KonoSuba: A Tale of this Beautiful World Vol3

by Dknightodin

The third volume of the series.

5. Chapter 4: In the Grace of Royalty

Chapter 4: In the Grace of Royalty

Part 1

I stared up at the ceiling. A moment later, Megumin slipped into bed beside me, and laid her head against my chest.

I sighed. "I would've loved to take a bath... Hey, Megumin, can we?"

I felt her lightly thump her palm against my chest. "Weren't you the one saying something about decency within the palace? Anyway, it's ok, Kazuma still smells nice."

"Oh? Why, thank you… Did you take a bath?"

I felt her thump my chest again, this time slightly harder. "I-I did."

"You did?"

"Yes!"

Since she was already so close, I could indeed smell the faint, but flowery fragrance in her hair. The question was just to tease her...or maybe to ease the tension I was feeling. It was just me and Megumin, alone, in a separate wing of the palace, in the middle of the night.

Before I could push the thoughts further, Megumin broke the silence.

"Kazuma."

"Huh? What is it, Megumin?"

"The meeting earlier, it wasn't just about Gren's sister, was it?"

Of course, she was sharp when she wanted to be.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't think Gren's sister would be a topic you and the King would have to have personally. It was something more, right?"

"...The King wants us to fight the Northern Demon King."

"Hmm…I thought so." Megumin sighed.

"Oh? I thought you of all people would be worked up about the idea of facing a more powerful foe."

"Umu. The Crimson Demon blood within me boils with excitement, but…"

"...but?"

"But...it would've been nice to spend a bit more time like this."

I felt her snuggle closer and couldn't stop my heart from skipping a beat. "D-Decency, remember?"

Megumin giggled. "Umu, decency."

A few seconds of silence persisted between us, then Megumin spoke once more.

"So, are we leaving tomorrow, then?"

"Hmm…I don't know; might actually be a good idea to stay here for a couple more days." Another thump to the chest. "Ah, no, I meant, there's somewhere we have to go before we head north."

"Somewhere?"

"Umu. Your village."

"The Crimson Village? Why?"

"Well, Darkness doesn't have any armor thanks to Kirby."

"Ah, that's right."

"Not to mention, the smith also wanted to take a look at our weapons a while back; figure I should probably cash that in."

"Hmmm, I suppose it works out, then. Though, I've been somewhat reluctant to go see my parents."

Even though it was dark and she couldn't see, I averted my gaze; I wasn't exactly thrilled about going to see the Missus and Mister, either.

"I guess that settles it," Megumin said. "Let's get some rest."

Then there was silence.

"...So...we're really just going to sleep, then?"

THUMP!

-Next Morning…

"Would you quit looking at me like that," I said to Aqua, "you're the one who made me sleep in another room."

She continued to eye me suspiciously as she took a bite out of the biscuit in her hand. "Humph… I didn't expect Megumin to go along with you. If anything, it's trading one bad situation for another. Although, I can't blame you...being surrounded by two beauties and an actual goddess isn't something I'd expect a boy with barely any social experience to endure."

"The other two aside, I could've probably spent the entire year with you in that barn and never have anything happen—in fact, I'm sure."

Aqua frowned, and then gave a pompous smile. "There's no need to be so untrue with yourself. Even though you're just a godless otaku, since I'm such a benevolent person I'll overlook it this one time."

"Would you two stop talking about such things in Hime-sama's presence?" Darkness said, brows knit in disapproval.

Iris giggled. "It's alright, Lalatina."

Darkness let out a tired sigh, and then shifted her attention to Megumin. "Did you sleep well?"

Megumin took a sip of her tea, and nodded. "It was a good night."

"A-A good night?"

Megumin went for another sip, and then stopped, staring at Darkness from behind her cup. "*sigh* It was a normal, uneventful night, Darkness."

"Ah… I-I see."

"Umu," I said with a nod. "Just a normal night where Megumin and I, closely entangled, shared our body heat."

PFFFT! Darkness spat out her tea.

"P-Please, don't say it like that!" Megumin yelled, face completely red.

Iris stared at us curiously. When my eyes caught hers, she smiled shyly, her ears burning.

"O-Onii-sama and Megumin-nee h-have already done such things?"

"Hime-sama?!"

"Plenty of times," I replied. "There's hardly a day when Megumin doesn't sleep with me."

The person in question grabbed me by the throat. "S-Stop making this misunderstanding worse!"

After clearing up said misunderstanding, our morning breakfast resumed.

"Onii-sama," Iris said, after a little while, "are you all leaving today?"

Megumin and I exchanged glances, then I answered.

"The lockdown hasn't been lifted, has it?"

Darkness replied. "Not yet. It likely won't for a couple of days—at least."

"Aren't we supposed to be guarding Iris-chan for the entirety of the lockdown?"

"Although I'm sure you'd love that to be the case, Kazuma, it isn't; Claire will be handling Hime-sama's security as she's always had."

"But Lalatina," Iris interjected, "can't you guys stay for a bit longer? Please. You'll all be so far away for a long time… I don't know when I'll see you all again."

Darkness looked like she was ready to turn Iris down, but the Princess' soft plea weathered her subject's guard. She looked to me for an answer.

"Of course we'll stay," I said without hesitation.

"For a couple days more," Megumin added.

Iris smiled gleefully.

"You know what these biscuits are missing? Milk!" The goddess of obliviousness and clueless thoughts said.

-Later that day…

"I see," Claire said. "So, you'll be staying a few more days, then?"

Darkness nodded. "I don't want to cause any issues, but Kazuma said he needed to make some preparations."

While seated in the other corner of the room with Iris and the others, I used my lip reading skill and spied on Darkness' and Claire's conversation; experience told me that whenever those two got together, my wellbeing was put in jeopardy. Luckily, this time no such thing took place.

"Kazuma...hey, Kazuma, it's your turn."

Megumin's voice pulled me back to my current activity.

"Ah, oh, um..." I placed a card down.

Iris smiled. "I knew Onii-sama would try to play this way." She placed her own card. "I win."

Aqua threw her cards down in frustration while Megumin sighed.

"How do you two keep winning?! I even blessed myself last game."

"Oi, really? When did you even get a chance to cheat like that?"

"Pfft!" Aqua crossed her arms. "The only cheater at this table is you. How were you even born with such stupid skill? That's gotta be some sort of cheat too!"

I frowned.

"Onii-sama"—Iris leaned over and grabbed my arm—"will you tell me another story from your hometown?"

"Ah, w-well, I don't really have too many left, but let's see…"

"Forget that hikiNEET's boring stories, Iris-chan; let me tell you some stories about my time in Heaven."

"Heaven?" Iris queried, tilting her head in perplexity.

I leaned over, whispering into her ear, "Humor her; it helps with her mental condition."

"Mental condition?" Iris looked at me worriedly, and then slowly stared at Aqua with pity.

"Hey, why is the princess staring at me like that? What did you say to her, you ingrate?!"

"The truth."

"Iris-sama." Claire had come over to the table along with Darkness. "It's time for your lessons."

"Lessons? But Rain isn't here."

"I know I may not be a good substitute, but I'll be teaching you today. Rain has left me her lesson plans, so it should be of little consequence."

"B-But Aqua-sama was about to tell me a story."

"Forgive me, Iris-sama, but you haven't had lessons for the past few days; we can't postpone them any longer."

"B-But the others, what will they do? They're staying for my sake; am I to waste their time with lessons?"

Darkness interjected. "Worry not, Hime-sama, we'll be here when you finish."

"Lalatina!"

"Iris-sama," Claire continued, "it'll only be for a couple hours. Please. This is also for your sake."

"Hey, maybe I can help."

"Yes!" Iris said anxiously. "Can he, Claire?"

"No, Iris-sama. Please don't offer to do such ridiculous things, Kazuma-dono; you'll only serve to be a distraction for Iris-sama. Go somewhere for the meantime."

I sighed. "Why'd you have to show up? We were having a good time before you did."

"You simpleton, how dare you!" Claire clicked her tongue, and then took a deep breath. "Please leave."

After being kicked out, we wandered about the palace. There were some thoughts of going out, but with the capital still under lockdown, there weren't a lot of places we could go. So, eventually, we sat in the courtyard.

"The weather is pretty nice," Darkness said.

"Umu. Good weather for a picnic," Megumin added.

"I agree," Aqua remarked. "I know! Why don't we have Kazuma get some food for us?"

"Oi, have who? I'm not going anywhere."

"But a picnic would be nice to have while we're waiting," Megumin pointed out.

"Great. Why don't you three go get the food, then? I'll stay here and wait for Iris-chan's lessons to be finished."

"Would you forget about Iris for a moment? Let's take this opportunity to have a group activity."

"Aren't you being a bit selfish?" I said to Megumin. "Isn't Iris-chan supposed to be your friend? How could you hoard me for yourself?"

"W-What are you talking about?! I'm only suggesting we do something nice to pass the time! B-Besides, me and you share a special bond, so…"

"Ahem." Darkness cleared her throat. "I don't think it's a bad idea either, Kazuma. Iris-sama's lessons won't be done for a while longer, are you sure you want to wait?"

"You shouldn't underestimate this hikiNEET's tenacity, Darkness. He once sat in his room and watched bamboo grow; I wouldn't put it past him to sit through this."

"That's right, I'm a man of utmost patience. And how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? Next time, I'll switch out your food with your pet chicken."

"Are you really gonna pass up this opportunity?" Megumin queried. "You know, if we're going north, this type of weather is going to be rare; we'll likely not be able to have something like this for a while."

I felt myself frown with the knowledge that she might be right. "...Fine—but instead of going out, why not get the stuff from the kitchen?"

"I can't," Aqua announced. "Last time I went to the kitchen, the people there got mad and told me to get out and never come back."

"Oi, what sort of trouble are you causing me?"

"It's fine," Megumin remarked. "Darkness and I will go; you two can get the blanket."

I sighed. "Ok."

"Come on, Darkness."

Watching the two disappear into the palace, I turned my attention to Aqua. "Hey."

"What is it?" She replied. Her eyes were closed but her face was tilted towards the sun.

"You look like an idiot, doing that."

She gave me a brief scowl in reply. "Since I'm enjoying the warm feeling I have, I'll just ignore that."

"I have to agree, the slightly warm weather and gentle breeze is nice...but you still look dumb."

Aqua pounced on me. "Haven't you been quite rude lately, you unaccomplished otaku! Repent, repent right now!"

"Oi, get off of me, you grandma!"

"AH! How dare you! Take it back! Take it back! Take that back now or I'll make it so you always wake up with a dry throat!"

"Kazuma-dono? Lady Aqua?" Both of us looked up to see the Prince staring back at us. "Are you two...ok?"

I pushed Aqua away. "We just had a small disagreement. Is there something you need...Your Highness?"

"Hmm, not necessarily. I'm just a bit surprised to see you two out here." He looked around for a moment. "The ladies Dustiness and Satou are absent?"

"Ah, they just went to get something real quick."

"I see."

Aqua sat up. "Is there a reason why the Prince is here?"

"Oh." He gave us a proud smile. "I'm off to see my sister."

"Iris-chan?" Aqua said with a tilted head. "She's busy with lessons right now, isn't she?"

"Ah? She is?"

"You didn't know?" I said.

Some brother he was.

"I wasn't aware, no. I thought with Rain-san unable to tutor her, Iris would be free today."

"That other lady is teaching her. What's her name?" Aqua said, thinking about it. "Claire, right?"

"Lady Symphonia? Hmm...this is news to me; I didn't think her to be a scholarly person."

"What's that supposed to mean? You find her to be stupid?" I asked almost out of spite.

"Of course not," The Prince replied with a reproachful glare. "Lady Symphonia is quite the learned person, but she mostly deals with things in a very physical manner. Given her position, it's understandable, but like I said, it makes things like this somewhat surprising to hear."

"This should definitely be more than enough, Megumin; we need to leave some food for everyone else."

"You say that, Darkness, but that kitchen has more food than I've seen entire markets have."

