Channel 13

Chapter 2:Cooking with Leon XIII

Disclaimer:I do own my alter ego,Parker and Alex. I do not own Resident Evil,Prince of Persia,Legend of Spyro

I was standing in front of a counter in this everyday kitchen.

Me:"Hello everyone. I've decided to show you some cooking tips. Joining me is my annoying little brother,Alex."

Alex:"Hi."as he played his DS.

Me:"Today I'm going to bake peanut butter cookies. You'll need eggs,peanut butter,sugar,butter,oil and milk."

Alex:"oh,I drank the last of the milk this morning."

Me:"I wish you were more like Parker. Well,we're going to take a short commercial break while Alex gets some more milk."

Alex:"Wait,I'm only 2. You don't expect me to drive to the supermarket myself."

Me:"That didn't stop you from hijacking my sister's car. Now get moving or I'll take your safety pin and jab it through your eye."

Alex flicked me off and left.

Commercial break...

Chris Redfield was running from a Hunter. He hid in a safe room.

Narrator:"Out of ammo again?"

Chris:"Yeah,I continuously use all my shotgun shells right before I need them."

Narrator:"Sounds like you need...THE DAGGER OF TIME!"

Chris:"The what of what?"

Narrator:"The Dagger of Time uses magic sand reserves forged in the Heart of Persia. These Reserves allow the user of the dagger to rewind time. It can even turn enemies to sand!"

Chris:"I'm not impressed."

Narrator:"What if we told you it also turns Herbs into beer?"

Chris:"REALLY!"

Narrator:"Uhhh,yeah."

Chris:"HOW MUCH IS IT?"

Narrator:"20000 dollars."

Chris pulled out his wallet and threw it to the Narrator. The Narrator threw him the knife.

Narrator:"The Dagger of Time,for all your time rewinding needs."

Chris:"HEY,THIS DOSEN'T TURN HERBS INTO BEER! YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD!"

Chris quickly stabbed the Hunter in the eye and threw the knife at the screen.

Back to our program...

I was still standing at the counter.

Me:"Okay,first you pour the baking powder into the bowl."

Alex:"You never said they needed baking powder."

Me:"SHUT UP OR I'LL PUT A SCORPION IN YOUR DIAPER! Next you put 2 eggs in. Then the cooking oil,peanut butter,butter, and milk."

Alex:"Shouldn't there be flour too?"

Me:"IS THIS YOUR COOKING SHOW? After stirring for several minutes, roll the substance into little balls and place them on a tray."

Alex:"Much in the same way he sprayed whip cream on himself to impress Cynder."

Me:"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LOVE! Then you dip a fork in sugar and press it on the balls to add additional flavor."

Alex:"By flavor,he means love."

Me:"WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS! Then you simply place them in the oven and wait for 10 minutes."

Alex:"I-"

Me:"SAY ONE MORE THING AND I'LL SMASH YOUR FACE IN WITH A LEAD PIPE!"

Alex:"I just wanted you to change-"

*******SLAM******

Then I smashed his face in with a Lead Pipe.

Me:"Thank god,some peace and quiet."

10 minutes later...

Me:"Mmmm,they smell good."

I took them out of the oven and take a bite out of one...

Then immediately spit it out.

Me:"WHAT THE FUCK! THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE THIS."

I grab the box.

Me:"THIS ISN'T BAKING POWDER,IT'S BABY POWDER!"

Alex woke up,his forehead was bleeding.

Alex:"Thats what I was trying to tell you,I needed my diaper changed."

I entered my dark form.

Me:"That's it for now. See you next time and hope you won't see Alex too."

Alex:"Shit."

End?

A/N:Don't worry,I'll keep working on the humor.