Chapter 8 – A Date (?)

Noah was taken aback by Rachel's question, he thought he was doing better by her, that they were slowly rebuilding what they once had. He was even ready to ask her on a date, to see once and for all whether they would be good together, without any Baby drama, Finn drama or the like. He smiled sadly and while he expected to see anger in Rachel, he saw it mixed with another emotion he first couldn't identify. Hurt, pain. That made his hands tremble. "Rachel, I'm so sorry, I know I…" She cut him short, realizing she had misspoken. "I am the one who should be apologizing, Noah. I didn't mean to offend you or hurt you in any way. It is true that you've been absolutely lovely since we resumed our friendship. I'm not looking for apologies, these I got, surely more than I should have and I wholeheartedly accepted them. I still do. But it is just…"

Rachel was nervous, she still didn't know whether she could trust Noah, trust was so easy to break but so difficult to recreate. She had to give it a try, otherwise her speech about forgiving him and wanting to be friends again would be nothing but a travesty. She was playing with her hands, looking very interested in them and Puck knew that posture too well. He could still recognize a distressed Rachel Berry. "Rachel, spill." That is all Noah needed to say for Rachel to look at him. Her whole demeanor broke his heart. Something must've happened. Hudson, most likely. He scoffed just at the thought.

"It's just a fact, Noah. I mean besides you, there is Finn, obviously, who played with my feelings all along. He came to me this afternoon berating me for going back to you and telling me I was his, and that I needed to wait patiently for him while he finishes his high school experience, basically. He won't let me move on while he is running for Prom with Quinn. I'm so over him, but it won't get through his thick skull. Then, do you remember Jesse?" Puck was fuming just at the reminder of the brunette boy Broadway-bound male diva – basically a male version of Rachel, only mean while Rachel was the kindest. He just nodded. "Well, needless to remind us all that he played me, pretended to love me, even switch schools for me, said he loved me and then had no qualms in egging me. There just seem to be a trend of boys hurting me, as if I was some sort of preferred target for boys. Is there something wrong with me?"

"God, Rachel, no. There is nothing wrong with you. If anything, we're the messed-up ones, because we couldn't see how amazing you are when we had you, and now, we are just sitting on our sorry asses, regretting everything we did to you. I surely am, and Hudson too. He is just an outright idiot who thinks he can have it all. Please tell me you're not going back to him Berry." He looked at her expectedly, dreading her answer. She was quick to fire back. "Noah, not a million year. I am over him. He thinks he is better than me, he is doing me a favor by dating me. I did love him, yes. But I can't be with someone who doesn't abide by the gospel he preaches. He pursues me while with Quinn, then sleeps with Santana, thinks it is better to lie about it, but makes me guilty for dating Jesse when he didn't think I was good enough for him, and kissing you? Also, he can't overcome the fact that I kissed you, but he can easily go back to Quinn who had sex with another guy – sorry Noah – got pregnant and lied about the identity of the father? Give me a break. Finn Hudson needs to grow up, and I am not waiting around for that to happen."

Noah could not have smiled wider. He got Rachel right where he wanted. "So, you won't see any opposition in going on a date with me, Berry, will you?" he asked, waiting for her answer. "Noah, don't you think we tried enough on that front? I love you, I do. I think even when you were throwing slushies at me on a daily basis, part of that love remained intact. But I just think that we know each other too well, for too long, for us to work as a couple. There is no mystery or seduction – and your comments about sex are not seduction," she laughed as she added the last joke. He grumbled. "I guess I see your point. But, one date won't change that Rachel. How about we give it a go, and if it doesn't click, we'll just go back to being the awesome friends we are?" He knew he was pushing his luck here, but he needed to clearly understand what he felt for Rachel. He had never felt that before, for anyone. And since he hadn't loved anyone before – except for Bekah, his mother and Beth, of course but that was different – he wasn't sure where he stood with Rachel, what if she was the one? They were two looking Jews, after all, it was only natural. As he was planning that date, thinking of vegan restaurants to take her, he saw she had a weird face, she was thinking about something and it wasn't pleasant. It hit him. Just like when they were younger, he could see right through her. "Rachel, you're not telling me everything."

