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From Chapter 7: "Happy New Year, Bella," he said. "I'm in love with you."
Chapter 8
January 1-7, 2008
Elizabeth stepped out on the pool deck then and called out to Edward. She couldn't see us in the dark, but we both straightened up and put our clothing back in order. I was glad I didn't have to answer him because I wasn't sure what I would say. He took my hand and led me back toward the house.
"There you are," his mother said when she caught sight of us. "Come inside and say goodnight to everyone." We made small talk with the remaining guests for about another hour when they were finally all gone. Elizabeth flopped dramatically onto a leather armchair with the back of her hand over her forehead, while Edward Sr. drained the last of his scotch.
"Remind me again why we do this every year," she laughed and shot a warm smile at her husband. He shook his head indulgently; I think he was more than a little drunk. Edward just chuckled at their silliness.
"Can I do anything to help?" I asked feeling awkward intruding on their family moment. She brought her hand away from her face and lifted her head.
"No, Sweetie, the caterers are going to take care of everything. But that's kind of you to offer," she answered. Edward cleared his throat.
"We're going to head up to bed," he told his parents. His mom cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Sure, good night, Hon. Mrs. Goff put Bella's bag in the blue guest room," she directed unsubtly. I looked at the floor to keep her from seeing my smile. I followed Edward out of the room. I saw her haul herself out of the chair and drape herself on Edward, Sr. His replying grin was a little lecherous and a lot familiar. So there were some ways in which Edward took after his father.
True to his word, I wasn't alone in the blue guest room for long before Edward tiptoed in. He kept it dark and slid under the covers behind me and proceeded to make good on all his threats from the previous afternoon.
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I woke up alone and guessed by the slant of the light that it was late morning. I freshened up and got dressed in the bathroom attached to my bedroom, then slipped out in the hallway. I made my way to the door of the room I knew to be Edward's bedroom and peeked inside, but it was empty. I figured he must be downstairs, and I decided to go on down. I didn't want to be known as the girl who stayed in bed all day when everyone else was up.
I headed toward the back stairs, which Edward had shown me the night before led down to a small hallway just outside the kitchen. The front staircase was a grand affair leading to the marbled formal foyer. I reached the bottom and paused when I heard voices coming from the kitchen. Elizabeth was speaking.
"That's not what I said, Hon. She's lovely and obviously very bright. But a medical student, Edward? She's got a long road ahead of her with residency. You know that. How is that going to work long term if you move away after the draft? She won't be free to visit with her grueling schedule. I think it's great that you're behaving more seriously, but don't go too far in the other direction. Be reasonable, Edward. I don't want you to jeopardize your bright future." I heard Edward raise his voice in argument, but I didn't stay to hear any more.
I raced as quietly as possible back up the stairs and closed myself in the guest bathroom. I sat on the closed toilet lid, balanced my elbows on my knees, and hid my face in my hands. Elizabeth was exactly right, and those very sentiments had been tickling the back of my mind. But hearing those words said out loud by another person was a shock.
I thought about the wonderful Kate from last night. She was such a better choice for someone like Edward. She would be free to visit him, maybe even move to wherever he ended up. She could support him and cheer for him from the stands. I would never be able to do that.
I knew what the right thing to do was. I needed to go down to the kitchen, ask Edward to take me home, and then tell him we couldn't see each other anymore. It was a hopeless situation. But I didn't do it. I stayed seated right where I was because I finally understood the strange emotions that had been swirling in my brain over the last few days. I thought back to Edward's words at midnight and saw the truth. I was in love with him, too.
And too selfish to let him go now even though I knew it was going to hurt when I eventually had to do it. So, when he knocked on the bathroom door a few minutes later and asked if I'd be ready to go soon, I called through the door that I'd be out in a second. I pulled myself together and opened the door with a smile.
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Edward and I settled into a steady routine over the next week. He never said anything to me about his mother's reservations and acted like the evening had been a great success. Unofficial baseball practice started on the 2nd even though school was not back in session for Rice, so he spent several hours a day with that and even met Jasper a few times over at Bellaire High School for some batting practice. They seemed to be developing a tight friendship. I spent the time apart studying and working out in The Greenbriar gym.
