A/N: First, I'm sorry for not getting to more review replies. I appreciate them all and read them carefully, but I'm in the final weeks of the most heinous job I've ever had. My horrible boss decided to schedule elective knee surgery this week and will be out for the final two weeks I'm there, so things are insane. Great timing.
But never fear, the update schedule won't suffer!
Thanks to my pre-reader Cejsmom. She puts up with last minute emails.
Chapter 21
"And how do you know Mr. Masen?" she asked with impatience. Carlisle and Edward were both staring at me intently. And I was tired; I didn't want to lie. I just wanted to be happy. So I answered honestly. How bad could the truth really be?
"I'm his girlfriend," I told her.
My announcement was a bombshell, but a subtle one. Time didn't freeze, and things continued business as usual in the bullpen as the group prepared Edward for his demo. Everyone who heard my declaration kept his or her reactions close to the vest. Heidi smiled widely and clutched her phone tighter. She'd have to investigate further, but she was sitting on a possible scoop, and she knew it. Renata seemed oblivious to our exchange, and I knew Edward hadn't told her who I was. I took in the faces of those around me as Heidi drew another breath, preparing to ask more questions.
Alice stared at me in shock with her mouth hanging slightly open. She was used to years of my reticence, and although I had told her I was prepared to rekindle things with Edward, she had not expected something like this.
Edward's first reaction was a huge, glowing smile. According to what he'd said the other day, he'd been waiting for a public declaration like this for six plus years. But he schooled his features quickly. He didn't want to make a big deal, especially in front of Carlisle and the press.
Carlisle's eyes widened; I could see the whites all the way around his irises. There was shock but also betrayal in his face, and I felt a twinge of guilt. The surprise gave way to something else almost immediately. His eyes grew hard and flat, and his mouth tightened into a grim line. He turned away from me to face Demetri Felix, the pitching coach, who may or may not have heard what was said. He could obviously care less, having more important things to worry about than the love life of his employee.
Carlisle didn't look at me again. Anyone who didn't know better would have thought the comment bounced off him, or maybe that he hadn't even heard it. But I knew he had, and I was more than concerned about what might come next.
Heidi could sense my focus on something behind her, so she turned to see what it was. Edward hastily turned away before she could catch his reaction to my statement and gave Demetri his full attention. Soon, he, Carlisle, and Demetri were deep in conversation, and Jasper trotted over to the catcher's area, donning some protective gear that had appeared from somewhere.
"I thought Edward was single," Heidi commented innocently with a gleam in her eye. Alice sidled up to me and subtly put herself in the line of fire.
"No," I shook my head and cursed myself for the crack in my voice and the unusually high pitch that accompanied my answer.
"You know, I think that's all we are really prepared to say tonight. Don't you think you better watch the baseball?" Alice interjected purposefully, nodding toward where Edward was stretching on the mound. Demetri was talking quietly in his ear, clutching a ball in his hand.
Heidi jerked around and realized that she'd better pay attention to her actual assignment, but I wasn't stupid enough to think she wouldn't research me the second she left. Alice clutched my forearm and towed me back to the bench on the side of the bullpen and forced me to sit close to her so she could mutter quietly in my ear.
"Bella, I spent years trying to get you to take a chance on something, and this is when you finally take my advice?" she marveled. I let out a tentative chuckle.
"I guess I'm a slow learner, Alice. Go big or go home," I tried to joke. She huffed.
"I'm proud of you, but it's a little soon with Edward, don't you think? And what about your job and everything you've worked for?" she wondered.
"I don't care," I answered, and I realized that I really, really didn't. I'd been living a half-life, and even though I might have jeopardized my dearest held goal, I was no longer sure that I'd even want that goal if it meant my life would continue as it was. Alice just patted my arm in reply, and we turned to watch Edward in silence.
He started out by just tossing the ball back and forth with Jasper, like a run of the mill game of catch. Demetri was giving him instructions, but they were too quiet for us to hear. Then, Edward wound up into a real pitching stance. I could see the concentration on his face.
He threw a couple of curveballs, and they each smacked satisfyingly against Jasper's glove. Then, he moved on to a slider and then a change-up. I thought I saw him wince after the last one. Demetri called something to Carlisle who was standing opposite of where Alice and I sat. He shook his head and made a slashing movement with his hand. Edward seemed to argue for a minute but gave in. So, no fastballs, I thought.
