DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE.
The rating of this story has CHANGED from T to M now, due to sexual content. Please bare this warning in mind if you decide to continue reading.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Natasha's body was practically dripping in seat as she punched furiously at the swinging bag in front of her. Her knuckles were practically raw, and all her muscles begged her to stop, but she blocked out the aching. The chains holding the bag up in front of her gave one last clatter of protest before snapping completely.
"I thought I was the only one who could do that."
That voice. His voice.
She spun around as it cut into her, speaking directly to her heart and gripping it.
Steve stood in the large doorway of the barn, in his usual pose of leaning against one shoulder with his arms crossed over his chest. But, unlike normal, he was now tense as he awaited her reaction. The way the light behind him hit the side of his face and made his handsome features even more stunning was practically cruel. Her eyes scanned him from head to toe, awaiting to see bruises or scrapes or anything that would justify why he'd been away so long. There wasn't even a scratch on him. At his feet was a bag. "Hi, Nat."
Torn between wanting to launch herself at him to hug him or pummelling him into a pulp, she stayed where she was. "'Hi, Nat'?" She echoed with a trembling voice that she made no attempt to prevent. How could she, when so many emotions were swarming inside her? "You disappear for an entire week, and all you have to say for yourself is 'Hi Nat'?"
His eyes regarded her carefully, as someone would treat a coiled snake. Cautious. Respectful. "There so many things I need to tell you-"
"How about starting with where you've been?" Natasha demanded hotly, her voice ringing loudly through the barn. "It's been a whole week. You haven't sent a single message to at least confirm that you were alive." For a whole week, she hadn't slept. She'd barely eaten. Every time she did either of those things, she felt sick to her stomach. She'd felt so rude, sat at the table with the Bartons, eating without tasting any of the lovely things that Laura had cooked. She'd tried to engage in conversations, but her heart really wasn't in it. They could all sense that, even little Lila.
"I'm sorry about that, Natasha. I really am." He took a tentative step forwards, clearly sensing he was better off keeping his distance right now. "T'Challa took Bucky and I back to Wakanda after...after everything. They can help him there. Fix what Hydra did to him, with time."
Raising a chin, she spat out, "And whilst you were off on that exciting adventure, you didn't think that maybe I'd want to know you were okay?" She was thankful that Clint and his family were in the farmhouse, which was far enough from the barn that even her shouting wouldn't disturb them. "I've been going crazy, Steve. You could have been seriously hurt, or dead, and I would never get to see you again."
Again, he took another small step towards her. "Nat, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry, and I have no idea how I'm going to make it up to you but," He swallowed, lost for words. "I'm here now."
A snort left her. A bitter, cold snort. Folding her arms over her chest, she snarled, "And that's supposed to make everything okay, is it? I let you get to that jet, I went against everything my training has ever taught me, because I love you. Yet you go and get yourself almost killed and don't even think to-"
Words failed her, as she remembered what Tony had said. Tears burned behind her eyes, and as much as she refused to let them fall - as much as her entire body started to shake from the effort of not crying in front of him - she couldn't help it. Her hands covered her face, as if by doing so, she could hide what was happening. She was breaking down.
But, if he's so ready to drop all of us for Barnes, aren't you worried that his past will always come first to him? That the life he has with us - with you - can never compete with the life that he didn't choose to leave?
Tony had said those words out of anger towards the entire situation, but he had no idea the raw nerve he had struck. Steve's actions may have felt like a knife in the back, but Tony's words had driven that knife deep into her heart.
I know what Steve is to you. I've known for a long time.
What was Steve to her now? She still loved him, and she doubted she'd ever be able to recover from losing him, but what if Steve was ready to let her go? What if he truly chose his past over her? Her traitorous heart had skipped at the sight of him, but what if the only reason he had come to see her was to say a final goodbye? That thought alone caused the tears she'd been trying to hold back to finally cascade down her face. Once they started, she feared that they would never stop.
Moving so silently that she couldn't even pick up on his footsteps, Steve was suddenly in front of her. His arms were around her, and she pressed herself into his chest, her tears dampening his shirt. As each sob racked through her body, Steve held onto her a little tighter, burying his head into her neck as her heart pounded against her chest so painfully that she felt as if it was going to burst out of her body and shatter on the ground.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He whispered to her, and that loving, familiar nickname struck deep. Steve very rarely ever saw Natasha cry, but it always broke his heart, especially now, when he was the cause of it. "I've been stupid. I put everyone at risk, because I couldn't lose him, but in protecting him, I hurt you. God, if anything had happened to you...I love you so much, Nat. So, so much. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through."