But every night, we met back at my apartment to eat take-out or heat up something frozen. After dinner we would watch a little TV, discuss our days, and eventually end up in bed where Edward would make love to me desperately. It was pure bliss, but some level of dread remained at the back of mind. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
We lay naked in bed on the evening of January 6, the night before we both had to go back to school. Edward was combing his fingers through my hair and placing light kisses on my shoulders and neck. Our legs were still tangled together, and our breathing was just returning normal.
"I don't know how I'm going to stand being away from you all day long," he said between kisses. I sighed.
"Edward, I'm going to have to stay overnight at the hospital probably every third or fourth night, too. I'll have to go in on the weekends. I told you all of this," I reminded him.
"That doesn't mean I have to like it," he pouted. "And I'll have to travel once the season starts. But we'll make it work," he declared confidently. That dread at the back of my mind crept closer to the front.
"And, I'll have to study on the nights I'm home, too. We won't be able to keep our evenings like they've been this past week," I cautioned. He just smiled at me naively believing everything was going to be all right. I knew I should speak up, tell him that it was going to be harder than he could imagine, but I didn't want to ruin this last evening.
So I scooted myself closer to him and caught his chin with my index finger, bringing his face up to mine. I initiated a searing kiss, immediately plunging my tongue inside his mouth, and he responded by deepening it further. I could feel him growing hard again against my hip. He was sufficiently distracted from the heavy discussion, and we proceeded to love each other until we both fell asleep.
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The alarm went off at 6 am, and it felt awfully early. Two weeks of sleeping in and no real schedule had spoiled me. Edward stirred but didn't fully wake up. I had to be at the Department of Orthopedic Surgery conference room for a 7 am Radiology conference, but Edward didn't have a class starting until 9. Against my better judgment, he had convinced me to give him a key to my apartment a few days ago. So, I let him keep sleeping.
I wore nice pants and a button up blouse with comfortable shoes. Hopefully, I'd be cleared to wear scrubs in the future, but I wanted to make a good impression on my first day of the rotation.
I knew the basic schedule. There would be a department conference of various topics every morning at 7. The entire department, including attendings, residents, and students, would be present. There were four faculty members specializing in Ortho Sports, which basically meant shoulder, elbow, and knee joints. I knew there was a single resident in the fourth year assigned to the service, as well as a fellow, but I would be particularly assigned to Dr. Carlisle Cullen, who was the newest faculty member.
I would do what Dr. Cullen did, and he would ultimately write my evaluation when the rotation ended on February 15. I would also work closely with the resident who would probably have significant input on my grade, too, since I would have to take call with that person. We would either go to clinic or the OR after conference each morning. I would round on any patients belonging to Dr. Cullen admitted to the hospital prior to the morning conference. That wouldn't happen often since most of our surgeries were outpatient procedures.
I hated the first day of a new rotation. I didn't like not knowing my routine or exactly where to go. First days reminded me of my own insignificance. The department had run before I arrived and would continue to do so when I moved on to something else.
I arrived about ten minutes early but the conference room was already pretty full. The room was dominated by a large, boardroom-style table in the center with a large flat screen on the far wall. Faculty and senior residents would sit at the table while junior residents and medical students would sit in chairs that lined the wall of the room. I recognized a fourth year medical student sitting in the back and went to sit next to him.
"Hey, Bella," he greeted me. "Is this your first Ortho elective?" I nodded.
"Yep. How are you, Tyler?" I confirmed. "I guess you're getting ready for the Match and going on interviews now." Medical students applied for residency in the fall of the fourth year and interviewed mostly in December and January. The National Residency Match Program used a complicated computer formula to match students and programs based on the preferences of both. Match Day, when the results were announced, was in mid March, and usually the best or worst day of a medical student's career.
"I went on four in December, and I've got another five interviews this month," he told me. I pursed my lips, impressed.
"Nine interviews is great," I told him. "It sounds like you don't have to worry about not matching." He crossed his finger and shook them in front of us.
