I woke first, as usual. My whole body rigid from where I had slept in a single bed all night, curled against Tori. I took a moment to relish the situation I was in; my arms were still wrapped around Tori's tiny waist, the lingering smell of her day old perfume filling my airways as my face lay close to her warm back. Our hair was still slightly wet, the smell of chlorine still thick in the air and on our skin. But none of that mattered to me, aside from the thumping headache, I was happy.
"Good morning." Tori yawned, turning over to face me with her big brown eyes. She held her arms around my naked waist, a sweet, modest smile covering her lips.
"Morning." I replied, leaning towards her and kissing her smirking lips gently. "How are you feeling?"
"Rough. I always end up being hungover when I'm around you." She chuckled, rolling back over to lay on her back, her arms placed just above her head. "But last night was amazing." She caught my eyes again, a cheeky grin surfacing.
"Yeah it was alright." I shrugged, a devious smirk on my face.
"Alright?" She gasped, swatting at my forehead carefully.
"I'm kidding, Tori." I frowned at her attempt of hitting me. "I couldn't describe it even if I tried."
"That's better." She smiled. "It was so special, the way the city lights were in front of us and the cute music playing in the background, and it just felt so natural. It was perfect."
I rolled my eyes at her playfully. "Really? You've never fucked in a pool before?"
Her eyes widened slightly as she bit her bottom lip, her smile dropping from her lips. "I've never done anything like that before." Her eyes fell to her hand which was laying on top of the sheets, making a figure of eight with her fingers.
"It's cool, it was my first time with a girl as well." I admitted, slightly embarrassed. I was a confident girl, but last night scared me. I liked her a lot and I wanted to show that in every way possible.
She shook her head. "I don't mean that."
"What?" A puzzled look overcame my face. "Are you saying-"
She cut me off. "Uh huh. Does this mean I'm not a virgin anymore?"
I laughed in shock. How could I even start to comprehend what she had just admitted to me. I'd taken her virginity, something that is so special to a girl I'd taken. I felt my cheeks go a shade of hot pink. I didn't even think my cheeks could possibly go that color until now. I quickly wiped the smile off my face as I saw the seriousness on her. "I guess." I mumbled, not knowing what to reply.
She blushed even more than I had. "I feel giddy." She ran her fingers through her hair, a wide, proud smile on her face. "I feel great." She laughed to herself, almost falling out of bed as she giggled to herself.
"Good?" I laughed in return, catching her arm before she could fall onto the hard floor. "Careful, Vega. We don't want any broken bones this summer. That would ruin everything."
"Imagine if I broke my arm, or my wrist? Or worst, my fingers!" She cocked her eyebrow at me, still chuckling to herself.
"Oh dear, whatever would I do." I replied sarcastically. "Not like I don't have my own fingers."
"But mine are better, right?"
I nodded. "Stupid question."
"Good answer."
"Were you really a virgin?" I was still in shock, it wasn't that she seemed like the girl to sleep around it was just that last night had been so natural and she had seemed so confident I found it hard to believe it was her first time.
She nodded seriously. "I've only ever kissed a boy before and let me tell you, girls kiss so much better."
"Well of course we do." I smirked. "Girls are better at everything."
"Boys are just so rough and want to stick their tongue in your mouth, girls kisses are soft and passionate. It's like a whole other world." She blushed again.
"Calm down." I laughed. "We better make a move on, it's gone midday and we're still in a basement recovering from a hangover. It isn't exactly the best way to spend a sunny Monday now, is it?" I stole the duvet from her, revealing her beautifully tanned body.
"Jade!" She squealed wrapping the white sheet back around her bare body.
"Oh now you get embarrassed." I stuck my tongue out at her before throwing on my clothes from the night before. "Come on, get dressed."
...
"So what's the plan for today?" Tori and I walked barefoot down the streets of LA, both of us carrying our heels in our hands looking like we'd both walked through a bush backwards. We were wearing the same clothes we'd had on last night, both of us in denim shorts and a bikini top as the sun was making it almost unbearable to walk in any clothing.
I pulled my sunglasses over my eyes as the sun blared down on us. "We don't have any plans."
"Why don't we get coffee or something?" Tori suggested, turning to face the street with our favourite coffee store on it.
"I don't get money in my account until Friday now, so unless you're paying that's a no."
She shook her head. "I spent all my allowance on alcohol."
"Back to square one then." I paused, standing still and looking around the streets.
"We're not playing chicken." Tori declared placing her hands on her hips and squinting her caramel eyes at me.
"No, no." I laughed at her lack of trust in me. "How bored are you?"
She scrunched her face up at me. "Bored." She replied, following me as I walked towards the freeway.
I walked towards the busy road, stopping on a slight grass hill and sitting down facing the traffic. "Whenever my parents used to argue I'd bring Jett out here and we'd sit here for hours just watching the traffic. Sometimes it was fast and almost like watching a race, other times it was at a standstill with the noise of the car horns echoing around you and sometimes it was quiet, almost like there was no one else there. Jett liked when the cars would race past us. The noise of the cars was louder than the noise of them arguing."
