Annie and Josh walked up to Meghan and Nathan's door Sunday night. Annie was feeling a bit anxious having Ellie out for a family dinner.

"Are you sure she's okay," Annie asked Josh.

"Relax," Josh said, "it's just Teddy, Owen, Evelyn, Meg and Nathan."

"All the kids," Annie said, "germy kids. Faroke was inviting Kira. She wants me to coach her but I'm not there yet."

"They can wash their hands before they touch her," Josh said.

"Where do I go when she gets hungry," Annie asked.

"Ask meg," Josh said, "she'll have thought of that."

"What if she's really fussy," Annie asked.

"Then we calm her down or take her home," Josh said, "you need to relax. She feeds off your stress."

Annie nodded and rang the doorbell. Josh had the car seat over one arm and Annie had the diaper bag.

"Come in," Meghan greeted, "let's see little Ellie."

Josh put the car seat on the hall table and unbuckled the baby.

"Can I," Meghan asked.

"Of course," Annie said, "she just fell asleep in the car."

Meghan gently lifted the baby from her car seat and cradled her. Ellie began to wiggle and cried when she opened her eyes. This wasn't mommy or daddy. The face was friendly and loving but it wasn't mommy. This woman didn't look or smell like mommy.

"I'll take her," Annie said. Annie gently took the baby from Meghan and held her close. Annie cooed, "it's okay Ellie bug mommy's right here. I've got you. Did auntie Meghan surprise you?"

Seeing her mommy and hearing Annie's voice Ellie settled right down.

Teddy called from the living room, "come sit Annie."

Annie carried Ellie into the family room and had a seat on the couch beside Teddy.

"I've only seen this precious girl once," Evelyn said, coming to sit on Annie's other side, "may I?"

"Ellie bug lets go see nana," Annie said, "then auntie Meghan and grandma want to see you."

Annie sat back on the couch and Josh stride behind it leaning against the back of it with his hands on Annie's shoulders. They watched as the baby got passed around.

"Josh lets shoot hoops," Faroke called.

Annie nodded, "go, we're fine."

"Coming buddy," Josh replied, he liked shooting hoops with his little cousin.

Ellie had made her way to Owen who was gently pointing out all the people in the room to the baby. While he and Teddy had three kids he had only gotten to be part of the newborn stage with Allison but he had also seen their oldest graduate college and medical school, get married, finish her residency and have her first baby. Now they were getting ready to send their second to kindergarten.

Ellie began to fuss.

"She's hungry," Annie said.

"Go up to our room ," Meghan said, "it'll be quiet and private for you there. Make yourself comfortable. Or if you want you can stay here I don't know what works for you ."

Annie looked relieved, "thank you I'll go upstairs."

Annie took Ellie back from Owen and headed up the stairs. She was wondering if she was doing something wrong because all day this has really hurt. The pain was almost unbearable. She didn't know what she was doing wrong and Josh couldn't help, he just didn't know and she was a bit embarrassed to ask him to take a look.

Annie decided to ask Teddy for help and texted downstairs.

Annie, "I think I'm doing something wrong, this really hurts. Can you help me?"

Teddy, "do you want me to come up?"

Annie, "please."

Teddy, "coming."

Teddy slipped into the room, "what's wrong sweetheart?"

Annie was nearly in tears, "I'm not doing this right, one side is fine and I have her on that side but the other really hurts. I don't even want to try putting her on that side. It started around lunchtime."

Teddy asked, "can I look?"

Annie nodded. Teddy put her hand on Annie's forehead.

Teddy asked, "Your warm, are you feeling okay?

Annie shrugged, "tired and sore everywhere."

Teddy asked a few more questions before saying, "without touching you I think it is a clogged duct. It happens I had it a couple times with Allison. I can do a more thorough exam and touch you but if it hurts like you're saying you're not going to want me to."

"How do I fix it," Annie asked.

"I'll ask Meg for some Tylenol to get your fever down," Teddy said, "but you've got to get it out. Hot hot shower when you get home then pump as much as you can on that side. You'll feel it when it's out."

Annie whined, "it hurts."

