Quinjet.
"Miss Stark- -"
"I need you to take me to the lab. I don't want any doctors prodding at me." I mumbled weakly.
Rhodey comes over and gives me a stern glare.
"Ignore her. She needs medical attention." Rhodey spoke up.
"No." I growled. "I need the lab. Right now."
Rhodey looks slightly scared of me as I glow a faint shade of red, before his expression quickly melts away into concern. My uncle acts almost fatherly towards me as he holds me up, something I hadn't seen from him since I was a young teen. It was almost weird seeing this side of James Rhodes, but I don't say anything regarding it.
"Tyra, honey. You need a doctor to look at you. What could you possibly need from the lab?" Rhodey lowered his voice.
"I can have FRIDAY scan me for any injuries. I don't...I don't want a hospital or- -or- -"
"Tyra. I promise you, that you'll be fine. But you got smacked around by a huge purple alien with Infinity Stones, and you really need to be checked out."
When I lean against Rhodey, I nod tiredly. I was so tired of fighting, of everything.
"Okay...fine." I barely uttered. "But no hospitals."
"Don't worry. No hospitals." Rhodey promised.
Bruce steps forward and storms right over to us before examining me.
"She needs help right now. Find any medical personnel that you have on base." Bruce states worriedly.
When I'm taken away on a gurney, I feel like I could throw up again. I'm unsure if it's from the pregnancy or from both fights with Thanos, but the fact that I'm not healed from Extremis by now concerns everyone except Rocket Raccoon. Considering that the fight was several hours ago, I wondered what Thanos had done to me.
Maybe the Infinity Stones did something?
As I'm being led into the medical facility of the base, I'm wheeled into a private room and am scanned by a machine also programmed by FRIDAY as several nurses work quickly and diligently. It's different than the one in the lab, but it'd have to do for now until I performed my own tests.
"Ms. Stark, based off of all documentation we have regarding Extremis, you should have been fully healed by now. I'm guessing that the powers of these Infinity Stones have stunted your healing factor as I did a bit of collaboration with Dr. Banner. It looks like Extremis will return back to its normal state momentarily, or in a few hours give or take, but we've given you some morphine to help with the pain in the meantime. So you'll be drowsy for quite a while. We're waiting for your internal scans to come in from FRIDAY. When you wake up, I'll be able to tell you everything you need to know." The head doctor informs me.
I give him a weak thumbs up and smile. When the doctor leaves, Steve, Natasha, Thor, and Bruce all walk in.
"Where's...Rhodey?" I mumble tiredly.
"He went to make a phone call." Natasha replied.
Natasha's at my side immediately, gently brushing my hair back in a way that has me closing my eyes tiredly.
"Just get some sleep. We'll be right here." Natasha assures me.
Normal POV
"So you knew where she was and didn't say anything?"
Steve looks slightly angered as he glances over at the God of Thunder.
"I do not know how to send an email. Dr. Strange had made it clear that you needed what you call a lap of top. Which I do not have access to." Thor replies meekly.
Bruce glances at Thor with confusion and also annoyance.
"Do you even know how an email actually works?" Bruce mutters.
Bruce shakes his head before turning to Steve looking slightly peeved, it was understandable to be during times such as these.
"Listen Steve, a lot has happened in Thor's absence. I think it's safe to assume that he didn't even know what was going on when Tyra went missing again." Bruce gives Steve a knowing look.
Steve lets out a sigh and gives Thor an apologetic look.
"Plus, when I was at the Sanctum, Tony didn't really seem all that worried. So I think he already knew that Tyra was okay somehow. She must have sent him something." Bruce adds. "Since you two clearly weren't on the best of terms, I doubt he was going to tell you anything with the little phone you gave him. Especially when he failed to call you."
"Tyra sent Tony and Pepper a letter."
Everyone looks to the doorway and sees Rhodey with a cellphone in hand. An indication that he'd just got off of the phone.
"It was left with no return address, but she explained that she was being mentored by someone and couldn't return for reasons she couldn't speak of." Rhodey clarified.
"And it had to do with this Dr. Strange guy and helping locate Odin." Natasha put the pieces together. "So Tyra shacked up with a wizard, huh? Wasn't really expecting that, but I can tell there's more to it."
"Do you really have to say it like that?" Steve blushes.
"Sorry." Natasha averts her gaze. "Look Rogers...I know she'll tell you everything you want to know. She still cares about your friendship more than anything."
"I can tell she's gotten more powerful than the last time we met." Thor mumbles with certainty. "The sorcerer must have given her a great deal of knowledge during her stay at the Sanctum."
"Well her newly found skill set will be more than useful." Natasha adds.
