"Shadow, do you read me? First, I… I want to… apologize, for the other day… Actually, I just became a grandfather last week, and I was thinking of maybe having over." – The Commander, Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)

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As Commander Tower heard the bell ring, he took a moment to compose himself before opening the door. There stood Shadow the Hedgehog, a bottle of wine in his hands. "Well Commander, I made it. Despite your directions."

"Ah! Shadow the Hedgehog, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!"

Shadow walked in, frowning as he simply respond, "Yeah…"

As Shadow placed the wine down on the table and took his seat, Commander Tower entered the kitchen. There, he found smoke coming out of the oven and panicked, running to the appliance and looking inside. The meat inside was on fire! "Oh egads! My roast is ruined!" As he thought about what to do, he noticed something out of the window – a Meh Burger shop just down the road! "But what if… I were to purchase fast-food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ohoho! Delightfully devilish, Tower!"

Removing his apron, Tower opened the window and started to climb out, only to hear the kitchen door open behind himself. He turned to find Shadow glaring at him. "Shadow! I was just… Uh… Just stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me?"

"Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Commander?" Shadow asked.

"Uhhh, oh! That isn't smoke! It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmmmm! Steamed clams!" Tower rubbed his stomach for emphasis on how tasty the steamed clams were going to be.

Shadow, still eyeing the Commander suspiciously, accepted the story and turned to leave. "Phew!" Tower wiped the sweat from his brow and left the kitchen, running to the Meh Burger. He returned and deposited the bought food onto a silver tray, leaving the kitchen with the feast.

"Shadow the Hedgehog, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers!"

"I thought we were having steamed clams?" Shadow asked as he tucked a napkin into his chest fur.

"Oh no! I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers!"

"You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?" Shadow asked.

"Yes! It's a regional dialect."

Shadow narrowed his eyes. "Uh-huh? What region?"

Tower averted his eyes. "Uhhh… Central City?"

"Really? Because Professor Gerald was from Central City and he never used the phrase 'steamed hams'."

"Oh not fifty years ago, no, it's a recent expression."

"I see…" Shadow reached out for one of the hamburgers and took a bite, whilst the Commander opted to take a sip of the wine Shadow had brought over. He realised something odd and removed the bun from the burger. "You know these hamburgers are quite similar to the one they have at Meh Burger."

The Commander laughed almost immediately. "Ohoho nooooo! Patented 'Tower Burger'! Oooooold family recipe!"

"… For 'steamed hams'."

"Yes!"

"Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled." Shadow showed Tower the burger he was eating, revealing the marks on the meat that indicated they had been cooked on a grill.

Tower hesitated. "Uh y-" Tower wiped his mouth with his napkin. "You know th-" He averted his eyes. "One thing I sh-" He then stood. "Excuse me for one second."

"Of course," Shadow replied as he continued eating his burger, and Tower entered the kitchen, returning a moment later and yawning rather loudly.

"Ahhhh, well, that was wonderful! Good time was had by all. I'm pooped!"

Shadow checked his watch and began to climb out of his seat. "Yes I should be-" It was then that his eyes caught sight of the kitchen behind the door as it swung close. It looked like the whole kitchen was on fire! "Sweet Chaos Force, what is happening in there?!"

"The Festival of the Sun?" Tower responded.

Shadow was flabbergasted. "Th- The Festival of the Sun! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the world, localised entirely within your kitchen?!"

"Yes!"

Shadow calmed down, the explanation satisfying him. "May I see it?"

Tower thought for a moment. "… No."

As Tower showed Shadow out, his wife called down to him. "Dear! The house is on fire!"

"No, honey, it's just a Soleannan tradition!"

"Well Commander, you are an odd fellow, but I must say… you steam a good ham." With that, Shadow turned and began to leave.

"HELP! HEEEEEELP!"

Hearing the cries of the Commander's wife, Shadow turned around, but all he found was Tower giving him a thumbs-up to indicate that everything was fine. With that, he continued leaving.

Tower rushed back into the house as soon as Shadow was gone.

A fire truck raced down a nearby street, its sirens blaring.

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Written for April Fool's Day 2021 :)