AN: Hey y'all. An update for this story. I'm still not completely back, just working on my stories here and there. You guys have been awesomly patient with me so I really hope you like this one!
Waking up as the sun shines through the windows, I stretch my arms over my head and my good leg towards the foot of the bed. My whole body feels sore and my eyes still sting from all the crying. They are probably still reddish around the edges. Last night was one for the records. For the book of records of shitty nights. It was most definitely one of the worst I had in a while. I don't think I ever had such a diabolical nightmare – or at least not that I remember. And thank God Callie was there to hold me and let me cry. It was honestly all I had needed after waking up. If I would have been alone last night, I don't think I would have got any more sleep for the rest of the night. And usually, when I am with Callie, I don't get much sleep for an entirely different reason. One I surely don't mind. But apparently, I had disrupted my girlfriend's peaceful slumber as well – judging by the cold bed sheets on her side. She must be up for quite a while already.
Sitting up, I run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame the messy curls. After combing out most of the knots, I pull it back into a loose ponytail before I adjust the top that I wore for the night. Just when I swing my legs over the edge of the mattress – mindful of my injured thigh – the door opens and Callie walks in with a tray in her hands. Dressed in a pair of short night shorts – and I mean really deliciously short – and a tight tank top that shows her amazing cleavage, she looks drop-dead gorgeous.
"You're up already", she says and pulls me out of my gawking stupor. There is a tiny pout on her lips that quickly disappears to make room for a bright smile. Why was she pouting? "I brought your medicine and made breakfast. George will be here in two hours to pick me up, but I should be back by this evening. If there is anything you need or want, don't hesitate to call George, he'll stay in Miami with you. Also, I went ahead and scheduled an appointment at the hospital for tomorrow to get a checkup on your stitches done."
"You're going alone?", I wonder. It's not that I am mad. After all, it is her job and not really my place to invade if she doesn't want me to. Her relationship with me and the attention we get have already caused enough trouble for her privacy. Maybe she does not want you to be there with her? I just thought that it would be nice to spend as much time as possible with her. Maybe she really wants to go alone and you're being too clingy. "I just thought that…", I start, but decide against telling her. "Never mind."
"I do mind", Callie states immediately, puts the tray down on her side of the bed and carefully crawls towards me after she placed the coffee cups on the nightstand. "What's wrong, Arizona. Talk to me?" A warm hand cups my chin and gently turns my head to face at her. Soulful brown eyes look at me, questioning where she went wrong. "Did I do something?"
Shaking my head at her, I bite my bottom lip. You're an idiot, Arizona. Your insecurities or whatever it is have gotten the better of you, again. And now look at her. "You didn't do anything wrong, Calliope. You're an incredible outstanding girlfriend. I just… I thought that I could go with you", I tell her the truth. "But, of course it's fine if you don't want me there. I mean, you are you, the most talented singer and actress I have ever seen and I am just me, a super uninspired law-school-student and I-" The rest of my sentence – and honestly the rest of my thoughts as well – are cut off as soft lips take my mouth in a lingering kiss. My eyes flutter close on their own accord as a very skilled hand dips beneath the fabric of my shirt. The kiss quickly heats up and it's only when Callie pulls back, that I remember again how to breathe. "Whoa." When I open my eyes, I catch the brunette staring at me with a mischievous grin on her face. "What?"
"You have no idea how very special and beautiful and talented you are, Arizona. Have you forgotten that out of a numerous amount of submitted stories yours stood out to me? That I announced you as the winner on Ellen's show and how I wanted to stay in contact with you?" Yup, it's official, you are an idiot, Robbins. "You come first. You are my girlfriend. And if you want to come to LA with me, then you are more than welcome to join me on that trip. I just wanted to give your leg the rest it needs to heal and being on your feet – well, foot – all day is not exactly what the doctor ordered."
Upon finishing her explanation, Callie simply looks at me, with her head tilted to the left and her warm gaze boring into my soul. I feel the urge to slap my forehead, like, really hard. You're an even bigger idiot than you first thought, A. "I… uhm… You really want me to come?" Okay, Robbins, enough with the asininity. She basically told you she wants you there! Feeling my face break into a full-dimpled smile, I fling my arms around her neck and pull her in for another kiss. God, I really love this woman. "I'll be ready in two hours", I state, a beaming smile grazing my lips before she shifts again and hands me my medicine and the bottle of water she had put on the nightstand on my side.
