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Once the schedule was settled, and the demonstration seemed to be over, the three of us moved into the main gym space. I nodded to Bella, not meeting her eyes, too intimidated by the thought of being alone with her again next week, and tugged Jasper by his elbow back to his office. I glanced around vaguely wondering what had become of Kate.
"What, Edward?" Jasper demanded testily, pulling his arm away from me when we were back in his office. "Don't blame me for making you work with her; you just volunteered, in case you missed it."
"I'm fine working with her," I told him as steadily as possible. He looked surprised and suspicious. "I'm looking at this move back to Houston as a fresh start. I don't want to hold on to any bad blood. Not just with Bella, but everything," I ticked them off on my fingers. "My bad boy behavior in Lynchburg and Mississippi, my broken engagement with Victoria."
I paused my impassioned little speech. "Vic's engaged again," I told Jasper. "To an orthopedic surgeon," I added. We stared at each other, and then we both broke and chuckled a little.
"That's pretty funny, Edward," Jasper said, shaking his head. "You know that, right?" I shook my head again and smiled at him.
"Jasper, you've got to be nicer to her. We can be grown-ups, I promise. But I'm trying to help Whitlock and Associates and laying down road blocks with the Astros team doctor is not going to work," I tried to play on his reason now. The guy was a strategist and tried to keep emotion out of stuff. He started nodding and then nodded faster and let out a big breath.
"Well, then, we should probably head out there now and stop Kate," he stated ominously.
"Stop Kate from doing what?" I asked with alarm. Jasper looked embarrassed.
"Well, she planned to be here and confront Bella, if she decided to show up," he admitted. That explained her oh-so-generous offer of a ride, I thought ruefully.
"Confront her why?" I exclaimed. Jasper shrugged.
"Edward, you guys were practically living together, and when you asked her about a major situation at her work, she ghosted you. Is that not what happened? It always sounded awfully callous and cruel to me." Yep, that was probably a good summary of what Jasper thought happened. I opened my mouth to set the record straight, but apparently time was of the essence.
"Come on, let's go get Kate," I told him tiredly. We left Jasper's office, but the gym was deserted. Jasper motioned for me to head towards the reception area. Just then Alice stepped out of the area and back into the gym. She stopped when she saw us, a look almost like terror on her face.
"Where is Kate?" I demanded. Alice glanced behind her wordlessly beyond the reception area toward the waiting area.
"Is she with Bella?" I ground out. She nodded.
"Goddammit!" I shouted and headed that way.
Kate's voice filtered back into the gym, "…beloved by many across the country, and you are a washed up has been. I cannot understand how you could have ever considered yourself above him in any way, but apparently you did…"
Alice flinched at the words or my expression, I'm not sure. I thought my head was going to explode. I made some kind of motion with my hand, but Alice seemed to understand, and she quickly disappeared through the door to end the confrontation. Kate's voice remained raised, but Alice talked over her. I didn't stay to hear more; I just headed for the refuge of Jasper's office. I was dreading the ride home with Kate. I was going to have to take her down a few notches, and I wasn't sure I could do that without a good explanation.
Moments later, Alice came in with a regretful expression on her face. "Kate said to meet her at the car," she said. She opened her mouth to say more, paused, huffed, looked away.
"Spit it out, Alice," I demanded.
"Edward, I miss spending time with Bella. I want to see more of her," she pleaded. "This was a disaster here today. We need to do better."
"Not a disaster of my making," I pointed out, although it really was my fault, if I thought about it. If I'd been more in control all those years ago, then we wouldn't be having this conversation. Alice nodded and looked back and forth between me and Jasper.
"I'm out of this. I won't pretend Kate's with Edward or play these little games. I'm Switzerland," she declared.
"What's this about me being with Kate?" I asked incredulous. Jasper looked ashamed.
"Well, Kate kind of implied that you were together to scare Bella away," Alice explained with a hard look at Jasper. He'd obviously been involved. I shook my head in disbelief.
"You guys are nuts," I lamented. "Not only is that stupid and childish, but there's no need to scare her away. She's obviously moved on." Alice looked skeptical.
