Today's installment picks up after EPOV Ch 25 ends and follows Chapters 11-12 of BPOV.
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February 15, 2014
I tried to stay in bed, but my mind woke early and would not let me rest. The surroundings were unfamiliar still; Esme Platt's designs had turned out well, but it didn't feel like home yet. So by 6:30 am, I was in my new kitchen bent over a fancier than necessary coffee machine trying to shake off the memory of my encounter with Bella yesterday.
I'd felt awfully hopeless when I'd ducked out of that employee entrance yesterday afternoon, jogging through the endless lot, hot sun bouncing off the rows of cars, while I searched for my 'Vette. My elbow was shot, Dr. Cullen had no magical answers for me, and Bella had run when I'd tried to talk to her. So what else was new? I rubbed my fists over my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair agitatedly as I pictured her puckered mouth and drawn brow in the clinic yesterday. Unfortunately, that ignited my lingering dreams of her mouth and eyes in a decidedly different expression. I sighed, willing myself to calm down, while I waited for my coffee to brew.
Rice baseball had been my saving grace this Valentine's Day. I'd had no time to overthink the interaction with Bella or Dr. Cullen's hesitant outlook on my elbow since I'd promised Coach Graham I'd be there for the opener with Stanford. This also allowed me to avoid a pity invitation from my parents, definitely win-win. The game didn't start until 7 pm, but I'd gotten there almost as early as Coach Graham, and we hung out talking strategy and old times. The pre-game warm ups had taken up all my attention, and I'd spent extra time chatting with each one of the pitchers and working with them in the bullpen. i was more than holding up my end of the bargain as a guest coach. Rice came away easily with the win, and I headed straight home and fell asleep. No one all evening even mentioned the holiday, and it was almost easy to forget it. But it didn't last.
The sun was barely up, and I was pounding the dirt path around Rice. I needed to keep in good shape, but I had many other places where I could run off my agitation. Probably it was masochistic to run here, where I could remember being with her, but that was my mood this morning. I'd confirmed she harbored only anger and indifference towards me, and I needed to come to terms with it. I could not allow myself to run back down that dark path I'd trod in the early days of the Minors. I had to focus on my rehab.
I pushed myself hard, and I was panting and out of breath by the time I made it back to my car in the Stadium lot. I'd passed a few people on my run, but it was still early for a weekend, and no one had given me a second glance. It felt good to be anonymous this morning. I decided to head home and shower and relax for a few hours before I had to be back on campus for the second in the three game series with Stanford.
I was walking in the door when my cell rang. I checked the screen; it was Jasper. I paused before answering. I had been procrastinating this very call. I had to tell Jasper that I had seen her. I knew he had spoken to Dr. Cullen yesterday after our appointment to go over plans to collaborate on my treatment plan. For all I knew, Jasper was already well aware of Bella's connection to Dr. Cullen. I had worked often with Dr. Marcus's fellow in Atlanta after all. Here's where my supreme cowardice figured in again. Even before the appointment yesterday, I knew I could ask Jasper about her, but I didn't want to face what I'd done all those years ago and have to relive everyone's disappointment in me again. If I'd had any glimmer of hope after seeing her yesterday, it might be worth it, but now I knew that was impossible. I punched the answer button on the screen.
"Hey, Man," I said simply.
"Hey, Dude," he replied. "Congrats to your Owls. Good game last night. You know my Cougars won't be so easy on you next month," he teased. I chuckled at the ribbing.
"Yeah, it's a good group and a nice distraction right now," I admitted.
"Right. That's why I'm calling," he said getting straight to the point. "I spoke to Dr. Cullen at length yesterday afternoon. I figured I'd hear from you yesterday, and I wanted to get your thoughts. Sorry to call so early." He sounded a little peeved, and honestly, I'd had plenty of time to call him yesterday afternoon. It was my career he was trying to save after all. I made up my mind to be a little more grateful and go out of my way not to inconvenience him.
"Yeah, I went to see Coach Graham early yesterday. Just excited to be back, I guess," I explained lamely.
