Chapter 11: Fragility (Part 2)
Hey, Alex here. As you may know, at the end of the first part of this chapter recounting my adventures, I had fallen unconscious. There were some important things that happened while I was unconscious, so I myself have no recollection of the events immediately after said half of chapter. Therefore, I've chosen to have Monika recount the events for me.
The majority of this chapter will be told from her perspective, so as to keep a feeling of conformity between events. As I sit at my desk, writing this intro, Monika sits next to me, waiting to start her portion of this story. So, without further ado, take it away Monika!
Friday, April 12, 2022
14:30
{Monika POV}
Everyone around me called after Alex frantically, urging him to stay with the rest of our group. I, on the other hand, was doing my best to hold everyone back from following him and Natsuki. Now, don't get me wrong, I was scared for their safety too, but I didn't want to lose any more than I had to. I didn't like it, I despised it in fact, but it was the best I could do.
"Moni! Let go!" Sayori shouted as I held her back by the arm.
"We can't just let Alex and Natsu go alone!" Tiffany added.
Mc and Yuri yelled similar things, but I held them back with all my might. Without the ability to enhance my physical strength, this proved much more difficult than it would've been otherwise. However, I refused to let up. That is, until all the weight suddenly shifted, and everyone stopped struggling.
I was able to stop from falling over, but only because I was stunned by the same thing as they were. Everyone stopped moving at the same time because we all heard something. A scream. To be more specific, Natsuki's scream. My mind threw my previous thoughts down the wayside, and my body was suddenly in motion, barreling down the halls as fast as my feet could take me.
I could hear the others running behind me, their footfalls echoing down the halls just the same as mine. A part of my mind was questioning my current decision, asking me why I changed my mind so suddenly. Well, even now, I only have one answer to that: Alex.
Now, really quickly, I'm sure that Alex has talked about events related to this, but I felt that I should explain it in more detail. Ever since I'd brought Alex to my world, I commonly found it impressive how strong his resolve was. Even when the odds were stacked against him, he refused to give in. He was devoted to helping me save everyone in the Literature Club, despite having not known me personally for very long.
In a way, you could say I looked up to him. I'd originally brought him in hopes that he could help me save the others, but I quickly discovered that it was mostly me helping him. We were partners in this endeavor, always having each other's backs.
THAT'S why I was now rushing down the halls at full speed. THAT'S why I'd gotten so far. I couldn't bear it if I'd lost him, or anyone, for that matter. With the determination fueled by this fact coursing through my body, I quickly found myself just one turn away from the hallway that the clubroom was in.
I put on one more burst of speed as I turned the corner, taking in the scene as fast as I could. The clubroom door was open, with Natsuki standing right outside it. However, in between them, lying on the floor, was Alex. His eyes were closed, worrying me so much that I immediately found myself crouching down next to him.
"Nat, what happened?" I asked Natsuki to no response. I continued waiting, but there was still no answer spoken.
I gazed up at Natsuki to see what was wrong. She looked terrified. There were tears in the corners of her eyes, and her skin was almost completely white. Whatever she was scared of was inside the clubroom, as was determined by her line of sight. I instantly followed said line of sight into the clubroom, and my blood went just as cold as hers.
There, laying with his back against the wall, was Shiro. Dead. Blood covered the wall and floor around him, also staining his clothes and skin. There was a hole in his lower torso, some of his intestines visible behind the cloth and skin. Blood poured from the corner of his mouth, and there was no sign of any life in his body.
"W-what the..." I was too stunned to speak, so much so that I didn't even notice the rest of the club approaching until they were right next to us.
I heard stunned sputtering and gasps as they too discovered Shiro's dead body. Once the initial shock was over, Tiffany screamed and backed up to the wall, distancing herself from the body as much as she could.
"H-holy s-shit..." Mc muttered. "I... I'm getting the nurse!" He darted back down the halls at full speed, but it was obviously a fruitless endeavor.
The rest of us that stayed there fell to our knees at the sight, unable to process what we'd just discovered. For a long time, no one said anything. There was no need to. We just waited there, until we began to hear rapid footsteps getting closer from down the halls.
With whatever part of my being wasn't taken up by Shiro's corpse, I turned my head towards the sounds. Mc and the nurse were now running towards us, a frantically concerned look on each of their faces.
"In here! Hurry!" Mc called as he led the nurse into the clubroom. The nurse's expression froze as he gazed upon Shiro's body, unable to comprehend what had unfolded before him.
