With some reservations Leslie and Dan accepted Teddy's offer to help heal Jessica. The wondered what the strings would be that would come out when they found out Annie's best friend was the first assistant and one of Teddy's close friends was the neurosurgeon. They wanted this chance for healing for their family.
Annie and Josh met her parents in the waiting room before Jessica's surgery.
"Why does it feel like we've done this before," Annie asked.
"My dad," Josh replied, "are you sure you're okay?"
"I have to be here for this. For them. They don't understand what's happening," Annie said.
"Amelia is doing it," Josh reassured, "she's as much of a fighter as your mama. She takes out the impossible all the time. Jenna is the resident and first assistant."
"This could finally be my chance with her," Annie said, "maybe now I can reconcile with them."
"I'd like that for you but let's get through today," Josh said, "one step at a time."
"I want to watch," Annie said.
"No," Teddy said coming up behind them, "you're both banned from the gallery and the OR floor today."
"Mama, can we sit in your office or the residents lounge if I need to be away from my parents," Annie asked.
"My office or Owen's is quieter if you want to hide there," Teddy suggested.
"You have the comfy couch and snacks I can eat," Annie said.
Leslie watched Annie and Josh approach; they had seen them at the hospital only and always in scrubs or professional work clothes never dressed casually. Josh in jeans, a blue T-shirt and black hoodie. Annie had jeans, a black T-shirt and an unbuttoned purple, white and blue flannel shirt, the colours reminded Leslie of Annie's old kilt. They both looked comfortable.
"Your cousins are coming today," Leslie said as they sat down.
"Then I need to go get my other outfit from my locker," Annie said, "I thought it was just us and I could be comfortable."
"You look cute Annie," Leslie said, "I talked to Shannon. She knows about the baby and is coming with Catherine."
"Shan and Cat," Annie said, "I've missed them. What do they do now?"
"Shannon is a labor and delivery nurse and Catherine teaches grade seven," Leslie replied.
"I haven't seen them since I was 21," Annie said, "I know they follow my Instagram but that's it. I see their posts but I don't know them anymore."
Owen came in, "I have coffee for most of us, and a decaf chai latte for Annie."
"Thank you uncle Owen," Annie smiled as he passed her the cup before handing out everyone's coffees.
"It's going to be a long day," Owen said, "Amelia just took her to pre op."
"Amelia did," Annie asked, "isn't that intern's work?"
"Mama didn't have any interns assigned," Owen asked.
"I assigned Kira from my group. Kira Eaket she's good," Annie said.
"Mama sent Kira back. She wanted your favorite intern available for you," Owen said, "Kira knows today she's doing scut unless you need her for something."
"For coffee and food runs," Annie asked.
"Updates," Owen said, "but yes you could send Kira for food or coffee."
In pre op Jenna and Amelia were going over the plan.
"This has to be perfect for Annie," Jenna said, "it's her last shot with her family."
"I've taken out just as bad," Amelia said, "it's a big beautiful tumor. Silverstone ready?"
"I am," Jenna said.
They entered the OR and Amelia took a minute to stand in her super hero pose. She knew this was a make it or break it surgery. She was aware of everything that had happened to Annie and how much it mattered to Teddy and Owen that this was fixed for Annie's sake.
"Eaket what are you doing here," Jenna hissed.
"Dr Altman told me to go back that she didn't want me hovering and to scrub in," Kira said.
"You can observe in the gallery," Amelia said.
"Just like Annie not to want her hovering," Jenna said.
"There were a lot of people with Dr Altman and more coming from what I heard," Kira said.
"Annie won't like that," Jenna pointed out.
"Dr Altman and Dr Riggs said they would be in the library, the Chief's office or Dr Hunt's office," Kira said.
"Which Hunt," Amelia asked.
"Either," Kira said, "Dr Riggs has his phone."
"She was going to leave hers at home today," Jenna said, "she's overwhelmed. Cassidy was going to find them to try to distract her."
An hour into surgery Annie stood up, "I can't sit here we're going for a walk. If anyone comes out, call Josh I left my phone at home."
She started walking towards the residents lounge.
Josh followed her. Dan stood to go as well but Josh stopped him. Josh explained , "we've done this before with my dad in surgery it's a hard day. Teddy rebuilt my dad's heart about 4 years ago. Let her have space. She's anxious about the surgery and she still doesn't know how much to trust you and let you in. I expected tears so we're doing good. But the whole family coming is going to be hard. You didn't see when you cut contact how much it broke her. You didn't see the mess she was when she had to decide if she was going to go back to Cloverdale or to Germany for the three week break after our first year of medical school. Choosing her family or her life. You weren't there the day we finished classes and she called to tell you she was a doctor and you hung up on her. All the times you ignored her calls you didn't see the little pieces of her that chipped away. She let people believe she was an only child of a single mother for years to avoid the heartbreak of telling the story."