"I sent over my usual elbow program to Dr. Cullen last week before your appointment, and he agreed it has potential now that he's actually evaluated you. He doesn't feel comfortable coming over to the gym. He thinks he'd be stepping on toes over at Texas Orthopedics," I could hear the eye roll in his voice. I hoped these two could see eye to eye well enough to get me better. It would very awkward if I had to lean on the team to fire the team doctor.
"So, how's this going to work then?" I questioned.
"He wants to send his fellow over as an observer," Jasper answered. His voice was bland. I couldn't tell if he knew who that fellow was or was just pissed over Dr. Cullen's refusal to compromise. He was waiting for me to answer, and the silence stretched out as I frantically weighed my options here. Finally, I spoke.
"Yeah, about that…his fellow is Bella Swan," I blurted.
"Oh, you already know then," he sounded surprised.
"I saw her yesterday, " I confirmed. It was Jasper's turn for silence.
"And how was that?" he asked.
"Oh, you know, my ex-girlfriend from 6 years ago is now responsible for my Major League career," I tried to sound flippant and laughed lightly. I doubt he bought it.
"Edward, I'm going to tell Dr. Cullen that he can't send her. This is his responsibility!" Jasper announced. But as much as I wanted to avoid reliving her anger and annoyance towards me yesterday, I knew that would hurt her. And I couldn't have that.
"Nah, man. If that's how Dr. Cullen wants to handle it, then we should just go along. I used to work out with Dr. Marcus's fellow in Atlanta all the time." I hoped I sounded nonchalant.
"Fine, Edward, but you need to focus on rehab. We can get rid of her after the one meeting. I'm still hoping Dr. Cullen will change his mind and man up. Now is not the time for distractions," he admonished. I guessed I'd missed the nonchalant mark. I agreed to meet at the gym on Monday afternoon. The way the conversation ended, I wasn't sure if I should expect to see Bella again or not. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.
I took note of the hostility Jasper seemed to harbor towards Bella still. That, of course, was all my fault, and I had a feeling I was going to have to set the record straight sooner or later or things would blow up again.
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February 16. 2014
Coaching at Rice was no substitute for being with my team in Florida for Spring Training, but I enjoyed myself more in the last three days than I had since I left Atlanta. Several of these young guys had great talent, and I had a blast hanging out in the bullpen, even if I couldn't toss any pitches myself. My mind felt clear, and the banter was clever.
The Owls won easily on Saturday just like Friday, but Stanford managed to score a few runs in the 3rd inning on Sunday. I was pacing in the bullpen while Seth, the pitching coach, shouted instructions at the reliever warming up. He was surely going to be needed in the game before long.
I hadn't thought about anything but baseball all day long, so I was shocked when I glanced up into the stands to see a beautiful brunette sitting alone in the last row of the General Admission area directly across the field from where I was. She looked just like Bella, the way she sat, tossed her hair, crossed her legs. I stared hard trying to make out the details of her face, but she got up and walked away towards the concessions. Seth called me name, trying to get my attention then, and I quickly answered his question. I mentally shook my head at myself. I was losing my mind and seeing her everywhere. Of course, Bella wouldn't come and sit alone at a Rice baseball game, not with all the important things likely going on in her life right now. Thinking about the possibility of seeing her again tomorrow was making me crazy.
Rice lost, but it was still best two out of three, which ain't bad. I headed to my parents for dinner after the game. My dad was off, and my mom was fixing my favorite chicken enchilada casserole for dinner. She was in the kitchen when I arrived, pulling the 'Vette into the empty spot in the garage that always seemed to welcome me.
"Edward, come sit," she called when I came through the mud room. She was sipping a glass of white wine and wearing an apron. I gave her a big squeeze and lifted her off the floor a little. She squealed but wasn't mad. She missed seeing me on a regular basis as much as I missed seeing her. It was so nice to be back home. I sat on one of the stools on the other side of the island, while she flitted around. The casserole was already in the oven and would be done soon. I could see my dad in the adjacent den with a glass of scotch watching ESPN. We chatted a few minutes, and the timer went off on the oven. My dad perked up and drifted into the kitchen; he gave me a smile and handshake when he saw me.