"H-how could this h-happen?" Tiffany stuttered. "Shiro... is dead?"
"No... he can't be!" Sayori exclaimed. "T-this has to be a dream!"
Small statements of denial continued to flow through our group, each of us desperately trying to convince ourselves that the scene in front of us wasn't real. But, no matter what, there was no denying it. No matter how much we lied to ourselves, it would never change the truth. As the nurse checked Shiro's body, his grim expression said it all:
Shiro was truly, completely dead.
*Thirty minutes later*
After the discovery of Shiro's dead body, the nurse sent the rest of us to his office so he could keep an eye on us while we waited for the police to arrive. It's not that he didn't trust us, he was just worried that we could be in danger as well.
We lugged Alex's unconscious body with us to the nurse's office, although requiring a bit of convincing for Natsuki to stop her from attempting to carry him herself. Natsuki shakily explained what had happened to cause Alex to faint, reassuring the rest of us about his well-being. I wouldn't exactly call it a silver-lining to the situation, but it was something.
So, there we were, each of us sitting, facing each other, on the side of two hospital beds. Natsuki sat to my left, Sayori sat to my right, and the remaining three club members sat across from us on the opposing bed. Alex was still unconscious, laying down on the same bed as Natsuki, Sayori, and I. Natsuki sat closest to his head, and was absentmindedly stroking his hair as we waited.
"You really do love him, don't you?" I softly asked Natsuki, trying to alleviate a bit of the tension.
"...Yeah." She answered after a long pause. "He changed my life for the better. I really wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for him." There was a small hint of a smile on her face.
"You sure have changed, Natsuki." Yuri quietly giggled. "Just a couple of weeks ago, you would never say that in front of anyone."
"Hey, so have you." Mc commented. "Remember back when you'd stutter just from talking to me?" This earned a small laugh from most of us.
"Alex really did change all our lives." Sayori lamented with a smile. "I can't even imagine where we'd be right now without him."
The six of us shared a long moment of silence. The blanket of sadness that encompassed us was still there, but it was at least lessened by the conversation we'd just had. However, that silence was eventually interrupted by a sharp 'SLAM' coming from the door.
We all turned toward the door in surprise as Keisatsu threw it open, letting it hit the wall rather hard. He had a wildly concerned expression on his face, which quickly dissipated into a relieved smile as he saw our group.
"Oh, thank god." He breathed a sigh of relief.
He took a step inside, waving to the nurse as he did so. He did a small scan of our group, doing a bit of a double-take when he noticed Alex passed out on the hospital bed. Rushing forward, he knelt down at the side of the bed and looked at Alex.
"Is... is he okay?" He asked frantically.
"He's fine." I responded. "Just fainted, that's all."
Keisatsu let out another deep sigh of relief, replaced with a grim frown immediately after. He sat down next to Alex's feet, on the other side of the bed from us. Because of this, he had to crane his neck around in order to see us.
"I'm sorry about Shiro." He apologized. "If only I'd taken more precautions, he'd probably still be alive..."
No one said anything in response. Mc's, Yuri's, Tiffany's, and Sayori's faces held an expression of pity, while as Natsuki's was unreadable. We were all probably thinking the same thing: We all held a part of the blame. As a group, we should've done more to keep everyone in the same place, and because we didn't, one of was now dead.
"It's not your fault, dad." Mc solemnly stated. "We got a message from that mole you mentioned, telling us not to go to the clubroom. Shiro wasn't with us when we got the message, so he didn't know about it."
The sentence was punctuated by a long silence, filled only by the clacking of keyboards keys coming from the nurse as he worked at his computer. It felt like an eternity until there were more spoken words.
"Wait a minute..." Natsuki suddenly said. "What about the text Monika sent him?" It took everyone a moment to understand what she meant, but as soon as they did, all eyes fell on me.
"What's this about a text message?" Keisatsu inquired.
"Back when we got the message from the mole, Shiro wasn't with us, so I sent him a text message telling him about it." I explained as I pulled out my phone. "Did he not see it or something?"
I quickly scrolled through my contacts list until I reached Shiro's name. I hadn't really talked to him all that much, so it was quite far down in the list. As soon as I tapped his name and brought up the chat display, I instantly noticed something wrong.
"He... saw the message?" I pointed out, confused. "It says here that he saw the message just after I sent it to him."
