DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE.
The rating of this story has CHANGED from T to M now, due to sexual content. Please bare this warning in mind if you decide to continue reading.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Within three seconds of stepping out of the jet, Natasha never intended on visiting anywhere like Vormir ever again.
One glance at Clint, as he flung his quiver over his shoulder, confirmed that her best friend was thinking the exact same thing.
Even the air here was different. Thin, pretty much non-existent. There was not a single sign of life here. There was hardly any colour, apart from murky grey and the red-tinge in the sky above them. An eclipsed moon was the only bringer of light here, and that was concealed mostly by thick, dark clouds.
Strapping her sheathed blades into her belt and double-checking their security, Natasha tried not to let the coldness here get to her. The hair along the back of her neck was on end, but she doubted that had much to do with the temperature. All her instincts were telling her that this was not a pleasant place to be, and they had to get in, get the stone and leave as quickly as possible.
"We're a long way from Budapest," Clint had commented on the flight here, as both of them had been like little children when it came to flying the Benater. The spaceship was completely different from even the most advanced SHIELD jets, but neither of them would be telling Rocket just how much exploring they had done. Clint's comment along had lightened her mood, and she tried to remember that warmth of happiness as they headed towards the only thing on this otherwise barren planet; a massive mountain with two pillars rising from the very top of it.
As they walked side-by-side, Natasha wondered how the others were getting on. Did they have the other five stones? Had something gone wrong? They had no ways of communicating with them, so she knew that thinking about it was a waste of time, considering there was nothing she or Clint could actually do if one of the other teams ran into trouble. She just prayed that this wouldn't take too long, and then they could go back to the facility and finish this at last.
Navigating their way past the various pools of still water that were dotted here and there across this empty terrain, neither of them said a word. Natasha's fingers twitched, ready to grab her weapons at any moment. But, as they reached the bottom of the mountain, nothing jumped out at them. Nothing moved. No noise. Nothing to indicate that there was anything on this planet apart from the two of them.
The mountain side was steep, with no set path, meaning they had to make their own way up. The rocks were steady underfoot, though, which was the only blessing. Her thighs were aching by the time they reached the top, but when Clint offered her a hand, her answering glare was enough to ensure that he didn't ask again. Her friend simply rolled his eyes in amusement at her stubbornness.
"I bet the raccoon didn't have to climb a mountain." Natasha commented, her lungs heaving for breath. All those years spent maintaining her fighting skills hadn't included as much cardio as they should have done to prepare her for something like this. Thankfully, Clint was also out of breath.
"Technically, he's not a racoon, you know?" Clint turned slowly, surveying their surroundings. They were almost at the top now, and when Natasha looked down, she tried not to take notice on just how high up they were. If the air had been thin down there, it was almost impossibly thin now.
The thin air hadn't done anything to stop Clint from being his usual sarcastic self, and Natasha was quite tempted to give him a shove. "Oh, whatever. He eats garbage."
When Clint looked at her, eyes sparking, it brought back too many memories of their past missions together. She'd missed him so much these past few years, not just as her closest friend, but also her trusted team-mate. Did he realise how much he had changed her life?
Then, an unfamiliar voice sounded from behind them, echoing off the empty mountain. "Welcome,"
Instantly, Clint turned around, pulling out a long blade from it's sheath on his back, and Natasha grabbed her gun, spinning on her heels and pointing directly at the shape that had been lurking behind them. At first, it was hard to tell exactly what it was. The owner of that dark voice seemed to float, not touching the cold ground, as it's clock billowed around them, moved by the icy breeze.
"Natasha," The figure said, and Natasha tried to ignore the way her skin crawled at hearing her name fall from its lips. "Daughter of Ivan."
Ivan. Her father's name. The name of the man who had remained faceless, nameless, her entire life. Hearing that name out loud...something inside her hollowed out, empty. Her parents had no impact on her life, nothing more than a stranger who passed her on the street.
Her fingers tightened on the trigger.
"Clint, son of Edith." The cloaked-figure sounded like a man, but Natasha knew better than to assume such things.
"Who are you?" She demanded, not lowering her gun for even a second, pushing away the feelings that had threatened to come to the surface when she'd heard that little piece of her history. She never thought about her parents, and she wasn't about to start now.
"Consider me a guide," The voice told them. "To you, and to all who seek the Soul Stone."
"Oh, good. You can tell us where it is, and then we'll be on our way." Her finger itched to pull the trigger, but common sense overruled that urge; in this barren planet, a guide was certainly something that would come in handy. Without it, how would they possible know where to find this stone? Time was not on their side.
