I lay wide awake; the bright summer sunlight from my bay window bathed my skin as I lay on my side. I'd tried several times to close my eyes again, trying to force myself back into sleep, but my mind was having none of it. What had happened yesterday was something I didn't want to deal with today, yet I had no choice about that now. It had been a long night and after Tori finally coming out of the bathroom and moving into my bed it had taken me another hour at least to drift off back into sleep. My mind was filled with unwanted feelings and emotions about what had happened between myself and Beck at the beach.
Half asleep, I got out of bed, and entered the bathroom, leaving Tori to sleep. I stopped beside my mirror checking my face. For an instant, I couldn't recognize the person reflected in it. I'd changed so much this summer and yet no one knew about it but me. I wasn't the same person I'd ever been and nor would I ever be again. I blinked hard at myself, before splashing cold water on my face and getting myself ready for the day.
"Jade?" A familiar voice called from outside the bathroom. "Jade?"
I pulled my hair into a loose ponytail and tiptoed past the sleeping girl who now had the duvet half around her body and half on the floor, a smile pulled across my face as I saw her. "What?" I questioned as I held my bedroom door shut, shuffling just into sight of the staircase.
My Mom stood at the bottom of the stairs, although it was still early in the morning I could tell that the colourful drink in her hand was most definitely alcoholic. "Some one's here to see you."
"Who?" I barely moved as I answered her coldly.
"It's Beck!" Jett squealed as he raced to the door. "Beck!" He called out again, pulling the door open.
At the bottom of my staircase, stood awkwardly and looking totally out of place was Beck. My heart dropped to my stomach as I realised what was going on.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I bounded down my stairs so fast I almost tripped over my own feet. I gave a death stare like no other as I reached Beck. My face was glazed for a split-second and then transformed into a frown, my lips pursed together and my eyes unblinking, as I waited for him to answer.
"Jade, don't be so rude." My Mom pitched in, fake shock in her voice.
"Go away, now." I didn't know who I was saying it to, Beck, my Mom, the world.
A chuckle left my Mom's lips as she turned and grabbed Jett's hand. "Come on, let's leave the wicked witch of the west with Beck."
"But I wanna play rocket ship with Beck, Mom!" Jett tried to fight his hands off but gave into my Mom as he was dragged further away from us.
I waited for the kitchen door to slam shut before repeating myself. "What the hell are you doing here?" My foot tapped against the hard floor in an attempt to control my anger.
"It's your birthday tomorrow." Was his simple reply. He spoke with such ease, as if yesterday hadn't happened and everything was normal.
"Well done, Captain Obvious."
"I got you a present."
"I don't want it."
"Well I have no use for it. And I got it for you.." He held out the small gift in his hand.
"Just leave." I held the front door open. The sun was blazing already; its an unbearable heat made me not want to leave the confines of my air-conditioned house. So I held back, just leaning on the door beside Beck who wasn't moving.
"I also wanted to apologise about yesterday. I'm just not totally over you and knowing you're over me and seeing someone else drove me a little crazy I guess." He started to blush, his shyness becoming apparent.
My mindset changed as he spoke, I realised Tori, the girl who no one was meant to know about was upstairs. She'd wanted to keep us a secret. Beck couldn't find out who she was or that she even existed. I had to get him out and quick. "Thanks for the present, and the apology. Now leave." I snatched the gift from his hand, throwing it against the staircase.
"That's it?" He scoffed, watching as the box bounced down a few steps before coming to a standstill on the floor.
"What do you want from me?" I groaned. "You wanted me to have the damn gift and now I have you're mad too? What's your deal?"
"You're not the same Jade. You've changed."
"I don't want to talk about this or do this again. I've moved on, I'm happy. You need to move on and then it's all sorted. Got it?" I sounded like a broken record already.
Jett snuck up behind me, almost making me jump as he pulled at my arm. "Jade, can I play rocket ship with Beck now?"
"NO!" I yelled a little too hard.
