The next few days he would mostly stay in his room. Glooming over the fact, that he had been a major asshole. He never liked being controlled but was able to somehow let Dylan lead. Even though he wanted to be the person the others would look up to and come for assistance. The constant hiding for two years wasn't taken well either. He had wanted to perform so badly. His ego and showman had taken over and led to the worst-case scenario. Sure, Dylan was kind of at fault too for not realising that Thaddeus Bradley would reveal his identity, but it would only have been half so bad, without Daniel giving all the information about his Teammates away to Walter and Arthur. They only would have had to deal with Octavia and the FBI if it hadn't been for him.

Dylan occasionally brought food into Daniels room. Him and the others thought that Daniel needed some time for himself to recover. Not suspecting there was more bothering the showman. In the morning Daniel got out of his room for a change and walked down the stairs. It seemed everyone was out and so he made his way to the study. The room was filled with pictures of well-known magicians and young Dylan with his father. He liked looking at them. Ignoring the pressure building in his chest out of shame. He sat down at the couch beside the curtain and took a picture into his hand. The wooden frame felt cold in his hands. He smiled at the picture. It showed Lionel Shrike standing over a magic trick set and a tiny Dylan looking at his father with utmost aw. Daniel liked looking at this specifically because he would also have the exact same expression when seeing Lionel Shrike.

More upset than when he came down, he made his way into the kitchen. He couldn't bring himself to get something to eat but he could at least drink a glass of water. An open book on the kitchen counter got his attention. It had a picture of a seemingly floating women. Over the picture it said: Levitation. Was this for the next show Dylan planned? He took the book and walked into the living room. Sitting on the couch he flicked trough the book. Some pages had scribbling on it, which he couldn't identify at all.

Otherwise he recognised the trick. He did this once with Henley, when she was his assistant. The trick itself was quite easy, the only problem was the right angle. When someone looked from the side, the possibility of seeing the metal bars was there. So, this trick would only be possible with an audience in front. It would be fun to do this trick with Lula. While Jack would be in front ranting about his girlfriend floating away and Merritt covering his back. He would be able to lift Lula on the bars and …

Sigh…

He felt his mind wander. He didn't even know if the others would let him on stage again. Not just because he is recovering right now but also because he probably lost their trust after his mistake in Macau. He sighed again, running a hand trough his hair. Why was he so blinded by his ego? He didn't see Dylan do every possible thing to help his Horsemen. Daniel realised once more that he must have hurt Dylan quite a bit. He didn't just shove him away but also let him experience the death of his father once again. He just couldn't get over the fact of hurting his most loved person and his teammates.

He would even call them family if it weren't for his mistakes and self-loathing believing they might hate him.

The next sigh was followed with a comment by a concerned voice of the youngest male Horsemen. "Danny? Is everything alright?" He shot up from looking into the book he was still clenching onto and saw Jack frowning in front of him. Lula was sitting beside him shifting her look between him and the book. "O-oh hi, didn't hear you guys coming home…" Daniel tried diverting from the question, he did not want to answer. "We just came inside." Merritt walked over from the kitchen with a glass whisky in his hand. "You were pretty engrossed into the book Dylan has been reading for the past days." – "He has?" Excitement thrilled through Daniel. That meant Dylan had a plan. And a trick for the show at that. Jack didn't let up from his question and started "Are you better?", pointing at Daniels stomach "You haven't been eating well for a while and… uhm… this is the first time you came out of your room. After…uh…" he went silent.

"I'm fine" Daniel automatically uttered. Snorting into his glass of Whisky the mentalist commented "Hard to believe after hearing you sighing for the past 10' minutes we were here. What you didn't even notice, staring absentmindedly into the book. It doesn't need someone like me to figure out something's bothering you."

"We know that you're still healing from your wound, but Dylan said you still wouldn't eat right." Lula looked at him worried. She was all fidgety trying not to say anything wrong. She thought that it wouldn't be good to remind Daniel of Macau. She had a feeling he was not over it yet and thinking he was at fault.

"Its nothing. I can handle it by myself." Daniel thought Woman's intuition was scary because he knew what she thought. It was written over her face.

Merritt had enough. Without thinking he burst. "If you don't wanna tell us I'm gonna hypnotise you! Do you even recognise that we are worried about you? Or are this much of an asshole to not see?" Under his breath he added: "We all saw what happened the last time you thought you can handle things alone!" This was the last drop. The barrel of Daniels emotions and self-loathing overflowed. More than ever his chest clenched, and he couldn't say a word. If he were alone, he surely would have broken down. Instead, he stood up, wanting to yell at Merritt but words stuck in his throat he just looked away. He started shaking and clenched his fist. Merritt knew he had overdone it. But he couldn't figure out if Daniel was furious or frustrated.

