A couple timeline notes. Annie's birthday is in October and she did her college courses in 3 years so she would have started at 17 just before she turned 18. She's not perfect, there will be some big challenges coming her way as the story goes on.
Christmas
Teddy and Henry drove down the McKellar's street. They knew Annie had been there for a couple hours from the anxious texts she was sending Teddy. Coming down the street they saw a group of older teens or young adults in the snow. Teddy quickly spotted Annie's red ski coat and recognized the matching hat. The group of young people were having a snowball fight and clumps of snow were being volleyed across the road.
"That's some snowball fight," Henry said.
"They're having fun," Teddy replied.
Henry parked Teddy's car next to a snowdrift and they got out.
"Mama, Henry," Annie yelled across the road.
Teddy spotted the snowball in her hand and the pile on the snow drift beside her, "Annabeth if you throw that snowball, so help me I will get you. And you know my aim is better than yours."
Annie giggled and launched the snowball, it landed on Teddy's boots.
"I didn't hit you," Annie called laughing.
Teddy charged across the snow, but her black leather boots were no match for the ice layer under the fresh powder. Annie launched another snowball. Teddy skidded to the snow drift and laughing took one of Annie's snowballs and lobbed it at Annie. Both were laughing. Brushing the snow off her jacket Annie gave Teddy a hug.
"Are you done with your snowball fight," Teddy asked. The others Annie had been playing with were staring at them.
"I'm getting cold," Annie admitted, "go in and make hot chocolate?"
"Sounds good to me," Henry said.
"Do you need help bringing anything in," Annie asked.
Chris appeared from inside a hollowed out snow drift, "how can I help Auntie Teddy?"
"Why don't Annie and I start hot chocolate and something for lunch while you and Henry unload," Teddy suggested.
"I can do that," Chris said, "you're in the guest room downstairs."
"I thought so," Teddy said. Noticing Henry's smirk Teddy called, "we share the basement with Annie."
"Ok," Henry said, taking Teddy's keys from his pocket and unlocking the car, "Chris why were you in the snow drift?"
"Annie and I hollowed it out to make a couple caves and a tunnel connecting them. I was showing her my survival skills," Chris said, "and she's a sucker for the snow."
"So is Teddy," Henry said.
Inside Annie kicked off her snow boots and wiggled out of her mittens, coat and snow pants. She carried her wet gear to the rack near the fireplace and added another log to the fire. Teddy took in the perfect cozy Christmas scene, a real Christmas tree stood decorated by the window with a wide array of ornaments many appeared to have been made by the kids, the mantle was decorated with evergreen branches, a rack held logs ready for the fire and a basket was filled with kindling. On the floor in front of the fire the dog dozed and the cat lay across the back of a nearby chair. Teddy thought it looked like a painting, especially with the snow drifting down outside.
"What's the plan for tonight," Teddy asked, she had never spent Christmas Eve with the McKellars before.
"You and I are doing a light lunch just soup and sandwiches," Annie said, "then we'll have some down time. Church is at 4:30. I'm dancing in the service, I'm the angel in the nativity scene, Chris is one of the Roman guards. After church we go to uncle Jim's and do Christmas Eve with dad's side, grandmere is from Quebec so we do a French Canadian Christmas Eve with the big feast. After dinner mom will play carols on the piano and we'll all sing, then Santa comes."
"Santa has time to come Christmas Eve," Henry asked.
"He always does," Annie and Chris said.
"He always brings the same Christmas Eve gifts," Chris said.
"What is that," asked Teddy.
"Pyjamas and a new book," Annie said, "for everyone."
Teddy winked at Henry, Leslie had told them about this tradition, Teddy just had to figure out how to smuggle them to Leslie before they went to church. Teddy had also picked up Annie's Christmas Eve book.
"Do I finally get to see you dance," Henry asked.
"I'm the angel in the nativity tonight," Annie said, "i have two dance numbers and a few lines."
"What are you wearing," asked Teddy.
"I have a white romantic tutu with sequins and beads on the bodice so it sparkles, the top layer of the skirt is glitter tule, silver and white wings, ballet tights and my pointe shoes," Annie replied.
"Sounds beautiful," Teddy said, " hair?"
"Half up, half down and I think I'm going to curl it," Annie replied, "we'll see if it will curl I'm not very good at getting my hair to curl."
