I'm just estimating dates and making them up for the year Annie was born. We don't know when Teddy was born but can estimate that she was about 32/33 in 2001 based on her story which would have Annie being born in 1989 or 1990 I'm
Going with 1990.
Teddy and Annie both had the night off, Josh was working and Owen was home with Leo and Allison. Teddy brought the box of letters with her. Her and Annie were going to sit down and look at the first letters. The first letters were from when Annie was an infant.
"Are you sure you want to do this," Teddy asked.
"I want to see myself through their eyes," Annie said.
"Leslie wrote most of them," Teddy said, "are you sure you want to look?"
"Which ones did you bring," Annie asked.
"I have them all," Teddy smiled, "I always printed the emails so I could add them to the box. Where do you want to start?"
"Should we do chronological order," Annie asked.
"Okay," Teddy said, "the first one is November 1990. They're in order in the box."
Annie asked, "do we want wine first?"
"A glass would be good," Teddy agreed.
Annie grabbed two wine glasses and poured them each a large glass. They settled on the couch with their wine and the letters.
"Do you want to read them yourself or should I read them," Teddy asked.
"I want to read them," Annie said.
"These ones aren't my favorites," Teddy said, "I liked when you got a bit older and could do more. Your school years were my favorite."
Annie asked, "where do I start?"
"November 1990," Teddy replied, "I dated all of the envelopes. The pictures are in another album for another day. We'll do this in small bits as much as you want at a time. But you have to share this with me."
"I will," Annie said, "maybe you can keep the box. I think it would be okay for you to show uncle Owen your favorites after I've read them."
"Okay first letter are you ready," Teddy asked.
"I am," Annie said, taking the first letter from Teddy. She gingerly opened the envelope and slid the letter out. It was written on lined paper in Leslie's neat teacher printing. It reminded Annie of the notes she used to find in her lunch box.
Dear Teddy
We want to thank you again for everything you've done for our family. We've had our precious baby girl for a month and in a couple weeks will be able to cross the border and bring her home. For now we're staying with family in Blaine Washington waiting for the final passport to bring Annie home. I'm not sure how much you want to know about our girl each month. Please let us know how much you would like to know and if you would like us to send photos. We have chosen a full name for Annie, her name is Annabeth Grace McKellar. I know the original birth certificate was for Annabeth. She's definitely Annie. She has the greenest eyes and it looks like her hair will be blonde from the fuzz on the top of her head. So far she's a happy baby and likes being taken for walks and when Dan puts music on. She's eating and sleeping lots and loves being held and snuggled.
We look forward to hearing from you soon,
Leslie and Dan McKellar.
Annie read the letters from her first year seeing the trend of her being a happy healthy baby. The letters were full of love and she could hear Leslie's voice as she read them. By the end of her first year Annie had tears in her eyes.
"What's wrong sweetheart," Teddy asked.
"I can hear mom's voice," Annie cried, "I miss her. Before the incident before Jessica was out of control they loved me. I was loved and I don't know why they stopped."
Teddy wrapped Annie in a hug, "I don't know either baby girl. I wish I did. Do you want to keep reading?"
The letters came every month without fail. Always dated for the seventh. Annie read a letter from when she was 18 months.
Dear Teddy,
She's really grown this month. Annie looks less and less like a baby every day. I've sent new photos of her and a photo of her and her brother visiting the Easter Bunny. I go back to work in a couple weeks and the kids will spend their days with Dan's parents while we're both at school. Annie loves her Grandmere who is starting to speak French to her, if Marie gets her way Annie will be bilingual before she starts kindergarten. Marie taught French Immersion kindergarten and grade one so she knows what she's doing. Annie is an active little one my dad calls her a jumping bean. She continues to love music and dances to anything that you play. In July we're starting a parent and tot music and dance class at the rec center which I think she'll really enjoy. It's taught by my old highland dancing teacher, when she's three Annie can start proper ballet and highland. She's a natural dancer and already stands in first position with her feet turned out. Right now her favorite thing is to go on a bike ride with Dan. Dan has a special seat on his bike that allows Annie to ride in front of him and see everything. The whole time they ride she's full of giggles and smiles. She's the happiest sunniest child I've ever met. Annie is starting to speak in sentences and sing along with some of the songs I sing with the kids. She runs and jumps and is trying to ride her tricycle but isn't quite there yet hopefully by her birthday she'll figure it out. She'd rather play in the back yard than inside. This month her favorite foods are pasta and cheese. We discovered a couple weeks ago that she is allergic to strawberries after my mom gave her one and Annie was covered in hives. She was fine and her smiley self after some benadryl. We have allergy tests booked in three weeks and will know more then.
