Teddy and Alison had been home from the hospital for almost a week when Annie went to visit. She let herself into the house and found them in the living room.
"Hi mama," Annie whispered, "are you okay?"
"Hi sweetheart I'm okay. Still Sore and a little tired, your sister kept me up all night," Teddy said.
Annie asked, "can I hold her?"
Teddy smiled, "of course."
Annie lifted the baby from Teddy and smiled at her baby sister, "hi Ali bean I'm Annie your big sister. Sorry I haven't been here to give you cuddles sooner. I've been stuck at the hospital looking after other babies. You're so big compared to the ones I'm looking after."
Alison opened her eyes to look at Annie.
"Mama she has green eyes," Annie said,"it's the first time I've seen her eyes open."
"I know," Teddy smiled, "she's a red head though."
"Other than cuddling my sister what can I do to help," Annie asked.
Teddy asked, "are you okay to hold her while I quickly shower? I fed her just before you came so she should be good for a little bit. Owen went for groceries."
Annie said, "I need time with my baby sister. Go shower."
Teddy said, "thank you."
Teddy walked upstairs. Annie sat on the couch and held the baby.
Annie began to talk to Alison, "okay little Ali bean. I don't have the best track record as a big sister but I'm trying to be a good one for you. I know it's really weird for you because I'm old enough to be your mom. You're lucky you get to be with mama from day one. Her and your daddy are going to be the best parents for you. You have no clue how lucky you are. I know I can't be a big sister for you to play with every day but we'll find our fun things I promise. You are so loved, Ali bean. I promise you will never have to prove that you belong or that you're good enough. No matter what happens I'm always going to be here for you. You are a beautiful little one baby bean. When you're big enough and don't need diapers any more you'll come to my house for sleepovers. For now I'll come and give you cuddles or you can come hang out with me and Josh so mama and your daddy can have time to go out. When you're bigger we'll make cookies and play on the beach. Mama and daddy don't know much about the beach but I'll show you how to find crabs under rocks and dig for clams or make annenomes curl up their tentacles and starfish grab your finger. We'll catch fish and cook them over a beach fire. I wonder if you'll look like mama and I when you get bigger. It looks like you have your daddy and auntie Meghan's hair though. I don't know what else to tell you baby bean. But I promise I will never ever let anyone hurt you the way my other sister hurt me. When you're a teenager and mama and daddy are driving you crazy you can always come and hide at my house. I'll always be ready to listen. You'll love mama, she's the strongest, most loving person I know. She will always be there for you even when she doesn't agree with what you're doing. Mama is always on our side. Your daddy will protect and love you no matter what. You're lucky that he's your dad. In a lot of ways he's the closest thing I have to a dad. I wish I knew how to tell your daddy I think of him as my dad. The next time I need a dad I think I'll talk to your daddy about it. "
Annie didn't know that Teddy was sitting on the top of the stairs listening. Her eyes filled with tears listening to her oldest talk to her youngest. Annie would care for Alison, she already loved her baby sister that much was clear. Her girls were bonding. Annie saw Owen as a father figure, Teddy hadn't known that but it didn't surprise her . She guessed that when the time came Annie would ask Owen to walk her down the aisle.
Annie looked from her little sister to the window and smiled, "it's snowing baby bean. It's your first snow. Let's go watch it."
Annie carried her little sister to the window and held her against her shoulder, "see the white stuff. That's snow. Maybe later mama and daddy will take you out to see it. Mama loves the snow possibly more than I do. The snow makes everything look fresh and clean. Like it's been tucked into a blanket. It's cozy and peaceful. The snow tickles when it falls on your cheeks and it gets stuck in your eyelashes. The whole world goes quiet when it snows, cars stop driving on the roads and people stay inside it's like the whole world whispers."
Teddy stood and listened as Annie began to sing to Alison. Soft lullabies that Teddy didn't recognize. Realizing her girls were okay Teddy finally went to take her shower. She went back down stairs in clean leggings and a hoodie with her hair still wet in a messy bun.
When Teddy came down Annie was sitting on the couch looking at her sleeping sister who she had laid on her lap.
"I know I said some things I didn't really mean and I was nervous but I love her mama," Annie said," she's perfect and so tiny."
Teddy gave Annie a hug, "I love seeing my girls together. This makes me really happy Annie."
"I can tell," Annie said, "you're the happiest I've seen you."
