A/N: My mind's eye saw several things happen with each prompt. I decided to smoosh it all into one chaotic chapter. And well, here ya go. My contribution to the annals of Huh?

This was a fun exercise! I'm looking forward to the next!

Saturday

Anything Goes

Tifa cuddled into him; a contented sigh hastened his trail of kisses along the contours of her collarbone. A low chuckle erupted from his mouth, and she thought she'd never woken to a more beautiful sound when he spoke. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

"Mm, good morning, Vincent." She stretched in his arms as he ran a hand along her ribs and over her hip. He was making it hard to consider getting out of bed. "What time is it?"

"Late, past 9. You always sleep in?" He asked, continuing his worship of her with his gentle hands and hungry lips. She pulled his head closer, relishing the heated shivers fanning along her neck as he nipped at her cool skin. "I have to go soon," he said, a hint of regret seeping into his tone.

"Already? Don't you want some breakfast?" He smiled at her and nodded slowly. She gave him a chaste peck and asked, "Ok, what would you like? I can make anything."

As he looked upward in a show of intense contemplation, she nuzzled his neck, hoping he would forget whatever he had to accomplish for the day and stay with her instead. "Uh, make me—how about you make me scrambled eggs? And something with—honey?" His hand slid up her thigh, and he grinned at her reaction to his innuendo. Her cheeks reddened as she suddenly felt bashful, unused to this kind of banter from the usually taciturn gunman.

Tifa kissed him, needing to force away the shyness, and his sultry chuckle warmed her. They held each other close for a few short minutes, then she reluctantly rose from the bed. Desire darkened his eyes as she tossed him a seductive wink before closing the door to the bathroom to begin her morning routine. When she exited, he placed a tender kiss on the top of her head, and they traded places. Her contented smile lingered all the way to the kitchen as she hummed and prepared their breakfast.

Coffee, toast, eggs—honey? She almost giggled aloud to herself as she stood over the hot stove and drizzled honey over the eggs. She gasped as an arm snaked around her waist and pulled her back into a hardened chest. "What are you giggling at?" Vincent breathed into her ear.

Loud footsteps in the hallway prompted Tifa to step away quickly, and Vincent frowned at her. Cloud came to an abrupt stop near the table, surprised to see Vincent standing in the kitchen. He looked at the two of them dubiously as Tifa spooned the eggs onto a plate, blushing at the scrutiny of her morning afterglow.

"Vincent," Cloud greeted.

"Cloud," Vincent returned.

"Breakfast!" Tifa said nervously, setting the plate of eggs and toast on the table. She grabbed extra plates and silverware as the two men claimed seats. Once settled in, Tifa waited patiently as they silently filled their plates with food. "Let's dig in!" She said sweetly, hoping to chase her awkwardness away with a focus on her meal.

Tifa poked at an egg she watched them eat. Cloud stabbed his fork into the eggs, piercing in a quick staccato to ensnare as many puffy clumps as possible before stuffing his mouth full. As he began to chew, he paused, and his brows drew together in confusion. He looked at Tifa and swallowed in one gulp. "Eggs are different."

"Oh um—it's honey," she replied, cheeks reddening under his intense inspection, as well as the slight smirk playing across Vincent's mouth. Cloud's eyes darted between them suspiciously. Maybe she should just blurt it out—get it out in the open so she could let Cloud know—we're not gonna be friends with benefits anymore. Though given the infrequency, would it really be necessary? She stared at her eggs and toast, still not having taken a bite as she mused over the night and her feelings this morning.

She felt a gentle hand rest on her knee under the table and glanced up to see Vincent giving her a slight smile of encouragement.

Breakfast ended too soon and not soon enough. The quiet was interrupted by a loud banging on the side door downstairs. "Where'd everybody go?" Barret's curse echoed down the street, and Tifa regretted sleeping in and not being ready for their arrival. She heard thundering shoes in the hallway below and hopped downstairs to greet Barret and the kids.

Denzel zoomed past her on his skateboard, swerving at just the right moment to avoid Tifa's attempted embrace. "Hey, not in the bar! Denzel—" The boy couldn't hear her. The headphones firmly inserted into his ears blared so loudly Tifa could hear the tune clearly. He continued to circle the bar, rolling past Tifa and zigzagging between the tables with expert precision.