"I don't know, Edward. She's not seeing anyone now, and she hasn't really dated much since you broke up," she told me.
"Yeah, she still lives in that same old apartment," Jasper added. I shook my head stubbornly.
"Look, I know what I saw today and when we talked at Baylor," I insisted. "She's just been busy with work." Jasper and Alice gave each other a long look.
"Kate thinks she's an opportunist," Alice admitted. It was worse than I thought. I rubbed my hands roughly over my face.
"I'm done with this conversation," I said, standing to leave. "I've got enough on my plate with my elbow. Let's focus on that. I'm headed to the car." I looked for Bella on my way out, but she was long gone.
Kate was sitting in the driver's seat with the radio on when I got to her. I opened the door and got in the passenger's seat without looking at her. I stared straight ahead through the windshield. We sat in silence for a minute.
"Are you mad at me?" she finally gasped incredulously.
"Yeah," I said. "That was a stupid stunt." I told her briefly.
"Edward, I cannot believe you would defend her to me, of all people," she started hotly, but I cut her off.
"Kate, I love you, but you went too far. This is about my rehab, my elbow, my future in baseball. You don't have to worry about my precious, little feelings." I ground out, still staring straight ahead. I sensed her anger dissolve, rather than seeing it. The two of us could read each other like twins, but right now we were at a crossroads, and I had no idea what to do next.
"I do, though Edward," she insisted. "That's what you do when you care about someone." I knew her heart was in the right place. I needed to retell the story of my break up with Bella, but I felt too sad and sick to do it right now. Soon, I promised myself.
"Victoria is engaged again…to an orthopedic surgeon," I told her. I finally turned to look at her. She looked guilty.
"Yeah, she sent me an engagement announcement, even though I haven't spoken to her in months" she admitted. I chuckled without humor.
"I guess that was her way to get back at me," I said simply. Kate hummed in agreement.
"I really just want to see you happy, Edward," she stated simply.
"I know you do, and I appreciate that, Katie, but contrary to popular belief I can take care of myself." We pulled up to my building, and she idled in the circular drive.
"What are you going to do?" she asked. I leaned towards the door and opened it slightly. The attentive valet was standing nearby.
"I'm going to apologize to her on your behalf," I said, and she started to interrupt, but I held up a hand. "And I"m going to take care of this myself, thank you very much." She shook her head in disapproval, but I smiled at her and got out of the car. I had already made up my mind to drive over to Bella's apartment and apologize in person. I needed to make sure there was no snub to the Baylor Department of Orthopedics. I also wanted to explore this idea that Jasper, Alice, and Kate seemed to have that I needed protection from Bella. Hopefully, the gate code hadn't changed, because I still remembered it.
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I had a brief moment of worry for Bella's safety as I breezed through the gate at her place with a code over 6 years old. Then my nerves got the best of me. I parked a little bit away, so that she wouldn't see my Corvette from her apartment. I skipped up the steps and stood anxiously outside her door. The deja vu was strong. Finally, I dredged up the nerve to knock. No answer. I knocked again, and nothing. There was no one home. I sighed and trudged down a few steps before I sank onto the concrete. I braced my elbows on my knees and rested my head in my hands.
Where was she? She'd had plenty of time to get home. Maybe she'd had dinner plans, even a date. I began to feel ridiculous for coming here. I done that several times before, just showed up here. It had always seemed to work for me then, but times had changed I reminded myself. I decided to get up and go home and pretend this never happened, but I just felt so tired.
A startled squeak broke my reverie. My head jerked up, and my eyes met a pair of deep, beautiful brown eyes. Bella was here, and I was riveted. She was the one to break the moment.
"Hey," she breathed. I felt confused and dizzy, the wave of deja vu hit me again strongly. She sounded like the old her. I needed to get my act together quickly if I was going to speak to her. I grimaced to clear my head. She started again, sounding more collected and more like the Bella I'd seen today and last Friday.
"I mean, what are you doing here?" I had to look away from her to gather my thoughts. I sighed. Why was this so hard?