Her hands clung him, pressing against his shoulder blades. This time, when she found it in herself to speak again, her voice was quiet. "You made me fall in love with you, with your selflessness and your compassion, with your way of seeing the good in even the most damaged of souls. Then, you disappear for a week and leave me to imagine all the worst possible outcomes that terrified me. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't function without you, Steve. I couldn't breathe."
This storm of emotion coming from her was more than he could ever have prepared himself for. He felt her heartache, the heartache that had been the result of his selfish, foolish decisions. It tore into him and ripped him apart. He wished more than anything that he could go back in time and spare her that feeling, to change how he had handled things. God, he'd been so stupid…
Yet, he couldn't find it in him to let go of her, both physically in this moment, and for good. The harsh reality that he had the potential risk of losing her forever hit him like a ton of bricks. "I wanted to contact you the second I arrived in Wakanda, but the fight with Tony left me more damaged than I originally thought. It took a long time for the serum to help the healing process. To aid it, T'Challa's sister put me under, so my body could focus on repairing itself."
Natasha's breath caught at the thought of him being in such a broken state. She could picture it in her mind; his powerful body broken and beaten. She'd seen how bruised and bloody Tony had been, so it was easy enough to imagine how Steve had looked. She knew he would have fought with everything that he had. It was almost enough to make her forgive him for the lack of contact, and with a shaky breath, she told herself that he was really okay.
His hand stroked her back lightly, as if he feared she would recoil from his touch. She didn't move an inch. "When I woke up, I thought only of you, of how badly I missed you, and how much I wished that I could just get back to you, even if you pushed me away for good. I spent a whole day in Wakanda, and then as soon as I was deemed fit for the journey, I came back. I came home, to you. I'll spend the rest of my life hating how I've handled things between us, and not just over the past few days, but ever since Lagos. The last few weeks of not being with you, of not holding you and us being there for one another has destroyed it. It was all my fault. If I hadn't acted so narrow-minedly, we wouldn't be in this mess. But, even when things were difficult, my love for you never changed. Never wavered. Even when Sharon kissed me, I -"
Her head snapped up at that. "Sharon Carter did what?" When she shoved herself out of his arms, he didn't try to stop her. There was a guilty flash in his eyes that made her stomach churn. The temptation to hit him was overrun by the overwhelming feeling that she was about to throw up.
"I thought Sam would have told you by now." He admitted sadly.
"I haven't seen Sam. I haven't seen anyone, apart from Rhodey and Stark." She bristled, but more at the reminder of exactly what Tony had said to her in their last conversation. "Clint brought me here. So, no, I had no idea about your little moment with Sharon Carter."
"It meant nothing, Nat." He said instantly.
It wasn't anger that filled her veins. It was jealousy, in the purest form, at the thought of anyone on the entire planet kissing Steve. What made it worse was that it happened to be Sharon Carter. But, alongside that jealousy, was hurt. Had she really been waiting like a fool for a man who had allowed someone else to kiss them?
He was quick to keep explaining, as if sensing that Natasha was ready to bolt. "I wasn't paying attention to what she was doing. She'd just returned my shield and Sam's wings, and I was going to get them and leave. Then, she kissed me. I swear, Natasha, on my life, that as soon as she kissed me, I pushed her away." Steve looked like he wanted to touch her, to take her hands in his or cup her face. But, he didn't dare. He knew better. "It felt so wrong, Natasha. There is no one in this world for me, apart from you. Please, you have to believe me. I told her that there was someone else. Someone that I love."
Natasha folded her arms across her chest, hugging them around her protectively. "You still love me?" The vulnerability in her voice made her wince, but she couldn't help it. When it came to Steve, her heart was wide open, exposed.
His gaze softened. "Throughout all of this mess, I never once questioned how I feel about you, even though as of lately, I've given you plenty of reason to doubt that. Natasha, there is no one else for me. I want you, and only you, for the rest of my life. But, I understand if you don't-"
Quickly, her fingers covered his lips, effectively silencing him. Even that small touch was enough to cause sparks created by her touch. "How I feel for you has never changed, Steve. You drive me insane, yes, and you probably always will, but I could never stop loving you." She told him, and she meant every single word without a touch of fear. She had fallen for this man completely, there was no denying that, but there was no part of her that regretted it. "Even if I could easily wring your throat for behaving so recklessly lately."