"So, Edward, when can I stop by and see and see what Esme Platt did with your apartment?" she asked as she lifted the dish out of the oven. She had set the dining room table as if this were some auspicious occasion and gestured for us to dish up and move in there.
"Anytime, Mom," I told her. "I've got a big therapy thing tomorrow afternoon. My surgeon and Jasper are getting together to go over the treatment plan with me. But other than that I'm free as a bird." That last bit ended ruefully since even though I tried not to get pessimistic about my elbow, sometimes I couldn't help it. Especially when things reminded me of Bella, which everything seemed to do, the last few days.
"Oh, well, that will be a load off anyway, to have a plan, I think," she said. I nodded, focused on scooping my food. I was picturing Bella, and the way she looked at me when I beckoned her, and she turned away from me deliberately. By now, we all had our food and were situating ourselves at the table.
"So, Esme?" Mom said, back on that subject, trying to sound innocent. "What did you think of her?' My stomach dropped. I couldn't handle this right now. My fork clanged on my plate as I let it go a little too forcefully. My dad silently disappeared and returned with a fresh scotch. He set it on the table next to his glass of white wine.
"Mom, please," I started, but my voice sounded strained and hoarse. She frowned at me and took a bite of the casserole. She chewed thoughtfully, her eyes on my face.
"Esme is a delightful girl. She's spunky. You'd like her, even if just as a friend," she finally said defensively. Mom tapped her fork against her pursed lips. Then she held the fork up and smiled as if she'd had a wonderful idea. "If you don't want me to set you up, then why don't you look up Isabella Swan and see what she is up to these days?" My wine glass was to my mouth, and I inhaled and choked at her unexpected statement. I tried valiantly to catch my breath and formulate a retort, but it took me a minute. She reached around and patted my back. My dad looked decidedly nervous.
"Mom, why, why do you always bring her up?" I pleaded. She just shook her head, now with a deadly serious look on her face.
"Edward, you broke an engagement last year with a woman who loved you over a girl you dated for two months over six years ago. I'm not saying that was a wrong decision, but you can't allow Isabella Swan to run the rest of your life. You either need to find her and fix things, or you need to find her and see that you were wrong about her hold over you. That's all I'm saying." She splayed her hands in front of me, eyes wide, begging me to see it her way. My face felt hot, and I felt like a little kid. I stood up from the table woodenly. My dad finally spoke up.
"Elizabeth, I don't think we need to have this talk right now," he cautioned. She squinted and shook her head at him.
"When, then Edward? Can't you see this is slowly eating him? He can't deal with the elbow and the girl at the same time!" My dad was shooting me apologetic glances, but I felt defeated. Mom wasn't wrong. I started shoveling casserole in my mouth as fast as I could because it was delicious, and I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. My parents continued to quietly argue with each other, while I sat and watched them. It was almost sweet. I was glad the focus was off me for the moment, but I was worried that my mom was right. And I had no idea how to go on from here.
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I pushed myself through a punishing work out at the team facility on Monday morning. I waited to shower at my place, since the world's most advanced and expensive shower had been installed in my bathroom. It had jets from above, below, and all sides. For all I knew, it could take me into space. I also had the sickest sound system on the market; I was really starting to like this place. Debussy filled the room, and I was blissing out on the steam and water massage, when my thoughts drifted to what my mom had said, and I wondered again if I might see Bella today. Then, I remembered I shouldn't think about her in the shower. I abruptly cut off the water and stepped out on the mat. A rude awakening, indeed.
I toweled off and threw on a t-shirt and track pants. My hair was doing its crazy thing, but I ignored it. I'd just put a hat on it, like always. I slumped on the sofa, vaguely thinking about lunch. I still had hours to go until I had to meet Jasper.