"You're not thinking of going after Thanos are you? After all of that?" Rhodey looks at them in surprise.
"You know that we have to. Tyra knows so much more, she has to know what happened and how to fix it. She basically implied it."
"Well that's good and everything, but let's save that for after Tyra wakes up and recovers, huh?" Bruce interjects.
Everyone nods in agreement as their eyes all fall to the youngest Avenger.
6 Hours Later...
In the aftermath of "The Snap", the world was in absolute chaos. So many people were missing, and nations around the entire world were in a state of panic. With my recovery at the medical wing of the base, that feeling I'd had about not feeling whole was something I knew I'd needed to investigate personally myself. When asking the doctor's about my baby's health, they only sounded confused and thought I was delusional from blood loss. That was when I knew that something was wrong.
So the first thing I did when the doctor had left, was go straight down to the lab after summoning a portal. Where, unexpectedly, Rocket Raccoon was. When the creature sees the state of me, he immediately comments on how terrible I look. I conjured a portal with the sling ring and tossed him out of my lab in response.
However, he was insistent and practically refused to leave knowing about the tech that I had in here. So hesitantly, I let him back in and give him access to some of the machinery lying about, but not before laying out some ground rules about being in my lab. Rocket, for the most part, respects my rules being that they're pretty basic. As soon as Rocket is occupied, I set out getting to work and have FRIDAY do some internal scans. I needed answers, and I was desperate for them.
"Miss Stark, Captain Rogers is asking about your whereabouts. Shall I inform him that you are here? He sounded worried." FRIDAY informed me.
I run a hand through my hair and sigh in frustration. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rocket glance at me in curiosity as well as amusement.
"Not now. I need to confirm something. Are the scans done yet?" I impatiently questioned.
"Your internal scans are almost finished processing, although we already have your internal scans from earlier. What shall I tell Captain Rogers?" FRIDAY responds with.
"Tell him I'm in the lab. I don't care." I snapped.
"And I thought Gamora was impatient." Rocket sarcastically comments.
"Well considering I've never met Gamora, I can't really argue with ya there." I rolled my eyes.
"What's so important about these scans anyway?" Rocket gives me a skeptical look. "Are you dyin' or something?"
"I can't really die, furry man." I spit out. "Although with whatever the fuck Thanos did to me with the stones, I can't rule it out quite yet."
I mean unless Thanos somehow defused and got rid of Extremis from my body.
"I believed it best to inform you that Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff are on their way here, Miss Stark." FRIDAY informed me.
I rest my head in my hands, and listen to Rocket tinkering with machinery in the background. I'm brought out of my state of anxiety when FRIDAY spoke up again.
"Scans are complete Miss Stark. Since Extremis has returned to normal, you look perfectly healthy. You should make a full recovery from your injuries in just a matter of hours." FRIDAY spoke.
Okay...so Extremis is back online, for certain this time.
FRIDAY pulls up a holographic projection of my internal scans, and shows me everything section by section. When we get down to my lower belly, I can feel my breath hitch again in complete panic and shock. Any signs of my pregnancy were gone, as if it never existed to begin with. So when I kept complaining to Bruce in Wakanda about not feeling whole after the fight with Thanos, it wasn't false. So, in the aftermath of "The Snap", my baby was gone.
Thanos wiped my unborn child from existence.
"Oh my God." I breathed out. "How is this possible..."
"What's wrong? Your scans look fine for a humie." Rocket shrugs nonchalantly.
"Miss Stark. Dr. Banner is here with Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff. Shall I let them all in?" FRIDAY asked.
I shut off the projections regarding my internal body scans, and toss them away into a holographic trashcan. Rocket looks at me suspiciously as I do this, but doesn't say anything as my companions come into the lab one by one. Steve, Natasha, and Bruce look at me worriedly when they confirm that I'm not in the medical wing, but I can't find myself to care in the slightest. As anxious as I had been about being a mother, I now felt empty and barren inside, numb even.
I found myself numb regarding the current status of my pregnancy, and I just wanted to die right here on the spot. I hadn't even been a mother for that long, and I already felt like a failure. My baby, Stephen's baby, was just gone from the snap of Thanos' fingers. Did Stephen know that this would happen? Or did he just know of my pregnancy?
"Tyra. Are you even listening to us?" Bruce nearly shouted.
I glance up at Bruce through tear-filled eyes, and find myself at a loss of words. Immediately, Natasha picks up on my reactions, and knows that something is seriously wrong. She's the first not to scold me regarding my physical health as she moves to stand next to me.
"Are...are you okay?" Natasha cautiously asked.
I don't react even as Natasha kneels down until we're at eye level.
"Everyone leave." Natasha ordered.
