Teddy stepped onto the porch at Annie's and was greeted by Josh.

"How's Annie doing," Teddy asked.

"She's tired," Josh said, "and still bit sore I think more than she's admitting. I'm trying to get her to lay low and enjoy the baby. She's stressing about the mess in the house."

"I'll tidy up a bit while I'm here," Teddy said, "what do you need me to do?"

"Laundry is her biggest worry, she's stressing about it for no reason, it's baby clothes, blankets and towels," Josh said, "I'll do it when I get back."

"I'll start it," Teddy said, "where is she now?"

"She's on the patio with Ellie," Josh said, "enjoying some fresh air. She was feeding Ellie about 15 minutes ago. I just finished mowing the lawn. "

"How are you holding up Josh," Teddy asked.

"I'm okay," Josh said, "worried about Annie. She's exhausted but insists on getting up every time Ellie cries. She's trying to be supermom. But she is eating, which is always good."

"She's eating enough," Teddy asked.

"She is," Josh said, "she knows she has to for Ellie. This has been good for her. It's made her look at her eating and fix some of those bad patterns. She's doing it for Ellie because Ellie needs a healthy mommy."

"What do you need Josh," Teddy asked.

"A nap," Josh said, "and to go get a few things, milk, bread, apple juice, Annie's tea, some vegetables and hummus, Annie wants a couple other things."

"Go get what you need then come home and nap," Teddy directed.

"Thank's Teddy," Josh said.

"I'm going to go find Annie," Teddy said. She let herself into the house and out to the backyard.

"Mama," Annie whispered. Ellie was asleep on Annie's chest covered with a soft pink blanket. Annie had her head tilted to one side and was smiling at her baby.

"Hi sweetheart," Teddy greeted, she gave Annie a gentle hug and stroked the babies back.

"She's asleep," Annie said, "do you want to try and hold her?"

"She's happy with you right now," Teddy said, "I don't want to wake her. I'll get my Ellie cuddles today, don't worry sweetheart."

"She's almost a week old," Annie said, "how did that happen?"

"How are you almost 30," Teddy asked.

"Not the same," Annie replied.

"How are you feeling," Teddy asked.

"I'm still sore everywhere," Annie said.

"Have you been resting," Teddy asked.

"When I can," Annie replied, "she eats almost every 2.5 hours. We spend most of our day like this. She's calmest skin to skin with Josh and I."

"Alison was as well," Teddy said, "your heart beat makes her feel safe that was the first thing she heard. It's safe and familiar. Sitting like that helps her learn to regulate her own temperature."

Annie asked, "do you think she's warm enough out here? I only have her in a diaper right now."

Teddy asked, "does she feel warm to you? Are her hands and feet warm?"

Annie replied, "they feel warm and she's asleep. She hadn't fussed since I brought her out here to feed her. I desperately needed sunshine."

Teddy nodded, "she's okay then. Are you doing okay feeding her?"

Annie replied, "so far so good. We're learning together. I've tried to pump so Josh can give her a bottle but she won't take it."

Teddy replied, "in time. She's still tiny."

Annie asked, " did you miss doing this with me?"

Teddy said, "I missed you with everything I had. But I didn't understand what we had missed until I had Alison. I wish I had these memories with you. So tiny and peaceful. Asleep on me that baby smell."

Annie nodded, "but our story would be totally different. You wouldn't have Owen."

Teddy nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Teddy turned sideways on the patio chair so her knees were over one arm. It was safe and familiar. They had spent many afternoons in the sun on back decks.

Teddy asked softly, "I have to ask sweetheart are you sure you're okay? You have your anxiety controlled?"

Annie thought, "I'm working on it. Every time she gets fussy and won't settle I worry. I hate having her out of my sight. I made Josh hold her in the bathroom while I showered yesterday. I don't like her being in another room."

Teddy nodded, "are you sure you're okay? I know I felt the same when Alison was a newborn. I hated her out of my sight or seeing anyone other than family hold her. You can still see Dr Wyatt even though you're on maternity leave."

Annie said, "I'd rather see Barbara the counselor I was working with before Ellie. She's the one Meg recommended after all the stuff with Leslie and Dan. Who I finally got up the nerve to call today."

Teddy looked shocked, "you called Leslie?"

