Disclaimer: The Mad Doctor claims no ownership to the Kingdom Hearts franchise. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix.
Notes from the Mad Doctor: Greetings readers. Bet you're wondering how I am able to post so many chapters in such a short time. Truth be told, I started this story months ago and it's been sitting in my computer for awhile. Now that I've finally decided to post it, I've just been revising what I already have written before posting. But soon, the supply of ready chapters will dry up and the updates won't be as frequent so enjoy it while you can. Anyway, let's wrap up the flashback and then get back to the present. Enjoy!
Edit Note: This chapter has been edited to conform to this site's rules. If you wish to read the chapter as it was originally written, look this story up on Archive of Our Own.
Chapter 2: Guilt Revealed
Land of Departure, One Month Ago
Kairi ran toward the area where the Gummi Ships were parked. Since the Keyblade War, she had learned how to pilot them. And right now, she needed to get as far away as possible from the Land of Departure.
Heading for the Gummi Ship that belonged to her and Riku, she headed for the door and entered the security code to open it. But before she could enter, she heard a voice call, "Kairi! Wait!"
She stopped in the doorway and turned to see Riku, Donald and Goofy running toward her. They gave desperate looks of imploring to her.
"I have nothing to say to you, Riku. Not to any of you."
"Come back, Kairi. I know you didn't mean to say those things. Just apologize and then we can talk about it some more," said Riku.
"Apologize? For what? Not wanting to give up on finding our best friend just because everyone else wants to? I don't think so," said Kairi.
"We don't know what everyone's stance is on this. We didn't hear everyone's opinion," said Donald.
"They weren't exactly leaping to my defense either or believing me when I said I felt him out there. I could see it in their eyes. Everyone but me is giving up on him and that is unforgivable," retorted Kairi.
"It's not easy for us to do this, Kairi. We don't want to give up on him either. Sora's one of our best friends. It's just that there's other things that need to be taken care of. Terra, Aqua, and Ven need to pretty much start their lives over now since they've been gone for a long time," said Goofy.
"Axel too. And Roxas, Xion and Naminè need to adjust to finally being able to have lives of their own," said Riku.
"And we have families and loved ones back at Disney Castle that we haven't seen for a long time," said Donald.
"You can't blame them for that," said Riku.
"Normally I wouldn't. But not when it means that you're all going to go on with your lives and leave Sora all alone wherever he is."
"Kairi, please. After six months with nothing to go on, we may have to be realistic and stop hoping for what may be the impossible," said Riku although there was hesitance in his voice.
"Realistic? If Sora had that attitude, he never would have done the greatest things he ever did. Like when you were hiding from him when you were stuck in the form of Ansem. Sora would've gone through every world out there looking for you even though he had no real idea where to start. And you and the others can't even do the same."
Kairi turned around to lean against the doorframe. The tears began to drip faster.
"Don't you see, Riku? I've got to get him back. It's the only way to make it up to him."
Donald and Goofy were confused. Riku, however, was struck with horror. 'Oh no. Please not this.'
"What do you mean 'make it up to him'?" asked Donald.
"What do I mean? I'll tell you what I mean! My best friend, who means more to me than anything in the world, is gone and it was my fault!"
Riku, Donald and Goofy looked shocked at Kairi's last statement. "Kairi, what are you talkin' about? It wasn't…" began Goofy before Kairi interrupted.
"Yes it was, Goofy!" she screamed before continuing in a calmer voice but one that was still riddled with pain and hurt.
"'The fire that feeds Sora's anger.' That's what Isa, when he was Saïx, called me when I was being held in the Organization's dungeon. I hated the fact that they were using me to force Sora into doing what they wanted. Then when Riku gave me my Keyblade, I thought that this was my chance. A chance to be more than someone who needed to be rescued all the time. I wanted to be someone who Sora would be proud to have stand by his side and count on to keep him safe. And then what happens? I get kidnapped again and then a madman murders me to give Sora 'motivation'. Then when he comes to save me and I think everything is going to be okay, he has to trade his own life so I could come back to an unbearable life without him. So that's it. Sora's gone and it's all my fault," said Kairi.
