Teddy tucked the little two into bed and grabbed her book and reading glasses off her nightstand. She hated the new glasses but at nearly 51 it couldn't be helped. She hated the glasses, she thought they made her look old, but she was starting to need them to operate and not just read. She should look into contacts.

"Hey," Owen said, leaning over the back of the couch to give Teddy a kiss.

"Hey," Teddy smiled, pulling Owen's collar to bring him closer for the kiss.

"Someone is in a good mood," Owen teased, "have I told you how sexy I find your glasses?"

"Owen," Teddy groaned, "they make me look old."

"Determined, intelligent, wise, sexy," Owen listed.

Teddy put her book on the coffee table with a sigh, "we're getting old Owen. I just feel old."

"You never," Owen said, sitting beside her.

Teddy shook her head, "everything this last year has made me feel old. Leo goes to kindergarten in a few weeks, Allison is in pre-K neither will be at the hospital daycare on school days. Annie is a mom herself Ellie's already 7 weeks. I'm old and what have I done?"

Owen paused, "you've raised three amazing children. Don't say you didn't raise Annie. You're an amazing surgeon, a goddess in the OR. you have more energy than any of our friends. What's this about Teddy?"

"Did you get the email," Teddy asked, "a reunion for the guys in the 54th."

"I went to the last one a couple years ago," Owen said, "they wanted to see you. Half those guys wanted you. The women idolized you."

"Back when I was young," Teddy groaned, "Owen I found grey hairs today. More of them."

"Teddy lets go," Owen said, "the reunion is in September."

"The kids," Teddy said, "Meg and Nathan will go. Annie will just be back to work. We can overwhelm her. Your mom and David are going on that cruise."

"I already talked to mom," Owen said, "it's after they get back mom will come stay here for the three nights we're gone."

"Owen it just reminds me I'm getting old," Teddy said, "I was 32 when I enlisted. I was young and didn't have grey hairs and wrinkles. It was fun. Now I'm just the grumpy old chief of surgery."

"You grumpy never," Owen smiled, "let's go it's a weekend away with Meg and Nathan."

"I don't know," Teddy sighed, "the kids need me."

"Ali and Leo can do a couple nights with my mom," Owen said, "you didn't go last time because you didn't want to leave the kids and we had just adopted Leo. Teddy why don't you like to leave the kids. It's a couple nights. You haven't been away from them since Haiti."

"Because when people first find out about Annie, especially military people they question. They think I don't love my children that I'm not a good mother," Teddy admitted, "I still have so much to make up for with Annie. I don't want Ali and Leo to ever feel as unwanted as Annie felt."

"What are you making up for with Annie," Owen asked.

"I left her with Leslie for 19 years," Teddy said, "I really thought they would love her as their own and she didn't."

"You need to have this conversation with Annie when you're both calm," Owen said.

"I'm calm," Teddy said.

"She's not according to Josh," Owen said.

"Still adjusting to being a parent," Teddy said, "Leslie and Dan getting a divorce and only 8 weeks postpartum she's still hormonal."

"He's back working 16 hour days," Owen said, "today was exhausting and hard."

"He lost that patient," Teddy asked.

"There was nothing that could be done," Owen said.

"Owen I can't leave her to go away yet," Teddy said, "her emotions are still all over the place. She's still fighting her anxiety and PTSD."

Owen took her hands, "what about us Teddy. You and me?"

"We do things," Teddy said.

"With the kids," Owen replied, "we spend time with the family. We take the kids to do things. We never dated, we never had time just us."

"Germany," Teddy said.

"One night the night we made Allison," Owen said, "I want to take you out for dinner, dancing, moonlit walks. Teddy I want a romantic night with you."

"An a military reunion will do that how," Teddy asked.

"Because it's Saturday," Owen said, "we fly down to LA Thursday night. Have Friday to ourselves. We'll stay somewhere near the beach, go for long walks, Friday night go somewhere romantic for dinner."

"You're making a good point," Teddy smiled, "we don't do much just us."

"Teddy we need to," Owen said, "I need you. Just you. The two of us."

"Owen I don't know how to be that person," Teddy said, "I've never had romance or sweet talk, or dates."

