Chapter 22: A trip to Earth.

John breathed a sigh of relief when he finally fell into bed, he had been up since 0600 hours that morning and had been on the go for the whole day. This morning he had been on Atlantis with Teyla and his friends and now they were at Dave's place for a few days vacation. After they had spent a few days at his brother's house they were heading to his beach house in Maui for a few days, where he and Teyla were getting married. He would then stay on with Teyla for their honeymoon, while the others went back to Atlantis. Dave and Jane had offered to take Torren off of their hands for a few days and Torren certainly seemed happy about that, as he loved being spoilt by his Aunty and Uncle.

It had been a week since the mission to the Henperian homeworld, and he'd spent most of it in the infirmary in total misery while he battled a massive infection. The bullet wound in his arm had very quickly become infected and within hours of being back on Atlantis, he had a raging fever and a massive headache. The next few days had passed in a blur, all that he remembered from that time was that Teyla was there by his side, but he had no idea whether anyone from his team was there or not. He didn't really care though, because all that mattered was his soon to be wife was with him.

It was only 19:30 hours and he was totally exhausted. He had only been released from the infirmary the night before, so Carson had told him that he may still feel tired, and he should sleep as much as possible. Considering he wanted to take Torren horse riding the next day, he had decided to go to bed early and get a good night's sleep. He had helped Teyla put Torren to bed half an hour ago and she had promised that she would be coming to join him shortly.

Dave, Carson, Rodney and Ronon were all sitting around talking and playing cards when he had headed off to bed and it appeared that they planned on being up for half the night. Jane had gone to bed, because she was feeling tired, which wasn't surprising since she was still getting severe morning sickness some mornings.

He knew that he shouldn't close his eyes just yet, as he was determined to wait for Teyla to come and join him, but it wasn't long before he felt his eyelids drooping and if he'd had some toothpicks, he would have used them to keep his eyes open. In the end, trying to keep his eyes open was impossible and he fell into a deep sleep.

The next time John awoke, he heard a strange sound beside him, he assumed that it was Teyla, so he snuggled closer, and it didn't take him long to realise that Teyla wasn't in the bed beside him. Stretching his hands out he touched something soft and fluffy, and finally, he worked out that it was a purring Puss snuggled up beside of him. So, if Puss was in his bed then where was Teyla?

Woolsey had allowed John to bring Puss back to earth when he'd insisted, providing that he was quarantined on the midway station. In the end, it was decided that Puss had picked up no deadly Pegasus galaxy parasites and he was able to accompany them back to earth.

Scanning the room, his eyes finally settled on his clock and he realised that it was only 2100 hours and he had only been asleep for just over an hour. He lay still wondering if he should go back to sleep again, but then he knew that he always slept better when Teyla was sleeping beside him, so he'd probably be awake in an hour again if he went back to sleep now. Finally, he decided to get out of bed and go to see what the others were up too.

When he arrived in the lounge room a few minutes later he wished he hadn't, as his friends were all sitting around looking at photos of him, and Dave was telling them stories about him from his childhood and what was worse was that Teyla was joining in. He stood opened mouthed wondering if anyone was going to notice that he was in the room, but they just kept right on talking and laughing.

He wondered whether he should go back to his room and forget about what he had seen, or maybe he should shout at them, for invading his privacy, but in the end, he decided that it was about time he opened up to his friends and let them learn a bit more about what had helped shape the man he was today; they had seen him as a ten-year-old recently after all.

"Whatcha doing?" He asked them casually, hoping that he didn't seem too uptight.

"Oh, hey Sheppard, Dave was just showing us some photo's from when you were young, I hope you don't mind?" Rodney replied and for the fourth or fifth time that week, he seemed positively nice, which was beginning to become a bit worrying. He made a note to himself to talk to him about it while they were away.

"I was just telling Dr McKay that you did not have all of the girls chasing you when you were in high school, despite what he may think," Dave told him with a smirk.

Putting his head down to hide the embarrassment that he felt at that comment, he tried hard to think of something to say that wouldn't embarrass him further, looking up at Dave he smiled, "thanks for setting the record straight brother, because for some reason Rodney seems to think that all of the women in the Pegasus Galaxy are chasing me."