The two had returned.

"Jatis-sama?" Darkness said, her arms holding a basket full of ingredients.

"Lady Dustiness, fancy seeing you here. Kazuma-dono told me you and the Lady Satou were busy. Now I see with what."

"Ah, f-forgive me. Megumin-san and I just borrowed a few pieces of food for a picnic. Is it too much—I-I can return some if it—"

"Nonsense. We've plenty in our stores."

"A-Actually, won't you join us?"

"Should I?" He took a second to mull it over. "Why not? It'll help pass the time while I wait for Iris' lessons to be complete."

"Ah, are you waiting as well?"

"As well? Were you planning on visiting Iris, Lady Dustiness?"

Megumin interrupted. "Actually, Your Highness, we were all planning on visiting her."

"Ah, is that so?"

"Yup," I said curtly.

"But," Megumin interjected, "we can postpone our visit if Your Highness wishes to see his dear sister."

I narrowed my eyes on her. What the hell was this girl talking about?

"Oh...that's umm, ahem, quite obliging of you, Lady Satou."

"Think nothing of it, Your Highness."

"That's not really necessary though, is it?" I remarked. "I mean, we were planning on seeing her first."

Both the Prince and Megumin glared at me.

"What my...companion means is we'll wait patiently for you to finish your visit."

"No, I mean, Your Highness is her brother which means you'll get all the chances to see her from here on out. The princely thing to do would be allowing the heroes who made that possible to go first."

Suddenly, I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and a second later, heard it make a loud popping noise.

As I struggled to hold back the jarring pain, Darkness spoke. "Please don't mind him, Jatis-sama; Kazuma likes to make a lot of jokes. He's astonishingly oblivious to social cues."

"...is he? I suppose I could overlook it...this time. Now, this picnic. It's been a long time since I've engaged in such an activity. Won't you show me how it's done?"

"Of-Of course," Darkness stuttered. "First we need to set a blanket down. Kazuma, the blanket."

"Ah...I didn't get it."

"What?"

"Well, you guys came back kinda fast, so…"

"You imbecile, how are we supposed to have a proper picnic without a blanket?!"

"That's right, Darkness, you tell him!"

"Oi, this is partly your fault too!"

Why was she yelling at me for something so dumb? And why was this stupid goddess acting like she had nothing to do with it? I swear, I'll replace all her booze with water when we get back to Axel.

"Lady Dustiness, are picnics supposed to be eaten on the floor?" The Prince queried.

"Picnics are best held outdoors, Your Highness," Megumin answered.

Darkness nodded. "As such, having a blanket to sit on is customary. It also serves as a place to set the food upon."

"I see."

Jatis looked at the ground; no doubt he was contemplating on sullying his royal highness.

"Don't worry, Jatis-sama, I'll go fetch a blanket." Darkness handed the basket of food to me.

"N-No, it's fine, Lady Dustiness." He unbuckled the cape from his armor and placed it on the ground. "There, this should suffice, no?"

"Jatis-sama...there was no…" He stared at her curiously. "It-It's sufficient." Darkness snatched the basket from my hand, and placed it on the makeshift cloth. "P-Please have a seat, Jatis-sama."

He did so.

The rest of us went to do the same, however, the cape was only big enough for the food and one other person. Naturally, I took the other spot. Megumin and Darkness sat on the floor with no issues, but Aqua stayed standing, staring at the ground disapprovingly.

"Hey, aren't you gonna sit?"

"On the ground? You want a goddess like myself to sit on the ground while you take an opportune spot? Change spots with me."

"Oi, you gotta be kidding."

"Kazuma-dono," The Prince said, "shouldn't you give your seat to one of your female companions?"

Was this man really telling me to trade spots with any one of these girls?

"Jatis-sama," I replied in an overly saccharine tone, "won't you do the same?"

The Prince was, unsurprisingly, shocked at my suggestion.

As I secretly basked in his momentary humiliation, I felt two hands wrap themselves around my head.

"Kazuma is such a jester," Darkness said. Though she laughed as she did, the contrasting pressure on my skull revealed her true feelings.

Unable to really resist her, Darkness pulled me away from my spot.

Aqua promptly sat down. "Here you go, Darkness, Megumin...Your Highness."

From seemingly nowhere, this girl pulled out four cushions.

"Oi! Where's mine?!"

"Ah," Aqua said, feigning surprise, "I must've forgotten yours, sorry." She looked away and smirked.

I made a mental note: Throw away her rock collection and switch out her booze. Got it.

"Now," Megumin went on, "normally the food would be prepared beforehand, but this was sort of a spurious thing, Your Highness. That being said, I believe this a good opportunity to witness the preparation of some good food."

She placed a small burner she unpacked from the basket.

"Megumin, hold on," Darkness said. "Maybe using a burner isn't such a good idea."

"Oh, right."

"Worry not, you two," The Prince said with a proud voice. "My cape is resistant to all forms of damage, including fire."

"Ohhhh," The other's awed.

"He's right," Megumin remarked. "I can sense small traces of magic on this."

With the prideful smile still on his face, Jatis nodded. "It's been specially enchanted by the Golden Thread Witch."

Darkness sat up, eyes full of shock. "That Golden Thread Witch?"

"The very one, Lady Dustiness."

"Wait, who's this Golden Thread Witch?" Megumin asked, giving voice to my own thoughts.

"You haven't heard of her, Megumin?"

She shook her head.

"The Golden Thread Witch is an enchantress of legendary repute. It's said she's capable of imbuing items with any spell imaginable."

"Any spell?"

"According to some, you'd only need think it, and she'll bring it to fruition. In fact, my father had one of his robes enchanted some years ago. Personally, I believe some of the stuff that's said to be exaggeration, but there's no doubt the level of her work is genuine."

"Amazing."

The one who answered this time was the Prince. "The Witch isn't without quirks, however. She has a strict policy against enchanting weapons of any kind."

"Is there a reason why?"

The Prince shrugged. "I've never asked—although, I'm sure there's a story behind such a decision. There must be. Someone of her caliber would have no trouble enchanting weapons."

"Hmm." Megumin flared her cape, examining it as she did. "Perhaps I should pay her a visit; is she somewhere in the capital?"

Jatis chuckled. "Heavens no. The Witch's abode lies to the east, in the Regisbane Swamplands."

"Regisbane Swamplands," Megumin murmured.

"Are you familiar with it, Lady Satou? It's near the boundaries of our good kingdom."

"I've read about it back in the village, but other than that, no."

"Quite the dismal place, it is. If it weren't for the Witch, there'd be little reason to journey there."

"So, not a lot of people visit, then?"

"No, quite the contrary. From what I hear, many make the journey, but few return with what they wish."

"Is the place dangerous?"

"No, not really. Although there's few patrols so far out, there aren't a lot of monsters or predators either. I'm unsure, but I've heard mentions of the Witch's influence being a primary factor."

The rest of us exchanged looks.

"Anyhow, enough talk of the Witch. Let us continue partaking in this picnic you all have graciously offered."

Afterwards, Megumin and Darkness prepared the food, mostly some sandwiches while Aqua showed off her abominable inventions.

"Remember, the more mayo it has, the better."

Jatis cleared his throat. "What a...unique color and texture."

"Here," Aqua said, passing the plate over.

"A-Ah, forgive me, Lady Aqua, I can't." He gently pushed it away.

"Something wrong with it?"

"Yeah, Jatis-sama, is there any reason you won't eat your host's food?" I said, secretly instigating.

"N-Nonsense. I'm simply satiated. To eat any more would be gluttonous of me."

"That's fine," Darkness said, taking the plate.

Knowing what the other was up to, we glared at each other.

"Ah, thank you, Lady Dustiness, Lady Satou, Lady Aqua. You've all been quite hospitable, but I should take my leave. I believe more than enough time has passed since Iris began her lessons."

"Right."

Darkness and Megumin packed away the remaining food and items. Then, Darkness, took Jatis' cape, dusted it off, and handed it back to him.

"Have fun, Your Highness," Megumin said with a short bow. "Take your time, I'm sure it's been some a while since you've gotten to talk with your sister."

"Ah, it has. Thank you, Lady Satou. Well then, I'll be off. Ah, that's right," He said without turning, "thank you to you as well, Kazuma-dono. Farewell."

I had many issues with the Prince, but at the moment, my greatest problem came from the three who did everything in their power to sabotage me.

Part 2

"Oi," I said, looking at them. "What the hell do you guys think you're doing—especially you?!" I said, glaring at Megumin.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't give me that; you know exactly what you did! All that talk about letting the Prince see Iris; you just don't want me to go spend time with her!"

Megumin quickly averted her gaze. "I-I don't know what Kazuma is talking about. I was simply being respectful to a member of royalty."

Seeing me about to grab her, Megumin tried to get away. Luckily, I managed to grab onto her cape and pull her in. "Since when the hell did you care about royalty? You care as little about decorum as I do!"

"T-That's not true! I'm a law-abiding citizen and an exemplary mage. I always follow the rules!"

"Who are you trying to fool with such blatant lies, you damn loli! Now stop struggling and accept your punishment!"

"No, stop! Darkness, Aqua, help me!"

I quickly distanced myself from them and took a combative stance.

"I've been pretty lenient with you guys lately, haven't I? Well, my patience is running thin!"

"Weren't you bragging about how much patience you had earlier?" Megumin said as she shifted herself between the other two. "Seems like you're the only one lying here."

"Oho, aren't you being quite mouthy, Megumin. Don't worry, after I get done with bimbos one and two, I'll deal with you."

"B-Bimbo?!" Aqua and Darkness yelled.

Aqua cracked her knuckles. "Alright, Darkness, let show this boy how much of an under-leveled nobody he is."

"Gladly."

"Wind Gust!" I left them no time to prepare and immediately attacked.

"Careful," Megumin cautioned, "he's gonna try to use his blinding combo!"

"Create Water!"

Caught off guard, the girls were doused with water.

"Water?" Aqua said with a laugh. "Is that all? This is practically like basking in the sun!"

"Freeze!"

"AHHHHH!" The girls yelled as the chilling wind began to freeze the surface of their bodies.

"T-This is nothing!" Darkness yelled. She slowly turned towards the freezing mana flowing from my palm, and began stumbling towards me.

"Create Water!" I shouted once more.

"Ha! T-Trying the same thing again? I already t-told you, it won't w-work!"

"Create Earth! Freeze!"

"Where are you even aiming at?! Huh? I can't… My feet, they're..."

I smirked. "Like it? It's something I learned a while back while fitting the A/C units, makeshift concrete!"

"GOD BLOW!"

I quickly turned and shouted, "Freeze!"

The ground in front of Aqua turned to a thin sheet of slippery ice causing her to instantly trip.

"Create Earth! Freeze!"

Instead of cementing her to the ground like I did with Darkness, I used my ability on Aqua's face, namely her eyes, essentially blinding her.

"Now then…" I turned my sight on the last one, the little devil in red.

Despite being the only one, Megumin kept her guard up; she held her staff pointed at me, its tip shaking, betraying the fear of its owner.

"Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you," I said, pointing at her.

"Hehe, if Kazuma thinks I'll be an easy target, guess again. I already mastered a new—"

"Bind."

"Ah, no fair! No fair!" She yelled as she struggled with the binds.

I walked over to her and knelt down. "Ah, what was that, Megumin? Did you say something?"

"W-Wait, Kazuma, don't—ahhhh…my mana. I'm being drained. ...I've been...defiled."

"Kazuma-dono?"

I looked back to see a familiar strict-faced woman. "White-suit?"

"What...are you doing?"

"Huh, what are you…" I looked at the bodies of the three sprawled out girls before me. They were wet, caked in mud, and groaning. "Ah… This isn't...what it looks like."

Naturally, she stared at me with disgust. "I was beginning to think you could be a reasonable, if not, a somewhat questionable person, but…" She stared at three writhing on the floor. "Perhaps I should stick with my initial assessment and keep you away from Iris-sama."

"Didn't I just say this isn't what it looks like?"