Tori stood still as I spoke, her eyes scanning the freeway before falling back onto mine. "Can I sit?" She questioned when I finished speaking.
I nodded, patting the warm grass beside me. "I'm sorry it's not very interesting."
"It's fine. I like listening to you talk." She lay back, resting on her elbows, her eyes still on the fast moving traffic. "You said used to argue? Do they not argue anymore?"
"Not since-" I stopped.
"You don't have to tell me." She empathized.
I hated feeling vulnerable. Vulnerable meant I was weak, it meant I was open to attack. I had never been the type of girl to be vulnerable and this was the only thing up until I met Tori that made me feel that way. It used to control the way I thought, felt and acted. This secret I shouldn't know about had so much control over me. I had kept it from half my family for so long that it almost became normal; the lies, the cover ups, it all built up. I'd had enough.
"It's a long story." I half laughed, trying to brush it off like it was no big deal, but there was no fooling her.
"Are you ok?" I hated that look she gave me, like she thought I was weak too.
I ignored her question, staring straight into the traffic ahead of me. That is what the secret had done to me, it made me question trusting everyone, even the people I knew I wanted to trust.
"Jade, are you ok?" She repeated, waving her hand in front of my face to get my attention.
"It's a secret." I spoke, my eyes still looking ahead of us.
"I have secrets too." I saw her smile from the corner of my eye. "When we were younger I convinced Trina we were related to Alexa Vega, you know the girl who plays Carmen in Spy Kids? I told her she was our cousin who never saw us because she was a famous actress." Tori giggled slightly. "It's my fault Trina got into acting, that lie made her want to be like Alexa. She believed me for years and when she finally figured out she wasn't related to us I felt awful."
I rolled my eyes at her. "That's hardly a secret, that's just sisters being sisters." I laughed for real this time. "But it's kinda funny."
"Everyone has secrets, Jade. Some funny, some sad, some ridiculous and some shocking, but thats what makes you who you are and the people who really love you won't judge you for them." Tori placed her hand on top of mine, a sweet smile pulling at her tired lips.
I felt my bottom lip tremble slightly. No, I was not going to cry. I don't cry, ever. How does this girl I'd only known a while have so much power over me? It was like I was her puppet and she controlled me on tiny strings, strings that could snap at any moment and leave me helpless. Power is an internal control and power is what Tori had over me, whether she knew it or not.
"My secrets aren't all my own."
"Mine aren't either." Tori replied straight away. "My Mom once forgot to pick Trina and I up from school when we were little and we ended up walking the streets until we found our way home. She made us swear not to tell our Dad because he'd freak out about us being kidnapped or something."
"It must be nice having such protective parents." I moved my fingers under her hand, playing with her fingertips.
"Sometimes. It can get annoying though, sometimes they treat me like I'm six and not sixteen. But I love them. I know they are just protective because they love me. On the other hand I bet it's nice to be independent and just do what you want, when you want." You could tell by the tone in her voice that the last part of her sentence was fake as she mumbled the words with a fake smile attached.
I mimicked her, forcing a smile onto my lips. "Yeah, it's great doing what I want. Like being able to do this." Just as I finished my sentence I leant over Tori, my hands landing either side of her tanned body, my knees touching her crossed legs, our faces almost touching as I smirked to her.
"Do what?" She breathed heavily, her eyes darting up and down my body.
"This." I whispered, placing my lips onto hers. I loved how everytime I kissed Tori it was like it was the first time we'd ever kissed. We both smile into the kiss, holding onto eachother tight and making the most of every second with one another. Our kisses are always passionate, with an underlying hint of nerves.
"Everyone will see." She pointed to the cars on the freeway as she broke the kiss.
"We're sat watching the freeway, I highly doubt they are sat in their cars watching us." I kissed her forehead gently, holding my lips there for a moment longer than usual. "Come on, we best get you home before your parents think you've been kidnapped." I cocked my eyebrow at her, a smug look on my face.
"You can't use my secrets against me, Jade! That's not how it works." She slapped my arm playfully as she stood up, brushing off the blades of grass that had attached themselves to her lower body.
"I'm sorry." I pouted, making my eyes go wide as I bat my eyelashes at her.
"No you're not." She laughed. "But it's ok."
"Did you have a nice time today?" I slipped my hand into her's as we walked away from the freeway, my fingers interlocking with hers naturally.
"Weirdly, yes. Who knew watching cars drive past you for hours on end would be entertaining." She squeezed my hand as she spoke. "I like spending time with you, no matter what we do."
We walked hand in hand back to mine, me in almost complete silence the majority of the time, just listening to her talk about her life. I watched the way she said certain words and the hand gestures she used, I examined her facial expressions when she spoke about specific things that annoyed her or made her happy, and slowly but surely I felt myself fall more and more for her.
...
"What would you have done the past month if you hadn't met me?" My room was dark, all but the light from the TV on in the background, neither of us had been watching it all night.
"I don't know." She giggled. "Do my summer homework, hang out with some of my friends from school, maybe learnt to drive?"
"Thank god you met me then."