"We know," Dan said, "it's just hard to see how much we've missed."
"It was your choice never hers," Josh said, "but I should go find her. Most of our friends will be in the residents lounge and she has snacks in the fridge there."
"Snacks? Annie never snacks," Leslie said.
"She does," Josh said, "her current favorites are apple slices with peanut butter and bell peppers with hummus or plain yogurt. I know she brought snacks today."
"We have a lot to learn," Dan said.
"Get to know her," Owen said, "forget what you think you know and start again."
"We can try," Leslie said.
Josh walked away and found Annie curled up in a tight ball in the residents lounge. Cassidy and Julia were sitting with her trying to get her to look at them.
"Annie just look at me for a second," Cassidy coaxed, "we all know you have superhuman flexibility but you need to relax your body and stretch your legs out. Stop squishing your baby. You have to relax before your blood pressure spikes."
"It's okay," Julia whispered, "we're here. Josh just came in."
Cassidy scooted to the far end of the couch and Josh sat beside Annie pulling her into his lap. Annie's friends knew she had a history of panic attacks but had never seen one until now.
Annie buried her face in Josh's shoulder and sobbed. He rubbed her back and held her tight whispering into her hair, "you're okay. I'm right here. Annie I'm not going anywhere. I have you. Just breath. In and out with me, match my breathing. You're okay. That's it, relax. Just let me hold you and breathe."
When Annie was calm she looked at her friends but stayed cuddled with Josh she needed him close.
"Sorry about that," Annie whispered, "parents, sister, cousins coming and hormones. I just couldn't handle any more."
"Annie, how you haven't snapped before now I don't know," Julia said.
"29 weeks and working a full surgical schedule, sick sister, estranged parents reappearing, teaching interns and med students," Cassidy said, "I couldn't do working like we do and a sick sibling let alone your teaching load and the baby."
"You don't live with me," Annie said, "I can hold it together until we get in the car then I melt down. Every day for the last two weeks."
"Hate to say it but you've been kinda snappy with everyone since your sister came in but we all know why. That girl tried to kill you at least twice then you place chest tubes in the field and get her stable enough for transport," Julia said.
"That wasn't my good field save," Annie replied, "I cracked a guy's chest kneeling on the ground out there."
"You didn't," Julia yelled.
"I did," Annie nodded.
"Does your mother know," Cassidy asked.
"She does," Annie replied, "I had to tell her. I've done it before with her or Nathan. It's just the first time I did it on my own. Don't recommend doing it with a baby bump in the way."
"Carina was pissed when she found out they sent you," Cassidy said.
"Can you field triage," Annie asked.
"That's you, Josh and Duncan," Julia said, "the rest of our attendings said no to the Haiti trip."
"And we really needed some more general surgeons and could have used Cassidy," Annie said.
Annie slid back onto the couch beside Josh but kept a tight hold on his hand. He could see she wasn't totally relaxed yet but didn't think she would all day. He put his arm around her holding her tight so she stayed cuddled against his side. Josh knew that the only thing that would keep her calm today was his physical presence. She was triggered and he knew that she didn't always think clearly at this stage. She hadn't slept well and had been having nightmares since her sister came into the hospital.
A pair of little redheads ran into the room.
"Annie, Josh," Leo yelled.
"Hey bud come sit with us," Josh invited.
"Yay," Allison yelled, she sprinted towards Annie, "do you have a story?"
Josh put an arm out to stop Allison from jumping onto Annie.
"I just want a hug," Allison whined.
Annie scolded, "I can't hug you when you bounce on me it hurts me and my little girl. Come sit beside me and I can tell you a story."
"You don't play with me anymore," Allison whined.
"I do bean but I can't wrestle or ride bikes with you right now. We're going to your house tomorrow for dinner. How about I play house or tea party when we come over," Annie offered.
Meghan stuck her head into the room, "Annie there's a herd of cousins looking for you. Where do you want me to send them?"
Annie thought for a moment, "waiting area. I'll come in a minute. Just let me gather my thoughts, fix my make up and get something to drink."
"I'll come back for you when they're all calmer," Meghan said, "they're loud and excited."
"If they hug me or pounce on me I come back here or go to someone's office to hide," Annie declared.
"I'll tell them," Meghan promised.
Meghan walked into the surgical waiting area, "McKellar family."
The babbling stopped.
"I'm Dr Meghan Hunt Deputy Chief of Surgery, Dr Teddy Altman our Chief of surgery had asked me to be your ambassador today. I have a separate waiting area for you because you're a big group," Meghan announced, "I'm going to ask you to follow me."
"When will we see Annie," a voice called.
"Dr Altman is currently doing a consultation on a patient she will come as soon as she's available," Meghan said.
"Altman her name is Annie McKellar," a man yelled.