"You mean three sodden women covered in—what even is that?!"

"Stop making it sound worse than what it is. These three got what they deserved, that's all."

"Ha!" Darkness let out a gleeful breath. "It's becoming sticky. I-I can feel it seeping into my clothes."

"...Oi."

"Ah, I'm so tired," Megumin began to comment. "Kazuma, I think you may have done it for too long; I'm totally drained."

"O-Oi! Stop it! You're gonna make things worse!"

I looked back at Claire, and indeed, the disgusted look was now mixed with apprehension and fear.

"You idiot!" Aqua screamed. "I can't see! You got it all over my eyes!"

"Ah, to think you would assault us like this in broad daylight," Megumin prattled on.

"Indeed," Darkness added. "To think you could do so with so little hesitation and so much force."

"Your nickname, Kazuma the Brute is well deserved."

"Oi, you guys, stop it! I can feel what little respect I've garnered slipping away!"

"Wahh, to think you could defile someone of holy cloth," Aqua said with fake sobs. "I only tried to protect them."

"Oi!" I turned towards Claire in an attempt to clear up the misunderstanding. "H-Hey, it's not what you think it is! They're exaggerating! You don't believe them, right?!"

She slowly backed away. "G, Guards!"

-Sometime later…

"I can't believe that NEET; everytime he gets something new, it always goes to some nefarious perversion of his." Aqua rinsed the soap from her hair.

"Still, don't you think we may have gone a bit too far?" Darkness remarked as she doused herself with the warm bath water.

"Humph, I think it's a good thing he's locked in his room."

"Oh? That's a little surprising coming from you, Megumin," Aqua replied.

I sunk slightly into the water. "He always gets like this when it comes to Iris," I groaned. "When is he gonna get his act together?"

Darkness smiled faintly. "Well, I suppose that's just Kazuma, isn't it?"

"Such an indecisive man…" I stared at my ring finger. Of course, it was bare; my ring was tucked away with my other belongings at the moment. "If he's still wondering about things like that, why'd he agree to the marriage?"

"Probably so he could parade you around as his girlfriend," Aqua replied trivially. "After all, he didn't have any friends back home, nevermind a significant other."

"You know, Aqua, you really don't pull any punches."

Darkness chuckled. "It seems like Kazuma is just enjoying the attention he's getting; I'm sure in time he'll settle down, Megumin."

I sighed.

It wasn't like I really cared that he interacted with other women, I just didn't want to be treated like just another one.

-Meanwhile…

"DAMN THOSE GIRLS! If they wanna frame me for those acts then maybe I should give 'em a little taste!" I quickly stared at my door; maybe I shouldn't say such things out loud.

Due to some false accusations, I was confined to my room and a pair of guards assigned to keep tabs on me. Although I could probably take them out via Drain Touch, it likely wouldn't help my case.

I clenched my fist angrily. How dare they ruin the final moments I'd have with Iris! DAMN THEM! Maybe they were too stupid to remember, but soon enough, it'd just be me and them, and then I'll teach them what Hell is!

"Ugh, whatever," I thought.

I laid down and closed my eyes in an attempt to sleep.

One minute, two minutes, I turned. Three minutes, four, I turned again. I opened my eyes; I couldn't sleep. I was too frustrated, too angry.

"Argh!"

If I was gonna have a bad time, then I'll make sure everyone else does too.

"Excuse me," I called out from my bed.

But there was no answer.

"Excuse me," I said a little louder.

Yet the reply was the same.

"Oi, is anyone actually out there?!" I said, getting up.

I opened the door, and was quickly met with crossed spears. The guards who held them were spaced far enough that even if I wanted to Drain 'em, it would be difficult.

"What is it, Kazuma-dono?" The one to my left asked.

"Eh, um, I-I was wondering if you could get me something to drink."

"Negative. I was tasked with keeping you guard, not becoming your personal assistant."

"Oi, is that how you treat the hero who saved the kingdom?! Can't you at least get me something to drink?"

Both of them gave me discerning glares. Then the one on the left looked to his counterpart on the right.

"Hey, Vela, we're companions, right?"

"Sure, what of it, Jensen?"

"If I ever assaulted you in broad daylight, what do you think would be an appropriate punishment?"

The guard, Vela, smirked. "Ah, Jensen, I'd probably run my spear right through your rotten chest. I don't think I'd even call the guards."

O-Oi, was this really something people protecting the royal family should be saying?

The man, Jensen, went on. "Ah, I thought so. I recently heard of someone who did exactly that, and do you know what he got as punish—"

"A-Ah ok! You've made your point!" I shut the door.

Bastards.

I looked around the room, searching for a way out, but I knew there was none; the room was located within the inner parts of the castle, so something like a window didn't exist.

"Damn it," I cursed under my breath.

This room was more like a fancy prison. Normally, I wouldn't care about being stuck in my room, but this was only when I made the decision; being forced to do so, sucked!

Why was this happening?! I only wanted to spend a bit of time with Iris before I left; why was everyone always trying to get in the way!

I leapt onto the bed and hugged my pillow in sadness.

Suddenly, I heard Iris' voice; was I dreaming? "Is Kazuma-san in there?!"

"H-Hime-sama? W-What are you doing here?" The male guard said.

"Iris-sama, please, just—"

"You locked him in here, didn't you, Claire?!"

"I-I—"

"Claire, I'm very angry right now!"

"I-Iris-sama…"

"Open the door, you two!"

"R-Right, Hime-sama."

A second later the door opened, and the princess, my lovable, caring, and dear little sister came to my side.

"Onii-sama, are you ok? They didn't mistreat you, did they?"

I gave the guards a reproachful glare, and then sneered. Turning to Iris' worried face, I said with muffled cries, "T-They tried to starve me of food and water."

Iris gazed at them with scrunched brows.

"N-Now hold on! Symphonia-sama! Symphonia-sama made us do it!"

"Huh?! I-I certainly didn't—"

"Claire," Iris said with a pout.

"I-Iris-sama, please understand, I merely wished to keep you safe."

"Keep me safe from who? Onii-sama would never hurt me!"

"I…" Claire cleared her throat, regaining her composure thereafter. "The reason I confined him to his quarters is because of the situation I encountered. Iris-sama, while I don't believe Kazuma-dono would harm you physically… Y-You should've seen the condition in which I found the Ladies Aqua, Dustiness, and Satou; it was deplorable, to say the least."

"It was just a little mud and water!" I countered.

Claire knit her brow with distaste.

"In any case," Iris interrupted, "I don't want you to lock Onii-sama in his room. He's a valued guest and should be treated as such—you hear me, you two?!" Iris said looking towards the guards.

"Y-Yes, Hime-sama!"

"Good. Please let others know."

They bowed in acceptance. Then, Iris turned her attention to me.

"Onii-sama, my lessons are done, so if you'd like, we can spend some time together, now."

"Ah, um, sure."

"Iris-sama."

"Yes, what is it, Claire?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. "N, Nevermind… If Iris-sama wishes to be so willful, then there's little I can do; however, as your personal bodyguard, I refuse to leave you alone with Kazuma-dono."

"Oi, haven't you been wrong about me before; why is it you keep thinking I'm gonna do something weird to Iris-chan?"

"It's precisely because of the things before that I doubt you, you cretin! Add to that the most current event and you'd have to be entirely inept and oblivious to not take some measures!"

"That's enough, Claire!"

"But Iris-sama—"

"Claire!"

"Iris-sama, please! Come, let us discuss this in a more appropriate place."

"Claire...you're making me very upset."

"I…understand. I, I'll leave you." She glared at me viciously, and then left.

The guards quickly shut the door behind her.

After a few moments, Iris took my hand lovingly. "Will Onii-sama tell me some more stories of his adventures, now?"

"Ah, of course. Hmm...right, let me tell you about the time one of my guildmates got into some serious trouble."

"Oh, did it have to do with 'the Princess' of the guild?"

"No, it was some time before that. You see…"

-Walking back from the baths…

"Haaaaa." I sighed in relief. "The baths here truly are amazing."

"Umu," Darkness said with a nod. "No matter how many times I bathe here, it never gets old."

"I have to agree," Aqua added. "The water here is almost as pure as the stuff I make."

"On that topic," I interrupted, "I've been wondering, don't you purify anything you come in contact with, Aqua?"

"Hmm, what do you mean, Megumin?"

"Well, the bathwaters are special; they definitely have some extraordinary properties. I was wondering if you purified it or something."

She waved off my concern. "Even if that's the case, there's nothing better than whatever I purify. If anything, the water should be a lot healthier now."

Darkness interjected. "Please tell me you didn't, Aqua."

"I wonder what that hikiNEET is up to right now."

"Well, knowing Kazuma, he's probably trying to find some way out of his room. And you didn't, right?"

"That's unlikely," I remarked. "There are no windows in that room. As far as I can tell, the only way in and out is the door."

"Aqua?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," She said. "One thing that boy is good at is finding ways around seemingly impossible odds. Did he ever tell you about the time he got his head stuck in the staircase railing? His parents weren't even home. Ended up squeezing through the entire thing like the little slime he is."

"H-Hey, you didn't, right?!"

I sighed. "Maybe he's learned his lesson now."

As we approached the room, the guards granted us access, and upon opening the door…

"So, Onii-sama's friend was innocent?"

"Umu, that girl was making false claims against him. Personally, I don't think it was possible anyhow; GorGoro wasn't the type of guy to talk to girls, let alone touch them."

"W-What do you think you're telling Hime-sama!" Darkness said, quickly marching in and covering Iris' ears.

"Oh, you guys are back to ruin my time with Iris, aren't you?"

"Stop being stupid," Aqua retorted. "We only came because Megumin was feeling a little bad about the whole thing."

"But it seems like I shouldn't have bothered," I remarked. "Seems like you're having a great time without us!"

"That's right! Did you forget who caused this entire thing?! You guys!"

Iris gently pulled herself away from Darkness. "Onii-sama was just telling me another story. I hope you all aren't upset."

"No one's upset at you, Iris-chan," Aqua replied.

"It's this troublesome man," I added.

"Shoo!" He said. "Go away!"

I squeezed my staff in anger. "Fine! We'll give you all the peace and quiet you want!" I grabbed Iris and pulled her along with me.

"M-Megumin-nee?"

"Oi, where are you going with Iris?!"

"None of your business!" I yelled back. "I hope you rot, you idiot! Darkness, come on!"

As soon as she stepped out, I slammed the door shut, grabbed the guards' spears, and crossed them into the door handles.

"W-Wait, Megumin-nee, what are you doing?"

I felt the heat of my anger surfacing, and it was proving difficult to control. I met Iris' gaze with a misdirected glare. "I'm giving that idiot what he deserves. Now, let's go have some fun without him, shall we?"

Pulling the others along, I wandered aimlessly through the palace.

"Megumin-nee," Iris said with an apprehensive tone.

"What is it, Iris?"

"Umm, is this my fault?"

"...It's Kazuma's fault."

"Are you...sure?"

"...Let's forget about that for now. We were gonna have fun, so let's."

"Um...ok."

"Megumin," Darkness called out as she trailed behind, "can you slow down?" She sped up, finally walking by my side. "Clearly you're upset, but you need to calm down a bit. I don't know where you think you're taking Iris, but I don't think I need to remind you that we can't really leave the palace."

I stopped abruptly, causing the others to stumble to a halt.

"Let's leave the capital."

"What?! Didn't you just hear what I said?"

"I heard you loud and clear."

"Then what are you—"

"It's because of Iris, right? Then the answer is simple, we won't take Iris."

"Wait—I mean, yes, but…"

I looked at Iris, who stared back at me with a saddened expression.

"That's right, Iris, you won't be leaving the palace; Alice will."

"Alice?!" Darkness said incredulously.

Iris smiled.

"It's fine if Princess Iris doesn't leave the capital, right?"

"M-Megumin!"

"Iris, I mean, Alice, go get your adventuring gear."

Iris nodded happily, and ran off.