Jett jumped back, his eyes grew misty as they fluttered with tears that rolled down his reddening cheeks and over pursed lips. His eyes fell onto Beck who stood looking helpless. "Fine, I know who will play with me!" He sniffed several times as he wiped his eyes, turning and running up the stairs behind me, his hands covering his ears as he ran.
"Jett, wait. I'm sorry!" I shouted after him, feeling defeated as he ran into my room, ignoring my attempts to comfort him. "Can you just leave now?" I turned my focus back onto Beck.
"He's here isn't he?"
"No." I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Oh my god, just go!"
Beck sneered. "The guy you're seeing is here. That's who Jett's gone to play with, right?"
"No, HE isn't here. Now fuck off!" I could feel my face glowing red in anger.
"I know it's none of my business-"
I cut him off." No, it's damn well not. So get out of my house."
He paused for a moment, silence filling the empty space. "I just want to be friends, Jade. We hang out with all the same people, we're in the same classes. I just don't want everything to change." He tried a different approach, his face soft, his tone calm.
"Okay." There was no point in fighting him anymore and for once, he had made sense. "We'll be fine. Just friends. No more of this trying to get me back bullshit. Got it?"
"Got it." He half smiled although I could tell he felt defeated. "So he's really not here?"
I smirked and cocked my eyebrow at him. "Nope. He is for sure not here."
"Have a good birthday, Jade." He pushed the front door fully open now, letting in the rest of the July sunshine into my hallway. "Tell Jett I'm sorry we couldn't play."
"Thanks. He'll be fine." I shut the door the moment he'd stepped outside, crashing back against the hard wood and releasing a deep sigh of relief.
"Jade, what's going on?" Tori stood at the top of my staircase, her eyes blinking open and closed slowly, a yawn escaping from her mouth. "Jett woke me up and then I heard yelling." She always looked so cute when she'd just woken up. Her tanned body was still perfectly on show even though my pyjamas swamped her.
"It's nothing, don't worry." I began walking upstairs towards her, picking up the gift Beck had given me and putting it in my pocket.
"Oh no, has Beck gone already?" Jett met me halfway up the stairs, his eyes big and red from earlier.
"Yes. I'm sorry for yelling at you just then." I pulled him into a brief hug.
"Ugh, I miss out on everything." He pushed me off and ran back downstairs and out of sight.
"Who's Beck?" Tori followed me slowly into my bedroom.
"No one important." I felt a panic come over me as I spoke. After what happened last night she'd be so pissed off if she knew who Beck really was.
Tori scrunched her face up at me, slight confusion in her eyes. "Okay." She trailed off. "I'm sorry about last night and for being so grumpy. I was just being stubborn and I let my jealously get the better of me."
"It's okay, I know you're a total drama queen." I changed the subject quickly. Stealing a kiss from Tori before she could say anything else. "So, do we have any plans for today? Or is it going to be a pool day?"
Her caramel eyes sparkle as I kiss her. It's always like its our first kiss with Tori. We're both still so infatuated with one another, yet she shows it all over her face every time we're intimate. "I want to go to the beach, but I'm guessing after your traumatic walk back from there yesterday that you don't want to do that?" Tori giggled at me. "Oh and that sunburn is turning a beautiful shade of red, Jade."
I glanced in the mirror at my bare shoulders. They began to sting as I touched them gently. "Shit." I mumbled. "I didn't realise I'd burnt this bad."
"I bet you didn't wear any sunscreen, did you?" Tori reached beside her and grabbed a bottle of after sun, rubbing the gel over me as she lectured. "You'll need to sit in the shade today and let your shoulders cool off. Okay?" She finished rubbing me and planted the softest kiss imaginable on my shoulders. "You're so silly, Jade."
"Yes, Mom." I rolled my eyes at her. "I suppose we should have a pool day then, right?"
Tori nodded. "Yep, it's hard finding shade at the beach. Plus it's probably best we have a chilled out day before tomorrow." She followed the sentence with a questionable smirk.
"What's going on tomorrow? I told you I didn't want anything big."
"You'll see. You are going to love it, I swear! I know you didn't want to do much, but it's your sweet sixteenth. I had to do something for you!" Her whole face lit up. "Well even if you're not, I'm excited!"