Dan cut in, "she changed it a few years ago legally she's Grace Altman. Some close friends and family still use Annie. Dr Hunt is Annie's aunt on her birth mother's sid. You all met Annie's birth mother Teddy and her step dad Owen years ago when Annie was in the hospital and graduated UBC."
Doug added, "we've been seeing Annie almost once a month since August. The last time we saw them two weeks ago. We've spent time with her Seattle family. Both Dr Hunt's are very protective of our Annie so are both Dr Riggs and the other Dr Altman. She is well loved and has a family here that makes her feel loved and supported and understood. We failed Annie and gave up but they never have."
"Please follow me," Meghan repeated. Around her she heard the babbling and gossip. They knew Annie had gotten married but there was speculation about the baby some said she was, others refused to believe it. She hated being touched. How could she do that.
"How do you know Dr Altman," a calm brunette woman asked.
"Teddy our Chief of surgery is my sister in law," Meghan said, "Grace or Annie is my niece and married to my husband's nephew."
"That sounds complicated," the woman said.
"Not really," Meghan replied, "I don't think we've met."
"I'm Shannon Weins," she introduced herself, "Annie would have known me as McKellar. I was in my last year of nursing school when she left."
"What type of nursing," Meghan asked.
"Labour and delivery," Shannon replied.
"When we settle down a bit I'm going to get you to come with me," Meghan whispered, "were you close?"
Meghan wasn't sure about all of the family members but she thought a nurse might be more sensitive to Annie's anxieties. That this woman was a labour and delivery nurse put Meghan at ease. She would see Annie and realize the baby was coming in a few weeks and just how tired and hormonal Annie was.
"I'm three years older but her and I used to talk about everything before she left," Shannon said.
"Are you the one she calls Shan," Meghan asked.
"I am," Shannon replied, "she called my sister Cat. Should Catherine come with us?"
"That could be okay," Meghan said.
"Is she still incredibly shy," Shannon asked.
Meghan nodded, "she can be."
"How well do you know her," Shannon asked.
"Very well, I've been teaching her for her whole residency," Meghan said, "and her mama I think you know as Teddy is married to my brother then my husband is Josh's uncle. So either way you look at it I'm Auntie Meghan."
"Who's Josh," Shannon asked.
"Annie's husband," Meghan smiled.
Reaching the conference room Meghan announced, "you are welcome to use this conference room for the day we've set it aside for you. The cafeteria for families is on the second floor and there is a coffee cart in the first floor lobby. Our staff will come find you here with updates please don't go looking for them."
"Thank you," Leslie said, "do you know what happened to Annie?"
"She's busy," Meghan said. But Meghan knew Annie and Josh were with friends in the residents lounge hiding. She had heard sobbing earlier from the residents lounge and thought it was Annie. Annie had been very emotional for the last couple weeks with the added stress of her parents and sister but Chris was arriving that day and he could run interference for Annie.
Meghan walked back down the hall towards the nurses station.
"Lieutenant Hunt," Chris greeted, giving a quick salute.
"Sargent McKellar," Meghan replied, "it's good to see you. You can relax it's family time now Chris. Your sister needs you."
"Hi Meghan," Chris smiled, "where are my parents and Annie?"
"Who do you want to see first," Meghan asked, "Annie is hiding with Josh and a couple friends."
"I think Annie probably needs me," Chris said.
"Your sister really needs you. She's exhausted and overwhelmed," Meghan said, "do you know where the residents lounge is?"
"I don't remember," Chris said, looking a bit ashamed.
"I'll walk you," Meghan replied.
They walked down the hall Meghan quietly explaining what had gone on the last few days and the overwhelming number of people gathered.
"Anne," Chris called as they walked into the room.
"C when did you get here," Annie asked.
"Fifteen minutes ago," Chris replied, "Meghan just filled me in. How are you?"
"I'm ok if I stay here away from the herd of McKellars," Annie said. She got up off the couch and walked towards her brother to hug him.
"I'm sorry I left you to deal with them for so long," Chris said, "tell me what I've missed l?"
"I had to triage her in the field, get two chest tubes in and an ET tube while kneeling on the ground beside her. Little miss here didn't make that easy," Annie said.
"It's a girl? I have a niece," Chris asked.
"It is," Annie smiled, "she's sleeping right now but once she realizes I'm trying to relax will move again."
"Have you seen mom and dad," Chris asked.
"I'm hiding," Annie admitted, "I can't handle it today. They told me grandmere and papa, maybe Catherine and Shannon, not everyone. Mom is hard enough she keeps trying to hug and touch me. No matter how much I tell her not to so I'm avoiding it all."
Kira entered, "Dr Altman the McKellar family is looking for you."
"I'm busy Eaket I'll be there when I can," Annie told her intern, "how bad is the gossip about me."
"Not bad, just about your baby," Kira replied.
