Remember when I said that I would be able to get a match with Roxanne in the opening day for the season? Yeah? Well, things really didn't go according to the plan.
"UGH! BLAZE! LUNA! GALE! MURDER THEM ALL TO DEATH!" I screamed in incomparable rage at yet again another group of wrumples that thought we looked tasty.
Turns out the Petalburg Woods were more like a fucking forest. A huge, humid, cold forest infested with weak bug types that were only any good at overestimating themselves and being incredibly annoying.
After Blaze and Luna finished with the worms which may or may have not died —who cares, really. There are like a million of them in this forest alone—, I started to deeply regret that stubbornness of mine for doing my journey the normal way instead of getting a teleporter to drop me directly in the outskirts of Petalburg and train there until I could battle Roxanne. That would have been easy.
But no. I had to go everywhere just depending on myself and my team. One day to reach Oldale Town, another day to reach Petalburg, and I've been in this fucking place for two weeks. And it all had started so nice, too.
I finally had my first official battle on the way to Petalburg. Poor kid's starter was a barely trainer poochyena, which Blade proceeded to easily beat. Big part of the ease with which we won that battle were my commands and understanding of both the treecko and poochyena species, but that thing was weak even for its kind. After that, we were getting challenged at every opportunity. Which I gladly accepted, of course.
Blaze and King didn't get to battle, though, and most of the time challenges were left for Blade and Titania to solve. King and Blaze were just too damn strong for kids that just started their journey. They were already battling people on this level when we ran away from Sinnoh over 3 years ago. They were overqualified. Luna and Gale, on the other hand, lacked combat experience but were still considerably stronger than rookies. So, it fell to the newest 2 members of the team to battle these guys.
It wasn't until I reached the Petalburg Woods that all my team was free to play. At first, we beat a lot of kids with bugs, some more competent trainers making their way to Rustboro, and we even beat a newbie-hunter or three.
This may be complete bullshit, but I hypothesized these dubbed newbie-hunters were, in reality, league-employed trainers that were there with the express purpose of making life difficult for rookie trainers. They were stronger than they had any right to be for trainers without any badges, and they challenged every single 13-year-old-looking person they saw. It was just too weird not to be. Still, we defeated every single trainer we crossed paths with. Then I made the single worst decision of my so far very short second life.
I decided to stop to train in the middle of the woods.
Now, while this may not usually be such a bad thing, it was dangerous. The loud noises of my team practicing new moves and strategies triggered the territorial instincts of the stronger denizens of the woods, and even if the league made a periodical sweep to ensure there weren't any really threatening ones, we still had our fair share of encounters with beedrills, ninjasks, brelooms, and even some vigoroths that we just barely beat.
Still, we beat them and got stronger for it. King finally managed to evolve during a particular intense moment when we were running away from a vigoroth.
What was trying my patience weren't these, oh no, it was the mother fucking wrumples. They just took to harassing us at every possible turn trying to eat us or steal our food, it could be either one.
The first groups we only just repelled. After the third, we started beating them without mercy. After the tenth group I no longer cared if they survived and just had Blaze throw controlled flamethrowers —we were still in a forest, after all—, Luna spamming icy wind, and Gale bombarding them with gusts. King, Titania, and Blade were standing closer to me with Blade practicing hit and run tactics, Titania attacking long range with confusion, and King dealing that any stragglers that might have gotten too close to me.
It was truly a beautiful sight. If only I weren't at the end of my tether with these fuckers.
Truthfully, training included, we shouldn't have taken as much time as we had in the woods, but I got caught up with looking for a little something I saw was near us in my cheat app one night while browsing before sleeping.
A Keystone.
If you ever played the sixth and seventh generation pokemon games, you probably know this, but a keystone is one of the two items required to achieve mega-evolution. It is the size of a small marble, about 1 cm in diameter. It is characterized by its symbol depicting a slanted strand of DNA and shines in different colours.
It was also either undiscovered or classified to high heavens, since I hadn't encountered any references to it anywhere, and not for a lack of searching. The latter would make a lot of sense, though, as my cheat app gave rather frightening information when I searched for and studied everything I could get my hands on about mega evolution.
