Channel 13 News

Disclaimer:I don't own Call of Duty or Homefront. I do own Andrew and Violet.

Andrew (A red 2-year old male Allosauraus) was seated at the desk. He was wearing the upper portion of a business suit.

"Good morning reviewers of Channel 13. Welcome to the news. Our top story." He said as he moved to a different angle.

"Call of Duty declared war on Homefront due to stolen techniques in gameplay. It is almost certain that Call of Duty will win,due to it's experience. We interviewed Captain Price earlier this week,we now show you the footage." Andrew said as the footage came up. Captain Price was sitting in a chair in a hanger.

"There ain't no way those wannabes are gonna beat us. We have at least 15 key characters compared to their 5. We also have several different factions,USMC,SAS,TF141 and others. Trust me,those pikers won't last ten minutes." Captain Price said as the Microphone poked him in the eye. Back to Andrew.

"Now to Violet for the weather." Andrew said as it cut to Violet (Purple 2-year old female allosauraus) in front of the weather screen.

"There will be severe thunder storms in Liberty city this afternoon,which will most likely wash out all the blood spilled in the streets. A Tornado ripped through San Andreas Earlier today. It broke open Big Smoke's Crack Fortress,sending 500 pounds of cheap cocaine to Drug addicts in the country side. Also,a massive meteor shower almost destroyed the U.S.G Ishimura,had it not been defended by an engineer on it's turret. Back to you Andy." She said as it cut back to Andrew,who was on the desk bent over, doing something under it,showing his diaper to the camera. He saw it and immediately sat back down.

"Sorry,I was fixing my chair. Tragedy struck the prehistoric era today,after the Leader of the Dino Babies,Truman,was brutally murdered." Andrew said as he started sweating.

"Eyewitnesses claim that Truman's rival and only female in the group,Lebrea,may be responsible. Police got a warrant to search her home and found a bloodstained Machete,which explains why Truman was decapitated. Violet,why is it so fucking hot in here?" Andrew asked as he took off his suit top.

"The air conditioner broke." Violet said as she took off her top as well.

"Lebrea was charged with murder after finding an elaborately drawn plan to kill Truman under her bed. The series has now thrown Franklin,Stanley,and Dak off the show to replace them with new characters alongside Marshall. The reason he wasn't thrown out was ,according to what the producer said, he was really the only baby on the show,the others were more like teens. It's obvious since he was only one who wore a diaper." Andrew said as he sweated even more.

"Sesame street ended after a vial containing the sample of the T-Virus broke and turned many of it's residents in zombies. We show you some footage received by our helicopter crew." Andrew said. The helicopter circled around an apartment building that was surrounded by Zombies. Andrew's cousin,Kaiser (orange 2 year old male allosauraus with glasses) reported it.

"As you can see,the series most memorable characters have all fallen victim to the virus. Big bird,Cookie monster,Count and Groper can be seen in several different areas causing mayhem. Bert and Ernie are the only ones still alive,currently holed up in their apartment building. Elmo was also alive,in his world,but even that wasn't safe from the zombies. Here is the footage of his last moments." Kaiser said.

Elmo was drawing stuff in his room,his fish,Dorothy was also present. Suddenly,there was a knock on his door. He foolishly opened it. A Giant Spider crawled in and bit Elmo on the shoulder. He recoiled in pain as the spider spit poison acid at him. Elmo fell down and the spider crawled on him and began devouring him.

"Bert and Ernie have been requesting that they send a rescue team,but the feds don't think they're worth the money. Also we just discovered that Bert and Ernie also have another survivor. That Gordon guy. According to what he said on the phone,Gordon was jogging when he witnessed several children characters get devoured by zombie dogs. He ran for Bert and Ernies,but a dog tore his left leg off. He still managed to get inside,but is losing blood fast. The military has sealed off the city and is about to launch a nuclear missile strike to wipe it out. Wait,a helicopter is landing on the apartment's roof top! Bert,Ernie and Gordon are saved!" Kaiser said.

Sgt. Foley and Cpl. Dunn entered the building,and knocked on their apartment door,which was barricaded.

"USMC,open up,it's clear." Sgt. Foley said. Bert and Ernie un-barricaded the door and let them in. Gordon was on the couch,his leg was bleeding profusely.

"Oh thank god! We almost ran out of ammo!" Bert said,holding a Colt Python.

"Stop jabbering,you stupid puppet! A nukes gonna hit in 5 minutes!" Cpl. Dunn shouted.

"Oh Lord! I have to get my rubber ducky!" Ernie said,running into the bathroom.

"Jesus,we don't have time for-" Dunn started.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Ernie screamed. Dunn and Bert ran into the bathroom. Ernie was fighting a poison Ivy with a plunger. Bert whistled,and about a dozen pigeons smashed through the window and pecked it to death.

"I rescued ducky." Ernie said,squeaking his duck. Foley helped Gordon up and started walking him to the door. As they left the room,a Grave digger smashed though the floor,causing the entire apartment to break off from the rest of the building. Bert's sock collection fell to the ground below.

"NNNNNOOOOOO! It took me 5 years to complete that collection!" Bert screamed. Dunn slammed the door shut and they ran up to the roof. As Ernie was about to go through the doorway,a bandersnatch grabbed his ducky with it's long arm. Ernie held on with all his strength.

"ERNIE,FORGET THE STUPID DUCK AND GET ON THE CHOPPER!" Bert yelled.

"No,this duck is my best friend!" Ernie said as the monster tore his arm off.

"YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT!" Bert yelled to Ernie as Foley,Dunn and Gordon got on the chopper. Ernie ran for it,but a Lurker(giant frog) grabbed him with it's tongue and pulled him inside it's mouth.

"NOOOO!" Bert yelled as he emptied his Python at the Lurker. It spit Ernie out,but grabbed him with it's tongue again and yanked him off the roof.

"NOOO! MY LIFE PARTNER!" Bert turned and ran for the chopper,but,the grave digger burst from under him and ate him. The chopper took off,just as the nuke hit a mile away and it's massive shockwave wiped out the city. Back to Andrew,who was whispering to Violet.

"I think I'm getting a rash,I don't think I can stand it." He said before he noticed the camera.

"Oh,I didn't see that. Well,thats it for the news so please,watch next-" Andrew said before he reached under his desk,tore something, and threw away his diaper.

"I'm Andrew." He said. Violet came over in just her diaper.

"And I'm Violet." She said.

"Goodnight." Andrew said as he started taking off her diaper.

Sorry if your not into diaper humor. I assure you,it won't appear in all my stories. Please review.