God Said

Chapter 2

Kate woke up on the floor and grimaced when she rubbed her chin which still hurt. "That crazy lady." Kate managed to sit up and in her peripheral vision she could see her dancing in her living room.

"One and two and three." Once again she lost her wand and this time it hit something that sounded like it shattered which caused Kate to groan. Now she was breaking her stuff. "Four and five and six."

Meanwhile Kate managed to get to her feet and just as she did…"OW!" Kate tilted her head as if that would get her to let go of her ear.

"Do I have your attention?" She pulled on her ear and then let go. "I know you like it rough." Then she giggled and slapped her.

"Stop that!" Kate had had just about enough of her shit.

"The truth hurts, Katie. Too many lies. We're going on another journey." She sounded so happy about it but Kate wasn't all that thrilled.

"Where did you go?" She had been standing right there. Then suddenly she saw her. She was flying toward her, kicking her legs and waving her arms around. Her wand was back in one hand and she was headed her way. "OH, NO!" And just like that she hit Kate square in the jaw which sent her falling to the floor.

Kate found herself lying on an old wood floor and slowly got up. "You do that one more time and I'm going to… Where are we?" Her jaw really hurt so it took a second for her to figure it out. "The 12th Precinct."

"It was very emotional, there were a lot of tears. Alexis was fine by the way," Rick joked and got them all to laugh.

"I gotta say, Castle, we're going to miss you around here." Espo was in one of his better moods. He was actually going to miss having him around.

"Yeah, I'm going to miss you, too." Rick knew he needed to do this. He'd procrastinated far too long. He could end up in a whole lot of financial trouble if he didn't do this.

"Oh look who's off duty," Rick commented as Kate came in, snagging a beer to join them.

Kate saw herself with short hair, white top, and she knew. She knew what was going to happen and didn't need to see this again. Today had hurt a lot.

"Yeah, well I'm not all work," Kate joked with him a little.

"Don't get in a drinking contest with her, she can take you," Lanie warned Castle.

"Oh, I don't need to drink to take him." Kate was flirting with Castle and she knew what she was doing.

"Ooo, listen to this." Lanie had such high hopes for these two. She just knew her best friend was falling for him. She was just fighting too hard against it.

"Castle, do you have a second?" She needed to talk to him while she still had the courage.

"Of course." Rick got up and followed her out of the room.

"Look, I know I'm not the easiest person to know. And I don't always let on what's on my mind. But this past year working with you… I've had a really good time." She really needed to finally say this since her courage was failing her.

A new voice rang out. "Richard?"

"Hey, Gina." Rick introduced them. "You remember Gina, my ex-wife."

"And publisher," Gina reminded him dryly.

Kate turned her back on those three since she didn't need to see this again. She knew what happened. She'd taken too long to just say it and suddenly she showed up.

Kate still didn't know how Gina even got up on the homicide floor without an escort. How had she made it past the desk sergeant? The general public couldn't just walk in and make their way to the 4th floor. It was supposed to be impossible.

Still Kate heard something about back in the fall. God but today had hurt so badly.

"You were going to do it!" Her voice was all happy sounding and full of fun. "You were going to risk your heart and go to the Hamptons with him. You were even going to ask Montgomery for some time off so it wasn't going to be just a weekend."

"It doesn't matter now!" Kate could still feel the hurt.

"You were going to risk your heart and find out if there could be something but you chickened out." She still sounded happy but so disappointed in her.

"His ex-wife just showed up. What was I supposed to do?" Kate turned on this screwy lady in her pink fairy gown, her green wings, and her nasty little wand.

"Katie Beckett, the homicide detective. You should have told him anyway. You should have fought for him. Instead you took the coward's way out." She didn't sound so chipper and happy now.

"He didn't even call!" The entire summer and not so much as a text, let alone a phone call.

"You had a boyfriend!" her screwy lady growled at her in a low voice.

Kate fought back. "Tom. Yes, but I broke up with him so I could go with Castle. He wasn't what I was looking for."

"And you were the only one who knew that." Suddenly her voice was all happy and cheerful again. "You didn't call him, either," she pointed out.

"He had his ex-wife. And her big tits." Kate hated that woman. She had ruined everything.

"Who stayed in the Hamptons one whole day before returning to the city. She left him all alone in that great big house on the beach." Now she sounded so sad.

"What!?" Kate was so sure Gina had spent the entire summer with him. In his bedroom, in his bed, having sex with him. Except when she turned to look at her she was gone.

"The truth hurts, Katie." Kate spun around to face the voice and saw her kicking her legs and swinging her arms with her little wand. Yet her green wings never even moved.

"OH NO!" Sure enough she glided right in and hit her square in the jaw sending her falling to the ground.

oO{}O{}Oo

Ground. Actually it was more gravel and if the hit hadn't hurt, which it did, the gravel had made a mess of her arms.

"If you don't stop doing that…" Kate stopped as she watched a silver Mercedes drive right past both of them and stop in front of this enormous house. Then she watched as her other self got out of the car and gaped at the house.

She was lightly dressed as she allowed Castle to open the passenger door for her, yet she was wearing this light coat and she was smiling wide.

