yall this chapter is a little sexual. b ready

Also I wanna thank anyone who reviewed I was working on it as fast as I could cos yall inspire me;; thanks so much it means the world

"You like me?" Alex was the one blushing this time, but Haruhi could feel something more going on with her. Alex's fingers were tangling themselves around the hair at the base of Haruhi's neck. Haruhi was shivering at the touch.

"Yeah. Alot. Like, I've never felt this way about anyone." Haruhi waited for a response but could only feel Alex's fingers twisting around more and more. "Alex, hello? Please say something, the silence feels kinda bad right now. You're supposed to be distracting me."

"I'm sorry I just don't really know what to say!"

"Well do you like me back or not? Because it has been a very confusing last few months! I can't tell if you're flirting or if this is just how girls are with each other or what, alright? Put me out of some misery!"

"I do like you! I do-" Haruhi thought her face might burn off. Alex's mouth was moving a hundred miles a minute but she barely managed to get any words out. "But wait what about the club? How are you going to pay back your debt hosting if you have a girlfriend? We can't-"

"No one has to know. We're good at keeping secrets, remember? This could be just for us-"

"I'm not a part of us, Haruhi! I-" Alex felt ashamed of herself, she was suddenly glad it was too dark to look Haruhi in the eye. "It's not that I don't find you attractive, or that I don't love you because I do actually. But I'm in no place to be making these decisions right now! I'm confused about what I feel and I'm a fucking mess and I could so easily do something so stupid and if we do anything I'm gonna end up hurting you and I don't want to hurt you!"

Haruhi pressed her forehead to Alex's, both of their flesh hot to the touch. "Then don't."

Haruhi was so close she could feel Alex's breath past her lips, she closed the distance once again after so long. Alex surprisingly sighed into the kiss for a few seconds, pressing her body against Haruhi and pulling her tighter, but she pulled away again.

"How am I not supposed to hurt you?"

Haruhi kissed her again, much gentler this time. "This doesn't hurt, does it?"

"Haruhi, even this! You're so innocent and it's not a bad thing but I can't be the one to take that from you! You deserve someone so much better!"

Haruhi felt bold under the sheets. "I don't think I could ever find someone better for me." Alex started letting go of Haruhi, shifting her way from under the blanket. Haruhi could finally see her face, streaked with tears in the moonlight.

"Haruhi, I can't do this to you."

Haruhi watched with wide eyes, trembling despite the heat still under the sheets as Alex turned to leave her room. Thunder clapped for the first time in a while and Haruhi let out a sob. "Alex!" Alex turned back to Haruhi, once again covering her eyes and ears, and went to comfort her. "Please, Alex." Haruhi knotted her hand in Alex's shirt to pull her closer. "Just for tonight."

Alex pulled the blanket over them again, this time assuming a pose similar to Kyoya's earlier that night. Haruhi pressed her thighs together as her insides stirred, this felt like a dream she was sure she'd had before. "This is really what you want? Just this?" Alex softly traced Haruhi's jaw. "This is all I can give you, Haruhi."

"Y-yes Alex. I want this."

Haruhi couldn't see through the darkness but a solemn smile crossed Alex's face as she knelt down and started trailing kisses around Haruhi's neck and collarbones. Haruhi started breathing heavy when Alex's fingers teased the edges of her dress. Alex stopped moving when she finished kissing the space of neck under her ear and behind her jaw and Haruhi's breath hitched feeling Alex's breath there. "Haruhi, tell me when to stop, okay?"

She failed to keep in a moan. "Don't."

"Get over it, Tamaki. You know they're right."

"Then what the hell were you doing with Haruhi?"

"I was trying to prove your point and be a good friend until I realized it was a stupid thing to support." Kyoya turned away from Tamaki toward the door.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"To apologize! We both owe them an apology. You know Alex wants to quit the club? I don't blame her with all the stunts we've pulled. We never take their protection seriously and then get upset at them for taking things into their own hands! How do you not see this?" Kyoya stepped back to him, and for once Tamaki was silent, just watching and listening. "You claim to be protecting them, but what have you protected them from, seriously? When have you ever been the one to save them? And you're blaming them for your own mistakes. Learn from it. Do something and be better."