"How can I be excited when I have no idea what's going on." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I hate surprises."
"I know." Tori winked.
...
I spend almost the entire day sat miserably in the shade as I watched Tori and the rest of my family enjoy the glorious weather in the pool. The sun was so hot that I could see heat rising from the concrete surrounding the pool area. The only bit of shade in my garden being a large palm tree which I'd got comfy under hours ago.
"Come on Jade, get in the pool!" Jett kicked his little feet in an attempt to splash me. As usual, he'd forgotten quickly about us falling out and he was back to being my biggest fan again.
"No, I'm already burnt to hell."
"Language." My Mom says, not even looking up from her magazine.
"There's a bit of shade over there Jade, in the shallow end." Jett was trying her hardest to get me in the pool. He was trying to tread water even though he had a rubber ring around him for protection.
"Just play with Tori."
"Yeah, what's wrong with me?" Tori teased, splashing him.
"She doesn't know how to play shark attack though!" Jett moaned dramatically.
"Well teach me then? It's sounds like a fun game!" Tori responded, sounding interested. I loved watching how she interacted with Jett, she was so natural at being maternal and it was so beautiful to watch. She did a much better job at playing with Jett than either of my parents or myself did.
"Okay. So one of us is the shark and one of us is just a swimmer in the sea and you have to get from one end of the pool to the other without the shark getting you. Got it? Oh and the sides of the pool are a safe point where the shark can't get you." Jett explained so fast I was surprised Tori even understood what he was saying. He was almost shaking in excitement as she agreed to play with him. "I'll be the shark and you be the swimmer."
Tori nodded. "You're never gonna get me, Mr Shark!"
"You're going down, swimmer! Right down to hell!"
"JETT, language!" Our Mom finally looked up, but only for a second to shoot daggers at her young son.
A half-suppressed laugh left my lips at Jett. Within moment of them beginning their game I dive bombed in to join them, grabbing at Jett's legs and Tori's body and pulling them both under.
"No fair, I'm the shark!" Jett sulked as he reached the waters surface again, gripping onto the side of the pool away from me.
Tori gasped for air with shock on her face as she broke the waters edge. "I totally thought that was Jett for a moment." She chuckled to herself. "He's right though, no fair."
"Well I'm the megalodon shark. The biggest shark in the world. So I win." I stuck my tongue out at my brother, making his pout turn into a giggle.
"And I thought I was the geek." Tori sniggered at me.
"Hey, I like sharks. They're dangerous, have really sharp teeth and they eat people. What's not to like?"
She rolled her eyes at me. "Such a Jade West answer."
"Okay kids, out of the pool." My Mom stood at the edge of the pool, her high heels tapping against the pool tiles. "It's gone six and I need to feed your brother."
"So why do we have to get out?" I questioned, squinting my eyes to look at her properly. "I only just got in too."
"Because he won't get out with you two still in here and messing around, will he?" She clicked her fingers at Jett. "Out now, or I'll get your Father involved." With that Jett rushed out of the pool, slipping on his way to his towel.
"See, he's out now. So you can leave us to it."
"Whatever. Do you want dinner?" I shook my head at her. "Tori, I take it you're staying for dinner?"
"I'm not hungry right now, Mrs West. Thanks for the offer though." Tori was always so polite, even if my Mom wasn't.
"Suit yourselves. Don't stay in too long or else you'll turn into prunes." She walked away making clicking noises with her heels.
"You know what pools always remind me of now?" I cocked my eyebrow at Tori as soon as my family had gone inside.
Her cheeks blushed red as she grabbed an inflatable beside her. "That seems like forever ago."
"I know. Shame we can't make the pool sex a regular thing though." I joked. "I mean beds are great but that night was just wow."
"We don't need any more water added to the equation, Jade. You know that." A cheeky laugh echoed around the garden from her lips. "Your bed works just fine for me, and your desk, and your shower.."
"Touche." I smirked.