Annie replied, "I left a message. I wanted to make sure they were getting my texts and photos. They haven't replied to any of our pictures. I'm trying for Ellie's sake. Grandmere wants me to call tomorrow and she's been texting me. They loved the pictures and want us to come up when she has a passport. I told them we'd talk about it after our boards."

Teddy asked, "what about Chris?"

Annie replied, "we facetimed yesterday. He gets home from the Ukraine in a few weeks. And we'll go see him for his wedding. Not that I like Becky."

Teddy asked, "are Leslie and Dan going?"

Annie replied, "they are. I wanted to talk to them before we got there. Ellie should know all five grandparents. Ellie is lucky she has you, uncle Owen, Ian and my parents. She should know them all. She has four more great grandparents she should know. So far she's only met her nana. Josh facetimed with Ian last night. Ian really liked seeing Ellie. We'll have dinner with him after our boards and Ellie can meet her papa then."

Teddy said, "we love seeing her. I wish I got here more often to see the three of you. She's perfect."

Annie nodded, "thanks. You've been here twice since she came home. She's amazing and that new baby smell I can't get enough of. She's got all this soft hair on the top of her head. It's really blonde and super fine but so soft. And she does the cutest thing with her mouth when she's hungry right before I feed her."

Teddy asked, "how's she sleeping?"

Annie replied, "about two hours between feeds. I try to sleep with her when she's on me like this. It's eat for half an hour, sleep for two, change, repeat."

"It is sweet just to snuggle with them and let them sleep on you," Teddy said.

"I love it but I feel guilty sometimes because my house is such a mess, I have a mountain of laundry and I don't have the energy to deal with it," Annie said, "and I should be studying for my boards."

Teddy offered, "do you want me to do a little tidying, maybe get your laundry going and let you nap with her? Put your boards aside for another week. I'll help you so will Meghan but give yourself two weeks with Ellie first."

Annie looked greatfull, "I'd really appreciate that. Even half an hour of sleep would be good. Maybe we could take her for a short walk after? She liked the carrier and going for a short walk."

Teddy suggested, "why don't you take her into your room so you can lie down. And we'll walk after. See how you're feeling."

Annie asked," can you hold her so I can get up."

Teddy stood up and reached for the baby, "come see grandma for a minute Ellie bug . There's grandma's girl."

"Thanks mama," Annie said, buttoning her shirt before getting up.

Teddy carried Ellie inside cuddling the baby and kissing the top of her tiny head. Teddy swaddled and laid Ellie in her bassinet. She motioned for Annie to sit on the bed.

"At least lie here and read," Teddy said, "I'm going to get some tidying done for you and start some laundry."

Annie looked exhausted sitting on the bed, "thank you."

Teddy watched as Annie laid down on top of the neatly made bed and grabbed her book from the nightstand.

"Get some rest sweetheart, " Teddy said.

Teddy left the room, looking back she saw Annie was nearly asleep. Ten minutes later when she slipped in to get the laundry basket Teddy put Annie's book and glasses on the nightstand and covered her with the soft throw blanket folded at the foot of the bed. Teddy remembered these first stressful days with Alison. The days where she wished for her mom to hold her hand and help her out. Pushing Evelyn away who just wanted to help. But Teddy had wanted her own mom. Someone other than Owen who made her feel safe and protected. Teddy also knew that Annie's relationship with Josh was a lot more mature and stable than her and Owen had been when Allison was born. Annie and Josh counted on one another and relied on the other. They had been together for almost 8 years before deciding to have a baby, when Allison was born Teddy and Owen had been together six months. Yes Teddy had known Owen for 15 years before they had Allison but their romantic relationship was new.

Over an hour later Annie dashed into the kitchen and saw Teddy holding Ellie.

"Sorry I slept through her that's never happened," Annie said, "I feel bad. She must be starving."

Teddy smiled, "it was only a few minutes ago. I was just going to put a couple things on your dresser and noticed her eyes were open. I picked her up before she could fuss and wake you. I wanted you to sleep. Josh called, he's meeting Duncan and Max for a quick coffee. Ellie needed time with grandma. She was going to help me make brownies."

Annie smiled, "your brownies sound perfect. I should have everything."