Tamaki let out a single laugh and slumped onto Kyoya's bed. "When did you get so good with women, Kyoya? That was supposed to be my thing."

Kyoya followed suit and sat down next to Tamaki, who had crossed his arms behind his head and laid back. "I don't know. Alex probably. It's hard to be ignorant about these things when you watch her deal with all these things herself. And I don't want to keep watching her deal with all these things herself. I want to learn. You should too, Tamaki. Thinking you know everything is only a sign of ignorance. There's always more to learn."

"What do I do, Kyoya?"

"First things first, apologize. To both of them. Second, stop trying to control them so much. Maybe they know a little more about the things they've been dealing with their whole lives than you do. Just try listening to them once in a while, Tamaki. You'd think that one might come natural to the host king, but apparently not."

"Well, well Kyoya. Maybe you should start hosting and be a therapist-type or something." Tamaki sat back up when Kyoya turned to leave again. "Wait where are you going?"

"Like I said before, to apologize." Kyoya crept down the hall with his hand on the wall, no longer pretending to be sober. It had stopped thundering finally, just heavy rain continuing to batter the windows. Kyoya stubbed his toe along a side table in the hall and held it, whispering curses. He looked up when he heard one of the doors opening and saw Alex leaving Haruhi's room very quietly.

"Alex!"

She turned to him in surprise, with furrowed brows and pressed her finger to her lips. "Shh!" She closed the door as softly as she could before turning to him with crossed arms. "What do you want?"

"Alex, I came to apologize. I made a stupid stupid decision. But I was never going to do anything to her, I was foolishly trying to support Tamaki and i-"

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Kyoya."

"I know that! I know that, and I just fought with Tamaki about it, I think he gets it now."

"Mommy and Daddy had an argument. We know, we could hear you both. I don't know how Haruhi fell asleep through it all. She must be tired of you guys too."

"Alex," Kyoya stepped closer. "We're all sorry. Please don't leave. Me and Tamaki, we'll make it up to you however we can."

Alex looked down and adjusted her hair around the side of her neck, covering what Kyoya now noticed was a splotch of red and purple. "... what about our debt?"

"What about your debt?"

"I want it cut by half, both of ours. And Haruhi gets some money for her work too, she's doing work and its unfair that she doesn't make anything from it!"

"Done!"

"Wait, really?" Alex looked back up at him. "A-alright! We're good! But if you guys pull any of that shit again, I'm out and I'm taking Haruhi with me, got it?" Kyoya nodded. "You're wasted, aren't you? I didn't see you eat anything." He nodded again. "Well are you gonna share, or what?" Kyoya and Alex shared a smile and he stumbled back to his room, glad to see Tamaki had left. He grabbed the decanter in the room and the two glasses in one hand before jogging back to Alex and following her to her room.

Alex curled up onto a loveseat, watching Kyoya pour the drinks in the crystal glasses. "Fancy! I don't know that I've ever drank anything in the proper way."

He took the seat next to her and passed her a glass, seeing the bruise on her neck once again when she drank. He reached out and rubbed over it with his thumb. "Did they do this to you?"

Alex choked and set down her drink. "Mm. No, no it wasn't them."

"What happened?"

"I um." Her face turned dark red and she pulled her knees to her chest. "I did something to Haruhi. Something bad."

This time it was Kyoya's turn to choke. He spat the words in between coughs. "You what?"

Alex started laughing uncontrollably. "We just... We did stuff! And it was a huge mistake! I just did that and left her and I don't know what more she's expecting of me but have you seen me? I'm a fucking mess I should not have been given someone's innocence on a platter, but here we are! I'm trying to do my best with the cards I've been delt but..." She took a swig of the drink. "I guess I fuckin' suck at poker."

"Mistake? So you regret it?"

"I mean... I enjoyed it of course she's beautiful and a wonderful person and in a perfect world I'd be in love with her too, but I'm not. And I shouldn't have taken advantage of that."