We swam towards the deep end of the pool, Tori was floating on one of Jett's inflatable animals as I swam along side her. "So what are we doing for dinner?"
"I've got that all planned out, don't worry." She smiled at me before leaning back on the float to face the sky, her hands trailing along the water and creating ripples around her fingertips and towards me as she moved across the pool. The atmosphere was calm and tranquil as the sun began to lower over the yard, creating light shadows of both Tori and myself. The only sounds being heard were birds tweeting and the water falling from the hot tub and into the main pool. This moment was pure bliss.
...
We'd been walking for ages and all uphill. The only positive to this was the fact that the sun was setting right in front of us. The golden sun slowly sank behind the rocky landscape. Glimmers of light forced their way through the ever growing dark, sending slithers of yellow and orange coloured shafts of light through the land below. Eventually the dimming sun was tucked away behind the rolling hills which rolled on endlessly in front of us. The clouds floated by in soft cotton like puffs of pink and the sky became darker.
"Are we almost there? My feet are killing." I groaned, dragging myself up the hill a few steps behind Tori.
Tori herself was smiling from ear to ear, not a bead of sweat on her or a look of exhaustion. She was carrying a large backpack and even that wasn't slowing her down. "Almost."
"Can you tell me where we're going yet?"
"Nope." She carried on walking ahead of me. "We're close, okay. And this walk will be so worth it, I promise."
I had a slight idea of where we were going but I still wasn't too sure for many reasons. "Alright, I trust you." Excitement started to fill my insides as we got closer to the top. My heat began to beat more profoundly with every step. I'm excited yet nervous all at the same time and familiar butterflies start to flutter around my stomach as we reach our destination. Tori has really outdone herself this time.
The sky is a dark and cloudless ocean of midnight blues and twinkling whites and yellows. There are a thousand stars and I feel so high I could almost touch them. My eyes race around the view trying to take it all in as quick as possible. The lights of the never sleeping city were nearly blinding. Advertisements, signs, and posters hung from almost every building in a dazzling array of colors. From the depths of the man-made wonder, cars honking, people shouting from building to building, and blaring music could be heard from seemingly miles around. Each building was a testament to architecture, whether it be modern design, or classic etching from centuries ago. My eyes land on the large white sign just below me; 'HOLLYWOOD'.
"You like it?" Tori's face shined. Anyone could tell she was in total awe of my reaction.
"This is incredible. I never thought you'd take me here." I babbled.
"I know, you're like not supposed to come this high up or as close to the sign, but I wanted to take you here because it's so special, like you. This is your city, Jade and the sky is your limit."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her. "You had to ruin it by saying something totally gay and cheesy." I place my lips gently onto hers, feeling her slowly taking a breath in as she kisses me back. "Thank you though, this is incredible."
"That's not all. We're having a picnic here. So we can enjoy the view all night long." Tori emptied out her backpack and set up the blanket on the dusty floor beneath us. "I got sushi, your favourite." She wiggled her eyebrows at me and patted the space next to her. "Oh and I got vodka too. Your other favourite." She laughed, her voice echoing across the valley.
We sat and enjoyed the view for hours, pointing out the funny shapes of some stars, listening to the sounds and noises from the city that never sleeps and talking about anything and everything together. It was perfect. It was an easy way to blank out everything that still felt so wrong in my life; Beck and my family life. But for a moment, even though brief it was perfect.
Tori turned to face me after staring at her watch, her eyes starry from the thousands of lights around us. "It's midnight. Happy sixteenth birthday, Jade August West. I love you so much." Tori handed me a red velvet cupcake with a candle on top of it. "Make a wish!"
But that's the thing with wishes, they never come true. Nothing in life is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational. And all good things come to an end. My birthday always means one thing to me, summer is ending soon. That means life goes back to normal. We go back to school and everything changes once again. Nothing can ever stay the same. Nothing ever stays good for too long, especially in my life.
...
A/N - I suck at updating regularly and I'm sorry.
Thank you for still following, favourting and reviewing! You guys are amazing :)
I hope you enjoyed this update. Hopefully I won't take too long updating again... ;)