"I am. Are you okay," Teddy asked.
"I've been in the nicu the last few days with Robbins and Karev," Annie said, "I've learned a lot about babies. It's not as scary to hold Ali bean now."
"Ali bean," Teddy asked, "where did that come from?"
"My grandpa Leslie's dad always called me Annie bean," Annie said, "it just came out when I first held Allison but I like it. Is that okay?"
Teddy smiled, "I like it. I like you having a special name for her."
Teddy's phone buzzed on the coffee table.
Owen, "it's snowing roads will be slow."
Teddy, "both girls are home. We're just on the couch."
Owen, "Annie came today?"
Teddy, "she did. She just finished 4 days in the nicu with Karev. She wanted baby cuddles with her sister. You should have heard her speech to Allison when I went to shower. I'll tell you when she goes home. It made me cry. Our girls will be close."
Owen, "I'm stopping at Starbucks does Annie want anything? What do you want?"
Teddy asked Annie, "Owen is stopping at Starbucks. Do you want your usual?"
Annie smiled, "yes please."
Teddy texted, "she does, a nonfat chai latte. Can you get me a decaf one?"
Owen, "I will."
Allison began to fuss.
"I'll take her Annie," Teddy said, "she's probably hungry."
"Do you want me to go," Annie asked.
Teddy said, "stay and keep me company. Can you pass me the pillow behind you."
Annie passed Teddy the pillow and the blanket that was on the back of the couch beside it.
"I don't need the blanket," Teddy said, "I really don't care if you see. You don't like it, don't look."
"Do you want me to French braid your hair so it doesn't tangle in the messy bun," Annie offered.
"That would be nice," Teddy said, "no one has done my hair for me in years."
"Where's your brush," Annie asked.
"On my dresser," Teddy said.
"Am I doing one braid or two," Annie asked.
"What do you think," Teddy asked.
"Two is easier to sleep on but one is more mature," Annie said, "I like two it stays in better. I can leave it for a 48 hour shift and it's still tidy."
"Let's do two," Teddy said, "I'm napping a lot these days and having a hard time getting a shower everyday."
"I'll go get your brush and a couple hair ties," Annie said.
"I have two elastics in my hair," Teddy said.
Annie ran upstairs and grabbed the hair bush. She came back down stairs and gently began to brush through Teddy's hair before French braiding it.
"You'll have to teach me to do this," Teddy said.
"I will," Annie said, "it's not hard. Just remembering the pattern."
"When Allison has more hair," Teddy said.
"I will. Did you see it's snowing," Annie said, "will you take her to see the snow? I showed her through the window."
"She's only a week old," Teddy said, "we'll see. Are you okay to drive home?"
"I have the Jeep," Annie said, "Josh took my car to work."
Teddy asked, "what's the hospital gossip?"
"I only have intern gossip," Annie said.
"Tell me," Teddy said.
"Jenna is dating a senior resident but I don't think that it'll last. He keeps paging her to on call rooms," Annie said, "that's not where you do that. She comes across so desperate it's not helping her find a nice guy."
"You live with your boyfriend," Teddy said, "there's no reason for you and Josh to do that. If you do please sweetheart make sure you lock the door."
"Never," Annie said, "that's not where you do that. No that's not okay."
"Most people do," Teddy said, "every resident gets caught at some point it's a right of passage."
"We never will be," Annie said.
Teddy nodded, "you live with Josh it's different and you both trust each other. Is everything okay with the two of you?"
Annie replied, "we're on opposite shifts again and that's really hard. I don't see him and we won't be home at the same time until next week. The longest i've spent with him in the last week was when I brought him to meet Allison at the hospital."
"It's good for you to miss each other," Teddy said.
"Are you okay," Annie asked.
"Tired," Teddy said, "this is all new to me."
"Can I help with anything," Annie asked.
Teddy said, "come see us on your day's off. I miss you."
"I thought I'd let you get to know Allison for a bit," Annie said.
"Thank you," Teddy said, "but you have your key and can always come and go whenever you want. I need both my girls around. I wanted you to come sooner. But I know you've had a busy week."
Annie asked, "do you actually mean that?"
Teddy shook her head, "Annie I have two girls that I love and want around. I want you around. I need both girls equally."
"Really," Annie asked.
"Really," Teddy said.
"Is Owen helping you with Allison," Annie asked.
"He is," Teddy said, "he's better at the dad thing then I am at the mom thing."