Teyla blushed and looked up at him, "well, he does have a point John, I have heard women around the base talking about how handsome you are and how jealous they are that you were no longer available. And before we were engaged there was much talk on who was going to attract your attention first. I do not want to tell you everything I heard, because it is not exactly a conversation for civilized company."

"Really, I had no idea?" John said, feeling embarrassed again all of a sudden.

"Anyway," Dave said, "anyone for poker?" And John was immensely thankful that his brother had changed the subject.

"I think I will go to bed," Teyla replied.

"I'm in," Ronon mumbled.

"Count me in," Rodney added.

"I think I will head to bed as well," Carson stated with a smile.

John thought about staying for a hand of poker, but then he remembered how tired he was feeling. So without a word, he waved at his friends and headed back to his room. It was the room that he had stayed in when he was back on earth a few months ago recovering from the injuries inflicted on him by Klow and his buddies. These days he never thought much about what the ascended wraith had done to him while inhabiting Ronon's body because if he did, he would find himself getting angry. It was the ancient's stupidity that had led him to be injured by his friend's hand, although technically he knew that it wasn't really Ronon.

Five minutes later when he was in bed snuggled up to Teyla, he put everything that had happened to him over the last seventeen weeks out of his mind and much to his relief it wasn't long before he fell into a deep sleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

When Teyla awoke the next morning there was sunlight streaming through the bedroom window and although she had no idea what time it was, she suspected that she had slept late. Looking at the clock on the bedside table she realised that it was 0900 hours and if she'd been back on Atlantis, she would have been up hours ago. Puss was still in the bed beside her, but John wasn't, so she wondered what he was up too.

Getting out of bed and grabbing her robe, she wandered out to the kitchen and found that everyone, but Jane was there eating breakfast.

John looked at her and smiled and she was happy when he got up and guided her to a seat. "Oh, hey Sweetie, I didn't want to wake you, so I went and got Torren up and dressed and then I came and started to cook some breakfast."

"Pantates Momma!" Torren squealed showing her what was on his plate.

She smiled at the chaos going on around her, like the night before there were loud conversations and plenty of laughter, it was wonderful to see her friends so relaxed and having so much fun.

Her thoughts were interrupted when John put a cup of tea in front of her, "would you like some pancakes, Sweetie?"

"Yes, thank you Honey, and thank you for getting Torren up and ready this morning."

The truth is Torren was up at the crack of dawn shouting at the top of his voice, asking when we were going to ride the horses. I didn't want him to wake you, so I got him out of bed and brought him out here to watch some TV while I cooked breakfast." John told her with a smile, which didn't quite meet his eyes like it usually did.

She sensed that something was bothering John and she decided that when breakfast was over, she was going to take him outside and get him to tell her about what was bothering him. He had become much better at expressing himself over the last few months although she suspected that it was never easy for him.

"Momma when we see horseys?" Torren asked, bringing her back to what was going on around her.

"Very soon my darling."

"you tum Momma?"

The last thing she really wanted was to ride a horse, but she hadn't had the heart to tell John, but now she actually had an excuse, "I think that I will stay with Aunty Jane this morning as she is not feeling very well."

Before she had a chance to continue that particular conversation Rodney interrupted, "hey Sheppard, I'm coming to your apartment every morning for breakfast, I never knew that you could cook like this!" He yelled and he seemed way too excited for her liking.

"When Dave and Dad were ignoring me during my teenage years, I used to spend a lot of time in the kitchen with our house-keeper Ellie, so she taught me to cook," John replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "Speaking of Ellie, what happened to her when you moved to Atlantis Dave?"

"She is living with a friend of hers and she has decided to retire. I have asked if she would like to come and join us for dinner tonight though and she insisted that if she were going to come, she would cook a roast." Dave answered with a smile.

"Who's Ellie?" Ronon mumbled, looking up from his food.

"I've already told you several times on this trip that Ellie was our house-keeper when we were growing up and she was also the woman that looked after me and Dave after our mother died. That is when my father was too busy to do it himself. That was also before Dave became to busy to spend time with me. After Dave went into the business, I spent a great deal of my time with Ellie."

