Monday night Teddy let herself into Annie's house. It still felt a bit odd to her that she no longer owned the cottage, but Annie and Josh had officially bought it six weeks before after negotiating housing allowances in their fellowship offers. It had been one of those steps of Annie growing up Teddy wasn't totally prepared for. But she understood that Annie and Josh buying their home was one of those life milestones along with getting married or having a baby. Teddy wondered what Annie wanted to talk to her about.

"Annie," Teddy called letting herself in.

"Just getting Ellie down," Annie said, "she's had her bath. We need a story and a snack."

"Where is she sleeping," Teddy asked.

"Still with us at night," Annie said, "we've had a few naps in the crib this week."

"Getting her ready for you to go back to work," Teddy asked.

"Slowly," Annie said, "I can put her down for a nap in the crib but she's still needing a 2 or 3 AM feed so I want her close to me until she's fully sleeping through the night."

"Allison was about 6 months before she was in her own room at night and I still got up with her at night," Teddy said.

"I just don't want her to feel abandoned," Annie said, "that no one loves her that she's all alone."

"Is this why you wanted to talk," Teddy asked.

"Sort of," Annie said, "seeing Ellie there's a few things I want to talk to you about."

"What do you need me to help with," Teddy asked.

"Can you make tea," Annie asked.

"Tea not wine," Teddy asked.

"Back to work tomorrow and Ellie still likes her 10:30 snack," Annie said.

"You need to spread her feeds out," Teddy encouraged.

"I'm sticking with on demand," Annie said, "she's not fighting the bottle as long as it's someone other than me holding it. Ellie is spreading feedings out, it's more in the evening now. I don't mind mama I really don't."

"You're overcompensating for something. Trying to have everything perfect for Ellie, doing it all perfectly no matter how exhausted you are," Teddy said, "what are you hiding?"

"Don't you do the same," Annie asked, "over mother the three of us."

"I have a lot to make up for," Teddy said, "I know I hover with you more than the other two. I have to Annie."

"Let me get her down then we can talk," Annie said.

"How can I help with bedtime," Teddy asked, "can I read her story?"

"Do you want to read to her," Annie asked.

"I'd like to cuddle her before she goes down for the night," Teddy said, "but I know you like to be the one to do it all."

"This time," Annie agreed, "I have a hard time letting go of things with her. It's hard and she's not my tiny newborn now."

"She's grown," Teddy smiled.

"She has and I get real smiles now," Annie said, "she's almost doubled her weight."

"She's at 12 pounds," Teddy asked.

"She was 11 on Friday," Annie said, "she's still small for her age."

"So are you," Teddy replied.

"Do you want to read her story then I'll feed her," Annie said.

"I could give her a bottle," Teddy suggested.

"No bottle tonight," Annie said, "I have enough for daycare tomorrow in the fridge and I'm trying to save some of the freezer stash for when Meg and Nathan get their little one."

"What are you doing," Teddy asked, she looked confused.

"I'm aiming for 1-2 bottles a day for Meghan and Nathan's daughter," Annie said, "we're going to try giving them milk for their baby."

"Why," Teddy asked.

"Because it's healthy for the new baby, it's not enough to fully feed her but it will help," Annie said, "I have enough in the freezer to get them started. Josh and I talked with Meg and Nathan about it. It was between the four of us. You and Uncle Owen didn't need to be involved."

"Are you okay watching them adopt a baby girl," Teddy asked.

Annie settled into her rocking chair with Ellie, "it brings back a lot of feelings and memories. I'm dealing with it. I've realised that my challenges are not because of my adoption which I know I've liked to blame and have thrown in your face before. I think Leslie is a narcissist. I think that's why she gave up once you were around and we started setting boundaries and I stopped letting her plan and control my life."

"It's a thought I've toyed with," Teddy said.

"But neither of us know enough about psych," Annie said, "but I did some reading about narcissistic parents today and she fits most of the criteria."

"Get Ellie to bed and we'll talk," Teddy said.

"I just have to make sure I'm never that person for her," Annie said, "that she's allowed to be herself."

"You made choices for yourself," Teddy said.

"And I was punished for it. If I didn't win, if I wasn't top of the class, lead roles, top university in the province," Annie said, "me getting into Harvard that just fed her ego."