Teddy nodded, "I already looked. You do. I've got the kettle ready, you sit there with some tea. We can put Ellie in her bouncer and I'll do the brownies. Relax and let me look after you for a bit."

"I could use your brownies," Annie said, "we need a treat."

Teddy smiled, "a treat would be good."

"We haven't had to cook yet," Annie said, "we have the meals people made and froze for us and we've done take out a couple times. I really wanted sushi one night proper sushi like salmon maki and spicy tuna, then Josh wanted Thai the other."

Teddy nodded, "I think Meghan is going to make roast beef for tomorrow nights dinner. Are you going?"

"We are," Annie said, "a little nervous about having her out tomorrow."

Teddy said, "it's a quiet family dinner. You don't have to stay late or come early. Just come hang out for a bit, eat and go. Let others snuggle with Ellie. Nathan and Evelyn have only seen her once."

"What if she gets hungry or fussy," Annie asked.

"Then you feed her," Teddy said, "I sat on Meg and Nathan's bed to feed Allison many times. I'm sure she'll make you the same offer to use their room if needed."

Annie nodded, "I don't want to be out and be that mom with the crying baby. "

"You're with family," Teddy said, "people will understand and want to help you. You'll just have to tell us what you need. How many tantrums have Ali and Leo had at things over the years?"

"Where are Ali and Leo," Annie asked.

"Meghan took them out," Teddy explained, "she wanted kid time. They're talking about adopting."

"They want a baby," Annie asked, "or an older kid?"

"I think Meghan wants an infant," Teddy said.

"They should look into it. She's amazing with the kids and Faroke has done so well," Annie said.

She wants him to talk to you about being adopted and having questions," Teddy said.

"My story is different. I had a living birth parent who wanted me," Annie said, "I'm happy to talk with Faroke tell Meghan to bring him by it's a face to face conversation. I won't text with him about this."

"Do you ever have questions anymore about your adoption," Teddy asked.

"I'll always have questions about my sperm donor's side," Annie said.

"I still hate when you use that term," Teddy said.

"That's all he was," Annie said, " thankfully he was never present in our lives. He's half of my genetic equation and I know nothing about him."

"It's still crass," Teddy said, "does not knowing bother you?"

Annie replied "we have the genetic stuff but I want to keep about his family. What were his mom and sister like. We know what I carry genes for not what actually happened. I have the gene for hashimotos and it activated but will that happen to Ellie?"

Teddy replied, "yours is mild and well controlled."

"I want to ask about taking my thyroxine back down to my normal 100 micrograms," Annie said, "Carina doubled it over the last few months."

Teddy advised, "wait a little longer. At your check up you can ask. Do you see Carina for that?"

"I do," Annie said, "Ellie sees Alex Monday for her check up."

"Alex is good," Teddy said, "will you bring her to see me?"

"Of course," Annie said, "it's look cute and show off the baby day."

"A lot of people want to see her. Only family has so far," Teddy said.

Annie nodded, "we've needed this week to be the three of us and bond. Only you Uncle Owen and Meghan have come."

Teddy agreed, "our first week with Allison only you, Meghan and Evelyn came."

Annie asked, "do I have to let everyone play pass the baby?"

Teddy nodded, "bring her to my office and I'll page the people you want or who should see her."

"Jenna, Duncan, Max, Cassidy, Jeremy, Julia, I want Pierce, Carina, Robbins and Grey to see her, a few of the important attendings," Annie said.

"Webber keeps asking about her," Teddy said.

Annie said, "he can come for baby hugs. He's good with kids. Catherine Fox should come and Kepner and Avery."

"He is," Teddy said, "she's also the first resident baby since Zola. She's in a special club. You know Webber sees the second generation surgeons like you, Maggie, Meredith and Jackson as family. He'll see Ellie as family. I know he has a baby gift for her. He keeps asking when you're coming so he can give it to you."

"Catherine gave us something at the shower from them," Annie said, "he doesn't have to do that."

"He wants to," Teddy said, "so do your friends. They keep asking me about you. They want to see you."

"I'd like to have coffee with Jenna soon," Annie said, "I miss seeing her every shift."

Teddy said, "text her and tell her. Bring Ellie with you. They are easy to take out at this age. Or tell Jenna to come by later. You don't even have to leave the house."