A small, deep chuckle escaped from him, and it lifted both of their hearts. Finally sensing it was the right time to do so, Steve closed the gap between them so he could cup her face in his hands, brushing away the tears which had started to trickle down her cheeks. Natasha closed her eyes as his breath fanned across her face.
Steve's forehead pressed against hers, the tips of their noses touching ever so slightly, and their heartbeats finally steadied.
"Marry me, Natasha."
Instantly, her eyes flew open, and she stared up at him, her mouth parting slightly. For the first time in her entire life, Natasha Romanoff was completely, utterly speechless.
Instead of racing madly, her heart slowed even more, a gentle thud inside her chest as she processed exactly what had just come from his mouth.
Softly, he took her hands in his, placing a kiss on each palm. "One thing this life has taught me, is that I can't take a single second for granted. When I awoke from that ice, I didn't have a place in the world. I didn't have a sense I belonged her. I didn't know who I was as a person. I knew who Captain America was supposed to be, but I had no idea who Steve Rogers really was, not in this world. But, you were the first person who looked past the shield. You were never afraid to call me out, and you made me realise a lot about myself, and the person who I wanted to be. I've tried every day since you returned from Russia to become a man deserving of you. You made me see my place in the world, and that is by your side. For as long as you'll have me. It would be the greatest honour to be your husband."
Words failed her, even though several of them burned at her tongue, one in particular. But, her brain just couldn't keep up with the fact that Steve Rogers was asking her to marry him. That he wanted to marry her, so much that she'd never seen him speak with such conviction before. It made her whole body feel like it was glowing, basking in his love and adoration.
He squeezed her hands. "I know this may seen sudden for you, but I assure you that this is not an impulsive decision. Before all this mess happened with the Accords, I was planning on proposing to you. Perhaps, not this soon, but I had every intention on asking you to marry me. It's just, with everything that has happened, it's shown me that I don't want to waste another second. We can get married, in Wakanda, once T'Challa has found his footing as king. We wouldn't have to change our names, or constantly have to look over our shoulders. It can just be us. I want to marry you, Natasha, to have you as my wife."
"I-I-" Once, there had been a time when marriage had never even been a thought in her mind, not even the smallest of possibilities for her. She hadn't even wanted it. But, then Steve had entered her life, and everything had changed. Now, as she looked into his beautiful blue eyes - unsure as he waited to hear her answer - she realised that she wasn't scared of this. "You need to ask me."
Steve knew her so well that her statement did not surprise him. Of course, Natasha would keep him on his toes, even in this situation. So, his eyes sparkled as he asked, "Natasha Romanoff, will you marry me?"
Her smile widened so much that it hurt slightly, but she didn't care. "Yes." When the word was spoken from her lips, she felt no pressure or fear. Her answer was pure and confident, excited.
Steve's eyes widened slightly, as if he was surprised by her answer.
So, she covered his hands on his cheeks with her own, her fingers between his. "Yes." She repeated softly, her lips curving into a smile that was reflected on his perfect face. "Yes, I'll marry you, Steve. I love you, more than you'll ever know."
His lips were against hers just as the last word escaped her, and she returned the kiss with equal passion. Kissing him opened the aching in her chest and banished it for good, as his scent of cinnamon surrounded her and his arms wrapped around her. It had been too long. Too long since they had last kissed, since they had last spoken about their feelings. He was back, he was alive. He'd come home to her.
Someone cleared their throat, but when their kiss ended reluctantly, Steve did not remove his arms from around her. Smiling, Natasha made no move to step away from him, either, keeping own her arms locked around the back of his neck.
"Well, I'm glad to see this story has a happy ending." Clint commented, a smug grin on his face. "Hill owes me twenty bucks."
"You betted that Natasha and I were together?" Steve asked, but the amusement was clear in his voice. He had contacted Clint before arriving, and the two men had had a long discussion about Steve's intention on asking Natasha to marry him. Clint had given him a hard time at first, like a father would have done, but in the end, he told Steve that he couldn't think of a better man who would believe in her, love her even when she couldn't see her own goodness, and protect her till his last breath. "When? Before Ultron?"
Clint's chuckle was the answer; it had been after Ultron, after his discussion with Natasha at the facility.
