Chapter 10 – New Beginnings

From: Rachel Berry

To: Shelby Corcoran

Dear Shelby,

Thanks for your email. It took me a little while to write you back. Frankly, the reason is I do not know what to say, and also, because there have been quite a few events unfolding here in Lima. First, I quit Glee Club. Don't worry, I am not giving up on my dreams of Broadway – never. But, I could not be in a group that did not like me for me, anymore. I am working on my own, always with the same dedication, commitment and goal-oriented mindset.

Also, Jesse St James is back in town. I assume you would know, he did mention you two were still in touch. We adopt a full transparency policy since we rekindled our relationship. Nothing romantic, at least not yet. We're friends. We're taking things slow, but I understand the reasons why I fell for him in the first place. He hurt me though, and that is still stinging.

You hurt me too, but I think we sorted that out a long time ago, and I am ready to move on. I hope you are too. We cannot be daughter and mother anymore, but that does not mean I do not consider Beth as my sister. I've always wanted a sister. Therefore, I extend my gratitude as to your offer for us to meet. I would love that. We could drive to Columbus this weekend and spend the day with you and Beth?

The reason I am saying "we" is that I will come under one condition. That you let me bring my friend Noah Puckerman with me. He does not say it, but Noah hurts too. He and I were friends when we were kids and then lost touch for a while before we recently rekindled our relationship, too. I guess you can call it the season of new beginnings – I'd like to believe it can be for us too. Anyway, Noah hurts because his father walked away on them, and that left a hard print. He doesn't say it, but he feels that in a way, he did the same to Beth.

I see the way he looks at her picture in his wallet every time he opens it. I don't ask from you to let her be a father to her. For a wide array of reasons, it would be unfitting. However, he deserves to know her, be present in her life in a way. I think that would appease him. I also trust it would appease Beth when the times comes to have "the talk" – the one about her filiation, not the intricacies of adult relationships as Mr. Schuester would put it, although on a second thought, Noah would also be of a great help then.

Please let me know your views on the above.

I'll be expecting your reply to organize for this weekend.

Yours truly,

Rachel Berry

Rachel pressed the hit button without reading the email. That was so unlike her. But she knew that if she read it before, she'd second guess it. She had received an email a few weeks ago from her biological mother asking her if she was interested in getting to know Beth, her sister, Noah's biological daughter – and interested in getting a new start on their own relationship. Maybe she could be friends with Shelby. So, she decided to agree. She also decided to loop Noah in. She didn't exactly ask his opinion, but it came to her naturally. Noah deserved to know his daughter. Quinn too, despite all the bad blood between them. But she figured that two of them at the same time would be a bit too soon. Better do it gradually. She saw in Noah's eyes, the longing for his daughter, the regret, the hurt each time he would open his wallet and his eyes would fall on his daughter's gorgeous features. She never dared to talk about it with him because she knew he would not be comfortable. She also wanted to show him that she had truly forgiven him. He had made grand gestures for her over the last few weeks, he constantly defended her in high school, did homework with her, helped her avoid Sam and Finn whenever he could, had "the talk" with Jesse – sure he had almost ended up in a fight, but he tried. She wanted to be the one, for a change, to make a move for him. To show him that she cared, that she did not take him for granted.

That morning, Sam got to high school in a sour mood. The motel sucked more than ever, Rachel was still not speaking to him outside tutoring and her great friend Puck was still around to interpose whenever he would get a chance to get close. He didn't dislike Puck, they were buddies, but he also had told him that he'd remain first and foremost "Team Rachel" even though he was "Team Evans" as long as it did not collide with the first rule. Between classes, his jobs and sports, Sam didn't have much time to build friendships, so he just stuck with Puck and some folks in Glee, mainly Mike and Artie. They were cool.

As he was rolling Artie in English class, Puck by their side, he saw their teacher flash him a radiant smile. Odd, she usually doesn't notice I exist. The class started and their papers on Euphemism in 20th century theatre were being handed back to them. "Great work Samuel, not sure what you're doing, but keep doing it." He was dumbfounded. "A-." He couldn't believe it. That was all Rachel. She never gave up on him, even when things got tough at tutoring, even when treated her despicably. His mother would be so proud. He never brought an A back home before. Maybe this could lift up the spirits at the Evans. He didn't know whether to smile or to cry, so he did both of the above. "Such a pansy," said Puck, patting his back in a sign of support. He knew what it meant for Sam. He also knew that regardless of what Rachel would say, she would be ecstatic. Not only because it would demonstrate her tutoring skills, but because it would be Sam.

