*BPOV*
"Oh, I'm just so glad to see you, dear!" Esme hugged me as warmly as her cold body was capable of. She was beaming at me as Edward and I walked through the door, so it was impossible to doubt her sincerity.
I was suddenly ashamed of my recent reluctance to spend much time at the Cullen home. They must be so put out with me for monopolizing all of Edward's time over the last several weeks. I didn't know how to explain to them that this wasn't because I didn't trust them. It was because I didn't trust myself not to do something clumsy or stupid and end up bleeding. I tended to have fewer accidents when I was quarantined in my own home.
Just then, Jasper appeared at the top of the stairs.
"Whatever you're feeling so guilty about, Bella, you needn't be. And thanks for keeping Edward's mopey ass at your place. It's been a lot more pleasant around here," Jasper smirked as he descended the stairs at human speed.
I could practically hear Edward roll his eyes at that last jab.
Since my disastrous last birthday, Jasper was even more careful to move slowly around me and to keep a wide berth, presumably so I wouldn't feel threatened by him. I wished he wouldn't.
Edward had called their home the one place they didn't have to hide. To see Jasper acting so human in his own home, and on my account, bothered me.
Jasper stopped in his tracks at the bottom of the stairs with a furrowed brow, then looked first at me, then to Edward, then back at me. He had an exasperated expression on his face.
"There's enough guilt and regret in this room to fill a Catholic church," he drawled. I peeked up at Edward; he was already looking down at me with a question burning in his liquid gold eyes.
"I guess it's a good thing I have to head out on an errand," Jasper tapped a yellow legal-sized envelope against the palm of his other hand, an impeccably human gesture.
"Good to see you, Bella. Don't be a stranger," Jasper tipped his head at me and Esme in farewell and headed for the garage, this time moving just a touch faster than human speed.
"Catch you later, Jasper," I gave him a small wave and redirected my attention back to Edward and Esme. Edward's face was pinched in concern as he looked down at me. He looked frustrated.
Esme, in an effort to diffuse the tension, looped her arm around mine and gently guided me to the kitchen. "Alice said you were coming so I put some cookies in the oven to bake. I hope you like chocolate chip!"
"Doesn't everybody?" I smiled.
"You might be the minority in this house," she pointed out delicately.
"I don't even have to share them?! Better stop spoiling me with food, Esme. I might never want to be changed," I joked.
Esme laughed, charmed. Edward, however, was not so charmed by the casual way in which I joked about my someday immortality. I chose to ignore the way his hand that had been resting on the small of my back had balled up into a fist.
*EPOV*
You two are a match made in heaven. Or hell. I can't decide. Jasper had been thinking as he absorbed the emotional climate in the room.
Guilt, Regret, Anxiety. Those were my baseline emotions these days, so it came as a shock when that was Jasper's analysis of Bella. What could she possibly be feeling so anguished about? How typical of Bella to assign herself blame for any part of this. I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of it.
Was that the reason she hadn't wanted to come here? She didn't want me to know how she felt? I frowned at the idea of that. It wouldn't do for her to feel like she had to hide her feelings from Jasper, or worse, from me. I'd need to ask her about that later, somehow.
Edward, dear, why don't you go make yourself scarce so that Alice and I can have some girl time with Bella?
I balled up my fist at the suggestion of leaving her even for a short time, but I acquiesced. It was Esme asking, after all. I smiled and nodded.
Wrong as it may have been, I was relieved Jasper would not be at home to pose a threat to Bella, especially if I couldn't be here to protect her. With the wedding being just around the corner, his errand was to meet with the family attorney to add Bella to our family's financial and investment accounts in preparation for her becoming a Cullen.
That gave me pause. I wondered if it would help quell her doubts to know that the ball was moving forward in that regard.
I squeezed Bella gently against my side before parting from her. She looked up at me questioningly.
"Esme is too polite to tell me to buzz off out loud, so I'm going to leave you girls to your cookies and gossip." I grinned at my mother and leaned down to kiss Bella softly goodbye.