Steve and Bruce glance at each other nervously, before they look towards Rocket expectantly. The creature rolls his eyes and lets out a deep sigh, but reluctantly complies as he follows the two men out of the lab. FRIDAY seems to sense that this is a private conversation and locks the entryway down.
"Look at me, Stark. Tell me what's wrong."
I merely just shake my head, and refuse to speak, afraid that I'll break down completely if I do. It was just hard to process all of this to begin with. I'd barely come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant, and because of Thanos, it was over just like that. I didn't get a say in anything, it'd just happened all on its own. It was completely heartbreaking, and terrifying to think about all at once.
"Tyra. You're starting to scare me." Natasha muttered worriedly. "Please, just...talk to me."
Finally, I gather the strength to look at Natasha, and her eyes widen slightly as I do this. Maybe there's something in my eyes that's just full of despair, but I wasn't truly able to tell what she was able to witness from just looking straight into my eyes.
"You're not...dying, are you?" She hesitantly spoke.
Honestly, it actually felt like part of me did die.
"...no." I barely utter.
"Tell me what's wrong. Please."
Natasha sounds almost desperate, and it's probably the first time in all the years that I've known her that she looks genuinely scared. When my body begins to shake from the sheer anxiety and dread I currently feel, I find myself craving something, although I can't figure out what. So I just blurt out the first damn thing that comes to my mind.
"I need a drink." I breathed out.
As I move to stand up, Natasha takes a hold of my wrist and stares at me with such intensity that suggests she's probably about to argue or try to talk some sense into me.
"Then, I'm going with you."
At Natasha's statement, I'm thrown by surprise although my expression remains neutral and blank. It wasn't a firm, "No, don't even think about it," or anything that I would normally expect from the assassin. Reluctantly, I give her a nod of agreement and together, we walk out of the lab together. Bruce and Steve are waiting just outside and look at Rocket annoyingly as he continues to yammer on about something. They all pause in their conversation upon seeing Natasha and I together.
"We're going to get some drinks. Don't wait up." Natasha said.
"Is that really a good idea right now?" Bruce raised an eyebrow.
"What? Afraid that these two broads will drink ya under the table?" Rocket smirked.
Bruce just gives Rocket a blank stare, and not having known the creature for long, I can tell he's uncomfortable around him.
"That is the last thing I'm worried about." Bruce scoffed.
"Well, these ladies have the right idea right now." Rocket's smirk fades. "I think I'm gonna join them."
Natasha and I don't object as Rocket follows us. Again, I'm reminded that he's the sole survivor amongst the Guardians of the Galaxy, and feel saddened at this.
Surprisingly, Bruce and Steve join us as we go up to the mini bar in the lounge area. There's a small bar set up in the corner of the room, and I don't waste anytime before going straight for the whiskey. I pour everyone a glass before downing my own in under ten seconds flat. Minutes pass as we all share the bottle of whiskey, and despite the fact that Steve and I can't truly get drunk due to our fast-acting metabolisms, we continue to drink as if testing our limits. I can only feel myself get slightly buzzed, but I'm hoping to beat my metabolism since Extremis hasn't fully fixed itself just yet.
"So wha' has y' so...upset?" Rocket slurred.
"I think the better question is, what doesn't have me upset?" I mumbled in reply.
"You're not wrong." Bruce joins in.
"Well...where do I begin? I...fell in love with someone I probably shouldn't have. And he's gone now. He just...he accepted his fate and honestly is more noble than I originally thought." I shake my head angrily.
"You mean Dr. Strange?" Bruce raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah." I sighed.
"So what's the story with that?" Natasha asked. "You said he saved you because he needed you..."
"Which is correct." I simply nod.
"So...how'd you two end up...?" Natasha looks at me confusedly.
"Well...it wasn't intentional. When we first met, I bet you can imagine how I reacted. I was delirious from whatever Zemo injected me with, he said it was enough to kill an elephant or something. So, I was scared, acted like an injured animal that was about to be put down." I chuckled bitterly. "So he uses this random spell to basically...gain my trust. To show me that he had no ill intentions."
I can't help but chuckle as I down the rest of my whiskey.
"A spell?" Bruce snorted. "What kind of spell?"
"He said it was an ancient spell he'd learned that very same day he saved me from Zemo, but he basically gave me a part of his soul, a glimpse into it so to speak. Exhaled his spirit and soul, his very essence and being, right into me, and I swear it's not as dirty as it sounds. It was really fucking weird and trippy as all hell but it did the trick. I was shown everything there was to know about Stephen Vincent Strange. Every single memory he'd ever had all from his perspective. It helped me...understand him more as well as know him. I'd gotten to know a person almost too intimately in the span of five minutes or less."