"What?" Natsuki leaned over my shoulder to confirm this for herself. "But why would he still go to the clubroom if he knew it was dangerous?"
This question circulated through our minds as we tried our best to make sense of it. However, the more we thought about it, the less it made sense.
"It's best that you don't think about it right now." Keisatsu said. "Once the boys finish investigating the crime scene, we'll figure it out then. For now, let's get back home. I'd bet you're all a little drained after this."
He then began to stand up from the bed to leave, but Natsuki quickly turned around and reached over, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"Wait." She requested, freezing him in place. "Before we go... can I see him one last time?"
A long pause followed before Keisatsu eventually turned around to face her.
"Why would you want to do that?" He inquired. Natsuki looked a little off to the side, small tears in the corners of her eyes.
"I just wanted to say goodbye... I guess." She admitted. "I know that sounds stupid, but-"
"Okay." Keisatsu interrupted her. Natsuki had a surprised expression on her face.
"W-what?" She stuttered. Keisatsu looked up, taken aback.
"I've lost a few friends in the line of duty without getting the chance to say goodbye." He lamented. "I'd rather you be given the chance, unlike me." Natsuki's mouth curled up into a warm smile.
"Thank you." She said softly. Keisatsu returned her smile as he stood up from the bed.
"Anyone else coming?" He asked the rest of us.
One by one, the rest of the club members stood up and followed him. First Tiffany, then Mc, Yuri, and finally Sayori. They each stood up from their beds and took up Keisatsu's offer, all except for Alex (obviously) and I.
"Moni, aren't you coming?" Sayori asked me concernedly. I shook my head.
"I'd rather keep an eye on Alex, just in case." I reasoned. "I don't want to take any more chances."
After finishing my sentence, the others left the room soundlessly. Natsuki gave me a thankful look as she left, although that was about it. As the door slowly closed behind them, I was now alone in the nurse's office with the nurse and Alex.
I turned to the side and looked at Alex head-on, lamenting what he'd done for all of us over the past couple of weeks. Saving Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki would've been next to impossible without him, which only made Shiro's death hurt my heart even more. I've said before that I'd reset the world every time I failed to save everyone, but there was a bit more to it than that.
This wasn't the first timeline in which I'd met Tiffany and Shiro. In fact, it wasn't even the second, third, fourth, you get the idea. I'd known them so long, and they didn't even know it, just like the other club members. And, just like the other club members, I'd watched them die countless times. It hurt me so much, I eventually just resolved to reset the world if either of THEM died as well.
And... that leads us to my dilemma as I sat there next to Alex.
'I could reset it again, possibly bring back Shiro and try again.' I thought. 'But then... Alex would...'
I suddenly found myself crying quite heavily. If I reset the world now, everyone would be brought back, all except for Alex. He wasn't originally a part of this world, so he wouldn't come back. He'd be gone... forever.
'No, what the hell am I thinking?!' I scolded myself. 'I can't do that. I can't do that to Alex.'
I'd brought Alex to my world to help me save my friends, but it was also because he was the only one who knew how I felt. If I betrayed him like that, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, regardless of whether or not I still had the others. Once I realized this, I felt disgusted with myself.
"I'm sorry, Alex." I whispered, fully aware that he probably couldn't hear me.
Alex truly had suffered, just as the rest of us. He watched his friends die all around him, saw his parents get murdered, and even went through discovering the hanged body of his sister. Now, he's been forced to endure another loss. Life was most unfair for the two of us.
However, despite this, Alex was always so confident and determined. He never let up on saving any of the club members, doing his best no matter how difficult it was. I lost count of how long I'd been trying to save the others, so long, in fact, that I'd forgotten what it felt like to be happy, confident, or anything of the sort. I had turned into a broken husk of myself, and I wouldn't have recovered if it weren't for Alex.
"I know you probably can't hear me, but," I whispered, "we're partners in this. We've come so far, and we can't lose now."
I slowly laid my hand down on his for comfort, just in case he really heard me. I didn't really expect him to, but you never know.
"I can hear you."
The sudden voice startled me, making me jump slightly. I retracted my hand instantly.
"Are you okay, Ms. Kontororu?" The nurse inquired, looking away from his computer for a few moments.
"Ah, yes. I'm fine." I responded. "Just a bit tired." The nurse nodded in affirmation, then turned back to his desktop.
'Now... what was that?' I asked myself.