Later that day, Sam bolted out of nowhere at Puck's locker where he was discussing with Rachel. He heard Rachel say, "Noah I'd like to talk to you about something," but decided to go for it anyway even though he was ruining a moment. Clearly. "Rachel, thank you, thank you, thank you," he exclaimed, hugging her. Rachel was confused, Sam and she were not on speaking terms. She made it clear that outside tutoring, they weren't to interact. She didn't hug back. Instead, she stood still – which didn't go unnoticed by Sam, who was a bit hurt. "Samuel, what is it with you? This isn't a good moment, I was about to address a serious topic with Noah."

Puck was a good soldier, he seconded what Rachel had just said. "Yes, Evans. Rachel had taken her serious slightly worried voice. Now, I am both curious and stressed to know what she's up to." Sam ignored Puck, he took Rachel's hand again and said. "Rachel, I got an A- on my English paper. It's the first time in my life I am bringing an A home. My parents are going to be so happy. That's all thanks to you. So, thank you, for this and for never giving up on me while I had given up on myself a while ago." Puck smirked as he saw a glimpse of pride and happiness in Rachel's eyes. He also saw the care, as much as she tried to hide it.

For her part, Rachel hated that her heart swelled just a little at Sam's enthusiasm and joy. He still had an effect on her. She smiled – a true genuine smile, the first she flashed for him ever since that day the kissed – and said. "That is great news Samuel. I told you that you could anything you set your mind on. We'll see how to work on that paper to make it an A+ next time, later this afternoon at tutoring. Now, if you'll excuse us."

That was his moment, he thought. "Rachel," he exclaimed as she was getting ready to leave. "Can I please talk to you in private? Please" He had his puppy eyes. That is why she avoided him, because she knew that if she locked her eyes into his blue sad eyes, she would give in. This is why during tutoring, she would always look everywhere but at his eyes. They were her kryptonite. As Noah was going for the save, she put a hand in the air and said. "It's fine Noah. I'll speak to you later." Noah kissed Rachel's cheek and departed, not without throwing a wink at his blonde friend.

There they were, once again. In an empty classroom. That felt familiar. "Well, I am listening Samuel." Sam's mouth went all dry. He didn't know where to start. "Right. First, please call me Sam? Rachel, what I said to you was awful. I didn't mean it. Hell, I didn't even say it, you beat me to it. That shows you how much of a coward, I am. But you have to believe me that I didn't mean it. Rachel, these last few weeks, they've been a nightmare. I couldn't stop thinking about you. That day, when I saw you with Puck, I lost it. I have never been that jealous in my entire life. I thought you were together. I also was hurt because that kiss meant so much to me and I was about to go to you that morning to ask you to give me a chance."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Right. Publically making out with Santana wasn't arguably the best way to do so, was it? You hurt me Sam. I understand you may have had wrong ideas about Puck and I. But instead of asking me and listening to me, you assumed I would do to you what Quinn had done to you – granted we were never dating to begin with. So, you decided to get revenge with Santana, and then hurt me with your words. How can you pretend to like someone and do that to them? That I fail to understand."

Sam hadn't expected for Rachel to push things that far, he wished she would just accept his apology. "I don't know Rachel, it was pathetic of me. But with everything going on…" She looked at him, questioningly. He couldn't tell her what was going on with his family. She would mellow, and it would not be right. It had nothing to do with it, and he couldn't take it as an excuse. "I mean, football season didn't go that well, apart from our one victory, and Glee is falling apart, and getting over Quinn, it's just, you know. Anyway, it's no excuse. I apologize profusely. I'll get on my knees, I'll do anything. Just, please give me another chance?"

As much as she missed him, she did miss him, his company, his dorkiness, she had to protect herself. She wasn't ready yet. "Samuel, this is all very nice, but I can't do this. I am all for being civil and dissipate the tension, but I don't want anything more from you. At least not now. What tells me that the second you don't get your way, you won't go back to hurting me again? I can't take that risk. I've suffered enough. I am sorry." Rachel escaped from that classroom and left a heartbroken Sam there, tears forming in his eyes. She forgave Puck for the slushies, that Jesse tool for the eggs, why can't she forgive me? The answer was obvious, he hurt her so much more because he had that power over her. Naturally, it'd be tougher to forgive. Stakes were higher – and Rachel had understood that already.

