Bethesda 2519
In the ruins of a trashed city, under a sky filled with clouds, was a huge building, holding the sign "Bethesda Game Studios". The doors at the base of the building were guarded by two large automatic machine gun turrets with concrete bases.
In one of the top floors of the building, a meeting was being held. Two businessmen, one in a black suit and the other in a white business shirt, were patiently waiting for someone. Just then, another businessman, one in a blue business shirt, entered the room in quite a rush.
"Sorry I'm late, someone blew up my car." He said.
"You should really start taking a helicopter, like us. It's dangerous on the streets ever since the Midway Mayhem gang moved into town. I still can't believe they're trying to remaster Blacksite: Area 51." The guy in the white business shirt said.
"Alright, I've waited long enough. Rolston, what have you got?" The guy in the suit asked.
"I'm glad you asked Mr. Todd Howard #53. For the latest installment of Fallout, we're going to introduce a plethora of new features!" The man in the blue shirt said.
Rolston went over to a nearby projector and put a USB drive in it.
"Since the last game moved the series to post-apocalyptic Venus, seeing as we visited every country on the Earth so far in game, the team has come up with some awesome new original ideas! For starters, the player character can now get Cancer in their Cugeave!" Rolston said.
"What is a Cugeave?" Mr. Todd Howard #53 asked.
"It's a new organ the humans on Venus now have. Don't worry, we created an explanation for why they have it here and not in the last game, so there won't be any continuity problems." Rolston continued.
"Hmm, interesting. What else do you have?" Mr. Todd Howard #53 asked.
"We also introduce another new Fathead Nuke launcher that is made from Radioactive Urine. It does less damage than the others, but it cripples all of the enemies' Cugeaves!" Rolston added.
"Okay, we can always use more Fathead variants. It means we can scatter more of them around the map. We only had 1267 of them in the last game. I wanna break 2000." Mr. Todd Howard #53 said.
"We've already leaked some gameplay footage of the prototype, so we're expecting to hear back from the gamers soon." Rolston continued.
"Okay, I like what I'm hearing. How is the cover art?" Mr. Todd Howard #53 asked.
"It's fantastic! Take a look." Rolston said.
Rolston brought up a picture of the cover art on the projector. The cover art featured the series iconic power armor clad character, doing a handstand on one of the new Fatboy launchers, while holding a bloody spine connected to a giant severed chameleon head. It featured in big words "Fallout 76".
"Not bad, but I think we can do better. It looks a little too similar to Fallout 65." Mr. Todd Howard #53 said.
"Okay, I'll let the art department know." Rolston said.
"Uh, sorry to interrupt, but the leaked footage is already getting lots of comments on Reddit 2.2." The guy in the white business shirt said.
"Great! What do they think?" Rolston asked.
The guy handed his cell phone to Mr. Todd Howard #53, who began reading the comments.
Skylanderfckr says "d00d, y they remake Fallout 76? My 16x great grandpa played that shit and said in his memoirs it sucked hard!"
IwannabeCynder'sBitch says "R U fckrs at Bethesda blind? Why U bring back this garbage? The original on steam and it STILL ISN'T FIXED!"
DreamTravelerClyde says "Oh goody, another remake, as if we don't have enough of those. Can't they at least remake something good and enjoyable? Like Klonoa V?"
Bethesdasuckoff says "F U DreamTravelerClyde! Fallout 76 is the shit! I may be the only player left in the old servers, but I AM KING! Now I can play with new groupies!"
"This...is not the kind of feedback I wanted." Mr. Todd Howard #53 replied.
"Oh, yeah. I was unaware we already made a Fallout 76." Rolston said.
"Well, it's easy to forget for some of us, unfortunately, not everyone does." Mr. Todd Howard #53 said.
"Why was the original Fallout 76 bad?" The guy in the white shirt asked.
"Well Drone 239, our company kinda overhyped the game to ridiculous levels." Mr. Todd Howard #53 started.
"How ridiculous?" Drone 239 asked.
"Bethesda was given it's own Fallout 76 holiday in some states. The problem was the fact we couldn't delay the game any longer and had to release it in an unfinished state. The fan base was not pleased. We got some many death threats over those pre-ordered canvas bags..." Mr. Todd Howard #53 replied.
"Why don't we just change the title?" Drone 239 asked.
"That's out of the question unfortunately. Our new anti-piracy system relies on image recognition of the phrase 'Fallout 76' and attempting to change it in the game's coding would cause it to self-destruct itself and the Bethesda satellite in Mars orbit." Rolston explained.
"What if we added a subtitle to it? Something like Fallout 76: Venus is my bitch." Drone 239 suggested.
"Something like that could potentially work, though I believe 'Venus is my bitch' is currently being used by the new Metal Gear Solid game." Rolston replied.
"I got it! We'll call it Fallout 76 Microtransaction Apocalypse!" Mr. Todd Howard #53 exclaimed.
"Sorry sir, EA already used that for Battlefield -1.00008." Rolston explained.
"Well we gotta differentiate it from the original somehow! Right now, I'd settle for 'Fallout 76: Not the crappy online version from centuries ago' as a title." Mr. Todd Howard #53 said.
"That could work as a title." Rolston said.
"Fine, get to it!" Mr. Todd Howard #53 hissed.
Just then a black Hind attack Helicopter appeared outside the big window of the meeting room. It had the words "Interplay Entertainment" written on it's side.
"Eat this you franchise swindling asshole!" The pilot yelled on the loudspeaker.
Drone 239 and Rolston quickly dove out of the room as the helicopter sprayed it's autocannon across the room. Mr. Todd Howard #53 was reduced to a pile or red goop, which soon disintegrated due to his clone biology. Rolston got on his cellphone.
"Hey, is #54 ready? Good, send him out." He said to the person on the other end.
"Oh well, we're still doing better than Activision." Drone 239 said.
Meanwhile, in a dark, blood-red chapel, a series of men entered and began to make their way towards the seats arranged in a circular fashion around the center of the room. Every man wore a purple hooded robe with small gold foam horns on the hoods. As they moved, they all chanted the phrase "This Broken Soul" over and over again.
In the center of the room was the Master CEO of Activision, a pale blue alligator (The Activision Alligator). He was clad only in a loincloth and his arms and legs were painfully bound to two vertical stakes. An anthropomorphic dragon wearing black robes with foam silver horns on the hood approached him.
"Activision! You are here today to be punished for your heresy against our lord, The Legend of Spyro property!" the dragon hissed.
"Oh come on, we brought it millions when we rebooted Spyro into Skylanders." Activision said.
"BLASPHEMY!" the dragon hissed.
The numerous other disciples in robes threw various objects at Activision, ranging from pencils, beer cans, and burnt Skylander figures.
"The creation of that horrid abomination had doomed the creation of the blessed Legend of Spyro film! For these crimes, you are sentenced to death!" the dragon yelled.
"Oh come on, let me go and I'll give you all digital codes to Spyro: The Remastered Crap Installments for free." Activision said.
This resulted in another hail of objects being thrown at Activision.
"Release the Health crystals!" The Dragon hissed.
"Health Crystals? How is that a-"
Activision's question was cut off when one of the Red health crystals from Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon shot up from the ground underneath him and stabbed right through his right leg, causing him to scream in agony.
"Now release the Energy Crystals!" The dragon yelled.
Green energy crystals shot up from the ground, stabbing Activision through his other leg.
"And now, the Experience Crystals!" The dragon yelled.
Activision let out his most painful scream yet as blue experience crystals shot out from the ground and stabbed him in a very unpleasant place...