First, a little background information about pokemon species in general. As I had already mentioned, not all pokemon are created equal. Some were genetically predisposed to be incomparably stronger than others even when taking only their respective final evolutionary stage into account. A good example would be the once again the pidgey and smeargle species. This fact was best observable by the total sum of the 'base stats' each pokemon had in the games. They represented the highest value achievable dependent on a number of factors including nature, individual values, and effort values. As I had said, in a world were pokemon are no mere numbers, this concept gets a little trickier, but is still applicable. The difference was that you were not limited by these factors anymore. A pokemon could be born with a nature that favours speed and a natural aptitude in the same regard, but it would still have the same limit that a pokemon born with a nature that hinders it and has a propensity to move slowly, the latter would just take more time and training to reach that limit.
Smeargle is a fully evolved pokemon. Granted, it is probably the weakest one, but it still is a final stage. Pidgey, on the other hand, is the first stage of its evolutionary line and one of the most common pokemon out there. Smeargle had a base stat total of 250 while pidgey was slightly above it at 251.
This is a very clear example of a pokemon's strength being determined by its species. No matter how much a smeargle trains, it would never, ever be able to beat a pidgey that has the same amount of training and battle experience as said smeargle. Of course, by that point, the pidgey would most likely have already evolved into a pidgeotto, which boasts a 349 base stat total, if not a pidgeot with a 479 one. Either way, the pidgey line is superior to the smeargle line in almost all aspects. Of course there were some things smeargle was better at, but these were just its innate talents and it would be unreasonable to expect a pidgeot to be accomplished in them, just as it would be preposterous to expect a smeargle to fly.
Still, the fact remains that if both pidgey, a first stage common pokemon and smeargle, a final stage rare pokemon reached their limits, while it would be a fair fight, the pidgey had an advantage. If a limit trained pidgeot and smeargle fought, the smeargle would be completely and utterly annihilated, and that was being generous. There wasn't an adequate enough word to describe the unfairness of that fight.
It was just an innate difference in the potential different pokemon held.
As such, in this world, pokemon have been classified in different tiers considering the potential they held by different pokemon professors, researchers, and scholars since centuries ago. Some corrections are made when a pokemon reaches heights previously thought unattainable, but such cases are rare. Still, since those enlightened men didn't have a perfectly accurate numerical representation of a pokemon's limits, they were often wrong, if only by little. And excluding a few species, the members of each tier align perfectly with what my cheat app has on list.
The lowest tier in these categories was the inferior tier pokemon. The pokemon in this category were originally a part of the next category, the low tier, but were deemed to be even weaker than the average low tier pokemon by a group of pokemon scholars some decades ago, hence the split. Pokemon of the inferior tier could be identified by their almost null availability and usefulness in a combat scenario. It included names such as sunkern, ralts, magikarp, zubat, and most baby pokemon. They were pokemon that in the games would have a base stat total of 250 or less. One of the strongest pokemon of this tier was smeargle, while the weakest was wishiwashi.
The next grade, low tier, were pokemon that were, simply put, weak but still usable. They were usually unevolved pokemon, so they saw more use for the simple fact that they could evolve into a somewhat powerful pokemon. They would have had a base stat total of 251 to 299. The weakest member of this tier was pidgey, and the strongest was vulpix.
The medium tier mostly included pokemon that were either unevolved or in a middle stage evolution, with a few that were fully evolved. The latter pokemon in this category were considered decent and were the most common pokemon a life-long novice trainer may have. This included pokemon like butterfree, ledian, dustox, and beautifly. It is important to note that most pokemon belonging to the highest tier have their respective first stage evolutions in this category, like the various regional starters and pseudo-legendaries. They were the pokemon whose base stat total ranged anywhere from 300 to 399. Some examples of the weakest pokemon of this category were poliwag, bellsprout, and geodude, and the strongest pokemon were the likes of gloom, porygon, and vanillish.
The high tier pokemon were overall the most used pokemon in high level battles. Some of the most commonly seen specimens in this category included the likes of golem, pidgeot, manectric, skarmory, and ninjask. They mostly were either middle stage or fully evolved pokemon, with a few first stage ones that were abnormally powerful. This was also the most numerous category of pokemon. Some of the weakest pokemon of this category included wailmer, kadabra, and ariados, while the strongest included names such as talonflame, zebstrika, and drifblim. Their base stat total went from 400 to 499.