"What did you choose for your self," Teddy asked.

"Peds," Annie said, "and I was scared that you would lose it. When we chose to have Ellie."

"When have I ever lost it for you making a choice," Teddy asked.

"I don't think you've ever truly lost it with me," Annie said, "not the way Leslie did."

"I've been annoyed with you," Teddy said, "doing an LVAD revision at 38 weeks."

"But you tell me why you're annoyed," Annie said, "you let me know why."

"Always," Teddy said, "if we don't talk about it how can we fix it?"

"Scream and yell at me," Annie said, "tell me I'm worthless."

"The day Allison reacted to the sesame seeds you expected us to be mad," Teddy said, "why?"

"Because of the day when we were home alone, I was incharge and Jessica jumped off the swing in the back yard and broke her arm," Annie said, "I wasn't watching closely enough. I wasn't in the right part of the yard to catch her before she landed. I dropped the ball because I was throwing the football with Chris while Jessica was on the swing I should have been watching her."

"Grace Annabeth Altman," Teddy scolded, "you could not have stopped Jessica from jumping off the swing. She would have fallen if you had been there or not. What do you tell parents who bring kids into the ER from playground falls? What did we tell you the day Allison had her first reaction?"

"But those parents don't get sent to their room without dinner or grounded for it," Annie said.

"Where was Dan," Teddy asked.

"He took Jessica to the hospital," Annie said.

"How long were you grounded," Teddy asked.

"60 days was typical. School, studio, church thats it," Annie said, "written apology letters, extra chores. Speak only when spoken to if you're grounded."

Teddy's eyes filled with tears, "Annie I'm sorry. I really thought you would be safe and healthy there. I miss judged them. I'm sorry sweetheart."

"You didn't know," Annie said, "you couldn't know. She's great at the public face. She knows how to play it. She's manipulative and taught Jessica well."

"I'm sorry," Teddy cried, "I wish I had known I would have chosen differently. Annie it's my fault I chose them for you."

"Mama you couldn't know," Annie said, "Chris and I have talked that it got worse as we got older. Grandmere told me something that I think may be a key."

"What did grandmere say," Teddy asked.

"She mentioned that after Jessica was born they tried to have one more baby," Annie said, "that the baby didn't develop a brain and she lost it at about 6 months. Which was why she couldnt acknowledge Ellie until I was 7 months. Grandmere said Leslie was in the hospital and the psych ward for a couple weeks. I remember being about 6 or 7 and we stayed with grandmere and papa for a month. I think it might be the key."

"That would change you for sure," Teddy said.

"Grandmere said Leslie changed after that her whole personality shifted," Annie continued, "that, that's when her perfectionism started. She could only accept us being perfect. Anything less was not acceptable."

"The first time you came to stay on your last night I had a weird dream," Teddy said, "it was the first time in a couple years I had dreamed of my mom."

"Does that happen often," Annie asked.

"Usually when there's big changes coming," Teddy said, "it's always some sort of premonition. Your first visit I dreamed of my mom. She was talking about you, that something was happening and you were preparing to run. That you had been getting stronger and when you were ready would come to me."

"That was February," Annie said, "I didn't ask to come again until July."

"I don't think that's what the dream meant," Teddy explained," I think she meant when you would start telling me what was happening with Jessica. Then when you asked for me to come to the hospital in July. That's the first time you called me mama."

"I had been thinking about it for months," Annie said, "since that February. You acted like the mom I needed. You listened and didn't brush my opinions off. My questions were encouraged instead of silenced. You gave me choices. I couldn't call you mama until I was loopy. I was afraid of how you would react."

"I loved it," Teddy said, "it surprised me in the moment but that felt right. It shocked people."

"Chrisitna rolled her eyes the first time she heard it," Annie said.

"And Evelyn gave me a big hug," Teddy said, "that week was also the start of Uncle Owen."

"Let me put Ellie down for the night then we can finish this," Annie said.

Nathan and Josh were sitting in the attendings lounge.

"It still feels weird to be in her uncle Nate," Josh said.

"You in navy scrubs is still weird," Nathan agreed, "when does Annie come back?"

"Tomorrow," Josh replied, "she's having a hard time with it. She's so protective with Ellie and I can't figure out why."