OUAD
"Callie Torres, it's so good to see you!", Ellen greets her like an old friend. We're backstage and even though nobody has ambushed the actress or me with questions, I can feel their eyes on me. They're staring, boring questions into my head. "And you must be the lucky girl?", the host addresses me before she turns back to Callie. "Tell me everything, how did you two meet? You know me, the more juicy stuff I learn off camera, the less I ask in front of it", she jokes. "Have a seat, please. It can't be easy to be standing with these ugly sticks. How did that happen anyway?"
When Callie glances my way, I simply nod, giving my girlfriend the green light to tell whatever she feels comfortable with. Gladly taking Ellen up on the offer of sitting down, I sigh in relief as the pressure on my hands and foot eases up. The doctor told me I am not allowed to push myself to fast and to not put weight on my injured leg for at least a week to prevent the stitches from ripping. A sigh of relief leaves my lips accompanied with a growl of pain, just as the brunette starts talking.
"Do you remember the fan fiction contest?", Callie asks after she has told the blonde briefly about the shooting, to which Ellen nods. Right now, I don't feel comfortable talking about the recent events, but I surely remember how my favorite actress and I met. As if you would ever forget the day that changed your life. "Well, meet the winner, Arizona Robbins", she explains, giving me a megawatt smile. You're definitely the winner in this whole situation, Arizona. Calling Callie freaking Torres your girlfriend is not something everybody can say about themselves. A tanned hand lands on my thigh, squeezing it a little.
"No way!", Ellen gasps. "Well well well, you are indeed a very lucky girl." The wink she throws my way doesn't go unnoticed by either of us. Callie laughs it off. "Well, I guess the big question is, how much do you – both of you – want the world outside to know. You've known me for a couple of years and I have always respected your wishes for privacy, but hot shot actress Callie Torres liking women, or at least one woman and dating that woman, that is big news, Callie. And everybody is after the juicy details."
Taking a deep breath, chocolate brown orbs lock with mine for a second before the Latina answers, "I figured, but I'd still like to keep most of my privacy. I – we – went public because we don't want to hide. I don't want to be pushed into a closet and neither does Arizona. So maybe we could just cover the basics?" I nod affirmatively. I have never made a secret of my sexual orientation. That doesn't mean that I flaunt my 'gayness' into everybody's face or tell everybody I meet that I like women. I simply don't hide who I am. "But we'd – I would like to keep her out of the rumor mill as much as possible. Nobody needs to know how we met, what Arizona does for a living or where she lives." When Callie finishes telling Ellen what we had agreed on earlier, she once again looks at me, making sure this was still what I wanted.
Nodding, the blonde eyes both of us. "Fair enough and very understandable." She and the brunette talk a little more about the movie Callie starts shooting in ten days and how much Ellen is really allowed to ask about the actress' personal life, ruling out will definitely be a no go. Soon after, the host of one of the most popular shows disappears to get her hair and makeup done, leaving Callie and me alone.
"Arizona", the Latina starts and faces me before she takes both of my hands in hers. "Before I go on that stage later, I have to tell you something. Even though we haven't talked about it, Ellen will probably address the headlines that covered the magazines and that will lead to the question of me being gay. And my answer will be no."
Letting that sentence hang in the air for a couple of seconds, I feel as if Callie is trying to read my face. But I just stare at her, without blinking. I think I even forgot how to breathe. She is not gay? "So… you are bisexual?", I ask her, fighting the urge to pull my hands away. The reasonable part of my brain stops me, though, telling me to let her talk. But there is a very tiny part inside of me that is afraid of her answer. But she asked you to be her girlfriend.
"I don't like labels. Just like I don't like to be pushed into a closet or into a certain genre when acting, I don't like other people labeling my sexuality. I can honestly tell you that – so far – I have never fallen in love with a man, but I have also never before completely fallen in love with a woman. I've had misinterpreted girl crushes when I was younger. I have been on a couple of dates with two different men, but the feelings didn't develop", she elaborates. But wait. She has never before fallen in love with a woman. Is she falling in love with me? "I like to think of myself as someone who falls in love with a person's character, with the person's soul. Love doesn't care about gender. All I know right now is that when I look at you, I can't imagine being or wanting to be with anyone else."