"Hah...hah...why'd you guys...run away?" Aqua, gasping for breath, angrily asked.

"Megumin, we can't take her; do you have any idea what would happen if anyone found out?!"

"Probably something bad. That just means we have to be very careful."

"Megumin."

"Think about it, won't it be fun to try and evade the guards and patrols, to smuggle the Princess out of the capital? Ah, it's been quite a while."

"Megumin, this isn't a game! People have tried to hurt Iris."

"Darkness, calm down. First of all, Iris will be with us three. Second, she's part of the royal family; she can handle herself in a fight, I've personally seen it. Third, no one besides us will know she's gone."

"Megumin!"

"It'll be fine, Darkness. This isn't the first time—I mean, ahem, I promise. Besides, if we get into trouble, we have our reliable Crusader, right? Even without armor, I'm sure you're the toughest person around."

"...*sigh* Fine. But the moment there's any danger, you guys get behind me, understand?"

"Don't worry, Darkness, should anything happen, I'll make sure to keep you guys safe."

"D-Don't promise me anything like that, that's my job! I'll keep everyone safe, just promise me you'll leave the defense to me."

"Ok."

Then Aqua spoke. "Hey, you guys, I'm pretty tired and I'm starting to get a bit sweaty. I'm gonna go to sleep, you guys can go without me."

"Wait, Aqua," Darkness interjected. "You have to come with us."

"Huh? Why?!"

"What if someone asks you about Princess Iris' whereabouts?"

"Also, should anything unexpected happen, it'd probably be a good idea to have your healing around," I added.

Aqua crossed her arms and gave us an unconvinced stare. "*Sigh* I guess." She smiled. "What would you guys do without me?"

After waiting a few more minutes, Iris came back dressed in her alternate persona, Alice.

"H-How do I look?" She asked.

"Umu, not bad," I replied, noticing the eyepatch. "No one saw you leave, right?"

"Of course. I even told the guards that I'd be asleep and didn't want anyone disturbing me."

"Oh? Impressive."

"Hold on, Hime-sama; if you told the guards that you'd be sleeping, how'd you get out of the room?"

Iris grinned. "I'm quite proficient at using ropes, Lalatina; I climbed down the balcony."

"The balcony?! That's incredibly dangerous, Hime-sama! How'd you even learn something like that?!"

Iris and I briefly traded stares, and then secretly giggled.

Part 3

"Ok, that should be the last one," I said, peeking around the corner. "Come on."

The four of us dashed across into an alleyway.

"It should be around here," I murmured.

"Ah, Megumin-nee, I think I found it." Iris moved a couple of planks. Then, pushing aside the box behind them, revealed a crack in the wall.

"What is this?" Darkness asked in surprise.

I grinned. "It's an escape route our thieving group uses for purposes like this."

"T-This is a security concern, Megumin. Ugh, how long has this been here?"

"Don't worry about that, it's properly hidden. Now, come on."

Iris was the first to squeeze through; then, me, Aqua, and finally Darkness.

"Ugh, wait, Megumin. I-I think I'm stuck."

"Huh?" Looking back, I saw Darkness was indeed firmly wedged in place.

"Ugh, I can't...move," She said, struggling to do so.

My eyes narrowed on the culprit.

"Ah, Megumin-nee, didn't Yunyun-chan also get stuck?"

I looked away, and then cleared my throat. "Yunyun aside, none of our other members—"

"Didn't Cecily-nee as well?"

"...Most of our members haven't had issues with this route."

Aqua, who was standing by rubbing her chest, spoke. "I don't know, Megumin, that hole was pretty tight when I went through. Ah, I know, maybe it has to do with chest size?"

I looked down at mine, and then felt a bout of crushing disappointment come upon me. Yes, looking back, only those of our members with…"novel" chest sizes got through without any problems.

"...Ahhhh!" I charged at Darkness and began yanking her with all my might.

"Wait, Megumin, ah, my—ah, no, hahhhhhhh!"

-On the outskirts of the Capital

"Megumin, how far are we going?" Aqua whined.

"Just a bit further," I replied. "Are you ok, Darkness?" I said, glancing back.

She nodded, her ears red and forehead covered in a layer of sweat. "It-It's nothing. My chest feels...mmmm...hahhhh."

Going off her disturbing reply, I deduced she was fine.

"Megumin-nee."

"Hm, what's wrong, Iris?"

"I was wondering where we're going. I mean, I'm excited to be out, but…"

"I see. Don't worry, we're just going far enough to not alert the capital; it'll be troublesome if they sent some knights out here to investigate."

"Ah, so, Megumin-nee is simply practicing her explosion magic."

I smirked as I stuck my chest out proudly. "It's not simply another routine act of casting Explosion."

"Oh?"

"You'll see once we get there."

-Eventually…

"Here we are," I said, coming to a stop.

On the plain, tens of meters in front of us, was a camp of roaming kobolds and goblins.

"Monsters," Darkness said, stepping forward.

"Wait."

Darkness raised her brow as she looked at me in slight confusion.

"Just standby and defend me... Iris."

"Y-Yes?!" She yelped in surprise.

"Behold, the power of the one named the Crimson Annihilator."

I closed my eyes and began to focus. Slowly, I raised my staff and said:

"Alias of destruction I call upon thee. Summon thy strength and exhume the earth before me. From thy judgement shall the wicked be turned to dust. Let none who stand before me take breath. From their bones rend flesh, from their body rend soul. My crimson blood yields infinity, my crimson blood sows death, my crimson blood reaps evil. Dust to dust, ash to ash, let this be the hallmark of their wicked existence! Harbinger of destruction I beseech thee, let these grounds mark their eternal graves! ALLUVIAL EXPLOSION!"

The target area was consumed by an impenetrable cloud of dust and sand. The sound of the blast was dull by normal standards, almost underwhelmingly so; however, the shockwave that came, was anything but. It barreled towards us blindingly fast, and with it, came a hail of rocks and gravel. Though we were far enough away, the materials that struck us stung immensely. That which hit skin left it reddened and covered in a layer of grimy dust.

"Heal, Heal, Heal." Aqua healed us moments later.

After everything settled, we—well, the others, walked over to the now leveled camp. Littered across the grounds were the decimated bodies of monsters, still mostly intact.

From Aqua's back, I examined the site and the effects of the spell; I concluded it to be a horrifying modification. My new variation of Explosion included a heavy dose of earth magic, and the tiny granules of earthen material became the primary weapon. Ejected from the impact site at breakneck speeds, the granules ripped through soft material like the claws of a wild beast and wrought flesh from bone with ease. The only thing that made this sight even remotely tolerable was the thick layer of dirt that covered the bodies.

"Look!" Iris said, pointing. "One's still alive!"

Darkness quickly got in front of us to defend.

The monster stumbled to its feet, and faced us. It let out a deathly shriek, and then charged.

"DECOY!"

"EXTERION!"

In a flash, the last living member of this camp was exterminated.

"Hmm, this wasn't even that far away from the city," Darkness said. "What's a camp like this doing so close to the capital?"

Iris sheathed her sword. "I'm unsure. Is it uncommon for monsters to build so close?"

Darkness nodded. "Goblins and Kobolds tend to build far away from settlements, so their habitats are usually near wooded or mountainous areas."

"Hmm, it is pretty odd," I remarked. "Although I've scouted this place out with Yunyun some time ago, I still find it a little weird that these monsters would make a home so close to a human settlement."

"Wait, what was that, Megumin?"

"Y-You fools, what have you done?!" A man came running out of the nearby bushes.

He had the typical appearance of a young man, but the armor he wore seemed to exude the opposite, and although I wouldn't say I was well-informed on armor and the extent of its protection, my overall deduction led me to conclude that this man valued mobility and speed over a stalwart defense. Even a novice like me could tell he held some level of experience.

"Huh? Who are you?"

"That's not the important thing here! What even was that?! I've never seen anything like that in my entire life!"

"Oh, impressive, wasn't it?" I said with much pomp.

"No, you idiot!" The man replied, angrily stepping towards me and Aqua.

"Hold on!" Darkness said, placing herself between us. "I don't know who you are or what you're doing here, but I need you to step back."

"And who the hell are you?!"

"Maybe you should give that information out first," I retorted.

"Yeah," Aqua added.

Seeing us glaring him down, the man stepped back some, and crossed his arms.

"Screw you, I don't need to tell anything to the person who just tossed weeks of work down the drain."

"Wait, this was your doing?" Darkness queried.

"What do you mean, 'my doing'? This camp was an assignment given to me."

"An assignment?" Iris said, tilting her head in perplexity.

"That's right. I was tasked with trying to tame and raise these monsters. W-Why am I even telling you this?!"

"Raising monsters? I've never heard such a thing," Aqua commented.

"Umu, neither have I," Darkness asserted.

"The closest thing I can imagine are the onion duck conservations we have back in the village. Still, goblin and kobolds..."

"It's a relatively new field of research, so we've had a lot of set backs, but this one..." The man glanced at the razed plot of earth. "It seemed promising."

"Hmm, if that's so, then I apologize," Darkness replied, bowing slightly.

"Tch, I don't need your apology, I need compensation; your apology isn't gonna bring back weeks of progress and active research!"

"Ah, s-sorry."

Iris stepped forward. "Can I ask what sort of compensation you're seeking?"

"Iris-chan," Aqua interjected, "you shouldn't ask that of shady men—especially when he has a group of beautiful girls in front of him."

"A-As if I'm that sort of guy! Humph, don't get full of yourself! I'm a self-respecting explorer and mercenary."

"Doesn't that just make you a typical adventurer, then?" I remarked.

"S-Shut up, it's not the same! Unlike your typical adventurer who's in it for simple coin, my loyalties lie with a certain professor."

"Professor?"

"That's right," He said, proudly grinning. "Perhaps you've heard of him, the famous Professor Barton."

"..."

"Professor Barton?" Iris said.

"Wait, isn't it that weird guy who likes to do odd things with monsters?" Aqua commented.

The man swiftly interjected. "Of course not! It couldn't be the same person; Professor Barton is well-respected and loved amongst his peers."

"Ah, it truly must be," I replied. "The professor I know is nothing like that."

"Anyhow, you asked me how I wish for you all to compensate for this mess you caused, right? It's simple, just come with me to meet the Professor. I'll tell him what happened and he can decide the correct punishment—I mean, course of action."

After following the man for a couple of minutes, he led us to a sizable building nestled on the crest of a hill.

"What is this place?" Darkness asked.

"Ah, this is the small research center Professor Barton has set up. He's looking to establish one in the capital, however, with the way things currently are, it might take a while."

I posed my reply. "Are you talking about the lockdown?"

"Umu, amongst other things. Anyway, here we are."

The man pushed open the door and we followed him in.

"Professor, I'm back."

Slumped over a table with books and pictures strewn about, was a man I was, unfortunately, familiar with.

"Ah, Roy-kun, have you—" The Professor stopped when he looked up.

"Professor, I found these peop—"

"Megumin-kun! And the Ladies Aqua and Dustiness, how are you?"

"Professor?! You know these people?"

"Ah, I do, Roy-kun."

"Um, hello, Professor," Iris said with a slight smile.

"Oh, if it isn't the Princess. Hello, Princess."

"Uh, why do I get the feeling you don't actually believe that?"

"Princess?" The man named Roy, said.

"Um, a-actually, I'm not."

"Ah, see, I knew it; you're not really the Princess, are you?" Professor Barton said with a berating look. "Honestly, even using the Princess' name to get my attention. I understand you want my autograph little girl, but you must set some limits for yourself, otherwise you'll grow up to be a bad woman."

Iris stepped back with a tormented expression.

I sighed. "Professor Barton, what's going on? What's this I hear about taming monsters?"

"Ah, Megumin-kun, you've heard? Have my exploits reached the Crimson Demon's village already?"

"Ah, about that, Professor," Roy interrupted.

"Hmm?"

"Well… Ahem, these girls are responsible for destroying the kobold and goblin camp we set up."

