AN: OMG, I know I am repeating myself, but you guys are amazing! The response to the last chapter was, in my eyes, outstanding. I loved to read your words and thoughts about it so much. Thank you so much! And now, on with it.
"And the winner is..."
I can feel the rapid throbbing of my heart. It's pulsing so hard against my ribcage that I'm afraid it will beat just right out of its confines if it pounds any faster. The accelerating thud thud thud resonates loudly in my ears and it's almost drowning out the television. Almost. I can't see what's going on, my eyes are too busy following that patterns of the hardwood floor in my parents' living room. But I can still hear the TV, I can still hear Callie's beautiful voice and I just know she's going to say some stranger's name. Although I am pretty much sure I know the outcome, I can't bring myself to take my hands away from my ears, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see it. Is there still be enough time left to run?
"Arizona Robbins – Give your heart a break", she reads out and within a split second, my head snaps back up, my blue eyes go wide, lock onto the screen and my mouth falls open in disbelief. "Congratulation." And then the sound of the TV with all the cheering and clapping hands seems to fade out and I don't even care.
The show continues, but I'm not paying attention anymore. Did she really just say my name? It can't be, can it? No. I must be dreaming. This is not possible. "Did she-? Was that-? Have I-? How-?", I stutter. I can't find words in the English language to verbalize what I am feeling, and honestly, I don't think there are words to describe what just happened either. It's shock, definitely shock and astonishment, but it's so much bigger than just a shock and it beats every single surprise I've ever got so far and maybe ever will get. I must look like a complete idiot, with my jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes bulging out of my head – figuratively speaking. But in all honesty, I'm in over my head, I don't know what to think.
The next thing I truly realize is Teddy tackling me into the cushions of the couch followed by her ear-piercing shrieks of not understandable words and syllables. At least she knows how to say something. And apparently, she knows how to move too, she's hugging me so tight, I can't breathe properly. It's not the worst feeling though, it makes me aware of the act that I am still alive and definitely not asleep. I thought I was dreaming, then I thought I heard wrong, but my best friend's reaction is enough of an answer.
Holy shit, I won.
"What's the commotion in here, dears?", my mom asks as she comes in, clearly drawn to us by all the noise Teddy just made and still makes. Typically mom. Judging by her facials expression, probably thought someone was hurt.
I want to answer and take away her worries, but I am still speechless. I can't voice what just happened, I still don't really get it myself. How am I even supposed to grasp the depth and weight of the event. It's too surreal. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I could make it, that I, Arizona Robbins, could win this. It might not mean much to a lot of other people, but to me, this means the world. Because I will meet Callie Torres. Because I had the balls to send that damn email and submitted my story. Because she read that story and she liked it.
Holy shit, I will meet Callie Torres.
It just dawned on me. Literally. Because I didn't dare to dreamthat far when I submitted this story. I never allowed myself to go so far and try to imagine what would happen if I would actually have the guts to submit something, anywhere. Let alone win a contest. That thought was the last thing on my mind. But now I won. Not to mention that now I will meet my number one celebrity crush in person. Wow, is it getting hot in here or is it just me? And why is my head spinning?
"Are you alright?", momma asks and as much as I want to say something, I can't. I'm still at a loss of words and the fact that Teddy has not stopped jumping up and down on top of me is not helping either.
"She won, Mama B, she won", Teddy squeals and beams at my mother. "She freaking did it! I knew she could do it, I knew she had it in her and now she won! I've had so much faith in your daughter's work and she actually did it! This is the first step. Before we know it, A's work gets published and will win prices, have her books turn into movies and she'll be the-"
"What are you talking about?", momma interrupts her big speech of my sparkling future, not getting any of what my best friend has been trying to tell her.
Of course she doesn't. Ted's words are cryptic to her, so I need to act as a translator, "I won", I state. „There was, uhm, a fan fiction contest on the Ellen show and I submitted one of my stories and... they liked it." I say the last words with a smile forming on my lips. It's still unbelievable for me, but they liked it. As happy as that makes me, now I need to tell my parents. It is always hard to talk about my biggest passion with my mother, well my family in general. Not because I don't want to share that stuff with them, but because they don't get it. My mother thinks it's a waste of time, much like my father, so I usually don't tell them that I stayed up late writing a six-thousand-word story instead of doing my homework. I only ever talk about that to Teddy and Anna.
Anna. I need to tell her!
Without thinking – because frankly, I still can't wrap my brain around the whole thing – I grab my phone and with a few swipes over the touch screen, the line is trying to connect. I have no clue what I will tell her, but I want to tell her something, anything, everything she needs to know. And I want to do it now.