Riku, Donald and Goofy were absolutely stunned. Throughout the months of Sora's absence, Kairi had not once indicated that she was feeling guilt over what happened. She had appeared to be okay. But now it appeared that she had been simply putting on a brave front to hide how she was really feeling.
'All that extra training and studying and throughout it all, seeming to be completely alright. How could I not have seen through it all when I feared she would blame herself?' thought Riku.
Kairi held up her hand and summoned Destiny's Embrace. "You know, I wish these things had never come to us and we wouldn't have gotten involved at all. That way, Sora would still be with us."
Kairi then tossed away her Keyblade and it landed at the feet of Riku, Donald and Goofy. They gazed sadly at it before it disappeared.
"Kairi, I…" began Riku.
"Just leave me alone, Riku. If I'm the only one who's willing to keep hoping for Sora's return, then I don't want anything to do with any of you. So tell Master Yen Sid that he's got one less Keyblade Wielder to worry about because I am out for good."
Kairi then entered the Gummi Ship and the door closed behind her. Once she entered the cockpit, she began the takeoff sequence and the Gummi Ship took off. Through her teary eyes, she gave a look of contempt to the Land of Departure down below.
'They may be able to move on with their lives without him. But I can't and I won't.'
Destiny Islands, Present Day
(In-Universe Music: Don't Think Twice by Utada Hikaru playing on Kairi's Gummi Phone)
The song on the Gummi Phone played on while Kairi continued to paint as Pluto watched her. While she worked, she mulled over the thoughts of those final moments with her friends. She wasn't even sure she could call them that anymore. Having spent the last month not only feeling guilty for what happened to Sora but for lashing out at her friends like that, there had been times when she considered calling them and apologizing. But until they admitted their own wrongs, she would withhold that apology.
Some of them had made attempts to talk to her over the last month either in person or through the Gummi Phone. But the moment the conversation turned to the subject of moving on, she would immediately dismiss them. Eventually, the attempts ceased.
Finally, she stopped painting. She stepped backwards and beheld the now completed woodcut.
It depicted a young man with spiky brown hair dressed in a black outfit with a young woman with red hair dressed in a pink outfit. They were gazing into each other's eyes and were holding each other's hands. A sunrise was behind them and a heart shape framed the picture.
"Well, Pluto, what do you think? Did I do a good job?"
The dog walked up to her side. He gave a look as if he was trying to comprehend what was in front of him. Finally, he gave a happy look and a happy bark.
In spite of herself, Kairi allowed a small giggle as she scratched the dog on his head. Though Mickey was not currently among her favorite people, she was grateful to him for sending Pluto to stay with her. He was a very good listener, a great comforter and he never told her what to do or how to feel.
"Do you think Sora will like it?"
Pluto once again barked in affirmative.
"I hope so too. I started this to help keep my hope alive. That he'd come back and then we would have so many moments like this," said Kairi before she fell to her knees sobbing. She put her right arm around Pluto. He nuzzled against her.
Wiping away her tears, she rose up and took off the smock. "Come on. I still need to write my letter and then we can go home."
After gathering up the paints, she then reached for the Gummi Phone. But then she stopped. Since her work was done and she wasn't speaking to her friends, she really had no use for it anymore. So, she left it where it was.
She then walked out of the Secret Place with Pluto following close behind. Before leaving completely, she glanced one more time at her work.
It may have started as a hope for the future. But, if she was being completely honest with herself, it may as well be a wish that would never come true.
Left behind, the Gummi Phone finished its song.
Notes from the Mad Doctor: Hope Kairi's not too out of character here. Personally, I think it's pretty believable how she's been acting given all that she's been through. We still got a couple more chapters before this adventure officially starts. Reviews are much appreciated. Stay tuned!