The voice I heard was that of Alex, but the nurse clearly didn't hear him as well. But... there was no way Alex actually spoke to me, right? Unless...
I slowly moved my hand over his once more, said hand shaking the entire time. As my hand finally rested upon his, I quietly whispered:
"Alex... can you hear me?"
I waited for a response and was quickly rewarded with one.
"Yup, I can see you, too." He answered.
"What?" I was confused. "But you're lying unconscious on a hospital bed right now." There was a small and thoughtful "hmm" in response.
"Well, from my perspective, I'm currently in a black void." Alex explained. "It's been this way ever since... you know... and then you suddenly showed up and said something about being sorry."
I froze in fear and shame, shocked that he'd heard that.
"Monika, are you okay?" He asked. "You look a bit pale."
I could barely hold back the torrent of tears that threatened to break out. Eventually, I just gave up and let them burst out.
"Alex, I'm so sorry!" I cried.
"Whoa, Monika! Calm down!" Alex exclaimed. "What are you talking about?!"
"I...I..." I could barely speak through the sobs. "I actually considered killing you to bring Shiro back!"
There was a long pause as Alex processed this information. I continued crying, just waiting for him to get angry at me, say I betrayed him, or something of the sort.
Suddenly, I found myself standing up. I was no longer sitting on the hospital bed in the nurse's office, nor was I even in the nurse's office. I was now in a dark void, blackness surrounding me completely. In my disoriented and grief-filled state, I frantically looked around in search of... something. Anything. Then, I saw him.
Alex was standing just a few feet away, staring at me directly with tears in his eyes. I could practically feel the despair and hatred emanating off him. Eventually, I just couldn't take it anymore and fell to my knees, staring down in shame. I continually cried, tears falling farther down than I could see into the black void.
"I'm sorry!" I wailed as I fell onto my hands and knees. "I'm a monster!"
No reply followed. I waited... waited... and waited longer still... but no response was uttered. The only audible sound was my crying. It filled the void and seemed to bounce off some unseen wall, echoing throughout the infinite space of nothingness.
Testing my luck, I looked up at Alex.
He was looking down, casting a shadow over his eyes as to not give away his emotions. He had a frown on his face, though, making me believe that he was quite angry or sad. Then, a small tear popped out of his eye and trailed down his cheek, dropping off his chin and falling into the infinite drop below us.
He took a sudden step forward, then another. I snapped my head back down, not daring make eye contact with Alex. The footsteps quickly got closer and closer, until they were directly in front of me. I continued staring down as I heard the rustling of clothes communicating that he was kneeling down.
"Monika..." He uttered after a few seconds. "Look at me."
After a moment's hesitation, I slowly and carefully trained my gaze upward. I brought my hands up as well, resting them upon my legs as I went back to the normal kneeling position. Suddenly, as soon as I met his gaze, he surged forward and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a soft embrace.
Just like the day we first met, I was stunned speechless. My arms remained at my sides, shocked at Alex's sudden hug.
"Monika... don't do that." Alex quietly sobbed. "Don't call yourself a monster."
"Alex... why are you doing this?" I asked, still crying. Alex released me and looked me in the eyes, keeping his hands on my shoulders.
"Monika, if I didn't believe in you to make the right choice, I wouldn't have agreed to help you in the first place." Alex explained. "Both of us have made bad decisions in the past that had serious consequences. You wanted to right that wrong, something that I can never do..."
Alex looked off to the side, lost in thought. I understood that he greatly blamed himself for his friends' deaths, feeling that if he weren't so terrified, he would've been able to save them.
"Alex, it isn't your fault." I told him. "The outcome would've been the same either way. One boy can't stop something like that."
He turned to me once again with a warm smile on his face. It was a smile of gratitude, but also one of relief.
"You see?" He started. "Monika, you're a good person. As you just demonstrated, you understand my pain just as I understand yours. As long as this goes on, I will continue to fight alongside you. We're partners in this, after all."
I stared on in shock once he finished speaking. I had suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted. Like something that had been restricting me and holding me down had suddenly just disappeared. My mouth slowly curled up into a cheery smile, and I threw my arms around Alex.
"Thank you, Alex..." I whispered. "I... I feel so much better."
Alex rubbed my back reassuringly.
"You should probably get back, now." He pointed out. "The others will be back any second."