The figure moved closer, gliding over a large outcrop of rock. Then, it settled to the ground, and walked over slowly, in calculated strides. "Oh, if only it were that easy." As it stepped into the moonlight, a face was revealed. Natasha tried not to flinch at the sight. Red-skinned and withered, with eyes that seemed to cut into her. Where there should have been a nose, there was only a gaping black hole. The creature - whatever it was - had a thin mouth, now drawn into a cruel smile.
When those soulless eyes landed on her, Natasha kept her chin up. But, the thing only inclided his head to the side, a silent command to follow it, and then the cloaked figure was heading further up the mountain. Exchanging a glance with Clint, Natasha followed, never once lowering her gun.
"What you seek," The beastly thing told them, as they arrived at the top of the mountain, to a clearing at the bottom of the two pillars. "Lies in front of you, as does what you fear."
Natasha edged closer to the side of the clearing. Up here, snow started to fall around her, striking against the skin of her face. God, it was unbearable here.
Her stomach threatened to fling up through her throat as she peered over the edge. It was as if the entire world just fell away. The drop was steep, she hadn't quite realised just how hard a climb it had been to get here until she saw what they'd had to endure. No wonder her thighs felt as if they were on fire. She willed her heart-rate to steady, so that she could focus on the task at hand.
"The stones down there." She mumbled, half to herself.
"For one of you," The figure confirmed. "In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange."
As those words sank in, dread and horror seemed to surge through her veins, replacing the blood that pumped through her body. At her side, Clint drew closer, peering down at what lay below them. When realisation hit, Natasha knew it had struck them both at the exact same time.
"A soul for a soul."
It was an effort to not throw up. She stepped away from the edge, glancing to that cloaked figure that lurked behind them. "Who are you?" She demanded.
"I have been many things in my life." The figure told her, that voice thick and cunning. "Who do you believe me to be?"
She kept her chin raised as she forced herself to meet those awful eyes, eyes that seeped into her. "You're the Red Skull." She'd known almost the second that twisted face had appeared, but perhaps the foolish part of her had wanted to believe it could be anyone else.
A slight dip of the head. "Your husband wanted to accompany you here. Imagine how that could have played out. It is his fault I am here, cursed to protect the Soul Stone, to guide others to it. A treasure that I once tried to possess." The Red Skull regarded her closely. "I came so close to killing him. It is a shame, that the chance will never come around again. That he will not see me, and know that despite his best efforts, I did not die."
Natasha glared at him, anger replacing the coldness and fear that had been eating away at her.
"Nat," Clint's hand was on her shoulder, squeezing slightly. "Ignore him. He just wants a reaction."
She growled, but bit her tongue. They had more important things to worry about, and Clint's advise was right. If she let her temper get the best of her, they would waste valuable time, even though she wanted nothing more than to shoot the Red Skull directly between the eyes.
"Maybe, he's making this shit up." Clint said thoughtfully.
Natasha removed herself from the edge, needing to cool herself down. She sat down on a flattened out boulder. "I don't think so." She said quietly.
"Why, because he knows your daddy's name?" There was no harshness to Clint's voice, but the words still stung all the same.
"I didn't." Natasha whispered. No, she wasn't going to open up that void. Her parents had never been apart of her life, for whatever reason had lead to her ending up in that orphanage. Now was not the time to think of what-ifs, to imagine how different her life could have ended up being, had she'd had parents.
She swallowed, refocusing. "Thanos left here with the stone, without his daughter. That's not a coincidence." They had all known that Thanos had murdered Gamora, Nebula had told them that in one of their meetings. No one had even thought of relating the retrieval of the stone to her death.
But now...
"If we don't get that stone, billions of people stay dead." The words themselves hurt to say, as they brought with them reminders of the people that had been lost, that the Snap had taken away in the blink of an eye. The Bartons. Sam. Bucky. Wanda. All that now stood in the way of them coming back was that stone.
A soul for a soul. A life.
She swallowed. For five years, her life had been leading up to this moment. She had been foolish to not think that this could be a possibility, something that had to be faced in order to get what they needed.
A face appeared in her mind; sharpened jawline, eyes of the softest blue, that handsome grin. Her heart ached.
"Whatever it takes," Clint said quietly.
That snapped her attention away from everything; away from those lingering thoughts of her parents, away from the stone, away from that damned Red Skull hovering close enough that it took everything she had not to shoot him. Everything else didn't matter, as she focused on Clint, on that deadly serious expression on his face.