Lula glared at Merritt. "Daniel…" *sigh* "We don't believe that it was your fault…" – "N-No, he is right. I did screw up. E-Everything that happened was my fault!" He was pissed to hear Lula's guarded voice. As if she thought he could break if she wasn't careful! "Because of me Walter was able to get the information about us. Because of me we landed in Macau and almost died. Because of me Dylan was confronted with his father's death. Because of me he… h-he almost d-died." The last words came only as a whisper.

„Guys, I got it! It's perfect. We can start training as soon as Daniel's up at his feet …" Dylan halted at the door when he saw Daniel standing head down in front of the other Horsemen. He focused on Daniel. Mildly absorbing the surroundings with Lula fidgeting on the couch, Jack directly in front Daniel looking unhappy and Merritt beside Jack looking regretful.

On Daniels face was… anger? No, … maybe…. Well at least a bit anger but not at the others. It didn't look like it. There was also another emotion. Hidden under the frowning and the glaring eyes.

Dylan made his way to his showman. Slightly pushing Jack and Merritt out of the way. He grabbed Daniels arm and already felt the electric pinch flowing up his arm.

The younger flinched at the sensation, which would always happen when they touched. The anger faded of his facial features and was replaced with sorrow. Dylan could see it in his eyes. The sapphire blue eyes didn't seem strong and straight forward anymore. The blue seemed to fade and become frail.

They stared directly into each other's eyes. None thinking of breaking away first. But Daniel felt like Dylan looked him into the soul. Seeing what he buried deep inside. Not only to not worry his friends but also to protect himself from breaking. There was more hidden in J. Daniel Atlas than it gave the impression.

Not sure of what to do Daniel ripped his arm out of Dylans grip, mourning the warmth it had given him.

„So, whats the plan? When does training start?" Trying not to stutter or sound weak in any way, Daniel tried to pinch his voice in an excited way. Not really working well thought. „Whats the matter Daniel?" Such a calm and gentle voice was rare. Normally Dylan spoke with a strict voice.

Again. For Daniel it felt like the others tried to be… cautious. Like he wasn't strong enough to be treated like a Horsemen. „Stop treating me like a child!" Anger returning to his eyes, as he spoke. All that he hasn't been able to say before and sadness turning to anger, he burst.

„Do you guys think I can't see you treating me like fragile piece of glass?! What the hell´s wrong with you guys?"

„We try to be considerate of your current state Daniel! We are worried about our friend! We already discussed this at the clinic. Why are you bringing it up again?!"

„That has nothing to do with it! I don't need a second father pretending he cares about me! "

„I've had enough! I really tried to be considerate of your current state but don't you dare imply on us, we only pretend to care!"

"I-I , That's… That's not how I meant it… I know you guys care but…"

"No buts. Since you came here you haven't been eating right! Just like before you let yourself go. Tell us what's bothering you so we can help you Daniel!" The air inside the room was heavy. Daniel and Dylan would sometimes argue about little things, but it was never so personal. The argument seemed to calm down because Daniel knew they just meant it good. But Dylan couldn't bear the silent from the younger and pushed: "I don't want it to end like last time…" He wanted to remind Daniel of being shot at, but Daniel took it another way. For him it was digging out his faults again.

"For fucks sake! Leave it alone already!"

"I won't! We need to talk about it. You can't think I forgot what happen!"

„That's not how I meant it! I know I fucked up, but you don't have to slam it in my face at every OPPORTUNITY! GOSH! It can't be so hard to understand that I wanna be LEFT ALONE!"

"If you wanna be LEFT ALONE then you are in the WRONG PLACE HERE!"

"THEN MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE HERE!"

„IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT, THEN FEEL FREE TO GO!"

„FINE!"

„FINE!"

Storming out of the room and up into his room, the living room had a heavy air. Daniel rushed over his things, packing a backpack with only necessities. Not even wanting to be close to them right now he decided to go out the window. Cold air flushed the room as he opened it. The before sunny day had turned into a stormy thunder. Halting one last time at the edge of the slippery porch he looked back. Inside his room he looked at the cozy armchair he eventually wanted to sit in and plan new tricks. „Not gonna happen now, I guess…" *Sigh*

The rising thunder drowning out his echoing footsteps. He slipped down the roof into the dark alleys.

~ End of chapter four