"I'm going to send my brother with you," Annie said, "Josh and I are going to go find the chief."
"Her office Dr Altman," Kira said.
"I'm staying with you Ann," Chris said.
Annie and Josh made their way to Teddy's office followed by Chris.
"Mama can you put me to work," Annie asked, "sitting and waiting isn't working for me. I need to be useful."
"I can send you down to the pit," Teddy offered, "but Kepner will probably send you back."
"Please," Annie replied, "I can't go sit with all the McKellars. I don't care if I'm on sutures. I want to try the new stitch for closing with minimal scarring from Dr Avery."
"Before you go sweetheart are you sure this is what you want," Teddy asked.
Annie nodded, "I need the distraction. I can't deal with them. Chris came today but I can't do this. Mama I can't deal with them."
Teddy hugged Annie, "I hear you're scared. I hear that you're anxious and don't want to see them. What would help you be more comfortable seeing them?"
"For them to go," Annie said, "I can't handle the horde. I can deal with my parents and brother. Mom and dad take all I have."
"I know," Teddy soothed, "I know it's hard."
"Why can't I be stronger and handle this," Annie whined.
"Your emotions are all over the place I know," Teddy soothed, "your own life is changing fast then they added to this."
"I wanted to do this calmly," Annie said.
"Do you want me to ask the extras to go," Teddy offered.
Annie nodded, "please. Or tell them I won't be joining them."
"I can buy you some time," Teddy said, "thin the crowd a bit."
"Send Uncle Owen in as major bossy pants that should work," Annie grumbelled.
"Have you eaten and drank enough today," Teddy asked.
"I think so," Annie replied.
"Josh is she eating," Teddy asked.
"Not much but yes," Josh said.
Teddy replied, "okay I'm going to go get them to calm down and explain the situation as best I can. Meghan has Shannon with her. Shannon is really excited to see you."
"Can Shannon meet us here," Annie asked, "and grandmere?""
"I can do that," Teddy said. She texted Meghan.
"Shannon," Meghan whispered, "can you come with me?"
Shannon wordlessly did as Meghan asked.
"What do I need to know," Shannon asked.
"She's anxious it's been ten years," Meghan said.
"Eight since I've seen her but yes ten since the beating," Shannon acknowledged.
"We're going to meet Annie and Josh in Teddy's office," Meghan said.
"Annie is hiding," Shannon said, "she always did until you put her on stage."
"She's an introvert," Meghan agreed.
"Is it still no touching Annie," Shannon asked.
"Usually close family only," Meghan said, "right now it's just Josh."
"There's a family rumor that Annie is pregnant," Shannon said, "grandmere says she is and has seen her but doesn't have pictures. Uncle Dan and Auntie Leslie never talk about Annie."
"You'll see it but yes. We're all very excited for this baby," Meghan smiled, "Marie and Doug were down a couple weeks ago to see Annie. They came to Sunday dinner at my house."
"How far along," Shannon asked.
"Almost 30 weeks now," Meghan said, "she's definitely showing."
"She should be, she probably was around Christmas," Shannon said.
"I'm a trauma surgeon so that's more your area of expertise," Meghan said, "but the first time I noticed her bump was Christmas Day."
"I'm working on my nurse midwife," Shannon said, "this is what I do. So I should expect her to be anxious and hormonal."
"She's pretty good most days," Meghan relied, "but there have been tears already. Just let Josh or Teddy sit with her. "
"Still has panic attacks," Shannon asked.
"I'm not sure ," Megan said. Meghan couldn't decide if the panic attacks she had seen were truly panic or if it was ptsd. While no one had ever directly told Meghan if Annie had been diagnosed with PTSD she recognized some of the patterns in Annie's behavior. Specific situations or topics upset her to the point of shutting down. Teddy called it turtle mode. She had seen the patterns and they had talked about the things that upset Annie enough to make her turtle but no one had ever told her it was diagnosed. Meghan strongly suspected it was ptsd.
"She had them as a kid but it was Annie's having a fit or Annie's being weird," Shannon said.
"I've heard a lot of stories," Meghan admitted, "I also know that you were her favorite cousin and who she would have picked if she could have kept in touch with one."
"We didn't handle it well when Jessica hurt her," Shannon admitted , "it was always downplayed. They disagreed or they had an argument. I knew. I saw the marks, the cuts and the bruises. I called Annie ambulances or did first aid. But I had no voice, no say."
"I'm sorry," Meghan said, "she has a voice now and uses it."
"I'm glad," Shannon said, "she was the smartest of all of us. But was painfully shy and insecure."
"You'll like her," Meghan said, "she's an amazing cardiothoracic surgeon specializing in peds."
"Cardio that's hard core," Shannon said.
"Her mama is training her," Meghan said, "as a team they're incredible. They have a huge article coming out soon."
