AN: s/o to all of you who review, to all of you who fave and follow, to all silent readers out there! To all of you who enjoy this story enough to be patient with me and the updates. And a big shout out to my beta! Thank you, all of you!
I hate, hate, hate hospitals. The sterile walls and hallways, the smell of sanitizer everywhere around me and most of all, the quietness. No words can describe how grateful I was that staying more than one night in the hospital room wasn't necessary. I was ready to leave the moment I woke up! Yes, I had Callie's amazing company and Teddy was there too for a while, so at least, I wasn't alone and bored. But still. The relief I felt when the doctor discharged me after rounds yesterday morning was one of the best things ever. It was only topped by my girlfriend's surprise, that I would be staying with her in Miami and that we would take her father's private jet. Now, I don't consider myself as someone who needs luxury. I don't need all the money in the world or the most fanciest car or the newest and most expensive cellphone to be happy. But traveling with a private jet, with the possibility to elevate my injured leg whenever I wanted, it has some perks. It felt like heaven, Arizona. Cuddling with Callie and stealing kisses every now and then was literally the icing on the cake for that plane ride. A girl could get used to that. Having more time with Callie is definitely something you could get used to.
The actress has been nothing but amazing ever since we left the hospital. She's sitting next to me in another lounge chair on the wide open porch that leads into the backyard of her family's residence in Miami, going over the script for her upcoming movie and highlighting her lines. With her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, sunglasses shielding her beautiful eyes and her long, dark brown waves let down, she looks utterly amazing. So mesmerizing that I cannot stop looking at her. She is breathtakingly stunning.
"Stop staring", Callie comments with a smile and I blush a little. Busted, Robbins. "I can't concentrate when you look at me like that. It's like I know you're watching me and then I want to look at you, too, but it makes me lose my focus." Her voice is soft, letting me know she's not mad. She puts the script on the small table to her right side and leans over. "Also, it looks like you want to eat me…", she jokes. "And in return, it makes me want to eat you."
Choking on the water that I took a sip of, I blush even harder after the coughing fit is over. She's got a point. Ever since she and I had sex for the first time together, I am nearly constantly thinking about being intimate with her. I think about her body against mine, her hand between my legs or my face nestled between her thighs. You got it bad, Arizona. "I am really glad that I get to spend more time with you", I say. It's not that I am thankful for the killing spree that happened, or for getting shot. On the contrary, especially when the effect of the pain meds fades. But there won't be any law classes for the upcoming two weeks and Dr. Renner told me I could get the check up on the stitches at any other hospital as well. So, why stay home with my parents when I could be with my girlfriend instead? Even if she has work to do.
"I'm glad I can be here for you", the brunette states before closing the gap between us and placing a tender kiss on my lips. "Mhmm", she hums, "you taste like cappuccino." She still tastes better. A tongue peeks out and Callie licks her lips and all I can do – again – is stare. Damn, this woman. "Oh good, he's here", she says when the doorbell rings and gets up. It was barely audible all the way out here and if we would have been talking, we surely would have missed it. Hell, you definitely missed it.
"Who's here?", I ask quickly, but Callie has alreadywalked back into the house. Glancing at my crutches, I roll my eyes at the offending objects. Fucking, useless crutches. I am an almost hopeless case when it comes to walking with them. From my hospital room down to the cab waiting, I was sitting in a wheelchair, hospital policy. Through the airport and especially through security check I struggled a lot. Keeping your balance on one leg and clinging onto two metal sticks on both sides is easier said than actually done. And when we got here, George carried me inside. As embarrassing as it sounds, it was such a relief for my hands. "Callie?" A few minutes later the gorgeous brunette comes back with a white paper bag in her left hand. Has she ordered food? I am not even hungry. "Callie?", I ask again but I don't get a response.
Instead, she turns around and smiles brightly at me before she flops down onto the chair, placing the bag right next to her feet. Her 'flopping down' is probably more graceful than your usual walking, let alone walking with the crutches. I watch her every move as she starts to unload what is inside the bag and my eyes go wide with every single box she places on the foot of the lounge chair. That is definitely not take-out dinner... "So, I know we've talked about this at the hospital, but-", she begins and I instantly feel the need to interrupt her.
