This may be my last post for quite a while. This one was half done and I think Dad would want me to finish this story at least. I have no idea how long it will take. He wanted me to write, maybe publish more works, but right now, I am finding it very hard to focus on writing. It took me a week to write the 1500 words to finish this chapter. I will do what I can. I write to stay sane, but it is hard. Especially now. I don't want sanity. I want to curl under a rock and cry but my family need me. After that? We shall see.

Darkness closing in

Somewhere

"Is there anything we can do?"

The assembly defined the word 'odd'. Every one of the over two dozen being in the place was Tenno but that was the only thing they had in common. Almost all wore warframes. The sole one who wasn't in armor had spoken.

"No." The being who knelt in their midst was indistinct. No one could tell what kind of warframe, if any, the Tenno wore. That was totally intentional, even here. Secrets were what this group did and their new leader so much more so. "I am secure and will balance myself. After that? We shall see."

"There has to be something!" The sole unarmored being said sharply, but paused when several of the others looked at her.

The transparent form was not a normal Tenno. The Zarimon child known as Hawk was not a nice being, but she had cause not to be. Everyone here knew that and cut her some slack as a result. Said slack was not infinite and when she screwed up? She was punished just like everyone else. Being treated exactly the same as everyone else was helping her cope better with her changed world. For so long, she had been outside. A monstrous, dangerous thing that no one could trust. Now? She had peers. That was good and bad.

"The Grandmaster is the only one with full access, Hawk" Her teacher Martin was tense, but not from anything Hawk had done. This time anyway. His blue Harrow warframe was almost painfully unadorned. "It is going to be a shock, taking up such a role. It was for Nikis and he had far longer to acclimatize to it."

"I am Tenno, I serve." Came from the Grandmaster and all of the Guardians of the Dead bowed, even Hawk as a probationary member. "I need time to center myself in the power flows. That is not something that anyone else can help me with. I am secure for the moment but beyond that… I knew what I was getting into. He was very clear on what had to be done." A soft sound of aggravation came from the shrouded form. "That said? I had no idea just exactly how many things that crazy Tenno was handling at the same time. No one did. I will keep them juggling until I can get to them. As I say, I am secure for the moment. In time, I will reveal myself fully to you Guardians at the very least. But for now? I must refrain. Both because of the sudden change and because Nikis left me a job."

"Oh?" Came from a Trinity clad Guardian whose posture spoke of wariness. Several of the Guardians tensed, but Hawk did not. She slowly shook her head instead. Everyone looked at Hawk who shrugged.

"Nikis knew his own limits." The transparent girl said quietly. "Better than any of us did. If he left a mission of some kind, it was one he couldn't do for some reason."

"True. Well thought, Hawk." Came from the Grandmaster and Hawk smiled at the shrouded form, but her gaze was pensive. The Grandmaster's camouflaged head tilted at her and the being spoke again. "Are you well, Hawk?"

"I don't know." Hawk replied honestly. "I mean, Nikis terrified me, but he was a known quantity. A truly frightening force both on the battlefield and off, but… He was the Eldest. A legend, both fair and foul." She trailed off, unable to find words even as others made noises of agreement with all of her words. "Are you sure we could not have helped him?" Sorrow and hurt pride warred in her tone.

"No, Hawk, I am not sure." Came surprising words from the Grandmaster and all of the Guardians stared at the shrouded form. "Nikis kept his own counsel on far more than anyone can ever know. Far more than 'I' will ever know. What I have learned is daunting to say the least, but I know it is a bare faction of what he held. I am not Nikis. I know I will need help and I will not be silly about asking for it." The hidden being's tone was kind as Hawk relaxed a little. "I may not be able to speak of things, but what I can speak of, I will."

"I need time to come to grips with this." Hawk said weakly and all the Guardians nodded. She relaxed when none offered censure."I am Tenno. I serve. But…. I am hurting too."

"We all are, Hawk." Martin reassured her. "We all are. Hurting.. Reeling. As Nikis said 'Left holding the bag'." The Harrow clad Tenno shook his head. "Not that I have any idea what that phrase meant, but still… Love him or hate him, Nikis was our rock and now? He is gone. We have a new leader and they have to recover from what Nikis dropped on them. I hope he gave you more choice than he got for the job." That was sour.

"He did." Came from the Grandmaster. "As best he could anyway. It was a hell of a shock."

"You say you are all right." Came from an Excalibur clad Tenno. "Are you sure? Can you be?"

"Not entirely." The Grandmaster admitted. "I have people watching me and for watching out for me. I have allies who must remain nameless for now. Nikis was quite clear on what should be done and as almost always, he was right. Keeping my identity secret for a time will help."

"Help keep idiots for pestering you to death." Martin muttered, not even close to under his breath. "You may need to kill a few for them to stop, like Nikis did."

'More than a few' Someone else muttered softer.

"Maybe." The other was non-committal. "But I am not Nikis. I do not have his raw power, his reputation nor his experience. We lost a lot when he fell, not the least of which was his knowledge base. He left records, but digging through the morass of information is daunting to say the least and I am the only one who can access that."

"Are you sure?" The worried question came from another Guardian, this one in an Ash warframe.