I feebly resisted, tightening my grip on him a bit more. Then, I felt his hand softly touch my shoulder. My grip released, and I leaned back out.
"Listen, I'll be fine." He told me. "Besides, I probably won't remember this anyway."
"W-what?" I looked up at him. "Why?"
I never received a response. Only a warm, reassuring smile that told me everything would be alright. For some reason, this reassurance started to become contagious. My expression quickly matched Alex's. Slowly, he began to fade before my very eyes, along with all my other senses.
Before I fully blacked out, however, I heard a faint voice calling out. It was quiet, like a pin dropping at the end of a long hallway, but it was distinctly existent.
"Live..." It appeared to say.
It clearly wasn't Alex's voice, nor did it belong to anyone I'd ever known. Despite this, it sounded vaguely familiar. It was clearly female, but I could discern nothing else from it. This strange and alien voice echoed lightly, then it disappeared alongside my conscience...
[Back in the Nurse's office]
My hand was jolted back as I came to, practically throwing itself off Alex's without any direction from me. A bit disoriented, I took in my surroundings to calm myself. Everything was the same, including the constant clacking of the nurse tapping the keys on his desktop.
'What was that?' I wondered. 'Did Alex really just...'
I shook my head, banishing the thoughts about the previous confusing event. As I did so, I found myself filled with a warm feeling of calm. I let out a deep breath I hadn't known I was even holding in, taking all my current stresses with it.
That strange talk with Alex clearly made me feel better and lifted quite a few burdens from my shoulders. I turned to him and smiled down at him, silently thanking him for his help. I then merely sat back and waited for the others to arrive, which took what felt like only a few seconds.
"Hey, Moni." Sayori greeted me as everyone came flowing in through the door. "Is Alex okay?"
I nodded.
"He's fine, Bun." I answered with a smile.
"Come on, we have to go." Keisatsu ordered. "I'll carry him."
As I picked up my purse to leave, Keisatsu sauntered over and scooped up Alex's unconscious form with both arms. Natsuki quickly came over and looked Alex up and down, looking almost like a concerned mother. She then slowly brought her hand up and rested it on Alex's forehead with a relieved smile on her face. Watching this scene, I couldn't help but smile...
...And that smile was immediately snuffed out as Natsuki's expression changed to that of a solemn frown. She looked away and walked out the door alongside Keisatsu, me falling in behind them. As I looked over the rest of our group, I noticed that they all had that same expression of sadness and remorse.
The opportunity of saying goodbye to Shiro probably made them accept the realisation that their dear friend, Shiro, was truly dead. It wasn't long before the contagious feeling spread to me, and I felt the sadness that came with losing someone once again. But, this time, it was permanent.
'Shiro...' I thought. 'I'm sorry...'
"Don't blame yourself!" The sudden voice of Alex called out in my head.
Startled, I caught up with Keisatsu and looked at Alex, but nothing was any different. He was still asleep, just like he had been this entire time. I racked my brain, but there were no more words from Alex.
'Alex... thank you.'
*Five minutes later*
Our group travelled through the halls, our footsteps echoing down the empty corridors. There was no one around, despite the fact that all the clubs were still active. Well, all but the Literature Club, of course. All the clubrooms were located at the back end of the school, so it made sense.
I wanted to say something as we walked, try to lighten the mood somewhat, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Once again, the blanket of despair had fallen over our group, this time even heavier than before. However, even though the thickness of the feeling was enormous, a light of hope burned brightly within my chest.
It was strange. I felt a crushing depression on the outside, but I still continued to feel hopeful for the future. It was like all the hope in my body had been taken and moved to the center of my chest, all compressed into one small point. A pure, solid mass of hope that could overcome any despair.
This hope would drive me forward away from the chains that once held me back. I no longer dwelled on the past. I wanted to save what I had left. I NEEDED to save what I had left. Nothing would stop me from achieving my goal of getting everyone else to the end alive. Alex and I would save them. No matter what happened along the way...
*Ten minutes later*
There hadn't been enough space for everyone in one car, so we split into two groups where Keisatsu drove one car of people while another police officer drove the others. Natsuki, Sayori, Alex and I were with Keisatsu as the cars pulled up to Mc's house. Keisatsu quickly stopped the car and rapidly got out.
Alex's unconscious body sat limply between Natsuki and I, being only held in place by the seatbelt running across his chest. During the entire ride, Natsuki had been staring at Alex, concerned. I can't say I didn't feel the same, but I had hope that everything would be fine.