"Mama," Annie said, "I turned out okay. She's happy with you and loves you."
"You're different," Teddy said, "you were 19. I didn't do the baby thing with you. I missed out on this time with you. You could always tell me what you were thinking and what you needed. You didn't need me the same way."
Annie said, "no we just got through the hardest things I've had to do. I'm okay now I'm strong."
"You are," Teddy said, "and you're starting to go to Josh when you're upset more than me."
" I am," Annie said, "he's my first call when I rock something or something goes well. And he's the person I want when I mess up or things don't go well."
Teddy smiled, "that's good. Josh is your person. I've seen it for years. He's your Owen. You two will be great. These opposite schedules are hard for now but you can do it."
"I miss him," Annie said, "I miss our time at home together. Just being us. Time to talk and relax. Curling up after a long day with a cup of tea and some ice cream to watch a movie together. It's been three weeks of this. We pass at the hospital for a few minutes. A quick hug or a kiss in the back stairwell but that's it."
"I know," Teddy said, "another week on this rotation then you should overlap more."
" I have two more shifts in the nicu then both Josh and I are home for two days before we're on the same schedule. I'm with Meghan for 3 weeks of trauma and Josh is with Karev for 3 weeks of peds," Annie said.
"Meghan will be good for you," Teddy said.
"She's going to push me really hard," Annie said, "she did the day Allison was born. At least she likes music and has a sense of humour."
Teddy replied, "she'll push you and demand a lot from you. Just be respectful and do what she asks. Treat it like working with me or Owen. Ask questions, explain what you're doing as you do things. She was a risk taker. You can try things and ask her to let you try if you feel ready. Speak up and use your voice "
"Will she keep calling me Annie at work," Annie asked.
"I do, Josh does, so does Owen, Nathan has started to," Teddy said.
"Uncle Owen barks at me like a seal at work," Annie said, "he at least uses Altman in the seal tone. One day I'm going to bark like a seal when he does that."
"I'll talk to him again," Teddy said, "next time you're working with Meghan you can't call her Meghan, she's Dr Hunt in the hospital. She said you hugged her last week though."
"I did," Annie said, "I think she's safe and I can trust her."
Teddy nodded, "you can. She wants to mentor you. Her and I talked about it yesterday. She sees a trauma surgeon in you."
"I like cardio and trauma," Annie said, "can I do both?"
"You can," Teddy said, "I want to mentor you but I can only do so much. I can't be your reference down the road because you're my daughter, Owen is a bit of a conflict of interest as well. Work with Nathan and Meghan. They can get you where you want to go. I'll do what I can and bring you on my service as much as possible but I need to be your mama not your attending."
"I understand," Annie said, "I still want to scrub in with you when you come back."
"You will," Teddy promised.
"I'm off Sunday and Monday," Annie said, "do you and Owen want to bring Allison and come for dinner?"
Teddy said, "that sounds good. Can we bring anything?"
"The brownie recipe," Annie said, "I can do them. I just need the measurements."
Teddy said, "I'll try to make them. Allison sleeps so much I should have time. Except she doesn't like being put down."
"What about the carrier you got at the shower," Annie said.
Teddy said, "I can't figure it out."
Annie asked, "do you want me to help when she's done eating?"
Teddy said, "I do but you can't laugh at me."
"When have I laughed at you," Annie said.
"When I couldn't tie my shoe," Teddy said.
"You asked me to tie your shoe in the middle of the surgical floor," Annie said, "of course I get to tease you. There's a difference between sending your intern for coffee and having them tie your shoe."
"I only asked one intern to do that," Teddy said, "I only asked you. When you have kids don't operate the day before you give birth."
Annie said, "kids are a long way off. I want to get married first and there's no way Josh and I are there yet. We've been talking about it though but we haven't even been together a year yet. You were supposed to have another week that was your last day of work and you had Warren do 90% of the valve replacement. I did the other 10%."
"I know," Teddy said, "I was on my feet too much then came home and did house work and made cookies. You can see you and Josh having kids?"
Annie said, "one of those nights where we sat up and dreamed on the couch. We talked about getting married and going to the same place for our fellowships and then having kids after. We want forever. I love him and I feel loved and secure with him. He knows all of my scars inside and out and loves me anyway."
Teddy said, "then he's the right guy for you. Allison is almost done, do you want to hold her again?"
"Can I," Annie said.