"Yes we did. And I told you I can buy a new cellphone with my own money." Realizing that my words came out harsher than I intended, I lock my eyes with hers and add in a softer voice, "Callie, I... you really don't have to buy me a new cellphone. I can afford that myself." We have talked about it at the hospital – at length. I'm not worried about her thinking she has to buy me. We both know that I am not with her for the money or the fame. But I don't want other people to give even the smallest reason to assume any of that crap. It's the same with the plane tickets.
"I know that", she says immediately and holds her hands up to defend her gesture. "And it's not like I am doing this because you don't have the money. I know you have savings and everything. Even though I will never agree with you spending all your savings for plane tickets, I know that you want to be independent and I respect that. But please, let me do this, for you, for us. You can't just walk into a store with your crutches and buy a new phone." She's got a point here. I would probably crash to the floor before I make it to the store. "And I don't like not being able to get a hold of you. Been there, done that and it wasn't a good feeling." Pausing, Callie purses her lips and chews on the inside. She looks hurt and concerned. I can understand where she's coming from, at least a little bit. "Look, to spare us from any more paparazzi, I had George pick up a few of the latest phones for you to pick one. Heck, maybe I keep one myself. And the rest will go back to the store. Don't look at the price tags, don't think about the money. Think about it as something that I, as your girlfriend, want to give to you because it means I can text and call you whenever I have a free minute."
Despite wanting to shut her offer down and still insisting on buying one myself, I do my best trying to comprehend her train of thought. If I were in her shoes, I would most likely do the same. "You couldn't get a hold of me", I repeat her words in a quiet voice, wondering how she really felt. She's right here with you, you could just ask her. So that's what I do, "How... was it?"
"It was horrible, Arizona", Callie admits, glancing at the sealed boxes and then chocolate brown eyes once again lock with mine. She takes my hand and tanned fingers play with mine when she continues, "I was so worried about you. It was all over the news. People running around, people screaming, the SWAT Team. Everything was everywhere. And you didn't pick up your phone. I know it wasn't your fault. And after hearing what you told me, you probably wouldn't have been able to answer my call anyway. But if you would have had your cellphone, you could have called for help. You could have called me or your parents or freaking 911. I just want you to be safe."
Tilting my head to the side, I keep my eyes on her, squinting them a little bit as I replay her words in my head. I did have a cellphone until it crashed on the floor, so is that really a valid point? "But I am okay", I assure her. "My head doesn't hurt anymore." Thank God the throbbing ache is gone. "And my leg will be fine." Giving her a full-dimpled smile, I hope I can take her worries away. When she doesn't say anything, I ask, "Wait. Is this about the paparazzi?" Leaving the hospital was a rough walk. Someone leaked the big news that Callie Torres was inside the Seattle Grace Hospital, so naturally, every journalist assumed she was there because of someone else. And then, when trying to get out of the building, we were literally ambushed by questions and people trying to take pictures. I found some of them on the internet earlier when I did some browsing. But this time, I knew it would happen, so it wasn't as shocking as the first time. "Calliope, I can handle that. I'm a big girl", I say with a wink.
"I know that, Arizona. Honestly, I think everything plays into it. If you want to put your foot down on paying for the phone yourself, I won't keep you from it. But, if you want to, you can just pick one and say thank you." The underlying, indifferent sound in her voice is new to me. Maybe it's all the stress and pressure. Both of us have had a lot of this within the last couple of days. And Callie has her interview with Ellen tomorrow, so maybe that weighs heavy on her shoulders, too. Coming out to everyone at the same time isn't something I would take lightly.
I lock my eyes with hers again and say, "Thank you", before squeezing her hand. And she smiles back at me, letting me know that whatever will happen, we'll get through this. That smile right there, it has the power to save me every day. I love that smile. I even think I love the woman who is currently smiling at me. Whoa, where is that coming from? It's too soon for that. Isn't it? Loves takes time, doesn't it? Yes, love takes time. But maybe, just maybe, you simply know, Arizona.
Rain spills from the heavy clouds over my head. Thick drops plaster down onto my clothes and face, soaking my hair and the fabric through to my skin. It's cold and pitch dark. I have never seen a day like this in Boston. And it's not just the weather. The whole atmosphere is eerie and it causes a chill to run down my spine, making goosebumps appear on even the smallest patch of skin. Everything around me is hectic and loud. I feel people run past me, but I can't see anyone. Lots of people. Blood-curling screams reverberate from invisible walls. They are everywhere. And in the middle of the frantic event, I stand frozen to the pavement. I literally can't move. My feet seem glued to the ground and when I look up, he's there too. The madman, with his gun, pointing it at me. I can make out the movement of his finger, the crazy look in his eyes and the wicked smile. "You're gonna pay." A moment later he pulls the trigger, causing an ear-deafening bang to echo through the air.