Rachel's eyes bore into Noah's, surprised that he could still read her so well, after all these years. "Noah, I'll tell you. But, I need you to remain calm." She too knew him and his anger management problems. "Spill, Berry. We'll see about calm later." She sighed, there was no way around his stubbornness – a trait they shared, without a doubt. "Well, the list of boys that hurt me? I forgot to add Samuel." Who was Samuel? "I mean, Sam Evans. We sort of got close once I started tutoring him." That explains his sudden improvements in English, Rachel was really something else. "And after he broke up with Quinn, we hang out. One thing leading to another, we kissed. It was sweet." Noah couldn't stand the dreamy eyes Rachel harbored referring to Evans. He wasn't sure what he felt, but it wasn't all jealousy. It was part of it, but there was also a protective side to it. "Then the following day, I saw him kiss Santana Lopez. I guess they're dating now. When I went to confront him about it, he essentially said I was a freak, and it made sense that he'd date someone like Santana. He even said that he wasn't surprised you'd never date a freak like me."

Rachel tried to hold back tears, but to no avail. Noah was fuming. "I'm going to kill him," he said before rushing over to Rachel to hug her tightly. "Rachel, please, don't listen to him. He's just a jerk, who doesn't deserve you." Rachel took a couple of minutes before she regrouped. "Noah, it's fine. Please, don't do anything rash. I just, you know, felt a connection with him. I liked him. But, I'm an idiot. How could a popular handsome jock like Sam Evans give me the time of the day? You must think I'm pathetic, swooning over every boy that spares me a second of attention," she said with a bitter laugh.

"Rachel, listen to me. You're not pathetic. You're a strong, beautiful, talented girl. You're going places while us all losers are going to be here in Lima, watching your acceptance speech for a Tony Award or whatever that is, remembering how we had our chance with you and blew it, while you'd barely remember us. Believe me." She looked at him, smiling. "Come on, Noah you know that's not true. You'd be sitting in the room while I give my speech, as my best friend. You'll be my sides, won't you?" For a second, he thought she was going to tell him she wasn't good enough for Broadway, but there are things that never change. "Well, if you'll have me, Miss Berry. For now, let me tell you what we're going to do. You're going to get ready and pretty for me while I go do the same, and I'll pick you up in an hour to take you out for dinner – as a date." He winked as he finished his sentence. Rachel just shook her head affectionately, knowing better than to argue with him. Maybe Noah was the right one for me? We know each other so well, and I know how he can be when he loves people.

As she was getting ready, Rachel couldn't help but think about Sam. What he had said to her, the way it all broke loose. Little did she know that the very same Sam Evans was lying on his bed in a modest motel on the other side of town, thinking of Rachel Berry, his face in his hands, hating himself for what he did to her, for letting his anger and jealousy get the better on him and ultimately, the worst out of him. Rachel wouldn't speak to him ever again, and she would be right. That, outside of their tutoring classes, of course. He wanted to apologize, but she didn't let him at tutoring and when it was done, she stormed through the door, leaving him behind. That was Rachel Berry in all her splendor. Proud, knowing how to hold a grudge but also systematically the bigger person, the one who would help and assist even – and in particular – those who did not deserve it. I don't deserve it. He could send her a message, but crucially, he didn't have her number. He had erased it after she'd given it to him during Glee Club. He didn't dare ask afterwards, when she understood what he's done after their first tutoring session.

Back at Rachel's house, Noah was waiting downstairs for Rachel, chatting with Leeroy in the living room, when she appeared. "Noah, I think I'm ready to go." He turned to look at her, and for a minute, it was as if he had forgotten how to speak. Rachel was looking gorgeous. This mustard little dress hugged her body in all the right places, it also went well with her skin color. She had let her long brunette locks free, styling them just a little. Make-up was kept to a minimum and only in nude tones. She was to fall for. "Rachel, you look absolutely stunning," he said as he was recovering from his initial shock and extending his hand to hold his. "Have fun kids, and Noah, don't forget to bring this lady back by 11," said Leeroy.