Demetri patted Edward on the back and appeared pleased with the bare bones exhibition. Jasper took off his mask and glove and grinned at Edward, shaking his catching hand exaggeratedly as if in pain. Edward nodded at what Demetri was saying, his face still serious with a thousand yard stare. Jasper and Carlisle jogged over to the mound to join the conference. Heidi approached them slowly, and finally they acknowledged her and welcomed her to the group. They began to drift back inside the dugout.
Now that Edward was no longer pitching, I registered how turned on I'd been by his display of athleticism. Of course, it was nothing compared to what he was capable of when healthy, but he was sexy as hell in that uniform, too long hair sticking out from under his helmet, pants tight across his fantastic gluteal muscles.
"Put your tongue back in your mouth," Alice laughed next to me. "Let's go back inside and wait in the media room. I'm dying for an orange soda," she suggested. I pulled myself together enough to follow her.
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Carlisle didn't acknowledge me again for the rest of the evening meeting. Heidi tried to talk to me again, but Edward cut her off at the pass. Renata finally looked at me curiously. We left with Alice and Jasper after nine o'clock. Demetri was apparently pleased by what he'd seen and ready to give the GM a positive report about Edward's chances for returning to the rotation on time.
I felt bad because I could tell Edward's enthusiasm was tempered by his concern over what I'd said to the reporter. He was dying to ask me about it, that I could tell by the quick glances and crinkled brow he kept throwing at me. I realized that in the past I'd have been worried he was upset about me declaring our relationship without discussion. Now, I was confident in his feelings for me and mine in him. So that particular insecurity had not crossed my mind until far after the event.
Jasper obviously wanted to come up and rehash the evening, but Alice tugged his arm and insisted she was tired and wanted to go straight to the garage and collect their car. He frowned at her, but I saw her cock her head to the side and give him a loaded look. He hadn't heard what I'd said, but I had no doubt that she'd fill him in on the way home. I idly wondered what he'd think about it, not caring too much. This was between Edward and me.
We rode the elevator in silence, neither one of us really knowing what to say. Edward stared at me with a deep intensity and stood as far from me in the small space as it would allow. I now understood that when he looked at me like that it meant he was trying to keep control, to keep his hands off me while security cameras watched us.
I was ready and willing when he allowed me to enter the condo just in front of him. I turned to face him immediately and caught him slamming the door with his foot before he grabbed me by both shoulders, effortlessly lifting me and pinning me against the front door. His lips were on me before I could say anything. Not that I wanted to right then.
He loomed over me, leaning so his face was even with mine. His lips covered my own desperately, and he moved his hands so they were braced against the wood of the door. I could move away if I wanted to or needed to. But I didn't.
I lifted my hands and ran them up his back underneath his t-shirt, lamenting the fact that he'd changed out of his uniform before we left the ballpark. His tongue delved deep in my mouth, but finally he groaned and pulled away. But he brought me with him, clutching me to his chest and burying his face in the hair on the top of my head.
"Bella, why did you do that?" he asked hoarsely. "The media is going to be all over you. And Dr. Cullen heard what you said. You know that, right?" he asked. I pushed him away slightly and kicked off my shoes, moving to collapse onto his awesome leather sofa. He stood in the entryway watching me hungrily. He was excited by my declaration, no matter what words he was speaking.
"Edward, I'm tired of lying. To others and especially myself. I'm tired of putting everything above my own feelings. I want to be like Rosalie," I finished my speech sulkily, and leaned back against the armrest of his couch, throwing one arm dramatically over my eyes. He laughed softly.
"Well, I won't lie then and avoid telling you how happy I was to hear what you said. You never called yourself my girlfriend. Not once all those years ago. But I have to wonder about your timing," he sat down next to me tentatively and raised my feet into his lap. I felt his thumbs digging into the arch of my left foot and couldn't help the groan that escaped me.
"Damn, Edward, are you good at everything?" I asked rhetorically as he continued the world's best foot massage. He chuckled again.
"No, not relationships. Or did the last six years not clue you into that?" he asked. I moved my arm and rolled my eyes at him. But then, I tried to get serious.
"So, are you happy with how things went tonight? What did Coach Felix say?" I asked. He beamed at me.
"It felt great to throw the ball again. Everyone seems pleased, and they are confident that I'll be on track for a spin through the Minors in early May," he told me. He was almost vibrating with excitement as he relayed this to me. Then he frowned.