Marlene was dressed in her Regenesis Day costume, a complete ensemble with a polka dot skirt and matching ribbons in her hair. "Tifa!" she squealed when Tifa bent down to give her a hug. "We stayed up all night long, making Chocobo bean popcorn and summon pops and chocolate moogles. And Daddy said you're gonna make a big plate of—"

"Easy now. I said we'd ask her! Don't go guilting Tifa into cookin all day when we got fireworks later," he gently scolded the girl. Tifa glanced up at him and stifled a laugh. Barret stood behind Marlene with his hands crossed angrily, grumbling under his breath about parades and costumes.

Tifa laughed aloud as she took in the sight of him. Marlene had likely chosen his parade outfit, which matched her own to perfection. He glared at Tifa as she clutched her aching side between eye-watering laughs.

"Hey, hey now!" He complained at her. "Ease up, I got shorts on under here!" He lifted the dress so Tifa could verify his claim, but she squeezed her eyes shut and held out a hand to him.

"Nope, I'm good—ma'am. Really!" She laughed harder when he shot a finger at her behind Marlene's back.

"I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, and I'm armed! Don't mess with me!" He yelled, setting their bags on the table.

"Stop yelling, Daddy!" Marlene said as she jumped into the air to place a kiss on Tifa's cheek. "You said anything goes! And we match!"

Barret grumbled as he hitched the skirt up and straddled a chair. "The sooner this gotdamn parade is over, the better! And where the hell are the boys?"

"Um, why don't I go look," Tifa offered, hoping to catch Vincent before he left to meet up with Reeve. She sucked in her belly as Denzel again zipped past. "Denzel! Oh, forget it." She entered the kitchen shaking her head, wondering if she was as difficult when she hit the teen years.

Tifa forgot her troubles when she saw him. Vincent leaned against the table in the kitchen, hooking his gauntlet around his forearm when she entered. He watched her quietly as she sauntered over with a seductive tug at her bottom lip with her teeth. He smiled back as she fingered the clasps of his cloak under his chin. "Leaving soon?" she asked with a pout.

"I'll be back after the parade and in time for the fireworks," he replied and lowered his head, pressing his lips against hers gently.

Just as a door creaked open behind her, a knock and a bang at the sidewall near the stairs precipitated a string of curses. Several voices spoke at once, each one as stunned as the other at the intimate scene. "Fuck! Oh, sorry. I didn't—" "What in the hell?" "Tifa, we need to talk right now!" Gasp! "Holy shittin Chocobo!"

Cloud and Barret stood near the kitchen door, staring at Vincent as though seeing him for the first time. The blonde rubbed at his head, clearly having run into the wall—perhaps from his shock at what he'd just witnessed. A feminine voice mumbled behind Tifa. She turned to see Yuffie watching them with mouth agape. Great, well—that's everybody.

"I'm just gonna—" Barret said as he threw his thumb over his shoulder. "Find a kid—or somethin."

Vincent rose to his feet, and to no one in particular said, "Gotta meet up with Reeve. Be back later." He ignored Tifa's pleading expression as he exited through the side door without another word and left her to deal with the awkward situation alone. Nothing needed to be said. The cuahl was out of the bag.

"Uh—so, uh. You and Vincent, huh?" Cloud said, rubbing the back of his head in confusion.

"Oh, get over it, Chocobo head," Yuffie yelled in exasperation, and shoulder rammed him into the refrigerator. Cloud scowled at her as she dragged Tifa into the stock room. "We need to talk privately!" Tifa rolled her eyes at Yuffie's dramatics and shot Cloud a look of apology as he was dragged from the kitchen by Barret.

"Get yo ass over here and talk to me!" Barret bellowed. Tifa strained to hear their conversation, but their voices faded when Yuffie shut the door.

"Ok, so you know last night when Reno stood up for me?" Yuffie quickly began, and Tifa nodded, wanting to run back and hear Cloud and Barret's gossip but rooted with dread over what the girl might say next.

"Well, I kinda thought it was cute. No one ever does that for me. And well—maybe I made a detour on the way home last night and instead went to Reno's apartment and—don't look at me like that. Hear me out! I didn't know anything was gonna happen. I wanted to thank him! But the next thing you know, we started playing drinking games—and he won a bet, then I won a bet—and long story short. He's chasing me. Where's the best place to hide in this joint? Oh—I'm gonna go down to the basement!"

"Wait, Yuffie!" Tifa followed her, cursing under her breath that the ninja was making this conversation difficult—when all Tifa wanted to do was talk to Barret or Cloud. She caught sight of the younger woman's white cloak disappearing behind the crates of juice and soda. Tifa reached her just before Yuffie lifted a leg to hop inside one, grunting as she propped the lid open. She glanced up at Tifa and crossed her eyes in exasperation.