"Oh my goodness, Castle!" Kate walked away from the car a little and stared at the house. "Wow!" She certainly looked and sounded impressed. "So, um, are you rich or something?"

"Well, not James Patterson rich but I do okay." Rick downplayed just how much money he had at this point in time. Kate just hummed back at him.

"I don't remember this." Kate turned and faced her screwy lady that kept hitting her to get her attention.

"This could have been your future. But you chose to lie to him instead. The truth hurts, Katie." Suddenly Kate felt her cheek being slapped and it hurt.

"OW!" She had hold of her ear again.

"Why did you lie to him!?" This time her voice was low and growling at her. She sounded angry. Then she let go of her ear. "Because you lied this will never happen now."

"But…" Kate looked at the house, the car, and watched the front door close on those two. When she turned to face her screwy lady again she saw her flying toward her, kicking her legs, and flapping her arms. "Not again!"

Kate landed on carpet. When she looked up she saw herself and she was naked! She was also lighting candles and then she heard Castle's voice.

"You know when I came out here my cover was that I was going to write a book. Yet I actually have a story I can use." This trip hadn't turned out the way he had intended it to, but things were looking up.

"Oh, Hamptons Heat. You're serious about that, are you?" Kate teased him and finished lighting her last candle. "So do you have an ending yet?" Kate turned to face the naked Castle who was lying on the bed in front of the gas fireplace.

"Well I had some ideas but I'm open to suggestions." As Rick and this Kate watched, his Kate walked around to the side of the bed and climbed onto the bed.

"How about this. The weekend hadn't turned out exactly as Detective Heat had planned it. But now nothing, not even another murder on the beach, could stop her from getting exactly what she desired most," Kate told Castle and since she was now sitting on him she bent down to kiss him.

"That could've been me?" Kate watched as she – his Kate – kissed Castle deeply and she knew sex was going to follow.

"The truth hurts, Katie," her screwy lady told her as Kate looked her direction.

"Not again!" Kate got punched in the jaw and landed on a floor.

oO{}O{}Oo

It was weeks later and Kate hadn't seen even a hint of that screwy lady who had kept hitting her. She had gone to the extreme to add yet another lock to her door. Once she was inside she didn't have just the door lock or that little chain. She had a real lock added so no one was getting in without explosives.

However, everything that had happened and what she'd seen was weighing on her heavily. She presently had several cases that she was working and hadn't solved any of them yet.

It didn't help that since day one Gates had not been only critical of her but deliberately insulting of everything she did. It was like she didn't think she or anyone else was a real detective.

It was a very tired and heavyhearted Kate that was returning home. She unlocked the door, dropped her keys, and locked all her locks. "SHIT!" She had forgotten to stop somewhere and bring home dinner. She wasn't sure she was hungry but really should eat something.

"Katie!" a voice called out. Kate's head whipped around and she saw her screwy lady dancing in her living room.

"Oh, no!" As if her day hadn't been bad enough now this. But this time Kate was armed.

"Come play with me!" She kept dancing and sounded really happy if not a little wacky as always.

"Please, just go away," Kate begged and watched her suddenly fly her way. She was kicking her legs and flapping her arms and headed directly toward her. Kate made herself ready and yet still she felt herself being hit hard on the jaw.

"Aw, shit." Kate rolled over, looked up and saw a smiling face, a whole lot of curly blonde hair, and that pink gown. And her jaw hurt. Then a new voice was added. It had her looking.

Kate watched as other-Kate walked down the stairs and made her way to the kitchen to join Castle.

"And how is Detective Beckett today?" Castle sounded happy to her. Kate even remembered these days. She had at first refused but got talked into it and at first she was actually enjoying her stay in the loft.

Castle hadn't done anything or even tried to do anything. Even their usual banter had gone down. Castle hadn't even hinted at trying to kiss her or even talked about kissing.

However, Kate was feeling a bug and she couldn't shake it. She was beginning to get uncomfortable staying here. "I'm all packed and ready to move out," other- Kate told him.

"You don't have to do that." Rick had already tried to talk her out of leaving. It was looking like he'd failed.

"I need to do this, Castle. I shouldn't be using up all your goodwill. I really need a place of my own. A place to call home." Kate poured a cup of coffee from his coffee maker. His home unit was unlike the one he'd had installed at the precinct. Still the coffee here was better than the coffee used to be at the precinct. She still didn't know how he did that.

"But you didn't move into your own place did you, Katie?" Her screwy lady sounded all happy and bubbly. It was almost sickening to her.

"OW!" Suddenly she had a hold of her ear and was twisting it.

"What did you do, Katie!?" This time her voice was low and gravely. Like she was horribly displeased with her.

"I moved in with Lanie," Kate shrieked as she held her head at an angle, trying to lessen the pain. She hadn't yet found a place so she had lied to Castle. She had wanted out so if that meant lying to him so he didn't feel bad sounded like a good idea to her. She hadn't wanted to insult him.

She yanked on her ear then let go of it. "You lied to him. AGAIN!" This time she slapped Kate and even with the number of times she had been slapped she still hated it and turned her wrath on her.