Teyla didn't miss the fact that in the last couple of comments that John had made, he had seemed angry at Dave and she suspected that there was still a few unresolved issues between them.

"John, would you like to take a walk with me?" She asked him, hoping that if they did, he would open up to her about what was bothering him.

"I'd love a walk, can I come to?" Rodney asked and as usual, he was oblivious to the fact that she may wish to spend some alone with John.

"Rodney how about you stay and help Dave and I do the dishes and then perhaps you can come for a walk with me and Ronon?" Carson suggested.

"But Carson I don't want to wash the dishes."

As usual, her patience with the scientist was beginning to wear a bit thin, "Dr McKay I would like to have a walk with John alone, so you cannot come!"

She could see the hurt in her friend's eyes, but she was sick to death of everything always being about him.

It was a few minutes before anyone said anything, but eventually, John spoke and broke the silence, "I would love to come for a walk with you Sweetie."

Teyla turned to Dave, who seemed to be pulling faces at Torren, "Dave would you be able to look after Torren for a while?"

"No problems, I'll do that while Rodney, Ronon and Carson wash the dishes."

At that moment, Jane came into the room and she looked terrible, "are you alright Jane?"

"I've felt better, but thanks for asking Teyla."

"John and Teyla were just going for a walk, but I can get you some breakfast if you'd like." Dave offered while guiding her to a seat.

"Just some tea thanks, Dave."

Teyla was grateful that the focus had been taken off of her and John, so she got up and left the room and hoped that John was following her, as she really needed to get to the bottom of what was bothering him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

John was relieved when he finally left the house, things in the house had become a little too intense for him and he was glad for an excuse to get out of there. Ever since he'd come back to earth to recover from the injuries that had been inflicted on him by Klow, he'd been thinking about his father and what had gone on before he had been thrown out of his home. The thing that bothered him the most though, was why had his father not bothered to contact him before he'd died and then there were the regrets, the biggest one being why hadn't he bothered to contact his father.

"John are you alright?" Teyla asked taking his hand as they began to walk around the property.

As John looked around him, the argument with his father that had led to him being thrown out all came back to him and it made him feel physically ill.

"John you are a disgrace to generations of our family, not only did you go into the military against my will, but you disobeyed a direct order from your superiors which led to you being court marshalled! You are no son of mine and you are no longer welcome here, so get out and don't ever come back! Get out of my sight, you disgust me, and I never want to see you again!"

His father had been so angry with him that day and there was nothing that he could say to the man. He had just turned away and headed to his room and packed a few things and quietly left the house without even bothering to say goodbye to his brother. He did find time to say goodbye to Ellie before he'd left the house though and he wondered if she ever knew what had really gone on between him and his Father that day.

Suddenly he felt dizzy and felt the need to sit down, a hand on his shoulder helped him to the ground where he took some deep breaths trying to come to terms with what had happened on that fateful day so many years ago.

A voice pervaded his fuzzy brain, "John do you need me to get Carson?"

"No, just give me a moment."

Sitting still on the grass he tried to catch his breath before looking up at Teyla, with tears brimming in his eyes, "this is where my father threw me out of the house and told me never to return. I thought that I had dealt with those feelings a long time ago but coming back here has brought them to the surface again."

"I am sorry that this place has so many bad memories for you John."

He smiled at her through his tears, "There's plenty of good memories too. Before my mother died, we spent a lot of time as a family out here."

"I would hope that you are creating some new memories here with your friends and family around you. I know that Dave is certainly glad to have you as his brother again."

John sighed, although things were good between him and Dave again, it didn't change the fact that he never got a chance to talk to his Father after the day he was thrown out and he regretted the fact that he never had a chance to say goodbye.

"I wish that I'd had a chance to talk to my Father before he died, maybe if I had, he may have been proud of the man I have become and what I have achieved over the last six years."

"We cannot go back and change the past John; all you can do is look towards the future and choose to believe that he would have been proud of the man you have become. You are a strong and honourable man who has always put others before yourself and if your Father could not see that then he did not really know you at all."

He knew that he had to try to lay this matter to rest before he went back to Atlantis and there was only one way he could think of doing it, "before I head back to Atlantis, I would like to visit my Father's grave. I haven't had a chance to do that before now and I would like you to come with me."