"You bastard, you knew we were!" Natasha glared at him playfully.
Clint's grin only widened. "Yeah, but you and I both know, Natasha, how much more fun it is to play a game when you know you're going to win." His eyes flicked between them, as the redhead rolled her eyes. "I take it you said yes?"
"I did." She informed him, a little nervous to see how Clint would react. But, on their way here, they had spoken about the entire situation, and his words now rang through her mind.
"I know that Steve's handling this completely out of character, but a fool could see he loves you. He warned everyone, before that stunt at the airport, that you were off limits. Not because he thinks you're weak, or in need of protection, but because anything happening to you is his biggest fear. He'll realise his mistakes, but I know that all along, he never intended on hurting you, Tasha."
Natasha breathed out as she once again processed these words, with a clearer mind than she had the first time she had heard them. She looked up at Steve and raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to kick his ass, or should I?"
Instantly, Clint protested, "Oi, I was supportive of his intention on marrying you, but I can retract my blessing at any time, kid." But, he winked, showing that he was only joking, and Steve relaxed against her instantly. "I just came down here to say that I'm happy for you both. But, I'm definitely happier to see that my barn is still standing." He gave Steve a pointed look. "She's gone through about twenty punching bags."
Guilt was all over Steve's face, but Natasha leaned up to kiss his jaw, and he smiled as soon as her lips touched his skin. One of his hands stroked up and down her spine.
"I'm assuming you two would like some privacy?" Clint checked, flashing that cheeky grin of his once again as he intentionally whined them up.
"Yes," They both spoke at the same time, neither of them blushing a single bit, and Natasha beamed.
"Alright, well then you have my permission as owner of this fine estate to use the suit upstairs." Clint said. "No one will be disturbing you. But, in return, you must promise to leave this barn as you found it, and that's in one piece, kid." His gaze was firmly on her, and she felt targeted. Of course, no one could ever think that Steve Rogers was a beast in the sheets. Oh, how typical.
Letting out an idnigant noise, Natasha flipped him off with a finger. Clint returned the gesture before leaving, the door of the barn closing behind him.
Steve looked down at her with a questioning expression on his face. "You mean to tell me that there's been a secluded suit here all this time, and yet you failed to mention this last time we were here?" He checked.
Unable to help herself, Natasha giggled, "It may have slipped my mind…"
"I almost had to share a room with Tony. I had to-" He shook his head, and when he next looked at her, there was a darkening gleam in his eyes. "I'll get you back for that one, sweetheart."
"Oh, I have any hope that you will, now that this time we won't have to be quiet." She said suggestively. "Any suggestions on how we should celebrate our engagement, and make the most of our newly found privacy, Captain?"
Instantly, his hands were on the back of her thighs and she was hoisted up. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and her laugh was captured with a searing kiss. "I have quite a few." He promised against her lips.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Natasha's back arched, her hands fisting into the cotton sheets at her sides as Steve brought her over the edge for the third time that night.
As she lay panting, Steve lifted his head from between her thighs, a satisfied grin on his face. If she had it in her, she would have made a comment, but she was currently floating on a cloud of pure bliss.
Kissing and nibbling at her thighs, Stever crawled up her body, setting himself between her legs so she could feel him against her. As his hard length brushed against her soaked and throbbing core, she could barely speak as he pushed inside her. She was still so sensitive, but that only brought her even more unbelievable pleasure as Steve settled all the way inside her.
"Steve," She groaned out, her words coming out in laboured pants as she said, "You need to move. Please, move."
He kissed her neck. "I've told you once before, Nat, that you never have to beg."
Clenching around him, Natasha let out another low noise as Steve started to move his hips. Compared to their first round, his thrusts were now considerably more lazy. Before, he had practically tackled her to the bed, and they had been a mess of writhing limbs and quick fingers as they had undressed each other. Weeks without being with one another had caught up with them both quicker than expected, and it was as if they just couldn't get enough. Hands stroked and caressed, mouths kissed every inch of skin available, and Natasha had already been ready for him the moment they had crossed into the room.
But, even though they had been frantically jutting against each other as they sought their much-needed release, Steve had whispered how much he loved her into her ear, and she had returned the affection in between moans and sloppy, needy kisses.
This time, though, Steve seemed determined to draw it out. His hips rocked into hers slowly, pulling him almost all the way out before he sank back in to the hilt. Natasha's back arched as her hips rose and fell in time with his, desperate to feel him more, deeper.