"Hopefully, it does look that way," he agreed. "Which attending are you shadowing this month?" I made a small face.
"Dr. Cullen," I admitted. "I was hoping for someone more well known. I'd really like to stay at Baylor." Tyler shrugged.
"He seems nice, a little quiet, but from what I can tell, he's respected." I shrugged back at him noncommittally. It was a pretty good endorsement. At least Tyler hadn't said he was a jerk.
"Wait!" Tyler suddenly exclaimed. "You're on Sports," his eyes widened with horror.
"What?" I demanded with alarm. He closed his eyes and shook his head in pity.
"Trey is the resident on Sports now. He's the biggest asshole on the planet," Tyler muttered quietly since the room was starting to fill up to the max, and the chairs near us were being taken. "I heard he's especially bad with chicks." I curled my lip and rolled my eyes.
"Don't worry, Tyler," I growled. "I think I can take care of myself," I told him, but he looked at me worriedly.
"I hope so," he said sincerely. "Let me know if you need help or anything this month." I nodded to show him I accepted his offer, and the chairman, Dr. Volturi, called the conference to order. I followed along as best I could as a few chosen residents presented cases illuminated by CT scans, MRIs, or X-rays displayed on the large screen. I was glad I'd studied so hard because I could actually recognize a few of the injuries they highlighted. The attending physicians took turns grilling the residents who weren't presenting.
Dr. Cullen spoke up a few times, and I took the opportunity to observe him. He looked young, really young, as in not much older than me. I knew he had to be at least early 30's based on timing, but he didn't look it. He had light blond hair and really blue eyes. I decided he was probably handsome and lamented the fact that I was unable to appreciate it truly. Edward had ruined me.
He seemed thoughtful though. His questions were fair and insightful. Tyler was probably right, and he'd be enjoyable to work for. I could tell the older attendings held him in some esteem, so maybe he'd have more clout than I expected during residency selection deliberations.
I also watched the resident, who I identified as Trey. He was a large man, bulky and only a few workouts away from overweight. His scrubs were tied just below his burgeoning belly. I thought he might have played football at some point and let himself go. He also had blonde hair, but it was a darker shade. I couldn't tell for sure but I thought he had dark eyes. His facial expression stood out, along with the fact that he needed a shave. He sneered at those around him and held himself with arrogance and bravado. And he was wearing cowboy boots with his scrubs.
He was not one of the presenters, and, unfortunately, he had all the correct answers when asked. I thought he might have a bit of an adversarial relationship with the faculty because they all seemed somewhat focused on tripping him up. But they couldn't. When the conference ended, he had a very unpleasant but triumphant smile on his face. Tyler gave me a silent and pointed look. Then, he touched two fingers to his temple in a mock salute and disappeared into the crowd of doctors who were now standing and chatting with each other.
I shuffled through the group, noticing that there was only one other woman in the room. She was tiny and Asian and had been one of the resident presenters that morning. I had heard them call her Janeth. None of the faculty was female. I already knew that Orthopedics was a boys' club and was prepared for it. Dr. Cullen was talking quietly with Dr. Volturi, and I approached his elbow and tapped it lightly. He turned toward me expectantly.
"Hi, Dr. Cullen, I'm Bella Swan. I'm the medical student assigned to you this rotation," I introduced myself tentatively. Dr. Volturi smiled at me with some level of recognition, which made me feel a lot better. I'd met with him a few months ago when I'd decided to pursue Orthopedics as my specialty. I was glad he seemed to remember me. Dr. Volturi gave Dr. Cullen a pat on the back and moved off.
"Hi, Bella," Dr. Cullen greeted me but didn't seem sure what to say next. He looked me over and finally spoke again. "Um, did you get a packet from Gianna?" He was referring to the department secretary. I'd had the packet since December, but I didn't have a call schedule yet, so I mentioned that. Dr. Cullen looked a bit chagrinned.
"Yes, well, you'll be taking call with Trey, the resident on our service," he told me hesitantly. I nodded with a frown. I'd figured that, but wasn't happy to have it confirmed after seeing the man in question in action that morning. Dr. Cullen studied me appraisingly. Then, he beckoned for me to follow him.