"If there wasn't so much of it you would find it easier," Teddy said, " but it's the same texture as mine and I curl it most days, I can help you. We have to work with the wave not go against it."
Dan and Leslie walked in with Jessica who had been given a three day break from her program for Christmas.
"Teddy," Leslie called, "it's good to see you."
"Leslie, Dan , Jessica, this is Henry," Teddy introduced.
"It's nice to meet you," Dan said shaking Henry's hand. He had noticed how comfortably the older two had looked with Teddy and Henry. He realized Annie probably knew Henry fairly well and knew Chris liked Teddy.
Jessica stood tentatively in the entryway, her older siblings had what looked like new parents, four parents and she was jealous. Annie had this whole other mom she would never have to share with Jessica.
"I'm hungry," Annie said.
Teddy smiled at that, knowing Annie wasn't a big eater and they had gone through a couple weeks in the summer where she had to be persuaded to eat. Teddy was thankful Evelyn knew how to help Teddy figure it out.
"You said pointe shoes a few minutes ago Annie," Henry said, "what are those?"
Dan answered, "Annie does ballet as well as highland, pointe shoes are what most people would call toe shoes."
"Are you on your toes tonight sweetheart," Teddy asked.
"I am," Annie said, "angles need to float and glide, I can make that illusion on pointe better than flat."
"You must be a good dancer to do that," Henry said.
Leslie bragged, "she finished all of her ballet exams and used to dance with our local youth ballet. She's also been to worlds for highland a few times and Canadian champion 4 times."
Jessica spat, "then she threw away her dance career for a pile of textbooks and an ugly otter printed hat."
"Jess I choose school and the chance at medical school," Annie said, "and I like my otter scrub cap better than mama's birds or Uncle Owen's camouflage. Dr. Shepards ferry boats is pretty cool or Arizona's pink polka dots."
Chris added, "I liked Dr. Torres's bone one."
"Fitting for an orthopaedic surgeon," Teddy agreed.
"Next time I go can I borrow a camouflage one from Uncle Owen," Chris asked, "Annie will be there two and need her otter one."
"We will find one for you," Teddy said, "your coming with Annie over New Years?"
"She's going with you on the 27th," Chris said, "I'm not coming until the 30th and we'll both go back on the 2nd."
"You have your choice of our couch, an air mattress in Annie's room or the spare room at Uncle Owens," Teddy offered, "think and let me know before we go home."
Chris looked at Annie who nodded, "Annie's room or your couch is good."
Henry laughed, "avoiding the formidable Christina Yang?"
"She's a lot," Chris agreed.
"Yang is improving," Teddy said, "there's some humanity in there some where. She just needs more time with Annie and Zola."
"Did Derek and Merideth get to adopt Zola," Annie asked.
"It's in process but it looks good," Teddy said.
"She's adorable," Annie said.
Teddy agreed, "she is and you were a fantastic babysitter."
Jessica looked shocked, Annie had a whole life she couldn't control. There were aunts and uncles in Seattle. Teddy seemed to have a brother named Owen.
Jessica was trying her best to be nice when she asked, "are you close to your brother Teddy?"
"Owen is my best friend and has been since I first got to Iraq," Teddy replied, "I'm an only child. Owen's family adopted me years ago."
"I thought Owen was your brother," Jessica said.
"No, just my best friend," Teddy smiled. She noticed that Jessica was talking to anyone except Annie.
"How formal is tonight," Teddy asked.
"Our church isn't very formal," Leslie said, "then dinner in church clothes."
"Suit and tie here," Henry asked.
"Dress pants, dress shirt and tie," Chris replied.
Annie called, "I'm starting lunch so I have time to eat and get ready before the final run through at 3."
Leslie replied, "I'll do that you get organized. I have chicken and vegetable soup and sandwiches."
"Just soup," Annie said, "and toast."
"Do you need more," asked Teddy.
"Not when I'm wearing a tutu," Annie said, "I'll eat after."
"Annie," teddy questioned.
"Mama I'm fine," Annie said, "I'm going to shower so we have time to dry then curl my hair."
Teddy gave Annie a serious look. Annie knew that face and replied with a thumbs up.
Annie ran down the stairs.
Teddy walked into the kitchen with Leslie , "I have Annie's book for tonight where can I put it?"
"Give it to Chris to run to my room," Leslie replied, "I'll wrap it to match the others."
" already wrapped forwarded me the email about red and white striped paper for the Santa we put the other things we brought under the tree," Teddy asked.
