Introduction

Some say that war never ends, it simply pauses before inevitably returning, worse than before. Perhaps this is true, but the idea can lead one to dark and unsettling conclusions. It is, however, quite accurate when describing the Mushroom War, which despite the numbers added and name changes applied, is the same war it's always been. The same exact war for nearly two centuries, an unending blood-bath pitting millions of innocent toads and goombas against each other. The same war started by a long-dead King of the Koopa Kingdom, continued to this day by both sides out of an anger that long ago lost any justification. For every year of peace and treaties, there seemed to be another five around the corner full of death, bodies, rotting mushroom corpses in a field of ash and smoke where it seemed no one could take victory over the grotesque scene left behind. The common goomba had never seen Princess Peach and only vaguely knew who she was, yet they fought all the same for a prize they could not have. After so many years of conflict, there was such a hatred between the sides that the fighting seemed to justify itself. It was only right to slaughter toads when so many of your fellow goombas had been killed just the same. It didn't matter who had kidnapped who, only that spear tips and blades met the soft, mushroomy flesh of the enemy. This is the world of Mario, a place of perpetual war and gruesome battle. A place where whole towns of toads and goombas would be slaughtered overnight, sometimes hundreds or thousands, just to advance that side's cause even the tiniest bit. Millions would die, and not just the men, but the women and the children too. Often, towns downriver would know of a battle simply from the reddening of the water. Then, to their horror, they would find that goombas and toads don't travel much slower than water and the river would darken even more. This is the world of Mario, a violent place where the only hope for peace is a former plumber turned race kart driver. Mario, a simple man who has already begun on his journey even if he doesn't know it yet. This is the man who will change the world, if he survives.

Act One

Chapter 1

It was bright and sunny when Mario woke up in his bed, but this wasn't a peaceful awakening. He heard crashing from downstairs in his house- Who was here? Luigi had left for a trip not 2 days ago, and he wasn't due back for at least a week. The only other person with a key was Peach, but it was very unlike her to come and visit without any notice, especially if he was sleeping. Besides, she was very busy these days. So who could it be? He thought that maybe Yoshi had broken in and started making a mess of his place, but he still scanned his bedroom for a weapon. It was a small, simple bedroom on the top level of his 2-story mushroom-shaped house, in the cap. He had no desire for luxuries or the finer things, and his bedroom keenly reflected that: a simple wooden bed; a simple bookshelf only half full, and half of that being worthless trinkets and baubles; a small table and chair where Mario could do all his writing; and lastly, in the corner of the room, there was a chest with his valuables. He thought for a second before lifting the entire chest above his head, about 200 pounds of gold coins and starmen. The raw heft of the item would make quite a potent weapon in strong hands. Weapon in hand, he crept quietly down the stairs.

As he looked around the corner of the stairwell into his living room, he was shocked by what he saw: A goomba! The goomba was already looking in his direction as he peeked, freezing completely when he saw he was spotted. Mario bent his knees a bit and got ready to hurl the massive chest, an attack the goomba stood no chance against. Mario was surprised again when the goomba spoke, hoarsely at first-

"W-wait! Don't hurt me! Please!" Mario was slightly amused by his plea.

"It's-a me, Mario! And I'ma gonna spaghettifi your insides if you don't tell me why you're here!" said Mario, clearly terrifying the little goomba that much more.

"I-I needed your kart plans. Bowser sent me, he said you were cheating in the Grand Prix and he could prove it."

Mario expressed visible confusion. "I'ma not cheating at Grand Prix. I don't care about winning, just the competition."

"Y-yea, I didn't think you knew about it. The toads! The toads are the ones altering your kart, and they're doing it at Peach's request!"

"Uh huh, and King Bowser senda only one goomba to get the plans?"

"I'm highly trained, but yea, I guess so"

Mario frowned, "You, Mr. Goomba, are lying to me. Tell me the truth!"

"W-what? That is the truth! I'm not..."