"I overheard your conversation with Kate," I told her. I couldn't figure out how to formulate the next part, so I paused. "I was surprised when Jasper told me that you still lived here. You've been in the same place for what…almost ten years? There have to be newer, nicer complexes by now." She seemed a little miffed by my comment, and I hoped I hadn't offended her. God, could I get nothing right? She shrugged and cleared her throat.
"Um…well…I was comfortable here, and it was pretty cheap compared to the new places. A resident's salary doesn't compare with a pro baseball player's, you know?" I had to smile at her gentle ribbing. This also sounded like the old her. I'd always thought we had such a great rapport when we had been together.
"I guess not," I countered and smiled wider. "Responsible for your own rent, these days, huh?" I added. She'd always been so concerned about making her own way without anyone else's help, particularly her mom and stepdad. She smiled back at me proudly and nodded. She hadn't wanted to rely on me either, I thought suddenly, and the pain that came with that was exquisite. It did not feel six years old, and I knew I had to get out of here. I moved to stand and descended the last few steps to stand right in front of her. It felt both too close and too far at the same time.
"Bella, I want to make sure we can do this. Work together, I mean." I blurted. Oh well, light banter had gone out the window. I bent at the knees to look her right in the eye. She looked panicked, like she might run away from me. I mentally kicked myself. Had I learned nothing about pushing this girl too hard in the past?
"Edward, there's nothing I want more," she answered simply, surprising me with her earnestness. I knew she meant that she wanted to make the Whitlock-Baylor partnership work, but it sounded like she meant she wanted me. Hope bloomed in my chest, and I fought hard to tamp it down.
"She really hates you, you know?" I said, my chaotic thoughts jumping to the other part of the apology I'd planned. But Bella seemed to understand. Kate must have been really harsh.
"I'm sure she does. Probably not wrong to do so." She was joking, but I wanted to correct her, tell her she was blameless in all this. But I forced myself to stay casual.
"I told her she was off base, that we all have to work together, and she agreed to try," I promised her. "Jasper, too," I added. She shifted her bag and looked uncomfortable. I knew I should let her get inside. I was taking up her evening, but I couldn't tear myself away yet.
"Well, then, next Monday, we'll get serious about it all," she promised, and my heart soared. I knew she didn't mean us, but I still felt like a fist pump was in order. I only nodded, trying to hide my reaction.
"So how long have you and Kate been together?" Her question made me lightheaded. It had been a stupid charade that Jasper and Kate had created, and I needed to correct it immediately. But the fact she asked meant she might care. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I was so emboldened with the swirl of emotion.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets and to another step towards her. I leaned over her; we were only inches apart. My muscle memory knew what it would feel like to just lean in, but I managed to hold myself back. I did allow myself to brush a lock of hair off her forehead though. My hand burned where I touched her. I couldn't decide if I was making a huge mistake or a giant victory. I let my giddiness answer her.
"Now, Bella, I don't think that's your business, is it?" I didn't look back, I just walked to my car. I didn't want to press my luck. I was sure I'd make a giant ass out of myself if I stayed a second longer.
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The days blurred together. I worked with Jasper at Whitlock again on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons. A couple of people recognized me when I was coming and going from the gym, so I had to do a few autographs, but I felt glad the word was getting out about my being here. I was sure it would help Jasper and Alice. I spent my mornings working out at the ballpark, going heavy on legs and the little upper body I was able to do. I ran on the treadmill; I avoided the path around Rice even though spring had definitely arrived in Houston. I helped Coach Graham out with another ballgame, and dammit if Jasper wasn't right; we lost to our crosstown rivals, the University of Houston.
Staying busy was helping. I was focused on my elbow and my thoughts only rarely drifted to Bella. But the closer we came to our Monday session, the more difficult that became. I needed to talk to someone about what was happening, but my choices were limited. Jasper and Kate were obviously out, and I didn't think I could get to Alice without coming clean to Jasper. My teammates were all in Florida, and honestly, I didn't know any of them well enough for this kind of thing. I briefly considered trying to contact my old roommate, Sam, but it had been a while since we'd talked, and I thought that might be too weird. So my mom, it was. I took a deep breath to steel my nerve and dialed her number on Friday afternoon.