Rocket looks completely interested as he takes a sip of his drink, his eyes never leaving mine as his furry eyebrow raises questioningly. I couldn't help but think how humorous Rocket's expression seemed at this very moment.
"Keep goin'..." Rocket gestured for me to continue.
I take another swig of my drink as I delve further into my memories, seeing every moment in my mind in vivid detail like an old home movie. I didn't think I could miss anyone so much, but as cheesy as it sounded coming from me, Stephen was someone special. Of course he was special, he became someone I grew to love. That knew all of my deepest fears, that knew my habits, who knew how to calm me down, who knew my favorite food or my choices in music. Stephen became everything to me in just a little under two years. Clearly...otherwise I wouldn't have fucking given my virginity to him.
Okay, getting off track here...just...let it out. They're all staring at you, Tyra...
"Despite helping Stephen in his goals to find Thor's father Odin, I'd still felt like a failure. I'd kept replaying everything in my mind. Everything that led up to Germany and everything that happened afterward...our friends being split down the middle, Rhodey's injury, the Avengers ultimately being broken, Loki having some sort of mental connection with me, and that's a whole other story entirely..." I stammered.
Steve nods in understanding as we make eye contact at that last part of my statement. It was amazing that Steve had managed to figure it out at all if I was being honest. I can feel my heart hammering in my chest as I begin to grow frantic and upset, as if I'm reliving each memory right at this moment, and I could already feel myself blinking away tears. I grasp my cup tightly, unaware that it was already beginning to crack.
"I felt like a fuck up. I just...I wanted someone to understand my frustrations. So using the very same knowledge that I gained from Stephen, I performed the same spell on him. And...holy shit. It was...intense." I breathed out. "But he knew everything there was to know about me and my life. Finally...someone understood."
"And what happened afterward?" Steve hesitantly asked.
I felt my heart skip a beat as Steve places his hand on top of mine in comfort. I didn't think I'd deserved comfort from him.
"And then, things just escalated between the two of us in regards to our relationship. At first it was purely professional, but then...since we bared our souls to each other...it just became something more, without either of us realizing it. We ended up falling for each other. Hard." I told him. "With Stephen's help, I'd learned so much in the two years we spent together. Including things about myself, and about my mother's lineage. I finally gained control of my premonitions. I could control them at will now. Stephen helped me realize my potential in the mystic arts. I felt at peace with myself for the first time in my life..."
"I'm glad..." Steve mumbled.
"It wasn't until the weeks following up to Thanos...that...I was sick." I hesitantly mentioned. "And after the fight with Thanos on Planet Titan...I...I found out that I was...pregnant. Although somehow, Stephen was the one to figure it out first."
Everyone's eyes widen drastically as they take in this bit of information, but they continue to listen regardless. Instinctively, my hand gently grazes my stomach, where my small baby bump should have been. The lingering question of why Thanos didn't kill me, if he knew that he'd killed my child, it all kept coming back to the surface. I hear another crack in the glass I'm holding, and the noise is enough that I'm brought back to reality once again.
"But...it's gone." My voice shakes. "L- -like it was wiped from existence...because of Thanos. And I had felt like part of me was missing after he snapped his fingers with the gauntlet, but I just...I didn't realize what it meant until now." I confessed.
Bruce looks at me with wide eyes full of complete sympathy, and for some reason, it makes me feel worse.
"And I feel like absolute shit because the worst thing about this is, is that I'm partially relieved. But then, I feel like part of me is gone. And that feeling of failure when someone died on my watch...it just came back to me in waves, and I just couldn't stop it this time. It was Coulson, then Thor's mother Frigga, and Loki, and then...Pietro...it felt like that. It felt just like that devastation, but ultimately ten times worse because it was my own...m- -my own..." I spluttered.
Jesus...I just...I wanna die.
Before I can continue to ramble or break down completely, I hear the scraping of a chair against the floor as someone moves over. First, it's Natasha that comes over to hug me, and then, it's Bruce. Steve looks at me with a tearful gaze, but his grasp on my hand tightens.
"Well...well shit." Rocket breathes out. "I mean, I don't uh...do hugs or nothin', but my condolences?"
Everyone pauses as they move away from me and look at Rocket almost incredulously as if saying, "Why the fuck would you even say that?" I don't react as Bruce and Natasha continue to hug me, and glance over at Rocket Raccoon from the corner of my eye as I continue to face forward.
"Same to you." I merely reply.
Rocket gives me a thankful nod and downs the rest of his glass. As Bruce and Natasha pull away, I grab the rest of the bottle and move to pour it into my slightly cracked glass cup. Steve gently grabs my wrist to stop me.