When she picks up, all that comes out of my mouth is a squeal of joy and then I rush into a waterfall of words, not really sure if my rambling makes sense at all. She groans every few words and mumbles a barely understandable 'awesome' into the phone. It's only then that I realize that it's way past midnight in Newcastle upon Tyne and that Anna was already asleep. Oops. "I'm so sorry, Anna. I totally forgot. Sorry sorry sorry. I'll call later, okay? Sleep tight." With yet another grunt as a response I hang up the phone just in time before Teddy grabs my face with her hand under my chin and forces my head towards the TV.
"They're talking about you!"
"Arizona Robbins", Callie says and just like that I feel blood rushing through my veins so fast it feels as if I have been running a marathon for the past five hour. She said my name, twice already. I'm swooning and at the same time, I can't decide what to do first. My mother is still standing behind the couch, obviously my explanation hasn't been enough. "You have an amazing talent. I can't wait to meet you", the Latina's voice echoes through the room due to the volume of the television and she winks into the camera. I think I might have died and gone to heaven. A heaven where Callie Torres will say my name over and over again.
Fingers snapping right before my eyes bring me back to reality before I can daydream about a kiss that is never going to actually happen. I must have zoned out, again. "What?", I ask when Teddy seems to try to stare right through my skin and into my soul. "Stop staring!"
"And you say something!", she argues as she puts her hands on my shoulders and shakes me. "You are going to meet Callie freaking Torres who just said that you have an amazing talent! I am waiting for a reaction here other than stammering words and your mouth moving like a fish's. Scream, yell, cry, jump, dance around. Hell, whatever, but DO SOMETHING!"
"And I am still waiting for an explanation", my mother reminds me and I try once again to put into words what just happened, starting at the beginning and ending in the here and now. "So, this contest thing, you wrote a story just for that and get to meet the actress as a reward?"
Teddy and I both nod. I can read my mother's face, she doesn't like the thought of it, at all. I can't say I'm surprised by her reaction. My parents have always been really strict with us, their words are our rules as long as we live under the same roof. Correction, as long as I live here. Because Tim has moved out when he joined the Marines, making my parents all proud and happy. Me? Not so much. That's why they pushed me into law school. It has always been this way. Always. And I just know that my mother thinks that this is my plan of finding a way out of law school.
But it's not, not really. Of course I still don't want to become a lawyer. I just can't see myself defending people, innocent or not. But I am not stupid nor am I naive. Just because I get to meet Callie, doesn't mean that the rest will change. I mean, it's a meet and greet not a proposal for marriage. For me, it's a dream coming true, a wish my heart made the moment I first saw her in a movie. Just the thought about her smile makes me want to fast forward to the day I will meet her. Nevertheless, it won't change the rest of my life and the plan my parents have for me. "Mom-"
"I am not happy with that, Arizona", she says, pulling the kitchen towel from her shoulder to knead it between her hands. "Your focus should be solely on law school and not on writing fan fiction. There is no money in that. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of writers do not get published and we want you to have a good job so you can build a future and a good life"
"Those are daddy's words", I huff and cross my arms over my chest. My reaction is childish, I know that, but I... I'm just disappointed. I guess I expected at least some words of happiness or excitement or whatever. I just wish they would be as proud of me as they are of Tim. "You know what? I don't care. This is my price and I'm gonna meet Callie, even it's just a quick hello, a picture and then it's goodbye again. I'm not gonna let this go to waste. Because this is my life, a once in a lifetime chance that's never going to come around again. So I'll take it." Standing up, I walk past my mother and up the stairs to my room. Teddy's footsteps aren't too far behind me, so it doesn't startle me that a few seconds after I pushed the door to my room open someone else closes it.
Neither of us says a word. I am standing in the middle of a room that measures about eighteen square meters which still holds some memories of my childhood. A few butterflies here and there, my oldest stuffed toy and the bedside lamp I got from my grandparents when I was ten. The rest? Callie Torres, everywhere. Posters, pictures and two autograph cards. Some people may call it an obsession, I choose to call it a passion for the beautiful things in life. And the dark-haired and dark-eyed actress is definitely the epitome of beauty.
"Soon I'll add my own picture of her to the mix", I state with a wide grin. Closing my eyes, I try to not let my wishes get the better of me, I try not to imagine how she smells or what a hug would feel like. I can't wait to meet you, Callie Torres. That day cannot come fast enough.