"I know right. You've given my summer some meaning. Even when we do nothing you make it fun." She curled into me, her arms moving across my waist and settling on my stomach, her fingers making a figure of eight around my bellybutton.
"You're weird." I chuckled, looking to her fingers on my stomach.
"We're both weird." She said in defense.
"True." I smiled. "Do you want to watch a movie?"
"By that do you mean you want to watch a movie and I haven't got a choice in what we actually watch?" She sat up, raising her eyebrows at me with a cheeky smirk on her face.
"Well done, you know me so well." I swung my legs off the bed, grabbing a DVD from my collection and putting it in before Tori could sneak a look at what it was.
"Are you freaking serious?" She gasped as the title hit the screen.
I laughed to myself as I sat back down beside her. "Hate me?"
"Of course." She tried to scowl at me, a smile breaking through the frown. "I didn't even think you would own Spy Kids."
"So, your cousin is the main girl, right?" I teased.
"Jade!" She moaned, pushing me hard. "You promised you wouldn't tease me."
"I didn't promise anything." I continued laughing. "I just wanted to see your cousin's movie."
"I hate you." She crossed her arms, trying her hardest not to laugh along with me.
"No you don't." I kissed her cheek, leaving a red lipstick mark on her skin.
"No I don't." She gave in, giving me one last scowl before cuddling into me again to watch the movie.
...
"For a kids movie it isn't actually half bad. Carmen has some mad spy skills." I began.
Still cuddled into me was a very asleep Tori, her chest was rising and falling heavily and her lips were parted slightly to let out harsh, sleepy breaths. She always looked so full of innocence and peaceful when she slept, like how I imagine a Princess would sleep.
Moving carefully out of her grasp I moved her under the sheets, tucking her in without waking her at all. "Sweet dreams." I whispered, kissing her forehead softly.
"Oh, there you are." My Mom said in surprised as she greeted me on the hallway as I left my bedroom.
"I've been here all night?" I snapped. "Going somewhere?" I eyed her up and down; she was dressed in a tight blue dress that barely covered her and some trashy heels that made her taller than me for once.
"Out. You need to babysit Jett." She pushed past me, her heels clicking loudly across the floor.
"You didn't even know I was in? What were you going to do with Jett if I hadn't have been here?" I spat the words out at her.
She span around on the heel of her shoe, her face crumpled with anger and exhaustion. "He can look after himself." Was her pathetic reply.
"No, he can't. He's seven fucking years old, seven!" I felt the anger build up in me, all the secrets, the lies, the deciet, it all built up and I'd had enough.
"Did you really think I was going to leave him home alone, Jade?" She rolled her eyes at me. "Your Father is at home but he's in the office working, you know how he gets when we distract him from his work."
I let out a pissed off huff. "Why can't you just stay at home and raise your kid?"
"Jade, honey, I'm young. I want to go out and have fun. I'm only thirty six, I won't be young forever." She moved towards me, placing her cold hands on my shoulders ands trying to keep eye contact with me.
"There's a difference between having fun and having an affair, you whore."
From the look on my Mother's face you would have thought I'd just stabbed her several times with a blunt knife.
"How dare you." She put her hand over my mouth, shutting it tight. "You promised." She let go of me, staggering back away from me.
"I promised I wouldn't tell eight years ago. You promised me it had stopped."
She open and closed her mouth several times before speaking. "It did." Was her response. For once she didn't try and deny anything.
"I don't deserve this, none of us do, Dad, Jett, we've all been fucked over by you. Why can't you just be a Mom? You don't deserve this family."
"Jade, you don't mean that." Her eyes started to water, she sniffed several times in an attempt to hold back the tears forming in her crystal blue eyes.
"Oh but I do. You don't understand what you've done to me do you?" I watched as she stood with a blank expression on her face. "Fuck you, fuck you and your lies, and your guilt games. I've had enough. Screw around with someone else, but by the looks of things you're going to do that tonight anyway."
"Jade." She said with a broken voice as I stormed off.
I slammed my door loudly, loud enough to wake Tori and the rest of my house but I didn't care anymore. I slumped down against the door, grabbing my hands through my hair and taking deep breaths in an attempt not to scream.
"Jade, let me explain." She stood the other side of the door repeating herself for several minutes before giving up. "Night." She said before leaving.
Mascara darkened under my swollen eyes as I let out frustrated tears. The salty water poured down my face, falling onto my clothes and the floor beneath me. After just a few brief minutes of finally breaking down I heard footsteps move towards me from my bed. She said nothing, barely making a sound she sat down beside me, her warm hand moving onto my own, squeezing with reassurance. We sat for hours, not saying a word, just sat in the darkness holding onto one another. Sometimes that silence means more than any words at all.
A/N - Ten points to anyone who can guess something to do with the actual TV show (Victorious) that's been hinted in the past couple chapters?
So now you guys know why Jade dislikes her Mom so much, how do you feel about it all?
I'm not gonna lie, I really like the last paragraph, it's something I can imagine Tori and Jade really doing.
I always take about a month to update, that's going to change. I love this story and I'm a perfectionist so it does take me a while to actually write a chapter, but I will try and upload more regularly :)