Steve's hand crept in between their bodies, his fingers brushing over her hardened nipple before rolling and pulling it. Her own hands clawed down his back, leaving behind angered red lines, like a bear marking its territory.
When his lips started to suck at her pulsepoint, Natasha had started to loose herself in the sensations that were curling up inside her. Multiple orgasms in one night had always seemed like such a fantasy before she had met Steve. This wouldn't be the first night were the two of them would experience such an event, but Natasha was determined that it would definitely be the time for a new record.
If they continued the way they were going - and, she had no doubt they would, what with their high stamina and the fact they'd had a few sexless weeks lately - a record would definitely be made.
"Fuck, Nat," Steve choked out, his hips pommeling into her frantically, at a pace that the average human man would strive for, but probably would never be able to maintain. But, Steve Rogers certainly was not an average human man, and Natasha relished in that reminder as he struck deep inside her, hitting that sweet spot over and over again.
"I'm so close." Her nails scraped up his back and back down to his hips, where she gripped him. She moved one leg out to the side slightly, the new angle helping him hit that spot even more. "Oh, my-"
Her release was like the floodgates had been opened at last. It rocked through her entire body, all the way to her toes, so she became a trembling, sweaty mess underneath him. As she fluttered around him, Steve followed close behind, his mouth devouring hers as they rode out their releases together.
His lips ran along her collarbone, tasting her sweaty skin. "I've missed hearing your moans." He said, his tongue flicking out over the shell of her ear "The little whimper you always make just before you climax. How good you feel when you tighten around me."
Heat flushed her body, as it always did whenever he talked like this. "We had a lot of time to make up for." She reminded him, enjoying the feeling of his lips mapping out the skin of her neck, while his hands stroked her hips in slow circles. He was still inside her.
He raised himself up her body, capturing her mouth in a slow, burning kiss before dropping to her side, pulling out of her at last. "Oh, I'm nowhere near done with you." He informed her, and she smiled at the promise. "I just-"
"Need a moment to catch your breath?" She teased, turning her head to look at him so he could see the sparkle in her eyes. "So much for super-serum stamina, Rogers."
He rolled his eyes. "That's not what I was going to say. Believe me, I could just as easily have my way with you right now without missing a beat, but we have all night."
"So, pillowtalk?" She asked, without a trace of sarcasm or disappointment in her voice. She'd never spoken to someone after sex before, but with Steve, it was something she adored. It brought them closer, made them understand each other in much more depth.
He returned her smile. "Come here, trouble." His arm was around the back of her shoulders as she shuffled closer, her body easily fitting against his. He moved so he was on his side, his other hand resting on her stomach, while his head was near her shoulder. "I really missed you, Nat, and not just like this. I missed how you keep me grounded, how you're never afraid to call out my bullshit but how you always have my back."
Snuggling even closer to him, Natasha could feel the gentle thud of his heart. "I have no intention of ever letting you go ever again." She declared. "Wherever you go, I go."
As Steve pressed a kiss to her temple, Natasha was about to snuggle closer to him, when a sudden thought popped into her head. Unable to ignore it, and powerless to prevent the smirk that was evident in her voice, she asked, "So, tell me, was the kiss with Sharon really that awful?"
Steve's head was thrown back as he laughed, the sound a joyous rumble to Natasha's ears, giving her another reminder of just how much she had missed being with him over these last few weeks. His laughter really was one of her favourite sounds in the entire world.
"It was three seconds, if that, and I'm sure Sharon Carter is not a terrible kisser." He was quick to finish that train of thought, because he could feel Natasha about to sit up and glare at him. "I just know that kissing anyone but you would feel wrong. I know you're it for me, Natasha. My soul-mate. I could never even imagine being with anyone else but you."
More than satisfied with his answer, Natasha decided to let him off for that kiss, and never bring it up again, unless she was either drunk or provoked. "I'm glad to hear it, considering you asked me to marry you earlier. I'd hate to feel as if my fiancee was having doubts already." The word fiancee was certainly unfamiliar on her tongue, but she liked the way it sounded. From the glow in his blue eyes, Steve clearly very much enjoyed it too.
His laughter was softer this time, but he hugged her tighter, just slightly, his thumb brushing over her skin in lazy strokes. "Never. I can't wait to marry you, Nat." He whispered, and before they lost themselves in each other again, they allowed themselves a few minutes of peace, listening to the sounds of their breathing with the soft sheets against their skin.
