.

.

"And scars are souvenirs you'll never lose

The past is never far

And did you lose yourself somewhere out there?

Did you get to be a star?

And don't it make you sad to know that life

Is more than who we are?"

-Name, Goo Goo Dolls

(:)(A)(:)

To The Flame

Chapter #3: Sto Rotto

(I am Broken)

(:)(A)(:)

He meets her at her bench at least every other story, and the image of him sitting there – the device he calls a phone lighting up his face – has become more expected than not. Now whenever she walks to the park and finds her bench empty she feels off balance. She thinks that perhaps this feeling is the loneliness that he spoke of the first time they met, but she can't be sure.

Tonight he is waiting for her, but instead of his phone there is brightly colored bag perched on his lap. His hand disappears into it with a metallic crinkle, his eyes leisurely staring out into the shadowed playground. When it reappears it is to pop something into his mouth. He is eating something that crunches as he chews and coats his fingertips in orange powder. When he hears her footsteps he pauses, his eyes landing on her form the moment she steps into the lamp light's reach. His wide grin is both warm and contagious.

"Hey Luce!" Quickly, he scoots over in order to leave her plenty of space to sit. "I kept your spot warm for ya like always!"

She greets him with a nod, her own lips curling ever so slightly at the corners. She does not remember when (or why) he has given her the nickname, but she has come to expect it from his lips more so than the one she gave him. She takes her place next to him, eyes casually taking note of his printed t-shirt and cargo shorts. He still wears his white scarf - he always does. She is curious about it, but the one time she asked about its story Nastu had merely said it was a gift. His expression was so somber she did not press him for more details, despite the curious itch it gave her writing hand.

He tugs at the light jacket that hungs loosely off her shoulders. "Aren't you hot in that? It's like, 80 degrees out."

She shakes her head. She does not feel the heat or cold. For her, clothing is a matter of modesty, not comfort. "I am fine."

He raises a skeptical eyebrow but shrugs it off. "If you say so." The bag in his hand crinkles as he grabs another snack. As he noisily chews, he holds it out to her. "Want one?"

She peers into the bag. It seems to be half full of strange orange colored puffs that resemble styrofoam more than food. She decides against it, shaking her head.

Natsu merely shrugs. "Your loss." He pops another in his mouth, looking at her from the corner of his eye. There is an amused smile curling his mouth. "So, what's tonights story?"

After a moments consideration, she settles for the broken Tonka truck that is half buried in the sandbox. Natsu listens, like he always does, as she tells its story (a boy named Michael broke it while playing with his older brother Jordan). Once she is done her eyes look to the pink haired man beside her, as she always does, and lets herself become lost in his voice as he tells her the future. It is like this every night with him. She always paints the past and he the future.

He always ends it with 'happily ever after'.

Her mind whispers that different stories shouldn't all have the same ending, but she brushes it aside. She's not sure how she feels about 'ever after', but she likes the idea of 'happily' too much to consider giving it up.

As she transcribes words onto lined pages she tries to remember how many notebooks he has helped her fill, but can't seem to grasp the number. It disturbs her, because she feels as though that is a detail she should know. She asks Natsu, but he answers her in months instead of pages.

"Uh, winter was just ending. So maybe since March?" He shrugs, giving her a bright smile. There is an orange powder lingering at the corner of his mouth - the shade matches the fingers on his right hand. "So I guess that would make it about five months now. Time sure flies, huh?"

She returns his smile softly, despite the fact that he is speaking a language of time that she can't comprehend. "Yes." In truth, it seems as if she has always come to expect him to be there. It is hard to remember the time when he wasn't there to greet her with his summer grin.

He holds the bag out to her in offering. "You sure you don't want some?"

Curiousity wins her over, and her hand reaches in after a moments hesitation and pulls out what looks to her to be a orange powdered piece of packing foam. She eyes it skeptically, holding it away from her. "What is it?"

The look he gives her implies that he is stunned by her question. "It's a Cheeto Puff." She frowns down at it, wondering exactly what a 'cheeto' is made of. He must see her confusion. "You've never had Cheetos?" Now he sounds appalled. "Where have you been!?"

She frowns, ignoring his first question since she is pretty sure it was only rhetorical anyway. "I come here every night." Sometimes he asks such silly questions. He knows that she always comes here - she has told him.

"Well, yeah, but what do you eat?" She remains awkwardly silent and he quickly shakes his head. "Never mind. I forgot that girls don't talk about that stuff." He looks embarrassed that he even asked. "Just try it!"

She is still unsure, but because it is Natsu she puts the odd looking thing in her mouth. It tastes like ash and sticks unpleasantly to her the roof of her mouth like saturated foam. Her nose wrinkles in distaste but she forces herself to swallow it down.