"Damn Berry, you sure know how to turn up the temperature, you're smoking." Rachel laughed in earnest. "Noah, I should have figured the whole stunning charming show was just a play while my father was around and that you'd get back to your crass self as soon as we'd cross the door," she said, hitting lightly his arm. "Not sure what crass means baby, but I'll take it as a compliment." Rachel shook her head as she walked with him to his truck. The road to the restaurant was animated, they had sung together to the radio, he was amazed at how Rachel voice sounded even when she didn't mean to actually sing. She even did a bit of rap, which left him dumbfounded. It was comfortable. Maybe a bit too much comfortable? Noah didn't feel the adrenaline he usually felt when he took other girls' out – well, that was because he was not trying to get into Rachel's pants, at least not yet. He was, after all, a teenager with hormones and needs that controlled him more than he'd like to admit.

The whole evening went in similar fashion. Laughs, endless conversations, comfort, memories also. A lot of them. "Rach, do you remember when we had to do that project together in elementary school, about a volcano, and you put too much coke in that Mentos-filled volcano? How it exploded on your cute face, and how Hiram berated us for hours." Time flew by until they realized they had to go back to be on time for Rachel's curfew. The road back was quiet, Rachel was trying to analyze their evening. She had a lot of fun, she felt carefree and secure with Noah. But she didn't feel any spark. She thought it was maybe normal after a first date. Her doubts only grew when they kissed on her porch. She needed to break it to him, choosing her words carefully.

"Noah, this evening was lovely…" He cut her, his hand on her cheek, stroking her lovingly. "But it was not it. I felt it too Rachel – or rather didn't feel it. We do get along so well, we know each other by heart. But, we don't have chemistry or whatever you chicks call it. It's like we work great on paper, but then in real life, we work better as friends. You know?" Rachel decided to test her acting skills. "Noah, I am disappointed I must say. I was about to tell you how uplifted and fulfilled I felt by your side and how much your kiss set me on fine, but…"

"Rachel, I am so sorry. You're an amazing girl and whoever gets you, will be lucky. I just think that. God, I don't know how to say it. You know I suck at this," he whined. She burst into loud laughter as she patted his forearm. "Not to worry Noah, I was joking – well acting, more accurately – I felt the same way as you did. You're good."

Noah exhaled a sigh of relief, he didn't want that night he insisted on to be a new hurdle in their newly building friendship. "Rach, God, you scared me. Let us focus on how much of a good actress you've become over the years. I mean, you fooled me when I was a kid. But fooling the badass resident in town, even today, that's to salute, Miss Berry." He bid her good night with a quick kiss on her cheek. As sweet as he had acted himself during the night, he couldn't help but think of what Sam had told Rachel, and he hoped that Rachel didn't see their failed date as a concretization of what Sam had said. It wasn't like that. Being friends with Rachel Berry isn't simple, the girl is high maintenance and makes you go through roller-coasters – but she sure is worth it.

"Evans, a word." Puck had cornered Sam after practice, not being able to speak to him before. Sam saw madness in Puck's eyes, while he was staring at him with all the contempt he could muster. Sam remained silent, inviting his fellow glee-clubber to speak. "How dare you tell Rachel she is a freak and tell her all the horrid stuff you said about her, and about me? What the hell dude?"