"You went to Cloverdale didn't you," Nathan said, "did that give you any ideas?"

"A few but not enough to go on," Josh said, "Leslie there's something off with her."

"I've thought so since we met her," Nathan agreed, "what came up at the house?"

"They still have all the medals and trophies Annie ever won displayed," Josh said, "right from the photo of her first championship, her and Meghan. Every hockey MVP Chris won. Her graduation photos, highschool, college, med school. It's a look at what she can do but they don't know Annie. They can list her accomplishments but know nothing about what matters to her."

"How's she doing," Nathan asked.

"She's struggling," Josh admitted," Teddy was coming over tonight. That always helps. Annie's had a hard year."

"Ellie," Nathan said, "Jessica, Dan, Leslie."

Josh joked, "be glad you don't have to deal with monts of a hormonal wife."

"She was pretty good around us," Nathan said.

"Who does Annie let see her vulnerable side," Josh asked.

"You and Teddy," Nathan agreed.

"It was rough," Josh said, "she was sicker than we ever told you. Then the week before Ellie was born she was so uncomfortable she couldn't sleep no matter how I tried to help. We think the night before she had three hours of sleep tops."

"I've seen Meg sick and in pain enough when she came home that I'm okay with not seeing her go though that," Nathan admitted.

"It was hard to watch," Josh said, "Annie was in so much pain, she was beyond exhausted, and all I could do was hold her up and tell her I loved her. That she was okay and I wasn't going anywhere. There was nothing I could do to make it better. I wanted to change places with her."

"When you brought Ellie home, how was it," Nathan asked.

"Exhausting," Josh admitted, "Ellie fed almost every 90 minutes the first week, she would feed for half an hour, we'd change her diaper and she'd sleep for 9- minutes. Annie maybe got two hours of sleep at once. We're still up at night with Ellie. Annie more than me to feed Ellie. Your whole world tunnels in on the baby, it's all you can think or talk about. Did they eat, are they eating enough, we don't know how to measure how much she's getting, are there enough diapers. Is Annie eating enough, drinking, did she get a chance to shower, sleep."

"I can do half of the feedings," Nathan said, "we have to use formula and we're really grateful for whatever Annie can give us. But is she up to that?"

"She says she is," Josh replied, "if she's eating enough it will be okay. Annie is struggling with that right now."

"What's going on," Nathan asked.

"Don't tell Teddy and Owen," Josh said, "Leslie made some comments about Annie's weight and she hasn't eaten since."

"She did what," Nathan hissed.

"Leslie muttered that Annie hasn't lost the baby weight yet and that I wouldn't stick around if she didn't soon," Josh ranted, "I've noticed changes yes, I think she's more attractive now than ever. I have a really hard time keeping my hands off her. I can't wait until Ellie is in her own room. Annie is perfect. Annie seems to think that to be worthy of anyone's affection she has to be and look perfect. And Leslie taught Annie that unless she was the smallest woman in the room she wasn't worthy."

"That's not healthy," Nathan said, "that explains why Teddy sometimes puts food in front of Annie or reminds her to eat. I thought it was Teddy being a mom. Evelyn does it to all of us, Meg does it to Faroke."

"No," Josh said, "I know in med school Annie struggled with disordered eating patterns. She will restrict her food down to a couple hundred calories a day. Annie doesn't eat if she's over tired or stressed but this is bad. I don't know how to help her."

"Have you said anything to Annie," Nathan asked.

"Not yet," Josh said, "I'm not sure that's what shes doing. I can't tell if it's intentional or if she's just over tired and stressed. She's worried about coming back."

"Meg is already worrying about that," Nathan said, "Teddy gave her 12 weeks and me 4."

"That's what we got," Josh said, "Teddy was really generous. I hope she does this for other families and not just ours."

"I think she will," Nathan said, "how did you bond with Ellie?"

"Feeling the little kicks once she started moving, talking to her in Annie's stomach, playing with her trying to get her to move more," Josh said, "but once she came holding, talking to her, I changed a lot of diapers before I came back to work. I do bath time most nights. Bottles once in a while, we take turns with the carrier on walks. If you don't have one of those you need one, we use it more than we use the stroller on walks. When they offer you skin to skin time, do it, Ellie fell asleep right away, now I can lay with her on my chest and Ellie will look at me and smile. I get Ellie ready in the morning, Annie feeds her then I change and dress Ellie and play with her before I go."