"It was for his own good." Except she was missing. That had her spinning to try and find her and saw her flying her way. Kicking her legs and flapping her arms. "Oh, no you don't." She wasn't going to get hit again.

Kate hit the floor after getting hit yet again. "The truth hurts, Katie. You lie to him constantly. When was the last time you ever told him the truth about yourself?" And just like that she was gone again.

"I TELL THE TRUTH!" Except Kate also knew she lied to him a lot. Most of it was to protect herself and protect her heart. That one weakness before he had left for the summer with his ex-wife couldn't be repeated. She had built up new walls, taller and thicker walls and if Castle showed any signs of getting back into her heart she always made sure to push him back out.

Losing him would also hurt so she was trapped. Though there was one thing she needed to try again. She hadn't seen Castle in weeks after coming back from her shooting.

oO{}O{}Oo

Kate got out of the taxi and looked up. She knew this building well. She had spent weeks in the loft with Castle. She'd shared dinners with him, Martha, and Alexis. They were actually some of the better times she'd had in her adult life.

Kate knocked and waited for the door to open. Except who opened it wasn't Castle, Martha, or even Alexis. It was a total stranger.

"Yes?" he asked her and waited.

"I'm looking for Richard Castle," Kate said.

"I can't help you." And he started to close the door on her. Kate reached for her badge and showed it to him.

"Detective Beckett. NYPD. I need to speak with Castle." She still wasn't sure just what she was going to say.

"We bought the place just over a month ago. I believe the older woman moved somewhere in the city. The daughter, the one with really long orange hair? She moved to England in preparation to starting classes at Oxford. I have no idea where Mr. Castle went to. I really can't help you. Now if you'll excuse me I have a sick little boy upstairs." He closed the door on her and locked it.

"Moved!?" Kate couldn't believe it. He had moved and not told her.

"You lied to him." The giddy voice of her screwy lady rang out. Kate spun around and saw her standing close to her. She was smiling and looked happy. "What did you expect him to do? You lied to him and ignored both him and all your friends for over three months. Actions speak louder than words."

Suddenly Kate was being slapped yet again. "The truth hurts, Katie." And just like that she was gone again.

But she didn't know what to do. Castle just couldn't up and leave on her. He was her partner. She needed to keep him close. She knew what she had wanted to do at one time but that day was long gone. How was she going to manage it all?

Disheartened, Kate returned home where she walked over to the bookcase that held all her Richard Castle books. She had all of them including the ones her mother had left her after her death.

oO{}O{}Oo

Kate put her coat up since there had been a sudden cold storm coming down from Canada. It had been relatively nice the last couple of days. People were actually outside which was a good thing in her world. Bad weather tended to bring out the worst in people.

Gates called out to her, "Beckett, a moment," and retreated to her desk.

"Sir?" Kate wondered what she had done wrong this time. Seemingly no one did anything right in this precinct.

"Your closure rate is way down, Detective. I had expected better of you. You alone presently have six active cases and you haven't closed any of them," Gates said.

"Sir…" Kate was ready to defend herself.

Gates raised her hand to stop her. "Save it, Detective. You are hereby ordered to take a week of vacation. I want you to come back fresh and start solving your open cases."

"Sir, I don't need time off. I just need some good leads," Kate countered knowing that she was short some good leads.

"That's an order, Detective. It's this or I fire you or you resign. I need detectives that are good at their job. You've shown that your skills are wanting at the moment. So take some time off and get your act together.

"I also received this yesterday." She picked up a letter and looked it over again. "It's from Richard Castle. He has officially terminated his association with the New York Police Department. Not that he had any business being in this precinct in the first place. Now it's just official." Gates sat down and put his letter away.

"That's all, Detective. You have two weeks to start your one week vacation. That or you can put your badge and weapon on my desk now." Gates tapped her desk and watched her leave her office and go to her desk.

"Castle resigned? He moved away and resigned?" Her little world was falling apart. Now she was ordered to take a vacation or be fired.

Montgomery had betrayed her regarding her mother's murder. Castle was involved somehow. He was the one that had carried her out of that hangar. Next she had been shot in the chest. Finally this screwy lady claiming to be her Fairy Godmother had showed up and had begun beating her.

She had even seen herself deeply kiss Castle in preparation to make love to him. She had clearly fallen in love with him. It was just she wasn't ready to love anyone yet. She was a mess and maybe it was affecting her thinking and her job.

oO{}O{}Oo

Kate had listened to Lanie who thankfully hadn't pressured her about why Castle wasn't around any longer. Things were bad enough as it was.

Right now she was looking for her seat in economy for her flight to Seattle. Once she was there she would go to the dock using the supplied transfer from the cruise company. She was going to take a cruise to Alaska.

She'd see some glaciers, go to Juneau which was officially the capital city of Alaska. Not Anchorage or Fairbanks as one would think. From there was a stop at Ketchikan followed by a quick stop in Victoria then back to Seattle and flying home. A seven day trip.

She was never going to tell Lanie that it was her screwy Godmother that had suggested an Alaskan cruise. Kate really couldn't think of anything better and it was easy to plan. She just let her Norwegian Cruise Line representative do all the work.