"Hey, Mom," I said when she answered.
"Well, hello, Sweetie," she greeted in her cheerful and animated voice. My stress level went down several notches. "To what do I owe the honor?"
"Can't a guy just call his mom for no reason?" I teased her.
"Of course, but my son doesn't do that very often," I felt a little guilty for that.
"Yep, but now I'm a local, and I might want to drop by for a quick visit. I didn't want to put y'all out," I explained.
"Hon, you can drop by any time! It doesn't matter what we're doing," she assured me. "Dad won't be home until later, but your parking spot is always open." She sounded so happy. I felt bad that I had an agenda.
"Well, if it's not a bother, then I think I'll come by in a little while," I told her.
"Great, I'll throw an extra burger on the grill for you," she was definitely excited. I told her I'd see her soon and hung up.
Later on, I pulled up a stool in the covered outdoor kitchen, while my mom manned the grill. She shooed me away when I suggested it was just that, a man's job. I chuckled as I nursed a Shiner. When the burgers were done, we dressed them with the fixings she had laid out and moved to the outdoor dining table. Dusk was falling, and the yard lights were already on.
"So, what's on your mind, Edward?" she asked. "I'm your mother; I know this is not just a social call." I wiped my mouth and closed my eyes to gather my nerve.
"I think you might be right about Bella Swan," I told her slowly. She smiled a bit knowingly but refrained from an I-told-you-do. "How so?" she prodded.
"Well, I saw her again. She's Dr. Cullen's fellow, and now he's asked her to collaborate with Jasper on my rehab. We're going to be working alone together for the next ten Mondays." I related this haltingly.
"And you're interested in rekindling a relationship," she surmised.
"No!" I exclaimed, then backtracked. "Well maybe. I mean, I don't think she is interested. I get the impression she is not interested," I sputtered a little bit. Mom just watched me with a sphinx-like expression. But then I remembered Bella asking me about Kate, and the way she looked when I touched her hair. I stopped talking because I wasn't sure anymore. My mom nodded at me to keep going.
"Well, the first time I saw her in the office, she seemed annoyed to see me there, mad even, but later she seemed more resigned," I explained, thinking hard. "But I tried to talk to her in private, and she ignored me." That part of the memory still stung. "I saw her at the gym on Monday, and she seemed worried, but I think that was about how this collaboration was going to work."
"She did offer her free time to help," I remembered and felt a bit better, "but that was probably because she felt obligated given her training position." I felt deflated again.
"Then I had to go over to her apartment…" I began, but my mom interrupted.
"You HAD to go over to her apartment?" my mom's eyebrows were in her hair. I huffed and rolled my eyes.
"Yes, I HAD to go over there," I insisted, "because Kate and Jasper were being jerks to her, and I wanted to apologize."
"What happened when you went over there?" she prompted.
"Well, she asked if I was seeing Kate, and I told her it was none of her business," my mom put her palm over her face and leaned her elbow on the table.
"No, I didn't say it in a rude way," I tried to explain. "More like a teasing way." I finished lamely.
"It sounds like you have unresolved business with her," Mom commented.
"Yes, that's exactly it." She'd summed it up perfectly. "I need to get her out of my head, one way or another. Things didn't end cleanly between us." I frowned as I remembered the role my mom had played in that. "Well, I guess you remember." She sighed.
"Edward…I'm not sorry that I encouraged you to end things with her back then. You were not ready for a serious relationship, considering the way you behaved, and I don't think she was able to give you the attention you deserved. But maybe you're ready now, and she's finally done with training. Who knows?" she shrugged. Her statements irked me a little, because it felt a little controlling, but I couldn't really argue with her.
"So, if she asked about Kate, do you think that means she still has feelings for me?" I asked tentatively. Mom splayed her hands.
"The only way to know is to ask," she declared. It was simple when she put it that way, but the thought terrified me. What if I made a move, and she shot me down? How much more awkward would it be to work together then? And how would I even go about addressing the elephant in the room. It was probably best just to let the therapy sessions play out. I couldn't wait for Monday, but I anxiously dreaded it at the same time.