"...HUH?!" Professor Barton quickly looked at us, his face aghast. "M-Megumin-kun, is this true?"

I slowly looked away.

The mortified look on his face worsened until he let out a shallow gasp. Shortly after, he took off his glasses, and began cleaning them.

"Professor?" Roy said with a hint of worry.

Barton put on his glasses, and took a deep breath. "Ahem, I suppose it-it's fine, Roy-kun."

"F, Fine?! Professor!"

"Ah, worry not, Roy-kun, 'tis but a minor set back."

"Professor we spent weeks cultivating that camp and months with the planning; I can't imagine this being anything but disastrous for our progress."

"E-Excuse me," Iris said, interrupting. "I feel kind of bad for making a mess of your research; I asked before, but is there any way we can make this up to you?"

"Hmmm…" Professor Barton rubbed his chin. "Trying to make up for your mistakes, eh? I suppose there's hope for you to develop into a fine adult, Iris-kun."

"Wait," Roy interjected. "Iris? As in Princess Iris? Of Belzerg?"

We exchanged stares until Darkness tentatively said:

"U-Umm, she's uh...the—"

"Chirimen's daughter! My name is Alice!"

"Ah, I see. Your name does sound similar."

"Oh, now I get it," Professor Barton said, striking the base of a fist into his palm. "The Princess and Iris are mere aliases you use. Should I call you Alice-kun, then?"

Once again, we looked to ourselves.

"I-I suppose that's fine, Professor Barton," Iris replied.

"Umu, now that that's settled, let's move on to your claim of recompense, Alice-kun."

"Professor Barton," I interrupted.

"Oh? Yes, Megumin-kun?"

"I should probably tell you that whatever task you have for us shouldn't be anything combat-focused."

"Oh?"

"Umu. Since I've just finished using my magic, I'll be out of commission for some time."

"I see. Well, no matter. I actually had something else in mind."

"Really?"

"Umu." He pressed the bridge of his glasses upwards, and gave me a proud smirk. "Megumin-kun, have you heard of the 'Rainbow Neroid'?"

"Rainbow Neroid? Not really. Is it some type of new monster you've discovered?"

"Humph, unfortunately not. You see, the Rainbow Neroid is an elusive creature, almost mythical in nature. However, I'm a scientist, Megumin-kun; I don't believe in the dubiousness of mere hearsay, I believe in evidence. I believe the Rainbow Neroid exists."

"Ok? I mean, you've been right about your other predictions so far."

"Correct." He pushed his glasses up once more. "I want you to capture this creature."

I raised a brow. "Capture? How are we even supposed to find it? Didn't you say it was almost impossible?"

"Indeed. It's highly improbable."

"...Guys, we should probably start heading back. We're pretty far—"

"H-Hold on! Megumin-kun, I haven't told you yet, but Barbara and I are engaged. In fact, our marriage is set not too far in the future."

"Congratulations?"

"Umu, thank you. Ahem, the reason I want to find the Rainbow Neroid is because of what's said about it. Supposedly, the Rainbow Neroid is able to produce a fine effect. It's said that any drink it's included in will become otherworldly in quality. Furthermore, the potency of its extract is said to be an experience multiplier."

"Experience multiplier?"

"Yes. There aren't very many things like this in our world; in fact, being a Crimson Demon, you must know that even potions with this effect are nonexistent."

This wasn't entirely true. In the Red Prison's library, under the Section of Forbidden Knowledge there exists records of such potions. In the past they were said to be quite widespread and heavily used, but for some reason or another, that knowledge was now lost.

And as the daughter of the foremost potionmaker in the village, I remembered my father telling me of such a thing. Of course, the fact that my father and family were still broke beyond measure was a very real reminder of how little success he had in the field.

Nevertheless, if the Professor was correct, and this monster did, in fact, exist then…

"Excuse me, Professor Burden—"

"Barton."

"Barton. You said this neroid can make any drink better, right?"

"That's correct, Aqua-kun. My aim is to capture the Rainbow Neroid so I can produce a fine ambrosia for my dear Barbara."

"Ohhhhh."

"On top of that, since the Rainbow Neroid is near-mythical in nature, anything made with it would be exceptionally expensive."

"Megumin, let's accept his request," Aqua hurriedly urged me.

"Umu."

To be honest, there was no way I could turn down such an amazing opportunity. Not only did the quest involve going after an easy creature, all we had to do was capture it and reap the rewards.

"Ah, so you'll accept? Excellent."

"Professor Barton, will you be coming with us?" Iris asked.

"Certainly not," He replied with a scoff. "Really, how much of a kid are you? Would you like me to hold your hand too?"

Iris remained silent, but glancing over, I could see the devastation the Professor had wrought.

"Are you really not going?" I asked him.

"Ah, no, Megumin-kun. Now that I'm a famous and successful bookseller, there's no need for me to personally take to the field."

"...Didn't you say something about wanting to discover things in person?"

"I don't believe I've ever said such a thing, Megumin-kun. Anyhow, I'll send Roy-kun in my place. Not only is he an excellent fighter, he's also quite handy with other mundane tasks."

Roy looked slightly confused as to how to receive what was just said. "T, Thank you, Professor."

"Don't mention it, Roy-kun. Now before I forget, here." Professor Barton walked over to a cabinet, pulled out a magic photographer, and handed it to Roy. "When the ladies find the Rainbow Neroid don't forget to take a photograph."

"Of course, Professor."

"Also, here's some of the information I've written about it. This should help you get close to it."

"How accurate are these notes?" I asked.

Professor Barton gave me another proud smirk, and said, "As accurate as my other notes, Megumin-kun. Worry not, although I haven't seen the Rainbow Neroid personally, I'm sure I'm the world's leading expert on it. I have no doubt my notes will lead you to it."

"I see."

Where does this man get his confidence?

"Well now, I wish you all success and await your return."

"What will you do in the meantime?" I queried.

"Ah, well there are a ton of things I have to review; moreover, there are a few things pertaining to the wedding I must go over. The life of a successful bookseller and leading researcher isn't easy."

After this, we left the research center.

-Along the way…

"Hmmm…"

"Something wrong, Roy-san?" Iris asked.

The disgruntled look on his face deepened as he closed his eyes and raised a fist to the heavens. "I-I can't believe the Professor! You all are getting away scot free."

"Ah, enough about that," I said, breaking into the conversation. "Read what the notes say."

Roy scowled, and then looked down at the reams of papers in his hands. "The Professor's writings say there was a supposed sighting of the Rainbow Neroid near the hills on the western side of the capital."

"Didn't he say this thing was ultra rare? How are there sightings?"

"Humph." Roy shuffled through a couple sheets. "Hmmm, it seems the Professor was gathering intel from the locals."

"Isn't that just believing in hearsay?"

"What nonsense are you talking about? This is a common tactic when trying to locate something; you gather intel from whatever sources, and then find the common links in them. With something this mysterious it's only natural that those sources would be largely situated in rumours."

"Hmm, fair enough. Do those notes say anything about appearances?"

He frowned once more. "Are you really one of those Crimson Demons? I hear they're smart."

"Hey, you want me to show just how smart I am?! Just wait till I get my energy back!"

"Oh? Tough talk coming from a mage who exhausted herself; I've known novice mages with more reliability."

"You!"

"Roy-san," Iris interjected, "why don't you go ahead and describe it? Perhaps it might have something more distinct than the assumed rainbow coloring?"

He looked through the notes once again. "Hmmm, as expected, no; the rainbow coloring is its most defining feature."

"Does it have a pattern?" I questioned.

"...No...going off of what the Professor wrote, the Rainbow Neroid simply appears to be a normal neroid with a rainbow appearance, that's all."

Aqua pressed a finger to her chin in curiosity. "Is that all? I know a couple places near town where neroids like to gather. And I still have a few paint cans leftover from my art projects."

Roy interrupted her with knit brows. "You're not suggesting what I think you are?"

"Not this time, Aqua," I said. "Professor Barton might be a little screwed in the head, but he has his heart in the right place. If he thinks this thing is worth tons of money and experience, I believe it...mostly."

"H-Hey, you!"

I ignored the lackey's outburst and thought about the Rainbow Neroid. If its coat was colored so audaciously, how come more people haven't found it?

"In any case, we should try going to the spot the Professor said."

I wasn't holding out any hope of finding it right off the bat; that type of stuff never happened in the real world only in dramas and books. Nevertheless, we needed a starting point, and this was as good as any when hunting something so elusive.

-A few minutes later...

On our way to the hill, I kept noticing Roy-san glance in my direction. At first, I thought he was looking for another fight, but after observing him from the periphery of my sight, I saw that he wore a rather focused expression, like he was staring at something intensely. Could he, perhaps, have been staring at me with wanton eyes? I shivered at thought.

"Hey!" I said abruptly.

"Huh?"

"Is there something about me you find rather interesting? I've been seeing you look this way the entire time!"

"W-What are you talking about? Just what are you accusing me of?"

"Accuse? I know you've been staring at me; I've seen that lecherous gaze of yours!"

"Eh?! As if! I'll have you know I'm not into little girls."

"Little?! I'll have you know that I'm not a little girl! I'm actually married!" I announced, showing him my ring.

"Married?! You're married?! What type of person would even consider… I mean"—He gave me a quick glance—"what desirable features do you even have to offer?"

"You—put me down, Darkness; I've had it with this gofer!" Then it hit me. "Wait a minute…" I looked at Darkness, and then at the Professor's underling. "You… You were staring at Darkness, weren't you!"

"I-I was staring at no one!"

I chuckled menacingly. "Ah, I wonder what Professor Barton would say if I told him one of his flunkey's was committing acts of sexual harrassment!"

"I-I'm telling you, I wasn't staring!"

Darkness was—of course, taking this as lightly as she's always had, and from her back, I could feel the growing warmth of her body.

"I was merely wondering where Lady Dustiness' armor was at; she's a Crusader, isn't she?"

I raised a brow in doubt, but before I could carry on with my rebuke, Darkness spoke.

"I am a Crusader," She said proudly.

"Darkness doesn't need any armor," Aqua remarked. "She has really hard muscles."

"A-Aqua!"

"A, Ah, is...that so?" Roy said in a mix of apprehension and dismay.

"T-They're not hard, they're toned!" She yelled with tears dotting the corner of her eyes.

Part 4

"I believe this should be the spot," Roy said as he looked down at the notes.

I looked back towards the capital. "Umu, seems like it. This is the western side of the city."

"And these are hills," Iris added.

We all looked around, but obviously, there was no sign of the Rainbow Neroid.

"Is there anything else to go on besides the location?" I asked.

Roy scoured the notes once more. "Hm, the Professor does make some reference to the fulfillment of some conditions; it doesn't appear that he's as sure about these as he is about the location, though."

"Look," Darkness said, "there's someone over there."

"Should we ask them if they've seen the Rainbow Neroid?" Iris suggested.

"Hm, not a bad idea," I said with a nod.

Approaching the man, we could see that he appeared rather confused.

"Excuse me, sir," Iris said, getting his attention, "have you seen an odd neroid around here?"

"Ah, a-actually, I think I have."

"Really?!" I remarked.

"Ah, yes, I believe so. You see, I'm a traveling merchant," He said, pointing to the large pack on his back. "I was on my way to the capital from Elroad, but unfortunately it's on some sort of lockdown."

"Ahh, right," I said, looking away slightly.

The merchant continued. "Anyhow, I'm on my way to Alcanretia now. But you were saying something about a strange-looking neroid, right? I thought I may have been hallucinating or something, but I think I saw a multicolored one."

"You did?!" Roy said excitedly. "Where?!"

The merchant, startled by his excitement, pointed rather nervously. "Umm, by the forest over there."

"Forest?" Darkness said. "Neroids don't usually go into forests."

"Hm, I don't know," The merchant replied, "Maybe I was imagining it, then."

"Um, thank you," Iris said. "Have a safe trip, Mr. Merchant."

"Ah, thank you."

"Guys, let's go!" Aqua said excitedly.