"Oh, don't look at me like that, Teefs! Especially after what I just saw," she said accusingly while making room for herself amongst the juice and soda bottles. "I think he really likes me," Yuffie grinned, lifting her eyebrows suggestively.

Tifa's mind was running away from her. Yuffie went to Reno's apartment, and they drank together, then—then, what? Now Yuffie thinks the Turk likes her?

Tifa shook her head vigorously, trying to get a handle on the situation—any situation. "Alright," she said, steadying her scattered thoughts but deciding to play along to get more information. "What makes you say that?"

"Because I heard him on the phone this morning with Rude. He told him, 'When she sleeps under the morning light, she almost looks innocent.' He definitely wants to see me again," Yuffie explained, leaving Tifa with far more questions. "Oh, will you lock the door on your way out?" She said and let the lid snap shut when she hunkered down into a crouch.

"Isn't he almost 40, Yuffie?" Tifa snapped, lifting the lid to stare down at the ninja who had folded herself into a fetal position.

"Oh, ho! You're one to talk! Vincent's like—80 or something! Don't think I didn't see that wet tongue tango the two of you were doing in public view." Yuffie slapped Tifa's hand away and propped the lid up as she said, "and besides, Reno is only like 30—3 or something. Way closer in age to me than Vincent is to you! I don't care what he looks like! That old Turk is—old! Grave robber! And another thing, I'm an adult now! I can follow any Turk home if I want to." Yuffie stuck her tongue out at Tifa and let the lid slam shut.

"Now hang on just a minute, Yuf—" Shouting from the restaurant drew her gaze to the floor above her head.

"Oh shit!" Yuffie's muffled voice echoed from inside the box. "You don't know where I am! Ok?"

Tifa glared at the crate before she turned on her heel and raced up the stairs as quick as her feet allowed. Barret stood in the center of the bar with his gun arm raised at an unseen figure, while Cloud looked on with his arms crossed and a look of murder on his face. That couldn't be Vincent!

Tifa dodged Denzel as the boy continued his carefree dash around the bar. She glared as she rushed to Barret's side.

"Now you gonna calm the hell down?" Barret growled as Tifa placed a hand on his metal arm.

"Is this necessary?" she yelled at Barret, relieved—but huffing incredulously as she spied his target.

Reno sat in a chair in the center of the bar, looking hungover and like he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. "Hey man. Lower your arm, yo. I just wanna have a little—" Reno's head whipped backward to avoid being hit by Denzel, "chat with the princess."

"Naw," Barret said, though he allowed Tifa to force his arm down. "You gonna tell me what the hell you're doin," Barret demanded, raising his gun arm as Denzel skated past before he continued, "bustin up in here on a Saturday mornin and scarin my little girl!"

Reno scoffed at the larger man as Marlene ran to her father and jumped into his arm. "Tch! I didn't see her. I just wanna talk to the ninja, man. Where the hell is she?" Reno's gaze traveled down the length of Barret's costume, and he squinted at the large man. "She get to you, too?"

Rude suddenly appeared at the doorway and rushed in. He stopped in his tracks as he took in Barret's angry expression and attire, and Tifa could feel the wheels turning behind his shades. The bald Turk turned his own revolution as he watched Denzel silently roll behind him and around the tables in a figure eight. When his eyes finally rested on the center of the room, Rude canted his head and slowly approached. He circled the chair uncertainly. "Reno?"

"Aww, man," the redhead whined, eyes squeezed shut and a mortified look passing over his face before quickly disappearing. "Mornin, partner. You got my message?"

"What's going on?" Tifa asked, looking from one Turk to the other. This was shaping up to be one of the strangest Saturday mornings.

Reno placed both of his hands on his knees in dramatized agony. He reached behind his head and pulled the hair gathered in a tie within view. "Someone left me with a present this morning."

Tifa covered her mouth with both hands to stifle the laugh threatening to erupt. Reno's rattail had been dyed a bright green color, and it didn't take much imagination to guess who'd done the deed.

Rude let out a snort, earning him a glare from his partner before quickly masking his reaction as one of indifference. Even Denzel had ceased his roller derby to gawk at the redhead's neon green hair.

"Hehe—hehe. Bwahaha!" Barret shook with mirth, and Marlene joined him with a little giggle. "You mean Yuffie did that?" he asked through his laughter. Reno shot evil glares around the room as everyone chuckled at his expense.

"Hey, yeah. Ha! Ha!" Reno's face contorted into disgust. "Laugh it up, Mr. Mom. But that little ninja now owes me, yo! She made a bet, and I'm here to collect!"

