VII
"James Bond, my ass! This is Don Quixote and Sancho Panza!" the Devil whined, more to himself than to anyone else, contemplating the rather large nutbrown belly of the creature wobbling on a stubborn grey beast behind his afanc. A donkey would have been less obstinate with its owner. They barely advanced and the daughter of Lilith was already so annoyed, he had sent her scouting around on the way ahead so she wouldn't slay the rather large lavellan and roast it for dinner. If that happened it would mean he needed to compensate Bufo or worse, letting him sit on his rodent.
The hood of his padded jacket under his coat deeply drawn into his face in order to shield himself from the sharp, wailing wind and reproaching himself for this endeavor, he looked forward to getting to the next dwelling. He should have flown. Alone. But was done, was done.
Anyhow, he was not chasing windmills but a very real adversary. He needed to get his claws around Dromos' neck. ASAP.
The route to the cold regions of Hell was annoying, not only because there was a constant draft about the ice cold river on their left that meandered toward the frozen lake while the hillsides served as gateways for the ashy air that blew soot particles into the fur linen of his hood, but because there was no civilization so to say. For Hell that meant scarce dwellings of lower demons which merely subsisted on shrub fire, fishing and gathering. For all he cared it could have been called 'Alaskan Excursion', unfortunately not in the fun way - on a cruise ship with showgirls, dancing and midnight buffets included - but rather similar to an Iditarod trail. No real roads, no comfortable inns, no inflight entertainment. Cocytus was the place where traitors were traditionally being punished if you wanted to believe Dante and Milton. The perfect place to make an example of Dromos.
Bofo finally won the battle against his lavellan and caught up with the Devil and his hounds. The water rat did not like them nor their smell but if the amphibian looking demon was to lead his lord he needed the animal to obey.
xxxxx
"My Lorrrd Luciferrr! We will rrreach our first rrresting place ahead of these rrrocks over therrre."
"What is it? A toad's knot?"
"No, my lorrrd. It's a small taverrrn. You will find it suitable. They serrrve a brrrew that spins your head." Bofo replied grinning or whatever what the string of sharp teeth ment. "We can stay therrre. It is verrry clean."
Lucifer Morningstar cocked his head.
Look at that, he thought. A fat toad with teeth! - and apparently it knew he fancied cleanliness!
"For your own wellbeing that would be advisable."
He pushed his legs into the afanc's flanks and headed on, where Nirazeen rode, the hounds heeling at his left, jumping over the pebbles of the riverbanks. Bofo had trouble keeping up but finally his beast had understood it wasn't considered food and moved at a reasonable speed.
The unlikely trio crossed a stone bridge that hadn't existed a moment ago and the ashfall subsided almost instantly.
Hell was peculiar and while being a punishment and making life in general difficult, it would be obeying the Devil like a faithful pet.
Rivers were mainly thresholds or veils between different spheres, sometimes a nightmare Bosch imagined, at times Escher's worlds were more accurate, so surrealism almost always reigned.
The laws of physics could be bend if Lucifer desired it. He just had forgone to impose himself on his own kingdom since his prolonged stay on Earth, having been a pedestrian for far too long. Now, there was no necessity to adapt to a tame and fragile environment. He could exercise his birthright as son of the Presence and subjugate everything around him.
Crossing the bridge, the distance to the large rocks which dominated the rather flat scenery was shortened by will, the ground coming to them and Lucifer reached the tavern in less than a sixth of the estimated time.
As they reached the stony building that could have well been set somewhere in the Bretagne if it would have been surrounded by hortensias and not two tiny geysers, Bofo slid down from his lavellan and hobbled to the wooden door. The female Lilim played with her daggers, apparently bored but with an eye on her Lord who waited on his afanc until the bald warrior waved his four fingered hand and another small and sturdy demon came to take care of the beasts.
Inside the tavern, the falling darkness was replaced by a warm orange from some scattered torches and a reddish tint coming from a hearth of black stone where meat was roasted over the open fire. Hissing sparks spew over the dripping fat. About a dozen demons, all of them not more than four-inch-tall, populated the tables and benches, all eyes on the newcomers. Nirazeen was met by angry but interested stares and she hissed at the two males that dared to come too close for her liking. Bofo had secured them a strategic table in a corner next to the fire and far from the entrance. The tavern keeper himself served a whole loaf and a jug of herbal spiced liquor.
For being at the outer confines of Hell the place was astonishingly clean, warm and inviting. One could even forget one was in Hell. Maybe the borders between the planes were thinner here. There was no sulphur smell either. Lucifer made a mental note to look for holes or fractures in the realm.