Keisatsu threw open the back door on my side and motioned for me to get out. I undid my seatbelt and crawled out through the door as Keisatsu leaned inside to retrieve Alex. Natsuki did the same on her side and I quickly joined her on the right side of the car, closest to Mc's house.
After a bit of fumbling, Keisatsu was able to maneuver Alex outside and closed the car door with his foot. He quickly carried Alex over to us and started towards the front door. We waited a few seconds for the others to catch up from the car behind ours and followed Keisatsu inside.
Ishi greeted us warmly as we entered, but it was quite obvious she was just desperately trying to cheer not only us, but herself up. Shiro had been living with us for almost a week, and he was like family to us at this point. To have him just die like that after so much... it must've broken her heart to hear that he'd died.
With Ishi's solemn greetings aside, Keisatsu, Natsuki, and I continued upstairs while the rest of our group followed Ishi into the living room. Before we split up, however, I stopped Sayori by placing my hand on her shoulder from behind.
"Everything's going to be okay. I promise." I reassured her. A small, hopeful smile creeped its way onto her face after I said that but was immediately snuffed out.
"How can you be so sure?" I could just barely see a tear rolling down her cheek as she said that, then she immediately turned back around and followed the others into the living room.
I stood there, shocked, for what felt like an eternity. After what was most likely only about three seconds, I brought myself together and went back to following Keisatsu and Natsuki upstairs.
As we entered Alex's bedroom, Keisatsu lumbered over to his bed and laid him on its surface. He then turned around and walked towards the open doorway, passing between Natsuki and I. Before he completely left the room, however, he made one last look back at the two of us and said:
"I'm going to go inform Kuro of his son's death. Don't leave the house until I get back." He then left without waiting for a response.
While I stared at the spot that Keisatsu had previous inhabited, deep in thought, Natsuki immediately turned around and darted towards Alex on the bed. After a few seconds, I also turned towards Alex and saw Natsuki sitting at the head of his bed, holding his hand and staring at his face.
As I looked closer, I could see a few tears dripping down onto the floor from her face. I walked over to the two of them and sat at the foot of his bed, looking at Natsuki's melancholy-filled eyes. She was clearly happy to have Alex safe, but the loss of Shiro made the feeling quite bittersweet for her.
"Everything is going to be fine, Natsuki." I told her. "As long as we don't give up-"
"Why shouldn't we give up?" Natsuki interrupted me, not turning her eyes away from Alex.
"What?" I was confused.
"We're fighting against people who have so much more power than us!" Natsuki cried, suddenly yelling. "They killed Shiro, so what's stopping them from killing us just as quickly?!"
There were tears in Natsuki's eyes as she screamed this out, letting her anguish fill the surrounding air. Something about her at that moment reminded me of something, but I couldn't quite remember what. Then, it hit me.
Natsuki, Sayori, and probably everyone else was going through what I went through shortly before taking Alex into my world. The hopeless feeling that came with losing those close to you... it was something Alex and I knew very well. Alex had supported me this entire time, pushing me to save my friends. Now, I had to repay the favour.
"Natsuki, is that truly what you want?" I asked her solemnly. Natsuki turned to me suddenly, tears still hanging in the corners of her eyes.
"W-what?" She sobbed.
"By giving up, we are admitting that we'd rather die than fight for what we believe in." I inspired her. "If you're already prepared to die, then don't die by giving in to those who want to hurt you."
"But Monika..." Natsuki whimpered. "It doesn't matter... we can't fight something like this. We can't make a difference..."
"Don't say that!" I yelled, startling Natsuki. "We made a difference back when you still lived under your father's foot, didn't we?! It seemed impossible to save you at that moment, but we all still pulled through in the end."
"I..." Natsuki couldn't find the words to express how she felt. She merely sunk her head down and stayed silent, hiding her face from me.
I found myself crying as well, remembering the absolute hopelessness I used to feel so very often. However, I pushed through. Hope lived on inside me, and I wasn't letting anyone else give it up.
"Natsuki..." I slid in closer and tilted her head up to see me. "Would Alex give up right now?"
Natsuki's expression changed to one of realisation, where it stood frozen for a few seconds. I kept my composure somehow and waited for her response. Then, suddenly, she began openly crying and the next thing I knew, she was clinging to me for dear life, keeping me trapped in a hug.