Annie said, "it's the thought of real pants. I'm not ready for real pants yet. My leggings are comfortable and fit."

"Try some of your dresses," Teddy said.

"It's my stomach," Annie said, "and my chest."

"Stomach will go away soon. The muscles need to go back to their normal positions. Give it time," Teddy said, "and your nursing that's bound to happen it's just biology."

"I don't know what dresses still fit," Annie admitted, "and I don't want to try them on."

Teddy said, "there was a purple one you wore last summer and into the fall that was always too loose on you. Try it now."

"The full skirt and the buttons up the front," Annie asked.

"That one," Teddy said, "or you could do leggings and a longer top."

"I'll text Jenna. After I feed Ellie," Annie said, "she's doing the mouth thing. I'm hoping to avoid more crying. I hate hearing her cry."

Ellie began to fuss in Teddy's arms.

Teddy asked, "do you want me to get anything or to go?"

Annie asked, "can you grab me a pillow off the couch?

And what did you say about it with Alison. Don't like it, don't look. With you I don't care what you see, we're both doctors."

Teddy brought Annie the pillow, "how are you so much more relaxed then I was?"

"I have you to talk to," Annie said, "and Josh has been amazing with all of this. Nothing phases him."

Teddy asked, "is he still attentive?"

"He is," Annie said, "it's Josh. He worries and he tries to do everything for me. But that's not real life. I need to do more than look after Ellie."

"She's only a week old," Teddy said, "you're still healing. Let him do things and ease back into it."

Annie nodded, "it's hard admitting I can't or I'm too tired to do something I've always done."

"He's your husband," Teddy said, "I wish I had told Owen more about what I was feeling after Alison was born. I should have told him when I was tired and overwhelmed or just needed to be held and looked after. There was an afternoon when Alison was about a week old that you came over and held her so I could shower. I was tired and overwhelmed and just wanted my girls home. You probably don't even remember it but you brushed and French braided my hair. It was something so small but I was feeling so lost and alone that day that by doing that I knew you cared."

"I remember that day," Annie said, "we took Alison out to see the snowflakes after dinner ."

"That little thing of French braiding my hair which I still don't know how to do. Made me feel safe and connected after spending the week at home with a fussy newborn," Teddy said

Annie admitted, "I broke down crying last night. She was fussy and wouldn't eat. Josh can't help with that if she won't latch it's all on me. Yesterday was rough, I hadn't showered in days and felt gross. I was hungry but hadn't had time to eat. But it ended up with both Ellie and I crying. Josh just held us and stroked my hair until I relaxed. Once I relaxed Ellie relaxed and ate."

Teddy laughed, "the old hair trick still works?"

Annie nodded, "95% of the time. I don't know how you figured that out."

Teddy said, "my mom used to do it when I was a kid then again when I was pregnant with you and overwhelmed by life. It was the first thing I could think of to calm you that summer."

Annie asked, "when they called you that night what did you think?"

Teddy said, "I panicked. Full on mom panic that my baby was hurt. It was my first mom panic . And a bit of confusion why I was being called until I heard how the injury had happened. When I knew you were hurt I had to get to you right away."

"If I got that call about Ellie I would do anything to get to her," Annie said, "I wish she could stay this little and innocent forever. She's already growing."

Teddy smiled, "they change fast at this age. She'll be like this, sleepy and cuddly for a while yet."

"She seems to be getting more alert," Annie said, "or I'm learning to read her."

"I think you're very aware of her and her cues," Teddy said, "I was holding her and wouldn't have picked up that she was hungry."

" She makes that face at me a lot," Annie replied.

"I bet she does," Teddy replied.

"It feels like that's all I'm doing," Annie replied.

"It'll spread out as she grows," Teddy replied, "she'll eat more at once but less often. You'll both adjust."

"It's hard to put her down," Annie confessed, "I feel mean setting her in her bed or her bouncer."

"Once she's fed and asleep why don't we bring her bassinet in here," Teddy suggested, "then you can have some tea and I'll make you brownies. She'll be right with us. She has to learn to sleep on her own, I held Allison until she was asleep for her first year and you know how hard it was to teach her to go to bed on her own."

"Can we go for a short slow walk after, " Annie asked.

"If you're up to it," Teddy agreed.