Chapter 15: Fantastic Inventions: The Pig Generator/Mutant Hunters 1
Have you seen the trailers for Amnesia A machine for pigs? I was pumped by it and decided to do a short story on it and the purpose of the machine.
"Welcome to Fantastic Inventions. Today, we get the details from a man who may have just solved the energy crisis. The one, and only, Oswald Mundus." Andrew said before the screen faded.
The screen opens with a man in a blue suit sitting at his desk.
"Hello, I am Oswald Mundus. Recently, I have created a wonderful new machine with absolutely no harmful byproducts." Mundus said.
Mundus got up from his desk and went down some stairs, while talking to the camera.
"One night, I had a nightmare that I was being chased by a demonic pig who was trying to eat me. Then suddenly, I awoke to the smell of coal fumes. So I simply got the idea to combine these 2 ideas." Mundus said.
"You made pigs made of coal?" The cameraman asked.
"No." Mundus said.
"You made coal made from pigs?" The cameraman asked.
"No, it has absolutely nothing to do with Coal! I'm talking about energy! Pigs and Energy! This is how I created, the pig generator!" Mundus shouted.
Mundus reached the bottom of the steps and turned on a light, revealing a massive room filled with machinery.
"With this machinery, I can use pigs as an energy source." Mundus said.
"How does it work?" The cameraman asked.
"I'm happy you asked. This way." Mundus said.
Mundus lead the camera man over to a table.
"First, we need a pig." Mundus said, picking up a full grown pig and setting it on the table. "Then we strap it down."
"You mean they don't run on treadmills to power stuff?" The cameraman asked.
"Treadmills? Don't be absurd. Treadmills could never be used to power machines. Take the treadmill in Yogi's Gang for example. That single treadmill could never power an entire flying ship by itself." Mundus said.
"Then how the hell do you generate power from this thing?" The camera man asked.
"I was about to tell you that." Mundus said.
Mundus suddenly pulled out a knife and stabbed the pig in the neck.
"Holy shit!" The cameraman yelled.
"Calm down. This is part of the energy cycle. The blood of the pig is siphoned through this small tube, which leads down here." Mundus said.
Mundus lead the cameraman down more stairs.
"A multitude of tubes join together where they will form one massive stream of blood, which will then turn this water wheel, powering a turbine." Mundus said. "And thats not all!"
Mundus unstrapped the pig's corpse and threw it in a furnace.
"Once a pig's body is empty, we simply pitch it in here, coat it in shoe polish and light it on fire." Mundus said, doing just that. "This heats up some water above, which creates steam and powers another turbine."
"Have you tried anything else besides pigs?" The cameraman asked.
"Well, I have tried it with dogs, cats, cows, sheep, hobos, and illegal aliens, but none of them have worked out as much as the pigs. They're easy to obtain, filled with blood, no one gives a shit about them, easily burned, and can occasionally make a delicious ham sandwich." Mundus said.
"Isn't this somewhat unethical?" The cameraman asked.
"Why would it be unethical? They're pigs." Mundus said.
The screen suddenly cut back to the studio.
"Unsurprisingly, there was a large number of complaints by concerned individuals." Andrew said.
The scene shifted to a farm with a regular pig. The headline said "Wilbur".
"Okay, I can understand people wanting to eat pigs, but use their bodies for energy!? Thats just (BLEEP) ridiculous! It's bad enough we have to fear getting eaten, but now we have to worry about some psycho kidnapping us, draining our blood, and then burning our corpses. That man should be arrested." Wilbur said.
Then at a kitchen, there was another pig whose body was made up of the letters P I G.
"Oh my! I never heard of such an awful atrocity! Thank lord I live in word world! I can't help but feel sorry for the poor pigs that have to endure such punishment." Pig said.
Suddenly, a little red ant made up of the letter dragging a C came in.
"Hey Pig, I got your C!" Ant said.
"Oh good, now I can mak N!" Pig said.
Pig assembled the aforementioned letters, and a chicken made of those letters appeared. Then pigs sliced it's head off with a butcher knife made from the letter E.
Then it cut to another location. The pig they were interviewing was named Wibbly.
"I'm gonna have nightmares after what you just told me." Wibbly said.
Then they interviewed Porky Pig, who couldn't be understood.
"Following the interviews, all the interviewees vanished. Could there be a connection between them and Mundus' machine?" Andrew asked.
Meanwhile, in Mundus' machine room...
"N-N-Now h-h-hold on t-t-there! I'll h-h-h-have the l-l-law on y-y-y-you!" Porky said as he was strapped down to a table.
"Oh stuff it." Mundus said.
"H-h-h-h-h-how w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-y-you like it if I-I-I drained y-y-y-y-" Porky started before Mundus plunged a knife in his neck.
"Right then, whos next?" Mundus' asked, looking at a cage that held the other interviewees.
"Coming up next, Mutant Hunters." The narrator said.
A woman in a blue spandex suit with blonde hair and a purple vest along with a brown bearded man in a blue spandex suit with an orange vest stood infront of a window that overlooked a room with an African man strapped to a chair.
"Hello, I'm Milly Azray and this is my husband, Raz Karcy." Milly said.
"We're from Overblood." Raz said.
"In the room behind us is a man infected with the Uroboros virus. Though he seems fine, he is very dangerous and could mutate at any second." Milly said.
"He's weird as shit." Raz said.
"We're going to show you just how dangerous he is by provoking him to mutate." Milly said.
"To do that, I drew some upsetting pictures that I'm about to show him." Raz said.
"For safety, we've erected mutant proof glass shielding on this window." Milly said.
Raz showed the pictures to the camera. They included Barack Obama, a sad face, a kitty and a puppy, and a nuclear explosion. Raz showed them to the guy in the chair.
"He isn't mutating." Raz said.
"Shut up. Okay, since we paid 500 dollars to get this freak here, we are gonna show you what he looks like after mutating even if it kills us. Which it might." Milly said.
"How do we do that?" Raz asked.
"Go in there and poke him with a stick." Milly said.
"Great idea!" Raz said.
Raz went into the room with the african man and poked him in the eye repeatedly with a stick. He screamed, but still didn't mutate.
"Damn it, get back out here." Milly said.
Raz came back out and Milly shoved a hand gun into Raz's hands.
"Shoot him in the chest. That'll work." Milly said.
"You won't lock me out again will you?" Raz asked.
"Of course not, I'm not inhumane." Milly said.
Raz went back inside the room and Milly shoved a refrigerator in front of the door.
"I never said I wouldn't barricade him in." Milly said.
Raz shot the man in the chest several times with the handgun. Suddenly, black gooey tentacles shot out of the man's wounds and surrounded his body.
"Oh my god! It's Venom!" Raz yelled.
"No! Its the Uroboros you retard!" Milly yelled.
The man broke free from the straps on the chair. Raz shot it until the clip in his gun ran out. Then he threw the pistol at the guy, who absorbed it into his body. It swatted Raz against the wall and wrapped it's arms around him. The gooey worms on it started to wrap around him.
"Yuck! I hate those gummy worms!" Raz yelled.
"Well, it appears the Uroboros is consuming Raz to add him to it's body. I shouldn't need to worry, this glass is mutant proof." Milly said.
The uroboros slipped into an air vent and came out of another in the same room Milly was in. It seized her.
"Well, I forgot to seal the vents. Join me and Raz next week when we try to put braces on a chimera, good night." Milly said before she was completely engulf by the uroboros.
The end.
I'm serious people, leave some damn reviews.