I was acutely aware that I was bucking tradition by insisting on working with him, but his firm was just getting off the ground, and I knew the publicity would really seal the deal for him. He'd been a friend to me in the early hard years, and this was the least I could do for him. He had made a great effort to stay in touch with me, when I had drifted away from most everyone else, including my Rice teammates. I didn't like to think how difficult things could easily be again if my elbow didn't get better.
I absently thumbed over the screen of my phone and realized I had a notification on Facebook Messenger. I had a public Facebook page that my PR person, or one of her staffers anyway, kept track of. I knew lots of guys who did their own Facebook stuff for their fans, but that wasn't my thing. I also had a fake page that I used personally. A lot of guys did that so we could send and post stuff to each other or close friends. My pseudonym was Edwin Beethoven, which I, but no one else, thought was hilarious.
I clicked on the message and saw it was a photo from Brady, one of the guys I played with in Atlanta. It was just a funny shot of a few of the guys partying in Florida. I was kind of irritated that he'd send this when I was in the middle of a fight for my career, but that dude was not all that smart. I doubted he was doing any thing passive aggressive. Then, I saw that he'd also sent a link to something in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
It was an engagement announcement. Apparently, Victoria Turner was engaged to James Hunter III. Now I thought Brady was a dick; no way he was that stupid. I searched my thoughts, though, and found this news did not even sting. She was engaged to someone else less than a year after we broke up, and I didn't even care. I should care, I thought, but I didn't. It had been wrong to propose but at least I'd done the right thing by calling it off. I disinterestedly read the rest of the blurb and noticed that Vic's intended was an orthopedic surgeon. Wow, what a weird coincidence. She was going to marry an orthopedic surgeon, and I was obsessed with one.
I threw my phone down onto the cushion next to me, and it instantly rang. I glared at it in trepidation but finally glanced at the screen. It was Kate. Figures.
"Hey, Edward," she started talking immediately without a greeting like she always did, "I'm gonna drive you over to the gym later."
"Hello, to you, too, Katie," I said in my best smart ass voice, and she giggled. I always teased her about her habit. "Why are you doing that?" I wondered.
"No reason," she said breezily. "I just had lunch with Garret, and I'm going back to take him something for dinner later, and I knew you were going over there today. He's working until 7 and then doing some charts. Plus, I haven't seen much of you since you moved into your new place. I'd love to see how it looks now, and I know you're going to be traveling again before we know it." I appreciated her optimistic statement, but I was a little suspicious about this offer for a ride out of the blue. I wondered if she knew about Bella's connection to my orthopedic surgeon and was trying to fish for information. Other than my mother, I had come the closest to sharing all the details of my break up with Kate. But I had certainly held some back. The point was probably moot now, I thought morosely.
"You know that I drive a special edition Corvette, and you drive a Honda CRV, right?" I teased. She huffed. But she was right; we hadn't hung out much since I'd been back, so I agreed to the pick up.
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Kate disappeared off to Garrett's office immediately when we arrived at Whitlock later. Jasper was hovering behind the receptionist's desk waiting for me. The waiting area was empty, thank goodness. The receptionist wore a name tag that read "Lucy", and she smiled and gushed a hello. I think she would have said more if Jasper hadn't been right there, which is probably why he was. I made a mental note to bring her a signed photo or something later. Alice was also hovering near reception, which seemed a little weird. She looked worried.
Jasper escorted me to his office, and I took a seat by the window. He shut the door and sat behind his desk and pulled out the packet of papers that included my treatment plan. He passed it across to me, and I started flipping through it. Just then, his phone rang. "Damn," Jasper muttered. I straightened the papers and laid them down on the desk.
"What?" I asked. He looked up at me.
"Bella Swan is here," he said. A thrill went through me. Was it terror? Excitement? I couldn't tell. But it certainly wasn't indifference.
"So, you didn't tell Dr. Cullen not to send her," I stated. He shook his head.
"Alice wouldn't have it. She said it would hurt Bella's career. I can tell she's hoping that if Bella participates in this project then she and Bella might see more of each other. I know she misses Bella, but she's also worried about you," he explained. I nodded.
