Chapter 9: Humanity's Hottest Gets Into a Pinch
The next day, Levi was in his office when his door burst open without ceremony. Mikasa stormed in brandishing a newspaper. She was livid.
"What is this?" She hissed, tossing the paper onto his desk. On the front page was a picture of Rafaella and Levi sitting side by side, gazing into each other's eyes. Although the picture was in sepia, there were enough shades of brown to highlight the blush on Rafaella's face. Her hand sat atop his. The title "Humanity's Hottest: A Budding Romance?!" was emblazoned across the front. Levi suppressed an internal groan. Ezra had said his facial expressions were improving, but in the picture his hostile glare looked more like a sultry gaze. Apparently, one still had to be up close to discern his emotions correctly.
A few nosy recruits peered in, raising Levi's ire. "Why don't you come in and join us," the corporal said sarcastically. The heads disappeared, and the door was hastily slammed shut.
"You're not serious about this airhead," Mikasa bristled.
"Who I spend my time with is none of your business. Now get out."
"You're lying. You still care for me," she said, crossing her arms.
"I don't. You are just a plain and presumptuous brat with a tasteless liking for office floor sex." The mean, petty words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Rafaella Hart is the total opposite of you. And in case that didn't sink into your thick skull, I will be visiting her for tea later today."
Suddenly, Mikasa's anger dissipated. She slowly digested his words and studied his face with troubled eyes. Levi willed himself to stay calm and chanted Hange's words over and over again in a sickening, self-righteous mantra. He wouldn't hurt her. He would protect her, so that if something happened to him, she could push forward and forget about him quickly because what she thought had existed between them had never been real.
But another part of him argued that all of that would be so wrong because she would be telling herself a lie, and the worst part was that he would have forced her into believing it.
Torn between these two minds, Levi could only watch, despair concealed behind a blank mask, and wait dumbly for Mikasa's reaction. He hoped she would lash out at him and beat him to a pulp. Or maybe she would barrage him with a torrent of verbal abuse. Or maybe, just maybe, she would cry. He would not complain if she did one or more of those things, or all the above. Then he might have a chance at taking back his words and holding her in his arms.
But he had heard through the grapevine that Mikasa had had a traumatic childhood and knew painfully well that people who have been traumatised in early life never express their feelings the same way normal people do. For what seemed like an eternity, Mikasa stayed silent, her eyes searching his for a sign that he could not give. Eventually, she turned away, shielding her face from view.
"I understand. Forgive me, heichou. I was out of line." She grabbed the paper and strode out of his office, leaving him alone with his painful, pounding heart.
"Remember to smile and nod, smile and nod," Ezra said. They were in a cab en route to Rafaella Hart's house. At Ezra's instruction, Levi had donned a crisp, white, collared shirt with a dark green bowtie. Dark green suspenders stretched across his upper torso to attach to brown pants that ended neatly where his loafers began. The outfit was completed with a khaki green coat that highlighted the corporal's slim, toned figure.
"Would it really have killed Erwin to veto this meeting?" Levi muttered resentfully.
"He was fully on board when I told him it was for reputation."
"Why don't you go instead? People seem to think we look alike. I'm sure Hart won't be able to tell the difference either." He was still aching from his earlier exchange with Mikasa and wanted nothing more than to wallow in misery in his office.
"That would be inappropriate. Now calm down. I know yesterday was tough on you, but there will be no cameras once you're inside."
"That's exactly what I'm worried about," he said gloomily.
They drove through the front gates towards the Hart residence, which was a large mansion situated in a pretty wilderness. A crowd of reporters was waiting for them. They swarmed the cab, cameras angling to get a good shot, then, at length, made way for the cab to enter the grounds.
Rafaella Hart was waiting at the entrance. She wore a dazzling, royal blue dress and her golden curls were swept to the side, revealing a string of pearls around her delicate neck. She smiled prettily and waved a gloved hand at them. Levi could easily have mistaken her for a fairy-tale princess if he were not already aware of the nature of the beast.
"Look now, she must really like you if she's personally welcoming you! I will return in an hour, corporal, so please behave until then."
"If you don't come and take me away by then, I will rip her to shreds," Levi threatened. He stepped out of the cab and almost fell into an eagerly awaiting pair of arms.
"Levi, thank you so much for coming today," Rafaella purred, kissing him on both cheeks. "Come inside, let's escape these hounding reporters."
I'd much rather stay with them, he retorted mentally. Instead, he gave her a (genial) smile, nodded, and let her shepherd him through the large, double-oak doors of her mansion.
