Chapter 8: Humanity's Hottest Gets a Partner
A/N: Posting early for Hachibukai, who stayed up until 3am for me to post the last chapter. Thanks for the support and for the shoutout, this chapter is for you! Special thanks also to everyone who has reviewed/favourited/followed this story so far. Seeing the notifications (translation: the love) makes every day feel like Christmas day. 3
A week passed. The Scouts division flourished with the combined efforts of Levi and his publicity manager. With their numbers replenished, Erwin announced the goal of their next mission: reclaim Wall Maria. He ordered Levi's publicity manager to restrict interviews to essential ones, giving the corporal time to attend strategy meetings and train the new recruits (1). The extra time also gave Levi a rare opportunity to grab breakfast and check in with his squad at mess hall.
As the Levi squad convened, the corporal gave a brief glance and nod to each member. He looked at Mikasa, who ignored him completely and instead fussed over Eren's knew the action was a ruse but still felt an irrational pang of jealousy. This woman really knew how to push his buttons.
Connie kicked the meeting off in full tradition with one of his brainless announcements.
"Did you see? There's a new Humanity's Hottest in town!" He waved his newspaper at the group. Despite Levi's best efforts, the Finance Department had renewed their subscription with the Trost Tribute.
Levi looked at Mikasa, who had moved on from Eren and was now violently denuding her bread roll of its crust. Judging from her disgruntled expression, her idea had been shamelessly appropriated.
"Who's the new title holder?" Sasha peered over Connie's shoulder.
"Rafaella Hart."
"Oh, the sweetheart of Trost! She's a beautiful and famous singer who performs at high-end social functions. My uncle took me to see her perform once," Jean said, latching onto an opportunity to elevate himself above his peers. "She has a very sweet voice. Her tone has a light, delicate quality, yet is full-bodied enough to be soothing on the ear of the listener. The overall effect is enough to make roses bloom and nightingales explode with envy."
"I smell a tart."
"Heichou! You can't insult a lady like that!" Jean was appalled.
"I meant you, Kirstein." Jean shot Levi a dirty look and Eren guffawed. "If any one of you mentions that broad at this table again, I'll have you cleaning up horse shit in the stables with your tongues. Now, I can't stay long as I have an interview this afternoon, so I want a quick update and then I'll delegate tasks for the week."
After breakfast, Levi returned to his office to find his publicity manager sitting inside.
"Corporal, it's been a while."
The last time Levi had seen Ezra was when the latter had turned up outside his room at 4:50 that morning begging him to don a tank top and scandalously tight shorts for his daily morning run. He had returned with bruises from all the groping and a bad case of friction burn between his legs.
"I didn't realise we were joined at the hip now," Levi retorted. "Get out, Steiner. I have reports to file."
"It's 'please leave',not 'get out'." Ezra corrected. "But I won't do that today. You have an important interview coming up with Nico Allen from the Trost Tribute."
Nico Allen was a journalist at the Trost Tribute and was nicknamed 'the bulldog' for his aggressive interview style.
"Remember, he's going to start by chatting about general aspects of your life like your work, your hobbies, your life outside of work. Then when you're least prepared, he'll barrage you with personal questions to throw you off. For example, he may suddenly ask you about the identity of the Humanity's Hottest mystery writer and what your link to them is."
"And in response, I flash him my genial smile and tell him it was a recruit going through a rebellious phase who we identified and disciplined accordingly," Levi recited, nonplussed. Aforementioned 'genial smile' involved Levi sinking his narrow eyes into his face and cranking the corners of his mouth up by two degrees.
"Exactly. But today, Miss Rafaella Hart will also be joining."
Levi looked up from his work. "Hah?"
"You mean 'excuse me' or 'what'." Ezra continued smoothly. "This is an exclusive interview about 'Humanity's Hottest' and she will be there as the successor to your title."
"Tch. How does this improve our recruitment rate?"
"This is less about recruitment and more about reputation. You see, Miss Hart is a very open woman, and it would be beneficial for you to make yourself…available…to her."
"You want me to court her."
"I want you to lead her on," Ezra said bluntly. "Rafaella Hart is popular with the public, and Commander Erwin told me that the Scouts need public support to gather resources for their upcoming mission. Nothing boosts public support more than indication of a romantic relationship between two beloved celebrities."
What a scumbag. "What if I don't want to do it?"
"Then we need to come up with a different plan. But this is our best chance, corporal, and we are short on time. Besides, the goal here is to boost rep by raising intrigue. You will not be forced to commit to anything, and neither will she."