"I've heard rumors of a mother daughter duo in Seattle that can rebuild hearts completely no matter how bad the damage," Shannon said, "they've been working on and saved a few babies, it's getting a lot of attention."
"Teddy and Annie," Meghan said, "the Altman Method. Could be a Catherine Fox award worthy article."
"When did they do that," Shannon asked.
"The last one was about a week ago," Meghan said, "they should discharge the patient today or tomorrow. They were in New York a month ago to do two at Columbia they had planned on one then there was a traumatic cardiac injury that they were able to demonstrate on as well."
"Annie is still working at that level," Shannon asked.
"We're monitoring but she's good," Meghan said, "Annie got field triage started for me at the collapse she ran the command station everything went through her. Let me do the field amputations and surgeries to get people out."
"I don't see a lot of trauma," Shannon said, "I hate emergency room nursing and my hospital doesn't have a trauma center."
"We're a level one trauma center for both adults and peds," Meghan explained, "my brother and I are both military trauma surgeons. Teddy was military so was my husband."
"Teddy didn't want Annie to," Shannon asked.
"Teddy had an amazing military career but she enlisted after 9/11 it wasn't her first plan like it was for Owen and I," Meghan said, "they would never pressure their kids to serve. It has to be your choice to go."
"Chris said Teddy was in Germany for a few years. He spent a Christmas there with Annie and Teddy," Shannon said.
"I've heard that story," Meghan smiled, "Annie and Chris are very close. He's here. Probably with her and Josh."
"I'm going to guess Chris gave Annie away at the wedding," Shannon said.
"Owen did. Annie wanted her step father to walk her," Meghan smiled, "Chris was a groomsman."
Meghan knocked on the door to Teddy's office. Usually she just let herself in but today she sensed that Annie would want the warning and she knew they were hiding in Teddy's office.
"Your cousin is here," Teddy said.
"I'm ready but Chris you can't leave," Annie said.
"I won't Ann," Chris promised, "it's just Shan, you and her were close."
"Were," Annie said.
Teddy said, "just breath sweetheart. You're okay. Josh is here, I'm not going to go until you give me a signal you're okay."
"I'm ready," Annie said.
Teddy opened the door, "Shannon I don't think I've seen you since Annie finished at UBC."
"Probably not," Shannon said, "it's good to see you again Teddy."
"Come in and have a seat," Teddy invited.
"Hi Shannon," Annie called walking towards the door.
"Annie," Shannon said, "it's really you."
"It is," Annie replied, "it's been too long."
"Eight years," Shannon said, "we have a lot to catch up on."
"We do," Annie said, "but can I hug you first?"
"Yes," Shannon cheered, throwing her arms around Annie.
"Annie when did you get married," Shannon asked, "when are you due?"
"Last summer, we've been married 18 months," Annie said, "our daughter is due May 12."
"Not too much longer," Shannon smiled.
"10 weeks. I'm just taking it one day at a time. What about you," Annie asked, "husband, kids?"
"Ben," Shannon said.
"You stayed with Ben ," Annie asked.
"We got married a couple years after I graduated nursing school," Shannon smiled.
"This is Josh," Annie introduced as he came to stand beside her.
"It's good to finally meet you. Annie used to talk about you a lot and your sister," Josh smiled, shaking Shannon's hand.
"It's good to meet you two," Shannon said.
"What do you do," Josh asked.
"I'm a labour and delivery nurse," Shannon said, "but I'm working on my nurse midwife certification as a nurse practitioner."
"That's awesome," Annie said, "do you enjoy it?"
"I love it," Shannon said, "working with moms and new babies."
"I'll have to pick your brain," Annie said, "we're the first of our friends to have kids."
"We're the only couple," Josh laughed.
"True," Annie replied.
"You don't see many married residents," Shannon agreed, "much less residents starting families."
"It was right for us," Annie said.
"How long have you been together," Shannon asked.
"We met in med school orientation and have been together since," Josh beamed.
"That's sweet," Shannon said.
"Do you and Ben have kids," Annie asked.
"Maxwell is 4 and Caroline is 18 months," Shannon replied.
"We definitely need to chat," Annie said, "this is our first."
"It sounds like we have a long day," Shannon said.
"Amelia estimated 10-12 hours," Annie said, "we're at about two and a half."
"Amelia you're on a first name basis with the neurosurgeon," Shannon asked.
"She's my best friend's mentor," Annie said, "and good friends with mama."
"Who is mama," Shannon asked.
"You know her as Teddy," Annie replied, "my mother. Her and I were close before med school. But when I left it was just her and I for a few years. Then she married uncle Owen so I have a step dad and two more siblings. Leo is 5 and Allison is 4."
"Another brother and sister," Shannon said.
"Yes," Annie replied, "I'm the oldest of five."
"Which are you closest to," Shannon asked.
"Chris," Annie replied, " then Allison is really attached to me."