~0~0~0~0~0~
The next morning, as the sunlight washed in from the window of the barn suit, Steve Rogers couldn't remember a time where his heart had felt this full. Natasha's head was resting on his stomach, and he could feel the cold metal of his dogtags that hung round her neck. Although her fingers were still bare, he couldn't wait for the day when he'd see the flash of a wedding band.
It was still completely surreal to him, that this beautiful, powerful woman was his, and that she had agreed to marry him.
As he stroked her back absentmindedly, he leaned back against the headboard and just let the peaceful silence was over him.
Although the sunrise would have been spectacular that morning, Steve had had no intention on leaving this bed, even for a moment. He was more than content to wait for Natasha to wake up, as the view of the woman sleeping beside him could rival any sunrise.
He felt Natasha stir before her sweet voice found his ears, "Good morning,"
"Good morning, beautiful." He returned, smiling as she moved so she could look up at him. He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "How are you feeling?'
Her smile was positively radiant, the type of smile that lit her emerald eyes so they shone like green stars. It was his favourite smile of hers, with that devilish grin coming in at a close second. This one, though, was his favourite because he knew that even her heart was smiling.
"I'm feeling well rested after a night of the best sex I've ever had." She said, in true Natasha style of being perhaps a little too honest, but Steve didn't mind. Years ago, at the start of their relationship, he would have blushed at such a statement. Now, nothing but pride and affection warmed his chest. She shifted to lean over his body, making him fall onto his back, grinning as her mouth hovered above his. "And, if I remember correctly, the love of my life asked me to marry him. Please, tell me I didn't dream that part."
"You most certainly did not." He confirmed. The hand which had been drawing circles across her back moments ago moved to her hair so he could gently ease her mouth down to his, kissing her sweetly. "I love you."
She smiled through the kiss. "I love you, too." She quickly glanced at the alarm beside the bed. "It looks as if we overslept a little. Laura will be making breakfast soon."
"Well, a good breakfast will definitely do us both some good. We've got a long flight ahead of us." Steve reminded her, even though he knew that there was no need. As if Natasha would have forgotten that in a few hours, they would be heading to the secret, sacred kingdom of Wakanda, where they would soon be married.
"I can't wait to see Wakanda." She admitted, her head coming to rest against his shoulder.
"It really is beautiful, Natasha, but I only saw a little part of it. We can go exploring as soon as we arrive." He promised. "Perhaps, when we arrive, Shuri would have been able to break through Hydra's work on Bucky."
Being as attuned to her body as he was, Steve didn't miss how Natasha slightly stiffened. It was the smallest of movements, a tiny tightness that closed over her shoulders, but it had been there.
Instantly concerned, he asked gently, "What is it, Nat?"
She sighed. "I'm sorry, Steve. I know that you're excited to see him again - the real him. It's just…" He didn't even have to look to know that her bottom lip was being pressed down by her teeth. "It's just that, while you were away, the last time I spoke to Tony...he said something, and it's been bothering me ever since."
"What did he say to you?" Steve's mind whirled into several different possible theories to exactly what Tony Stark had said to her. He knew that the billionaire would have felt personally betrayed when Natasha had allowed him and Bucky to escape, but Tony had no right to hurt Natasha with his bluntness. Steve wasn't sure if he could ever forgive Stark for doing such a thing, for making Natasha question herself like that, question her worth in his life.
The friendship between Steve and Tony was now successfully destroyed, after what had happened after the airport. But, that didn't mean that Steve would tolerate Tony upsetting the woman he loved.
Natasha sat up slowly, drawing away from him and creating a space between them which seemed colder than it actually was. Steve wanted more than anything to draw her back into his arms, but this was Natasha Romanoff; if she wanted space, he wouldn't protest.
"He said...he said that perhaps you'd always prefer the life you had before the ice, and because you didn't choose to leave it all behind you, you would always choose Bucky over...everything." Over me, she didn't have to say the words out loud, they both knew what Tony had meant.
Something inside Steve snarled at the fact Tony had felt himself entitled enough to give such an opinion, as if he was such a great friend who understood what Steve had gone through when he had discovered Bucky alive. The only person who had been there for him through all of that had been Natasha, and how she was feeling second best.