"You can," Leslie said. She looked worried.
"I included all of the kids," Teddy said, "it's not even but we didn't leave anyone out."
Leslie looked surprised, "thank you. You didn't need to do that."
"Christmas is my favorite time of the year," Teddy said, "I have fun with it."
"Annie goes Christmas crazy and the snow this week she's in heaven," Leslie said.
"We drove up to quite the snowball fight," Henry said , "including chris hiding in a snow drift."
"There's a group of them that have always gone sledding and had snow ball fights. They all grew up together," Dan said, "they'll probably try to go sledding tomorrow when there's no cars on the road."
"I'm in for the big hill," Chris said, "can we pull the sled with the atv again?"
"Not going to happen," Teddy said.
"What," asked Chris.
"Do I need to explain the possible traumas from pulling a tobaggan with an atv," Teddy asked.
"We've been through one trauma surgery this year. That's enough for any family," Leslie agreed.
Chris groaned , "double mommed. Not cool auntie teddy."
Jessica came back down stairs, "where's the loser?"
Teddy turned, "its Christmas you need to do 48 hours of being nice to your sister who is in the shower."
Henry asked, "why do you call your sister a loser?"
"She doesn't do anything fun and is always studying," Jessica replied.
Henry responders, "when we got here she was having a snowball fight with her friends, I've seen her have fun when she's in Seattle. And I hear all about the fun things she does at school from Teddy."
"She's a nerd," Jessica said.
"How is that a bad thing," asked Teddy , "Annie is brilliant. But she works really hard. I've never met someone who works that hard."
Annie came back up stairs in yoga pants and a tshirt. Her wet hair hung down her back.
"I know it needs to be dry to curl it but I want to eat first," Annie said.
"When were done lunch I'll do your hair," Teddy said.
"How are you doing your hair for tonight," Leslie asked.
"Half up and curled," Annie replied.
"You don't want a bun," Leslie asked, "it's easier."
"Too serious for a Christmas angel," Annie said, "plus all of the little angles are doing half up I should match."
"Did you get the angle solo again," Jessica asked.
"Unfortunately," Annie replied , "it's getting kind of old. I've done it every year since I was 12 I was hoping to get out of it."
"You won't be here next year to rehearse," Teddy pointed out.
"I'll let them know this is my last year of this," Annie said.
Leslie and Teddy looked at each other puzzled, they noticed Annie was hardly eating just playing with the soup in her bowl.
"Annie you need to eat to have the energy to perform tonight," Leslie said.
"I'm not really hungry," Annie said.
Teddy gave her a serious look, "you need to at least eat the chicken and veggies in your soup. You need energy to dance."
"I'm in a tutu that was bought when I was 14," Annie said.
"Why does that matter," asked Teddy.
"Because it's made for a little kid," Annie snapped.
"Why didn't you let me know weeks ago it doesn't fit," Leslie said.
"It fits but I look like a baby," Annie said.
"Then why aren't you eating," Teddy questioned.
"Just not hungry anymore," Annie replied.
"You need to eat," Dan said.
"Fine," Annie huffed. She sulked while she finished half of her soup. She hated eating when people were watching. Annie scurried downstairs as soon as her bowl was in the dishwasher.
Teddy followed Annie a few minutes later. Annie was standing in front of the mirror in her yoga pants and a white leotard. Teddy had to work to keep her face neutral when she saw Annie's back. She could have counted every rib and vertebrae. Annie had always been slim but since her birthday had become even more so. Teddy paused and took a deep breath. She was putting things together Annie not being hungry, she had been tired lately when they had talked and now she could see every rib. Teddy was worried but decided to watch for a few days and see what happened. She knew Annie had been struggling to accept the appearance of her scar but was now wondering if she was struggling with her body image in general. This was going beyond athletic dancer to a worrying level of thin. Teddy hoped she wasn't too late in noticing.
"What are you doing," Teddy asked.
"Just got all the tangles out so now I need to dry my hair," Annie replied.
"I'm going to get cleaned up. I wouldn't mind coming to rehearsal with you," Teddy said.
"You don't need to do that," Annie replied.
"Henry can get a ride with your parents," Teddy said.
"Ride," Annie replied, "it's only 3 blocks we'll walk."
"No heels then," Teddy said.
"Not a good idea," Annie replied.
"What are you wearing to church and dinner tonight," asked Teddy.