We made our way towards the forest with Aqua happily humming along the way. It was a little strange to see her so happy, but then again, I understood why.

"Alright, everyone, stay close," Darkness said as we approached the edge of the forest.

"Oh, Rainbow-san, Rainbow-san," Aqua called out. "Come on out, Rainbow-san; we won't hurt you. I only want to make a nice drink out of you."

A few minutes passed as we waited, only the rustling of the leaves and the creaking of branches could be heard.

"Should we...go in?" Iris queried.

"Into the forest?" Roy replied. "Have you any idea what sort of monsters lurk in forests?"

"Then we should hurry!" Darkness said excitedly.

"Please remember I'm on your back," I said, shaking her lightly. "Anyhow, I think it should be fine. Aside from the fact that this is close to the capital, if a neroid wandered in it's probably a sign of how safe the forest is."

"Hmmm, good point," Roy remarked.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Aqua said, pushing further into the woods.

Several minutes went by, all the while we kept a sharp look out for any traces of the vaunted "Rainbow Neroid".

"Anything?" I said, as the others searched through bushes and trees.

"Not yet," Iris replied.

"Nothing," Darkness said, jumping down from a nearby tree.

"Hmm, nothing either," Roy said, coming back to the group.

"No—wahh!" Aqua fell back as she withdrew from a set of bushes.

"Nothing, I guess." I said with a sigh.

I was starting to think this whole thing was a wild goose chase when suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I caught the glimpse of something completely out of place. In the midst of all the browns and greens of the forest, I saw it, a kaleidoscope of colors, the Rainbow Neroid.

"There!" I yelled, pointing at it. "It's there!"

The others whipped towards the direction.

Their expressions validated my sanity, confirming that what I saw was, in fact, the very thing we came for.

"Mr. Neroid, come here," Aqua said, trying to coax it over.

It was several meters away, floating in place, watching us cautiously.

Aqua slowly walked towards it, gesturing it to come to her. "Come here… Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

Slowly, she closed the distance, until it was nearly within range of being touched.

"Gotcha!" She yelled, throwing her arms around it.

"She got it!" Roy said excitedly.

But as Aqua opened her arms, we noticed the neroid was already floating past her, going deeper into the woods at ridiculous speeds. Now I was starting to realize why the thing was so elusive.

"Wha—how?! I'm sure I got it!"

"Nevermind that, get after it!" Roy shouted.

As the others tore after the Rainbow Neroid, Darkness picked me up, and then went to join the chase.

"Darkness, are you holding up alright? This isn't too much, is it?"

"Hah, hah, not at all, Megumin. This is...good training," She said, through each breath.

"We're losing it!" Roy yelled from up ahead.

"Iris!"

"Yes?!"

"Use your attack to clear a route!"

"Are you sure?"

"Do it!"

"EXTERION!"

The spell cut a swathe through the forest, toppling the trees it came in contact with.

"Nice job!" I said in approval.

Iris smiled. "Thanks."

"What are you two talking about?!" Roy shouted. "Now we have a bunch of debris in the way!"

"S-Sorry!" Iris stuttered regretfully.

"Hmm, I got an idea. Aqua, buff Iris with a speed spell! Iris, go ahead and keep on its trail! Make some marks on the trees along the way!"

Doing as they were instructed, Aqua buffed Iris, and she dashed past us.

"Ohh, I'm impressed," Roy said. "So, you can be useful."

I frowned. "I'll be sure to give a personal display once I've regained my mana."

After some minutes, we eventually caught up and found Iris standing by a massive tree.

"Did you lose it?" Roy asked.

"It slipped into this tree hole," She replied.

He walked up to it, and took a look into the hole. "Incandescent Luminance." An orb of light appeared in his hand. He tossed it into the hole. "...erm...I see."

"You know magic?" I said with slight surprise.

"A bit; mostly utility spells," He said, stepping back from the opening. "This hole is deep."

"Deep?" Darkness remarked in perplexity.

"Umu."

"Which means there's some sort of cavern beneath this tree," I deduced.

"What do we do?" Iris queried.

"What do you mean, 'what do we do'?" Aqua said. "We need to get that neroid."

"Right, but how?" Darkness interposed. "That hole isn't very large."

"Actually," Iris interrupted, "there's another hole on the other side of the tree."

We moved around, and like she said, there was another hole; however, this one was at its base.

"And this one is slightly bigger," Roy said as he examined it. "You're absolutely sure it went in?"

Iris nodded. "I was catching up to it when I saw it go in."

"Hmm...seems like there's no way around it then." He used the light spell again, and did the same as before. "...Oh?"

"What is it?" I said.

"I was wrong…well, sort of; it looks like this hole actually descends, not drops off. We can probably crawl in."

"Seems dangerous," Darkness remarked.

"I know, Lalatina, doesn't feel like a proper adventure!" Iris said excitedly.

"Lalatina?" Roy repeated.

"S-Shut up! P-Please don't call me that!"

"Ah...right, sure. How about Lady Dustiness? The Professor called you that."

"It-It's fine, but I prefer to be called 'Darkness' when I'm adventuring."

"Oh, ok, Darkness it is."

"I'll go first!" Iris declared, about to go in.

"Hold on," I interrupted. My eyes narrowed on the Professor's errand boy. "Roy-san should go first."

"Huh? Why?" He retorted, frowning at me.

"First of all, you can create a source of light, and second, you'd really allow a bunch of girls to go crawling in front of you? You really are a good-for-nothing lecher, aren't you?"

"Ah—erm, good point. Fine, I'll lead. Question is, can you even follow in the shape you're in?"

"I can crawl just fine; enough of my mana has returned that it should pose no problems."

Roy ducked down, and peered into the hole once more. Casting the spell yet again, he crawled into the space. One after another we crawled in: Darkness, Iris, myself, and Aqua.

The tunnel seemed endless and there were moments where we almost got stuck, but we persevered, and made it to the other side.

By the time I came out, I saw the others who were in front of me, standing in silence.

"Hey, what's wrong…" Then I saw what they saw.

Before us a large cavern full of neroids; there were tens—no, dozens, maybe more. While this sight by itself would be enough to cause shock, the true surprise laid with the numerous other rainbow neroids.

"There...isn't just one," I mumbled.

"Hey, Megumin, can you help me? I think I'm stuck," Aqua said from behind. "Nnnghh—whaa!" She popped out and fell into the cavern. "WHHHHHAAA⸻⸻!"

Aqua's pink scarf-like accessory deployed, slowing her descent and softly placed her in the middle of the cloud of neroids.

Though we expected them to fall into a panic, the neroids simply stared at her.

"Umm, hi?" She said hesitantly.

Then they panicked.

"WHHHAAA! Help me, you guys!" Aqua cried, balling up.

The neroids floated around in a frantic craze, crashing into each other and flying in opposite directions. All the while Aqua shivered in fear at the chaos going on around her.

"Come on, we have to save her!" I said.

"But how are we supposed to get down?" Iris remarked.

"There!" Roy exclaimed.

Where he pointed was a slope descending into the cavern; it was rather steep, but it was the best option we had at the moment.

"Lead the way," I said, pushing him.

"Whoa, waaaiiiit!"

With the abrupt push, Roy-san tumbled down the slope, loose dirt rolling down with him.

"Come on," I said, grabbing Iris and Darkness' hands.

We jumped down, and slid down the path at nerve-fraying speeds.

"Ahhhhh!" We yelled on our way down, until finally, we crashed into Roy-san lying at the bottom.

"OOF!"

"S-Sorry, Roy-san," Iris said as she got up.

"Nevermind him, get Aqua," I interjected.

Darkness ran into the storm first with Iris and I following. By the time we made it to her side, the cavern was all but empty.

"Aqua, are you fine?" Darkness asked as we came to her.

"T-The Rainbow Neroids!"

"Yeah, there's more than one," I replied.

"We have to get them!" She urged.

"Of course. Did you see where they went?"

"There," Aqua said.

"Another hole?" Darkness remarked.

"Looks like it goes deeper," I said, peering into it.

"Should we go?" Iris queried.

"Ugh, look at what you've guys done!" Roy said, approaching us. In his hands were the crushed remains of a once luxurious magic camera. "Do you have any idea how expensive something like this is?!"

I scoffed. "Relax, will you? If we get a Rainbow Neroid then you won't have to worry about replacing it."

"That's not the point; how am I supposed to take a picture of one now?!"

"Just capture one and when you get paid, buy another camera and take a picture."

Roy grumbled angrily, and then let out a loud sigh. "I guess I don't really have a choice at this point."

"Anyway, look. There's another hole that leads deeper into the cavern. Aqua said she saw the Rainbow Neroids go down into it."

"Hmmm...there seem to be lights down there," Roy said as he took a peek.

"In any case, let's hurry; they might scurry off somewhere else if we wait."

"Right."

Once again, Roy jumped into the hole first, and soon enough, we all followed. Coming to a halt at the bottom, we got up.

Roy quickly sidled up to the edge of a large moldy root in front of us. As we walked up to him, he quickly gestured to us to stay silent and get down; we did so. He pointed around the corner.

"There they are," I whispered.

"Is that all of them?" Aqua asked.

"Looks like it."

"I got them." Aqua sped out, hurtling towards them. "I got you this time!"

The Rainbow Neroids let out their cute iconic cries of surprise. They tried to get away, but with nowhere to run, they darted about the chamber.

"Let's help her," Iris suggested.

We agreed, ran out, and tried to capture one.

"Get over here!" Aqua yelled, running after one.

"Ha, got you!" Roy said as he jumped in front of one fleeing.

It passed completely through him unimpeded.

"What?" I said incredulously.

The Rainbow Neroids were capable of phasing through objects?! No, people; it could phase through people. What an incredible creature. As I was about to announce this discovery, I noticed the same thing happened to Iris and Darkness, but even more surprising was the fact they came to a stand still right after.

"Hey, what are you guys doing? Why are you all just standing there?"

Suddenly, they all began skipping around and laughing.

What was going on? Wait… Could… No, it had to be; this was something else caused by the neroids. It wasn't their speed that made them such elusive creatures, it was this. Even if someone managed to get their hands on one, the Rainbow Neroids could simply phase through them. Not only that, but doing so would cause the person to be afflicted with a sort of euphoria.

"Aqua, be careful, they're—wait a minute..."

I remembered. I remembered that one had phased through Aqua during our initial encounter. Could Aqua be…?!

"WHAAAA! WHHAAAA! Megumin, they keep going through me!" Aqua sobbed.

"Aqua, I got it! You can't capture them on your own! You need some sort of container; anything will do!"

I turned to see one of the neroids barreling towards me.

"Ok, let's see if I'm right; I hope this works."

Moments before it would've hit me, I threw my cape over it and trapped it inside. Try as it might, it remained; my hypothesis was correct.

"You need some object between you and it!" I said once more.

Then, without warning, Iris, Roy-san, and Darkness descended upon me with hugs.

"Wait! Ugh, what are you guys doing? Stop, the neroid's gonna get away!"

And like exclaimed, the neroid popped free and got away.

Damn it! I couldn't do anything with the others like this. "Aqua!"

"UWAHH! WHYYYY?! Stop running, already!" She bawled, still chasing after one.

"Aqua!" I yelled again. "Get—Get these guys off! Use your spell break!"

"Megumin?! Guys?! What are you all doing?! Am I really the only one trying to capture one of these?!"

"They're…" I struggled to get a word out under the mounting pressure of tight hugs. "They're under some...spell! AQUA! HELP!"

"Ah, Megumin, I have you! SACRED SPELL BREAK!"

"Huh? What's going on?" Darkness said, noticing the tight embrace she was in.

"Get off," I said, pushing them away.

"What happened?" Roy said, scratching his head.

"The neroids, the Rainbow Neroids have a special ability to phase through people; the people they phase through are then overcome by some sort of euphoria. Aqua is the only one who seems immune to it."

"Did you get hit too, Megumin-nee?"

"No. I didn't try. You can't capture them with your hands, but they can be caught with any object, it seems."