But, he remembered with an internal wince, his recent behaviour hadn't done anything but encourage such a fear in her. He had gone after Bucky without telling her. He had gone against Ross, against the Accords, because he couldn't lose his best friend all over again. And, in the end, he had left Natasha in that hanger whilst he had gone with Bucky to put an end to all this mess once and for all.
There was an underlying fear in Natasha's voice as well, and he knew that it wasn't directed towards Bucky Barnes. Deep down, Natasha still compared herself to Peggy Carter, and that broke Steve's heart.
"Sweetheart," Steve gently lifted her chin up with his fingers, relieved when she didn't move away from his touch. When her eyes found his, there was such a vulnerability inside them that gripped his very soul. "Tony had no right to say those things to you. Not only because they are not true, but because he shouldn't have let what happened between him and I to be used as an excuse to hurt you."
"I went against him, Steve." She reminded him quietly. Of course, Natasha would feel guilty for that, because she was a better person than she gave herself credit for. "Even before I saw you at the airport, my mind was made up."
Remembering how his gut had wrenched the moment she had faced him in the hanger, Steve breathed out slowly. "Tony knows what it means to love someone so much that you would do anything in your power to protect them. He had no excuse to say those things to you."
Her teeth sank into her lip again, and he gently eased it free with his thumb, ghosting the digit over her mouth once more before cupping her cheek.
"Natasha, I need you to listen to me." He whispered, and her gaze didn't shift from his for even a heartbeat. "My life before I hit that ice was...it was so different. Bucky had been my friend for as long as I could remember. He believed in me, even when I was just this scrawny kid from Brooklyn. Every time I couldn't get myself into the army, he made me feel as if it was okay to keep trying. He could have told me I was being an idiot, but he didn't. He kept me going. And then, after the serum, nothing changed. He encouraged me, but kept me in line. He saved my life more times than I think he ever realised. I owe him a lot. That man I knew was still there, despite Hydra's brainwashing. The Winter Soldier is Bucky Barnes. I could see that, and that was why I had to help him."
"I understand that." She whispered, and he knew without her having to elaborate that she was referring to before New York, when Loki had used the scepter on Clint Barton. How a piece of her had been missing, until her friend had regained his mind back.
"As for the rest of my life before the ice," Steve went on. "Natasha, I loved Peggy. I loved her right up until the moment she died. But, it wasn't until you and I happened that I realised I had never really been in love with her. Perhaps, that was because we never had the time, the chance for things to develop that way. But, and I know you're not a big believer in destiny, but I really do think that fate knew I wasn't ready for that life - the life where I found the woman I'd love with every fibre of my being, who I'd ask to marry me. After the ice, I really thought I'd lost that chance. But, it was you. It's always been you, Natasha. I fell in love with you, and ever since then, I've never once wanted to go back to my old life. I just...perhaps, a selfish part of me thought I could have both you and Bucky."
She was silent for a couple of minutes, and that time stretched out unbearably long as he waited for her reply. A small, irrational part of him feared that perhaps Natasha had talked herself out of marrying him, that Tony Stark's words really had had such an effect on her.
But, then she softened, leaning into his touch. "I want that for you, Steve. I want you to have your old friend back, and I'd love to get to know Barnes as Bucky. It's just...I'm sorry that I let Tony's words get to me."
"He was your friend - and, perhaps, one day you'll think of him as a friend again, once he's earned that back." Steve said firmly. "Natasha, I'm so sorry that I've made you doubt how important you are to me. You're my first priority. My girl. I never knew it was possible to love someone this much, but I know I'll never spend a single minute taking it for granted."
Her lips crashed against his faster than he could blink, but he happily kissed her back with equal vigour. Relief swarmed through him, along with his powerful feelings for the woman in his arms. He growled lowly as her tongue found its way to his.
With slightly swollen lips, Natasha leaned back to look down at him with that grin that he adored so much, that caused excitement and arousal to pool inside him. "We have a few more minutes before we should start getting ready for breakfast." She told him, tilting her head slightly. "Fancy starting our morning properly?"
A squeal sounded as Steve grabbed her hips and threw her into the mattress, hovering over her naked body. His eyes drank in the sight of her, with her hair fanned around her face and his dog tags sitting between her breasts. "You know I could never refuse you, Nat." He promised, before his lips crashed down onto hers and Tony Stark's words were erased from both of their minds for good.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Ta dar! Surprise! I can't wait to write about their wedding and their marriage, especially how it'll play out throughout Infinity War and Endgame!
- E x