His eyes were locked directly in front of him, at the cliff. At the cliff edge.
Slowly, she got to her feet. No sudden movements. "Clint?"
"We both know who it has to be." He told her softly, his eyes alive with grief but also hardened acceptance.
But, when he reached across to take her hand, Natasha moved quicker than even he could follow. She had him rotated over her back and then pinned to the ground in a heartbeat.
"No." She growled down at him. "We have to talk about this, we can't just-"
"There is nothing to talk about." Clint shot back at her, kicking at her stomach. Natasha hissed as her shoulders were shoved into the hard surface beneath them. "Natasha, there is nothing to discuss. You have given years of your life to this. You never gave up. It's my turn now, to do this for everyone."
Tears pricked at her eyes as she fought against his hold. Clint didn't budge. "Stop it. You don't get to just throw your life away like this."
"That's what I've done for years, Nat." He pressed down even heavier against her shoulders, making her body strain. "Listen to me." She kept fighting despite the order. "I've done terrible things, Natasha. I lost myself. I lost hope. You never did. You deserve to see this through, to the very end."
"No!" She whimpered. "There has to be another way." Too much. This price was too much.
"I can't expect you to do this." His voice was firm, decided. "You've been through enough, and you've finally found your place in the world. You have a future ahead of you, with Steve, if you get these six stones. I'm not going to be the one to take that away from you."
Steve. His name hit her heart.
"Natasha, you know what I've done. What I've become." Clint went on, his hands never once easing from her shoulders, because he knew full well that if he even gave her an inch, she'd tackle him. "There's no going back from that. This is the only way I can repay the debt I owe the world."
She struggled against him. If only she could just get her leg up, so she could unbalance him with one swift kick, just like he'd done with her. But, Clint's knees were against her shins, holding her legs down, making them utterly useless.
"I don't judge people on their worst mistakes." The words came out strained, as a tear freed itself, trickling down her cheek and landing on the cold stone below her. How could Clint, of all people, expect her to be able to simply let this happen?
He swallowed. "Maybe you should."
"You didn't." She reminded him. "Clint, without you, I would have have found my way out of the darkness. I would never have gotten this second chance of life." She'd never have found a purpose. She'd never have worked alongside the Avengers, and fallen in love with the man who held her heart and soul so completely.
She owed Clint Barton everything, and that was exactly why she could never let him do this. His family would be waiting for him, if they got all the stones. But, to get all the stones, to give him that family back, Natasha knew what that involved. Knew the sacrifice that weighed down on one of them.
Could she do it? All she had wanted all her life was to find someone who made her feel wanted, someone who loved her. Clint loved her like a brother, and had given her the family she'd never been able to have. Steve loved her like she had never felt deserving of being loved. Could she really leave them?
Steve. Steve would be waiting for her. Steve hadn't wanted her to come this. Had his bad feeling been an omen? No, it wasn't possible...
Clint looked down at her, as if reading all the emotions that would be shining in her eyes, despite her best efforts to keep herself together. "You're a pain in my ass, do you know that?" He spoke with affection. He leaned down, his forehead against hers, and Natasha closed her eyes as more tears fell.
"Tell my family I love them." He said, and then his weight was gone. He stood over her, giving her a small nod of his head. A goodbye that did not needs words.
No. She couldn't let him do this. Swinging out her legs, she caught him off guard, knocking him back to the ground. "You can tell them that yourself." She spun to face the Red Skull, still hovering nearby, still watching their every move. "Tell me there's another way." No answer. Her voice raised, shaking the entire mountain. "You bastard, tell me-"
Her words were cut off as an arrow pieced into her jacket, throwing her against the cliff face. Her head collided with it, not enough to knock her out, but enough to stun her momentarily. When her vision refocused, Clint was standing facing her.
"Tell my family that I love them." He ordered, and started to run for the edge.
"No!" The scream hurt enough to make her throat feel like it was bleeding, but by the time Natasha wrenched out the arrow from above her, Clint was already too close. She ran with everything she had, surging forward, hand outstretched.
Somehow, she managed to grasp his wrist. Her stomach hit the mountain, her shoulders and upperbody dangling over the edge, but she gritted her teeth and braced herself, her other hand clutching onto the dagger she'd shoved into a gapping in the ground. It wouldn't be enough to hold them for long, the blade was already bending too much from the combined weight against it.
"Don't do this, Clint." She begged, as her tears rolled down her face.
He looked up at her, but there was no fear in his eyes. Just Clint Barton's prized stubbornness. "You've done brilliantly, Natasha. All these years. You were never a monster." He told her firmly. "It just took you a lot longer to see that."