"It's on my bed," Annie replied.
"Why are you grumpy with me today," Teddy asked.
"You keep staring at my back," Annie replied, "and trying to make me eat."
"Do you not want me to," Teddy asked.
"Not with the dr face," Annie replied, "you use that face when you don't like what you see or hear from a patient."
"Just noticing that I can see all of your ribs," Teddy said.
"I haven't been hungry since the dr changed my thyroid medication," Annie replied.
"Did they up the dose," Teddy asked.
"A little," Annie confirmed.
"It's probably too high," Teddy said, "easy fix."
"But I kind of like the side effect," Annie said.
"What do you mean," Teddy asked.
"I don't have to worry as much about my weight," Annie whispered, "I know what my disease can do and I won't let it happen to me."
"You have to nourish your body," Teddy said, "why do you want to lose weight?"
"So I can look like the other girls on the dance team. I'm shorter so I look fatter," Annie said.
"I've seen your team," Teddy said, "you were one of the few I thought looked great."
Annie began to cry, "you have to say that."
"I never lie to you," Teddy soothed, "you have to eat though. We can come up with a healthier plan."
"I just want to look like Jessie," Annie sobbed.
"Jessie isn't any smaller than you," Teddy said, "you have a lot of muscle to be able to do what you do in the studio. You know you get chosen for lifts and leads because you're strong and have the stamina to do it."
"but I want to look like the other girls," Annie cried, "skinny, no scars, actually have colour. I'm almost the colour of paper."
"I don't tan much either," Teddy said, "right now we're going to put this discussion on hold for a few days. I want you to think about what I said and why you're pushing yourself like this."
"Okay," Annie replied, "I really don't want to talk about this at all."
"If you won't talk to me will you talk to your counselor," Teddy asked.
"I'll think about it," Annie replied.
"Okay," Teddy said , "we're going to be late. Dry your hair and get it pulled back how you want it so I can curl it."
Annie nodded and took the blow dryer out of the drawer. Teddy walked into the guest room and laid her and Henry's clothes for that night on the bed. What Annie had just told her was worrying. She knew there was something more Annie wasn't saying.
When the blow dryer turned off Teddy walked back to the bathroom, "ready?"
"Curling iron is still heating," Annie said, "I'm going to do my makeup."
"Full dance makeup," asked Teddy.
"Almost," Annie replied , "no lipstick. Just gloss."
"I didn't mean to upset you," Teddy whispered, "I was worried."
"I understand," Annie replied , "but I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. You're probably right they over adjusted my medication and it's messing with me."
Teddy nodded, "I hope so."
"Can we drop this now," Annie asked.
"We can," Teddy replied, "but I will be watching."
Annie nodded.
Teddy helped Annie to curl her hair. Annie slipped a sweater over her leotard and hung her outfit and costume in a garment bag. She carried everything upstairs.
Henry came down and asked, "is she okay. There's something off today."
Teddy shook her head, "she's not eating and I just saw her in a leotard, I could count every rib."
"What could it be," Henry asked.
"Best case the adjustment in her medication was wrong and we lower the dose she'll be fine. Worst case it's some sort of eating disorder or body image issues," Teddy said.
"How do we figure it out," Henry asked.
"We watch, wait and talk to her," Teddy said, "let her come to someone she trusts. She'll probably come to me when she's ready."
"That's all we can do," Henry asked.
"She's 20," Teddy said, "we can't make the decisions because she's an adult. She's made good decisions so far so I'm going to hope she asks for help if she needs it."
Teddy wrapped her arms around Henry and laid her head on his shoulder, she was about to cry, something had felt wrong the last few times they had talked on skype but Teddy had assumed school stress, finals or having to see Jessica. Teddy buried her face in Henry's neck and he gently rubbed her back.
Henry whispered, "no tears honey, she's okay. We're celebrating Christmas with your daughter for the first time. It's your first Christmas with Annie."
Teddy nodded, "I know and I'm destroying it."
"You're being a mom," Henry said, "I like that side of you. It's hot."
"Not here," Teddy laughed.
"Annie is gone," Henry said.
"And her siblings are here and her parents," Teddy said.
"She's coming home with us," Henry said.
"With her brother on the 27th, we go home on the 26th," Teddy giggled.
"I'm still going to kiss you," Henry said.