Now, above the high tier pokemon were the absolute best when it comes to firepower. It was called the top tier. These were the pokemon seen on trainers that built their teams minmaxing and prioritizing powerful ones since before even having a starter, just like yours truly. It is also the home of pokemon that are usually the strongest member of any team, be it an adept, elite, or champion level trainer. These were the best of the best. The pokemon that if encountered in the wild you were better off fleeing unless you were at least an advanced trainer. Most of them were also the pokemon that had special conditions for their evolution, so some were incredibly rare. A few examples of the most used pokemon on this tier were machamp, tentacruel, flygon, gardevoir, aggron, and crobat. Of course, it also included the last evolutionary stage of every regional starter, as well as some truly powerful pokemon like kingdra, arcanine, and gyarados. Some of less strong —because at this point, there were no weaklings anymore— pokemon of this tier were alakazam, ursaring, pinsir, claydol, houndoom, wailord, and vikavolt. The strongest were the likes of arcanine, flogres, volcarona, togekiss, and haxorus. They had a base stat total of anywhere from 500 to 555. Archeops and slaking were also included in this tier even if they had a higher stat total, since their abilities were such a hindrance.
The next two groups of pokemon are very short and are the pseudo-legendary and mythical pokemon. Pseudos consist of just eight evolutionary lines, these being the dragonite, tyranitar, salamence, metagross, garchomp, hydreigon, goodra, and komo'o. Their base stat total is always of exactly 600 and are the strongest pokemon a trainer can realistically raise. They are considered walking calamities in the wild, especially when in a group. They are also incredibly rare and difficult to tame for trainers not at the top tier. Even gym leaders and members of the elite 4 tend to shy away from pseudo-legendaries, and in the instances they don't it is almost never more than one.
Except for Lance, but seriously fuck that monster. He is absolutely ridiculous. He raises and trains dragonites as a fucking hobby.
Now this next tier is where things start getting bonkers. These pokemon, mythical pokemon, were until very recently considered to be legendaries. They were just as rare, with often centuries going by without a confirmed sighting of any of them but lacked a just little bit in terms of firepower. They were mew, celebi, jirachi, deoxys, manaphy, phione, darkrai, cresselia, shaymin, victini, keldeo, meloetta, diancie, hoopa, volcanion, magearna, marshadow, zeraora, and melmetal. These were the pokemon that could, even if their base stat total was close to the pseudo-legendaries, take dozens of pseudos head-on and not loose. Maybe not win, but definitely not loose. Fortunately, they were also extremely intelligent, and often avoided humans as best as possible. Still, they had nothing on the next tier, legendaries.
Legendaries were the absolute peak of the world. Forces of nature capable of changing the environment and the laws of the universe on a whim. While some were way more powerful than others, even the weakest legendary pokemon was a monster in and of itself. Just so you can actually conceptualize what the thing you always catch with a masterball is capable of doing, let me put it this way. Arceus created every pokemon. He created them. From nothing. It is the closest thing there is to an omnipotent being. Dialga controls time and palkia controls space. Heatran can create active volcanoes wherever he sleeps. Kyogre created the fucking oceans and groudon raised the continents. And the absolute madlad rayquaza was strong enough to get between them both and win. Regigigas can drag the continents to wherever he feels like it, and Xerneas can actually grant life. Like in revive a dead person. He can fucking cheat death.
Do you see how helplessly outmatched we are in comparison to the legendaries?
There is a legend that before the foundation of the Pokemon World Association the five strongest trainers of the time teamed up to fight zapdos. I am talking about five champion level trainers with at least one champion level pokemon each, most likely ten as a minimum if they had the balls to fight a legendary. They went after zapdos with a line-up including a dragonite, a metagross, a hydreigon, a garchomp, a gyarados, and an arcanine. A team like this would already be a top-level threat, and that's assuming the pokemon listed were not champion level. The result?
They were fucking creamed.
Only one of them returned to civilization on the back of an almost dead pidgeot. Nobody ever tried again.
Now, why do I tell you this? Well, it is easy, really. The reason legendary pokemon are such a fucking threat, aside from their ridiculous base stat total, is that they, somehow, managed to be perfect versions of themselves. And I don't mean it in the motivational sleazy way, I mean it literally. There is nothing a legendary pokemon can possibly do to be better than it already is. This is especially amazing because there is no possible way any other pokemon could achieve this naturally. It just isn't possible. Their lifetime is limited, even if very long. And even if they were immortal, there were things that a pokemon just wasn't capable of learning when by all rights it should. It was just the way nature operated.