"I don't think drinking is going to solve anything."
This is the last thing I need from you Steve...
"Steve, I love you a lot, but remove your hand. Right. Now." I nearly growled.
Steve's eyes widen slightly, and this time, he complies and withdraws his hand.
"Tyra. He's right...just don't overdo it. Extremis is trying to correct itself in your body, it needs time." Bruce warned me.
"Well I haven't really been able to get properly shitfaced in years since I was subjected to this thing by Killian, so I'm taking advantage of the opportunity." I shrugged uncaringly.
Reluctantly, Bruce nods and steps back. I think that he could tell that I was not in the mood for this type of scolding.
"Well, you'll need a drinking buddy then." Natasha said.
Natasha gets back into the stool beside me and gives Bruce and Steve a nod.
"I don't mean to boast or nothin', but I've gotta pretty good tolerance." Rocket smirked.
I can't help but return the smirk, feeling all too refreshed from Rocket Raccoon's nonchalant behavior. Like he simply didn't give a shit about anything anymore. It was certainly interesting, but I found myself liking it.
"We'll see about that. You haven't met a Stark." I retort.
Three Days Later...
It's a complete bummer when Extremis comes back in full swing hours after our return from Wakanda, considering I'd enjoyed blacking out from alcohol. My injuries from the fight against Thanos on both Planet Titan and Wakanda had fully healed in the matter of hours. I'd tried since then, to think about the more important things in an attempt to distract myself from my darkest thoughts. Although I'd never admit it, Rocket had grown on me in the short amount of time we'd known each other.
Based off of my visions of the fight, I knew my father was trapped on Planet Titan after the fight against Thanos. The only one that was there with him had been Gamora's sister Nebula. My priority right now, was to save my father, considering his huge role in the defeat of Thanos. Honestly the thought had crossed my mind briefly, but in all the people that we had lost because of the snap, only the original Avengers seemed to remain. I wondered if it was coincidence, or perhaps it was something more, like a twist of fate.
Although there haven't been any signs of Clint...I'll have to start looking for him.
"Tyra?"
My eyes widen when I see Rhodey standing at the entrance to the lab, where I'd been holing myself up since my return from Wakanda. Rocket pauses in his work and looks at me with uncertainty, and I just give him a curt nod before he resumes working on an unknown device. I get up and grab a random towel as I wipe grease and sweat off of my face and arms before tossing it aside. By the time I get over to Rhodey, I see Pepper standing right beside him and feel my breath caught in my throat.
Pepper gives me a smile as her eyes glisten with unshed tears, and I can't help but return the same expression as I slowly inch closer. Before Pepper can say a word, I just shake my head and pull her in for a hug. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed Virginia Potts so much until now if I was being honest. Pepper looked just as miserable and upset as I currently am, but she still holds her head high.
"How have you been, Pepsi?" I chuckle breathlessly.
Pepper pulls back and shakes her head.
"I've been better." Pepper merely replies.
I can tell that she misses my father beyond words can express, and that she had so many questions. The last thing I want to do is make this worse for her, so I don't say anything else. Mostly because I understand from experience how terrible all of this is.
"Wanna get lunch?" Pepper asked.
I nod as I hear my stomach growl lowly. Pepper can't help but chuckle softly from the sound.
"I'll take that as a yes." Pepper mutters. "Go get a shower. I'll see what businesses are still open right now."
Right...Thanos and the...snap...half of the universe being wiped out...I didn't even think about that.
As soon as I clean myself up properly, Pepper and I eventually decide on an old diner with only but a few employees left in the establishment. As Pepper and I mainly do small talk, I notice the change in security personnel that escorted us here and stood watch from outside the restaurant. I can't help but wonder where Happy is, but I'm too afraid to ask Pepper if he survived "the snap." I wasn't sure if I could handle more bad news right now, I was too disheartened over my pregnancy, or lack thereof. I barely got sleep unless I worked beyond exhaustion in the lab, and even then, I'd be asleep for a good three to four hours.
"Excuse me?"
"I need to know...if you saw him." Pepper grew serious. "Your father went through a portal that appeared in the middle of Central Park with Bruce and that neurosurgeon Doctor Strange. He just...he was gone. Just like that. He looked shaken up when Bruce hugged him..." Pepper's voice shook.
I put down my drink and look at Pepper in surprise. Pepper's face appeared neutral, but in her tone, she sounded absolutely distressed and worried about my father. She only wanted answers, but I wasn't entirely sure where to begin without losing her entirely. Despite not being new to the craziness my father and I had been exposed to after his return from Afghanistan, Pepper was still only human, and there was so much this woman could handle. Pepper was strong, she rarely wavered from a challenge with my father as a primary example, but...