"We're in the OR this morning," he told me as we walked, headed for the outpatient operating suites in St. Luke's Medical Towers. "You can change into scrubs in the locker room. After today, unless we are seeing patients in the Baylor clinic, you can feel free to wear scrubs." He glanced over at me. "What you're wearing today is appropriate for the Baylor clinic," he said. He told me to change and meet him in OR #15 for the first case and disappeared into the men's locker room.
I entered the women's locker room and changed as quickly as possible. I donned a surgical cap, boot-sized shoe covers to keep the water from the arthroscope off my legs, and a mask. Then, I headed through to the sterile part of the operating rooms. I found OR#15 easily since I'd had other surgical rotations before this one. I pushed open the door and entered.
Dr. Cullen wasn't there yet, but I recognized Trey immediately. He was typing on a computer in the corner, obviously filling in pre-op information in the electronic medical record. The patient was already in the room on a gurney next to the anesthesia equipment. The anesthesiologist and his resident were working on IV sedation and starting a regional block so we could start the case. I'd seen that it was an ACL repair when I checked the board in front of the main nurses' station.
Trey looked up when I entered the room. His eyes narrowed behind the plastic splashguard he was wearing, and honed in on me instantly. I couldn't see his mouth but I could picture it curving up into a cruel smile. He got up from the stool slowly and rubbed his hands together in feigned glee.
"Oh boy, my lucky day, what do we have here?" he crowed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the anesthesia resident cast me a concerned glance.
"I'm Bella Swan, MS3," I told him referring to my status a third year medical student. I approached him and put my right hand out for him to shake it. He just stared at it.
"Let's get this straight," he finally said to me. "We're not here to be friends. I'm going to teach you what you need to know," he said ominously. "And I decide what you need to know," he added. And with that, he tossed something in the air toward me. To my great relief, I caught it easily. A surgical tech that I hadn't noticed was setting up the back table nearby and let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, everyone was accustomed to Trey's reign of terror.
I glanced at the object in my hand. It was a plastic razor, the type we used to shave the body as part of sterile surgical prep. I looked back up at Trey, and he grinned evilly.
"It's a razor," he said unnecessarily. "You can shave the knee," he offered with pretend generosity. "That may be the only thing you can do right. I assume you shave your own legs." I stared at him in shock with my mouth slightly open. I thought, did he really just say that? The anesthesia resident let out an almost imperceptible gasp out of my line of sight. Trey held my gaze, daring me to contradict him.
Finally, I started moving again. I said nothing to him and moved toward the patient. I proceeded to shave the surgical area carefully, and the circulating nurse approached with the prep kit. She started to don sterile gloves but I shook my head at her.
"I've got it," I told her, and she nodded with sympathy in her eyes. Trey just laughed meanly and left the room to scrub at the sinks. The surgical tech flipped him off behind his back as he exited the swinging door. But no one said anything. Dr. Cullen entered the room then. He went to the computer and signed off in the required spots then crossed the room to inspect the quality of prep. He nodded in acceptance as I painted the area bright orange with iodine soap.
"I'm going to have you just sit back and watch this one on the screen, Bella," he told me in a soft voice. He seemed shy. "This is Trey's case, so I'll be assisting and supervising him. Maybe you can scrub on the next one, and I'll let you work the scope a little. Does that sound OK?" he asked anxiously. I was surprised he was so concerned about what I thought. I just nodded. He left the room for the scrub sink, and the circulating nurse pointed out a good stool for me to use where I could see the screen where the scope video feed would be displayed.
The two surgeons re-entered the room, and things got started. Trey was facile with working the scope, surgical instruments, and moving his eyes back and forth from the video screen to the small openings that had been made in the knee joint. I was pretty impressed with his ability considering he still had another year of residency. Dr. Cullen was pretty quiet, so he must have approved of what he saw.
After about ten minutes, Trey started pimping me. He shouted out random questions about anatomy, surgical indications, and non-operative treatments. I was very proud of myself for getting all his questions right, but it seemed like it was pissing him off. Finally, he lost what little professionalism he had left.