"How did you know you were ready," Nathan asked, "I'm 48 years old and I'm scared to be a dad to this little baby."

"I didn't," Josh admitted, "Annie was ready, she wanted a baby, she knew. I didn't think I was ready until I held Ellie for the first time. I spent 9 months scared and worried about my wife every second. But the moment Ellie was in my arms she was mine. My little girl. The fear lessened seeing those little green eyes looking at me. Giving her her first bath. That first morning cuddling with her and Annie both of them asleep in my arms, my girls, my family."

"Can we do it," Nathan asked.

"Uncle Nate you basically raised me," Josh said, "I wouldn't be who I am today without you. Faroke is thriving. This baby is lucky to have you. Do you have a name?"

"After the games you two pulled I'm not telling you until she's here," Nathan chuckled, "you'll know when she arrives."

"Any day now," Josh said, "the days after the due date were long. Ellie was 5 days late and Annie agreed to watch Ali and Leo, they had both of us but just walking through the park with them Annie had had enough and was so uncomfortable but she insisted on a normal sibling day for them."

"What about Faroke," Nathan asked, "Allison has had a bit of an adjustment to Annie not being available as much. Faroke has always had all of our attention."

"He's 15," Josh said, "he'll understand. Yes it was a surprise when Allison was born. Annie was used to being Teddy's only child but she had grown up with Chris and Jessica. Sharing Teddy was an adjustment. They've always been very close. They texted constantly when we were in school. There wasn't a day they didn't facetime and talk. Annie was afraid of losing that and she was 25."

"How did they solve that," Nathan asked.

"They keep their coffee date every week," Josh said, "they usually run once a week. Annie sometimes hangs out with Owen."

"So keep out time with Faroke," Nathan said.

"That time is non negotiable in their schedules," Josh said, "you can't skip it."

"Does Ellie go with Annie," Nathan asked.

"Sometimes," Josh said, "now that the bottle is going better if Annie isn't around Ellie stays with me."

"Ellie won't take a bottle, what if our baby doesn't," Nathan asked wide eyed.

"Ellie wants Annie," Josh replied, "we didn't try introducing the bottle until Ellie was about 7 weeks, she didn't associate it with food. Now Ellie will take a bottle if she can't see or hear Annie. Ellie is a mommy's girl though."

"What do we do," Nathan asked.

"Your's will have a bottle from the moment it's born, it won't know any different," Josh said, "Uncle Nathan you and Meghan can do this. This baby is lucky to have you."

"How do these playdate things work," Nathan asked.

"You and I talk," Josh said, "Annie and Meg hold the babies or put them on a blanket for tummy time together and talk about babies. Ellie will have your baby and our friend Steph Mitchell from med school, Annie's old roommate, is having a boy at the beginning of November. They can all play together."

"Dr. Mitchell like the OB fellow," Nathan asked.

"Yes," Josh said, "her and Annie shared an apartment for 4 years. I'm worried about Annie and the 3 cardio fellows. They'll eat her alive one of them already complained that they haven't met the fourth fellow because she's on the mommy track to mediocrity."

"Waiting to meet our daughter is hard," Nathan said, "I just want to see that baby. To see her in Meg's arms."

"It'll come," Josh said, "seeing them seconds old in their mother's arms, that's magic. This afternoon I got in from my run and Annie was in the rocking chair talking to Ellie and the way the sun hit them it was perfect, angelic."

"When did you become a poet," Nathan teased.

"Fatherhood," Josh replied.

"Owen says the same thing," Nathan smiled.

Annie came back from tucking Ellie in, "sorry she woke up and needed some help to go back to sleep."

"You're a good mom," Teddy smiled, "you have nothing to worry about. Annie you love your baby and she loves you."

"It's not enough," Annie said, "I have to be perfect. If I'm not perfect I lose everything."

"What will you lose," Teddy asked.

"Leslie said something that keeps running through my head," Annie replied.

Teddy passed Annie a mug, having made tea while Annie put Ellie to bed.

"What did Leslie say," Teddy asked.

"Just a remark about my weight," Annie said, "that if I didn't lose the baby weight I'll lose Josh."

"Annie," Teddy said, "look at me."