"You mean Rhodey didn't tell you anything?" I raised an eyebrow.
"He didn't give me many details. He just told me to ask you." Pepper responded.
"Oh wow. Okay..." I shake my head before glancing back over at her. "Well yeah...I saw dad. I was with him before things went to shit. Are you sure you wanna hear all this?"
"Tyra, I just need to know that he's okay. And I need to know that you're okay." Pepper finally blinked away tears.
With that heartbroken expression on Pepper's face, I can't help but comply. I try to fill in the gaps to the best of my ability, and all Pepper can do is sit there silently and nod as she tries to follow along. It's plain as day that Pepper is struggling to understand it all completely, but she doesn't waver at all. She just puts her hand on top of mine as I talk, her eyes never leaving mine as I recall in excruciating detail what occurred near the Sanctum as well as Planet Titan.
"Now...what about you?" Pepper questioned.
"Excuse me?" I look at her in surprise.
"Your uncle has me concerned from some of the things he's told me. How are you doing?"
"Oh yeah? What has Rhodes told you? I haven't even told him everything yet." I grumbled before adding, "I'm getting to it..."
"You don't give him enough credit, Tye. He's kept close tabs on you since you guys returned from Wakanda. He knows about your...pregnancy." Pepper mutters.
"Sounds like you already know everything then." I shrug. "I'm not going into detail about it again. I'm not pregnant anymore. Thanos snapped my baby out of existence. End of story."
I can feel my hand clench into a tight fist underneath Pepper's own hand.
"Don't shut me out...please." Pepper barely uttered.
I glance down at our intertwined hands and sigh deeply.
She still knows me so well even after how much time has passed.
For the next several minutes, we're both sitting at the booth in complete and total silence. Despite the diner being mostly vacant with the exception of a few customers, it's really quiet inside. I can hear an old jukebox playing an iconic song from Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody. The melody of the piano followed by Freddie's voice resonating powerfully yet softly. The beautiful song is bringing back a memory of my father driving me around in a Ferrari as the two of us sang along together. I believe I was only seven years old at the time.
Life was so nice back then, so...easy.
Maybe it's because I'm now feeling sentimental over a fucking song, but I can't help but soften up as I hum along with the soft melody. Pepper looks at me in confusion at first, as I reach over for her hand and gently drum my fingers along her skin to the notes of the piano. I couldn't help but think of the fact that music was one of the many things that helped Stephen and I bond. It was one of my father's favorite things aside from his work, and he opened up a world for me with his love for rock and roll.
"It's a powerful song, right? I just heard that there's gonna be a movie about Freddie Mercury and Queen...it looked really good." I mumble gently. "I saw the trailer they released recently...it's coming out soon. Unless the snap delayed the production..."
Pepper doesn't say anything at first as she nods in response.
"Yeah...it looked really good." Pepper chose her words carefully.
"Dad loved Queen a lot...he'd always play their albums whenever he took a break from ACDC or Led Zepplin. It was another go-to of his for music selection. But...I remember the first time he put on this song. I was just a little kid and we were going for a joyride in his Ferrari, but...the lyrics...they were so sad...I didn't understand the meaning behind it. But now? Now it's more clear." I muttered.
~I don't wanna dieeee, sometimes I'd wish I'd never been born at all~
Oh you have no idea...
Pepper's breath hitches as I make eye contact with her, and almost exactly like Natasha, there's something in my eyes that tells her another story. She only appears more worried than before, unknowing of how to help me. I didn't think there was anything that could help me right at this moment. The only I could do for Pepper was be honest, and so I did, even if it was a little brutal.
"I'm trying to keep a level head...t- -to keep everything together." I told her. "But I feel like I wanna die sometimes, and I'm having a hard time just...processing ll of this...and then I'm reminded that I- -I still have a job to do. Until Thanos is brought to justice and until we save the universe, I can't kick the bucket just yet. Especially knowing that my father is out there in space somewhere."
Pepper's eyes bore into mine, shimmering with unshed tears.
"I'd just found out I was pregnant and then...it was taken away from me. I was scared about the pregnancy sure, but...I didn't get a choice. Out of all the deaths I'm responsible for, this one hurt the most. But you know what? I'll be okay. I have to be okay. For everyone." I confessed.
Pepper scoots out of her seat in the booth, before coming over to the other side and sitting with me. She just pulls me in, and I lay my head on her chest before I can hear her fast heartbeat. Pepper was anxious, upset, and concerned, but she still held her head high. She always held her head high, she always got back up. Virginia Potts just didn't quit.