"So, you think you're going to match in Ortho, huh, Swan?" he asked, eyes on the screen. The guy could really multi-task.
"I hope so," I replied simply and cautiously.
"Well, your knowledge is way ahead of your peers right now," Dr. Cullen told me, and I couldn't suppress a tiny smile of satisfaction. "You're on the right track, I'd say." Trey rudely interrupted him to keep harassing me.
"So, you know there are only two types of women that go into Ortho, right?" he said, obviously wanting me to ask him for clarification. I stayed silent, unsure what to say.
"Trey," Dr. Cullen said quietly, the warning clear in his voice.
"Shut up, Carlisle," Trey spat with vehemence. I was shocked to hear him address the attending by his first name, but Dr. Cullen didn't reprimand him. "She needs to hear this." He stilled the instruments in his hand and turned away from the screen to look at me. Water from the stationary scope poured onto the floor, the noise loud in the otherwise silent room.
"Two types of women," he repeated. "The butch ones and the bitches. Which one are you?" Then he cackled at his own wit. I saw the anesthesia resident put his hand to his mask in obvious disbelief, but he stayed quiet behind the monitors. Dr. Cullen said nothing but looked angrily down at the patient. Trey resumed operating. I was fuming, and I stood up from the stool.
"Which one do you think?" I snapped and cocked an eyebrow at him with my hands on my hips. I didn't care what kind of influence he had in the department. I wasn't going to stand for that treatment. Trey didn't answer, and I could tell my response was not what he expected. Probably he'd hoped for some tears. Dr. Cullen looked up directly at me, and I could see the smile in his eyes even though his mouth was covered. The anesthesia resident gave me a surreptitious thumbs-up.
Trey ignored me for the rest of the case, and Dr. Cullen asked me some questions, but nothing too hard. Then, he asked some basic getting-to-know-you things. I was only a little evasive. I didn't want him to find out that the famous Dr. Dwyer was my step-dad. That knowledge usually made things more complicated for me. Dr. Cullen left the room when the repair was essentially done, leaving Trey to close the wounds and finish up. I placed the dressing without having to be asked.
When the patient rolled towards Recovery, I started to follow, but Trey grabbed me by the elbow and turned me to face him. I tried to jerk away, but he held on almost painfully.
"You better not give me any trouble this month," he said threateningly. "We're going to be taking call together, and I'm the one who has to check you off on the required skills. Just remember that." Then he dropped my arm and breezed past me to Recovery. I stared after him open-mouthed.
I debated what to do. I should probably report him for his behavior, but even though everyone knew he was a jerk, I'd still be the girl who complained. I didn't want the department to have that impression of me, since I wanted to stay around for residency. I decided I'd just have to put up with him.
Dr. Cullen cornered me in the pre-op area where I was helping Trey get the next patient ready to go back. He crooked his finger and pulled me around the corner to a quiet area.
"I'm sorry about Trey," he apologized. "I don't seem to have any control over him." He shrugged and sighed. He looked ashamed. I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to ask why he allowed Trey to call him by his first name. I wanted to ask why he didn't report Trey's behavior to the chairman. Most of all, I wanted to ask him why he was whispering to me in a quiet corner of pre-op instead of confronting Trey on my behalf.
But, I just studied him quietly and said nothing. None of those questions were ones you asked your attending. I didn't know him well enough to know how he'd react. He seemed shy and approachable, but he could turn on me in a second. I just looked him and nodded. He glanced away. He couldn't hold eye contact with me. So far, my opinion of him was favorable, but this interaction really disappointed me. I pursed my lips and stepped away from him.
"Bella, you really impressed me today. I promise I will try to find a way to be an advocate for you," he said softly. I smiled slightly and nodded again. I turned away from him and returned to Trey's side, silently assisting him in readying the patient.
And so they day went. Trey terrorized the OR and staff while delivering immaculate surgical care. I really despised him by the time the last case ended. The three of us wished the final patient well in Recovery. Dr. Cullen shook his wife's hand and patted her back. We turned to head back to the Department's offices, but Trey stalked off without a word once we headed around the corner out of sight. Dr. Cullen watched him go with an inscrutable expression.
