Chapter 5: Humanity's Hottest Gains a Lead
Day 4
"Strategy is a necessary weapon in the arsenal of every competent soldier. In this series, we have shed light on the physical prowess of Humanity's Hottest, Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, but we would be remiss in neglecting mention of his mental acuity. Already, you have read about the corporal's successful rescue of Humanity's Hope, Eren Jaeger, and our beloved ruler, Queen Historia. Although the success of the mission is necessarily attributed to the Scout division's illustrious leader, Commander Erwin Smith, many of the strategic minutiae were devised by Lance Corporal Levi, for example, the use of smoke guns to overcome a squad of rogue sharpshooters headed by the late Kenny the Ripper.
What this means, dear ladies, is that the corporal is a lethally sexy combination of intellect, muscle and romanticism packed into one tiny package. Who doesn't love a value bargain?"
Picture: Levi in full battle gear. His swords are crossed before him and he glares at the camera with intense fury.
Picture caption: Levi and his twin blades of justice.
That morning, the Levi squad sat down to their usual briefing. Connie wasted no time stuffing his foot into his mouth.
"Did you guys read today's section on 'Humanity's Hottest'?" Sasha gave an undignified snort while the rest of the squad started coughing or found something fascinating in their food. Mikasa stared ahead, perfectly emotionless as always.
"Don't mention that while I'm around," Levi growled. "The trash printed on that paper is enough to make the trees beg for a bleaching."
"Did you take that picture for them?" Connie asked.
Levi didn't dignify the question with a response. He had in fact taken that picture as part of a propaganda shoot a few years back, but some things were better off forgotten.
"This morning's edition was really complimentary! They even mentioned that nice idea you had about using smoke guns on the anti-personnel squad," Sasha offered, and Jean shot her a look to shut her mouth.
"That means the person writing about me is one of us, you numbnut,"Levi said. There were a few surprised looks and gasps around the table, but Sasha continued to look confused. Armin stepped in.
"Nobody except Hange and the Levi squad were on that mission. The newspapers talked about the Scouts defeating Kenny the Ripper and his squad, but no one ever mentioned the detail about the smoke guns. It wasn't even written up in a report, since we were working independently of the government at the time and couldn't afford to leave a trace of our actions."
"Exactly. The brat got careless." Levi crossed his arms on the table and leant forward menacingly to show he meant business. "I would have been lenient on them if they'd settled for a one-off piece, but they've really gone to lengths to try and plunge me into hell. So, to the one amongst you sorry lot who did this: I'm going to slice you up with my blades and feed you to my fangirls for lunch."
A spluttering sound came from his right as Jean devolved into a violent coughing fit. Eren patted the grey-haired youth's back awkwardly.
"What's wrong, Kirstein? You going to confess?"
"Sir, I – "
"He swallowed a fly, sir." Mikasa stated.
"You saw it?"
"Yes."
Levi took a long, hard, look at both Jean and Mikasa, the former red in the face and the latter impassive as ever.
"Well, we've wasted enough time on this stupid subject. Here's what we need to do today." He said, letting the matter drop.
For in truth, Levi had already identified Jean as the culprit. After reading the section that morning, Levi had reached the same conclusion as Armin and wasted no time in retrieving samples of his squad's handwriting to compare with that on the note. Jean's sample, a comprehensive yet concise treatise on the rebuilding of Trost's damaged infrastructure, was an identical match. Shame the boy hadn't stuck to writing military reports. Now Levi was going to exact his revenge on a personal level.
That was where the meeting came in. At Levi's instructions, Rod Kellerman had set up a meeting with Jean in a small coffee shop in Trost in the late afternoon under the pretence of confirming the details of the next day's section, with the threat that they would discontinue publication if they couldn't make sense of the writing. His squad had a relatively easy day ahead, so the scheduled time would allow Jean enough time to finish his duties and leave quietly without thinking he was under suspicion. The neighbouring alleyways provided several viewing points of the coffee shop, allowing Levi to ambush Jean once he stepped inside. Then he could drag Jean into an alleyway and torture –he meant, interrogate – him at leisure.
Of course, if Jean had half a brain, he would know not to turn up. But Levi was a betting man and liked the thrill of the chase. In the Underground, bets were an unsavoury part of life, but he had found a taste for it after joining the Scouts. Maybe Erwin was rubbing off onto him.
An evil smirk flitted briefly across the corporal's face.
He was looking forward to cracking Jean like a nut.
Levi spent the day filing reports while his squad carried out their duties. The day passed quickly, and soon it was time to go. Hange came to his office to see him off.