Why was she even here with me knowing that I left my father on an unknown planet? I didn't deserve someone like her after everything that happened. How could she forgive me so easily after all this time? How was Pepper such an amazing human being? Instead of saying something cliché along the lines of, "Everything's gonna be okay. We'll get through this." She just holds me against her, petting my hair consolingly.
"It's okay to be upset...no one would blame you." Pepper spoke up.
"...it's just so sudden. All of this...it happened so fast. One minute, I was experiencing morning sickness and had no idea why I was so sick...the next thing I know, I'm learning of my pregnancy in the midst of a battle and...and then it's just over...just like that. And I don't...I don't understand it all. Stephen had a way of explaining things to me, just like you and dad did." I blurt out. "But Stephen's gone right now..."
"Right..."
As the operatic section of Bohemian Rhapsody grows louder in the diner, I sit up and get off of Pepper. I can't help but feel antsy and anxious as I remove myself off of her. Again, she looks concerned as I hop right out of booth after getting around her. As the waitress comes with our check, I merely stop her and give her five crisp hundred dollar bills. She looks at me with wide eyes, but mutters in Spanish and gives me a grateful nod as she backs away slowly.
I sway to the music and twirl as the song really picks up to its climax, making my way over to the jukebox and glancing at the vinyl spinning inside. The jukebox was in relatively good condition, and I suddenly have the strongest urge to take it apart and learn its parts. However, I'm snapped out of my thoughts as Pepper makes her way over, a firm hand on my shoulder. Pepper's expression is full of concern, probably regarding my sanity at this point, but I can't find myself to care.
"Tyra. Come on- -"
"Hold on." I shushed her.
~Nothing really matters, anyone can seeeee. Nothing really matters...nothing really matters to meeeee…..~
I smile sadly and stare down at the jukebox almost longingly.
Note to self: Buy an old vintage jukebox with a shit ton of vinyl records.
"He's got such a powerful voice huh? Even decades after his death." I thought aloud.
Pepper waits patiently as the song finally concludes before she's gently grasping my hand and pulling me away. Eventually, we make our way out of the diner, and security is on our tails as people try to rush towards us. It was the one thing I didn't miss while I was away: the paparazzi. When we get into the car together, Pepper mumbles an address to the driver before the car starts moving. She doesn't say anything else to me, although I know in her expression, that she really wants to.
Again, I go back to what I used to know. It was almost too easy to fall back into the habit of tinkering with machinery and such. It was my coping mechanism as Stephen was able to assess hours after I'd used that 'soul connection' spell on him, and Stephen wasn't wrong either. It was a coping mechanism just like drawing and painting was.
However, this time, my time spent in the workshop was used productively to figure out the device that was found with Nick Fury's belongings. It looked remarkably similar to a pager. Although, none of us recognized the symbol that was displaying on the small screen. During the weeks that had passed almost agonizingly slow, Rocket became someone I confided in, and while he pretended not to care, I knew that he was always listening.
I returned the favor whenever he just felt like yapping away mindlessly. For the most part, I tried my best to keep my emotions in check, and distracted myself most days and nights. Sometimes when I wasn't in the workshop as rare as it had been, I found myself trying to study and practice the mystic arts, using Stephen's own knowledge on the various subjects I had yet to test physically. On those restless nights, I would practice in a gym in the base and push myself to the limit. I would work out to keep up my physical strength, and also came up with a way to strengthen my magic.
"Holy shit."
I stop my meditation and slowly lower myself to the floor as I stop levitating. Rocket folds his arms and gives me a smirk.
"Oh don't mind me, I'm just watchin'. You were practically a floating red lightbulb." Rocket teased.
"Are you talking about Extremis? It was acting up?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. The Extremis thing..." Rocket shrugs. "Yer damn AI wouldn't let me read those documents. Apparently it's all classified information." He mocks FRIDAY.
Okay then? I mean, honestly I didn't know I glowed while meditating. Did Stephen know?
"Before you bother askin' what I'm here for, yer buddy Steve was wonderin' where you got to. I told him to fuck off." Rocket told me with a straight face.
I give Rocket a heated glare, to which he laughs at hysterically. He calms down after a minute, wiping a tear from his eye as he shifts slightly and leans against the doorway.
"Relax, doll-face. I'm only jokin' about the last part. I told him I didn't know where the hell ya were." Rocket said. "I got curious myself an' went lookin' for ya."
I visibly relax and shake my head as I fight back the urge to smile. Rocket notices immediately and his grin grows.
"Oh, liked that, did ya? I mean, I could always tell him to fuck off for real if that interests you." Rocket joked.
"Please don't." I told him. "Did he say what he wanted?"
"Nah, he wouldn't say." Rocket's smile falters.