She continued to cry into my shoulder, to which I responded with putting a reassuring hand on the back of her head. I was again reminded of my first conversation with Alex, where he reassured me in a similar way. We stayed like that for a few moments before Natsuki finally got her composure and pulled away slowly.
"Thanks, Monika." Natsuki said quietly. "I really needed that."
"Don't worry about it, Natsuki." I smiled warmly at her.
"Hey, what did I miss?" A third voice suddenly joined in. Natsuki and I, both with shocked expressions, turned our heads to Alex and found that he had suddenly woken up. He had a smile on his face, like he was proud of his 'entrance'.
{Alex POV}
I laid on my bed, looking up at Natsuki and Monika with a goofy smile on my face after my humorous words. The two of them were looking at me with shocked expressions. This situation was at a standstill for a few seconds, just barely not long enough to make it uncomfortable. Then, finally, Natsuki frantically leaned over me and began to hug me as tightly as she could.
She clutched me as closely to her as she could, like I could disappear at any moment. She constantly cried how she was sorry and how worried she was, but none of it really made sense. All the while, Monika was laughing incredibly hard at the show in front of her.
Finally, after about five minutes, I was able to calm Natsuki down and get her off me. The two girls now sat in the edge of my bed, looking down at me with relieved (although strangely solemn) smiles. Then, I remembered, and I felt my eyes start to water.
"Shiro, is he really...?" I trailed off, not wanting to complete the thought. Monika looked a bit off to the side, lamenting.
"Yes, he's dead." She confirmed sadly. "I'm sorry."
I looked over at Natsuki, slightly shocked, and watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. Seeing as Shiro was a friend from her childhood whom she had just recently reconnected with. I placed my hand on her cheek in reassurance and gave her a warm smile, which seemed to help her a bit.
"So, do you mind filling me in on everything that happened?" I inquired, trying to loosen a bit of the tension. "I don't remember anything since... you know." As I finished that sentence, Monika's expression seemed to shift to one of curiosity, but I couldn't be sure at the time. After reading through Monika's recollection of what happened, I now know it was because I claimed to not remember what happened in the nurse's office.
*Five minutes later*
"-and that's about everything." Natsuki finished. "You caught up now?" I thought for a moment, then nodded confidently.
"Yeah, I think I got everything." I confirmed. "I still can't believe they got Shiro, though..." There was a short silence, making me worry that I brought the mood of the room down.
"Hey, am I interrupting something?" I voice from the doorway asked. We all turned our heads to the source of said voice to find Sayori leaning in, a somber frown on her face.
"What is it, Bun?" Monika inquired.
"Ishi wants us all in the living room." Sayori explained. "Her and Keisatsu thought up a plan earlier, and since Keisatsu is out right now, Ishi wanted to tell us about it."
"Okay, we'll be right there." Monika answered. Sayori took one last look at us, then left without changing her sad expression.
"I don't know how much longer we can go on like this." Natsuki said sadly as she stood up and left, not taking a single look back to make sure we were following. Which we weren't.
Monika helped me get up and sit on the bed but held me back when I tried to leave. I confusedly turned to her.
"What is it?" I asked.
"There's another problem." Monika explained. "But... only the two of us can know about it." She had a worried expression on her face, and I already knew where this was going.
"Does it have something to do with my coming to this world?" I questioned. Monika nodded.
"You could say that." She answered. "Do you remember what I told you about cross-sight visions?" I thought for a moment before responding.
"Because of the weakened walls between dimensions, things will sometimes change to match certain aspects of other dimensions. We have visions of these changes when they happen." I recalled.
"Correct." Monika nodded. "However, there's a problem with that."
"What's the problem?" I asked.
"The walls between dimensions have been recovering ever since the beginning of all this, but something has been bothering me." She told me. "I didn't just bring you here with no planning. The number of cross-sight events can be calculated, and I calculated there to be three cross-sight events after bringing you here."
"Wait, but that means..." I did the math in my head. "There's still one more left?" Monika nodded, but that was one thing I didn't want to be true.
"There's still one more change that we haven't encountered yet, and it will happen soon." She explained.
I took a few moments to process this new information.
'There's another change coming, which could throw a wrench into the already-broken situation we're in.' I thought. 'But, at the same time, there's no guarantee it's a bad thing, right?' In all the mental reassurance, I failed to notice a human shape had taken a spot in the doorway.