Teddy nodded, "it does. But tell Josh he'll help you. He won't do something stupid like offer to milk you either."

"What," Annie asked.

"Owen panicked and it was the first thing he came up with," Teddy said, "what I needed was a hug and to be held."

"Did I do something wrong," Annie asked.

"Not at all," Teddy smiled, "she's happy and feeding has she gained weight?"

"We haven't weighed her but there's lots of diapers," Annie said.

"Then you're doing it right," Teddy said, "this is all your body adjusting. You're okay. You finish with Ellie and I'm going to go ask Meg about Tylenol to see if we can get your fever down."

"I didn't even realize I was warm," Annie said.

"Just slightly," Teddy said, "you'll be more comfortable. "

Annie nodded, "thanks mama."

"I'll be back," Teddy said.

Teddy went down stairs to the kitchen and whispered to Meghan what was happening.

"Is she okay," Meghan asked.

"She's a new mom," Teddy said, "I've had it happen a couple times and it's painful. She just needs to be looked after. She's putting on a brave face."

Meghan asked, "what can we do?"

"Right now a Tylenol to get her fever down," Teddy said, "then let them dine and dash. She needs to go home."

"There's some in our master bathroom," Meghan said, "top left drawer."

"Thank you," Teddy said.

"I can go," Meghan offered.

Teddy shook her head, "she just wants me and Josh. You know how she is."

"Is she okay," Evelyn asked.

Teddy replied, "new mom who just needs her mama. She's figuring things out."

"I'll help Meg finish dinner," Evelyn said, "you look after Annie."

Teddy went back upstairs and found Annie snuggling a nearly asleep Ellie.

"She falls asleep eating every time," Annie said, "if I don't keep rubbing her back she falls asleep mid feed."

Teddy nodded, "so did Allison. Just hold her and snuggle her."

"I usually like this time with her," Annie said.

Teddy nodded, "just you and your baby. Meg has Tylenol up here do you want one?"

"I don't know," Annie said, "I might wait till I get home and see. I'm going to be rude and dine and dash."

"It's not rude today," Teddy said, "you want to get Ellie home to bed on her routine. Your hardly a week post baby I understand, Evelyn has been there Meghan is a mom she'll understand your baby comes first. I think you should take a Tylenol to get yourself more comfortable. You'll find it easier to care for Ellie."

"Okay I'll try one. We don't have a routine yet," Annie admitted, "she does things when she's ready. Only bath and story time have a schedule."

Teddy asked, "story time already?"

Annie nodded, "one of my favorite little kid memories was being in the story chair with Leslie and her reading to me for hours. I want Ellie to have that memory. Plus when I talked to Cat she said kids that are read to from birth talk and learn language faster than kids who aren't."

"She's a happy baby," Teddy said, "you're doing really well sweetheart."

"This is hard," Annie said, "it makes intern year look easy."

Teddy nodded, "it is. Being a mom is hard. But you're so in love with this little person that it's all worth it."

"I love her," Annie said, "I don't know how to explain it. It's like somehow half my heart went into her."

"I know," Teddy said, "that's being a mom. When she's done and you've had a couple minutes come back down?"

"She's asleep from the look of it," Annie said, "do you want to take her down and I'll be behind you?"

"I can do that," Teddy said, "I always want to snuggle my Ellie bug."

Annie gently passed Ellie to Teddy and fixed her clothes.

"Can you send Josh up," Annie asked.

"You okay," Teddy asked.

"I just need him to hold me," Annie said.

"I'll tell him," Teddy said.

Annie met Josh on the landing.

"Your mama said you're not feeling great," Josh whispered as he hugged Annie.

Annie nodded into his chest, "she thinks it might be a clogged duct. We need to go home right after dinner, give Ellie her bath and read to her and sort it out. Mama told me how to fix it."

"We can do that,"Josh said, "are you okay?"

"It really hurts," Annie said, "I'm waiting for the Tylenol to kick in."

"What do you need," Josh asked.

"Just hold me and stay with me," Annie said.