She tried to heave them both upwards. "Grab that stone!" She demanded, eyes flickering to the outcrop jolting out just above Clint's head. If she could just lift him up a little bit more...
"You have to get the stone. You have to go back, and fix this." Clint told her. "You can do this, Natasha. I have every faith in you." His face softened slightly. "Look after my family, Natasha. They'll need you. Just...don't tell them what I did."
"Clint," She groaned, her back screeching at her.
"I love you, Nat." He said, and the words clawed at her, opening her up and threatening to overwhelm her. "Let me go, Natasha. You need to let me go."
"Just grab the rock, Clint." She shouted down to him, her fingers gripping tighter into his wrist, so much that it hurt. The snow continued to blast down around them, slicing at her cheeks, but she blocked out the cold. Blocked out this blasted mountain, this awful planet, that beast that lurked behind her. Blocked out everything else, apart from the man below her, a man she couldn't say goodbye to.
"Let me go." He willed her. "It's okay, Natasha."
A sob racked her entire body, even as the blade continued to protest. "Please." She begged him. "Please, don't do this." Don't leave me.
But, her tears blurred her vision, just as Clint reached up with his spare hand and prized her fingers away. His hand slipped through her grasp, and he was falling.
"No!" Her scream rang through the mountain, down the drop below her, as Clint's figure got smaller and smaller.
Horror grabbed at her, as she realised there was nothing she could do. The coward inside her pressed her face into the stone floor beneath her, so she didn't have to see when Clint's body collided with the ground. When she looked up, a layer of snow coated her, but she couldn't care. She didn't care about facing the Red Skull and killing him for what this mission had cost her.
She got up and ran, bolting between the towers and scaling down the unmade path that her and Clint had taken. Using her daggers, she slid down the mountain face, her legs almost crumpling underneath her when she finally reached the bottom. There, lying motionless, was Clint Barton.
Unimaginable pain struck her whole body as she ran for him, as she collapsed onto her knees and looked down. Blood surrounded his head, dampening her own knees, but she barely noticed. Her scream cut through her throat again, like razors, but she didn't even hear it. She heard nothing, saw nothing, other than Clint's lifeless eyes looking back at her.
Even as he fell, his face hadn't changed. Hadn't been filled with fear, or anger, or sadness.
Just acceptance. Understanding.
She screamed and screamed, her chest tightening more and more. Her tears were red hot, melting any flakes that landed on her face. Blood weighed down her suit, it coated her fingers as she lifted his head and rested it on her lap, her forehead against his as he cried.
As the wind whipped into her, she stared down at Clint's face as she leaned back. Could she carry him back to the Benetar? There was no way she was going to leave his body here, in this empty planet. Would the Pym particle work, to take him back? She couldn't leave him. She wouldn't-
But, even as she thought it, the snow picked up, surrounding them. One minute, Clint's weight was against her lap, his blood coating her body, his eyes blank as they looked up at her. Then, as the snow cleared, he was gone.
She was alone.
Clint was gone. There was no blood, not even the smallest trace that he'd even been with her. There was, however, a pulsing weight in her clenched fist, and when she slowly eased open her fingers, she saw the stone that should have brought her relief, should have been a blessing to hold. It would have been, if gaining it hadn't meant Clint giving his life.
Her heart shattered in her chest.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Steve was moving before anyone could utter out another word.
Within seconds, he was climbing up the dais and on his knees, drawing his wife into his chest, wrapping his arms around her so tightly that he never intended on ever letting go. "Sweetheart," He whispered, his words sticking to his throat as he was about to say it's okay, I'm here. He couldn't say them, because something clearly had gone horribly wrong, things weren't okay.
Natasha's tears soaked into his army uniform, but he barely noticed. Her entire body was trembling, her breath catching, her exhales coming out in shudders. Grief. Such raw grief. He'd never seen this sort of reaction from her, and it pained him greatly. He wished he could do something, anything, to ease her pain, to share it with her.
Her hands were still tucked into her chest, but he stroked up her spine, whispering into her ear that he was here, he was with her. Natasha continued to cry, even as the others approached slowly, as if she no longer cared about maintaining an untouchable imagine.
"Natasha?" Banner asked, in a voice that was so gentle, so soft, that it seemed impossible to come from someone of the Hulk's size. When Steve looked up, even Tony's face was split with sadness as they all silently worked out what had happened. "Nat, where's Clint?"
Natasha shrunk even smaller, her head ducking lower against Steve's chest, as if she wanted to simply disappear. He continued to stroke her back, kissing her hair.