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I was a few minutes late arriving at Whitlock Monday afternoon. I greeted Lucy, and she waved me through. I saw Bella talking to Garrett as soon I entered the gym. She was dressed in black yoga pants, and I could not help but notice the delicious way they hugged her ass. She had paired them with a vintage Astros jersey, and I chuckled a little when I realized we were almost dressed alike. I jogged towards the two of them and spoke.
"Hey, Garrett," I called getting their attention. Then I greeted her. "Dr. Swan, great minds think alike." I nodded to her outfit, taking in her curves again. She cast her eyes down, and I think she blushed. That had to be a good sign.
"Edward. Great you're here. Let's get started." She seemed anxious to get started, and I felt disappointed. That must mean she was anxious to get finished, too. She gestured for me to enter the treatment room ahead of her, and Garrett nodded to me as he turned to walk away. He looked a little skeptical about leaving us alone, but he had other clients waiting on him.
"So, how's the therapy going so far? I'm sure Jasper's been putting you through the paces," Bella broke the silence. She sounded friendly, and I relaxed some. I could do this, just get to know her again. I put on my game face.
'You're right," I agreed. I sounded stiff. I needed to try harder. "Jasper is working me hard. I appreciate your filling in for him. He'd come in at midnight on a Saturday, if I'd let him do it. He's a good friend." Crap, I sounded stupid, like I was implying she was a bad friend. I wished I could start over. I lifted my eyes to hers to see how she was taking this. She looked intense. Was she mad? I looked away in embarrassment.
"Why don't we go ahead and get started on the routine?" she asked. She probably thought I was a moron. I just nodded at her in silence as she pulled out the handout Jasper had given her. I already had it memorized, having gone through the routine several times last week. I reached for on of the tension bands hanging on the rack before she had to ask me.
We worked steadily for almost forty-five minutes. I was surprised that I was able to relax once I was in the zone, and we didn't talk much. I really didn't need her help, but it was nice to have company, and she did correct my form a few times. She was careful and thorough and watched me with an appraising eye. I could tell she was an excellent doctor. She stood slightly farther away than seemed normal, and I wondered why that was. Finally, I was struggling a little with one of the exercises at the end, and she stepped closer and ran her fingers along my forearm to reposition it. I sucked in a breath as electricity pulsed along my skin where we were in contact. My eyes shot to her face to see if she felt it, too. Her brown eyes were wide, and I thought she did.
"Thanks, Bella," I told her, sorry that our time together was over. I felt like I'd wasted it. She frowned and shook her head at me.
"No thanks necessary. I'm a Houstonian. I want the Astros to win. This was purely selfish," she told me, trying to make a joke. Disappointment bloomed as I considered this might simply be the truth for her. I forced myself to smile back.
"For love of city," I quipped, and she nodded and smiled at me. I just sat there and smiled goofily back at her until the silence became uncomfortable.
"You'll probably deserve some good tickets after all of this. I think I have enough clout to work that out," I kicked myself mentally as soon as the words came out. What a stupid, insensitive thing to say! I had been thinking of the stories she'd told me about her dad, but instead I'd implied she was in this for baseball tickets.
"No, I don't need tickets," she said, of course. She looked miffed, but suddenly her eyes opened wide.
"Edward, you just need to be able to pitch," she blurted excitedly. I had no idea what she meant.
"Yes," I replied, trying to convey cool. "That is my job. I'm a Major League pitcher," I teased her. I loved that she seemed to be opening up, and I felt a little giddy. I grinned at her, remembering how it had been between us when we first met. She swiped at my right bicep, and my skin tingled again. My arm jerked involuntarily. She put her hands in her lap, and I internally fist-bumped. She felt it, too.
"No, that's not what I meant," she responded with a small laugh. "I just meant that you don't have to bat anymore. Now that the Astros have joined the American League, you have the designated hitter." I smiled hugely at her. She obviously remembered the conversation we'd had that day when we walked around the Rice path.