"Lynn set up the safeguards, so yes. I am sure." The Grandmaster said with a growl that was pure annoyance. "Grandmaster Olim might be able to hack his way in, no one else has a chance. Not even Jesse. It is not about power." The hidden being said when others stances turned dubious. "Jesse has raw power, she does not have the finesse required. Yet anyway. Maybe someday, she will be able to get in, but not soon. Besides. Oracle has her in hand."

"No one has heard from Oracle." Martin stilled at Hawk's words. "People have tried to contact her. People have even gone to Titan. Nothing."

"I have talked with her a little. Not much. She took grievous hurts, both in Nikis' passing and in what she did to try and bring him back." The Grandmaster said quietly and everyone tensed. The Grandmaster's next words had them relaxing a bit "She failed. Thank goodness. It would not have ended well and now? She knows it."

"Good." Came from several of the others.

"If there is nothing we can do to help, several of us have work to do and Hawk has homework." Martin had a grin in his voice as the young looking transparent Tenno grimaced at him. She did not curse this time. An improvement.

"So do I." the Grandmaster said a bit primly and everyone chuckled a little as the other Guardians started to vanish. In moments, only Hawk and Martin were left. Both bowed to the shrouded form and vanished. Only then did the shroud fall and the kneeling Tenno resolve into Jac! The unarmored Tenno shuddered a bit and then rose to her feet, a trifle unsteadily. She took a deep breath and then spoke evenly to no one. "We are alone."

"And I thought I was crazy." A hushed voice heralded a new warframe appearing nearby. A battered Garuda warframe. The Tenno was not physical, more energy. She was also incredulous. "Are you out of your mind, girl?"

"Probably." Jac admitted, a small smile crossing her features. Her smile fell. "I was just… So angry. He asked. Explained it all. I wanted nothing to do with them anymore." She slumped a little. "I do still love Aeron, but right now? I hate him too."

"Nikis wanted me to take it." The Garuda clad Tenno said, her tone hardening.

"You told him 'No'." Jac replied, calm again. "You made your wishes clear. He wasn't going to do that to you if you were unwilling after what Hayden did."

"But to drop it on someone untrained…" The other Tenno broke off, horrified.

"I was trained, some." Jac reassured the other. The other Tenno stared at her and Jac sighed. "After I lost Aeron, after I drove him away, I went more than bit nuts. I looked for Aeron, fought, but… It just wasn't enough. I was going mad and I feared what I could do. I sought help, teachers. Eventually I ran into Nikis and he told me to get lost." She smiled a little sadly. "I got persistent and he shot me a couple of times, but he did teach me a little. Grumpy as hell, but he taught me enough to give me a chance to survive. To learn how to cope on my own. That was just the way he was. Survival of the fittest."

"Yes. He was." The other was sad as well. "Jac, I can take it."

"No." Jac replied. "He taught me more recently and I had other teachers. This is my burden now, Anahera, not yours. I am better prepared than he was." The sort-of rogue Guardian Anahera shook her head, but Jac wasn't done. "I need them to think I am hunting Karen. Trying to find Lynn and you. Either to join her or to try and 'redeem' you or something equally stupid." The bitterness in her tone as she made air quotes around the word 'redeem' could have cut steel.

"Jac…" Anahera swallowed hard. "It will kill you. That kind of power nearly killed Nikis several times."

"No, it won't." Jac replied. "I am talking to others. I am going to do this job. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone." Anahera's warframe vanished and a dirty, unkempt looking female Tenno stood in its place, her face unsure. Her hair was a fright and her face dirty, but she radiated power just like Jac. "I did not endure what you did, but I do know betrayal. Betrayal by those I love, no less. You have sworn to Lynn and I accept that. That said? Do you wish to be absolved from your oath to the Guardians?"

"Jac!" Anahera was not faking her shock. Not a chance!

"'Yes' or 'No', Anahera." Jac inquired, but her mien was firm. "I have no right to demand anything of you. You were abused. Your trust was violated and you spent god knows how long floating in space with only madness as your companion."

"Taliana helped." Anahera said weakly, her entire being a semblance of shock.

"I am glad." Jac smiled at other Guardian, but it was melancholy. "I have some authority, but I have no right to command you now. All I will say is this, Anahera. You have every right to your anger. Your pain and fear and hate all are yours by right. If you wish to go your own way, I will not stop you, but I cannot have you accessing the database unsupervised." How, her face hardened. "If you do so again, I will have to take action."

"I…" Anahera slowly bowed her head. "I am a Guardian, grandmistress. I saw a problem and I tried to fix it."

"I know." Jac reassure the other. "I took no offense, Anahera, but that cannot stand. We Guardians have to be able to trust one another not to mess things up." She sighed. "Mess things up worse anyway."

"I know." Anahera said quietly. "Trini- Um, Lynn showed me some of what I missed. I didn't think, I just acted. I have no other excuse, Grandmistress." Then she bent to one knee, as if awaiting punishment.

"Get up!" Jac all but exploded! "You know what Nikis would have done if he saw you kneeling! I will spank you too if I have to!"