The blood pooled in her cheeks as I kissed her. When I pulled away, the soft skin had turned the same color as a ripe, sun-kissed peach. God, I was going to miss that.
"Don't believe anything they tell you!" I teased. "See you soon, my love. I'm going to go for a run. I won't be far, but I won't be close enough to hear, either," I added, in case that would help her speak more freely.
"If you must," she pouted with an exaggerated huff. Her full lower lip jutted out just a bit in the most appealing way. Now it was my turn to be dazzled. What a dangerous creature she would be when she realized the effect that pout had on me.
Alice chose that moment to prance into the kitchen where Bella had pulled up a stool at the island. Esme was pulling cookies out of the oven. Bella looked on, first in horror, then in amazement as Esme didn't bother to use an oven mitt. I marveled at my future bride's easy acceptance of our inhumanness. She would never cease to amaze me.
"Since you're going to Seattle, can you do me a favor? This needs to be dropped off with the dressmaker," Alice handed me a thumb drive and pictured the address. "Don't you dare peek!" she glared at me threateningly.
"I wouldn't dare!" I feigned offense.
"You're going to Seattle?! That's four hours away!" Bella yelped.
"Maybe if I took your truck," I winked and kissed her one last time and took my leave.
*BPOV*
"So what's new?" I broke the awkward silence that had settled over the room when Edward left.
"You tell me! For someone who was so traumatized when we left, you sure have no trouble leaving us in the wind," Alice glared at me icily and crossed her dainty arms across her chest.
"Alice…" Esme reproached.
"No no, I deserve it, Esme. I've been a jerk and bad friend. I'm so sorry, Alice. I wish I knew how to explain myself," I pathetically attempted to make amends.
"Try," Alice gritted through her teeth.
I could now see why Edward was so averse to being on the receiving end of Alice's wrath. She was one scary little vampire.
I sighed. "I promise it's absolutely nothing personal. I've just been having some…" I struggled for the right word, "anxiety about getting hurt. I don't seem to have so many accidents when I'm at home."
"First of all, I'm your sister, not your friend. You're gonna have to get used to that. Secondly, what do you mean by 'accidents'? Like the kind where you get attacked by bloodthirsty vampires?" Alice asked bluntly.
Esme gasped, a mortified look on her face. "Heavens! Are you frightened of us?"
"NO!" I almost shouted, desperate to ease the pained look on Esme's face.
"It's more like I'm afraid of doing something dumb, hurting myself in some way that causes one of you," I used general terms not wanting to single out Jasper, "to have another lapse in control. And then Edward freaking out and jumping to all the wrong conclusions again. I'm afraid of his reactions more than anything else. I guess I was just kinda...hiding out while I'm still so breakable and clumsy."
When I said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous.
Esme had a fiercely determined look on her face.
"Bella, I know we put you through a terrible ordeal, and I hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive us. But I want you to know, and you have my word on this, that I won't let that happen again. Ever. You're our family now, too, and I will not allow for you to be left behind. I don't care if you're human, vampire, or werewolf. I will not see my family torn apart again," Esme's golden eyes blazed with the conviction behind her words. It was the most I'd ever heard her say at one time.
My breath came out in a short gasp.
"Really?" Was the only word I could form around the lump in my throat. I swiped quickly at my eyes that were welling up and over.
"Oh my darling girl, of course." Esme rushed to get her arms around me. I sobbed in earnest at the sheer relief of that knowledge. That Edward couldn't leave me, not unless he wanted to leave his family, too. And I was selfish enough that I was glad to have that leverage.
I looked over at Alice who was looking at me speculatively.
"That still doesn't make sense why you've been so weird with Edward when you've been at home, though. And don't think he hasn't noticed it either."
I sighed. It was going to take some getting used to, not being able to have any secrets from my family of hyper-perceptive, mind-reading, emotion-manipulating, future-telling vampires.
"I've been in a funk. I know we're planning this wedding and talking about changing me, but some part of me isn't allowing myself to believe that those things are really going to happen because I… I just keep waiting for him to find some reason to leave me again. And..and..." my voice wobbled with grief. I took a deep breath through my nose to compose myself.