"What would your dad think?" I asked teasing her again. I'd forgotten how fun it was to do that. Her face fell, and I felt like a jerk. I knew it made her sad to think about him.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to upset you," I told her immediately.
"No, no, I'm fine. I was just surprised you remembered that story," she responded. Little did she know that I pretty much remembered everything she said.
"You still keep things close to the vest, huh, Bella?" I commented wistfully, speaking before I could think it through. My hand brushed her cheek before I even realized I'd moved. She sucked in her breath like she had when I touched her hair outside her apartment last week. My heart was beating like I'd run five miles. She had to be feeling this, too. Elation was making me lightheaded. I forced my hand back to my side and schooled my features. I could not afford to spook her like I'd done all those years ago.
She took a step away from me and spoke, "Thanks for a great session, Edward." I smiled at her silliness. She was the therapist, not me.
"That's my line, Bella. You're the one who gave up your time," I corrected her, watching her closely.
"Yes, well, Houstonian," she gestured at herself again, and I had to laugh. I wondered if I was making her nervous. It was time to go before I screwed this up. I thought we were ending on a positive note.
"I should go," I told her, and she nodded, but I hoped it was with reluctance. We seemed to be getting along so well, I felt another ghost of the old times. She gestured that she would walk me out.
"So, I guess you work out at the team gym at the ballpark on the days you don't come here. You probably have team trainers and the like." She was making small talk, and I put my head down and stuffed my hands in my pockets, trying to keep it light.
"Yeah. The rest of the team left for Florida, though. So I have the place to myself," I told her. Now that we were out in the gym proper, it felt awkward again, and I wasn't sure why. We walked together slowly out of the reception area and back into the hospital's main hallway toward the main entrance. I wanted to say something clever, but I couldn't think of anything. We reached my car, and I stopped walking.
"This is me," I told her, looking at the car and not her, like a coward. She ran her hand gently over the hood.
"No need for your mom's hand-me-downs anymore, huh?" she asked rhetorically. I was pleased she remembered that I used to drive my mom's old car. That made me smile. I wanted to show her I remembered that stuff, too.
"No, I can afford to buy my own cars nowadays," I admitted in a gross understatement. "How about you? Do you still drive that old BMW?"
"No, I bought myself a Honda Civic a few years ago. I've been completely on my own ever since I graduated and started earning a paycheck," she told me, and I could hear the pride in her voice.
"Good for you," I congratulated fervently. I knew how much that meant to her, considering the issues she had with her mom and stepdad. "But you're going to be getting a very big raise here pretty soon, right?" I leaned against the car now, trying to show her that she didn't have to rush off. I wanted to keep talking to her.
"Well, yeah, of course," she shrugged, but I was sure it was a big deal to her. What a relief to finally earn her due after years on a resident's salary.
"What are you going to do with it?" I asked curiously, suddenly dying to know what went on in her brain. I also worried she might mention a boyfriend, even though Alice and Jasper had said she was single. "New car? New house? Maybe a big trip around the world?" She frowned and seemed perplexed by my question.
"Well, I have to secure a job first. There's an opening at Baylor, but they won't finalize the hiring until April. I have an interview here at Texas Orthopedics coming up," she explained and gestured behind us at the building. She went on, "I also have some interviews out of town, but I really want the Baylor job." I nodded, but this information chilled me. She had chosen her career over me all those years ago and would certainly do it again. She may not have a boyfriend, but that did not mean she was available. It was a sobering realization.
"Well, good luck with that," I told her, and my voice sounded tight. "See you next week." I tapped on the roof of my car, pulled open the door, and climbed inside. She stepped back to the curb and watched me with her arms crossed over her chest as I started up. She was still standing there as I took the corner, and I wondered for the thousandth time what she might be thinking.
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FYI, I lived at the Greenbriar for 4 years as a medical student and visited friends who lived there while I was at Rice. So, I know for a fact that over a 6 year period from 1996-2002, they never changed the gate code. Hopefully, security is a little tighter these days, lol.
I'll get another chapter up as soon as I can!
EG