Brain short-circuit. Is this her way of telling me that she loves me? No, Arizona. Because then she would have uttered these three words, these eight letters that only have one very specific meaning. If she would feel that way, she would have said them... right? But you're already there, apparently. And she doesn't seem to be there. What if she'll never get there with you? And more importantly, what about what she just said? Does it bother you? No, of course it doesn't, I tell myself. Just because I discovered that I am gay when I was in the middle of my puberty, doesn't mean everybody else has to have the same ah-ha-moment. It doesn't change that she is with me. And Callie even said something about unacknowledged girl crushes. So, maybe she had an idea. "So, you're just not-"
"Gay, yeah", the brunette answers with a nod and then pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. I can tell that she wants to say more, but I don't know what it is and if it is another bomb she drops on me. "This is okay, right? Because I really care about you, Arizona. I really really like you – it's actually more than just liking you." YES! "So please tell me that I didn't scare you away with me revelation."
These moments, when Callie opens up and shows me her insecurities, when I realize it's not just me who is uncertain about everything when it comes to her – to us – sometimes, these moments are the ones I treasure the most. As weird as it seems, I relish these minutes, because it's then that I know how much she must trust me already. Now it's time for me to take her hands and putting her right over my rapidly beating heart. Now it is my turn to assure her – for a change. "Do you feel that? This is what you do to me. I might have known that I am very much very gay since I was a teenager and that I would probably never develop feelings for a guy, but I also know how I strongly feel about you. How attracted I am to you as a person and not just you as a woman. So, in a way, I get where you come from."
"Really?", Callie asks me, brown eyes widening in disbelief. Or rather skepticism, doubt, whatever you want to call it. Is your reaction really that surprising? "I thought you'd be... never mind."
Smirking at the gorgeous brunette, I search for her gaze. "I mind", I say, parroting her words from this morning, because I actually do care about what she thinks. "You thought I'd be upset, or... insecure again? Did you think that I would cause a scene?", I ask, trying to sound not judgmental. I am, in fact, not judging her for jumping to this conclusion. Putting myself in her shoes, I would probably not be able to stop myself from doing the same. "I'm not. Why would I? You're still the same amazing, beautiful and funny person I-" Am falling hard for. "Really really more than just like."
"Callie Torres, makeup in five", one of the assistants barks, ruining our moment. Thank you, insensitive idiot.
Placing a chaste kiss against my lips, the brunette eventually gets up and winks at me, "I better get going. I'll see you in a bit." Blowing me one last kiss, I take a deep breath and replay the conversation in my head. This day has taken a totally unexpected turn. But I am glad that it's all out now, and that Callie didn't blindside me with her answer. So what, she's not gay as in she likes solely women. She likes me. And that is what matters.
OUAD
To be honest, I feel completely out of my league while I am sitting backstage, staring at the small screen that shows what happens on stage. Which is weird, considering that whenever I am with Callie, I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. But with all these people rushing around in the back and the glances they shoot me, it just makes me feel super uncomfortable – sitting there all alone. To be fair, I don't exactly interact with anyone. But what am I supposed to do? Interrupt them while they are working? No. Instead I keep watching my girlfriend in silent awe as she answers question after question and smiles at the audience's reactions.
When Ellen is done and Callie leaves the stage, I wait. She knows where to find me – I can't exactly walk around easily these days – and just a few seconds later, I spot her, two bottles of still water and she hands me one. "Thank you", I smile at her. She looks magnificent. Not that I don't know this, because she looks beautiful every day. But there's a difference between her natural gorgeousness and her being all dolled and dressed up. It kind of makes me want to rip her clothes off – but you can't do that in here, Arizona. Just because you miss sex doesn't mean you can attack her whenever you want. "How was it for you?", I ask instead to distract my sudden need.
"It feels good. Even though there wasn't anyone in my life before that I would have even thought about going public with, it's nice to know that I don't have to hide you or us. Our relationship can be as public or discreet as we choose now. But I'm also starving." Her laughter fills my ears and it really seems like we are okay. Before she had to leave to get her makeup done, I wasn't sure about that. Our conversation – even though on my part, everything had been said – had to end kind of abruptly. "Come on, let's get out of here and get some food."
"God yes, please." I need something to eat, my stomach has been growling for the past thirty minutes or so. I also have to take some painkillers. "Can you help me?" Rising to my one good foot from a very comfortable couch is not easy. It takes muscles I think I haven't used excessively in years so it is always a little wobbly without another person's support. Callie pulls me up and catches me with her arms before I topple over and then puts the crutches right in my hands. "Thank you." Oh, I hate these two so much already.
"You're very welcome."
AN: So, here's why no one knew Callie Torres was gay... or bi. And how did Arizona react? Did you like that?