They entered a large foyer with high ceilings and marble columns. Large, framed paintings of cascading waterfalls and landscapes were delicately arranged on the walls. Levi noticed the pearl white floor was polished to shine. His soldiers could learn something about cleaning from the maids here, though he noted that the floor would glow even brighter with an extra round of scouring accompanied by his twist-and-swipe technique. One of the maids approached him and offered to remove his coat.
"Welcome to my humble abode. Let me get you some refreshments. You must be famished and fatigued after your journey," Rafaella exclaimed, as if he had trekked over a mountain to see her. She snapped her fingers and the maid that had taken his coat curtsied and disappeared through a door that presumably led to the kitchen.
Levi followed Rafaella through another door into a spacious parlour. Three cream-coloured sofas were arranged around a rectangular, glass coffee table. Lifelike paintings of various animals decorated the room, and two bookshelves stood regally by the side. Brilliant sunlight illuminated the room through large bay windows overlooking a lush, green garden.
The maid entered with a tea tray and proceeded to set the refreshments on the table. He watched her. Two teacups, a teapot, and a plate of scones with clotted cream and jam in a separate dish. He accepted the cup of tea Rafaella poured out for him and sipped, momentarily soothed by the hot beverage. Earl grey, his favourite.
"Nice view," he said, glancing out the window.
"Yes; in good weather, I like to walk about the garden," Rafaella said, indicating a small glass door that Levi hadn't noticed previously. "But today, I think the view will be even better from the bedroom." She looked at him and winked cheekily.
Levi willed himself not to speak again.
The maid left the room and returned shortly with a large bowl of strawberries. Levi glared as the offending fruit was placed on the table, and Rafaella laughed.
"I'm sorry. I loved reading your exclusives in the Trost Tribute. I especially loved that picture of you nibbling on a strawberry and just had to see you perform the act in real life."
"If I'd known, I would have sent clones from the brothel," Levi mumbled.
"Excuse me?"
"I would have sent scones from my brother," Levi said louder.
"You have a brother?" Rafaella's eyes widened.
"He works as a mole for the military in Mitras; makes the best scones." Then, to protect his imaginary sibling: "Never surfaces above ground, though."
Rafaella was oblivious to his pulling of her leg. "Oh, what an unfortunate soul. Mitras is such a grimy city, and the Underground is full of lowlifes and wretches. Why doesn't the government just snuff them out already!"
"What good is killing people in the Underground when the real scum exists higher in the ranks?" Levi shot.
In the uncomfortable silence that ensued, Levi hoped she would be offended and send him home. Unfortunately, he received no such reprieve. "I'm sorry, I forgot you grew up there. Of course you would feel attached to your brethren. Yet you are so noble and full of passion! I can't help myself: I must kiss you!" She reached for him with open arms.
"I prefer handshakes," He said coldly, pushing her away and extending a rigid hand.
Rafaella looked at him, her smile faltering. "O-Of course," she said quietly, taking his hand in hers. "Why, we might be seen as being too hasty if we were to kiss during our second meeting."
Levi wanted to point out that she had already flashed her drawers during their first meeting but decided not to. The woman had gone suspiciously quiet, and with her mercurial temperament it was difficult to predict how she might react to further antagonism. He excused himself to go use the bathroom. Once inside, he strode over to the sink, splashed cold water over his face, then checked his watch. Forty-five minutes left.
"Steiner you bastard, I hope you plan to come early," he muttered darkly under his breath.
Suddenly, there was a loud, rattling sound. It came from the large closet next to the cocked an eyebrow.
"Steiner, I don't know whether you're in there or not, but I won't ask any questions if you are," he joked dryly.
To Levi's utter surprise, the closet door burst open and a scruffy green cap atop an oversized, brown trenchcoat emerged. As the surreal assembly used its misshapen limbs to push its way out of the confined space, the upturned coat collar flattened to reveal a red scarf. Levi's eyebrows soared into intergalactic space –
– there was only one goddamned woman in the world who would insist on wearing such a bedraggled scarf –
– then furrowed deep in consternation. He grabbed Mikasa.
"Ackerman, what the hell are you doing here?" He hissed.
"I snuck in as a reporter. I'm here to rescue you." Mikasa replied. He waited for her to laugh, but her face remained perfectly serious. He remembered who he was talking to.
"I'm having afternoon tea with Rafaella Hart."
"No, you're not." Her voice took on an accusatory tone. "You're avoiding me."
"Now is not the time to air out your issues, brat. You shouldn't even be here. I was invited, you were not," Levi reminded her acidly.
"You're making a big mistake seeing that woman. You don't belong in this dollhouse."