"Yes," Annie whispered.

"You have to be clear with me," Teddy said, "what exactly did Leslie say?"

"She said that it was a miracle Josh was still around because I haven't lost the baby weight especially in the chest. She said if I didn't lose it all soon I would lose him," Annie cried.

"Baby girl look at me and listen carefully," Teddy said.

"I know my body has changed and I'm still coming to terms with it," Annie sobbed, "what if she's right."

"Look at the evidence," Teddy said, "at the cabin a few weeks ago Josh couldn't keep his hands off you. You and I went swimming with the kids last week, Ellie's first swim and if I didn't know sweetheart I never would have known you just had a baby."

"I look different," Annie said, "the stretch marks won't go away."

"In time," Teddy said, "you need to be patient with yourself. It took 9 months for Ellie to grow; you have to give yourself time."

"I was proud that day I wore jeans I bought a week before we found out," Annie said, "I wore them 5 or 6 times before they were too tight."

"You're wearing your prebaby jeans," Teddy said, "I never did that after Allison. Does Owen love me any less?"

"She was the start of your romantic relationship," Annie pointed out.

"What you and Josh have is something some of us wait decades for," Teddy said, "you two just get each other. It's never been about how the other looked. You and Josh have one of those perfect love stories, your connection is incredibly deep and you can't question that. Sweetheart are you eating?"

"Barely," Annie whispered, "it gets stuck in my throat."

"When did that start," Teddy asked.

"Saturday," Annie replied, "but I've been forcing myself to eat for a few weeks."

"What do you need," Teddy asked, "before this gets out of control."

"It's close to being out of control," Annie admitted, "it's something I can control."

"What do you need," Teddy asked.

"This is a Josh conversation," Annie said.

"Annie is this about your marriage," Teddy asked, "at dinner the other night he couldn't take his hands off you."

"What if she's right and he leaves me," Annie asked.

"When has Josh ever given you an indication of that," Teddy asked, "seriously Annie. That woman has a history of lies and manipulation. Why are you believing her?"

"Because she raised me. She taught me that she's always right and to question made me a bad person. Asking questions means I'm stupid and worthless," Annie ranted.

"I hate that she did this to you. I trusted them. I thought they were the right choice. I met with three other couples and I really thought they were my best choice. They were the only couple who wanted to keep me informed," Teddy said, "they described the life I wanted you to have. Two parents, extended family, an education, sports when you were ready. I truly thought they were the absolute best choice for you. I miss read them. I'm sorry. The more I hear the more I think I should have kept you. The two of us against the world. We could have done it. It would have been hard but we could have done it."

"But we wouldn't be us if we had," Annie said, "mama you couldn't have known. How could you? Grandmere said it didn't start until I was 6 or 7."

"Why didn't anyone step up and help," Teddy asked through her tears.

"Because I didn't let them," Annie said, "I thought I deserved it. My job is to make people happy to put others first always."

"Is that why when you make a mistake you freeze," Teddy asked.

Annie nodded.

"Why even if you're not really interested in a surgery or a project you don't say no to me," Teddy asked.

"If I say no you won't love me anymore," Annie sobbed.

Teddy put her arms around Annie. She hadn't realized her oldest was so vulnerable and so untrusting of her love.

"You weren't exactly happy when I told you about Ellie," Annie said.

"I was always happy about it. Annie we talked about this. I was shocked but I was always happy for you," Teddy said, "I have loved you from the moment that stick turned pink. I used to miss you so much it physically hurt."

"Really," Annie asked.

Teddy nodded, "it was the worst around your birthday. I'd tell people I had a migraine and lay in bed and cry. It was the one day a year I let myself play the what if game. What if I had kept you. The years Meg was my roommate were the easiest. She would hug me and sit with me and we could talk about you. When you were born the doctor wanted to punish me. He shouldn't have had a medical license. He refused to give me the shot to make sure I didn't get milk so I had milk for you but no baby. All these changes you've gone through all the hormones in the last couple months I've done that twice and the first time was harder because I would wake up crying for you and you weren't there."

"I didn't know," Annie said, "I'm sorry."

"It was hard and I never want to do it again or see another woman deal with that," Teddy said, "but you are not going to apologize."

"You can't either," Annie said, "no one has a crystal ball. How could anyone know?"