Jac's tone had turned downright menacing now and Anahera all but shot to her feet. The much older Guardian stared at the young Grandmistress and then both were laughing! Jac reached out and took Anahera's hands. The dirty Tenno let the new Grandmistress pull her into an embrace. They hugged for just a moment and then both retreated.

"You told Olim that you would only talk to Lynn." Anahera said after her mirth abated. "And now, you say, you don't?" She inquired carefully.

"I am going to have to talk to Lynn eventually." Jac looked away, her face pensive. "But I am not looking forward to it. I am not going to join you. Her." She qualified when Anahera looked worried. "I have my duty now and I cannot answer to anyone else. I have to walk the way I am going. I have to balance myself. Everything that happened… I…"

"Jac, you have a right to your anger." Anahera said softly. "Just like I do." Jac looked at her and Anahera reached out with a slow hand to touch the Grandmistress' arm. "I know what you did. Olim pulled no punches when he told Lynn what happened. He was and is rather upset with what happened to you during the operation that Intelligence ran."

"Does he know about this?" Jac asked, pulling away. She waved at herself, signifying her new status. Anahera let her go.

"No." The dirty Tenno replied. "He may suspect, but he cannot know. I may be lost, insane, all of that, but I am still a Guardian. I never lost that. I do honor my oath. If you command me to keep your secrets, I will. Lynn understands my duty as a Guardian."

"She will probably figure the truth out before anyone else." Jac frowned but then sighed and relaxed. "Formally, I must ask. As shades who do not reside in the database, they fall into a gray area but I know my duty regardless. Are Taliana and Lynn well?"

"As well as can be expected. Their energies are stable." Anahera sighed as well. "Both are seeking to push into new ways and that will be quite dangerous. Taliana still commands the spetznatz, but with the chain of command gone…" She stilled when Jac did. Anahera stared at Jac and then hissed. "What do you know about that? What happened to Eliza?"

"I can't say." Jac said very quietly and Anahera froze solid.

"Oh." Anahera swallowed hard and then shook her head. "Um, I see. Then I won't ask." Jac relaxed just a little as Anahera changed the subject. "I am needed, Grandmistress. Taliana and Lynn both need me as their Guardian. Hadi is doing as well as can be expected. He and Karen had a really bad experience a short time ago. They are recovering. Lynn has them in hand." Anahera's eyes narrowed. "And you are not surprised."

"I can't say." Jac repeated.

"And here I thought spetznatz had secrets!" Anahera groused, but she was smiling a bit forlornly. "You are new. You may not have Nikis' scary reputation or his incredible depth of experiences both good and bad, but you are willing and able. We need to be able to rely on each other, we Guardians." She bowed her head, but not subservient. Respectful. "You can rely on me, Grandmistress. We may not always agree on what to do or how to do it, but you have my loyalty until or unless you lose it."

"And you have mine for the exact same stipulations." Jac bowed her head the exact same way Anahera had and the two unlikely peers shared a grim smile.

"Lynn will ask." Anahera said as she retreated a step, her head coming back up. "The… manipulation you endured." She said very delicately. "Has it been cured?"

"Yes and now." Jac replied. "I still have cravings. I still feel the urges. But I am stronger than the programming. Than the drugs." Hate colored her tone for a moment, but then varnished as she cloaked herself again. "I am coping but I will stay away from male Tenno for a bit. It is hard."

"I can't imagine." Anahera said weakly, her face ashen. "I know we are just as vulnerable in meat forms as humans, but…" She swallowed hard. "Jac… Are you going to be all right?"

"I don't know." Jac admitted, her form shimmering a bit. "Every record. Every test. Every… single person I have talked to has said the same things. It isn't supposed to be curable. I don't know what she did or how she did it, but Lady Shadow freed me from what was done. I was drowning in those feelings and she pulled me out of them. I still feel them, but they cannot touch me."

"That is not normal, Jac." Anahera said weakly. "Iriana and Brianna could not help?"

"I know it its not normal." Jac snapped and then was quick to continue when Anahera recoiled. "Sorry. I am sorry. I am upset. I still feel the things and yes, Iriana and Brianna helped. Tanah did as well, but they won't go away. Just like what was done to Mishka, this was done using Orokin tech and all of the ones who can fix that are not ones we ever want to trust." Anahera made a face but nodded.

The few remaining known True Orokin who still existed pretty much defined the word 'evil'. Ballis of course, Lorinos and whoever had helped him escape from his prison of torments, plus god only knew how many others had escaped the Collapse in nefarious ways.

"Go on. I will be in touch." Jac promised and then gasped as Anahera embraced her again. "Anahera…" She said sadly as the other Tenno cried. "It is okay. I am alive. There is hope."

"I…" Anahera released the Grandmistress, stepped back and bowed. Then she was gone.

Jac sighed deeply and then shook her head. She looked to the side where a being shrouded in a long, green cloak shimmered into being and shook her head again. The hidden being made no motion and did not speak, but radiated malevolence.

"Hope is pretty much all we have, isn't it, Victor?"

Instead of answering, the green cloaked being nodded to her and varnished as well. Instead of worried, Jac smiled as she went back to her meditation. She wasn't alone.