Annie walked into the church and hung her garment bag in the sunday school classroom the older girls and young women were using to get ready. She walked to the sanctuary and took a seat with the rest of the cast. They listened to the pastor go over the cues and began to walk though the order of the service that night. With half an hour to the service starting and doors about to open Annie went to put on her costume. She texted Teddy to come help her with the back.
Teddy found the Sunday school room and saw Annie standing in her tutu with the back open. There were 4 columns of hooks on the back of the bodice each set an inch apart going up Annie's back. Teddy asked, "how do you want me to do this?"
"Start at the bottom and go as tight as you can," Annie replied, "tutus have to be snug to look good."
"Can you breath if I do the last set of hooks," Teddy asked.
"Try the second to last set," Annie said, "I haven't used the tightest since I was 14."
Teddy began to hook up the bodice, "all the way up now? It's snug."
"There's only like 10 minutes until I need to be side stage and you should go rescue Henry from my siblings," Annie said.
"Are you sure," Teddy asked, "it's going to be snug."
"Mama," Annie replied, "I know how my tutu fits. It's snugger than my highland costumes."
"All done," Teddy said, "I'm going to go find my seat. Break a leg."
Annie held out her pinkie Teddy knew the response and shook pinkies with her.
Teddy left the room and found the rest of the family; she slipped into the seat next to Henry, she grabbed his hand. Teddy looked around the church, it was filled with families, the front of the stage was decorated with poinsettias and a manger had been set up on one side of the stage. A girl about Annie's age stepped onto the stage with a violin and began to play. Slowly other instruments joined in playing a familiar carroll. Then Annie floated across the stage pausing beside the band. Other characters in the story joined the cast on stage. The service was beautiful and joyful. Teddy hadn't seen Annie do ballet before and was proud of the beautiful way she told the story with her movements. Annie floated and leapt across the stage.
After the service Leslie came to help Annie with the back of her tutu, "you were beautiful sweetheart."
"Thanks mom," Annie replied.
Annie changed into her regular clothes and hung the tutu in her garment bag. She met her family in the lobby of the church.
"Well done kiddo," Henry said.
"Thanks," Annie replied.
The family walked home. Annie hung her garment bag in the hall closet to deal with later and got in the car with Teddy and Henry. Annie gave them the directions to her aunt and uncle's house. They met the rest of the family on the porch and all went in together. It was like the other family events Teddy had been to, lots of people, music and laughter. The counter and table were piled with food. This time with Jessica back Annie was staying closer to Teddy.
"Go hang out with your cousins," Teddy said, "we're fine."
"I don't fit in here," Annie said.
"Annie, go hang out with your cousins," Teddy said, "you're fine."
Annie shyly wandered towards a group of cousins. They opened the circle for her to join the conversation. As soon as Annie had joined the group Jessica walked over and edged Annie out of the circle. Annie found another group to chat with and it happened again. Annie made her way back to stand with Teddy, Leslie and a few of the aunts. Annie gave Teddy a shy, sad smile. When they were called for dinner Teddy noticed that Annie had taken a plate and appeared to be eating, hopefully their talk earlier had at least made Annie think.
After dinner Leslie took a seat at the piano and began to play they all sang carrolls some with funny made up lyrics. Teddy giggled at their somewhat dirty rendition of Good King Wenceslas. After a few songs they heard jingle bells and the little kids rushed forward yelling for Santa. All of the kids were called to sit on the stairs and the adults gathered in the living room below. It seemed like kids in this family meant anyone who did not have a child of their own. Annie was on the top step between Catherine and Shannon, the three girls were giggling about something on Annie's phone. When Santa had finished all of the kids appeared to have matching pajamas and their new books. Each of the adults also had a new novel. Annie followed some of the other girls upstairs, they all came down in their matching pajamas with the snowflakes on them. It was a perfect scene, all of the cousins playing games in matching pajamas.
It was after midnight when they got home. Annie took off her make up and went upstairs to say good night to her parents. Back in the basement she quickly said good night to Teddy and Henry. Laying in bed Annie wished that she knew how to forgive her sister, what was going through her head she didn't know how to tell anyone. She didn't know how to forgive Jessica, she wanted to stop holding this grudge but she couldn't. It was eating her alive so that she couldn't eat or sleep. She wanted to tell mom or mama but worried they would be mad that Annie couldn't forgive. Maybe she would talk to mama when she was in Seattle in a few days. For now Annie was going to enjoy her first Christmas with mama.