"We couldn't," Teddy agreed, "but how can we make it better?"

"Make sure I'm never like her," Annie said, "that I never make Ellie feel that way."

"I can do that," Teddy said, "but what about you?"

"I want to get some help," Annie said, "I need help. I've googled and there's an online support group for children on narcissistic parents."

"If you want to and you think it would help why don't you listen in or read the posts before you decide," Teddy suggested.

"And I'm never going back there until both of them get help. I can't be around Leslie or Jessica. I don't feel like me. I have to go backwards to the scared kid that left for Boston," Annie said, "their toxic and I can't put Ellie through that."

"Your fighting for Ellie," Teddy said, "fight for you. Do it for you Annie what will make you happy?"

"To be loved for me," Annie said, "to finally be accepted for me all of me."

"Josh, me, Owen, Nana, Meg, Nathan, Ali, Leo, Faroke, Ellie," Teddy said, "our family. Your friends."

"My friends don't know all of it," Annie said, "they can't. Jenna will find out more soon though."

"Why will Jenna find out more," Teddy asked.

"Her and Chris are talking," Annie smiled, "something happened at the christening. Jenna left then came back and they were in the hammock until almost midnight when I heard her car leave and Chris lock up."

"Are you okay with that," Teddy asked.

"Jenna and Chris," Annie thought, "maybe. It means letting Jenna into the darkness."

"She knows you," Teddy said, "your friends all see it and how you will do anything to keep others happy. You were taught some horrible lessons and lies but it's not to late to change your perspective. When you chose cardio did you really like it or was that to please me?"

"Both," Annie admitted, "peds is my first love. I love kids and babies. I really want to add maternal fetal and neonatal when I get a chance but with Arizona talking about leaving there's not a teacher for it."

"I'm working on a different neonatal and maternal fetal attending," Teddy said, "Dr. Montgomery. She's in private practice in LA. She's difficult to wow into coming back. I'd say I have a fellow for her but I can't commit you. You need your voice."

"Cassidy," Annie suggested, "she wants OB and maternal fetal."

"I'll talk to her when I know for sure," Teddy said, "I think I need to take a step back from you at work again. I don't know how with you as a cardio fellow but we'll make it work."

"Assign me to Maggie or Christina for a while away from you and Nathan," Annie asked.

"That would be a start," Teddy said, "but I've kept you too close for too long."

"I wanted to learn and work with you," Annie said, "prove I can be as good by becoming your right hand."

"And now you need to fly on your own," Teddy said, "our paper we'll publish then you're ready to try your own project."

"I want to see if it can be adapted to HLH babies," Annie said.

"Get creative," Teddy encouraged, "you'll see your project when you get the right patient."

"Should my name be on the Altman method," Annie asked, "I did no more work than a normal resident would on their attendings project."

"Me putting your name on it and pushing you into these things is my way of making up for our years apart," Teddy admitted, "I couldn't teach you to use your voice, have an opinion or stand up for yourself. I didn't get to teach you to ride a bike or count to ten. You barely let me help you with school, I would have paid your rent so you didn't have to work so much. The only thing I've been able to give you to help is OR time. When you were younger I wanted you to try and see for yourself. Then as you went through med school and became more focused on surgery it was a way to be involved in your education and let you see things in Germany that you would never see here. Then when we got here I was so excited to be working with you. To finally have you in the same city that sometimes I hold on too tight."

"Can we keep talking like this," Annie asked.

"We can," Teddy promised.

At the hospital Nathan asked, "how do you deal with all the tiny pink things?"

"Annie has always loved pink," Josh laughed, "but yes we have a lot of little pink clothes with hearts or flowers."

"Is it all pink," Nathan asked, "Meg has been going pink crazy."

"No it's not all pink," Josh laughed, "we have lots of white, purple, blue. But it's all those soft colours. We have a couple bags of clothes for you. Newborn stuff Ellie has out grown."

"Are you sure," Nathan asked.

"Annie packed up her favourite pieces into a bin if we ever have another but there's lots that would just sit in our crawlspace," Josh said.

"Meg bought alot, Annie, Evelyn and Teddy have given her some things as well," Nathan said, "Meghan was hoping for a baby shower."