Suddenly, we noticed the Rainbow Neroids clustered together.

"What are they doing?" Iris asked.

The Rainbow Neroids were huddled around themselves, trying desperately to get into a smaller hole.

"Are they stuck?" Darkness posed.

"Neroids can't get stuck, can they?" Roy remarked.

I too thought that was strange. Neroids don't really have a body to speak of; you could find them tucked into the smallest crevices or hidden away underneath a rock, so to have even a group of them unable to get through a hole…

"I don't think they're stuck," I replied.

"Then what's going on?"

Suddenly, as if responding to Roy-san's question, the cavern began to rumble.

The Rainbow Neroids quickly back away from the hole and began crying out. From the tiny opening, a cloud like object appeared; it looked like another neroid was trying to push through.

"Is another one coming out?" Darkness said as we stared in wait.

Indeed, another neroid was coming. It's puffy body filtered through, growing slowly.

"What...is that?" Roy said.

It was, without a doubt, what we were all thinking. The neroid that was coming through was massive and it kept growing; already its form took up the majority of the chamber we were in. Finally, it stopped. The neroid that appeared was an enormous cloud-like entity, pristinely white with a cloudy mass in the shape of a small crown adorned on top.

"Neroid's have a king?!" I thought to myself.

However, the Rainbow Neroids before it seemed to tremble in fear at its presence. They mewed at it with nervous undertones.

The massive neroid grew red and began to pulse between the two colors.

"MEWWWWW⸻⸻⸻!" It bellowed loudly and engulfed one of the Rainbow Neroids.

Within its wispy body, we saw the Rainbow Neroid slowly break apart and dissolve into nothing. The others floated together, but were too wracked with fear to do anything.

It was then that I knew; this was no king, it was a tyrant, a Neroid Tyrant.

"Guys, we gotta do something," Aqua said. "That big one is gonna eat the others. If we don't do something, we won't have a bounty to take home."

But what could we do? With my mana low, I couldn't cast Explosion; even if I could, it would probably be a bad idea given we were underground.

Darkness rushed forward. "You! Giant monster! Cease praying on the small and helpless! If you—"

The Neroid Tyrant wasted no time in absorbing her.

"D-Darkness!" I yelled. "We need to get her out," I pleaded to the others.

Despite Darkness' happy cries from within the monster, the situation looked bleak. Her defense might've allowed her to prevent instant dissolution, but her clothing and gear wasn't faring so well.

"Her clothes are dissolving!" Iris said in a panic.

I quickly looked at Roy-san. "What are you staring at, lech?!"

"I-I'm not staring!"

"Megumin-nee, what do we do?!"

I gulped deeply. "If only Kazuma was here, he would—no! Why am I thinking of that idiot? He doesn't deserve—"

"Boss!" Iris shouted, shaking me.

"Uh, um—"

"I have an idea!" Roy said. "It seems to use a similar method of dissolving to slimes. Perhaps we can exploit a similar weakness slimes have."

"Which is?"

"Neutralizing the acidic enzymes within its body. I'm not sure what this thing is made of, but if it's able to dissolve fabrics and leather that quickly then perhaps it's the same."

"So, what are you suggesting?!"

"Guys!" Aqua yelled. "It's eating more of the neroids! My money, my wine! Stop it!"

"Water! If we can have it absorb tons of water, the enzymes will lose their acidity. Only problem is...where can we get so much water."

I looked at Aqua. "Aqua, water! Hit it with as much water as you can!"

"Huh? Water? Are you sure?"

"Yes! Do it!"

"Ok. Here I go! SACRED CREATE...WATER!"

The cave began to tremble, and then from every possible opening, a deluge of water poured into the cavern; within seconds, the chamber was submerged.

The Neroid Tyrant tried to escape, but with its enormous body, it proved impossible. Ironically, the water quickly began to dissolve it in its entirety. Unfortunately, the Rainbow Neroids too were unable to escape this fate, and were lost.

"*Cough* *Cough* What the hell was that?!" Roy said as we crawled out of the hole. "Where did so much water come from?!"

"Ughhh...gah." I dragged myself out. "Tired…"

Darkness, who was covered with both mine and Iris' garments, sighed disappointedly.

"Is everyone ok?" Iris asked.

"For the most part," I said, still laying on the ground.

"Good."

"No, not good," Roy retorted. "Not only did we fail to capture any of the Rainbow Neroids, we didn't even manage to snap a photograph. *Sigh* How am I supposed to relay such disappointing news to the Professor?"

"I wouldn't say it was a complete failure," Aqua remarked.

From her pink sash, a single Rainbow Neroid could be seen shivering.

"You… But how?"

"Doesn't matter," I interjected. "We have one."

"Oh no you don't," Aqua said. "This one is mine. I caught it so it's only fair that I get to keep it."

"Hey, is she being serious?"

"I'm afraid so," I replied.

"Did you all forget why we even came here in the first place?! It wasn't so you guys could make a quick buck! This was a form of reparation for all the troubles you've caused us!"

I slowly averted my gaze.

"Now, give it here!"

"No!" Aqua yelled, balling up.

As Roy-san tried to coax it from her, the Rainbow Neroid sped out and phased through him.

"NYYYUUUUU!" It floated off, Aqua dashing after it.

Part 5

"So, Roy-kun has been like this the entire time?"

"Mhm," I replied, lowering my hat a little. "Guess the excitement of seeing a new creature was too much for him."

"Oh, I see. Well, I can understand such feelings. I just hope he returns to normal at some point."

"Sorry about your camera, Professor," Iris said.

"Well, Alice-kun, you've already said you'll reimburse me for it, so I suppose it's fine. That being said, while offering to fix your mistakes is good, not making them in the first place is better. Please remember this and you'll be a fine grown up one day."

Iris furrowed her brow in reply.

"Anyhow," Professor Barton continued, "it's a shame you didn't get the Rainbow Neroid, but I suppose that's the way of discovery; sometimes you get lucky, other times you don't. Thank you for your assistance in anycase, Megumin-kun. I hope you'll help me again in the future."

"Umu. I'll keep an ear out. Good luck with your research and your wedding."

"Ah, thank you."

We left the research building and regrouped with Darkness and Aqua.

"How'd it go?" Darkness asked.

"As good as it could've," I replied. "Now, let's head back; I'm tired, and I wouldn't mind another bath."

All of us were covered head to toe in varying levels of dirt and grime.

-On the way back…

"Hey, hold on, guys," I said, coming to a stop.

"What's wrong, Megumin?" Darkness asked.

"We...can't exactly enter the capital like this, much less the palace."

"Actually, I haven't even given it any thought, but how are we supposed to enter the capital at all; are we using the same way we left?"

"No, but that's not really the point I'm making."

"So, what are you saying, Megumin?" Aqua queried.

"How are we supposed to sneak Iris back in?"

Darkness and Aqua stared at each other, and then at Iris.

"Good point," Darkness replied. "If we enter like this, it'll be obvious that she's been out. So, you're saying we should clean up out here."

I nodded. "There should be a lake nearby; we can use it to wash up."

"Wait," Aqua interrupted. "Wouldn't there be monsters there?"

I smirked. "Unlikely; I used to use it for my Explosion training."

Eventually, we arrived at the aforementioned lake. After probing it for any hidden monsters, we concluded it was safe. Aqua and Iris went in first.

As they were washing themselves, I sat down on the bank and looked at the sky; it was a long day, and now, evening was beginning to set in.

"We should hurry," Darkness said as she walked up beside me.

"Umu, it's starting to get late."

"Megumin-nee, Lalatina, aren't you coming in? The water is good," Iris remarked.

"In a minute," I replied. I let out a sigh, and fell back.

"Tired?" Darkness asked with a slight smile.

"Exhausted. It's a shame we didn't get anything from that quest. Sure would've been nice to have an experience multiplier." I closed my eyes.

"I suppose, but it was fun nonetheless, right?"

I grinned. "Umu. Adventures like these...this is what I live for."

Suddenly, Darkness grabbed my arm and pulled me up. "Come on," She said, pulling me towards the water.

"Whoa, hold on—o-ok. Just wait!"

SPLASH!

-Several minutes later…

"The stars are really pretty," Iris said.

"Yeah," I remarked, staring at them.

Laying down like this, it felt familiar, it felt calming yet exciting. My heart thumped strongly. I closed my eyes and remembered.

Did that idiot whom I love so much even have thoughts like this? When he looked upon a starry sky like tonight's, did he think back to the times we've done together? I was angry at him, but I also felt some resentment towards myself. If only we could stop bickering, then we could share in more moments like these.

"The clothes should be dry in just a minute," Aqua announced.

I opened my eyes, and sat up. "Good. It's getting a bit cold."

Yes, we were sitting naked on the bank waiting for our clothes to dry. I used to wonder how Aqua would dry the clothes so quickly, but since finding out she was the deity of water, it made more sense. Also because of this, she was the only one wearing dry clothes. Darkness, on the other hand, had nothing to really speak of except for mine and Iris' cape.

It would be a truly embarrassing situation if someone were to find us like this.

"Over here."

The hairs on my neck stood up. That was a voice.

"Did you hear that?" Iris said, sitting up in alertness.

Darkness sat up as well. "Someone's out here this late?"

We quickly retreated to a small nearby outcrop.

"There," Aqua said.

Looking out to the opposite side, I could barely make out the figures of two people.

"What is it, Aqua?" I asked her. "Who's here?"

"Hmmm… It looks like a guard and some girl."

Oh? Was this actually a late night meeting between lovers?

"Elaine, we're almost there, my love."

"Fropp, my dear, I can't wait."

"Wait, they're coming this way," I said with growing nervousness. "The clothes, they'll see the clothes."

But at that point, there was nothing we could do; if we came out, we'd be exposed.

"Here we are, my love. Can you see it, the many stars and the moon shining brightly overhead?"

"I can; they're lovely. Hey, Fropp dear, what's that?"

"Hm?" The guard, Fropp, looked. "Are those...clothes?"

They approached them.

The girl, looking upon our clothing, said, "These are…women's clothing."

"Underwear," The guard said, my panties dangling between his fingers.

The girl slapped his hand.

"Uh, sorry." He looked around. "Is there anyone here?"

Of course, we didn't answer.

"How odd," He went on.

"Fropp, you don't think…"

"What?"

"Maybe...something might've happened to them?"

"...No. Nonsense, Elaine. I'm sure they probably forgot their…" Perhaps noticing how stupid that explanation was, he stopped. "In-In anycase, I don't think anything bad happened to the owners."

"But it is late. P-Perhaps we should head back, dear. Maybe whatever grabbed them might still be around."

"I told you there's nothing like that around here."

"But you don't know for sure! Maybe it was some monster. No woman would just leave her clothes! I mean, if they did, that'd mean they're running around naked!"

"N-Naked?"

This time the girl slapped him on the head. "Just what are you imagining, huh?!"

"Ah, nothing, my love. Maybe you're right; let's head back. I'll tell the others to put out a search tomorrow."

A few minutes after the two left, we stepped out.

"H, How embarrassing," I said, grabbing my underwear off the ground. "Well, at least they're dry."

Iris quickly gathered her clothes, and then quietly put them on; I'm sure she was feeling embarrassed as well.

"M, Megumin-nee…"

"Hm?"

"What… What do you think those two came out to do?"

"...I-I'm sure it was the same thing we were doing."

"To look at the stars?"

I nodded. "T-That's right, Iris; they just came to watch the stars."

As we headed back, my lightly damp clothing felt a lot warmer.

-Back at the capital

"How many of these 'secret passages' do you actually have, Megumin?" Darkness said sort of angrily.

"Don't worry about it. Look, we've made it."

Just ahead was the entrance to the palace.

"Excuse me," I said as we approached the gate sentry.

"Yes? Ah, it's you. Hmm, out quite late, aren't we?"

"Ah heh heh, well, we just wanted to take a stroll around the capital."

"Hmm, you know there's a curfew in effect, right?"