"That's not for you to decide!"
Mikasa's grey eyes flashed with anger. "Just five seconds ago you were begging Steiner to save you. As for Rafaella Hart, you hate the woman! You looked ready to kill her in that newspaper picture. If I had been the writer, the heading would have been 'Floozy discovers superpower to evade direct death glares'."
Suddenly, the absurdity of the situation hit Levi. A relationship, founded on the wilful misinterpretation of the media; him, taking afternoon tea on military orders and exercising homonyms to avoid being dragged into the bed of a woman he couldn't give a rat's ass about; him, fleeing to the bathroom like a soldier retreating to the relative safety of a trench during war; his subordinate, disguising herself as an amorphous tree and concealing herself in a bathroom closet to rescue him.
He wanted to laugh like a madman.
For the most absurd part of it all was that they were only here because he had tried to deny his feelings for one Mikasa Ackerman.
"You stubborn brat," he said.
Without thinking twice, he crushed his lips against hers, muffling her surprised gasp. Giddy pride roared through him as he felt her arms wind instinctively around his waist. He drew her closer and growled possessively as she branded his neck with hot kisses that left his skin tingling. He pushed her roughly into the closet and stepped in after her, ripping off the unflattering cap and trenchcoat that cruelly obscured her feminine figure.
"That was a terrible headline," he murmured, unwinding her scarf from her neck and fumbling with the buttons of her shirt. He shrugged it off, giving him glorious, unfettered access to her smooth, pale skin.
"At least I wouldn't be misleading anyone," she said, running her hands through his hair.
"You knew that I didn't care about Hart?"
"Mm…there was the picture…and there was what you said…"
"What?"
"That I had a 'tasteless liking for office floor sex', and that 'Rafaella Hart was the total opposite of me'." She quoted his words directly, looking at him defiantly. "Given how much I know you enjoyed our sex that night, I realised then and there that you are just depraved as I am and misguided to boot."
"I thought you believed me." Levi recalled the image of dejected Mikasa standing before his desk with a stab of pain.
"I was despairing at your blindness, and knew I had to come here to save you instead."
He chuckled, his mortification at his earlier behaviour soothed by her brash confidence. He brushed his nose against hers affectionately. "You're quite the detective, Mikasa."
Levi revelled in her surprise at hearing her name on his lips. He nipped her shoulder, eliciting a mewl, before kissing her again. "And now you've done your part, I will do mine." His rough fingers brushed against her inner thigh and she pressed against him in response, shuddering delightfully.
"H-Heichou – " He could almost see her mind going hazy with lust and relished the power he held over her every thought, word, move, and sensation.
"That's right Mikasa, I am your superior and you will do as I say," he whispered huskily against her lips. "Right now, I order you to say my name – "
"Levi! Are you in there?"
Levi almost bit into his lover's lip as a shrill voice shattered his bliss. Rafaella had come looking for him.
"Yes!" Levi barked. He should have known that Rafaella was too clingy to give him the time of day to ravish Mikasa, let alone take a bloody constipated shit. He cursed at his carelessness, then whispered urgently to his lover, "We need to get you out of here."
"I'm not leaving without you!" Mikasa hissed back indignantly, hastily pulling her shirt back on and reaching for her scarf.
"I will be fine." Levi grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Do you trust me?"
She burrowed into her scarf, blushing prettily, and nodded.
Of course she does, he thought tenderly, caressing her cheek with his thumb and planting a chaste kiss on her forehead. He had pushed her away repeatedly, but not once had she ever given up on him. In the same way she had once loyally stuck by Eren, so she now bound herself to him.
And unlike that stubborn, green-eyed Jaeger brat, he was going to make it worth her while.
Rafaella Hart screamed his name again. They had no time to lose.
"I'll distract her. Go across the foyer to the parlour by the main entrance. There's a small door leading to the garden that will take you behind the house – "
"Levi dear, you can't hide forever. I'm coming in!"
The door flew open. Levi whirled around. Time slowed to a halt as Rafaella walked in to see him standing protectively before a tousle haired Mikasa with a half-buttoned shirt. He had only one thought as the singer wailed the highest note she had ever hit in her entire career.
Oh shit.
A/N: I feel evil, making Mikasa suffer in the last chapter and following it up with a nasty cliffhanger (mwahaha). Even so, I hope the ending of this chapter makes the funny exchanges between Rafaella and Levi more enjoyable to get through! I've always wanted to put Levi in the same room with a formidable airhead like Rafaella and watch the shit hit the fan, hehe. As always, thank you so much for your support and for reading this far, and all reviews are welcome!