"Publican, how about some nice chunks of game for some tired travelers?" Lucifer clapped his reddish hands which were partially hidden in fingerless gloves before he shed his coat, opened his jacket and took down his hood.
"Of course. I can recommend the root pottage, too. My female is an admirable cook!" the pub owner said with certain pride. It wasn't clear if he, or anybody else for that matter, recognized the Devil but apparently he knew the toad-like demon. "Bofo can vouch for it, right?"
"Yes, yes! We need a place to rrrest, too."
"Three rooms or all in one?"
"Thrrree? Rrright?" Bofo eyed the Lilim and licked his broad snout.
"Right, small toad!" Nirazeen spat and stared back at him while she took her place beside the Lord of Hell.
"It is settled then. Three rooms and the pottage and meat for each of us." The Devil pulled a golden coin and showed his teeth. "If you have some other brew, do bring it as well."
"For that coin I do have something special." Sharp little teeth matched the Devil's before the round male disappeared behind a door.
It didn't take long for the tavern keeper to come back with a tray with steaming soup for the three unlikely travel mates and a grey pewter jug with matching shot cups. He rummaged on the table until he had placed the items to his liking and Lucifer could see a certain order to it, even if it didn't resemble any conventional table setting. The small cups were placed in front of them while the soup was served in the center of the table itself, the still empty bowls on the side.
"I am certain you will enjoy this."
Lucifer Morningstar sniffed and nodded. High percentage of a tubercula apparently. He took a sip and his eyes opened wide.
"This is vodka!"
Nirazeen and Bofo looked puzzled. Both had downed the alcohol without any further thought.
The publican seemed pleased at the exclamation of the wealthy guest and swayed from one foot to another, the tray in both hands pressed against his belly.
"I knew you would appreciate it! I do have a local knockoff a neighbor distills for us now, but this is smuggler's ware and it is not easy to get one's claws on it."
"Do tell the whole story!" Lucifer perked up and held his empty cup towards the tavern owner who filled it eagerly. "This sounds entertaining!" he added.
"I will, but after the main course. I must attend my customers first and it's not for every ear to hear. Please eat your pottage hot or the cook will get furious at me." He continued to sway, satisfied with himself.
"This is good. Tell that the cook. We can't have her angry, can we? I still want a juicy prime meat of that game on the roast." Lucifer put his thumb on the rim of the bowl and looked intently into the little black eyes before he grabbed the pottage and took another gulp.
Finishing their first course the Lord of Hell ogled the other customers of the place. Having the fireplace nearby he was somewhat shielded by the flames and their play with light and darkness, though the Lilim drew attention to their table. She was so out of place in this part of his realm, too pretty and not welcome at all if he deciphered the stares correctly. Even if she didn't seem to mind, she could endanger the search for Dromos. But if Lilim were not liked, that could play into his claws.
"Nirazeen, check that the beasts are well cared of."
The Lilim huffed but obeyed and headed out.
"So, my little toad, why do you think Dromos is nearby?"
"Therrre have been rrrumors about a strrrangerrr, a Lilim, who spoke like a human and fancied cerrrtain drrrinks and food. He just behaved out of the orrrdinary. As you can see Lilim stand out and arrre not welcome." Bofo played with his thumb pads and drowned his nervousness with the thick soup.
The Devil nodded. "And the owner knows something, obviously."
"Yes. The Lilim was seen herrre."
"Right." He served himself another shot of vodka. It was apparent that a Lilim warrior would arouse suspicions and not build any trust. Bringing Nirazeen along had probably been a mistake. It had been an emotional decision and not a rational one.
"So the Lilim is at your service?" The tavern keeper was back with a large piece of loin, salsify on the side, and a small bowl of tiny potatoes fried in animal fat and herbs he placed in front of Lucifer. "Look what my female prepared for the connoisseur!" He grinned without malice. "Do you get those tubercles in Dis?"
The Devil returned the grin but refused to answer the questions. "Cambray potatoes! You are indeed spoiling me! Regards and kudos to the cook!"
"She will be delighted as we grow them ourselves now. She figured out how to reproduce them."
"Not only talented but also clever!" He reached for the sharp knife beside the roast and served himself a huge slice first, before he stabbed a lard-fried potato with the same utensil and savored it. The flavor transported him immediately to L.A. He hummed approvingly. "This is the best food I have had in a long, long time. Let me congratulate her later in person." He turned to Bofo. "I must applaud you! The travel was absolutely worth it." He tried to divert the attention of the many ears in the room. "I hope the accommodations are equally pleasing."