"You think she could have taken advantage of your self-sacrificing behavior?"

"It's Haruhi. I don't think that's it. Thanks though, Freud." She took a long sigh and spoke just above a whisper. "Sorry to make you play therapist but I think you're still the only one who knows about all my stuff. And I really really hate myself right now."

He put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. In a surge of liquid courage he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Don't be sorry, Alex."

A few minutes later, just curled up together on the couch, Alex's eyelids dropped lower and lower and she fell asleep. Kyoya gently slid her into his arms and carried her to her bed, pulling the sheets over her and kissing her forehead.

The next morning as the hosts packed their things into their car, things were much more subdued than before. Tamaki still couldn't make eye contact with Haruhi and Alex but no one was as aggressive as the last night. Haruhi found little excuses to brush Alex's arm or touch her hand accidentally and each time, Alex stiffened up instantly. Though, Alex did seize Kyoya's bag and gather all the pictures of Haruhi.

"I deserve these."

Haruhi could tell something was wrong on the way home. Alex was just about silent the whole way back and didn't say bye to her. She didn't hear from her at all until school the next day, where Alex was still very quiet whenever Haruhi tried to talk to her. Haruhi silently cheered to herself that they were being released early. And when the twins were distracted by potential customers, Haruhi cornered Alex.

"Alex, we need to talk."

Alex's eyes grew large and her lips formed a frown but she stayed silent, letting Haruhi take her by the hand into a secluded office without much resistance. "Please talk to me, Alex. I know something's up and I can't stand this."

Alex slumped into a nearby armchair. "I feel like shit, Haruhi."

"Why do you feel like shit?"

"I did a shitty thing!"

Haruhi's face contorted in anger. "Are you saying what we did was shitty? Did I really disgust you that much?"

"I disgust myself Haruhi! It has nothing to do with you!" Alex sat forward and pointed to her own chest.

"No it has everything to do with me! You're just like Tamaki! You only see me as some pure innocent Angel but I'm not!"

"I am nothing like Tamaki!"

"Oh of course not, you're just in love with him!" Haruhi shouted a little harder than she'd meant to, but the tears starting to fall from her eyes didn't give her much choice.

Alex didn't say anything more, just sat and stared at Haruhi. "I didn't want this for us, Haruhi. I told you, you deserve better."

"You don't know what the hell you want, you're insane! What, did you black out again that night? Did some voice tell you kiss me back?"

Alex finally emoted, eyebrows knitting together. The words hurt. "Haruhi, I'm sorry-"

"Forget it!" Haruhi shut her eyes tightly, willing the tears to go back in but they wouldn't. She turned and ran from the room, leaving Alex there alone. Haruhi kept running down the halls, doing her best to wipe away the tears so that no one could see, but anyone who looked at her face would be able to tell how hard she was crying. Unfortunately she ran into Tamaki, who grabbed her shoulders and forced her to stop and look at him.

"Haruhi, what's wrong?" His voice was softer than she'd ever heard it before. She still wouldn't look up at him. "You're still upset with me aren't you? I understand. I haven't apologized yet and I needed to, that's on me. I'm so sorry about before and I'll do everything in my power to restore your confidence in me, as your father-" She finally glared at him from the side and he smiled. "-as a friend, then. I'm sorry, Haruhi."

He pulled her into a hug and she finally let out a sob, wrapping her arms around him as well. Around them she could hear a crowd of girls squealing at the boys-love of it all, but she didn't look up still.

"Haruhi, why don't you take a break from hosting today? We could use some supplies." Tamaki slid cash into her pocket. "Take as much time as you need, and keep the spare money. I'll let Kyoya know I sent you on an errand, alright?" He let her go and she looked up at him with a nod.

She wiped one more tear away and smiled. "Thank you, Tamaki."

And Haruhi did take her time, strolling through the aisles at the supermarket, examining the new brands. Of course her mind wandered to Alex and remembering that night, wondering what she did wrong or if there was anything she could have done. After a few hours had passed, and Haruhi's eyes were no longer puffy and red, she made her way back to the club with groceries.