"Practicing," Shannon asked.
"No I love my baby siblings," Annie smiled, "we babysit a lot."
"Will you have help with yours," Shannon asked.
"Mama and uncle Owen, Meghan who you walked with, is married to Josh's uncle Nathan, they have a 14 year old named Faroke who can babysit a bit, uncle Owen's mom will help," Annie said, "the friends that stay here for fellowships."
"You've had another family," Shannon smiled.
"Our family," Josh said.
"Going back wasn't an option," Annie said bluntly.
"Why," Shannon asked, "you went to medical school not prison."
"It's a long story I don't want to get into today," Annie said, "those that need to know it know."
"How are you feeling," Shannon asked.
Annie smiled, "really good. She's a very active monkey though."
"Active is good," Shannon said.
"Not when I'm in surgery," Annie laughed.
"You're still operating," Shannon said.
"I'm a surgeon. It's my fifth year of residency I have to operate," Annie said, "most of my patients are under ten. Half seem to be nicu babies right now. I have two surgeries with our fetal surgeon next week."
"You're helping with fetal surgeries," Shannon asked.
"The cardio parts," Annie said.
"Are you okay," Shannon asked, "not over doing it?"
Annie smiled, "my OB isn't concerned. She works here. I pass her almost every day and we're often in the OR or nicu together. Carina Deluca is excellent."
"Deluca," Shannon asked.
"Yes," Annie said.
"This is an amazing staff," Shannon said, "I've been reading Dr Deluca's articles about pain management. I'd love to talk to her if I could."
"Top 5 residency program," Josh bragged.
"We're the biggest hospital in the state and the largest on the west coast north of LA," Teddy bragged, "I can see if Carina has a free moment today to talk. She loves to talk about her research. Annie could walk you up."
"I could do that but we saw Carina earlier this week," Annie said, "she might panic seeing me."
"Ann, mom's texting me they want us both to come or they'll start looking for you," Chris said.
"They get ten minutes," Annie replied, "and no touching me."
"I'll go ahead with Teddy," Chris said, "and let them know."
"Shannon, do you want to stay with us," Annie asked.
"I think I'll go with Chris and calm the horde," Shannon said.
"Horde describes what I remember," Annie laughed.
Chris left with Teddy and Shannon.
"I can't do this," Annie whispered.
"You can," Josh said, "I'm right here. Chris will be there so will Teddy."
"I can't. Not all of them," Annie said, "ten minutes they see me. Meet you and we go."
"You can," Josh whispered, pulling her close and stroking her hair.
"This is getting harder," Annie giggled.
"She just wants mommy and daddy to both hug her," Josh whispered.
"She's kicking again," Annie said looking up at Josh
"I know she's gotten strong," Josh smiled at Annie, "and mommy is going to show her how to be strong."
"I'll try but I need you with me," Annie said.
"I won't go anywhere," Josh said, he saw they were alone, "show Ellie how strong her mommy is. You're the strongest person I know, Annie. Show them who you are now."
"Only if you stay with me," Annie begged.
"I will, I promise," Josh said, taking her hand and leading her out of Teddy's office.
They walked into the conference room slipping in the back door and staying near the back. Josh noticed Annie was shrinking into herself.
"No turtle," Josh whispered, "you haven't done that since we were interns, don't do it now."
"I'm trying," Annie said, "don't let go of my hand."
"I won't," Josh promised.
Leslie scooted along the wall to where she saw Annie.
"They want to see you," Leslie whispered.
Annie nodded not trusting her voice.
Teddy stood on the other side of Annie and whispered, "it's okay. You came in, that's the hardest part."
Teddy and Josh exchanged a look. Annie was barely holding it together; she was turtling and silent. The silent turtle was frightening for Teddy. Annie couldn't fall apart now. She had been so happy before Jessica had been brought in. Working, saving children and babies, a loving marriage, expecting her first baby, a family that loved her and supported her dreams, a great group of friends. In the last year Teddy thought Annie was the happiest she had ever been. She had been bouncing around the hospital and laughing with her friends. She had been bouncing more since announcing her pregnancy, Annie was happy. She had been calm, until Jessica came in; there hadn't been a panic attack or nightmare in over a year.
"I can't do this," Annie whispered, "too many people."
Seeing Dan making his way to the back of the room the crowd began to rush towards them. Annie ducked behind Josh.
"Slow," Dan said.
"I know it's been eight years but this is where I work," Annie mumbled, "I'm Dr Altman here. I've worked here for four years, I started as a sub intern here when I was still in medical school."
"How long have you been here," Auntie Wendy asked.
"Four and a half years," Josh said.
"And you never came home to visit," Jim asked.
"Not my home anymore. It was a risk I took going to med school," Annie said, "not like anyone tried to reach out to me."
Wendy tried to hug her, "I know Annie bear we didn't do that well."