The tutoring session had been a torture for both of them. The tension was palpable. Yet, neither of them thought of even suggesting they stop partaking to it. Rachel had a responsibility and she never backed down from a responsibility while Sam felt it was the only tether he had to Rachel at the moment, and he needed that connection with her. Any connection with her. Rachel rushed to her singing lessons. She had been told about a new student coming in. "Her parents are in a tough place right now, and they thought it would be nice for her to have an extra-activity, to take her mind off things. Apparently, she sings non-stop. Her name is Stacey," Dolly told her at the entrance desk.

Rachel immediately spotted the new face, the little girl was the cutest. Those long blonde locks, that small innocent smile and that doe eye-shape. She had seen that shape before, with a different color. She couldn't remember, but that shape was familiar. "Hello Stacey, I am Rachel. I'll be your singing teacher. It's nice to meet you. I am so happy to have you." In the next couple of hours, she could see that the little girl had potential. She had an ear for notes, could distinguish the nuances in a song, the changes in tempo. She also had noticed the sadness, the concern in her eyes. She also saw the wrinkled clothes, larger than her little size and understood that money was particularly tight. "Great work everyone. Stacey, you'll fit right in. You did such an amazing work, and you have a beautiful voice. How did you learn?"

"My brother used to play the guitar to me and my brother, and we would all sing together. He is a good singer, too. He doesn't have the guitar anymore. He had to sell it, because my mommy and daddy…" and then the little in front of her broke down. Rachel hurried to hug her. She reminded her of a younger Bekah. It could've been Bekah if Mrs. Puckerman hadn't worked her tail off, if she didn't have my Daddies by her side. "Stacey, don't cry honey. We all go through tough times in life. But, they don't last, usually. You know what does though?"

"What, Miss Rachel?" the little girl asked, as she sniffed. "Tough people, and you, Stacey, are a tough cookie. Alright? So, it will be hard, but you'll get through this." Rachel smiled and squeezed Stacey's hand. During the evening, she told everything about her teacher to her older brother who was listening with a distracting ear. "Oh, Sammy, she is so beautiful, and she sings so well, I want to be just like her when I'm older. And she said I was a tough cookie. I am so happy Mom and Dad signed me up to the community center." Stacey hadn't mentioned the one thing that would've made her brother listen to her. Her teacher's name. Rachel.

Friday rolled in quickly. The day before, Rachel went out with Jesse and she could feel the chemistry in the air. It wasn't a date, but as he bid her goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, she had wanted more and pecked his lips. Startled at first, he kissed back, and the peck turned into a full-fledge kiss. She was recounting this to Noah, who, disgusted, didn't say a thing. He wasn't jealous – okay, maybe he was just a bit – but he was first and foremost concerned. He didn't trust St James. "Anyway, we're going on a date next week, a proper date. I don't know Noah. We're just so much alike," Rachel gushed. She wanted to believe it. She had fondness in her eyes every time she thought of Jesse. That must mean something. Right?

Rachel was fidgeting with her hands, and Noah remembered that earlier that week, she had wanted to tell him something. They didn't have the time to properly catch up ever since Evans interrupted them. "Rach, what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" Here goes nothing, Rachel thought.

"I would need you to drive me to Columbus tomorrow. We should be there around lunch time." Puck scoffed. "As much as I'd like to see you on a shopping spree and be there in the fitting room, babe, I have plans. I have this hot chick I'm taking to lunch and then, well, you know what the Puckerone does." He was smirking at Rachel, too happy to mess with her.

"Noah, must you be always so gross? No, I am being serious. I need you to come with me. I…" Puck knew Rachel, she never hesitated, never stuttered unless it was really serious. "Spill, Berry," he commanded. "Well, I received an email a couple of weeks ago, from Shelby…" Shelby. That name was a tough spot for Puck, it reminded of what he lost, what he had given up on. "You did? How come I only hear about this now?"

"I didn't know how to tell you. I know it is a sore topic. It is for me too. She asked if she wanted me to meet Beth." Puck felt like his breath has caught in his throat, unable to circulate to his lungs. Beth. He had go to juvie in the process of forgetting her. "I accepted, under one condition. That you come with me. To meet her. Because I think you deserve to have a relationship with her, even though not a father-daughter one and you deserve to see with your eyes that she is happy and healthy."

Puck was awestruck. When she asked they grabbed coffee together, he was miles away from expecting this. There was the girl he tormented for years, offering him on a silver plate, what he didn't dare dreaming of. Not only had she taken him back after all of those years, but she was proving to him that she indeed had forgiven him. He couldn't help the emotions swimming in his eyes.