No one dared ask for the stone. Nebula was not in the hanger with them, but Rocket was respectful enough to not ask a question. In fact, it was deep sympathy that was shining in the raccoon's small eyes as he took in the sight before him. Natasha had always been the toughest of all of them, and now she wasn't trying to hide her heart ache.
Steve wished more than anything that he could heal her broken heart for her, but he had a vague idea of what had happened. Gamora had gone with her father for that stone, and hadn't returned. Natasha and Clint had left as a pair, and only one had returned. It seemed that the asking price of the Soul Stone was more demanding than the other five put together. If he had known, there was no way he would have let either of them go to that planet. They would have exhausted any other possible loop-hole, tried to find a way around it. Anything, but let Natasha and Clint face that.
Slowly, Natasha raised her head, and Steve leaned back ever so slightly, giving her room without removing his arms from around them. The expression on her face, her red-eyes and soaked cheeks, cut into him.
"I have to go back." She whispered, and then started to struggle against him. As he refused to let go, her voice got louder. "Let me go back! I need to go back for him!" Her wide eyes shot to Scott, who was watching from beside Thor. "I need to go back!"
Steve moved his hand up to cup her face, and tried not to flinch when she moved away from his touch. "Sweetheart, listen to me." He begged her softly. "There's no going back. We haven't got-"
She practically screeched. "I can't leave him! I need to go back!" Her words were broken by her sobbing, her sentences coming out in laboured pants as her tears continued to cascade down her cheeks.
"Natasha," Tony moved up the stairs, but did not come any closer. "Tell us what happened."
Her eyes darted from him, to Banner, to Scott, to Thor, then to Rhodey and Rocket, as if she was only just remembering who they were. "We...there was a mountain, and a guide. He...he told us that the price of the stone was a soul for a soul." Her breathing quickened in panic. "Clint...we fought, but he pinned me and I...I grabbed him, but he forced my hand off him. I let go. He..." Her eyes scrunched shut, her chest heaving.
Steve brought her back against him, trying to ignore the resistance he felt from her. "Breathe, Nat." He whispered into her ear. "Breathe. Steady yourself."
"I let him go." She moaned in agony, hands back against her chest, as if she wanted to make herself as small as possible. "I need to go back for him."
Then, she opened up her hand, revealing the orange stone. The stone they had been waiting all this time for, that now no one seemed to want to touch. The stone that had cost them the life of a valued team-member, and a trusted friend.
Steve's eyes closed as he remembered everything Clint had done for him, how the man had welcomed him into his home, into his family's life. How Clint had shown him how to shoot a bow and arrow, and gifted Steve and Natasha the barn conversion at his property. Then, Steve thought about Lila, Cooper and Nathaniel. Would they ever get to know about their father's great sacrifice? And Laura...God, even thinking about her hurt.
Clint Barton was the reason that Steve had even met Natasha in the first place, and he had been the person that Steve had gone to for his blessing on asking her to marry him.
His last exchange to the man had been just before this mission, when Clint had pulled him to the side and promised that he'd watch Natasha's back, knowing that Steve would worry. Steve hadn't doubted his words for one moment, but he could never have imagined that this would be asked of the two of them; an impossible decision, of whose life was worth sacrificing for the stone.
"Natasha, sweetheart, we can't go back." Steve told her softly. "We can't change what has happened-"
She pulled herself away from him sharply. "Why?" She demanded. "Why are you acting like we should just move on?"
Steve tried not to let his hurt show, because Natasha was suffering enough, and he knew that she didn't mean to upset him. But, seeing the sadness in her eyes turn into such cold fury, directed at him, felt like a kick in the stomach.
"We have the stones, right?" Natasha demanded, glancing round at the others for confirmation. "As long as we have the stones, we can go back, and get him back. Right?" The despair that echoed in her question, the blind helplessness, was shattering for all of them in the room that knew how strong a person Natasha was.
They were all devastated about what had happened to Clint, but definitely hit Natasha the hardest.
If he wasn't convinced she'd pull away from him, Steve would have hugged her again. Instead, his mouth felt dry as he met her gaze, that dark questioning that filled her eyes as she glared right back at him, as if he was standing in her way. As if there was a chance of getting Clint back, but he was refusing.
But, there was no way of getting Clint back. What was done was now done, unless they went right back and never went after the stones. Then, this whole thing would be pointless, and no one would be coming home...
Steve knew that it was Natasha's grief that had narrowed her mind like this. That with time, she might come to accept what had happened, and remember why they had done this all in the first place. But right now, she couldn't, and he'd never expect her to.