Mario's frown deepened as he lifted the chest above his head. The goomba's eyes grew wide, like dinner plates.

"Wrong-a answer, Mr. Goomba" and before the goomba could even respond, the chest had annihilated his entire body. In the process, goomba blood and brains shot out with explosive force, even landing on Mario a good 20 feet away. "Mr. Goomba not-a even lowly trained." said Mario, proudly. Like his bedroom, the living room was a simple room with plain, wooden furniture. The only difference was that now his living room had a thin coating of goomba juice in most places. This would definitely be a challenge to clean, something he hadn't even thought of before throwing the chest. He stumbled back upstairs, cleaned himself and put on fresh clothes. Despite this odd beginning to his day, he still had important things to do and the goomba mess could wait.

Rushing out his front door, he didn't even bother to lock it, imagining the horror inside would deter most thieves. Captain Toad had requested his assistance today, needing training before he could become a licensed Kart racer and officially be added to the roster. Like most toads, he lacked any natural talent in driving but had an excess of ambition. This usually proved to be a fatal combo in Kart racing, but Mario had this strange feeling that Captain Toad was too important to die. On his way to the race track, he saw something odd- two toads, bickering loudly in the street.

"-and you never share your mushrooms! Even though I share with you!" said the yellow toad, angrily. The green toad responded.

"So what? You offer me mushrooms, I'll take 'em. Doesn't mean you get any back!"

"What?! You're supposed to share with your friends, what if mushroom-picking doesn't go well for you and you're still hungry? That's how a society thrives!" The yellow toad seemed to be getting more and more upset.

"Society? How about I thrive? And you're not even my friend, just an annoying neighbor!" The green toad was basically spitting in the yellow toads face. That's when Mario saw the first punch- the yellow toad caught the green toad off guard, knocking him to the ground. The green toad was on his feet almost immediately, but Mario stepped in before any more punches could be thrown.

"Hey! It's-a me, Mario! What is this all about?" Mario was almost twice the height of either toad and directly between them, so neither seemed interested in continuing the physical aspect of the fight. Still, the anger was strong.

"This toad has the nerve to eat my mushrooms and STILL report my house for a code violation! My grass wasn't even that overgrown!" The yellow toad was fuming.

"Yea and he'd rather live like he's in a trailer than a mushroom house. Obviously some neighbors don't like that!" The green toad didn't seem that upset, just snide. Mario knew the solution.

Standing over the green toad so was fully in his shadow, Mario spoke slowly and with purpose.

"You-a gonna listen here, green toad. He's-a your neighbor, if you can't live next to him peacefully and share your mushrooms then I'm-a gonna find you a new home and it won't be this nice. Not-a that nice at all."

Green toad gulped, then spoke "N-now that you say it like that, I guess I should share some of my mushrooms. Yellow toad, how many mushrooms did you want again?"

With a sly smile, yellow toad responded, "6 will be plenty. Thanks Mario!"

"I'ma gonna check on you guys later, learn-a to live next to each other!" and with that Mario continued to the race track.

o-o-o

Upon reaching the Kart race track, Mario found that Captain Toad was already there waiting for him. The track on which they would be training was Mario circuit, an iconic track named after Mario when he won his fourth Grand Prix. That was a long time ago, but the name had remained since. Spotting him near the entrance of the track, Captain Toad ran over, delighted to see Mario.

"Mario! What a beautiful day to race!" A toad's positivity could be contagious or repulsive, depending on your mindset. After spending so much time around toads, Mario found their attitude more charming than not.

"It's-a great day, Captain! Can't-a wait to get out on the track!" And Mario wasn't lying. Any day that began with him literally crushing the life out of a goomba was bound to be good. The clean up wouldn't be fun, but he could just hire toads for that.

"You said you would teach me drifting today. Are we still doing that?"