Thank you again for your precious gift.
Love,
Leslie and Dan.
Annie said, "they always call me a gift and thank you."
Teddy smiled, "they did. You were always a gift or a blessing. These are still what I call your baby letters. You get fun once you go to kindergarten."
"Can we read a few more," Annie asked.
"We can," Teddy agreed.
"More wine first," Annie suggested.
Teddy grabbed the bottle off the coffee table and filled both glasses again.
Annie devoured the letters stopping to add her own memories of events mentioned in them. Her first ski day, dance competition where she danced with her back to the judge because she practiced facing the wall in class. The next letter was dated for January of 1994, Annie would have been 3 and a bit.
Dear Teddy,
This is the first time I'm writing Leslie typically does our monthly letters but I wanted to do this one. I took Annie for her first ski day last week and our little bear was in heaven. She loves the snow and playing in it so taking her skiing was a no brainer. Annie loved being on the mountain and was a little champ on the rope tow, she hardly needed any help by the end of the day. She still needs to practice turning and likes to go straight down the mountain as fast as she can. We're not sure where Annie's love of movement comes from; she's only really happy if she's moving. She's enjoying her ballet and highland classes and goes to her first Highland competition next week, she's in the tot class and is doing two dances, we're borrowing a little blue kilt outfit from the studio.
Life is going to get busier for us in May. Our youngest child is due at the end of the month. Annie understands the idea of a baby this time and keeps asking when the baby will come. Annie has grown a lot in the last few months, she's taller than Chris again but is still one of the smallest in her preschool class. Annie loves school and seeing her friends she's made her first best friend a little girl named Cassie. Annie has Cassie in her preschool, highland and swimming classes. Cassie is only a couple months older but a whole head taller, Annie is the more active and talkative of the two. We have been spending a lot of time with Cassie's family and helping them through the process of a cross border adoption. In the last month Annie has discovered chocolate and begs and whines for it every chance she gets. Yesterday she climbed on the counter to get the bag of chocolate chips out of the cupboard and was eating them by the handful when I caught her. She was also throwing mini marshmallows to Chris, she missed most of her shots but our husky dog enjoyed the marshmallows.
Thank you again for choosing us to be Annie's parents. We hope you are doing well and look forward to hearing from you soon. If you are ever in the Vancouver area please give us a call.
From
Dan and Leslie McKellar
Annie asked, "did you ever go to Vancouver and call?"
"I went to Vancouver when you would have been about 16," Teddy said, "but I was afraid to call. Not of your parents but because of who I was with. Meghan knew about you but Evelyn and Beth did not. Evelyn had gotten tickets to the Nutcracker at some big fancy theatre downtown Vancouver and Owen didn't want to go. I was spending Christmas with them and he stayed in Seattle for the night that we went. I remember reading the program and seeing your name. But I didn't know what you knew about me or if you even knew I existed."
"You were there," Annie asked, "at 16 I did Sugar Plum fairy and the snow flakes, I was an Arabian that year as well and one of the party girls. You saw that?"
"I did," Teddy said, "I was so proud when I figured out it was you. I should have called Leslie and Dan and reached out."
"Why didn't you," Annie asked.
"I was afraid," Teddy said, "only Meghan knew you existed. We talked about you a lot that night in our hotel room. I have the program somewhere. Meghan couldn't figure out why I cried at the sugar plum fairy dance and waltz of the flowers until I whispered that I thought it was you. I wasn't 100% sure it was you either."
"You were there," Annie asked, "that was my favourite year of nutcracker. I wish you would have called."
"I should have sweetheart," Teddy agreed, " I was afraid. I could face the battle field but not call your parents. I didn't know what you knew and if you would be receptive to seeing me."
"They explained what being adopted meant when I was about 5," Annie said, "it was never a secret. I would have wanted to at least hear your voice."
"I'm sorry I should have been braver and called," Teddy said.