"Ah, sorry. I wasn't paying too much attention to the time."

"*Sigh* Well, since you've returned before midnight I suppose it's fine." The guard took a glance at us, and then stopped when he looked at Darkness. "Who's this?" He said, squinting.

"This is Darkness," Aqua replied.

"Darkness?"

"Ah, that's right, I think you guys call her Lady Dustiness. See?" She pulled down the hood Darkness had on.

"L-Lady Dustiness? Why are you wearing such a strange outfit?"

"Ah, well…" Darkness began squirming nervously. "Y-You see, I'm—"

"She's a bit cold tonight," I interrupted.

"Cold? Well...it is getting a bit chilly these nights. Alright, off you all go."

As we were about to do just that…

"Wait, hold on! Who's that?" He said, pointing to Iris. "Is that the Princess?!"

"N-No," I said, stepping in front of her. "It's our friend—and her's. Her name is Alice and she's the daughter of a famous… Textile...merchant?"

The gate sentry looked at me with a set of skeptical eyes. "Hmm...I see. Ok. Well, no one suspicious is allowed into the palace. Unless someone can vouch for the little lady I'm afraid she can't enter."

"I-I'll vouch for her!" Darkness said.

"Lady Dustiness...are you sure?"

She nodded. "I trust her completely; she would never do harm to the Princess."

"Well… If you're giving your assurance then I guess it's fine. Have a good night, ladies."

And with that, we made it past our last major hurdle.

"Iris, are you ok getting back to your room?" I asked, once we were far enough away.

She gave a sure nod, and smiled. "Don't worry, I learned from the best; I'll be able to get back just fine. What will you all do?"

"Hmm, good question."

"I'll head back to the estate and get a fresh pair of clothes," Darkness replied. "You guys can join Iris once she's settled in."

"Alright, sounds good," I said in agreement. "See you back here in a few."

-Next morning

"Haaaaaah, that was good," Aqua said, sitting back and patting her stomach.

"I'll take Kazuma's."

"Odd that he hasn't shown up," Darkness remarked. "Hime-sama, you said you allowed him to leave his room, right?"

Iris nodded. "Honestly, Lalatina, I said it before, but I don't like it when you guys treat Onii-sama bad."

Aqua interjected. "That boy brings it upon himself, Iris-chan. Anyway, don't pamper him too much; the last thing we need is him becoming a full-time lolicon again. His act's bad enough with Megumin, already."

I sighed, and then picked up a platter. "I'll be back."

-At the door to Kazuma's room

"Hmm, the guards are gone...and so are the spears. Kazuma," I said, knocking on the door. "...Kazuma? Are you there?"

I opened the door. The room was dark. Only the light from the entrance was present, and even then, as if it feared the dark, stayed mostly by the door.

"Kazuma?" I said again, walking in.

Still nothing. Perhaps he went out; after all, he was stuck in this room for an entire day, it wouldn't be strange. I let out another tired sigh, and placed the platter on the nearby drawer.

Creeeeaaak… SLAM!

Before I could scream, a hand was firmly against my lips, another, tightly wrapped around my stomach.

"Ho? It's just you, Megumin? How bold. I was sure the other two would've showed up as well."

I tried to answer, but of course, my reply came out a muffled mess.

"It looks like my earlier punishment wasn't enough. Maybe this time I should drain you till you can't even think straight!"

"Mmmmfff!" I struggled against his grip.

"Oh don't think I'm gonna let you off easy, you spoiled brat! Imma leave you here all alone like you did to me! Don't even think about getting a chance to go do fun things. Yeah, that's right, no Explosions, no girl time with those other two idiots, and I'm gonna take the time you took away from me, and spend it with Iris!"

Suddenly, Megumin stopped struggling.

"Finally giving up, eh?" I slowly lifted my hand from her mouth, ready to reseal it in case she screamed.

But instead she said, "Sorry" in a low and crestfallen tone.

"Sorry? She's apologizing? What?"

Megumin pulled away with apprehensive timidness, and then stood at the door.

"I said, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stopped you... Go...spend time with Iris."

"Megu…" But before I could say anything else, she was gone.

"Dummy. Idiot. Stupid. Insensitive pervert, unfaithful...jerk…"

I sat in the courtyard feeling my emotions well up. Why? Why didn't he understand? Did I mean so little to him? I looked down at the sign of our commitment to each other. Were those vows just for show? Were they mere words to him? Did this even mean anything?

I slowly removed the ring, and twirled it in my fingers.

"Megumin." It was him.

I clasped my fingers together, hiding the ring within my hand. "What is it? Why are you here? Shouldn't you be spending your time doing something worthwhile?"

"Oi, come on…" He sat behind me and laid his back against mine. "Are you really that mad at me? Look, let's go do your daily explosion, hm."

I smiled wryly. "You think just because you use the word 'explosion' I'll be so agreeable?"

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

"Do I?"

"...What's with you all of a sudden?" He said, turning around. "I know you can get pretty jealous when it comes to Iris, but—"

"I seem to be a burden to you… This whole…'thing' just seems like a huge inconvenience to you, Kazuma."

"What 'thing'? What are you talking about?"

I stood up, and gently placed the ring in his hand. "Here's one less burden you need to worry about, Satou Kazuma. ...Don't bother looking for me," I said faintly.

I turned away and walked off. I wanted to be angry, furious at him, but all I felt now was a profound sadness. Truly, I wanted to take it all back, everything I said. It was the truth...as I saw it, but…

By now, I had cleared the palace gates; as soon as I did, I pulled on the rim of my hat and felt the tightness in my chest, an unquenchable feeling of suffocation, the warm tears brimming along the ridge of my eyes.

I broke into a sprint.

The feelings grew; they grew until they physically hurt. Hah, hah, hah… Breathing was becoming difficult, but I kept running as fast I could. My head hurt, my lungs were burning, my chest was on fire. Finally, I stumbled, and fell hard on the cobbled stone ground.

It should've hurt...but I didn't feel it. For what felt like several minutes, I laid, trying to catch my breath. Several minutes more… I finally sat up. I was calming down. When I recomposed myself as best I could, I got up...and a sharp pain shot through my leg; so much so, that I stumbled yet again.

The wrappings around my knee were dyed crimson. The tights on my other leg were slightly torn. What a mess… What a mess this all was.

-Back at the palace

I stared at the ring resting on my palm. I was frozen with disbelief, completely confused at what just happened; the implications of it all still haven't set in.

"There he is," I suddenly heard Aqua say.

I quickly pocketed the ring.

"Hey, did you do something to Megumin?"

"Huh? Wha-What are you talking about?" I said reflexively.

"Kazuma," Darkness said, looking at me curiously, "are you alright? You look a little pale."

"I'm-I'm fine," I retorted.

This time, Iris stared at me inquisitively. "Are you sure, Onii-sama?"

I averted her gaze. "I said I'm fine. O-Obviously I'm just a bit upset that you guys locked me away."

Aqua tilted her head. "For some reason I feel like you just had a huge shock. Almost like that time you found out those women at the guild were making fun of you."

"Oi, I really wish you didn't bring up such an embarrassing event. A-Anyway… I'm ok."

Iris continued to stare at me with a hint of doubt, but ultimately, she sighed, and then smiled. "If Onii-sama says 'he's ok', I suppose I have little choice but to believe him. But I really wish if Onii-sama isn't feeling well, he would confide in us."

"..." Once again, I looked away.

"Kazuma." Darkness broke the lull in the conversation. "Have you seen Megumin? She went to bring you food earlier."

"...She… I… S-She came...and...gave me my food...and then she left."

"Left? She said she was coming back. Why would she just leave without telling us anything? Did she happen to tell you where she was going?"

"No, she…" I took a deep breath. "Megumin, just ran off. She brought me my food and I guess I scared her off when I tried to get back at her."

Aqua knit her brows. "Megumin doesn't seem like the type to run away. I'm pretty sure you did something really dumb and got her mad at you."

Why was this useless goddess so perceptive at the least opportune times? It was a question I found myself asking time and time again.

"Is there any reason you guys need her so bad?" I said, changing the subject.

They looked at each other questioningly.

"Not really," Darkness replied, "but it is a little odd for Megumin to disappear without a word."

I waved her off. "What are you talking about? She always does that. Half the time I always found her because of the…" I trailed off, feeling a sudden sense of guilt.

"Because of the…?"

"S-Sorry. Um, I… I-I think Megumin's just tired of being cooped up in the palace like all of us."

"Hmm, I don't think so," Aqua said, finger pressed to her chin. "We all went on a pretty exciting adventure yesterday."

"Huh?!"

Iris and Darkness chuckled nervously.

"Hm, whatever; hopefully, you guys didn't cause any problems," I said, folding my arms in slight doubt.

"Whatever," Aqua replied pompously. "You should help us find Megumin; I know you're not doing anything right now."

"I'm doing absolutely nothing right now, that's something, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"See? This is why no one likes you."

"W-What are you talking about?! I have plenty of people who like me."

"Ohhhh? Like who?"

"T-Too many to go into detail, right now."

Iris giggled. "Well, if Onii-sama isn't too busy could he help us out? I was planning on playing together with everybody, but if Megumin-nee isn't present, it would feel a little lonely, wouldn't it?"

"..." I sighed deeply, scratching my head in deliberation thereafter. "Fine. I guess I could help."

"HUH?!" Aqua shrieked. "How come you accept when Iris-chan asks and not when a goddess like myself requests it?"

"'Cause unlike Iris, you're not cute."

Aqua opened her mouth in shock, and then pounced on me. "You devil hikkiNEET, I'll curse you! I'll exorcise you! Take that back! TAKE IT BAAAAACCCKK!"

-Meanwhile…

I laid on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

"He won't find me here, no one will."

I hid away at our thieving group's hideout. Luckily, when I arrived, no one was in...not that I really had to worry about.

My eyes hurt. And now that I was actually resting, pains all over my body began to crop up.

"Will he find me?" "Is he even searching?" "Does he even care?" These thoughts assailed me continuously.

I curled up from the discomfort, the multi pronged assault from, both, physical and mental injuries. I closed my eyes and felt them begin to well over with tears once more. Instinctively, I called out his name...and this made me cry even more.

I touched my ring finger, seeking comfort, and remembered. Another injury, more tears, more pain.

Even though he was the reason for my feeling this way, I couldn't help but call out to him; in my mind, his name became synonymous with safety...not literally, but...like a sanctuary. The irony of it all wasn't lost on me, but I couldn't stop myself...not that I truly wanted to.

As I curled up even further, my hands inadvertently pressed themselves against my chest. I felt the sensation of something small and circular. Perhaps in my desperation to seek a distraction from the merciless torment, I dug into my robe and withdrew the object.

I stared at it for a few seconds before I felt myself choke from the crushing sorrow.

"Kazummmaaa," I sobbed.

It was the ring he made me.

-Later that evening…

"She's not in the usual places," Darkness said as we all regrouped.

"She couldn't have gone far, right?" Iris remarked.

"...Let's call it here," I announced.

"Kazuma, aren't you worried?"

"This isn't the first time she's disappeared, alright?" I swallowed deeply. I was nervous, truth be told. "We can look tomorrow if she doesn't come back."

The three of them looked at me worriedly.

"Anyway, let's head back," I insisted.

Reluctantly, they agreed.

Once we made it back, Darkness and Aqua went to bathe; we worked up a sweat searching high and low for Megumin. They had invited Iris as well, but when they did, she merely replied with, "I'll go later".

As for me, I was currently waiting for those two to be done. Eventually, they were.

"Took you long enough," I said as they came out.

"Whatever," Aqua said, tossing back her hair pridefully, "you take even longer. Tell me what kind of guy takes a longer bath than a woman."

"Oi, shut up! I like to be clean."

"Humph."

When they left, I prepped myself to get into the bath. As I did, I heard the door open.

"Oi, did you forget something?" Standing at the door was the Princess of Belzerg. "I-Iris?!"

"O, Onii-sama would… Would you like to… Would you like to take a bath...together?"