"Yes-a sir, Captain Toad. We-a gonna start off simple and then go from there. You ready?" Mario began to suit up, then remembered that he had nothing to suit up in because safety equipment was banned in Kart racing. A silly rule, for sure, and probably one of the reasons so many toads died while racing. But none of the named characters had ever been injured so no one really cared. Well, toads cared, but no one really cared about toads.

Hopping in the 2 seater trainer Kart (left over from the Double Dash racing series years prior) Mario had Captain Toad go around the track, slowly at first, warming him up and building his confidence before they started drifting. Captain could follow the track well enough, but this was still just 50cc. Mario hadn't let him race at a higher speed yet. After finishing their 10th lap, Mario had him start to drift. This is where everything fell apart, as Captain Toad slid all over the track and even into walls. Luckily, Captain and Mario were both main characters so they were relatively unscathed by the frequent collisions, even though it should have caused intense head and spine injuries. The kart, however, quickly became damaged. I mean it didn't, because karts were also inexplicably invincible but either way they pulled in for a pit stop. Pit Crew toad jogged out to the kart to assess the damage. There was none, because like I said before karts were completely invincible and never broke down or ran out of gas, but Pit Crew Toad went through the motions anyways so he could keep his completely pointless job.

"You-a need to counter-steer during your drifts, but not-a too much now." Mario had said this before but maybe this time Captain would actually get it.

"It's so hard though! It doesn't go in the direction you're pointed!" Captain said, almost word for word what Mario had heard from so many new drivers previously.

"No it doesn't. You-a gotta figure out where it's really going and adjust-a the angle by steering."

"Oh ok, it's just so hard though."

"Don't-a worry," said Mario hopefully, "you-a gonna get it if you keepa trying."

Pit Crew Toad finished fixing the kart. Actually, there was nothing to fix in the first place so he'd just been walking around the kart for about a minute, kicking the tires and checking bolts with his fingers. Holy fuck, was Pit Crew Toad usless and completely unneccesary. But he was still a part of the roster somehow.

Getting back in the kart, Mario could see Captain Toad was slowly getting better at drifting. Each lap showed a little improvement until he wasn't even colliding with walls anymore. Maybe Captain toad could seriously be a Grand Prix racer thought Mario. Perhaps even a Grand Prix winner? No, he thought, a toad could never win the Grand Prix. It'd never happened before. Still, Captain Toad showed promise.

Eventually the sun began to set, and although Captain could still drive at night because he basically has a big ass headlight on his head, Mario didn't want to throw too many new things at him. Besides, they were both getting exhausted. They talked about kart racing for probably another hour, sitting in the stands of the track. Captain Toad wanted to know everything, whether it was chain-drifting or mushroom use optimization, he was fascinated by all the facets of kart racing. Mario was almost sad when he told Captain he had to go because it was late, but the little toad understood and they parted ways. The journey back wasn't very eventful, and Mario found himself drawn into his thoughts. The Mushroom Kingdom was at war, and though he was an accomplished plumber and kart racer, he knew that his true passion - goomba stomping - would probably come into play very soon. Peach wouldn't force him to go, she wasn't like that, but he knew she would ask and they both knew he would do whatever she asked of him. Killing goombas for Princess Peach. It's-a gonna be just like old times. This sent a shiver down his spine, but he couldn't tell if it was fear or anticipation. It was probably a mix of both. Continuing down the road, he came up to yellow and green toads' houses. He wondered if they had truly resolved their differences, but then he noticed something. Something gruesome. A twisted form lay halfway in a bush on the road. Then he saw the yellow and white mushroom hat and gasped in horror, realizing it was the dead, lifeless body of yellow toad. His head was twisted 180 degrees and his arms were bent at unnatural angles. He couldn't see the rest of the toad, but it was presumably just as twisted and mangled. He marched towards the green toad's house, convinced of who the murderer was. Toads murdering toads. It was almost unheard of, but Mario could think of no other suspect. No matter what though, Mario would get to the bottom of this.