"Hey, aren't you coming?" Natsuki asked from the hall.
"Yes, we're coming." Monika answered, shaking me back to reality.
The two of us quickly got up and followed Natsuki into the halls, down the stairs, and into the living room. In there, everyone sat in their usual spots on the couches, while Ishi sat in her usual armchair, the other armchair obvious vacant due to Keisatsu's absence.
Natsuki, Monika, and I also sat down in our usual spots. I got a couple surprised stares, but no one said anything. As we sat down, I couldn't help but notice the now-empty spot on the opposing couch where Shiro used to sit. The sight threatened my tear ducts, but I held it back.
"Now, you're probably wondering where we could go from here." Ishi started, getting everyone's attention. "And the answer to that is... another country."
"What?!" Monika stood up.
"Monika, please. Just hear me out." Ishi requested. "After having a serious and thoughtful discussion, Keisatsu and I have decided that we cannot fight something like this without any help. Therefore, the best course of action would be to move you all to another place where they can't reach you."
"What do you mean, 'without any help'?!" Monika exclaimed, suddenly angry. "You have the entire police force on your side!"
"Yes, but these people have proven to be very secretive and we have no leads as to their whereabouts." Ishi explained. "We will be leaving tomorrow. Pack up whatever you need tonight."
I was stunned. Shocked. Utterly appalled. After all this, after all the suffering and hardships we'd gone through, we were just going to run? We fought so hard and come so far, only to put our tails between our legs and flee?
'No...'
Everyone in the living room was having a heated debate, everyone against Monika. I was too lost to join in.
'NO...'
I didn't want to give up. I couldn't give up. I WOULDN'T give up.
"NO!" I suddenly yelled, shocking everyone else in the room. "We aren't running."
There was a long silence, filled only by tension and disbelief. No one dared speak for a while, until Ishi chose to step up to the plate.
"Alex, what are you thinking?" She inquired. "It's the only way to survive."
"No." I stood up. "I'm not running away again."
"Again? What do you mean 'again'?"
"Alex, why are you so against this?" Natsuki asked, sounding scared.
"I'm not going to just run away again." I repeated myself. "Every time I run, I lose people."
Everyone looked incredibly confused, which was understandable. Not even I knew why I was saying this.
"Alex, Shiro's death didn't happen because-" Natsuki tried to say.
"I'm not talking about Shiro!" I suddenly snapped. "If any of you knew what I'd gone through, you'd be saying the same thing as me." I kept my head low, crying from the memories.
"Alex, we know EXACTLY what you have gone through!" Ishi was beginning to raise her voice. "Now, we are leaving tomorrow. If we don't, WE WILL DIE!"
"YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!" I yelled. "I've lost more than just Shiro. Before I came here, I lost people on a MUCH grander scale than ANY of you have!" There was another stunned silence.
"A-Alex, I-" Natsuki was once again interrupted, but this time by Ishi.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH!" Ishi screamed. "WHAT MATTERS IS THAT EVERYONE GETS OUT OF THIS ALIVE!"
I didn't even know what I was fighting for at this point, all I knew was that we COULDN'T leave. Then, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see it was Sayori.
"Alex... we have no choice." She cried. "If we stay here, they'll find us."
I was a bit surprised. Sayori was agreeing with Ishi? Then, as I took a long look around, I saw that everyone except Monika had the same look of hopelessness as Sayori. They all felt cornered. They all felt that running was the only way to survive. I brushed off Sayori and started towards the stairs.
"I'm not running away again." I said as I left. "I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees."
I then stormed up the stairs, down the hallway, and into my room. I slammed the door behind me and threw myself into my bed, screaming into the pillow. I understand that some may look at this as childish, but I didn't care. I was way too angry, sad, and so many other emotions to care.
Time passed, and nothing happened. It eventually got dark, but Natsuki never came to bed. For the first time ever since meeting everyone, I felt alone. I didn't want to run again. I wanted to fight for what was right.
My friends' deaths were caused by my cowardice to act.
My parents' deaths were caused by my self-pity.
And my sisters' death was caused by my carelessness.
"I..."
"I..."
"I-I'm s-sorry..." I sobbed.
End of Chapter 11 (Part 2)
(Author's note: Hey, guys. Did you miss me? Sorry for the delay again. With everything going on with the coronavirus, it took me a while to get the computer fixed. Anyway, I'm back, and I'll try to keep everything to regular uploads.)