"That's what I said, that it would get her in trouble if you complained," I reminded him. "I don't know why you all think I'm such a basket case." Jasper stared at me.
"Do you recall your behavior back in the day, man?" he asked rhetorically. "It's been six years, and I was a finalist for the Cy 2 years ago," I reminded him hotly. "Give me some credit." He rolled his eyes and would have said more, but there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," Jasper called. "Bella…Dr. Swan, it's a pleasure to see you again." He sounded stiff.
I turned back to the window to try and collect myself. It hurt that my friends considered me so fragile, but I guess I'd acted in such a way to cause that. I really had been as immature as Bella believed. I thought I'd handled my national fame pretty well once I was in Atlanta though. I avoided publicity, had stayed in touch with all the folks who'd been with me before, was nice to my mother; I checked all the blocks. But, even as I thought this, I was overwhelmed by the idea that she was back in the same room with me. I looked up just as Alice stepped towards the desk, leaving me with a clear view of Bella.
She was dressed in scrubs today, and her hair was loose around her shoulders. Her face was very serious, and she looked nervous. I wondered why that would be. I was worried I was staring too much, and I could feel Alice and Jasper's gazes on me as well, so I gave a small smile and tore my eyes away quickly.
"Well, we were just going over the therapy plan. Now that Dr. Swan is here, we can move to one of the treatment rooms and start a brief demonstration," Jasper spoke again. He didn't sound very friendly, and I realized that is probably why Bella seemed nervous. I needed to make sure Jasper was nicer to her. "Dr. Swan, you can let Dr. Cullen know that we plan to ask Edward to work though his routine four days a week, along with some electro-stimulation. I'll personally oversee his work-outs."
"No way, Jasper. You don't have the time to devote to that. I can definitely work the routine alone here in your gym, or if you won't have that, then Peter or Garrett can supervise." I exclaimed immediately. I wanted to help the gym with my celebrity, but I couldn't let Jasper give up his free time or possible new clients to work with me. It wasn't fair to him or Alice. And possibly, just possibly, it would mean I had to work with Bella. I considered this more thoroughly with chagrin after I'd already spoken the words.
Jasper opened his mouth to argue, but Bella interrupted him. "I can help with that, too," she said tentatively. Everyone in the room turned to stare at her. I wondered why Alice was even still in here.
"No," Jasper said firmly with a pronounced frown on his face. "That won't be necessary, Dr. Swan." He did not sound nice. I really needed to talk to him, but today was not the day for the real story, but I was worried it would come soon.
"Actually, I worked with Dr. Marcus' fellow in Atlanta," I reminded Jasper. I was sure Bella worked with other VIPs, too, based on that. This time, everyone in the room turned to stare at me. "So, that's not unheard of. I don't want to put you out, Jasper." I added the last bit because I didn't want to make Bella feel uncomfortable like I was clamoring for alone time with her.
Jasper continued to look at me with a thoughtful expression on his face. Then, he turned the same gaze on Bella. It felt too tense, so I turned to the window again, but I could feel Bella's presence in the room. I wondered how I'd ever thought I had gotten over her. I wanted to feel better, so I needed to get over her. Her actions since we had seen each other again definitely indicated that she had gotten over me.
"Yes, Edward is right," Bella confirmed. "I've worked with many of Dr. Cullen's VIP patients. I'd be happy to do what I can in this situation as well." I have no idea what her face looked like when she said this since I was still staring out the window. My girl was professional, and she would not waver in this no matter what kind of pressure Jasper put on her.
"Thank you, Dr. Swan," Jasper finally said. "That's very kind of you to offer. I'm sure we can work out a schedule that will benefit all of us, but especially Mr. Masen." He sounded like he had a stick up his ass. Like none of us were on a first name basis.
"Jasper, can I speak with you for a minute?" Alice asked somewhat timidly, but I recognized the steel underneath that. Jasper was in deep shit. Alice was going to stand up for Bella, and I felt glad about that.