"Annie and Teddy have something planned," Josh said, "the end of the month as a surprise for Meghan. They wanted to wait to make sure everything went as planned before they did a big shower."

"Make sure Rebecca didn't change her mind you mean," Nathan said.

"It was Teddy's idea to wait," Josh said, "Annie wanted to do it the day before Ellie's Christening."

"Why would Teddy want us to wait," Nathan asked.

"She told Annie it was better to wait until you had the baby in your arms," Josh said, "that she was very close to keeping Annie. She said it wasn't until the day before Annie was born that she knew she was making the best choice for Annie. As soon as your baby comes how we will be there to celebrate. Ellie has to meet her cousin. Annie has been making freezer meals for you guys."

"Why would she do that," Nathan asked.

"Because Meghan did it for us," Josh said, "so Annie has done huge batches of a few things that freeze well and frozen them for both our families."

"How do you get time as a couple," Nathan asked.

"We've had one baby free night. Annie had a hard time with it but Teddy and Owen took Ellie overnight a few days ago," Josh said, "let us be together. I'm waiting for Ellie to sleep through the night so she can go to her crib."

"Still," Nathan said.

"The no sleeping or that Annie is reluctant to let me see her," Josh said.

"Sleeping," Nathan said, "I'm not dealing with the physical changes the way you are. We only have the baby things to worry about."

"Ellie is sleeping more," Josh said, "and for longer but it's Annie's anxiety that keeps her in our room. She would be fine to move to the crib. But we finally have her napping in the crib so it's a step. I'm going to try to be the one to put Ellie down for the night in the crib when Annie works late."

"Will it work," Nathan asked.

"I think we'll get to the middle of the night feeding then Annie will bring her back to our room," Josh said, "Annie cuddles Ellie back to sleep then."

"Annie is a very doting mom," Nathan observed.

"Meghan will be," Josh said, "Evelyn won't know what to do with two babies to hold."

"Imagine two of them learning to walk or run around," Nathan smiled.

"Playing with Allison and Leo," Josh smiled, "Allison loves Ellie."

"Theres a relationship between Annie and Allison that I don't know if we'll ever see our baby have with her brother," Nathan said.

"Annie honestly wasn't sold on the whole baby sister idea until she held Allison and actually saw her," Josh said, "it took a couple weeks for her to even admit she liked her baby sister. Annie has a lot of insecurities because Leslie is a raging narcissist and played a lot of games with Annie growing up. Once Annie understood that Teddy was still around and would still care about her it was fine."

"So both of you were raised by messed up parents," Nathan said.

"And only having contact with our dads," Josh replied, "Dan was mentaly abused as much as Annie and Chris were. Jessica was Leslie's puppet. We're both doing what we need to to be healthy for Ellie. Don't worry about us."

"I'll always worry about you," Nathan said, "so does Meg."

"You don't need to," Josh replied.

"It was you years ago that made her want kids," Nathan said, "we spent a week with you. We hadn't been together long at all and we were still in school. We came to visit and your parents were off somewhere getting drunk or high and left you with us. She wanted to do your home reading with you for school. She took your book out of your backpack and you just crawled up in her lap and let her hug you and read to you. We gave you a bath and tucked you in and you said no one ever tucked you in. We almost took you back to Boston. Owen would have killed us, if it would have been legal we would have. For years I thought you were the closest thing I would ever have to a son. I'm proud of you Josh, you've built a great life for yourself."

"I couldn't have done it without your encouragement. I never would have had the balls to apply to med school or even take my MCAT without you," Josh said, "your more of my father than dad. It's you I wanted to grow up and be like. Thank you for supporting me."

"If we were any of the women we would hug," Nathan teased.

"Annie would hug you," Josh laughed.

"Fuck it," Nathan said hugging Josh, "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks uncle Nate," Josh said, returning the hug.

"Now we get to figure out baby girls together," Nathan smiled.

"I have a head start," Josh teased, "but Owen is the expert."

"All the kids love him," Nathan replied, "how?"

"I don't know," Josh said, "he's never a drill sergeant with them."

"Yet," Nathan replied, "it'll come."

"When their teenagers," Josh laughed, "I wouldn't want to be any guy trying to date Allison."

"Him or Teddy who's more protective," Nathan asked.

"Equal with Allison but Teddy with Annie," Josh replied.