"She needs to get to know her big sister," Teddy said, "I think she likes you."
"I love her," Annie said, "she's so cute and tiny. And the new baby smell is amazing. I want one when it's time."
"You're an intern," Teddy said, "come cuddle and spoil your sister and you have your kitten. That's one thing that residency and fellowships make hard. It's the time of your life that most people you grew up with or went to college with are getting married and having babies but you're still training. You started young, you'll only be 31/32 when you finish your fellowship."
"I've seen a few high school friends wedding photos on Facebook, not many have babies yet," Annie said, "Cassie's daughter is almost two though."
"Do you still talk to Cassie," Teddy asked.
"Not as much anymore," Annie said, "I drifted away from a lot of my friends when I went to Boston. I was in a different time zone and always studying. Now I'm always working and when I do get time off the last thing I want to do is the drive to Cloverdale or Vancouver."
"It's not too late," Teddy said.
Annie shrugged, "it's not a can of worms I want to reopen. I don't want to explain why i stopped going to visit. I'm happy. When I'm off I hang out with Jenna and Cassidy, Julia has been coming out as well. Steph wants to come see Allison soon. I sent her pictures."
"Invite Steph on Sunday," Teddy said, "who else have you sent pictures?"
"I showed Jenna, Cassidy, Julia, Duncan and Jeremy and sent Chris a couple. I'm still mad mom and dad haven't let him come down yet," Annie said.
"How much longer does he have," Teddy asked.
"6 days. He's going to come down Friday night because I'm off at 4 and am only working 5am-6pm on Saturday," Annie said, "are you okay if Chris is here on Sunday."
"Chris is family," Teddy said, "who else are you inviting?"
"Just the six of us," Annie said, "I didn't want to overwhelm you. Do you want me to invite Meghan's family and Evelyn?"
Teddy said, "it's up to you. They won't be offended either way."
Annie said, "you choose mama."
"Evelyn wants to do dinner next weekend with everyone so let's do this weekend just us," Teddy said.
Owen walked in stamping the snow off his boots, "what are we doing this weekend?"
Annie said, "Sunday dinner at our place with Chris."
Owen said, "what is Chris doing here?"
"He comes on Friday to see me before he deploys for 10 months he's only here until Tuesday," Annie said, "he wants to see you guys and meet Allison."
Teddy said, "I want to get all of us together. I haven't seen Chris since Annie's graduation."
"I haven't seen him either," Annie said, "just need to tell him that Josh and I live together and not as roommates."
"Don't ahead of time," Owen said, "just act natural about it. I hated that conversation with Meghan. The whole Nathan is going to move into my room in the apartment we shared. She made me trade rooms because she thought her and Nathan should share the bigger room."
"He's visiting," Teddy said, "he knows you and Josh are dating."
"I have chai lattes," Owen said, changing the subject, "decaf for Teddy and regular for Annie."
He put their lattes on the coffee table in front of them.
"Thank you," Annie said, grabbing her cup.
Teddy asked, "can you pass me mine?"
Owen passed her the cup and sat on the arm of the couch beside her. Owen began to massage Teddy's shoulders.
"I'm still here," Annie said, "stop being cute."
Teddy laughed, "we're not."
Annie rolled her eyes, "you are."
"Where's Josh ," Owen asked.
"Working," Annie replied, "I probably should have stayed but I'm already at 72 hours this week and have 12 scheduled tomorrow. And I really wanted to come see mama and Ali bean."
"Are you staying for dinner," asked Owen, "I'm putting a lasagna in the oven."
"Do you mind if I stay?" Annie said looking at Teddy.
"Stay," Teddy said.
"I'll have dinner with you then probably go after," Annie said, "before the roads get too bad."
"Are you okay to drive in the snow," Owen asked.
"I grew up in Canada. I learned to drive highways on the sea to sky between Vancouver and whistler or the Coquehalia between Hope and Kelowna. I can do a Seattle snow storm," Annie said.
"If it gets bad I'll drive you home and come get you in the morning," Owen said.
"I have Josh's Jeep," Annie said, "I'm fine. I can do this."
"Are you sure," Teddy asked, "you can stay here if you want."
"I'm good," Annie said, "plus the cat has been alone too long."
Annie helped Owen with dinner and set the table. Teddy set Allison in the baby swing by the table. Teddy was happy she had the three people she loved most in the world sitting with her, her fiance and her two girls.