"...And waiting for Edward to leave me again is like," I paused, trying to think of a severe enough analogy, "...being cured of cancer, but spending all my time terrified that it will come back."
My tears were flowing freely now, and I sniffed loudly, trying to keep the snot under control. Esme and Alice embraced me from both sides, forming a protective circle around me.
From behind me, Alice hugged me even tighter and said, "You're a Cullen now, or you will be in 17 days. I've seen it. And Cullens don't get cancer." She spoke with unimpeachable resolve.
*EPOV*
It was an easy, quiet run to Seattle, mostly straight through the gnarled, mossy trunks of the spruce and hemlock trees populating the Olympic National Park. From there it was a couple of short leaps over some of the narrower canals that made up Puget Sound. Then I took to the underground, running unseen through dark and damp subway tunnels until I reached my stop: Pike Street.
I discreetly jumped onto the platform of the city's busiest public transit station. I blended easily into a large group of tourists and exited the station using the stairs at human speed.
The thoughts of all the people around me droned in my head like a swarm of bees.
I emerged into the salty, sea air of Seattle and turned down a small sidestreet to head in the direction of the address Alice had given me. This street was quieter than the subway station, thankfully, and I found myself thinking about, what else, but my Bella.
She already was my life, but in 17 days, she would be my wife. I smiled triumphantly. It was the first step to forever. My smile faltered a bit when I remembered Bella's reserve from the last few weeks. For the umpteenth time, I wondered what she could possibly be thinking.
I hoped my mother and sister would be able to give me some much-needed insight when I returned home to take Bella home.
I came to a halt as I arrived at the storefront Alice had sent me, too. It was a small, unassuming shop with a few dressmaker dolls in the window. A bell chimed as the front door swung closed behind me. An older woman was seated at a sewing machine on the far side of the room. She had her back to me and swung around to face me at the sound of my entrance.
"Ah, you must be Edward," she thought of Alice's face and could see the similarities in our pale skin and unusual eye color.
"And you must be Antoinette. Alice says you're the best there is. Thank you so much for doing this on such short notice. I know my Bella will be an absolute vision in your creation." I slid the thumb drive in her direction across the front desk. I briefly wondered if she'd even know how to use such a device, but if Alice wasn't concerned, then I wouldn't be either.
"Congratulations!" Antoinette smiled. She approached the front desk, slipping the drive into the pocket of her apron, and looked me over appreciatively. "Must be a very lucky girl. It'll be ready in two weeks."
I shook my head in polite disagreement. "I'm the lucky one."
Antoinette smiled thinking about how in love I looked. She was a romantic and I was her favorite type of client to work for. And the generous rush fee Alice had paid her didn't hurt, either.
"Thanks again," I turned and headed for the door. I had been gone for about an hour and a half at this point, and it would take me nearly that long to get back to Forks. I decided that was quite long enough for Alice and Esme to torture Bella with wedding talk and marital advice.
Though, as I was heading back to the subway tunnels, I passed the Paramount Theater and its marquis advertising the upcoming opening day for the musical production Phantom of the Opera. I looked at the poster of the iconic white mask and the red rose. I could hear the distant notes of "Music of Night" coming from inside the theater where the actors were rehearsing.
I thought of Bella's love for the classics, and especially tragic romance. I decided Andrew Lloyd Webber would be right up her alley and headed for the box office. I slid my credit card through the small slot in the plastic divider and purchased two of the best seats available for the following weekend.
The theater employee looked at me in surprise, wondering how such a young kid could afford to pay for such pricey tickets. She suspiciously asked for my ID, which I slid out of my wallet.
Whoever pays the bill for that credit card is going to be pissed, the employee thought with a grimace.
I thanked her again as I slid the small envelope containing the tickets into the inside pocket of my leather jacket. As plans for our date night started to come together in my mind, I was even more excited to get back to my Bella.
My phone chirped in my pocket.
"I know just the dress!" was the text from Alice, followed by every heart-shaped and kissy-faced emoji in existence.
Once I finally made it back to the subway tunnel, I was off like a rocket.