He understood how it felt to watch your best friend die in front of you. Of feeling responsible. Of having that pain and guilt eat away at you, stripping away everything you thought you were.
"Natasha-" He wanted to at least move closer to her, but he didn't even dare do that.
"We can't get him back, Little Red." Tony said quietly, and to his credit, he didn't wince as Natasha's hot glare moved to him. He didn't back down, but instead, he met her gaze with a quiet calmness, and spoke in a voice that seemed far too gentle for Tony Stark. "It's done."
It's done.
Steve could practically see those two words hit their mark, as reality came crashing down around his wife. She wasn't going to ever see her best friend ever again. He'd given his life for this, for the chance to bring everyone back. Clint Barton would never fight at their side again, never be there to turn to for advice. He'd never see his wife or children again. His life had been the asking price of that soul.
As if she physically couldn't stomach holding it any longer, as if it burned her very palm, Natasha gave the stone to Tony without a word. Her legs looked ready to give out from underneath her, and Steve prepared himself to catch her, even if she'd just fight away from his hold.
But, she didn't. Instead, Natasha turned to him once again, her bottom lip trembling slightly. There was no fight left inside her. Nothing to want her to not show herself as vulnerable as she was right now. So, when she took a step to him, Steve moved to her, his arms around her once again. Her tears continued to soak his shirt, but he didn't care as he stroked her hair.
"We'll make it count, Nat." He promised her, and the others nodded in agreement, even though Natasha didn't lift her head from his chest. Her sobs continued to rack through her small body, and her hands gripped into his uniform tight enough to almost rip the material, but that wasn't a concern for him.
One by one, the others left, parting with the stone, but they wouldn't make any decisions until Natasha was ready.
So, not caring for how much time passed, Steve stood there holding his wife, her grief washing around them. He felt utterly powerless, but all he could do was be there for her. And that's exactly what he was prepared to do, no matter how long it took.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Being inside the facility was too suffocating.
Being anywhere near those stones was too suffocating.
No one had pressured her, no one had even mentioned the stones. They'd all gone to put together the gauntlet, the final piece of the puzzle, leaving her and Steve alone.
As if sensing her need for somewhere quiet, for fresh-air, Steve gently led her outside and towards the pond, to the decking air that stretched over the water. He sat down on one of the chairs, and Natasha instantly seated herself on his lap, arm linked over his neck, head burying against him. By now, she felt as if she had no tears left, her entire body was drained and a headache was fast approaching, but her exhausted tears only made her feel even worse.
"He was a good man, Natasha." Steve said gently. "I know it hurts, sweetheart, but he knew what he was doing. His sacrifice was brave, and selfless, but it was his decision."
Her eyes shut tightly, willing for one more tear at least. "He shouldn't have had to." Speaking hurt, as if the words sliced along her throat on the way out.
"No, he shouldn't have." Steve agreed. "But, it's done. Clint gave his life so we could have the chance to bring everyone back. We can't let him down."
She swallowed. So many different thoughts had crossed through her head, and amounted to the headache pounded against her. What if she'd held on tighter, and gotten him up the mountain? What if they'd faced Red Skull, and managed to get the stone? But, imagining those different scenarios would do her no favours, because if there had been an option other than Clint doing what he did, they would have found it.
Natasha hadn't meant to push Steve away earlier, but she'd just lost herself into that
darkness, that blind panic and rage at what had happened, but also the overwhelming guilt. She'd watched her best friend die, and had been completely powerless against it. Every breath she took was a breath that Clint would have have. How could she move on from that? From living her life only because Clint gave up his?
Let me go, Natasha, he'd told her, but how could she? She couldn't move on, she couldn't forget him as if he hadn't had such an impact on her life. It would be disrespectful of her, and the relief she'd felt the second she'd been in Steve's arms had then felt like a stab through her hurt. She'd returned to her husband, and yet Clint would never see his family again.
Death was not unfamiliar to her. She'd been surrounded by it her entire life. She'd been a Grim Reaper herself, going after all her targets for the Red Room, managing to sleep at night even after a particular gruelling kill. Death had been the only constant thing in her life back then. But, she'd never lost someone she loved before. Clint was a part of her, and she couldn't image a world without him.
"It's going to take time." Steve went on, his voice a soothing mumble into her ear, his hand continuing to stroke her back. "It's hard to accept that someone you love is gone. It's easy to lose yourself in the grief, in the what-ifs, but nothing is going to bring them back. You can only honour their memory, and keep them alive in your thoughts, in your heart. Clint gave his life knowing what he was doing it for. He wanted you and his family to be safe. You're not alone, sweetheart. You'll never be alone."