Not looking where she was going, she tripped over something or other but was caught by someone much larger than her. A tall woman gracefully stood her back up. "It would be a shame if any harm came to that cute face of yours, young lady."

Alex jumped at the sound of Haruhi shutting the door behind her. After a few minutes of silence, sitting alone in the office, she noticed her hands were shaking. She fumbled into her book bag and whipped out her phone, struggling to dial Kyoya's number.

"Alex?"

"Kyoya I fucked up. I fucked up again."

"What are you talking a- is this about Haruhi? You can't take it so seriously-"

"I'm a piece of shit Kyoya! I try to pretend I'm not but you should have seen what I did to her! She trusted me Kyoya!"

"You didn't commit some carnal sin, Alex. Stop thinking that! Where are you?"

"I don't know, man! She took me into this office it's by my classroom I think-"

"I'm on my way. Don't move, Alex. I'm serious if I find a mark on you-" A nervous smile crossed Alex's face. She hadn't even had the idea yet. Her eyes crossed over the room, looking for anything with potential. She ripped open a desk drawer and started rummaging through it. "Alex what's that sound? What the hell are you doing?"

"Alex!"

Kyoya burst into the room just as Alex caught a hold of a letter opener. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the wall. "Drop it."

She was breathing heavily, her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open. Her eyes darted back and forth from his own and the wall behind him. Finally she broke, letting go of the letter holder and falling into his arms in sobs she mumbled. "I wanna die, Kyoya."

He did nothing for a while but hold her until he could hear people outside. He took her by the hand and walked her to the clubroom where guests were beginning to arrive. "I'll be right with you, ladies."

Kyoya took her into a smaller room in the back, examining it to make sure it was clear of anything potentially dangerous.

"Kyoya?" He turned back to her in a snap to see her fiddling around with her hands. "Why are you doing all this for me?"

His eyes fell to the floor and he shoved his hands into his pockets. "I think you're a good person, Alex. I think you have a really hard time seeing that over hating yourself so much. I think I'm lucky to have you confide in me about these things even if you didn't want me to know at first, and I'm sorry about that, but I can't let you hurt yourself or hate yourself. I need to do something about it in any way that I can, and I want to do more but for now this is it."

"Kyoya," Alex closed the distance between them, nuzzling his chest with a tight hug. "Thank you, for understanding. For everything. I can't thank you enough."

"You'll thank me by keeping yourself safe. I have to go now, but I'll be back soon. Do you want anything? I can have Honey bring you some sweets."

"No that's fine I don't want to put anyone out."

"You're not putting anyone out. I'll have him in after the first round." Alex finally smiled and watched him leave. She strolled around the room, what appeared to be a small office. There were photobooks of Alex and all the hosts, costumes on racks and binders on binders on binders. Alex slid into the seat on the desk. On the desk sat a photograph of the host club, they all looked very young, all but Honey and Mori wearing the middle school uniforms. Alex took a picture of the twin's bowl cuts and set it as the lock screen of her phone. She sat back in the chair and started flipping through one of the binders. Half an hour later a knock sounded on the door. Alex perked up once again.

"Honey! You didn't have to-"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Alex." Tamaki's head peaked in along with a tray of some of Honey's select sweets. "Though Honey assured me these were all some of your favorites."

"What are you doing in here?" Alex couldn't make eye contact with Tamaki.

"I wanted to, needed to apologize to you, Alex. I apologize that it's taken me this long to get the chance as well, but I have to tell you I'm sorry for before. Everything from before." He set the tray of sweets on the desk and knelt in front of Alex, gently taking one of her hands. She finally locked eyes with him and he smiled. "I want to make it up to you, in any way that I can. I need to do whatever I can to regain your trust. Kyoya told me he's learned from you, and if you'd do me the honor I'd like to learn as well."

He waited on his knee, watching her face and waiting for any signal of reply for what felt like an eternity. She sighed and squeezed his hand. "Yeah. Fine Tamaki, I forgive you."

Tamaki jumped up and hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Alex's face turned pink and she started giggling. "Alright, alright! But you're on thin ice, king. Think of it like a probationary period or strikes or something. Okay?"