"Oh, I am sorry. They won't match what you are used in Dis, but they are ash-free and clean. I will give you the best room." The round demon swayed to the room behind the stone wall. Probably the kitchen, Lucifer thought.
The Lord of Hell served himself more vodka and another large slice of game when the Lilim returned to the wooden table in the back. She only chose the meat, foregoing the vegetable. The potatoes on Lucifer's plate were ogled suspiciously, but she did not comment them.
Somewhat later, the other patrons had left the tavern by then, the cook came out to meet the foreign guests.
"My mate told me you enjoyed the meal and wanted to talk to me."
"This was an outstanding dinner. I wanted to congratulate and get an eye on the cook." Lucifer Morningstar looked at the almost equally plump female and clapped his hands. Something was off. She did not smell nor look entirely hellish but resembled a very small Celtic woman with her round nose, reddish hair and freckles. "Tapadh leat!" he said, and her green eyes seemed to recognize the words. Her breathing accelerated so he added: "Na biodh sgàth ort."
He leaned back and put his left arm slowly on the back of the bench he was sitting on.
"Can you offer me a dessert?" The tone was still as jovial as before.
"Tha!" she answered, smiled hesitantly and hurried back into the kitchen.
Her mate did not miss her nervousness and swayed even more than before.
Crossing her arms, Nirazeen stared at the Devil, but still hadn't uttered a word.
"Bofo told me a Lilim came by. Is that correct?" Lucifer commented casually, putting all pewter cups in front of him and filling them as if that were the most important task for him. He pushed one towards the empty stool at the table. "Please, do sit. What's your name, publican?"
"Milcom." The tavern keeper sat, unsure of what was going to happen.
"Milcom, I need your help to find this Lilim."
"My help?"
"Indeed. It is imperative that I catch up with him."
"That is why you brought hounds and another Lilim." It was a statement, not a question. "There has been a Lilim who passed by four twilights ago and searched for the outer rim."
"The outer rim?"
"We live near the literal end of Hell and there is a legend of a small tear in the veil between worlds which is lifted on a certain sidereal. He was searching for it."
"Have you told him where to find it?"
The existence was apparent, no need to confirm it.
"No. We distrust Lilim."
For a blink of an eye the publican glanced at Nirazeen before he paid attention to his impressively well-dressed customer.
As if in silent prayer the Devil's fingers touched, thumbs and indexes resting on the forehead. Lucifer Morningstar closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply pretending to ponder over something rather significant. "Did he see your female?"
"No!"
"Good."
"Is she in danger?" Real preoccupation simmered through the choice of words. The demon was more than just fond of his mate. Interesting and as rare as an immaculate diamond, at least in Hell, Lucifer thought. This place was really on the outer rim and very close to a gateway to Earth.
"If he sees her, probably." The sentence was accompanied by a low growl.
"Oh!" The tavern keeper refilled his shot cup and emptied it in one gulp.
Bofo and Nirazeen looked at each other, not following the train of thought of the other two at the table. The amphibian-like demon picked at his brown cloth shirt, somewhat unsure of what to do, but the muscular female stretched lazily on her seat as if she were bored by it all.
"I need to punish him. He'd kidnapped my kin. Do you understand that?" The King of Hell's eyes ignited visibly while his hands formed two fists, his ring becoming visible under the right glove.
"Yes." Milcom nodded strongly, now well aware who was sitting across the table.
"Good."
"How could Dromos kidnap your kin?" Nirazeen leaned forward, head tilted, and suddenly interested in the conversation. She had heard rumors but seen no hint or proof, and here the Lord of Hell himself confirmed them.
"Curiosity killed the cat and many Lilim, too. It does not become you. Tread carefully Nirazeen."
The warrior displayed a submissive demeanor after Lucifer Morningstar grabbed her throat and stared her down. After two battles she knew very well what the King of Hell was capable of.
Sitting on the stool next to her while trying to make himself as invisible as possible, Bofo almost resembled a brown ball. His neckless head turned downwards, the breathing was erratic and shallow. When the Devil released the dark-skinned demon from his grip, causing her to lose balance and tripping over, the toad-like demon simply rolled off his seat gasping for oxygen. Lucifer would have made a funny remark if he had not been busy pretending to be angry.
"Leave! Both of you!"
Shifting the focus of his attention on the tavern keeper, the Devil straightened his posture, revealing his whole stature as his voice smoothed and turned from threatening and ice cold to velvety, rich, low-pitched and full of desire, twisting the will of the recipient with each word that was formed by his darkened but still silver tongue.
"Milcom: You will tell me everything I want to know."
"Yes, my Lord!" More vodka found its way into the shot cups.