Rachel misinterpreted Noah's silence. "I am so sorry Noah, I can cancel right away. I am an idiot. I got it all wrong. I thought that's something you'd want, but of course, I should've figured it would hurt too much, should've consulted you before…" Noah rushed to her and hugged her, tightly. "Rach, don't you dare apologize. No one has ever done such a beautiful thing for me. Thank you so much. I blocked this out, but I need it so much. I'll be forever grateful, Rachel. But, how did you know?"

Rachel exhaled, reassured she had read it right and was still able to figure out Noah's inner thoughts. Guess all those years did not go to waste. His hugs felt so comfortable. This one, in particular, was something else. "Your wallet, Noah. The way you discreetly traced the features of her face. So, I take it you're driving me there?" she asked cheekily. "Hell, I'll drive you, I'll do whatever you want me to do. Thank you so much, Rach. I love you so much. Have I told you I don't deserve you?" Rachel laughed at that, it had become sort of a thing between the two of them. "You might've mentioned it once or a dozen times. But you do, Noah Puckerman. You've become a great young man." He answered, softly: "Well, besides Ma obviously, I have you to thank."

Saturday morning, both Rachel and Noah felt nervous in that car driving to Columbus. "What if she doesn't like me?" Noah asked, realizing he would be meeting his daughter. "Noah, she will love you just as much as you love her." He took her hand and then asked again. "How do you feel, Rach?" Rachel wasn't sure how to answer that question. Part of her was excited to create something with Shelby, whatever it was. Another part still feared she'd end up disappointed again. "I don't know. I've come to terms with the idea that Shelby will never be my mom. Yet, I still want her around. But, I am also scared I'll end up hurt." Noah understood. He felt the same about his father, if he'd show up again, he'd give him a chance despite it all. "I'll be right by your side, Rachel. Always and forever." At that instant, Rachel felt like nothing bad could happen.

And it did not. The afternoon was lovely. Shelby had let Puck play with Beth, he was excited and Beth had immediately the bee-lovey he had bought her as a gift. She was beautiful, the perfect mix between Quinn and himself. Shelby even let him tuck Beth to bed for her afternoon nap. Meanwhile Shelby had taken Rachel apart, and the two women had a heartfelt one to one. "I owe you an apology, Rachel. I wanted to get close to you, and I did it the wrong way, I hurt you and for this I'll never forgive myself. But, I do want to get to know you. Also, the way I adopted Beth, that must've stung. I realized afterwards. You know how I did? The first time Beth asked for me to take her in my arms, and I remember you wanting just the same when we first met. I denied you, because I was a coward back then. But if you'll let me. I'd really like to get to know you, from an adult to another. As friends, of some sort. Oh, and save me a sport for your Broadway debut." Rachel felt the sincerity in her mother's voice, she agreed to give her a second chance.

Puck had a tough time bidding goodbye to Beth. He and Shelby had agreed on exchanging news and photos of Beth as she grows up, and for visits once in a while. As much as he would've wanted more, he also understood Beth needed stability in her life, and he needed to be a decent parent, and do what all decent parents do: put his daughter's needs before his whims. They also discussed the topic of Quinn. They all agreed that she deserved to know Beth too, and Rachel had offered to speak to her and get her to maybe come next time they would visit.

As they drove in comfortable silence back to Lima, they said both, Rachel broke it and said: "it was such a good day, Noah, don't you think?" Puck couldn't agree more. "God, it was better than that. It was perfect. Rachel, I'll never thank you enough for this opportunity." He squeezed her hand and she immediately squeezed back. "Okay, this is getting too much girly for the Puckster, Berry. Damn, you have that effect just on me, or is it on everyone?"

As they were approaching Lima, Puck decided to take a small detour in order to avoid traffic on the highway. "Noah, you know I hate this part of town. It's the sketchiest." Rachel whined. "I would've been fine spending a bit more time on the road, and not be around here. Puck just chuckled. It was indeed a dodgy part of town, the part where he could convince people on the streets to go buy alcohol for him. He couldn't stop laughing at Rachel's worried looks through the window, making sure they were safe.

"Chill, Berry. I got this. You're with me. The badass resident. I know that with you I tend to do feelings and shit, but…" Rachel interrupted was not listening to him. She was too busy looking at the scene in front of her. There was that little girl from her singing classes, Stacey, playing with another very blonde boy, in a that sketchy neighborhood without any sort of supervision, in the small backyard of a motel?

"Pull over, Noah. Now," she screamed.