"I wouldn't have known it was you," Annie said, "they never used your name with me. I found the adoption papers and original birth certificate when I was in grade 12."
"You didn't know my name until your senior year," Teddy said.
"They told me that they couldn't tell me until I was 19," Annie said, "then I needed all of the paperwork for some scholarship applications."
They kept reading through a few more letters. Annie was adding more to the stories she shared some of the good memories and stories Teddy had never heard. Annie was smiling and laughing telling the stories.
Annie was about to open the one from May 1994 when Teddy stopped her.
"What happened in May 1994," Annie asked.
"Think about your older pair of siblings," Teddy prompted.
"Jessica was born in May 1994 but at the end of the month," Annie said, "her birthday is the 31."
"Do you want to finish until your fourth birthday or call it a night," Teddy asked, "it's getting late."
"I think I've had enough for tonight," Annie said, "can we do more another day?"
"The next set has some of my favorites," Teddy said, "I loved the photos from your first day of kindergarten in your little plaid jumper and knee socks with your hair in pigtails with green ribbons on them."
"We wore them stupid green plaid jumpers until grade three," Annie said, "you were a big girl when you got the skirt, blouse and sweater in grade four."
"It was your school photo in grade 8 that I thought you looked really grown up," Teddy replied, "first time a school picture had you wearing makeup. That's the one Meghan saw on my bed."
Annie asked, "can I see it?"
"When we look at your album but I'm saving that for closer to your wedding," Teddy replied.
"If he wanted to, uncle Owen could see the letters we read tonight," Annie said, "I could hear leslies voice as I read them. I think they did love me at one point."
"I never doubted they loved you," Teddy said, "my dad had a hard time understanding why I went to medical school and chose surgery."
"They didn't understand why I wanted to go so far away," Annie said, "I think if I had stayed at UBC things may have been different. I went away to leave Jessica and her abuse behind."
Teddy agreed, "I think it's Jessica driven."
"It doesn't make it hurt less but it's easier to understand," Annie said, "but reading these. They loved me and wanted me. That's really clear. "
"They loved you," Teddy said.
"Could we try writing our own letter like a real letter," Annie asked.
"If you want me to, I will or we can do it together," Teddy said.
"You write to them," Annie said.
Annie and Teddy continued chatting about some of their memories of trips they had taken when Annie was in school and family ski days. Over all the night went better than Teddy had expected. While there had been tears Annie was calm and reading the letters seemed to answer many of Annie's questions.
"I think I feel better after that," Annie said.
Teddy smiled, "I'm glad."
"Why did you wait until now to show me," Annie asked.
Teddy shrugged, "I was waiting until I was ready to share this with you. We both needed to be ready and I wanted you to ask. I never wanted to force it on you."
Annie nodded, "it was nice to see this set. One day I want to share all my story books with you. Mom had one for every occasion there was always a picture book when we did something new or important. I want to start that with Ali and Leo."
"We loved those books," Teddy said, "the stories are sweet but your notes made me cry."
"All of mine have a note like that," Annie said, "my last one I took to Boston with me. It's in the office. It was about a visit to the doctor. But the notes from mom and dad are too special to share."
"Your last notes," Teddy said, "I have my last letters from my parents."
"She always said she bought one for my wedding day when I was a baby," Annie said, "I wish I knew what it was."
Teddy hugged Annie, "one day you'll find out. Let me worry about that. I have something special for your wedding day. Something of my moms to pass to you. You'll get part of the set and when Ali gets married she gets the other."
"Ali is a long way from that," Annie laughed.
"If she's like her big sister she'll be in her twenties," Teddy said.
"She needs to go to school first," Annie laughed, "or say Annie."
"Nee is cute," Teddy smiled. She checked her watch, "it's nearly one sweetheart I should head home before Owen worries about me. Are you okay?"
"I think I am," Annie said, "thank you for doing this with me."
"Your welcome," Teddy said, "I enjoyed it and hearing the stories from your perspective."
"It was nice to share them with you and talk about the good parts," Annie said, "there really was more good then bad. It was only really hard when I was about 17-21."
"Thats the most recent," Teddy said.
"It is," Annie agreed, "thank you for sharing these with me mama."
"You're welcome sweetheart," Teddy smiled, "good night."
"good night," Annie replied, closing the door behind Teddy as she left.