"So, let's ignore the media part of this for a minute. How will Dr. Cullen take what you said tonight?" he questioned me soberly.
"I don't know," I shrugged and told him honestly. "He ignored me for the rest of the evening after he heard it." I felt some of the uneasiness creep back through my earlier bravado as I related this.
"Hmmm," Edward murmured, having dropped my feet and moved to lean over me once I dropped my arm. He pressed me into the sofa, his chest against my own, as he nuzzled his face into the hollow of my shoulder. "I guess you need to go home and get some sleep before tomorrow," he said with regret, his voice muted against my neck. I took a deep breath. I was in uncharted territory.
"No," I told him firmly, running my fingers over his back and scratching his scalp. He let out a low moan at the feeling. "Sleep is overrated." My pronouncement was firm. Edward reared back to look me in the eye.
"Are you sure?" he asked with concern. But I could see the light of hope in his eyes. I smiled, feeling surer than I had in years.
"There's no point in taking this slow, Edward," I said, echoing his words from years ago. He blinked slowly and searched my face for any trace of indecision. And he found none. I saw his expression change from tenderness to hunger in an instant.
Edward's lips crashed against my own, and I parted them, allowing him entry. Our tongues caressed each other, and I felt Edward's fingers tracing a burning path down my shoulders and further down along my sides. He paused at my hips, and those deft fingers dove underneath my top to caress their way back upward along bare skin.
I brought my hands up to his face, cupping his jaw on either side. I deepened the kiss with a moan, scraping my teeth along his lower lip. Edward responded by dipping his fingers underneath the sides of my bra, and his thumbs inched forward to brush gently against my nipples. I groaned wantonly in response and moved my hands away from his face to raise my arms above my head. Edward stared dumbly for a moment, but quickly moved to pull my top over my head when he realized what I wished.
Edward paused, staring down at me and sitting on the edge of the couch, when I was laid before him in only my bra. The cold air caused my nipples to pebble further as the lace was a poor barrier. Edward's hungry expression turned positively predatory as he watched. My top became litter on his living room floor as he dropped it.
"Bella," he said in a choked voice, "please, let's take this to the bedroom." I sat up quickly and began to unbutton his shirt as fast as I could. He finally grasped my wrists in his large palms to still me. I let a slow grin overtake my face as we stared at each other. Finally, I acquiesced with a slow nod.
Edward moved like lightening and was off the couch before I could register that he was gone. Then, he was sliding one arm under my back where it leaned against the armrest and the other underneath my knees. He scooped me up easily and started down the hallway I'd noticed before.
"Hey!" I protested, but he pecked my forehead in what was becoming my favorite gesture.
"Hush," he admonished. "Let me take care of you." I sighed in contentment as much as I could in this highly aroused state. The hallway passed in a blur of dove grey walls and an extension of the dark hardwood floors from the rest of the condo. Before I knew it, he was using his shoulder to push through a doorway into a room.
The master suite, as I presumed that was where we were, was painted a soothing light blue with dark, almost black, wood furniture. It was dominated by a large four-poster bed and was very masculine in its design. Edward deposited me on the duvet cover, which was a pattern of light blue, dark grey, and light grey. I bounced on the heavenly surface, while he ripped the unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders, baring his chest to me.
I gazed up at his chiseled abs and chest, hardly believing that what I was seeing was real. He stilled slightly to study me where my chest heaved, covered only by a lacy blue bra. He growled and leaned over me suddenly. His lips settled on my neck just below my jaw, but his hands drifted lower to work on the button of my pants.
"I like your room," I said as conversationally as possible. "The design suits you." He dragged my pants down my legs until I was bare before him, clad only in my blue bra and matching lacy panties. He smiled suggestively as our eyes met.
"Yes, well, I used my mother's designer. She's very good," he replied, equally as casually, but I could see his hands trembling.
"Oh, well, I could use the name. I might need some help when I get my new place…oof!" I exclaimed as Edward launched himself squarely on top of me, pressing my body into the mattress. I could feel his hardness pressed against my belly and my previous teasing died in my throat. It turned into a moan when Edward thrust his lower body against me.
"No more talking, please," he requested in a tight voice. His tongue dove into my mouth, and he thrust again. I moaned in response, a wordless agreement. My hands freed themselves from where they were pinned by the sides of his body, and I wiggled them between us, searching for the button of his pants. He rolled slightly to accommodate my wishes, and I found the mechanism and made quick work. I pushed the material with my hands, and he assisted me in sliding them down his legs until they pooled on the floor.