Okay then...
At the look on my face, Rocket sighs loudly and dramatically.
"Okay, I've gotta know, were you two fuckbuddies or somethin' before you stayed at that Sanctum place?" Rocket blurted out. "You two have been skirtin' around each other, and everyone knows it."
My eyes widened at Rocket's crude question, and I can already feel my face heat up.
"I- -we uh- -but I was- -!" I stuttered.
Rocket starts to smirk again at my hesitation.
"Oh shut up, trash panda." I snapped.
Despite being referred by that nickname Quill gave to him, Rocket knows I'm trying to avoid the question and surprisingly doesn't take the bait.
"Yer not denying it..." Rocket sang.
"Okay! For fucks sake! No we didn't...you know..." I then lower my voice. "But we have history. Steve has always been a good friend and we got really close, but then...then we got separated so things never really became definitive or went any further and...yeah. Then I met Stephen..."
I feel my face burn as I avert my gaze from Rocket. To my surprise, Rocket doesn't laugh or poke anymore fun at me.
"You still like him, don't you?" Rocket mutters. "I say you should talk to him...unless yer too chickenshit for that. I mean, I would hardly blame ya. I'd be weird about it too- -"
"I get it." I cut him off with a smile.
Rocket looks surprisingly adorable as his ears perk up and he looks, dare I say, flustered although I don't know why exactly. Rocket immediately stands up taller as he adjusts his clothing, and turns towards the door.
"I'll leave you to yer devices then." Rocket said. "Have fun bein' a glowstick."
Rocket leaves then before I can object or say anything else, but I let him go.
Rocket, I swear...
I pick myself up from the floor and stand before making my way to the punching bag and grab something to wrap my knuckles. Before I move to punch, I pause and think about what Rocket says.
"FRIDAY?" I spoke up.
"Yeah, boss?" FRIDAY responds.
Huh, that's the first time she's ever referred to me as that, she usually calls my dad that...
"Tell Steve that if he's still looking for me, that I'm in here." I said.
"No need."
I nearly jump out of my skin as I turn towards the doorway to see Steve walking in. Steve doesn't waste anytime as he makes his way over to me.
"FRIDAY told me you were here...and I saw Rocket on my way in." Steve told me. "He gave me this very weird and obvious wink."
Steve gets on the other side of the punching bag, and holds onto it as if to steady it.
"You can keep working out if you'd like. I'll hold it for you. Wouldn't want you to break the chain holding it." Steve teased lightly.
"Oh ha ha..." I roll my eyes playfully.
I start punching, going lightly at first and holding back my strength before Steve interrupts.
"Don't start holding back now. I know you can hit harder than that." Steve gives me a knowing look.
"Just tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?" I asked.
"Yeah." Steve nods.
I start punching harder than I did previously, but still try to refrain from using all my strength. It's almost as if the past two years haven't happened as we relax with each other like we used to. It made me realize how much I truly missed Steve. He was basically my best friend before everything that occurred in the old HYDRA base in Siberia. As much I wanted to contact Steve, I honestly had no way of doing so since I didn't possess the technology to locate him from the Sanctum. It was something that kept haunting me during my stay at the Sanctum as well, the lingering question of what would have happened if Steve and I had managed to remain in contact.
I've gotta focus.
"So what did you want to talk about?" I pant lightly.
Steve glances over at me with widened eyes before he responds.
"I was going to ask you if you'd had anything to eat."
I pause and look at him in confusion and can't help but let out a breathless chuckle.
"Steve...it's nearly 2 in the morning..." I said.
"Your point? There's always McDonald's." Steve's lips quirk up.
I resume punching, nearly catching Steve off guard. Steve still manages to hold his ground and barely budges.
"You got me there." I can't help but smile. "Did you wanna drive?"
"I don't exactly have my old motorcycle on base." Steve pointed out.
"I had it moved here a week ago from storage at a SHIELD facility." I told him. "Sorry, I forgot to tell you. I've been meaning to get around to that, I just keep getting sidetracked and...yeah."
"You got my old bike back?" Steve raised an eyebrow.
"Well yeah, it's yours." I merely replied.
"You didn't tweak with it, did you?" Steve chuckled.
"As tempted as I was, I managed to refrain myself from doing so." I teased lightly.
"Alright, well do twenty more punches and we can head out." Steve told me.
"Twenty? You better brace yourself then." I smirked.
I move to hit the punching bag harder and faster than before. Keeping up a steady beat as I throw punches swiftly. I don't miss the smirk that graces his lips as my hits become more tough.
Let me know what you guys think. Again, after the next Avengers comes out, I'll make the appropriate changes to this chapter.