Sam was decent enough to at least look ashamed. He wasn't scared of Puck – or at least so he tried to convince himself. He explained to him that it was not exactly what he said, that Rachel beat him to hit because he wasn't even brave enough to finish his sentence. "I never meant to hurt her, okay? I like her, I do. But, I just got so angry and blindsided by jealousy – okay? But you didn't make it any easy on me, okay? You were twirling her, flirting her in the hallways less than 24 hours before we had kissed and it was all I could think about. So yeah, when I saw that, I just wanted to feel good about myself, Santana was there and she's smoking. You would know. But the reality is that…"

"There is no forgetting Rachel, I would know, I've been there," Puck said. He understood Sam in a way, but what he did was still wrong. He hurt Rachel, and this he couldn't forget – probably because he couldn't forgive himself for the same, because Rachel did forgive him, that she would forgive Sam eventually because that's just the way she is and that Rachel needed someone on her side who wouldn't forgive so easily. "Dude, you hurt her, and for that, I should make you pay. Rachel does like you, I could see it – you, not me. As hard as it is to believe, we're just friends. We are very close because we've known each other for a while. But she felt something for you. This much I can tell. You going to another girl, especially Santana, knowing what went down between her and Hudson…"

"You mentioned anything about me, Puck," Finn asked as he was passing by in the locker room. "No, just your stunt with Lopez, who Sam is sort of dating now, I guess." Finn looked at both of them with a slight smirk. "Look at us, we all three dated Santana and Quinn. Well, I'm still dating Quinn," he said with a sly smile directed at Sam, who couldn't care less. His mind had shifted to a tiny brunette without him even noticing. "Whatever, Hudson. Be happy with Fabray. You two deserve each other," Puck said, exasperated at his former best friend for his dumbness and for what he had put Rachel through. "Well, we're good together for high school and stuff. But long-term, it's Rachel. I mean, I still love her and we'll find our way to each other. I know that."

Puck couldn't help it, he had a few home truths to tell Hudson. Before thinking, he said: "About that Hudson, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you." Finn looked at him angrily. "What do you mean, Puck?" Noah was way so very happy to oblige and answer the question. "It means Rachel is through with you. She thinks she deserves better, and you know what? She's right. She told me so herself yesterday, when I was at her place, on her bed. You're an idiot, thinking she'll wait on you."

He had been on her bed, again? "You promised you'd leave Rachel alone, Puck. Rachel is mine. When will you get this? She's mine, she's off limits. When will you understand? The rest of the school gets it. Nobody approaches her."

This time, it's Sam who spoke, in defense of Rachel. He tried to shake off the doubts creeping within him at the mention of Puck on Rachel's bed. "Rachel is nobody's, she's free to do whatever she wants. She's a great girl. And you're the reason why she left the club, Hudson. Now, get lost." Puck was impressed. He had never seen Sam stand up that way to anyone, and he had done it for Berry of all people. How could he not root for him? He knew the road wouldn't be the smoothest though, Rachel had a tendency to block out people who hurt her for a while before she gave them a chance to tell their side of the story. He'd have to be patient, and show her meanwhile that he was in it for the long ride.

As Finn left the lockers, hitting everywhere he could on his way out, as a spoiled brat, Puck felt like he needed to dissipate the doubts he saw plastered in Sam's face. "Dude, just to be clear. What I said? It was just to mess with Hudson. I was doing homework on Rachel's bed. Nothing happened. We tried to go on a date afterwards, but we both felt awkward and decided we were better off as friends. Alright? I know I can't be trusted with girls. But trust me when I say that nothing is going on between Rach and I, and trust me when I say that I'll beat the crap out of you if you ever hurt her again." Sam nodded. Please do, he thought for himself.

At the same time, in the Principal's office, Will Schuester was trying his best to get his best diva back to the Glee Club. "Mr. Schuester, again, I have no interest in returning to Glee Club. I have grown out of it. I think the majority of its members are happy with me leaving. Only a handful had come to ask if I'd come back and told them I wouldn't. I can make it on Broadway on my own, I don't need a club that doesn't appreciate my talent, or a teacher… Never mind." Will answered: "Rachel, the club is falling apart. They're not working hard enough. Mercedes thinks she can do songs on the fly and her wailing will be sufficient to get us through. Brittany and Mike's choreographies have decreased in quality and when I asked them why, they confessed you used to give them pointers on harmony between the dancing and the song. Rachel, this club cannot do without you, and you have a duty to it. Isn't it, Principal Figgins?"