"Never," Owen said.

"Never," Teddy replied, "med school. Then I hardly dated."

"Teddy we have to fix this before your birthday," Owen said.

"How about for my birthday," Teddy suggested.

"I can do that," Owen said, "but we will also do one in LA."

"One is enough," Teddy said.

"No Teddy," Owen said, "you make things special for everyone else. I'm going to make things special for you. I dropped the ball there."

"Owen you didn't," Teddy said, "I've never even thought of wanting those things. I like our nights on the couch just us. You holding me and making me feel safe as we fall asleep, going for runs and playing soccer. Owen I don't need the big romantic gestures. I just want you. That's all I wanted from the day I met you. Owen I don't need any more than this. This you and I is what makes me happy. I love you Owen, I always have, I love you now more then I ever have and I will always love you."

Owen pulled Teddy in for a passionate kiss, "I love you Teddy. Teds I have no words for how much I love you."

"Upstairs," Teddy whispered as Owen began kissing her neck.

Owen stood and picked her up off the couch carrying her to their room and laying her down on the bed.

Annie sighed closing the freezer door after adding another bottle of milk to the stash she was building to go back to work. She checked the clock on the stove, 8:30, Josh was off at ten. She hadn't eaten dinner yet and he would be hungry. Ellie was dozing in her bassinet by the couch. She checked the fridge and saw she had almost everything for a picnic. She quietly moved the coffee table and spread the picnic blanket on the floor. Checking the baby was still asleep she began cutting up the cheeses and laying them decoratively on the plate. She rinsed the raspberries and grapes standing them between the deli meats and cheeses. She put the mini charcuterie board down in the middle of the blanket and picked up the bassinet carrying Ellie back to the bedroom. She placed the baby's basket on its stand and stood looking at herself critically in the bathroom mirror. Her body was slowly, too slowly if you asked Annie returning to her pre baby shape. Carina had given her the go ahead to resume normal activities a couple weeks before and Annie was missing some parts of her relationship with Josh. She missed feeling attractive and like he wanted her. Her stomach was still loose and crossed with stretch marks around her scar. She knew Josh liked her fuller bust but was afraid of what he would say about her stomach and hips. She debated what to wear, she wanted a romantic picnic in the living room when Josh got home. Still thinking about what to wear she combed her curls leaving them loose over her shoulders the way Josh liked it. She found a dress she had bought last summer that Josh loved pushed to the back of the closet. She slipped the dress over her head shocked at how well it fit. She returned to the living room and lit the candles on the coffee table and mantle. She finished setting things out on the blanket, two glasses and their favourite wine, a quick salad. Annie checked her watch and went back into the bedroom. 10pm time to feed Ellie. She picked up the baby as she began to wake up and quickly fed her before laying her back in her bed. Annie took the baby monitor to the living room and grabbed a seat on the blanket with a glass of water.

"What's going on," Josh asked as he came through the door, "Annie, where are you?"

"Living room," Annie replied.

"Why are all the candles lit," Josh asked as he put his bag down, he could tell from the flickering that Annie had lit all of the candles.

"I thought we needed some time just us," Annie said.

"Where's Ellie," Josh asked.

"Asleep in our room," Annie said, "fed, swaddled and sound asleep. I just put her down. This is the long stretch."

"And you didn't want to go to bed," Josh asked.

"I wanted to see you," Annie said, "come have a seat."

"I'm tired, " Josh said, "I was in the OR all day. I want to eat shower and go to bed."

"There's food here," Annie said.

"I don't want a living room picnic," Josh grumbelled , "some of us worked all day."

"What did you just say," Annie hissed jumping up from the blanket.

"Annie I swear I didn't mean it like that," Josh said he could see she was pissed.

"I'm here alone 16 hours a day minimum when you work, doing all the housework, feeding and taking care of Ellie," Annie ranted, "I do 90% of our daughters' care alone. You give her a cuddle or talk to her for a few minutes when you first get up and get ready to leave it when you come home if you're not totally exhausted."

"What about me," Josh asked, "what about us?"

Annie shook her head, "why do you think I did this tonight?"