She tightened her grip on his sleeve. She'd noticed his army uniform briefly, as he approached her and took her into his arms when she'd returned, but she hadn't yet found out why exactly he was wearing it. It wasn't important, not right now. "I miss him." She whimpered.
"I know," A kiss was pressed into her hair. "I know, sweetheart."
Lifting her head to look at him, Natasha took in all his features, her heart trembling. "I love you." She whispered.
His eyes glowed in adoration and warmth as he rested his forehead against hers, the end of his nose lightly touching hers. "I love you, so much."
~0~0~0~0~0~
When she stepped back inside the facility with her hand clasped tightly in her husbands, Natasha replaced her grief and sadness for steel determination. Clint's sacrifice would not go wasted.
By the time they rejoined the others, the finishing touches were just being done on the newly constructed guantlet; ensuring the six stones were all tightly fitted into their rightful places.
"It's ready," Rocket confirmed, as a deathly silence filled the room, sucking out the warmth. "Question is, whose gonna snap their freakin' fingers?"
Glances were exchanged, as this part of the plan hadn't yet been discussed, simply because they'd all been exhausting all their thoughts and efforts into getting all six stones. Now, the next task would be using them, of facing the power they all held.
Natasha's breath caught in her throat, and she tightened her grip on Steve's hand. Either he didn't notice the tightness of her hold, or he really didn't mind.
"I'll do it." Thor offered, lumbering over. Obtaining the stones had given him back some of his motivation, yet he still hadn't mentioned how his trip to past-Asgard had gone. None of them, actually had spoken about their missions, apart from her and Steve, who'd spoken privately outside on the decking. She'd told him about the Red Skull, and although Steve stiffened instantly and wished he'd been the one to face him, he just held her tighter and explained how he and Tony had gone back in time to acquire more Pym particles and have a second chance of getting the Tesserack.
When he had mentioned seeing Peggy Carter again, Natasha wasn't at all surprised that she didn't feel that tightness in her chest she'd experienced right at the beginning of their relationship, when she'd compare herself to Peggy constantly. Instead, she'd had an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards the woman who had helped shape Steve into the man he was today.
On that decking, Steve had seemed hesitant, but she could tell from his eyes how much he'd missed her, how scared he'd been, and how much he loved her, unconditionally. She'd leaned down and kissed him, and that kiss was powerful enough to centre her, to refocus her onto what was important.
Now, her eyes widened as she took in Thor's offer. They had all been prepared to give their all in gaining the six stones, and yet she hadn't even thought about what would happen when they got them, the responsibility put on someone's shoulders of controlling them.
Tony tried to protest, to tell the Asgardian to hang on, and when Thor didn't listen, Steve put a hand on his shoulder. "Just wait. We haven't decided whose gonna put that on yet." He spoke with that calm, authoritative tone that he had mastered years ago.
Unfortunately, Thor wasn't in the listening mood. "I'm sorry, are we all just sitting around waiting for the right opportunity?"
"We should at least discuss it." Scott pointed out, and he was right. Rash decisions were never a good thing.
"Look, sitting here staring at the thing is no going to bring everybody back." Thor pointed out. "I'm the strongest Avenger, okay? So, this responsibility falls upon me." There was no arrogance in his tone. In fact, it was the first time that Natasha had listened to him and realised that he'd been a man born to lead, to rule over a mighty kingdom and make tough decisions for the sake of others.
When Tony and Steve both tried to quieten him down, Thor grabbed Tony's shirt and begged, "Just let me do it. Just let me do something good. Something right."
Standing with them in that room, Natasha realised, was a man who had lost himself. Deep down inside him, there would be the old Thor, the noble and brave-hearted warrior who loved his people and protected this world with everything he had. But, losing his brother and his kingdom had weighed down on him greatly in the last five years, and instead of keeping hold of whatever faith he had left, Thor had let it get to him, let him drag him down below the surface and keep him there. Now, he wanted a chance to be the better person.
She understood that, but there was no way they could just jump to a decision like this, not over something so important. One glance at her husband, who was looking at their friend in concern, told Natasha that he was thinking the exact same thing.
"Look," Tony said carefully, gently easing Thor's fingers from his shirt. "It's not just the fact that that glove is channeling enough energy to light up a continent. I'm telling you; you're in no condition."
"What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?" Thor asked. "Lightning."
Banner took a step forward. "Lightning won't help you, pal. It's got to be me."