"Not right now. We are heading to the treatment room for a few minutes. I don't want to keep Mr. Masen any longer than necessary. Can we take care of it afterwards?" Jasper asked. Alice stared at him hard and then rolled her eyes. She nodded and left the room. I was totally right. Dude was in trouble. I chuckled under my breath a little bit. I needed a break from the tension.
"Shall we?" Jasper asked, gesturing with his right hand. I stood up and followed Jasper out. I should have let Bella go out first, but I didn't want to have to watch her slim figure go ahead me. I needed to focus on this workout. I walked closely behind Jasper and could hear the others behind us. We seemed a solemn crowd. I wondered if the rest of the people in the gym thought we looked strange. I wondered if they chalked it up to my temperamental celebrity quirks. Jasper headed into one of the private treatment rooms.
"To your liking, Dr. Swan?" Jasper asked. The question was redundant because the room was state of the art. It rivaled our treatment rooms at the ballpark. Unfortunately, I knew that Bella liked to stand up for herself. I was worried that she would shut down Jasper and get herself in trouble. But I reminded myself again that I didn't know her any more. Who knew how she'd handle this borderline mistreatment? She looked at him for a long moment.
"It's, Bella, please," she said in a kind of intense way. I couldn't tell if it was hostile or what. I tried hard to look away and not increase the awkwardness between them.
"Let's start the demonstration," Jasper cut off my musings. He handed Bella several sheets of paper stapled together. "That's for you to take to Dr. Cullen," he explained. "I'll email him an electronic copy, too." We then worked through each of the exercises a time or two, so she could understand Jasper's approach.
Bella asked some very germane questions through this, but she was careful not to touch me. I kept hoping our skin might make brief contact, but it never did. It seemed deliberate on her part. When Jasper was done with his demonstration, he make a solid summary. He nailed it, and I was proud of his professionalism. I think Bella was, too.
"Please let me know when I can help," Bella begged when he was done. I allowed myself to give her my full attention. Jasper did, too.
"Well, I'm not usually in the office on Mondays. Was it very difficult for you to get away this afternoon, Bella?' Jasper asked. He was thinking about blowing off Alice a few minutes ago and did not want to make it worse, I could tell. I watched them both, fascinated, but then realized I was staring so I turned my attention to the tension bands on the wall, seemingly entranced. I think Jasper looked to me for an opinion, but I couldn't be sure, and I could't trust myself to look back at him and her, by default.
"I'm in the OR on Mondays," Bella said proudly. "I'm usually done by 2 pm at the latest, so this is a very convenient time for me." I finally had to look up at her. She sounded so breezy and confident about operating. I remembered when she bragged about putting a single stitch in someone's knee. I spoke up.
"This is a good time for me. I don't want Jasper giving up his free time for this, so I'd appreciate it if you'd be able to help, Bella," I told her, speaking directly to her for the first time today. I felt winded like I'd just run five miles. I looked right at her. She didn't look mad or annoyed. She still looked nervous or scared, I couldn't decide. "I'm happy to do it," Bella said simply, and I nodded at her. It was decided, then. We'd be spending the next ten Monday afternoons alone together. We needed to clear the air, but I wasn't sure if had the balls for it yet.
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Wow, it's great to be back. A few weeks ago, a lovely reader left a review on this story. She said she hoped I knew after all this time, that people were still reading and enjoying. It meant the world to me, so I re-read this story. And I found, I still loved these characters, and I wanted to spend more time with them. I don't know if you are still out there, but if you are then, here you go…
A lot has happed for me in these intervening years. I went through infertility and eventually IVF. I had a kid who is now a precocious 5 year old. My husband retired from the Navy and got a part-time job in corporate aviation. We moved to my home state of SC, and I finally got my real dream job. I got my beautiful painted brick house and joined the country club. Then I got breast cancer and that set us way back. But we are all doing great right now, COVID be damned. So, it feels kind of fun to drop back in here. I can't stay, and don't look for a future take. I'm just not interested in doing that.
I'm sure we all paused and went back in time to enjoy Midnight Sun for a few hours or days recently. That's what I'm going for here. See you soon for the next installment!