Edward rolled further, so we were lying side by side but facing each other. I was clad only in my bra and panties, although they left little to the imagination. He was wearing only a pair of navy boxer briefs. He leaned in for what I thought would be another searing kiss, but he simply pushed his forehead into mine and closed his eyes.
"Bella, I've dreamed of this for six years. I want you desperately, but I want you forever. Tell me now, if we aren't on the same page," he said hoarsely.
"Edward," I touched his cheek so he would open his eyes. When they focused on me, they were green beyond belief. How could I ever have thought I'd be all right without him? "I'm in this. All in. Did you not hear what I said tonight?" We both closed our eyes again, and our lips drifted together, fusing into one. Edward rolled us so I was on my back, and he hovered over me. I opened my eyes to see his open too, and we remained locked like that as he reached behind me to unfasten the clasp on my bra. When it was open, I shimmied until it fell off both shoulders.
Edward gazed at my bare breasts in clear admiration, and I felt almost self-conscious as he leaned forward to capture my left nipple with his mouth. He sucked on it and rolled it between his lips until I was gasping in pleasure. Then, he pulled away to tug on my panties until I lifted my hips enough to allow him to pull those away, too. I was completely naked before him.
He stared at me with an expression that I could only interpret as awe. I felt more beautiful than I ever had under his heated gaze. He quickly moved to divest himself of his boxer briefs until we were naked together. His erection was as large as I remembered, and it strained between us. I couldn't help but reach down and stoke it tentatively. He groaned and squeezed his eyes closed before grasping my wrist and pulling my hand away. I made a small noise of protest.
"Bella, I've dreamed of this for too long. If I don't get inside you right now, I won't last," he declared. He ran his left hand up to cup my breast and used his right to fumble the bedside drawer open, retrieving a condom from inside. I froze, but he was in tune with me, understanding my reaction.
"I bought these last Saturday after I left your apartment. I put them in the drawer. I hoped, but I couldn't have guessed it would happen this way. I haven't been with anyone since…since I left Atlanta," he promised softly, his lips tickling my ear. I appreciated him not using Victoria's name, even though the slight mention of her cooled my fire just a bit. He ripped open the foil packet, leaning back on his knees, giving me an opportunity to ogle his perfect male specimen. Once it was rolled on, he hovered over me again. I could feel his hardness nudging against my inner thigh.
"Let me love you, Bella. Give in, because I do love you," he whispered. Those words, which had given me such pause in the past, no longer provoked me. Hearing them was like taking a deep breath of fresh air. It just felt right. So, I whispered back in answer.
"I love you, too, Edward. Let's show each other," I gasped. And with that he delved into me purposefully with a swallowed groan. He stilled once he was fully inside me. I felt complete for the first time in years, and I could feel his shallow pants coming quickly as he struggled to gain composure. I ran my nails encouragingly over his back, and he began to thrust.
He quickly established a rhythm, and I knew I would fall apart quickly. I raised my hips to meet his every pass, and soon we were both grunting in pleasure. He kissed my face, neck, and lips frantically until I couldn't take it any longer. The waves of pleasure crashed over me, giving way to incoherency.
I registered that Edward's movements became erratic, and that he buried his head into my shoulder with an emphatic shout. I could feel him pulsing inside me as I came back to Earth. We were panting together, and I was running my hands over the smooth planes of his back as he kissed my temple fiercely.
"Holy shit," Edward commented breathlessly. "That was better than I remembered." I let out a breathy laugh of my own.
"I'll second that," I told him. He kissed me quickly and heaved himself off of me.
"I'll be right back," he promised, making his way into the master bath to clean up. He returned in only a moment and coaxed me off the duvet in order to pull it back revealing dark grey sheets. He slid in next to me and kissed me chastely, even though I was already thinking about round two.
"Let's get some sleep," he suggested. "Morning will come faster than you expect, and I suspect you'll need your wits about you tomorrow." His words reminded me of the shit storm I could probably expect, and the thought sobered me. He could feel me tense.
"Let me hold you," he requested, kissing my ear lobe. So, I snuggled into his warmness and sank into an uneasy slumber.
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I was very wrong. Sleep was not overrated. I'd known that from years of on call duty, but I couldn't bring myself to regret the night before when I hauled my tired ass out of bed at 6 am in order to get home in time to shower and change before clinic. I tried to be stealthy and quiet and silenced my cell alarm as quickly as possible. I slid slowly out of bed, but I hit a snag when I was almost free of the covers.