Everyone turned their eyes to the looming figure of the Hulk, whose gaze was fixed on Thor. Years spent travelling together had solidified their friendship, but Banner's statement was not just for Thor's sake. "You saw what those stones did to Thanos. They almost killed him. None of you could survive."
Lifting his chin, Steve asked, "How do we know you will?" He'd never expect anyone to do this without assessing all the risks, and Natasha knew him well enough to know that right now, he hated the fact he couldn't do this for them.
"We don't," Banner admitted, as he headed slowly for the gauntlet. "But, the radiation's mostly gamma. It's like...like I was made for this."
Silence fell, thick and heavy, until Natasha spoke, "Bruce, are you sure about this?"
He dipped his head, extending a hand to pick up the gauntlet, which looked so tiny in comparison to his green fingers. "Let's do this."
Decision made.
"Alright," Steve said. "Everyone suit up." Just in case, he didn't have to add.
~0~0~0~0~0~
With his suit on and his shield in one hand, Steve steadied himself as his wife joined him. Silently, she reached out for his hand, linking her fingers through his and squeezing tightly. He pulled her to him, giving her a slow kiss. When their lips parted, Natasha moved closer so she could lean into his body, seeking both comfort and warmth.
"Okay," Tony said, from his place at Thor's side, closest to Banner and the stones. "Everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago, you're just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last five years.
Scott and Rhodey both clicked their helmets into place, whilst Rocket fitted his goggles back over his face. Thor straightened, while Tony projected a shield in front of them as he ordered Friday to lock down the facility. Instantly, the computer system obeyed, sending down thick shutters to protect the windows, to lock them all inside.
The only light source in the room came from that gauntlet, from the six stones shining on top of it.
"Everybody comes home," Bruce agreed, and as the gauntlet enlarged itself to fit his massive hand, Steve wrapped his spare arm around Natasha's waist, trying not to tense his whole body. Sensing how much he was depending on her to keep him steady, Natasha didn't move an inch away from him, even though he knew her fingers were itching to grab her batons at any moment.
All of them jumped when the stones glowed, as light shot it's way up Banner's arm, as if making his very veins glow. He fell to his knees, groaning at the power that surged through him, but there was nothing any of them could do to help him.
Rays of light burst from the stones, striking into Banner's arm, making his whole body writhe in agony.
"Take it off!" Thor shouted. "Take it off!"
But, Steve could see the determined lock of Bruce's jaw, he could see how much the man was fighting whatever was trying to overpower him. "No, wait! Bruce, are you okay?" At his side, Steve felt Natasha stiffen.
"Talk to me, Banner." Tony encouraged.
One dip of the head. "I'm okay. I'm okay."
Then, only seconds later, Banner started yelling as his entire arm seemed to burn, the material of his suit being ripped away by those light surges. He clutched at the gauntlet with his other hand, but the power continued to surge through his body.
But, Banner didn't give up. He raised his fingers, and when he snapped them, a white ray of light burst through the entire room.
The first thing Steve did when he opened his eyes was check to his side, where Natasha still stood, breathing heavily from shock and panic. She was fine. He then turned to check on Bruce, who was now lying on the floor. Dread sank deep into Steve's stomach as he rushed forward, kneeling down beside his friend.
Whilst everyone else ducked to his side as Banner regained consciousness, Thor kicked the gauntlet to the side. It fizzed, as if being drained of electricity, but it was the least of their concerns right now.
"Bruce, speak to us." Natasha willed him, her hand on his large cheek. His arm was burned, ruined, but Tony still released an icy vapour onto it in an attempt to soothe the pain.
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, Banner's eyes opened. He blinked, twice, before asking, "Did it work?"
The metal shutters lifted up, allowing light back into the room. Even the air had changed; it no longer felt cold, lifeless.
"Let's get you up, big guy." Steve said, and with Tony and Thor's help, they managed to get Banner on his feet. He wobbled, and Natasha was with him in a heartbeat, trying to keep the Hulk's large frame up. Thor grabbed him on the other side to help.
Scott, who had headed towards the window on the other side of the room paused when his phone started to vibrate against the desktop behind him. Rocket clambered up onto it, and asked, "Scott, someone called Hope is calling."
Hope.
Stunned, Steve looked to his wife, whose eyes had widened as realisation hit her. Hope, who had been taken with the others by the first Snap. Hope, who was now calling.
But, before anyone could say anything, the world erupted around them.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Hope you guys enjoyed the twist to the story. Are you ready for the big battle scene coming up?
- E x