Tamaki released Alex from the hug, holding her shoulders tightly still. "Of course! Thank you, Alex! I won't let you down." He let her go finally and jumped up. "I have to go now but Kyoya said you can stay in here for as long as you'd like, okay?" He grabbed her hand to kiss once again, winking up at her, and left the room. As soon as he did she blew air from her nose and spun around in the chair. The butterflies in her stomach kept her from even looking at the tray of sweets set out for her.

Eventually she stopped spinning, leaning on her knees in the chair and feeling more tears come out. She clawed at her face to rub them away and mumbled to herself. "God, I'm fucked up. I'm fucked up."

She wiped her face with her sleeve in a last attempt to soothe herself into looking semi-presentable before finally stepping out back into the main club room. The club was empty bar the host club and a group of girls in a strange uniform. Even Haruhi was there, and suddenly Alex was hesitant to rejoin the club.

Haruhi was serving them all coffee, and they were eating it up and calling her maiden, and Alex had to approach.

"Ah!" The tallest one with short dark hair stood in surprise. "Another precious maiden here!" She approached and swept some of Alex's hair behind her ears. She stood incredibly close and Alex's face flushed again. "Darling, your eyes are puffy. Who's done this too you?"

Alex stiffened when the woman swept her into her arms, holding her princess style and bringing her to the couch with the other girls.

"You stop that!" Tamaki's familiar boisterous voice rang out. "Can't you see there's nothing to be gained in a romantic relationship between two women? If that were the case, then why did god create adam and eve?"

Alex snapped at Tamaki from her seat, watching with just a little delight when he burned himself on some of Haruhi's piping hot coffee. "Thin ice Tamaki! Watch it!"

Alex looked away when Haruhi tended to Tamaki's burn, as the tall woman from before took hold of her chin. "I take it you understand the ways of our sublime female love, maiden?"

"I-I do."

"And these boys, these swine. They don't understand you, not like we do."

"I don't know if I'd say that-"

"It would be best to remove you from this place before these men taint you with their filthy hands-"

"What do you mean?"

"A woman remains pure if she is only touched by another woman. We are superior-"

Alex pulled away from the woman. "Then I'm not pure. I've been with and enjoyed both-"

"We're sorry to have bothered with you, then." The woman stood up from the couch she and Alex shared. "It seems the lovely Haruhi is the only one worth saving here."

None of the hosts knew what to respond to, the woman insulting Alex or Alex talking about her sex life. The tall woman sauntered back to Haruhi, once again tracing her jaw with a gentle touch. "This young maiden's had a long day. We'll give you some time to think about joining us, hmm? We'lll come back for you answer tomorrow." Haruhi's cheeks dusted pink and she put her hand to replace where the woman's had been on her cheek as she watched them go. She refused to turn back and look at the club. Even Alex stood up and reached out to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, but Haruhi shook her off, still refusing to look at her.

"I better be going. I've got some thinking to do."

Kyoya and Alex sat off silently to the side as the rest of the hosts brainstormed ways to make Haruhi stay.

"She likes freebies, right? Alex, poor people can't say no to freebies right?" Tamaki squeezed her hand. She smiled and nodded politely and he jumped back up. "Alright! What can we make as a freebie?"

"Kyoya?" Alex whispered to Kyoya, looking up from his little black notebook. "Is it my fault? Haruhi leaving?"

"Of course not. Stop blaming everything on yourself."

"She called me crazy, Kyoya. I am crazy. I'm fuckin' certifiable. I wouldn't blame her."

"Alex, I'm gonna duck tape your mouth closed if you keep saying things like that."

Finally she smiled. "Kinky. I gotta say I'm not surprised that you're into BDSM."

Kyoya had to laugh, shoving her face away playfully.

"Do you both take this as a joke? Haruhi might be leaving us!" Tamaki shouted to them, now standing up. "I have an idea and I need you both to help me execute! Alex? Are you any good at makeup?"