"You heading to the coffee shop?" Levi grunted in the affirmative. Hange raised her head and put a finger to her chin in thought. "It's strange, you know. Jean's gifted, but I didn't think he was the type to rebel against his superior."
"Well, you know humans. They're full of surprises." Levi said, as if he were not also one himself. Hange remained unconvinced.
"But what's his motive?"
Hange raised a good point. Levi thought for a moment, but nothing came to mind. "That's what I'm about to find out."
He grabbed his coat and left.
"Tell me what you learn!" Hange called after him, never one to miss a lesson in human psychology.
To Levi's relief, the streets were only moderately busy. He stole through the shadows undetected and found a secluded spot that had good viewing access to the coffee shop entrance from across the road.
Levi glanced at the big clock in the nearby square. Jean was five minutes late. If this were military duty, he would be disciplined for tardiness. He silently resolved to put the boy on lavatory cleaning duty as punishment the next day.
His eye was suddenly drawn to a hooded, cloaked figure coming down the road. He scanned the figure, but to little avail. The cloak was a neutral brown and engulfed its wearer, betraying neither appearance nor affiliation. Suddenly, the figure stopped at the window of the coffee shop where the scheduled meeting was supposed to take place, then turned to face into the store.
The brat had actually turned up! Either he had a death wish or was really invested in the stupid prank…though these possibilities were by no means mutually exclusive.
Levi waited a few more moments but the figure stayed outside, facing stoically into the coffee shop. Then Levi noticed that the windowfront on the coffee shop was polished, giving the figure a clear view of everything happening behind. If he were to step out of his hiding place now, he would be spotted.
Savvy son of a bitch, Levi thought. Well, he could wait. Fifteen more minutes passed like this: him staring at Jean, Jean staring into the coffee shop. Suddenly, Jean turned, as if moving to leave.
It was now or never. He moved out from the shadows stealthily, intending to ambush his prey.
"Ohmigod, it's Lance Corporal Levi!" An arm latched onto his and before he knew it, he was surrounded by a sea of women. Cursing, he pushed roughly through the swarm of bodies, ignoring the surprised and indignant shrieks around him. As he cleared the crowd, he noticed a cloaked figure at the entrance to an alleyway, arrested in mid-run. The cloak billowed from the figure's residual momentum, revealing a small, steel cylinder just above the waist and a larger one strapped to the leg. ODM gear. The figure zipped out of sight.
Activating his own gear, Levi swiftly flew down the alleyway after his target.
All soldiers were adept with ODM gear, but Jean proved to be exceptionally skilled. He performed sharp turns, barrelled to the sides to avoid obstructing crates, ducked under abandoned carts to conceal abrupt changes in direction, and lengthened and retracted his lines to swing to different altitudes. I would expect nothing less from my squad, Levi thought with a stab of pride.
Still, Jean was no match for Levi; while the former had to spend precious energy executing complicated manoeuvres to lose his pursuer, the latter only had to keep the boy in sight and match him turn for turn. The corporal zipped and pulled, relishing the tension and contraction of his lines, as he slowly but surely gained ground on his prey. Jean was only prolonging the inevitable.
Finally, he was within arm's reach. Jean twisted around to plant a kick in Levi's face, but Levi was ready. The corporal grabbed Jean's ankle, used it to flip himself around, and yanked, sending the boy barrelling to the ground. Using his gas cylinders to change direction in a masterful, mid-air pivot, Levi sent a hook into the ground by the thick, rising dust cloud and drew himself in, plummeting after his target and landing on point to jam his right arm up against Jean's neck with lethal accuracy. It's over.
Levi planted his left hand on Jean's chest for support, then frowned in confusion.
For his hand had not fallen on a set of hard pecs but on a mound of soft, warm, flesh. When had Jean sprouted man boobs? No. There was only one other explanation…
A sudden, sharp pain shot through Levi's gut. Winded, he rolled to the ground and cursed as he heard the familiar hiss of gas. What humiliation, to have lost his target in such careless fashion. He sat up, trying to ignore the pain in his middle, and felt something soft under his right arm. A red scarf.
A grin tugged at the corner of Levi's mouth. He hadn't been the only careless one today.
A/N: And there you have it! The plot thickens, leaving more questions than answers (mwahaha). Thanks for reading - all favs and/or reviews are much appreciated! :)
Plot points:
(1) Normally, the gas canister is strapped to the sheath. In this case, it's strapped to the leg so that the user can travel lighter and faster. I don't actually know if ODM gear can be altered to wear this way, but let's assume for the sake of the story that it is.