"Good job today, Bella," he told me again as we made our way to his office. Once inside he gave me a list of articles that he recommended I look up online to bolster my current knowledge. I thanked him and promised to meet him at Conference the next morning prior to a day in clinic. He stared at me like he wanted to say more but just nodded as I left.
I stopped by Beck's Prime for a cheeseburger on the way home, really needing a good treat. Edward had baseball practice, and I didn't expect him until late. I'd told him we needed to start spending nights apart since I had to get up so early, but he insisted that we could be apart on my call nights and anything else wasn't necessary.
But I was so looking forward to seeing him. My day had not turned out as expected, and I realized that all I wanted was his comfort and touch. He'd truly won me over in the last few weeks, I realized wryly. My mission to stay unaffected and not get attached was not working out well. But I felt strangely optimistic despite my dreadful day. Maybe it could work out somehow in the end just like he said.
But by the time I needed to go to bed, he still wasn't back to the apartment. I had to get up at 6 AM again the next day, and I had learned that Wednesday night was my call night, and I probably wouldn't sleep. So at nine o'clock, I took a shower and climbed in bed. I dozed but didn't fall asleep. A little after ten, I heard him enter the apartment.
He shuffled through the dark, obviously trying to be quiet. He crept into the bathroom and didn't turn on the light until the door was closed. I heard the shower turn on. A few minutes later, he came in the bedroom and slid under the covers next to me. He dragged me back into spoon position, and I could tell he was naked, just like me. I rolled toward him and brushed against his obvious erection. I reached down to run my thumb over the tip. He groaned quietly.
"Bella, we don't have to," he complained with little conviction. I then gripped his length and pumped a few times to show him what I thought about his protestations. He moaned but didn't try and stop me.
"If it's all the same to you, I'd think we do," I replied archly. It didn't take him long to get into the same frame of mind as me. His mouth covered mine, and he shifted to hover over me. In a few frantic movements, he was inside me. We rocked together until we both reached release. Afterwards, we cuddled together, touching and teasing.
"How was your day?" I asked him. "Do you like your classes so far?"
"Yeah, they're not bad," he told me noncommittally. "Practice could have gone better, though," he said.
"Why? What happened?" I asked him. I could feel him shrug where he lay.
"I probably should have worked out more over break," he admitted. "Coach laid into me. I'm not where I should be yet." In that moment, my secret crush on Coach Graham ended, and I just wanted to punch him in the face.
"Edward, I'm sure you're right on track," I argued. He kissed my cheek but didn't agree.
"I love you, Bella, but you're biased," he made the statement casually, and I stiffened. I hoped he didn't notice.
"Anyway, I know you'll work hard," I said lamely. He ran his fingers through my hair and didn't answer.
"How was your day?" he finally asked me. I opened my mouth to tell him what an asshole Trey had been, but I swallowed it. He was obviously upset and didn't need me to add to it.
"Dr. Cullen seems nice. He's really young, but I think I impressed him," I admitted. Edward nestled his face in my breasts. I ran my fingers through his hair, and he sighed contentedly.
"Do I need to be worried?" he muttered. I giggled.
"No, he hasn't got your charisma," I joked, but it was also the truth. Edward let out a puff of laughter against my chest. He lifted his head and kissed me deeply. Then, he pulled me close and settled down obviously tired and ready to sleep. I didn't want to delay his sleep. I didn't want to put all my negativity on him either.
"We'll talk tomorrow," I whispered as we both drifted off.
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A/N: Sadly, Trey is real. As you may know, I like to use canon characters in my stories and don't really make up original characters (well, most of their actions are original, but their names are canon). This character is based on an actual senior resident I had as a medical student at Baylor, who was named Trey. Some of the things he says to Bella here and in future chapters were actually said to me.
I think I've tied Trey into a canon character in a rather clever way. Wait 'til next chapter to see how…
Many readers have wondered how many more chapters until we get back to present day. There will be two more chapters set in 2008 before we return to 2014. Hang in there!
Thanks for continuing to read and review! I got a lot more last chapter after my blatant begging . -EG