Hange's words suddenly echoed in his mind. I don't want to see you or Mikasa get hurt.
Was this helping her or hurting her?
"Okay, I'll do it." He relented. "But what if Hart doesn't want my attention?"
"Oh, I think there's little fear of that." Ezra laughed. Levi didn't scare easily, but there was something in his publicity manager's laugh that made the hairs on the back of his neck shoot to a standing ovation.
The afternoon found Levi and Ezra in a small interview room at the Trost Tribute headquarters waiting for the camera crew to set up. Nico Allen had greeted them briefly, then excused himself to oversee other preparations. As they waited, Rafaella Hart flounced into the room. She was young and plump and wore a dark red gown that contrasted her golden curls. She surveyed the room with vivacious blue eyes exaggerated by smoky charcoal tones and pursed her painted red lips. She was a beautiful woman by all standards, but to Levi, she was the very image of a blood-sucking vampire.
Nico came in behind her and she turned to greet him.
"Nico Allen! Oh, how I've longed to see you!" The woman cooed with an affected air. She flung herself at the journalist and Levi hung back, waiting for sharp, pointy fangs to sink into the reporter's skinny neck. Then she spotted Levi.
"And Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman. I am so pleased to finally meet you!" She curtsied deeply, then giggled. "Oh me, oh my! I must apologise for my inflexible legs. I have bent them as far as they will go and yet I still cannot meet your height!" She offered her hand for him to kiss.
"You've stooped low enough," Levi said disparagingly. He felt his publicity manager nudge him in the back, a not-so-subtle code sign to be more amiable. The nudge provoked Levi into leaving Hart's hand untouched.
"Aren't you just charming," The singer withdrew her hand, laughing. "Well, I'm sure we will warm to each other soon enough." She turned to Nico. "Now, when can we start getting to know the corporal, dear?"
If Nico Allen was a bulldog, Rafaella Hart was a rottweiler. The woman hit Levi like a truck, laying into the innuendos so hard that he barely had time to sport an erection. She patted his hand until it turned red, fluttered her lashes until he was convinced she had something in her eyes, joked about his sensuous ability to eat small fruits, and at one point artlessly dropped her handkerchief so she could stand up and bend over erratically, causing her petticoats to fold over like a flower in premature bloom and bestow him with the tantalising sight of her drawers. At one point, she grabbed his hand without warning, causing him to glare at her with such open hostility that she blushed.
It was by far the most painful interview Levi had ever had to sit through. But it was in this intensely uncomfortable situation that Levi defied his circumstances and shone through a true gentleman. Hostile glare notwithstanding, Levi answered Nico's invasive questions with equal portions of evasiveness and equanimity and responded to Hart's tasteless antics with two-degree smiles. Levi had to grudgingly admit that his improved tolerance was the result of Ezra Steiner's positive influence. That, however, did not stop him from dreaming about gouging Rafaella Hart's large, blue eyes out and jamming them into Nico Allen's equally large mouth.
The interview finally concluded, but Rafaella was still not satisfied. She latched onto Levi's arm. "Levi dear, it's been such a pleasure getting to know you and you've left me yearning for more. Would you care to join me for afternoon tea tomorrow?"
Levi was about to reply that he would much rather watch her oil wrestle with an Aberrant but checked himself when Ezra shot him a threatening look. "If you insist," he bit out.
"Perfect! Ask my personal assistant for my address. See you tomorrow!" And off she pranced.
Ezra approached him as she retreated, a smile on his thin lips.
"You did a fine job today, corporal. I've talked to Nico. He tells me that the exclusive will appear in tomorrow's newspaper. The public is going to lap it up!"
To Levi, the future of humanity looked much bleaker than it did before he had stepped into that God-forsaken room.
A/N: What do you think of Ezra Steiner and Rafaella Hart so far? I normally don't like inserting OCs too much, but in this case I think they work really well and I had so much fun writing them (see following chapters for more reasons...). I've also added in one or two footnotes (e.g. as in this chapter) for small plot points that I think are worth clarifying and they'll be marked with numbers in brackets. Anyway, thank you for reading, please leave a review/fav! Hope you enjoyed reaching this chapter, and see you again tomorrow!
Plot points:
(1) Normally, soldiers take three years to train. In this case, the soldiers are primarily required as manpower to complete the mission, so while they need to be good at combat/adept with ODM gear, they do not need as much time to train as normal. I think this fits in reasonably well with the events that take place after this story...