"I will," Josh said. He ran one hand through her curls. He knew that playing with Annie's hair always helped her to relax and calm down. They rejoined everyone downstairs and Annie curled into the big chair. Seeing that the guys were still outside playing basketball Annie told Josh to go finish his game of two on two.

"Are you okay darling," Evelyn asked.

"Still sore and tired," Annie admitted.

"Why don't you let us snuggle Ellie while you're here and let you eat dinner. Maybe even a couple sips of wine for you," Evelyn suggested, "let yourself relax."

Annie looked at Teddy who said, "a small glass will be fine. She won't eat again for a while after dinner. Evelyn's right you need to relax and let us look after the three of you."

Annie nodded, "I can probably only do a couple sips anyway. I'm sure I have no tolerance anymore. Maybe a couple sips of Josh's with dinner."

"We'll just pour you a couple sips," Meghan said.

Annie nodded, "thank you. I haven't had any alcohol since before we found out. I basically lived in the hospital for the six weeks before I knew working on the stem cell hearts. My shifts were so crazy for that six weeks I think that's why I didn't notice it right away."

"We'll pour you a couple sips," Teddy said, "like we did when you were 19/20 and could drink in BC but not here."

"Thank you," Annie replied.

"It's what family does," Evelyn said.

"Where did Josh go," Teddy asked.

"Back out to finish their game of two on two," Annie said, "I sent him."

Teddy smiled, "your okay?"

"Mama, nana and auntie Meghan," Annie said, "I'm good."

"Teddy quit being a baby hog," Meghan said, "I want to see Ellie."

"Get your own grand baby," Teddy teased.

"Faroke better be at least 20 years from this," Meghan said.

"She's only 29," Teddy said.

"But she's a surgical fellow," Meghan pointed out, "Annie has a career and a plan."

Annie replied, "I always have. This was about a year before we planned but I'm happy she's here. I couldn't imagine not having my Ellie bug."

Teddy nodded, "none of mine were when I expected but I wouldn't trade it for anything . All three are so different."

Annie laughed, "I'm 24 years older then Leo and 25 older than Allison. It's hard to compare."

"Teddy can you help me get dinner from the kitchen to the table," Meghan asked.

Annie offered, "I can help."

"Today you are resting. You're going to let your mama, auntie Meghan and nana take care of you," Evelyn commanded, "I'll take Ellie."

"Nana can I have my baby back," Annie asked, "you can have her after dinner. But I don't know how late we'll stay."

"That's fine darling," Evelyn said, "maybe one day this week you can bring her by and I'll make you and Josh lunch."

"I'd like that," Annie said, "Jenna, Julia and Cassidy are coming for coffee on Wednesday. And Steph is coming Friday."

"I want to see Steph," Teddy said, " I haven't seen her since the wedding."

Annie replied, "she's good we talked yesterday. She's engaged so her and her fiancé are coming and staying at the Airbnb down the street. She's having her first in late November. I'm excited for her and she's moving to Seattle. She got a job at Seattle pres. Our babies can be friends when they get bigger."

Teddy asked, "passing some things on to her?"

Annie shook her head, "I might. There's a couple favorite pieces I'll hold onto in case we decide on another in a few years. But I'm not even ready to consider that conversion. Steph and I always had such different styles anyway. Plus she's a lot taller."

Evelyn was observing the scene and realized Annie probably needed her mama. While the young woman had gotten more confident and independent in the last ten years Annie was still very attached to Teddy especially when things in her life were changing or she felt anxious. Evelyn also remembered how much she wanted her own mother when Owen was first born, someone to help her and tell her she was doing alright.

"Meghan I'll come help set the table," Evelyn said. Evelyn gave Teddy a pointed look and nodded towards Annie.

Teddy sat on the arm of Annie's chair and gently passed her Ellie, "feeling okay?"

Annie shook her head, "still sore but not as bad. I think this might be overdoing it for me. Ellie is fine but I'm nervous having her out."

Teddy put one hand on Annie's shoulder, "it's just family tonight."

"I'm so tired I feel like I just did a 48 hour shift with no breaks and have been hit by a car," Annie whined.