Natsu seems perplexed. "Really? You don't like it?" She shakes her head and he slumps in the seat, a defeated - yet still fond - chuckle escaping him. "Wow Luce. You sure are weird. I don't think I've met anyone who doesn't like Cheetos."

Her tongue is still prodding at the remaining food stuck to her back molar as she eyes the orange bag in his hand with mixed feelings. She is not surprised that she is alone in not liking the (supposedly) cheese flavored snack - it is not the first time she was proven to be different. "It is because I am broken," she says absently, as way of explanation.

Immediately his carefree amusement falls from his face and is replaced by a shocked, almost appalled look. "What?" His voice is a breathy hiss - it doesn't fit him. It is too tragic sounding.

She wonders why he didn't hear her - she did not whisper. She tilts her head, eyeing him strangely as she repeats herself. "I am broken."

An emotion she hasn't seen from him before sharpens and heats his gaze as his hands abandon his bag of cheese flavored styrofoam snacks to cradle either side of her face. She can feel the gritty cheese flavoring on the tips of his fingers as his palms burn her marble cheeks. "Who told you that?" His voice is different. It is edged and raw, and she is confused by the passion behind it. In his eyes the reflection of the lamplight looks like a burning flame.

"I ... don't remember." She doesn't. She only knows that someone must have at some point. She knows with the same certainty as she knows that it is true. She was made wrong.

His finger twitches against her cheek. He seems to be holding himself back from something, but she isn't sure what. His voice is so low, so fierce, she can almost feel it in her chest. "Listen to me, Luce. You are not broken. Ok? Don't talk like that."

She is though, she knows she is. There is something in her that made her wrong. She doesn't understand why he is so upset by it. "You are angry," she says, her eyes evaluating. "Why?"

The sharp edge in his gaze drops immediately, softening into something somber. "Not at you," he murmurs, brows drawn. He must see the question in her eyes because he continues with a sigh. "Whoever told you that ... they're just some idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about. Ok? Don't listen to them."

"But it is true." She still does not understand why he is upset.

The muscle in his jaw jumps and his hands drop from her cheeks to rest on her shoulders. His grip is firm, she can feel the individual imprints of his fingers indenting her skin through her jacket, but it is not painful. "No. It's not."

She is lost, his emotions are so very deep she feels as if they may drown her. "But I don't mind that I am broken." Her head tilts, her lips turning into a little frown at the corners. "Do you?"

He pauses, his body stiffening. His eyes trace hers thoughtfully, his brows drawn in a mixture of concern and something else she can't seem to place. "Luce ... I want you to listen really carefully, alright?" She nods - she is always listening because he is Natsu. He is the only one that meets her at her bench, the only one that talks to her and makes her smile. "You're not broken - you're perfect. I like you just the way you are."

He is wrong, but she doesn't tell him. There is a stubborn gleam in his eye that tells her he either can't, or won't, understand. Broken things, flawed things, can not be perfect - can not be fixed. Even if she was glued back together there would be spider webbed scars visible to anyone who bothered to look. She knows this, has lived with this, and is at peace with it. Relieved even.

She would rather be made wrong than be made right.

Natsu's face is so grim, so serious, she wants to smooth it all away until he looks like himself again. She does not want him to be upset, so she nods instead of repeating the truth. She brings her hand to his cheek the way he did to her only moments before. She had felt comforted by the action when he did it, so she hopes it will have a similar effect on him as well. "I like you the way you are too," she says, because if he will not accept one truth she feels that she should give him another.

Pink spreads across his cheeks and his eyes widen. Lucy feels a little bit lighter at the sight.

He looks more like Natsu now.

AN: There might be a Halloween chapter next ... hopefully appearing on Halloween. Hopefully. Actually, no, I lied. There WILL be a Halloween chapter. It's just a matter of whether it's going to be on time. Even though I also need to get the next chapter of "Ignite" out before then ... and finish the NaLu Love Fest prompts ... uhg, I'm a glutton for punishment.

On another note, this story has been changed to an 'M' rating. There is one particular scene that is already written that I felt was a little on the riské side so I felt it was an appropriate change. Whether there will be a full on lemon is something that I'll decide later.

If you are in the mood for some smut, there are some lime and lemon flavored one shots released (and some more on the way) in honor of the NaLu Love Fest! Hopefully they are enjoyable - they are my first!

As always, if you like this fic enough to fav/follow then I sincerely hope you will take an extra few moments to review! This fic has kinda become my little gem even if "Ignite" is the one getting more attention.

Thank you to all who have been so supportive!