"Where are you going?" Edward complained sleepily, dragging me back towards him by the waist. I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me in the dark of his bedroom. He had outstanding window shades.
"Sshh," I whispered to him, trying to free myself from his strong grip. "Go back to sleep. I've got to go to work." He groaned and flipped me around to face him. He deposited a quick peck on my lips and pulled away to the far side of the enormous king sized bed.
"I won't pout, but only because I know you need to be on the ball today," he said sulkily into his pillow. I laughed at his grumpiness.
"I thought you were a morning person," I observed. He rolled over so he could peer at me with one eye.
"I am," he said simply and rolled further so I could see his grinning face. And the way the sheet tented below his waist. I could feel my blush, although I didn't think he could see it in the dark room. "You'd better get in the bathroom and close the door before I change my mind," he teased. I giggled and hurried out of the room.
Once inside his bathroom, I splashed some water on my face and used Edward's toothbrush. I reveled in his luxurious marble bathroom and admired the size of his shower and tub. I mentally promised myself to spend some quality time in both very soon.
Edward was pouring coffee from a very fancy looking machine when I came out. He was dressed in low-slung pajama pants and looked positively sinful. I lamented the day ahead, wishing I could stay behind and spend more time with him. He handed me a travel mug of black gold when I reached him, leaning against his side. He kissed my temple and snaked his arm around me as I accepted the drink from him.
"What are you up to today besides rehab with Jasper?" I asked. He grinned.
"Well, it is Friday, so I was hoping to take my best girl to dinner," he said. I couldn't help my answering dopey smile.
"That can probably be arranged," I agreed. He gave me a light shove away from him.
"You'd better go while I'll still let you," he told me teasingly. I rode the elevator in a haze of happiness. I couldn't believe that I might get everything I'd ever wanted, after all. Well, I had to deal with Carlisle first, I reminded myself. That thought made me serious once again.
My phone buzzed while I was driving home, and I glanced at the screen. It was Rosalie. I wondered why in the world she would be calling so early. It wasn't even 7 am yet. I let it go to voicemail since I hadn't connected my blue tooth.
I rushed around my apartment, running more behind than I'd expected. I connected my blue tooth to see what Rosalie needed while I drove a little too fast toward the McNair Campus.
"Bella, call me," was all she said in a rather ominous tone. I was just pulling into a parking space and didn't have time to call her back. I wondered what in the world she could be calling about, but I didn't have time to devote to that thought as I entered the employee entrance and hurried inside.
I dropped my things in the fellow's office and quickly made my way to the nurses' station. I had just pulled up the schedule and started to peruse it when Tanya spotted me. I saw her face light up, and she made her way toward me purposefully. Geez, I really couldn't take her this early on a day when I was so tired.
Just then Irina, one of the other nurses walked into the room. She took in Tanya and her progress in my direction in an instant. I was shocked when her eyes widened, and she took several hasty steps forward to grab Tanya by the arm. Tanya turned away from me and toward Irina in surprise. Irina shook her head minutely at Tanya, whose face turned into a sour pout. She turned back to me with a longing expression, and Irina muttered something quietly in her ear. Tanya shook her off and stalked off to the triage area. Irina stared at me with an unreadable expression.
I didn't have time to examine the exchange. Carlisle still hadn't appeared in the clinic area, so I decided to take the bull by the horns and head to his office. I was sure we had lots of things to say to each other. I started down the hallway but met him mid-stride before I reached his office. He stared at me blankly.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. A chill ran up my spine. What could he possibly mean?
"Excuse me?" I asked with confusion. Carlisle's expression morphed into something foreign, something angry and hostile. I'd never seen such a look on his face in all the years I'd known him.
"You're not needed here," he snarled at me. I stared at him in shock, my mouth hanging open.
"What?" I asked feebly.
"You heard me," he answered harshly. "I don't want to see you in my clinic. I will, however, see you in a meeting with Dr. Volturi at 12:30 on the dot at the department offices," he spat and brushed past me on his way to the clinic. I stood staring after him long after he'd disappeared. I'd known that today would probably be difficult, but this scenario had never crossed my mind. I swallowed carefully and ran my hands over my face, trying to decide what I needed to do now.
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Okay, I should probably just stop apologizing for cliffies since I pretty much leave them every chapter, right?