Teddy forgetting people were around began to run her hand over Annie's hair. She knew that playing with her hair has always calmed Annie. Tonight Annie needed her mama, auntie and nana to baby her. Teddy wanted to make Annie feel better. She knew how lost she felt after Allison and how much she just needed someone to look after her. At least Annie was better about asking for help then Teddy was. Even if Annie would only ask Teddy or Josh. In the last couple years she had gotten better about talking with Owen but Teddy realized for this Annie needed her mama.

Teddy nodded, "I know you're sore and tired. But your fever came down so that has to help. What do you need me to do? How can I help you?"

Annie asked, " can you hold her so We can eat tonight. We haven't had a whole meal while it's hot since she was born. What if I'm not a good enough mom? What if I let her get hurt or someone hurts her like Jessica hurt me? I don't know how to be a mom. What if I make her feel as unloved as I felt?"

Teddy smiled, " I can do that. We'll make sure you eat. It's like being a surgeon. You learn as you go. You can do all the reading you want and watch others do it but until you do it yourself you don't really know. Let us help you Evelyn, Meg and I want to help but you have to ask. Ellie loves you. I saw it when you came in and Meghan took her. Ellie looked for you. She just wanted her mommy to know she was safe. Ellie knows you love her; she's calmest with you and Josh."

Evelyn kept watching Annie and Teddy. Something was bothering Annie but Evelyn knew when Annie started to turtle and go into herself she would only talk to Teddy or Josh. Evelyn shook her head she had 6 to worry about that fought with ptsd and each was so different in how they coped if triggered or overwhelmed. Annie became withdrawn and shy often refusing to eat, Teddy refused to talk about what was bothering her and would hyper focus on her children and work, Meghan made jokes about the situation, Owen didn't sleep and worked incessantly while Nathan hovered over and clung to Meghan, Josh was reckless and would go days without sleep. Evelyn saw Annie going into turtle mode but was trying to figure out what could be causing it beyond being a new mom and the massive hormone swings that came with your first weeks with a new baby.

Meghan whispered, "I'm worried about Annie. Teddy said she wasn't feeling well but there's more. I heard Josh and Nathan talking last night. Leslie and Dan still haven't asked to come see Ellie or returned Annie's call or their texts."

"That would be why she's turtling," Evelyn said, "not well and not being supported by her other parents. It's amazing how much they can still hurt her. She was doing so well with it until they showed up in February."

Meghan agreed, "they were so hot and cold with Annie when they were here. When they thought she could get them what they want or do it their way they were warm. But as soon as Annie stood up for herself they pulled away. They thought they could tell her how to live her life. That they had a right to."

"That's got to confuse Annie. She never understood why they didn't fight for her," Evelyn said, "but is she okay now? She's not feeling well and is clinging to Josh or Teddy."

"Teddy thinks it's a clogged duct and Annie just needs time to get it out and Tylenol. We offered it to her but I don't know if she took it," Meghan said, "you have no idea how hard it is to see your child and not be able to tell your mom all about them or when their sick and your worried about them not to have your mom to tell you it's okay. I know Teddy is her mama and they have an amazing bond but somewhere deep inside Leslie will always be mom. You want your mom to see your baby and help you. Annie is close to Teddy and Teddy is her only parent but I think she still wants Leslie to call her or at least acknowledge Ellie."

"I think you're right," Evelyn said.

"I'll go spend some time with her and Ellie one day. Maybe I can get her to open up," Meghan said, "I need baby cuddles. I want one. But it's not possible I'm too old and my injuries were too severe."

"I know sweetheart," Evelyn said, "Teddy was a bit older then you when she had Allison if you wanted to."

"I'm trying not to be jealous," Meghan admitted, "Annie and Josh have the life I wanted for me and Nathan. That was stolen from us."

"I know," Evelyn said.

"We're looking at adoption or foster to adopt," Meghan said, "we're going to an info session tomorrow night."

"That will be exciting," Evelyn said, "how old are you thinking?"

"We want an infant if possible under two for sure," Meghan said.

"The right baby will find you," Evelyn said, "one more to love."