Now, let me tell you something interesting.
Mega Evolution? The thing I was talking about before I started my tangent to the pokemon tiers? It didn't just give a pokemon a new form and a power boost. It did three things, actually. Just three. No more, no less.
It gave any mega evolved pokemon 100 more points of base stat total, changed their forms and sometimes their types and abilities, and perfected their states.
PERFECTED THEIR STATES.
As in legendary pokemon, perfected.
Of course, this was not as awesome as it sounded by itself. Even if they were perfected, they just didn't gain knowledge out of nowhere. Strategies and tactics they hadn't thought of or been taught were out of their reach, as well as moves they hadn't mastered already. It was also an entire different beast if an elite tier pokemon and a champion tier one of the same species underwent mega evolution, since their physical attributes were different. The perfected state referred to the best and most optimal utilization of any single drop of power they could manage, and you couldn't perfect something that just simply wasn't there.
As an example. If, let's say, an elite level houndoom went mega, its base stat total would be 600, the same as a pseudo. Since its an elite level pokemon, its perfect version would approximately be on par of a leader level pokemon of the same base stat total. If it was an ace level mega houndoom, though, it would be on par with any champion level pokemon with a 600 base stat total. The best way to say it is that a mega evolved pokemon can fight a pokemon with a similar base stat total of two tiers above it on even grounds.
Now, what about an elite level mega garchomp with a base stat total of 700? It would destroy a league level pseudo and be on par with a champion level pseudo. If it was an ace level mega garchomp? It would cream the champion level pseudo.
Now want to hear the scary part?
What if a champion level pseudo-legendary pokemon went mega? A very, very well trained and experienced champion level pokemon.
According to my cheat app?
The result would be a pokemon that could stand toe to toe with some legendaries temporarily.
A trained pokemon capable of going toe to toe with beings capable of controlling primordial forces of nature. What would happen if the trainer let such a pokemon loose on a region? Because at this point, a city would just be too small, it would be a catastrophe of proportions untold.
Yeah, if I were the league I would control these babies as tightly as possible too.
But I digress.
The point was, I spent about a week digging a 2 meter deep fucking hole in the earth on some arceus-forgotten part of the goddamned forest just because the map in my cheat app said there was a keystone buried there. And since my pokemon were mostly physically weak at this point, I ended up doing most of the job myself.
Titania, Luna, and Gale were mostly useless in this. They kept watch and shooed any wild pokemon that approached us. Blade used rock smash, which I had him learn just for this occasion, every time the ground got too tough for Blaze, King, and I to keep digging.
Still, a week later we were stronger, dirty, tired, and in possession of a keystone that I had absolutely no idea what to do with.
Even if I had a pokemon capable of mega evolution and its respective mega stone, which I obviously don't, I would not try it until the pokemon in question was at least at the advanced level, but preferably elite. And that was just in case of a life or death situation. Otherwise, better not do it. Mega evolution was a difficult process to invoke, and it placed great stress on both parties, pokemon and trainer, if either done incorrectly or a certain time limit was exceeded. The time limit depended mostly on the pokemon's strength and the trainer's will.
So, I decided to drop the keystone in the most secure compartment of my bag along with the ice stone which I wasn't supposed to have and a trainer's journal which was at this point more complete than those of some elite level trainers.
In other words, I placed it with my other treasures.
Still, I wasn't exactly comfortable carrying such a valuable, so I made haste for the exit of the woods, which landed us in this situation.
With probably hundreds of wrumple corpses left behind, we finally made it out of the Petalburg woods one day later. I went directly to the pokemon center after summarily beating every trainer between Rustboro and the Wood's exit with Blaze and King, gave the nurse my pokemon for a healing, used the showers, and went for a room.
After waiting for about 4 hours my team was set and ready to go, so I just let them loose in the room I got assigned that night. With Blaze and Luna curled at my feet, Titania by my side, King on the floor between the bed and the door, Blade in a shadowy corner on the other side of the bed, and Gale perched on the window ledge, I closed my eyes.
Tomorrow I would worry about Roxanne and shit. Today, I just want to sleep.