"I would be honoured to do so, but for now how about we head back to the house so that you can take Torren on his horse ride, as he has been talking about nothing else for weeks."

Nodding he allowed her to help him to his feet and he put his Father out of his mind for now, since now, he had his own son to create some memories with.

An hour later they were heading to the stables and Torren was talking nonstop about the horses. He was so excited to be able to go riding with his Daddy that he kept telling everyone else that he was going to have a ride on a horse.

"Are you going to ride Starlight, Dave?" John asked him with interest.

He thought that he'd take Torren on Suzie because although she was fast, she was incredibly gentle, "how about I take Suzie and then Torren can ride with me on the big saddle we used when we were kids."

"I was planning on taking Lucy, that way Torren can ride with me when he's had a short ride with you. I was also wondering if Carson would like to ride Strawberry?"

"Aye I remember her from the last time we were here, and she seemed to like me, so I'd love to ride her."

John turned to look at Ronon, who seemed interested in the horses that were in front of him, "how about you Chewie, have you ever been on a horse?"

"We had something similar on Sateda when I was a child and I always rode the biggest and strongest Jintal."

"Jintal?" Rodney asked with scepticism.

Ronon seemed to ignore Rodney, "so Dave which horse can I ride?"

"You can ride Chestnut; he should be strong and fast," Dave suggested.

"What horse can I ride, I don't want a strong and fast horse?" Rodney asked and John could tell that he was nervous.

"What's the matter, McKay, never been on a horse before?" John asked with a smirk.

"I remember riding on a few school camps, but other than that no I haven't."

"How about you ride Lady, Dr McKay? She's slow and gentle and I will even stay with you while the others ride on ahead if you'd like." Dave said soothingly and John was relieved that he'd offered to stay with Rodney.

He longed to feel the wind on his face and in his hair and experience the rush that you could only feel when your horse was galloping at full speed.

When they arrived in the stables John was happy to see that Ned, the old man who had looked after the horses for as long as he could remember, had already saddled the horses for them.

John watched Carson and Ronon mount their horses without too much trouble, then he stood back to see what Rodney would do and as he expected Rodney started to whine.

"How the hell am I supposed to get up on the horse? Can someone please help me please?"

John sighed, he thought about letting his friend work it out for himself, but then thought that he'd play nice and show him what to do, "Just watch what I do McKay and then try and copy me."

He slowly put his foot in the stirrup, pushed himself up and swung his leg over the horse, "see McKay easy."

A little voice spoke to him with impatience, "Daddy I tum up?"

John looked down at his son and saw the excitement in his face, but he really needed him to wait for a moment. "Just wait a minute T.J. I'll get Uncle Dave to help you up in a minute."

He watched as Rodney attempted to mount Lady and after about four tries he succeeded. It was probably a good thing that she was so sedate because if she hadn't been, Rodney could have been injured.

"Alright, now that Uncle Rodney is on the horse, T.J Uncle Dave can pass you up to me."

Dave carefully passed Torren up to him and he put his son in front of him and put his arms around him, "I'm going to ride with you for a short while and then when I want to take the horse into a gallop, you must go to Uncle Dave. Do you understand Torren?"

Torren looked at him with confusion, "gallop?"

"He means when he wants to ride fast," Dave informed Torren.

"Otay Daddy, we go now?"

"Sure thing T.J, now hold on to the knob at the front of the saddle and I'll walk you around the yard a few times."

John took Suzie into a slow walk, while Carson and Ronon took off galloping Chestnut and Strawberry. They had all arranged to meet by the lake at the edge of the property for a swim and a picnic lunch. John had told the others where to go before they'd left.

Dave was leading Lady around the yard with Rodney on her and poor Rodney looked worried.

John walked Suzie around the yard for about five minutes and he was pleased to see that Torren was enjoying every moment of it. Seeing the smile on his son's face brought back memories of the first time that his father had taken him on a horse, he had been six at the time and it was one of the most exciting things he'd ever experienced until that point in this life.

But now he was itching to take Suzie into a gallop and catch up with the others, "Dave can you take Torren now so I can take Suzie for a run."