Annie jumped back.
"Don't call me bear anymore," Annie commanded, "I hate being called bear. My name is Dr Grace Annabeth Altman. I'm a pediatric cardiothoracic surgery resident."
"Where will you do your fellowship," Shannon asked.
"Here," Annie replied, "two years of cardiothroatic first then an additional year of peds after. Possibly adding fetal and neonatal surgery later on."
"Four," Shannon asked.
"Eventually," Annie said, "I like kids and tiny little beating hearts."
"Why did you leave," Catherine asked.
"That's a long story for another day," Annie said.
Josh knew that was Annie's I'm not answering that response.
"I'd like to hear what everyone else has been up to," Annie said scanning for a chair.
"Annie, sit here," Chris said, standing up.
"Two questions first Annie," Wendy said.
"Just two I can handle," Annie replied.
"Are you going to introduce your husband and when are you due," Wendy asked.
"This is Dr Joshua Riggs," Annie said, "and our daughter is due may 12. I'm almost 30 weeks."
"Are you feeling okay," Catherine asked.
"I'm good," Annie replied, "baby looked good at our appointment a few days ago. We're all good. Excited for our little monkey who seems to dance 24/7."
"You and Allison never stayed still," Teddy said, "I'm not surprised."
"Whoes Allison," Catherine asked.
"My baby sister," Annie replied, "she's mama and uncle Owen's daughter. Ali is four."
"I have a 29, a 5 and a 4 year old," Teddy beamed, "big age gap but it works for us."
"How do you make that work," Wendy asked.
"Knowing all three very well," Teddy said, "spending time with each one on one. Owen and I make a point of having one on one time with each of the three every week. Surgery with Annie doesn't count. Time teaching her here doesn't count. We try to do family time as much as we can. My husband's family has a cabin at Mt Baker that we try to escape to when we get a few days off to regroup and be a family. It's only a two hour drive."
Annie sat in the chair Chris vacated and listened to what she had missed in the last few years. Annie and Josh gave vague answers to questions. Chris knew they were holding back and that Josh was setting boundaries to protect Annie. This wasn't the Annie Chris knew. He wanted to send her home where she would feel safe. The sister Chris knew was bubbly, kind and passionate about life. He hadn't seen this behavior from Annie since Jessica had stabbed her eight years before. Chris wanted to take Annie and Josh back to the cozy yellow house, the place they all felt safest and most relaxed. He was happy to see Annie and always looked forward to seeing her but not like this. He wanted to be here celebrating their baby with Annie and Josh when he had visited in November he had no idea until she told him, now it was clearly there. At the cabin she had been excited to show off her bump now it was obvious.
Teddy's phone went off, she listened before calling , "Annie I'm going to need you to scrub in with me. 11 year old coming by chopper penetrating chest wound."
"Coming," Annie said, getting up out of the chair.
"You're doing what," Wendy asked.
"Saving a life," Annie replied following Teddy out of the room.
"Need to go to the locker room and change," Annie said, "meet you on the helicopter pad?"
"Go," Teddy commanded.
The conference room buzzed they were going to see Annie in action.
"Can we watch the surgery," a few voices called.
"That won't be possible," Josh replied , "it's a legal issue you need to stay here. I'm going to go change as well. They'll need a trauma surgeon and with Teddy as the attending she'll let me do the trauma."
"We lost them for the day," Dan said to Chris.
"She may come back after," Chris said, "dad this wasn't cool to bring everyone. Annie wasn't ready for this."
"We know now," Leslie said.
"She doesn't trust you," Chris said, "you set that back. What you're seeing isn't Annie anymore. That's the sister that lived in Cloverdale under constant threat. Annie is very different. I've seen her operate; she's a different person in the OR. Confident, commanding, badass surgeon."
"When did you see that," Jim asked.
"About a year ago. They were part of the humanitarian group that came down to Haiti, I flew them around. Annie took a huge strip off me one day for trying to move her patient before the kid was stable. Called me Sargent Shamoo and a dum dum. What she could do was amazing," Chris explained.
"They sent her," Wendy asked, "why? And a dum dum is she six?"
"Because she's good," Chris said, "I watched her do things that I didn't know could be done. Little kids I didn't think would make it she saved. She was amazing with them. She was calm and gentle with the kids singing grandmere's lullabies then turned and commanded nurses, medics and technicians. I was afraid to talk back to her when we were working. Half the guys in my group were in love with her. But that's my bad ass, kid saving, heart surgeon, big sister. A few of the guys were disappointed she's married."
"Where did she learn that," Leslie asked.
"Owen and Teddy," Chris replied, "they make her use her voice. They taught her to speak up and think."
"Why," Leslie asked again.