Blood. There is so much blood. It's seeping out everywhere. My arms, my chest, my stomach, my legs. How can that be? He only shot once, how can I bleed everywhere? I can feel the pain surge through me as I look at my blood-coated hands. Callie. Callie help me-"
"Arizona?" I hear a soft, familiar voice calling my name from above. Something tightens around my stomach as I look up and see an angel looking down on me. She looks so beautiful, magnificent, glowing white wings steady her in the air and a shining pearl white dress waves with the wind. Where she is, there is no rain. And when I look at her, there is no pain. There is light and it's warm. "Arizona, wake up." I know this voice. It's my safe haven. Calliope? "Baby, you're having a bad dream."
Bolting up into a sitting position, I feel sweat on my forehead and temple and a pang of pain in my thigh. Thank God. This time it was indeed just a dream. But what a nightmare. So intense. So real. Feeling the mattress shift next to me, Callie cautiously puts her hand on my lower back, rubbing soothing circles. "Are you okay?"
I honestly don't know what to say. Am I okay? Physically, aside from the discomfort of my thigh, yes. But right now, I am beyond scared and my heart is pounding strongly in my chest as I stare wide-eyed into the moonlit bedroom. Without even realizing, I start crying. Tears drop into my lap as Callie pulls me closer and wraps her arms around me. "It's okay. You're save. I got you", she whispers as my finger tightly clench the fabric of her shirt.
After a while – I have lost any sense of time so I have no clue how long it really was – my tears have subsided and I calm down. I am too afraid to close my eyes. Every time I do, I can see him and the gun. I think, for the first time since waking up after the surgery, I truly realize what I have gone through. A killing spree. A crazy person going mad and murdering people. And I survived. "I got shot", I say, my voice raspy from all the crying. I knew that. But now it sinks in.
"Yes you were", Callie says with a sigh, "and I am so grateful that you are still alive, Arizona." She presses a kiss to my temple and holds me close. The grip my hands have on her shirt loosens a little, the muscles of my fingers cramping from the constant strain. She slowly pulls me down onto the mattress with her, not moving a single inch away from me. I don't know whether she has been waiting for it or if she is just acting on instinct now. But whatever it is, I am thankful for her being close, for not letting me alone with this. "Do you want to talk about it?"
At first, I shake my head. Maybe, if I don't talk about it, it won't be real. But then I change my mind. "I saw him there", I say quietly and then I shake my head again. "I think it was him. Him and his gun. Everything else was black. But there was so much screaming, Callie. So much. I can still hear it. As if I am still actually there." Callie starts combing through my hair with her delicate fingers and it helps to keep me in the here and now. In a way I cannot explain, it makes me feel safe. I tell her more about my nightmare, everything I remember. Some parts are more vivid than others. Others come back to me while I'm telling her about it.
"It is a trauma, Arizona", the brunette states eventually. "Your body has suffered and so has your head. I'm not a doctor by any means, but I think an impact on your thoughts and maybe even on your daily routine are to be expected. It's an aftermath of what has happened." We're both silent for a while. As much as I try to stay awake, my eyelids are getting heavy and fatigue is overpowering my fear. "We should try to go back to sleep. Do you want me to hold you until-?"
"Yes", I answer immediately and nod my head as well. She lets go of me and I turn onto my side, facing the windows and propping my thigh up with the pillow between my legs. I can hear the sound of the waves coming through the crack of the tilted window. Combined with Callie's arm over my stomach as she scoots even closer to me, I hope I can sleep through the night without another interruption. "Thank you, Calliope."
Soft lips brush a tender kiss against the skin of my neck. "Sweet dreams, Arizona."
AN2: So, how will Arizona cope with all of this? Will money become an issue between these two? Will there be more nightmares? PTSD? What do you think?
AN3: There will be one more update for my other story Burn With You next week and then, and I'm sorry to say this, but I will go on some kind of hiatus. Over the next few months I won't spend as much time writing as I do now - for personal reasons. Be assured that you'll get a new chapter whenever one is finished. I don't plan on leaving you hanging for the whole time, but just in case it happens, I am super sorry in advance.