"Sure thing, little brother, I'll ride Lucy today, she's gentle enough for Torren."

Once he was sure that Torren was safe, he took off at a run and it was exhilarating to feeling the wind on his face and in his hair. It had been a long time since he'd been on a horse and he remembered how much freedom it had brought him in his turbulent teenage years. Whenever he'd argued with his Father or Dave, he would take one of the horses out and ride for hours and he would only return to the house when he had managed to calm down.

The only thing missing from his day out was Teyla. She had decided that she would stay back and look after Jane who was feeling unwell again.

He galloped the horse for about five minutes, before slowing her down to a trot, he would go slowly for five minutes or so and then he would gallop all the way to the lake. The view was magnificent, he could see Paddocks with the horses in behind him and stretching out in front of him was the Chrystal clear lake, where he had whiled away many hours in his teenage years. Right now, he kind of wished he could find time to come here more often.

Fifteen minutes later he arrived at the lake and was surprised to find that Carson and Ronon were sitting under the shade of a tree with their eyes closed and he wondered if they were asleep.

"Hey, Chewie, Doc are you asleep."

There was no response, so he decided to tie Suzie up next to Strawberry and Chestnut and join them.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dave had been riding for twenty minutes and although Torren seemed to be holding on tightly, he still managed to talk about a whole heap of nothing. Luckily for the moment, Dr McKay was quiet. Although for the first ten minutes of the ride, he wouldn't shut up.

Right now, he wished Jane was with him because she could have ridden with Rodney and Torren. If Teyla had been along she could have ridden with them as well and then he could have taken off with the others and been enjoying himself in the lake by now.

He knew at this pace it was going to take him another ten minutes to reach the lake, but he had promised John that he would stay with Rodney and look after Torren, so that is exactly what he was going to do.

A voice from behind him interrupted his thoughts, "Hey what's this horse doing?" Rodney complained.

Looking back, he realised that the horse had decided to start trotting and Rodney was being jolted all over the place.

"Pull on the reigns hard and then she should stop!" Dave shouted as the last thing he needed was for Rodney to fall off the horse and injure himself.

Rodney tried several times and finally, he was able to reign the horse in.

"I did not like that at all!" Rodney yelled at Dave, "please don't make me ever do that again if I had fallen off, I could have really injured myself!"

"Don't worry Doctor McKay the lake is not far, can you see it in the distance? Even if we walk the horses it will only take another five minutes to get there then perhaps, we can have some lunch before we go for a swim in the lake."

"I definitely need to sit down," Rodney replied," that was just way too scary for me and my nerves are shot to pieces."

"You'll get no arguments for me I think I need to sit down for a while before I swim as well," Dave replied, before rolling his eyes.

"When lunch?" Torren asked out of the blue.

"As soon as we get to the Lake T.J.," Dave told him with a smirk on his face.

They walked along for another five minutes before they saw the crystal blue Lake in front of them. Looking around they were surprised to see that John, Ronon and Carson were fast asleep under a tree.

"Why do they need to sleep?" Rodney asked in a high-pitched tone," I didn't sleep well last night, and I have a very sore back from sitting on this horse."

"How about you have a sit-down and rest while I wake the others and get lunch. Then after lunch, I'm going for a swim?" Dave suggested soothingly.

At that moment, another voice joined the conversation, "hey guys you finally made it what took you so long?" John asked sarcastically.

Dave just scowled at his brother, there was no way he wanted to go into a long-winded conversation, about what had happened, on their way to the Lake.

"I'm hungry," Ronon mumbled joining the conversation.

"Aye me too, shall we get some food out and then I think I will continue my nap before swimming," Carson suggested.

Ten minutes later they were all sitting around on picnic rugs eating sandwiches and drinking sodas. The last three months had been hard on John, but Dave really hoped that things were getting back to the way they were when they were children. He watched his brother laughing and joking with his friends and he was proud of the man that his little brother had become. He knew that John had faced what seemed like insurmountable odds at different times in his life, which had made him into the father, husband, leader, and brother that he was today. And although he could have handled things differently in his teenage years, Dave wouldn't change the way things were now.

TBC…