"She's good and she's smart," Meghan replied, "our whole family went for the two weeks. Teddy thought it was important Annie had that experience of field medicine and surgery for perspective and to develop skills we took three from the fifth year class, Dr Altman, Dr Jones and Dr Riggs and a few fourth years. Slide recovery was the safest thing to take them into for that experience."
"It was great to work with Annie," Chris said, "to see what we both do. My buddies were a bit scared of her at first."
"The last name and Teddy came in pretty commanding," Meghan smiled, "Teddy in military mode no one dares question. Her and Owen like that together, you don't question."
"And Annie came off pretty bossy with them," Chris said, "she only softened for her family and friends."
"She was following Teddy and my example which was what we asked all of the female residents to do," Meghan said, "she called you Shamoo and C the whole time."
"Full name once to get my attention," Chris laughed, "and a dum dum where did she learn that?"
Meghan laughed, "I call Owen one when he annoys me. I tried to call her on it as her attending but she pointed out that I do the same to my brother."
"It sounds like a good experience," Shannon commented.
"It was," Chris replied, "to see her like that in total control. I knew how in synch her and Josh are at home but to see them operate it was wordless; they knew what the other was doing and it was seamless."
From the conference room door they saw Annie rushing past with Teddy. Both had changed to scrubs.
"What's with the different colours," Wendy asked.
"Teddy is an attending and we all wear navy," Meghan explained, "residents wear light blue."
"Does it matter," Jim asked.
"It does," Meghan replied, "interns are their first year out of medical school and need direct supervision at all times. Residents have passed their intern exam and are able to do increasingly complex procedures on their own but still need an attending nearby. Fellows are board certified but specializing into a specific area they don't need direct supervision and can be the attending if it's within their skill set. Attendings are our strongest surgeons and have the most experience and training. Right now as a fifth year resident Annie gets minimal supervision and is often the lead surgeon. We've offered her the peds cardio fellowship, it's one of only three peds cardio in the country, so she's staying here for at least three more years of training. Josh has accepted a two year trauma spot as well."
Annie stood at the scrub sink beside Teddy, "thank you for getting me out of there."
"I knew you needed an escape," Teddy replied.
"I'm not going back in there," Annie stated, "they saw me, I answered a few questions. People tried to touch me."
"You don't have to go back, " Teddy promised.
"I don't want to see them, it's too much," Annie whined.
"I'm not happy they're here either," Teddy said, "but Owen and Josh are scrubbing in with us. Your okay with us."
Josh joined them, "Chris is getting rid of them."
Annie nodded.
"No turtle babe. You're okay. Look Who's in here. It's just us, your mama and uncle Owen. Breath," Josh whispered hugging Annie from behind.
"We're not going back there," Annie said, "surgery then hiding in uncle Owens office."
"Let's scrub," Teddy commanded.
"No Ct or mri," Annie asked.
"Done at the other hospital and already sent to us," Owen replied, "but it's beyond Dillards abilities."
Annie scrubbed and looked at the chest ct in the screen in the OR as the patient was prepped, "this doesn't look terrible but I need to crack the chest to fix that displacement and the lung."
Teddy nodded, "do you want to take point or assist."
Annie replied, "I need to assist today, can you lead?"
Teddy knew Annie's head wasn't in the game if she was asking Teddy to lead. In the last year Annie ran her OR more and more. She usually liked leading the dance that was surgery.
"I will," Teddy said, "go ahead and open."
Annie opened and began to crack the chest when the patient coded. Together the four of them ran the code.
Hours later with the patient stable and sent to ICU under Annie's interns they scrubbed out.
"Can we get an update from Shepard," Annie asked.
"I will," Owen replied, "see you two in my office. And Annie please go eat."
"Cafeteria then your office," Josh said.
"We'll get an update and see you there," Teddy smiled.
Annie texted Chris, "meet us in the staff cafeteria?"
Chris, "Jenna is just giving an update. Taking longer than planned."
Teddy stood in the door to Amelia's OR, "Dr Shepherd how is the patient?"
"It's more complex than the scans revealed," Amelia admitted, "but I'll be able to get it out I'll just need longer."
Teddy replied, "take your time. What have you found?"
"Waiting for pathology but some abnormal growth and the fluid was murky when I drained it," Amelia said, "hoping it's nothing."
"For Annie's sake please," Teddy said.
"How's she holding up," Amelia asked.
"We just did a penetrating chest wound and multiple crush injuries on an 11 year old with Josh and Owen. Keeping her distracted," Teddy replied, "the McKellar horde is here and overwhelming. If you have any post or pre ops Annie can help with I'll send her."
"I have some that need mobilization but she can't lift," Amelia said, "we're not risking that baby."
"We're not," Teddy agreed, "call me when you know more. I want to know before you tell the McKellars and I will break the news to Annie. I'll join you at the very end to meet Leslie and Dan."
"Of course Teddy," Amelia said, "right now my patient needs me and your daughter needs you."
This is the longest chapter ever I've written.