"Come sit," Josh said sitting on the blanket, "I think we should talk."

"What's wrong with us," Annie asked.

"We had a baby," Josh said, "I think in all of this we've forgotten about us."

"I need you to be present when you're home," Annie said, "and not just with Ellie. I need you to talk to me."

"I can do that," Josh said, "I'm worried about you and I can't say it. You've had so much crap thrown at you in the last six or seven months that I don't even know how you function. Jessica showing up, her tumor, cancer, trying to work things out with Dan and Leslie, having Ellie, Dan and Leslie divorcing when have you had a chance to relax? I haven't had a minute to breath. I've worried about you since we found out you were pregnant. Annie I have worried 24/7 for the last year about you."

"And you've been a stress case the entire time," Annie replied, "I didn't need you to fuss and worry. I just needed you to listen."

"Do you know how hard it is to watch you get sick for weeks on end. To hear you in our bathroom sick and sobbing and I can't help. To know I created that situation. To put IV fluids in when you're so weak and dehydrated you can't stand or lift your head off the pillow," Josh said, "nothing I did made you feel better. I felt useless."

Annie sighed, "but you did make me feel better. You sat with me and held me. You were there. That's all I needed. We had no idea my body would react that way. You were there, that's all I needed."

"I can't watch that again," Josh replied, "Annie that was too hard to watch."

"We don't know if it will happen again," Annie said, "they say the second is easier. But next time I will ask Carina for help if it happens."

"Next time," Josh asked.

"Give it a couple years," Annie said, "there's no way I want to do that again now. I don't even feel like myself yet."

"What would that take," Josh asked, "because I miss us."

"I miss us two," Annie said, "but I can't yet. I'm scared."

"What are you afraid of," Josh asked.

"That you'll see me and never find me attractive again," Annie whispered, "Josh I love you and I miss you but I'm not ready for you to see me naked again."

"Annie," Josh said, "that's what you're worried about. That's why you're pulling away from me."

Annie nodded, "you'll hate me and find me disgusting."

"Babe," Josh said, pulling her into his lap, "stop being so hard on yourself."

"But I'm still puffy," Annie whined.

"Annie you carried our daughter," Josh said, putting his hand on her stomach, "Ellie grew there. You are stunning. Annie look at it though my eyes. You are beautiful. I love your curves. You are more beautiful than ever."

Annie shook her head, "no. i'm not me."

"You are," Josh said, "look at me."

Annie looked into his eyes, "you mean it?"

"Always," Josh said giving her a kiss.

"Tonight let's just enjoy our dinner and then we can cuddle before we fall asleep," Annie suggested.

"That sounds like a good start," Josh agreed, "I need you to let me back in. Stop holding everything in."

"Can we start with talking, kisses and cuddles and build back up to that," Annie asked.

"We can," Josh said, "I miss you. I want you."

"I'm just not ready yet," Annie said, "I miss you too. Soon love."

"Tonight we eat then I need a shower and we'll go to bed," Josh said.

"How were your surgeries," Annie asked.

"Hard," Josh said, "I lost a patient on the table, 4 year old boy. Hit by a bus, just darted out into the street and got hit. Telling his dad, all I could think of was another surgeon coming and telling me that Ellie was gone. I had to face him dad to dad. Jenna offered to tell him but I had to. I was the one that told him we would do everything we could to put his son back in his arms. We couldn't save him, we did everything, the bowels were crushed, the spleen and liver destroyed, there was a brain bleed Jenna tried to decompress it but it herniated into the brainstem he was gone in seconds. Annie what if that had been Ellie?"

"Ellie is sound asleep in her bed," Annie reassured, "she's been a bit fussy today but she's sound asleep if you want to go see her. I can warm up some of the chilli from yesterday for you."

"This is good," Josh said.

"You said you didn't want a picnic when you came in," Annie said, "do you want to hop in the shower, check on Ellie and I'll have a bowl of chilli for you?"

"That's okay," Josh asked, "you wanted a picnic."

"Compromise," Annie suggested, "we eat here. Shower, see Ellie you'll feel better."

"I'll be right back," Josh said giving Annie a quick kiss before standing up.