Before Figgins could speak, Rachel was quick to respond: "It is an extra-curricular activity. Principal Figgins cannot force me to join the Glee Club. I am in all AP classes, I'm on the honorary roll, I have always been ever since I joined this school. I owe nothing to anyone, even less to the Glee Club." Her stance was definitive, Principal Figgins could see it and he knew better than to argue with Rachel Berry – and this had nothing to do with her family's ties to the ACLU. "I'm afraid Miss Berry is right, William. We cannot force her to take part in any after-school club or activity. We can encourage her, and I do encourage her knowing the talent she has, but the decision is hers. And it seems she has taken it, unfortunately."

"Are we good here, Principal Figgins," she asked rhetorically, getting ready to leave. "A word please, Miss Berry? Alone, if you'd leave us for a minute, William?" Will was waiting Rachel by the Principal's office as he saw her nod and leave the room. He needed to clear something with her. As she was exiting the office, he grabbed her gently by her arm, effectively stopping her. "Rachel, please, can we talk, civilly? Without any animosity?" She nodded for him to continue. "You said something in the office about a 'teacher,' presumably me, and I would like to understand what it is that I did that affected you so much, and how I can change for you to come back."

Rachel knew this would come sooner or later, she would have rather avoided this discussion had she could, be if she was being honest, she had to tell Will Schuester a piece of her mind. "Just so we're clear, I'm not joining the club back. Ever. And as to what you've done. Well, nothing. That is precisely the point. You let everyone in that club tear me down, belittle me, humiliate me, call me names, and stood idly – as long as I was winning you competitions with my voice, it is all that mattered to you, Mr. Schuester."

"Rachel, that is not true" That is when Rachel snapped. She was furious, but she needed to keep her temper in check because it was after all a teacher she was speaking too, and her fathers had raised her well. "Oh, I am sorry. I must have missed it when Quinn said she wanted punch me in the face and you called her on it. I must have forgotten how Santana was calling me Hobbit, RuPaul and other lovely names and you stood up for me. I must have eluded the moment when Mercedes threatened to beat me, and you just laughed at it. I must have erased from my memory when Finn broke my heart, lied to me and you sided with him through think and thick. I must have blanked when Artie said I was irritating pretty much all the time and you berated him for it as the teacher you are. I must have missed it when Puck said I set him on fire and I would jump to Vocal Adrenaline and you defend my honor. Yes, all those moments must've slipped my mind. I apologize, Mr. Schuester. Now if you'll excuse me."

Will was left speechless. She was right. All that she said was accurate. He hadn't realized until now. He had failed her as a teacher and as a result, he had failed the entire club. It is just that Rachel seemed so mature, so ahead of everyone in everything she did, brilliant, smart, poised, determined and so talented, that he didn't think any of it actually got to her. But seeing all the hurt she had when she recounted all these moments, the way she lived through them waiting for the teacher, the adult in the room to speak up. In vain. He tended to forget she was a teenager, because when it came to singing and performing, she handled herself with professionalism and determination. He secretly admired that about her. But after today's discussion, he realized he she was still a teenager, with feelings and he had pushed her too far. It was not a diva fit, this time, she just couldn't stand it anymore, stand him, stand them.

Rachel rushed to the auditorium. First, because after this intense confrontation with Mr. Schuester, she needed to cool off before heading to the community center for her singing classes. Second, Principal Figgins had asked her if she could sing a song for Prom, which was around the corner. She had accepted, a performer never backed down from taking on the stage. She asked him to keep it a secret, though. She had a song in mind she wanted to try. She set herself on the piano, her fingers spinning gracefully on the keys. There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark. Her voice was steady, strong, on point with the song's poignant story.

Finally, I can see you crystal clear. Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare. Another voice had joined in on the second verse.

She knew this voice all too well.