"Let me handle this," Tifa said to Barret as she pushed him onto a barstool. "You stay here!" She pointed at the redhead with a severe glare.

"Hey, babe. You ain't my mom!" Reno contorted his face into an incredulous grimace at her order.

A fitting end to the exhausting, drama-filled, though somehow romantic, week she'd just experienced. She rubbed at the ache forming at the nape of her neck and checked the clock as she passed through the kitchen. Only 11? The parade hasn't even started!

Tifa crept down the basement stairs, not wanting to alert anyone of the direction she was heading to find the mischievous princess. The door creaked loudly as she pushed it open, and she cringed at the noise.

Before she could take a single step toward Yuffie's crate, a hand latched onto her wrist and pulled her into a row of shelves. The same hand traveled up her arm and shoulder, wrapping itself around her neck. Her head tilted back as cool lips met her skin. "I thought you left," she whispered, not wanting to alert her Yuffie of his presence.

"I saw Reno sneaking down the street, decided I would check it out," Vincent murmured against her flesh. He dropped featherlight kisses along her jaw, and she sighed when his lips grazed hers. "You look like you needed a distraction."

"Mm hm," she sighed again, melting into his kiss before they were again interrupted by a sharp gasp.

Yuffie peeked out of her crate, eyes wide as she hissed at them. "Man, you guys are like gremlins with all of that smooching."

Tifa's face turned bright red at the younger woman's crude comment. She opened her mouth to speak but instead heard several footsteps stomping down the stairs.

"Now what the hell," Barret barked as he viewed Yuffie in the crate and Tifa resting against Vincent between the shelves.

Cloud peeked over his shoulder a few steps up with a single eye squinting in confusion at the same scene. "This is gonna take some getting used to," he said and followed Barret into the basement to force Yuffie out of the crate. Cloud rapped twice onto the container, urging its occupant to reveal herself.

"Uh—no one's home!"

"Naw, girl. You comin with us and you gonna tell my why we got Turks showin up with their ass on fire about something you did."

Yuffie opened the lid a tiny crack. "Ok, but for the record—I solved all our problems. Well, at least mine and Tifa's for the next week." She explained before climbing out of the crate.

Barret and Cloud marched Yuffie up the stairs as Tifa reluctantly—though happily followed. Vincent clutched her hand behind her as they ascended the stairs behind the rest of the group.

When she reached the landing, Vincent again pulled her into his arms. "I really gotta go now," he said, placing a tender kiss below her ear. "Looks like Barret has things under control."

She nodded in agreement and walked him to the side door. "See you later," she called out as she closed the door behind him. She sighed in exhaustion before turning toward the bar. Now for this—

Reno still sat in the bar's center, though his partner and Denzel now joined him in a chair nearby. They'd helped themselves to drinks. Tifa strode over to them crossly and lifted the beer bottle from Denzel's hand, daring him to argue with the serious look she gave him. The boy pouted and withdrew his phone, instantly losing himself with online chatter.

"Ok, now someone better start talking!" Barret yelled out.

Marlene ran back over to him and jumped back into his arms. "Daddy, you should talk nice and stop scaring people."

Cloud pushed Yuffie forward from behind the bar where she'd try to conceal herself. She cursed at him and slapped at his hands before inching past the bar with her shoulders huddled protectively in her cloak. When she shuffled into Reno's view with a guilty expression, she gave him a weak wave. "Heya, Reno. Nice of you to drop by this morning." Yuffie's voice wavered as she stared at the Turk with pleading eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, pipsqueak," he drawled. "I ain't buyin it. You owe me."

"Aww, come on! Now?" Yuffie whined, stepping forward nervously.

"A bet's a bet, Princess. And don't look at my partner. He won't help you with this one either," Reno said, shaking his head with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

Yuffie glanced around and sighed in resignation. "Oh alright." She gave Tifa an apologetic look as she slowly walked toward him. "I'm not really good at gambling," Yuffie said, shrugging her shoulders before she sat in Reno's lap.

"But you don't have to wear the uniform anymore," Yuffie said as she grabbed Reno's smirking face and lowered her head to his, ignoring the stunned gasps when she placed a sloppy kiss onto his mouth. He wrapped his arms around her suddenly—vigorously. He pulled her close, cradling her as he arched her backward and supported her weight in his tight embrace.

Tifa looked at Rude, the same confusion mirrored in his face. "Did you know about this?"

"Uh—"

Barret voiced the collective shock, "Somebody wanna tell me what the fuck is going on around here?"

Marlene gasped in his arms and covered his snarling mouth with her small hand. "Daddy! You just a said fuck!"