They worked for hours after most clubs had already gone home, the twins were calling up their mom for costumes and wigs and having Alex practice makeup on Tamaki. A few minutes into the practice, Alex had finally gotten over sitting so close to Tamaki and pretty much studying his face from inches away. He had certainly proved his idea that one is more beautiful the closer they are viewed. And well, the butterflies were still there but she was keeping composed decently enough. She was contouring his face at the moment, gently sweeping the brush under his cheekbones and jaw.

"You know Tamaki, it never ceases to amaze me the lengths you'll go through to make someone happy. It's very sweet. And you being comfortable in drag should surely ease some of that toxic masculinity of yours, though your brand is a little different from the norm."

Tamaki smiled. "I appreciate that, Alex. Thank you for helping me do this. And for giving me another chance. I won't let you down."

"Of course not." Alex sighed. "It's a tragedy but I'm gonna need you to keep your eyes closed for a bit, okay? Keep talking if you want, let me know if I'm hurting you."

"You could never." Alex was now glad his eyes were closed so he couldn't see her cheeks turning pink once again. "Say, Alex. Are you and Haruhi fighting over something?"

"No, it's nothing."

"Are you sure? You girls are usually so close. I actually get jealous of it from time to time."

"Jealous, huh? Of what exactly?"

Tamaki laughed nervously. "You already know. How close together you guys sit, even with the twins. Almost on top of eachother. I want that kind of physical contact, too."

"Alright, well keep working on yourself and we might let you in soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

The next day, Haruhi still wouldn't look at Alex or the twins. They were worried Haruhi might not even come back to the club at the end of the day, but still they dressed in drag and sat in wait for Haruhi and the girls from Lobelia. The hosts were all dressed to the nines in extravagant dresses according to their respective colors, with long curly wigs all matching their hair color, save for Mori and Alex. Alex didn't want to lose out on the fun, so she faked some stubble on her jaw, wore a short red wig and muscle suit under her costume so that her breasts would be mistaken for (giant) pecs.

Finally, the club rooms doors opened and the hosts began their performance for Haruhi. Honey and the twins started chasing her around the room as Tamaki explained his "freebie campaign", host club brothers and sisters all in one. Haruhi fell to the floor, laughing so hard she was crying. She wiped away a tear. "I knew you guys were goofballs, but come on! What's gotten into you guys?"

Alex stood forward, offering Haruhi a hand to lift her up. Haruhi looked up at her and pressed her lips into a line, willing no more tears to fall.

"Haruhi, we don't want you to leave us."

Haruhi took Alex's hand and in a flash Alex pulled her into a tight hug. "Haruhi, I'm so sorry... so sorry."

"Well?" The tallest girl stood forward again, hands on her hips and glaring at Alex. "Have you made a choice, maiden?"

"Yeah." Haruhi turned to face her. "I'm sorry but your club's not for me. I think the idea of a girl's school is great, and your views are certainly interesting but I'm at this school because I want to be here. I appreciate your offer, but I was never really going to leave Ouran academy."

Tamaki bombarded Haruhi this time, questioning her anger from before, but Alex was busy staring down the tall woman. Alex took a step forward.

"I don't know what your problem is, but sex is sex and holding yourself above me for never having touched by a man only makes you a hypocrite for feeling the need to replace one." Alex stepped even closer so that she could whisper into the woman's ear. "And I can still make better love to a woman. You should have heard her moan my name."

"You're repulsive!" The woman scoffed and stepped backwards. "This isn't over! We're not going to give up on you, maiden. I swear this to you. Some day we'll come rescue you from this place! And when we do, we'll abolish this host club!"

Alex smugly waved goodbye, fluttering her fingers at them before joining the rest of the hosts in welcoming Haruhi back. She knew they weren't okay yet, but it was a start.

AAA! I'm sorry I'm tired. And the love triangle/square/pentagon is set! Will I be able to juggle it all? Probably not! But I will try!

Also I pretty much wrote the entire fic because I thought about how tender of a scene it would be to b with haruhi during the storm, so it's finally down. Anyways, let me know how you guys think it's going so far! PLEASE REVIEW!